Chapter 9: A Place to Hide - Another chapter of Hermione saving everyone's ass 🤷♀️ We have some notes for the film....like how Hermione, instead of modifying the waitress's memory she just screams "GO! LEAVE!" ...❓Which I guess is the same thing? 🤷♀️And also these three idiots don't even take all those pastries from the cafe they effing destroyed 🙄 you tell the barista to GTFO and you don't even get yourself some snackies?
200. Effing. Episodes. How did we get here? Here you go, Snitches, play this while watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's (Philosopher's Stone) on mute. Our Basic Snitches guests help fill in the correct dialogue. Join Adam and Tara with Ashley, Delia, Dan, Sarah, Natalie, Victoria and Bee for this wild adaptation of the first HP movie! Enjoy, friends!
Chapter 8: The Wedding - Latke chat time! Adam gets his tongue in order and Tara is speaking in a weird southern accent. Barney is a nosy dude and Muriel the Hutt is fucking annoying. Also, Bill and Fleur fuck. A lot. Not necessarily in this chapter but just assume if you don't see them, they're probably fucking🤷♀️
Chapter 7: The Will of Albus Dumbledore (this is chapter 7 of Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) - Tara is reading the version of this book with no sex in it. Lion man is annoying AF in this chapter. What does the Happy birthday song sound like in the Wizarding World? "I didn't make this fucking wand." Actual quote from the book.
Chapter 6: The Ghoul in Pajamas - Harry is back on his bullshit of wanting to leave everyone behind for their own safety. Of course, Hermione and Ron are not having any of it...and frankly, neither are we. So it's time to prep for a wedding and it's astounding how little that WIZARDS are utilizing magic...🤷♀️
It's our first special episode of season 7: Tara and a Bunch of Slytherins 🤣 Peggy and Natalie are here to discuss movies 5 and 6. It's glorious chaos and we are so thankful to record with two of our favorites!
Chapter 5: Fallen Warrior - Adam, your wine is ready for pickup! On top of another reminder that the seven Potters was a terrible idea, Adam and Tara also share their Wizardly Weekend of Kent experience (the good, and the ridiculous).
Chapter 4: The Seven Potters - Today Lulu and Zinbitch discuss chapter 4 of Harry Potter and the Field Wine Guide. JK, sorry this isn't actually a wine podcast 🤦♀️ This chapter is absolute chaos and honestly did NOT need to be... just use your invisibility cloak, Harry! Seriously though, we basically come up with at least half a dozen better ideas than everyone dressing up as Harry. PS. Hedwig didn't actually die. She's in France enjoying a croissant. This is canon....
Chapter 3: The Dursleys Departing - This episode features a special guest: Tara's fan!!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ (It's summer, y'all, and global warming is REAL). It's our last chapter with the Dursleys and we are not sad about it. So then it's our last chance to discuss just how shitty Vernon Dursley is...but we also get to spend some time talking about how Dudley has changed for the better. Also, it is treasonous that they filmed the scene where Dudley and Harry say goodbye to each other and then they...
Chapter 2: In Memoriam - Just a reminder that we're all changing our last names to Thickness! Adam and Tara discuss the most effective way to drink wine and are unable to give Rita Skeeter the benefit of the doubt because she's kind of terrible 🤷♀️
Chapter 1: The Dark Lord Ascending - Yaxley and Snape take a romantic stroll after getting coffee and take in the sights. Voldy continues his favorite pastime of refusing to admit that Harry has any skills. Nobody has extra shit in the Wizarding World. Oh, and Adam and Tara are back on their bullshit. Welcome to season 7, Snitches!
It's almost time, Snitches! Enjoy a sneak peek at the first couple of episodes to come in the final book season of Basic Snitches! And a bonus! This trailer includes returning Slytherin guests Peggy and Natalie. More to come on September 1st!
To close out season 6, we present you with all the crazy shit we haven't shared with you yet... 😂😂
In this special episode, we discuss the movies of Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire with our favorite mother-daughter duo,Jean and Delia Brennan. PS. This episode is worth it just for Delia's Snape impression and spot on summary of Prisoner of Azkaban ❤️❤️
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince book/movie wrap-up, or, an evaluation of the resume of Mr. Harry James Potter and his undeniable qualifications to maybe, just maybe , be trusted to know what he's talking about.
Chapter 30: The White Tomb - We spend a lot of time in Harry's head but that's honestly better than being around the Pink devil (who comes to Dumble's funeral for what purpose?). We also discuss the complete unimportance of Eileen Prince and how the HBP book was not evil, just misused. Tara even gives Snape a little bit of a pass... 😱
Chapter 29: The Phoenix Lament - This whole chapter takes place in the hospital wing where everything is awkward and sad. Also Fawkes is setting shit on fire and tearing things up now.
Chapter 28: Flight of the Prince (or, Snape Prances Away) Fuck that blonde death eater.
Chapter 27: The Lightening Struck Tower - Even though he's basically on Death's door, Dumble still makes sure to give Baby Death Eater some kudos for doing a good job on his woodworking project. Post Hogwarts, we need the short story series of Draco attending Magical Trade School. Tara is a bad speller but definitely knows how to spell Frenrirrr. Adam, your word is PROTEIN. Also, Frenrirrr isn't even a real Death Eater...he's just a throat-eater
This episode is about Snape. Episode title is still about Hagrid. Because he's better than Snape 🤷♀️
Chapter 26: The Cave - It's finally vacay time!!!! Dumble and Harry arrive in Palm springs to find that the hotel accommodations were not as expected.... But at least, there are some cool water features...
Chapter 25: The Seer Overhead - So why can Slughorn give students mead but Trelawney has to hide he sherry bottles? Also, everything is Snape's fault. 🤷♀️
Chapter 24 - Sectumsempra Adam's house is hot and Tara is slowly removing clothing. Draco and Harry have a dick measuring contest. Again. Ginny is the actual best. Harry is an idiot. Seriously. WTF Harry. PS. Snape still sucks.
Chapter 23: Horcruxes - Dan is still here and with Dan, we get Victoria - queen of the fantastic one-liners! Seriously though, Victoria and Adam bring the chaotic energy to this episode while we highlight just how nerdy Dan is. This podcast is full of nerds. Tapeworms are gross.
SINNING IS FUN! Pausing from the book for just one week, we discuss the Seven Deadly Sins and how the characters of the series represent each one. We also take a look at the Seven Heavenly Virtues.
Chapter 22: After the Burial - On this week's episode of "wizards will pretty much drink anything you put in front of them", we discuss Slughorn and Hagrid's drunken shenanigans, continue to acknowledge Hermione as the voice of reason, and learn that Harry is really skilled at guilt tripping people...(wonder who he learned that from... )
Chapter 21: The Unknowable Room - The most important thing in this chapter is that sassy Ron is amazing 😂 Also, it's clear that both Harry AND Kreacher need to chill when it comes to their obsession with Malfoy.
Chapter 20: Lord Voldemort's Request - Brian is back and there are hot cookies! Madame Adam makes an appearance! We roast Dumble a lot here and discuss the journey of each horcrux that Voldy has made and we do an interesting word collaboration.
Chapter 19: Elf Tales - Basically, McDickface is the WORST. Also, Ron needs to grow a pair and PomPom is sassy. The taco discussion in this episode is INTENSE. Because tacos are the most important.
Chapter 18: Crispy Dick...I mean, Birthday Surprises - Everyone sucks dicks. We all know what the 3 Ds are... 🤷♀️
