Chapter 17: A Sluggish Memory - It is canon. Ed Sheeran is a Weasley (honestly, though, he should have been Charlie Weasley in the movies). We discuss the power of Sleepytime Tea and do our best to manifest the bonus that Dawlish deserves after having to be continually embarrassed by Dumble. Also, Death Eaters could have called themselves Dark Glamour and they didn't. Missed opportunities. So, are YOU are hoarder or a horcrux?
Chapter 16: A Very Frosty Christmas - We get a thing from the fuuuuuuuuutuuuureeee...(I don't know, some time in October of 2080 or something 🤷♀️). We discuss the abuse of garden gnomes and how the ministry is still garbage. Don't worry, though, Sassy Harry is here to tell the Lion Man about himself. Adam teaches everyone the true power of do and Tara has finally been domesticated.
Chapter 15: The Unbreakable Vow - Everyone is drunk and gay Adam. Tara. And everyone at Slughorn's party. This chapter is cattiness and Christmas parties. Also where is our book about Sanguini the nice vampire who just needs a snack?
Chapter 14: Felix Felicis - THE HORMONES, Y'ALL 😳 Did you know that the reason that Hogwarts has so many empty classrooms is because Dumble fired all the math teachers??? It's canon.
Chapter 13: The Secret Riddle - Another Dumble lesson! We discuss how Harry's instincts are pretty reliable and how maybe Dumble could directly respond to him instead of ignoring his concerns about Malfoy 😒 We also discuss our vast (lack of) knowledge about mouth instruments. Intrigued by the delicious list of ice cream flavors at the start of the episode? Those can be found through Jeni's ice cream...but until they sponsor us, we're not giving you the link here so I guess you'll have to Google...
HAPPY NEW YEAR SNITCHES! This week we are reviewing the reviews with AJ and Jen from Podcast in Death (Tara's other podcast). This time, we just talk about the movies. Some reviewers we agree with and some should probably stay off the internet 🤷♀️ Enjoy and get ready to dive back into Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince next week!!!
Happy all the holidays! Thank you for another year, Qwens! We hope you enjoy this (abridged) Snitch-ified adaptation of HP5 ❤️
Chapter 12: Silver and Opals - this chapter is actually just about one of our favorite Huffleclaws, Sarah Price, is traumatized in Hogsmede 🤷♀️ Neil makes an appearance and honestly it's just all we've been wishing for. Teenage boys are stupid (surprise? 🤔) and Adam has had enough of Slughorn's shenanigans.
Chapter 11: Hermione's Helping Hand - Let's take a moment to think about the irony of Adam, Tara and Ashley discussing sports. We also discuss how awful it would be to teach Preschool and that wizard preschool would be absolutely out of the question. (here is also where Tara openly acknowledges that she spoke the words "way more better" in this episode and must admit that she hadn't had alcohol yet 🤦♀️). We meet Cormac McLaggen, aka, a whiskey that Ashley would not want to drink..and we agree ...
Chapter 10: The House of Gaunt - Dumble and Harry go on a weird field trip and Adam shares some tarot knowledge. Also movie Dumble is way too interested in teenagers' love lives...
Chapter 9: The Half Blood Prince - Sass. Dick swinging. Terrible pedagogy. Lack of common sense. It must be a new year at Hogwarts.
Chapter 8: Snape Victorious - This is a classic Snitches episode in which we drink a lot and talk about how Snape is the worst.. also, we discuss the possible connection between Tonks' new patronus and Sirius. Where are Dumbledore's fancy gloves? And did you know that Slughorn lives in Bilbo Baggins? 😂🤦♀️
Chapter 7: The Slug Club - Basically this episode is us continuing our general "Draco really sucks" rant 🤷♀️ Also we decide that nobody gets to tell Harry FREAKING Potter that his friends aren't cool 😡
Hey Snitches, Trigger Warning on this episode as we break away from our regular chapter discussion to speculate on the mental health of our favorite (and not so favorite) wizards. Roxana is back to share some of her expertise as a licensed social worker. If discussing mental health may be triggering for you, please skip this episode and we'll be back with you next week! Take care of yourselves ❤️❤️
Chapter 6: Draco's Detour - Harry and Co. are back on their "not minding their own business" bullshit. Draco is still in his "I'm a terrible bully" bullshit and the Weasley twins are thriving on their regular - now profitable - bullshit. Also, having Roxana with us is the best ❤️
Chapter 5: An Excess of Phlegm - Here's a reminder that PrincessPickle69 hates French people... 🙄 We discuss how Harry learns some new info on his future -laws, girls are brats, and Ginny is sassy. We play Tara's actual least favorite game and decide that Julia Child invented French food.
Chapter 4: Horace Slughorn - We are unprepared. Shout out to HPST for our solution (in which we were also terribly unsuccessful). So we meet Slughorn. That dude is weird and a bit creepy. Harry is sassy (so much sassy Harry in this book!) and Dumble continues to NOT TELL HARRY WTF IS GOING ON 🙄 But we finally get Jim Broadbent in the movie, which is delightful... they definitely got Harry WAY wrong (insert Tara ranting about character inconsistencies) but, we actually quite love the rest of the...
Chapter 3: Will and Won't - This chapter is not actually about Harry getting cockblocked in a coffee shop. Sassy Dumble is here. Vernon is terrible. Dudley is understandably uncomfortable (another reminder that Dudley has been traumatized by wizards and magic!). Also, what are housecoats anyway?
Chapter 2: Spinner's End - Sassy Snape is here!! Bellatrix is a dumbass. Snape is sassy. Wormtail is...there. Also... margaritas.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Chapter 1: The Other Minister - We are here, friends. BOOK 6! How did this happen? Magic 🤷♀️ We start this book off in the muggle world, like usual, but not with the Dursleys! The muggle Prime Minister meets with his least favorite (ours, too, Prime Minister, ours too...) wizard politician then he gets to meet a lion. We learn that Fudge has (FINALLY) been sacked and after post recording research (and asking the people who I knew would know), we have lea...
Hey Snitches, season 6 is coming your way starting NEXT WEEK! If you haven't had a chance to listen to our special pre-season Back to Hogwarts special, check it out! Meanwhile, enjoy a minute or so of what's coming at you starting next week! Catch you 9/21/22 for the first official episode of Snitches season 6 where we talk about chapter 1 of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, The Other Minister
Happy season 6, Snitches! And happy Back to Hogwarts Day!!! Even though we're not *quite* ready to launch our chapter by chapter discussion of Half Blood Prince quite yet, we could not leave you lonely on this special day! So...we have asked our lovely friend, Ravenclaw Alex Petsche, to talk to us about our favorite Harry- Daniel Radcliffe - and all things non-Harry that he's been up to ❤️
To finish off season 5, we give you another cutting room floor! Are we as funny as we think we are? Yes. Yes we are 😂
Book 5 wrap up! We finished this reeeeaaaaallllyyyyyy long book!!! So long, Umbitch!
Chapter 38: The Second War Begins - The final chapter of OotP and Brian is with us again!!! We discuss Harry's good intentions and the horrible results of being too cautious, how terrible Draco continues to be, the ridiculousness of the Hogwarts points systems (where Drunk Tara strikes again 🤦♀️🙄But I guess at least she's confident?), And just how incredibly SAD this chapter is...
Chapter 37: The Lost Prophecy - Dumble is finally giving Harry some answers. This chapter is fraught with emotions and irony. We will say it again - Wizards need so much therapy.
Today, we do a deep dive into the Hogwarts curriculum with Jill Grunenwald & Sydney Kalnay Spoiler - Hogwarts' curriculum is garbage 🤷♀️
Chapter 36: The Only One He Ever Feared - Soooo, Harry goes off on Bellatrix, gets possessed and then passes out. Dumbledore proves that the gays are the most powerful force on the planet and we discuss the dubious consent in Voldy and Bella's relationship. We also learn where Draco gets his bullying skills.. from his aunt Bellatrix, who is terrible.. (also, note that Tara misspoke and referred to Sirius as Draco's uncle instead of his cousin).
Chapter 35: Beyond the Veil - So...heads up, the end of this chapter is SAD... Adam and Tara discuss the new things we see as we dive deeper into the Department of Mysteries, as well as the skills (or lack of) the 11+ death eaters who are kind of losing against 6 teenagers 🤷♀️ Bellatrix is arguably the second worst villain in the series and, while HBC is brilliant in the role in the movies, it's a bit uncomfortable that so many people love her... because she's pretty terrible, guys. Our game t...
Chapter 34: The Department of Mysteries - We open with a rant. Time to dismantle the patriarchy... and also mind your business thanks very much. Adam reveals his expertise in horse breeds. We spend a lot of time speculating on the policies of security at the Ministry and the (incredibly obvious) 6-2-4-4-2 code. Honestly the Ministry of Magic does not make sense. There is also a fairly dark discussion on the properties of the veil and why it draws Harry and Luna towards it and scares Hermione. Wh...
