Chapter 33: Fight and Flight - We are all over the place in this one...so buckle in, Snitches. It's celebration time! The Sagittariuses (Sagittari?) take out pink bitch!!!! How do the silver trio and Ron get away from the Nazi youths? Not clear. Guess it's not important. Now let's fly to London and don't worry if you can't see the horse you're going to fly on. 😳
Chapter 32: Out of the Fire - We have been saying it for weeks... IT'S GO TIME! Only, this really is go time! A lot of really great discussion in this one...complete with more of us filling in our completely canon backstory on Grubbly-Plank 😂 We phone in the movie portion again, discuss the qualities (or lack of qualities) of rice pudding, and have a short quiz.
Chapter 31: OWLS - Yay. Standardized tests 🙄 Adam gives us some study tips and we discuss the effectiveness of each of the Hogwarts teachers. We are both shocked as we realize that Ron is suddenly the most sensible one in the group and we confirm that Lichtenstein is indeed a real place and not a Tolkien creation.
Chapter 30: Grawp (The Grawps) - This episode is dedicated to Chad. Fred and George are still heroes and pink demon is slowly losing control of the student body. We go off the rails a bit but mostly this episode is about sports and ***The Grawps*** Also, Hagrid has shockingly not accidentally killed Harry in the 5 years they've known each other... 😬😬😬 Even though we are not sports people we're super happy for Ron for a successful Quidditch cup win at the end of the chapter!!!...
Chapter 29: Career Advice - Brian is back!!! We discuss how Snape and Umbitch are horrible teachers and how McG is amazing and we give major friend points to the twins and Ginny.
Chapter 28: Snape's Worst Memory - Adam has a new nickname for Umbridge!!! Sarah is back and we discuss the interrogation methods of Pink chode and the convenient lack of clarity surrounding the science of occlumeny (because plot). James Potter was an asshole but also don't turn into your bullies... SNAPE 😒 Soooo... what is the dress code for under your robe?
Chapter 27: The Centaur and the Sneak- It's time for another Ravenclaw to join us! We have mimosas, we laugh a lot, we play FMK (Umbridge always dies) and we all determine that Dumble is a badass in this chapter.
Chapter 26: Seen and Unforseen - Somehow we are sober and we manage to sound outrageously drunk... More discussion of awkward teen romance and about how awesome Ginny is. Also, nobody cares about Quidditch... 🤷♀️ So much bullying is happening.. from students AND teachers.. 😒 Ashley - where is our rubarb crumble? Also, what is that one instrument? Mail delivery time should maybe be reevaluate. Tara has a hot take on occlumeny. Pink Devil is losing her shit and when she thinks she's about to ra...
Chapter 25: The Beetle at Bay - Time for another Snape rant from Tara! Adam gives his notes from the last two episodes. Teenagers are bad at romance. Also, Valentine's Day is bullshit.
The time has come for us to discuss the ridiculous, hilarious and somewhat problematic A Very Potter Musical! Y'all, it's a wild one!
Chapter 24: Occlumency - sadly, Adam is not here this episode, but Dan brings the no pants energy! Editing Adam does make an appearance and Arthur Weasley is promoted to Qwen (Keng?) status 😁
Chapter 23: Christmas on the Closed Ward - Y'all, it's in the title 🤷♀️
Chapter 22: St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries - somehow, despite not being present in this chapter, we managed to get in several digs at everyone's least favorite pink hoe... We focus a lot more on the Weasleys in this chapter and continue to lament that the movie leaves out entirely too much. Lastly, we play an epic round of Oh, Ship and Jeff makes Basic Snitches history.
Chapter 21: The Eye of the Snake - We are loud. Hagrid is back from his sex holiday with Qwen Maxime. Giants need dentists too... Check out our new tiers on Patreon!!
Chapter 20: Hagrid's Tale - Giants are honestly just really big dumb angry babies. Hagrid and Maxime spent the last several months fucking and trying to win favor with the giant babies. Pink bitch continues to be the worst and we are over that K-word
Chapter 19: The Lion and the Serpent - Malfoy sucks... But also, Fred and George are bad brothers and terrible team players. Hermione and Luna are amazing and the pink bitch must die.
Dear reviewers: Stop being pretentious assholes! Signed, People who like romance novels and fantasy stories. This week we are joined by Tara's other co-hosts, AJ and Jen from Podcast in Death. We bring a PID favorite to Basic Snitches as we review the reviews (good AND bad) for the HP series.
Chapter 18: Dumbledore's Army - Important question.. why is it only one year olds that get smash cakes for their birthday? We are all Winky. We drink and we get sad... well at least Tara does... We all need a Room of Requirement...get on that, magical community!
Chapter 17: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four - Tara and Adam discuss their theories on Professor Binns then share their own strengths as students. Snape > Umbridge Also, apparently the gargoyles can talk.. and they are rude bitches. And Grubbly-Plank has officially reached Qwen status!!
Chapter 16: In the Hog's Head - ZACH SMIIIIIIIIITH!!!!! Also, please stop vanishing animals, thanks.
Chapter 15: The Hogwarts High Inquisitor Tara comes up with more perfect names to call Pink bitch. Adam's computer screen is very bright. Surprise, Tara rants about how terrible Snape is. McG is the greatest. So, are you a Tarot bitch, or a Tara bitch? A lot of love for Grubbly-Plank in this episode ❤
HAPPY SNITCHMAS, BITCHES! or whatever you celebrate or just for being you Enjoy!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Chapter 14: Percy and Padfoot- Cho is great. Hedwig is great. Ron is really great. Percy sucks... ...but not as much as Umbridge...
Chapter 13: Detention With Dolores - So basically this chapter is all about torture, bad teachers and how great Ron is in this book. We cheer hard for Grubbly-Plank, even though we miss Hagrid, and we cheer even more for Ron for making the Quidditch team. We play Never Have I Ever and, to no one's surprise, Adam has never received detention in his life... 🙄
In this special episode we discuss all the ways Hogwarts would fail an OSHA inspection... If you've never thought about it before, we provide you with a lengthy list of proof that Hogwarts is trying to kill you.
Chapter 12: Professor Umbridge - Chinese food is on its way and we're adding liquor to our alcohol... This podcast was almost called "Have a Biscuit, Potter" after McG's amazing line in this chapter. We complain about Harry's least favorite teachers (who are coincidentally Tara and Adam's least favorite teachers...), Bentley attempts to steal Tara's car and Adam teaches us about Moonstone. Oh..and Umbridge SUCKS.
Chapter 11: The Sorting Hat's New Song - We made it to the start of term feast!!! The Sorting Hat has upped its game this year. We complain about Pink Bitch, praise Neville, Ron and Hermione for being awesome, and gush over the perfection that is Imelda Staunton. Oh, Ship! We play a new game and Adam shares more witchey knowledge while comparing the 4 houses to the elements.
Chapter 10: Luna Lovegood - IT IS TIME ❤️ We finally get to meet Qwen Luna and we are so happy! We play the worst game ever and Brian ana Tara eat breakfast while Bentley tries to steal Brian's shirt.
Chapter 9: The Woes of Mrs. Weasley - Just so everyone is aware, Chapter 8 is very important to Tara... Shout-out to Ashley... basically because we love her. Percy sucks. Fudge sucks. Kreacher is rude.
Chapter 8: The Hearing - Pink Bitch sighting!!! We got the egg rolls and Dumble's got the flourish. Madam Bones is Qwen and Fudgepacker is still the worst.
