Our Bastards are hot on the heels of the bandits who stole their only chance at leaving this trash station. ..A Battery! THE Battery! The only one that'll get them outta here. With the help of Rads, the Rak, they may just be able to steal it and be back in time for a cheeky ten top. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Special Featured Guest/Rads -- The REAL Trevor! Episode art by Dan...
Jul 22, 2021•1 hr 58 min•Season 2Ep. 5
The Bastards are FINALLY kicking back and eatin' snacks, when Boris calls with a problem. That problem turns into a midnight adventure, and the Bastards, dare we say, make a new... friend? Hope they make it to the next day, there's armor to collect! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Special Featured Guest/Rads -- The REAL Trevor! Episode art by Bodie Ambiance sound support by Jamie...
Jul 16, 2021•1 hr 33 min•Season 2Ep. 4
Under Boris' leadership, The Bastards have arrived at a moon made entirely out of trash. What brings them here? The quest for sauce and new outfits, of course! Something unique and something that will keep our Bastards alive longer, Glob we know they need it. Throw a battery or ten in there, while you're at it. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by Bodie Ambiance sound s...
Jul 08, 2021•1 hr 50 min•Season 2Ep. 3
HECK! The crew has just barely made it past The Shattered Wall- and they find themselves in immediate danger. They must now provide tribute to their new honored friends, or face the void of space alone. Well, surely The Bastards- extreme lovers of treats, merchandise and birthdays- can accomplish this feat.. Right? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Episode art by Bodie Ambiance sou...
Jul 01, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Season 2Ep. 2
Cleo and Ze race to get out of Zarg Moon territory before the New Terran forces blockade the entire sector. Aboard their starship the Grey Dragon, powered by an A.I called Reese, and piloted by the Zargian hero Trevor, The Bastards make a dash for it. And oh, Boris is there too! We wouldn't want to forget Boris. Ya never know when he may come in handy. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matt...
Jun 24, 2021•1 hr 48 min•Season 2Ep. 1
Welcome back for Part 2 of The Dead Song! Join the Bastards this week with Lucas Duff to find out what will happen to our heroes, on their second long-awaited adventure with The Replicant! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite as Nelvin -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Guest DM and Sound Editing by -- Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven Dice Episode art by Agustín Marceillac Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth ...
Jun 09, 2021•1 hr 50 min•Season 1Ep. 52
Join The Bastards this week for a reunion! Both with the fantastic Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven Dice, and his unforgettable NPC, The Replicant. He takes us out deep into Midspace for another horror sci-fi adventure from which we can only hope to return.. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite as Nelvin -- Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews Guest DM and Sound Editing by -- Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven Dice Episode art by Agustín ...
Jun 02, 2021•1 hr 17 min•Season 1Ep. 51
We've made it to the end of a story arc! Heck yeah! So where to now? what "shinys" await? And how do we all feel? We have come a long, long way since that cantina in Midspace. Well, in this 'State of the Podcast' episode, we chat about all of these things as we reminisce over the last year of shows and adventures. Pull up a chair and join us! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus...
May 26, 2021•50 min•Season 1Ep. 50
After the ringing stops, there are decisions to be made. Floating in a sea of actual Orbital Refuse, our heroes find themselves reuniting. Come aboard to find out the fate of Clan Zarg, their moon, Larkey, and heck- the Bastards themselves. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen Episode art by Max Behrens Ambiance sound support by Jami...
May 20, 2021•1 hr 41 min•Season 1Ep. 49
The Bastards find themselves caught in a war, but they still have their wits, their guns, and BEAR CLAW! This isn't a situation where phoning a friend might save the day, but Herry won't let that stop him. It's also not a day for weak stomachs. So clearly, it must be time for some soup. Can our Bastards survive? or better question yet, will everyone else survive? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Dani...
May 13, 2021•2 hr 6 min•Season 1Ep. 48
Surely against such great odds, our Bastards won't be able to turn the tide of battle? Well the stakes are high, the time is now, and the Jelly, the Bear and the old man are ready to find out! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen Episode art by @PenOfSmiting Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Cas...
Apr 29, 2021•1 hr 56 min•Season 1Ep. 47
Meanwhile in a flagship prison cell... The Bastards put all three of their brain cells (ok Dr. Ze put all three of his brain cells) together for the second most daring prison break attempt they've ever attempted! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen Episode art by @PenOfSmiting Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi ...
Apr 23, 2021•1 hr 53 min•Season 1Ep. 46
Deep in the belly of the Terran Flagship brig, our Bastards find themselves stripped of weapons and hope. ..Or at least that is what their captors are led to believe. Still in possession of the universal explosive remote- our trio starts planning their break out, and raising hell. Turns out, you can't easily disarm hope. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth ...
Apr 15, 2021•1 hr 33 min•Season 1Ep. 45
The skirmish rages on as Larkey's forces draw nearer to the castle - and the real fight flickers on the horizon. The Bastards have made their repairs, packed their bags, and the plan weaves between them as favors are called in and a small, sneaking surprise unfolds - like a tiny stone in one's shoe - as a peaceful surrender is placed right into Larkey's eager hands... Wonder what the catch is? Watch out for those little stones, adventurer. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard ...
Apr 07, 2021•2 hr•Season 1Ep. 44
Every Bastard has made it to the Zarg Castle. They've had a few moments to reflect on their fragile mortality, and now they must prepare for the inevitable. Will it be a siege? Another betrayal? An all-out war? The way things have been going, it is hard to say for sure. But for now, this night, they are all together. Preparing their defenses, painting their projectiles, and calling in some favors from a few old friends... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo d...
Mar 25, 2021•1 hr 35 min•Season 1Ep. 43
The Bastards gather in the name of their fallen comrade, precariously balanced on the edge of survival, and the edge of their friendship with Clan Zarg. They've fought many battles together now- destroyed many fine places, crushed many frothy brews, but the revelation of Herodotus' deal fell hard. The stark truth of the Imperial Armada and a possible Kraw Alliance after all that has befallen. With the bright memory of the poison on their lips - It is Dr. Ze who must now unite them all, on a dang...
Mar 19, 2021•1 hr 36 min•Season 1Ep. 42
Time is ticking, as the poison blooms. Dr. Ze has abandoned his Honey Boy shell, and is racing across the castle on the neck of the chemist. Herry is holding off the entire brute force of the castle army- and Clan Zarg is in disarray as the call for Trevor goes out. It's a mad race to salvage life and limb, and as long as Herodotus can hold 'em off, there's hope for Dr. Ze to get the antidote in time. Or is there? It appears the poison and the ambush weren't the only bones the universe had to ca...
Mar 11, 2021•2 hr 30 min•Season 1Ep. 41
We left Herodotus and Dr. Ze lying in wait in the shopkeeper's inventory room. Ready to Trojan Horse their way into the castle under the disguise of the Kraw shopkeep himself, in an act of stealth. Cleo and Clan Zarg make merry in the town, flashing their selfie sticks, spilling Red Moon Worms, and raising their deep, deep cups. Hold vigil with us, listeners. For the Bastard in the box, The one on the Kraw, and the many bleeding out on the floor. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master R...
Mar 04, 2021•2 hr 9 min•Season 1Ep. 40
Picture if you will, a troupe of hardy adventurers geared in the sharpest armor, carrying secure packs of the most finely crafted weaponry- with minds tuned to one goal, one dream- one fight... They file out of their warship, ready to complete their mission. Prepared to finish this arcane task, having made peace with their gods and their clans. Serene in their readiness for the battle. Marching silently ever onward to the- ...to the fried dough stand? The time is NOW spaceheads! The Bastards and...
Feb 25, 2021•1 hr 42 min•Season 1Ep. 39
Finally back in their own minds after a near spacewalk; our scrappy Bastards warp onward to Zarg Moon and their waiting allies. Here to see the land they mean to free, and meet the rest of the people that mean to free it- the crew drafts a plan, a PowerPoint, a couple hundred bombs - ... And an order of printed nametags? Quick! Somebody call a project manager- these idiots are organizing a WAR. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr...
Feb 18, 2021•1 hr 31 min•Season 1Ep. 38
The Bastards are making their way... towards Firsnear, but it's a long ways to go. So the team kick back and enjoy a few road beers- until Dr. Ze starts getting a call, straight into his mind? Things aren't looking good for our Bastards. Unless Cleo can figure out how to save everyone, from themselves... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl A...
Feb 11, 2021•1 hr 57 min•Season 1Ep. 37
The gang meets up with Herry- but he’s already up to his old man antics. Will his actions slow the party down? Or has he got a plan so crazy that it just might work? Tune in to find out.. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III - Even Mehl Amundsen Episode art by Max Behrens Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Casey @ Wh...
Feb 05, 2021•1 hr 36 min•Season 1Ep. 36
Armed with their new knowledge and their trusty team- Cleo and Dr. Ze head back to the scene of the crime(s) to collect their booty. (Or lose it, depends on where the police and the chefs are.) They have finally made it to the swimming- and the treasures shrouded within. Gather 'round the aluminum pool locker to find out! And pray, that our heroes spirit the seed to space fast enough. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor...
Jan 28, 2021•1 hr 43 min•Season 1Ep. 35
The hunt for Herry continues, as our Bastards slowly uncover the laundry list of things they did while in the thrall of the DRINK. Climb aboard as they run from angry chefs, hack into a stoplight, recover yet another lost friend, and speed through the vast undercity of A6, New Terra. Everything's a clue when you're- Well, when you're anybody but The Bastards. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel M...
Jan 21, 2021•2 hr 9 min•Season 1Ep. 34
Ever wake up from a bender in a slightly different state than when you... Well, than the last thing you remember. Join Cleo and Dr. Ze, in the clothes they didn't remember putting on, as they pull themselves from the mire of a big nite out™, and attempt to make sense of where they've been! Cause Herodotus and the money are missing, friends... And all that's left is haze, and Clan Zarg, in the blurry Tesca Towers. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- T...
Jan 14, 2021•1 hr 55 min•Season 1Ep. 33
Turns out, The Bastards and their new friends are big fans of hotels. They are not big fans, of paying, or answering the phone. Follow our crew through a maze of avoidance, as they sample the wares of their new hideout while the phone rings off the hook because WHO just charged 20 luxury suites to the Urthean Army?? Hurry up and slam that Sandean caviar, boys. We got some 'splainin to doooo. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze...
Jan 07, 2021•2 hr 12 min•Season 1Ep. 32
Dear Bastards, The advice show you never knew you needed. ...Or wanted. (Dear Bastards is an experimental sample segment! Join our team as their Orbital Refuse characters, as they answer questions that YOU sent in, advice column style.) - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Episode art by Taylor van Biljon Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Casey @ Whi...
Dec 25, 2020•35 min
Our customs horror saga continues, with Cleo, Dr. Ze, and the nefarious nineteen of Clan Zarg stuck together in a line. Somewhere, beyond the pearly sterile gates of immigration- Herodotus waters himself liberally in an airport bar. A couple of forms and 436 lies later- our Bastards emerge! Nude, changed, and ready to DESCEND with horrible ferocity and lethal accuracy upon a sunlit morning bistro in the arrivals quarter- for a freedom feast the likes of which the New Terran Astroport has never s...
Dec 24, 2020•2 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 31
Our Bastards have made it across the universe, through multiple galaxies- past, out, and, through the clutches of multiple nefarious agents of doom- aaand straight into the actual fire of border control on the planet known as New Terra. Join our heroes on their most daring adventure yet- as they navigate the winding labyrinth of... IMMIGRATION. (Well, two-thirds of them at least. Herry's probably in duty-free neck-deep in a pretzel dog. Borders, man. Who needs 'em?) - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite ...
Dec 17, 2020•1 hr 43 min•Season 1Ep. 30
After a daring rescue by a mercenary guild- the Bastards board their ship and Herodotus makes a move! Taking down the enemy spacecraft as they negotiate a higher cut- ("negotiate" being a loosely used word) - The Bastards seal the synth factory, get paid big credits, and somehow end up with an armada and an army? Looks like it’s time for some R&R planetside! Where’s the nearest port again? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr ...
Dec 10, 2020•2 hr 22 min•Season 1Ep. 29
