Deep inside the synth body factory, the battle against the honey boy rages on- as a rogue AI takes its wild revenge on our humble travelers. Things start to look up as our team learns to assemble, with the help of Dr. Ze's shiny new body! However, that moment of camaraderie is not enough, and we soon find ourselves reminded why the doctor can never have nice things. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - D...
Dec 03, 2020•2 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 28
Our intrepid explorers venture further into the labyrinthine belly of the body factory- hot on the trail of the... Honey. Well, partially. Dr. Ze is still tracking down his new kicks, and despite a few maps, warnings, and blinking red flags- It looks like our Bastards have chosen to jump in the deep end instead! With guests! Now, who could have seen that coming? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Danie...
Nov 26, 2020•1 hr 37 min•Season 1Ep. 27
Our intrepid team has once again escaped the gaping maw of battle unscathed! Well- Except for Dr. Ze who has lost most of his mechanical body! So, somewhat scathed! Dr. Ze, bravely existing in a... bag of sorts, is ready for a new vessel. And so into synth space, our Bastards go. Home to the highest echelon of synthetic technology and crafting, this should be as easy as stopping station-side to buy supplies. Except that, stopping station-side to buy supplies never does seem to go easily for our ...
Nov 19, 2020•1 hr 55 min•Season 1Ep. 26
This is a story of endings. The ending of the saga of the jelly people and their expensive guano problem. The ending of a great aerial assault! And the ending, of a passionate, sordid affair between lovers. Also the end of a nice cushy future of profiting off of the jelly waste, due to a few of those prior endings. Ah well. At least we got some live cargo out of it! Load up the ship and yeehaw us outta here! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor...
Nov 12, 2020•2 hr 14 min•Season 1Ep. 25
Part 3 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! Turns out, the Prison King and his crew weren’t the only obstacles in between Dr. Ze, Cleo, and those ships. Looks like the guards want to pull up a chair as well. Will Spines get to keep the mech? Will Cleo get her loot back from the cavernous intake room? ...Did they think about the massive bottleneck that’s going to form when every criminal in the prison tries to bust through the unguarded main door after those two single ships? Looks like...
Nov 05, 2020•1 hr 54 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Part 2 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! The Prison King and his weird little army are the only things standing in between Dr. Ze and Cleo’s big escape! The battle lines have been drawn, and our motley crew ventures forth with their improvised weapons. The Prison King’s crew is fierce- and there are only two ships docked. Cleo’s got valuable loot trapped in intake- and the synth chefs are lost in the vents. So there’s only one thing to do. It’s time to make soup. - Starring: DM Dick...
Oct 08, 2020•2 hr 3 min•Season 1Ep. 23
Part 1 of the Cleo and Dr. Ze friendship origin saga! Many years ago in a star system far, far, away- Dr. Ze met Cleo in a backspace high-security prison. Being individuals of such... High creative energy, it was clear that they could not stay interred for long. Zip up yer uniform jumpsuits, troublemakers, cause these criminals are planning a jailbreak- and they're taking as many empty brains along with them as Dr. Ze can grab with a tentacle. Hope nobody's planning on getting in the way... - St...
Sep 24, 2020•2 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 22
We break your regular viewing for an urgent announcement. Eric Rhodes has been sighted! It really is imperative that we derail from the scheduled programming for just a moment, but this is an intergalactic news bulletin that you won't want to miss! - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl Amundsen Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Episode art by Agustín Marceillac Ambiance sound...
Sep 17, 2020•6 min•Season 1Ep. 21
Cleo is gonna blow some ship up! Ze is about to perform surgery, and Herodotus is caught staring at an old Lover. Our Bastards are in a pickle now, but this time they are fighting for the right reasons. Money and Lust! The aerial assault is underway! As usual, The Bastards have left themselves only moments to escape. But Herodotus has brokered his shiny new sand deal- Dr. Ze has found fellowship with these other plasmic beings, and Cleo- well. Cleo has already made a whole clutch of explosives i...
Sep 10, 2020•2 hr 13 min•Season 1Ep. 20
Endeared to the Jelly people by Cleo's love of pterodactyls, The Bastards continue their diplomatic mission from Monty into the secret mountain lair. Touring through the complex labyrinth of the Jelly's home, and sifting through the psychic imagery of their culture (while Dr. Ze sagely blocks Herodotus' "psychic culture" from THEM)- The Bastards find themselves in a familiar pickle. Well grab yerselves one of these flying battledactyls, adventurer, it's been a whole thirty seconds since Cleo nap...
Sep 03, 2020•1 hr 26 min•Season 1Ep. 19
Good ol' Herodotus is bringing home the bacon! Or... Well, he's got a guy for that. Herry's old brother-in-arms from his troopin' days has come calling - and he needs some muscle. Obviously, the Bastards are... A choice. And as per usual, they are in need of credits. Follow them on their journey to the planet Sand to meet Monty, and find out what exactly he needs them to do in these here iron hills... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Herodotus Arthurion Mendler...
Aug 26, 2020•2 hr 15 min•Season 1Ep. 18
It's been a long string of journeys- and our Bastards have earned a short rest to recap and catch up, both in-game and out. Want more content like this? Join the Patreon for more exclusive episodes and behind-the-scenes antics. (Including our FIRST complete DnD5e campaign RHALLORAN, and our second show, SIDEARM! A chat series, just like this!) - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl Amundsen Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Bilj...
Aug 12, 2020•33 min•Season 1Ep. 17
Continuing the two-part sci-fi CREEPSHOW of corporate decay and mysterious patrons. Guest DM Lucas Duff continues to lead The Bastards through the dark hallways of an abandoned factory, looking for.. A body? Hopefully they are the only ones looking.. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Featuring Guest DM AND Sound Editing: Lucas Duff of Ballad of the Seven Dice Episode art by Lucas Duff ...
Jul 30, 2020•1 hr 22 min•Season 1Ep. 16
Join us and DM Lucas from Ballad of the Seven Dice as we begin to trek into a dangerous abandoned research station to look for a body. It shouldn't be that hard, right? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra - Daniel Matthews Featuring Guest DM AND Sound Editing: Lucas Duff of Ballad of the Seven Dice Episode art by Taylor van Biljon Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi Synth Music Karl Ca...
Jul 29, 2020•1 hr 8 min•Season 1Ep. 15
The PARTY RAGES ON with the third and final event in our birthday saga. The time of the laser tag and the bowling has passed. The carnage left in those great theatres of battle was only a shade of the struggle in this quest for the one warp coil. And now in this, the final hour- behind the pizza-slick shroud of RANGO™® the deceiver of Bengaman's- our fellowship gathers in the neon light of an arcade and our man of no name but of many birthdays is challenged to a dance-off. (Yo! Bastards! It was ...
Jul 23, 2020•1 hr 21 min•Season 1Ep. 14
The Birthdaying continues with PART TWO of the saga! Cleo, Dr. Ze, and their new compatriot "the man with no name" are reeling in tickets and getting close to not being invited back. They've bested the laser tag arena- and have moved on to BOWLING straight through the next wholesome alien family. When will it end? (Never. Birthday FOREVER. Get those tokens, kids. Daddy needs a new warp coil.) (Yo! Bastards! It was DM Dick Dynamite's™ ACTUAL REAL LIFE BIRTHDAY, so us Bastards put our magical frie...
Jul 16, 2020•1 hr 16 min•Season 1Ep. 13
Did somebody say... BIRTHDAY? Herodotus is busy bonding with the ovum - so Cleo and the Doctor are OUT! Join them as their ship breaks down at Bengaman's FamilyFun Milkshake and Mindgames Emporium - a battleground that one of our Bastards knows far too well... (Yo! Bastards! It was DM Dick Dynamite's™ ACTUAL REAL LIFE BIRTHDAY, so us Bastards put our magical friend rings together and summoned DM SETH™ from neighboring podcast, Cheaper by the Dungeon to take his place so that HE COULD PLAY! Tune ...
Jul 09, 2020•1 hr 52 min•Season 1Ep. 12
After all that splittin', the party is back together! And now that we're all here, it's time for some classics. Cleo's nearly gone and blown herself up again, Herodotus is grandstanding in honor of his ovular son, and Dr. Ze is hiding in a hallway somewhere doing the real heavy lifting. You can expect a destroyed ship or two, some friendly fire, AND REESE'S SHINY NEW PAINT JOB! (Please remain seated and engage your gravity control mechanism while hearing about it. As per usual, it is out of this...
Jul 03, 2020•1 hr 55 min•Season 1Ep. 11
The hunt for the egg continues as the Bastards "stealth" through the enemy base. In between the splitting of the party, the massive firefight, and all of the ...questionable choices- will the young ovum ever make its way back onto Reese? Will the Bastards get a chance to be a family again? Or will this rescue op end on the roof of this base- surrounded by enemy fire, as an escape ship hovers precariously above their heads... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Her...
Jun 25, 2020•1 hr 49 min•Season 1Ep. 10
All of the Bastards and their newfound compatriots have gathered back at the ship and are about to set out on a... mission of stealth? Can they do it? Can they still the urge to yell an insult, toss a grenade, or, unsheath an energy blade? Either way, they're on the trail, deep into an enemy base- to retrieve their lost loot... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl Amundsen Cleo deCap -- Taylor van Biljon Dr Ze/Doctor ...
Jun 18, 2020•1 hr 26 min•Season 1Ep. 9
Our intrepid collectors of crap, Cleo and Dr. Ze, continue buying up the station- while the ever noble Herodotus Arthurian Mendleroth the THIRD, gets a bit too saucy on wraith attention and.. And? Loses something of great import.. That's right, space cowboys. Hang up your shopping and pile into the rover, we may not know what's in it- but this split party has a heading, and it's OVULAR. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even...
Jun 11, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 8
IT'S TIME TO GO SHOPPING. The Bastards have warped on out to a busy little border town on the edge of synth space. Garcia Station, (named for our new Patron, Fernando Garcia!), is home to all manner of shady folk and obscure doings... And it is here that we make our scene, and set about emptying wallets. Or collecting ill-gotten goods, whatever. Every girl really should have a mobile turret gun, you know? - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Herodotus Arthurion Men...
Jun 04, 2020•1 hr 35 min•Season 1Ep. 7
WOOP WOOP that’s the sound of the... local synth authorities? The Bastards have made contact with Hans, are making contact with the unhappy locals- and are likely about to make contact with the armored, hulking command ship idling in the distance. Can our intrepid travelers survive another showdown before Reese falls to pieces? Better grab a turret while they’re still attached... - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kimber-Bell Herodotus Arthurion Mendleroth III -- Even Mehl A...
May 21, 2020•1 hr 49 min•Season 1Ep. 6
After a SECOND narrow station escape, our Bastards have finally dropped into contested space. Buckled in with their crate of credits, a mildly jostled but intact mystery charge, and a creaking but still cruising ship- things are looking promising, at long last. Except- a planetary body may be approaching in the front-illuminated by the faint glow of an enemy armada from behind, and the inscrutable, perfect dark of a twisting figure, not in front, or behind- ..but everywhere. And it hungers...HOL...
May 13, 2020•1 hr 22 min•Season 1Ep. 5
Armed to the teeth after a quick getaway- egg and briefcase of credits in hand- the Bastards are set to warp! Ahem. However, it does appear that our intrepid pilot, Herodotus, has left some personal effects station side and needs to turn back. If y'all weren't strapped to your seats before, then you'd best cinch your corpse holsters while you can because we are TURNING THIS SHIP AROUND... As soon as... We get rid of D.E.E.T.Z? Midspace, we (may) have a problem. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the D...
May 07, 2020•1 hr 20 min•Season 1Ep. 4
Our trio's subterranean adventure continues, as they barely escape a brush with fate, in the form of a mutated cavern beast. They quickly learn that not all tentacles are to be trusted! (But they can be blown off. Some laws are universal.) It turns out, that their hunt has been fruitful in more ways than one! They have located their mysterious flying quarry underneath the.. Trash pile... And shall henceforth know that it shall be called R.E.E.S.E.! And Reese is happy to see them, the expected vi...
Apr 30, 2020•1 hr 46 min•Season 1Ep. 3
The Bastards are now three, and they've got a job to do. Picked up by local kingpin D.E.E.T.Z.; Cleo, Dr. Ze, and Herodotus are headed into the bowels of Mid space to bring back a... Well, they didn't really read the manifest. But they'll know when they find it... Right? Jump down into this hole with our... Heroes... And find out if that smell is garbage or Cleo, what's just brushed up against Dr. Ze's leg- and if Herodotus really is the battle master that he claims... Because today, for the fir...
Apr 22, 2020•1 hr 15 min•Season 1Ep. 2
Our adventure begins. Our scene is the Midspace star station. A long-forgotten diplomatic hub torn between three warring empires. In a shady saloon, we meet an Ursine, a jellyfish in a bowl, and an aging imperialist downing drinks. They're offending synthetics, and badly negotiating the price of a scrap run for the local saloon kingpin's anonymous benefactor. Come see what they find in the bowels of Midspace- or rather, what finds THEM. - Starring: DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master Richard Kim...
Apr 15, 2020•1 hr 26 min•Season 1Ep. 1
Ursine demolitions expert Cleo DeCap and the Robotic/aquatic Doctor Ze are in search of an easy payout on the hulking space station, Midspace. Located in the center of this galaxy, Midspace station is lawless, corrupt, dangerous, and... A great place to make a buck! It’s here that our Bastards dwell, in search of a big score... The Bastards are BACK, and officially in orbit! We know you’ve all had enough of being gravity-bound- so we’re kicking this joint for a new star system. Join the same mot...
Apr 08, 2020•1 hr 37 min
The Bastards are BACK, and officially in orbit! We know you’ve all had enough of being gravity-bound- so we’re kicking this joint for a new star system. Join the same motley crew for new stories, new characters, a brand new universe, and all-new game mechanics designed by our very own DM Dragon Daddy Dick Dynamite. So buckle your EVA suits to yer control decks- cause a bear and a jellyfish just landed in the station and this PILOT is taking you on a RIIIIIDE! - Ambiance sound support by Jamie No...
Apr 07, 2020•57 sec
