Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting - podcast cover

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productionswww.drlisadamour.com
“Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting” is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.   Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr. lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Episodes

94: My Clingy Teen Hates Going to School. How Do I Help?

A parent writes in asking for help for their teen who feels intensely anxious about going to school and interacting with adults outside the home. Dr. Lisa explains that the need to stay close to home during the height of the pandemic has made it hard for many young people to spread their wings now. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the root causes of clinginess and separation anxiety and how those causes can differ depending on a child's age. Their conversation addresses what adults can do now to help ...

Nov 15, 202233 minSeason 1Ep. 94

93: Should I Monitor My Kid’s Grades Online?

Grades can be a source of family anxiety and stress, and online grading portals can make the situation both better and worse. A dad writes in asking how parents and kids can better manage online grades. Reena explains that she gets pinged on email every time her kids' grades are posted and Dr. Lisa has surprising advice for parents in the same boat. Dr. Lisa explains the upsides and downsides of having access to online grades, and how families can use these systems to help kids become more indep...

Nov 08, 202236 minSeason 1Ep. 93

92: I’m Not Ready for My Kid to Be in Love. Help!

How should we talk to our kids about what it means to fall in love? Parents know how good it can feel to make a strong connection and be on the receiving end of affection, but we also want to shield kids from heartbreak. Dr. Lisa helps walks us through how we can talk with our kids about both the emotional and physical sides of love, while Reena asks key questions about how to deal with the fact that these conversations are often uncomfortable for both parents and kids. Dr. Lisa explains how we ...

Nov 01, 202229 min

91: My Kid Hates Being A Late Bloomer. How Can I Help?

How can we support kids who feel uncomfortable about the timing of puberty? A parent writes in asking what to say to a late bloomer who feels out of step with her peers. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on what it means to reach puberty early - or late - and how this differs depending on gender. Reena and Dr. Lisa address whether there's such a thing as perfectly timed puberty, and how to talk about the changes that come with puberty in ways that won't send tweens and teens running for the hills. T...

Oct 25, 202233 minSeason 1Ep. 91

90: Should My Kid Play Violent Video Games?

Do violent video games normalize violence? A parent whose son becomes more aggressive with his sisters after playing certain games writes in asking for advice. Is it best to pull the plug on games like Fortnite and Grand Theft Auto, even if they're important to a boy's social life? Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on how violent video games affect kids and offers guidelines to consider. Reena asks how old kids should be if they are going to play video games and describes how allowing her son to pla...

Oct 18, 202233 minSeason 1Ep. 90

89: How Do I Get My Teen To Take Charge of Her Life?

How do we help teens take ownership of their lives, especially if they are feeling overwhelmed by all that adults are asking of them? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can move from nagging teens to seeing themselves as teachers who help teens become increasingly independent. The conversation also details the important role of adults outside the home, and the one thing Dr. Lisa has seen transform even the most reluctant teens into young people who can advocate for themselves. Follow us on Instagram,...

Oct 11, 202231 minSeason 1Ep. 89

88: How Do I Get My Son to Give Up Pot?

How do you help a teen who won't stop smoking marijuana? When does a family need to step in? A mom writes in asking for help for her son who has been caught smoking marijuana both at school and at home. Dr. Lisa explains what parents should know about substance abuse, and Reena asks how best to explain the risks of marijuana to kids, especially in light of widespread legalization. The conversation also covers the concept of “self-medicating” and why some kids think it’s okay to use marijuana to ...

Oct 04, 202232 minSeason 1Ep. 88

87: Do I Really Have to Send My Tween to Sleepovers?

A parent who hates sleepovers writes in to ask if they are really necessary. Dr. Lisa and Reena weigh the social costs of not allowing kids to host or attend sleepovers and what parents can do instead. They also address the clear parameters that can reduce the downsides of sleepovers, raise concerns parents may not have thought of, and detail the kinds of conversations parents might have with their kids if sleepovers are going to be allowed. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedI...

Sep 27, 202233 minSeason 1Ep. 87

86: How Do I Pay For College Without Going Broke? Special Guest: Author Ron Lieber

College can be incredibly expensive, so how should parents think about covering the cost? What do we say to our kids about what we can, or are willing, to pay? How do you make the most of 529 plans? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle these questions and more with special guest Ron Lieber, author of The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Roadmap for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make. Resources from Ron Lieber Ron Lieber on 529 plans: A Tax Strategy for 529 College Savings A...

Sep 20, 202249 minSeason 1Ep. 86

85: My Kids Lose it When They Make Sports Mistakes. How Can I Help?

When kids get stuck or fall apart while playing sports, what should parents do? Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool, and explains a key change in thinking can help kids manage when they make mistakes. She and Reena also discuss how to help kids appreciate the importance of being team players and the fact that kids rarely improve in sports they've stopped enjoying. Reena asks about whether we should push kids to stick with sports they’re not good at, and Dr. Lisa explains the...

Sep 13, 202232 minSeason 1Ep. 85

84: How Do I Encourage My Tween to Drop a Bad Friendship?

Friends are supposed to make you feel better, but what about when kids have "friends" who leave them feeling awful? How do you help tweens and teens identify when a friendship has become toxic and gracefully remove themselves without becoming socially isolated? Reena and Dr. Lisa discuss how to handle tricky friendships, how to help kids create distance without being hurtful, and how to make sure that kids don't have all of their friendships eggs in one basket. Dr. Lisa also explains what not to...

Sep 06, 202231 minSeason 3Ep. 84

83: How Do I Get My Teen to Take School Seriously?

After more than two years of pandemic-related disruption, there's a lot riding on this school year. But what do you do if your kid doesn't seem to care about grades or how things are going academically? How can adults get kids to self-motivate and without micro-managing? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how parents can get kids to take school seriously, what kind of support is most useful, and the most common mistake adults make when trying to help students get back on track at school. In Parenting to...

Aug 30, 202233 minSeason 3Ep. 83

The Danger Zone on Insta

Join Dr. Lisa and Reena live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 22nd, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions.

Jun 21, 20222 minSeason 1Ep. 84

Summer Instagram Lives!

Dr. Lisa and Reena have an update. Join them live with your parenting questions this Weds, June 8th, 1pm EST on the @asklisapodcast Instagram live handle. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @Lisa.Damour, @ReenaNinan Check out Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources. Ask Lisa is produced by Good Trouble Productions.

Jun 07, 20222 minSeason 1Ep. 83

82: How Should Kids Spend Summer 2022?

Dr. Lisa runs down the five things she believes parents should focus on in summer 2022. The pandemic narrowed kids' opportunities for growth, but there's now a lot adults can do to help children and teenagers catch up. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss advice that might seem counterintuitive - such as the importance of encouraging kids to take some risks. Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resources 50 Risks to Take With Your Kids: A Guide to Building Resilience and Independence in the First 10 Years by Daisy Turnbull ...

May 24, 202233 minSeason 2Ep. 82

81: Why Is Our Kid Being So Mean to Us?

How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age-appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also teaches them what’s acceptable in the real world. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Link...

May 17, 202233 minSeason 1Ep. 81

80: Should I Push My Child Out of the Nest?

How much should we shield our kids from risk? And how much should we go out of our way to make their lives more comfortable? Dr. Lisa explains the importance of fostering independence and encouraging our children to take safe risks. Reena asks if we should try to make our kids' lives easier when we can, especially given all that they have gone through in the pandemic. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how much distress we should allow our kids to tolerate and when we should offer support. Follow us on ...

May 10, 202233 minSeason 2Ep. 80

79: What Do Parents Need to Know about Suicide?

What causes a child or teenager to become suicidal? What steps can be taken to prevent suicide? Dr. Jonathan B. Singer co-author of Suicide in Schools: A Practitioner's Guide to Multi-level Prevention, Assessment, Intervention, and Postvention joins the Ask Lisa podcast to answer questions from parents. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask about warning signs, whether peers can promote suicidal thoughts, when to be concerned about possible suicidality, and what to do. Additional resources: American Foundation...

May 03, 202250 minSeason 2Ep. 79

78: My Daughter’s Nude Selfie Got Out. What Do We Do Now?

A parent writes in asking how to pick up the pieces after her daughter shared a nude selfie with a boyfriend who then sent it to other boys at school. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about how impulsive moments can lead to serious consequences, what can be done to make things right, and the legal implications of sharing nude photos. The episode also addresses what to say to kids about requesting, sending, or unexpectedly receiving nude photos, and the simple--but often overlooked--change to school polic...

Apr 26, 202230 minSeason 2Ep. 78

77 Encore: I Hate Nagging My Kids. What Else Works?

Getting kids to do things without hounding them can seem impossible. This week the Ask Lisa Podcast presents an encore episode on nagging. At what age should kids be expected to manage their responsibilities without constant reminders? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help kids remember to do things on their own. What else works besides nagging? Reena asks for strategies to help parents at home. Lisa introduces us to psychologist Haim Ginott who offers the perfect phrasing for motivating kids. ...

Apr 19, 202228 minSeason 2Ep. 77

76: How and When Do I Tell My Kids Their Grandma is Dying?

How do you deal with grief and explain death to your kids? Knowing that you are losing a parent is difficult but how do you also help your kids process what will be coming? Dr. Lisa explains what kids need at different ages when processing grief and answers a parent’s question on how often kids should visit dying grandparents. Reena asks where parents are most likely to miss the mark when dealing with grief. Dr. Lisa explains why honesty is hugely important, and talks with Reena about how to pre...

Apr 12, 202232 minSeason 2Ep. 76

75: How Do I Help My Teen Deal With College Rejections?

Not getting into desired colleges can be devastating for teens and their parents. How can you help your child move past what feels like a major life setback? Dr. Lisa provides language that might be helpful in navigating this delicate moment. What do you say to friends and neighbors who put teens or their parents in an uncomfortable spot? Reena asks how you can help teens deal with feeling disappointed - and perhaps bitter about where other classmates got in - especially when they’ve put in a lo...

Apr 05, 202232 minSeason 2Ep. 75

74: My Son Messed Up. Can I Keep Him from Being Canceled?

A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can le...

Mar 29, 202228 minSeason 2Ep. 74

73: I Saw My Daughter’s Shocking Texts. Should I Confront Her?

A parent discovers an alarming text about a classmate on her kid's phone and wonders if she should confront her child. How do you address text messages that you were not meant to see? Dr. Lisa walks us though how to weigh your child's safety with the need to build trust. When should you tell a fellow parent if you have intel on their child? Reena wonders why you shouldn’t just pick up the phone and call the other parent. Lisa explains how and when to pass along information about another child wi...

Mar 22, 202231 minSeason 2Ep. 73

72: How Do We Talk to Kids About Justice? Advice from Preet Bharara

How do you teach kids about justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his new children's book, Justice Is...A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. The conversation addresses the many ways adults can inspire young people to fight injustice and defend the truth. Dr. Lisa and Reena ask Preet, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, about his experiences raising his own children, bouncing back from hard times, and the key lessons we shoul...

Mar 15, 202238 minSeason 2Ep. 72

71: My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?

Why do kids suddenly turn on their friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often. Kids need shared interests to hold their groups together and that "social glue" has been depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how negative behavior can emerge among friends and become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean girl behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what kids should do when c...

Mar 08, 202231 minSeason 2Ep. 71

70: Do I Tell My Daughter She’s Beautiful?

A dad writes in asking if it's okay to celebrate his daughter’s appearance and how this might help, or hurt, her self-confidence. How do we help kids feel good about themselves and their bodies, especially when they are bombarded by images on social media that have them worried about their looks? Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about when it's okay to talk about appearance, when it's best to say nothing, and how to handle it when teens present themselves in ways that are not appropriate. Reena asks for ...

Mar 01, 202230 minSeason 2Ep. 70

69 Encore: Lying, Sneaking, Cheating. What Keeps Kids from Being Honest?

Nobody likes being lied to, especially by our own children. Why do kids lie? Dr. Lisa looks at lying from a developmental standpoint and points out that when a child asks for more privacy, it doesn't necessarily mean they’re doing something sneaky. But when a child does lie, how should a parent respond? Dr. Lisa explains the difference between a child feeling appropriately guilty, and a child being made to feel shame. The bottom line? How you respond to dishonesty can make an important differenc...

Feb 22, 202234 minSeason 2Ep. 69

68: How Should Step-Parents Fit In?

A step-parent asks for Dr. Lisa’s help as she finds herself parenting three kids under eight, two of them step-children. Should step-parents discipline differently? Dr. Lisa talks about what parents can do to keep kids from feeling stuck in a loyalty conflict between their parent and step-parent. Reena asks about common mistakes step-parents make when forming a relationship with step-kids. Dr. Lisa also explains how weekday parenting can be different from weekend parenting. She maps out how you ...

Feb 15, 202232 minSeason 2Ep. 68

67: Should My Teen Go to a Sleepover with Her Boyfriend?

A parent from Connecticut wants to know if it’s acceptable for her teen to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house. How should parents approach a conversation like this one? What do you do if your values are not the same as other parents'? The Dutch approach teen romance very differently than Americans do. Dr. Lisa explains the cross-cultural research on teens and sex. Reena asks how to move beyond an impasse with your kid and Dr. Lisa explains why there is value in having some tension with tee...

Feb 08, 202229 minSeason 2Ep. 67