What’s the right age to give a kid a smartphone? There’s no simple answer to this question, but guidelines we can bear in mind when kids - at increasingly young ages - ask for one. In this encore episode Dr. Lisa explains what to consider, and the conversations to have before and after you give your child a phone. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Link...
Jun 23, 2023•27 min•Season 1Ep. 124
Schools out! Now what? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a look back at the highlights of Season Three - from key topics to informative guests to the launch of Lisa’s new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. Their conversation covers what Lisa hopes parents will focus on now, the launch date for Season Four, and the upcoming episodes for the summer. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on Instagram...
Jun 13, 2023•6 min•Season 1Ep. 123
While summer is a great time to be more laid back, a parent writes in asking whether kids should really have less structure in the summer. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk through key questions parents face once the school year ends: What's a reasonable bedtime - and how much sleep should kids be getting? What's fair to expect in terms of chores? And how much time should kids spend with digital devices, especially in light of the new, worrisome report from the U.S. Surgeon General? Their conversation off...
Jun 06, 2023•32 min•Season 1Ep. 122
It can be hard to get your kids to be self-starters. How do we motivate kids to do the things they don't want to do? Dr. Lisa explains that there are times in parenting when offering encouragement and reminders just doesn't work. So can bribing your kids be a winning strategy for things like getting better grades? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss motivation and rewards. What really works to get kids motivated? This is an encore episode that originally ran at the beginning of 2022 during the pandemic. ...
May 30, 2023•29 min•Season 1Ep. 121
With online betting now legal in most states, sports coverage is increasingly saturated with commentary focussed on betting and ads for gambling apps. Teens are noticing - and some of them are getting in on the action. It's increasingly easy and common for teens to bet on sports and, at times, to lose large sums of money. Dr. Lisa and Reena address how teens find ways to place bets, why they want to, and what parents and caregivers need to know if they have a teen who might be interested in spor...
May 23, 2023•33 min
Why are kids mean to their siblings? Dr. Lisa unpacks the dynamics behind sibling conflict and takes us inside the mind of older siblings. The conversation addresses why the onset of puberty makes it hard for kids to control their emotions, gendered dynamics, and how to steer clear of shame when one child hurts another. Dr. Lisa offers guidance on what parents can do - both in the moment and after the fact - to prevent lasting harm. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Dam...
May 16, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 119
Why do young people engage in self-harm? A mother writes in asking for advice on how to respond when her daughter cuts herself. Dr. Lisa unpacks why adolescents sometimes hurt themselves to manage distress and Reena asks about the connection between self-harm and suicide. Using research as a guide, Dr. Lisa explains self-harm, how adults can respond helpfully, and what interventions to consider. Dr. Lisa Resource Recommendation: The DBT Skills Workbook for Teen Self-Harm: Practical Tools to Help...
May 09, 2023•31 min•Season 1Ep. 118
What’s the best way for parents to respond when their high school senior wants to spend every waking minute with friends? A mom writes in asking if it's okay to require her teen to spend time with the family before heading off to college. Dr. Lisa walks us through the complex psychological dynamics unfolding for high school seniors and their parents. Teens are often working to consolidate a new identity and can be remote and prickly around the house. Parents often feel annoyed with their college...
May 02, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 117
When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDa...
Apr 25, 2023•28 min•Season 1Ep. 116
Dr. Lisa and Reena welcome special guest Dr. Laurence Steinberg, Professor of Psychology at Temple University, to celebrate the publication of his latest book You And Your Adult Child: How To Grow Together In Challenging Times. Dr. Steinberg unpacks key research and decades of experience to answer questions from Ask Lisa listeners: How long should you financially support your kids? What if your parents aren’t the grandparents you hoped they'd be? When should you speak out about worrisome choices...
Apr 18, 2023•40 min•Season 1Ep. 115
Does it always make sense for students to enroll in college immediately after high school? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss when and why parents might want to think seriously about having a teen take a gap year. They weigh the pros and cons of "stepping off the conveyor belt" to college and talk about how gap years are best spent. Reena shares her concern that allowing a gap year makes college less likely. Dr. Lisa explains how having an extra year can go a long way toward helping students make the mo...
Apr 11, 2023•32 min•Season 1Ep. 114
From not getting into a desired college to not making a team - how do we help kids process unfairness? A dad writes in asking for help when his high school junior loses the National Honors Society presidency to a classmate known for online posts about drinking. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how to help kids come to terms with unfairness and privilege as they play out in school, sports, and leadership positions. Dr. Lisa reminds parents of the importance of helping kids develop the capacity to toler...
Apr 04, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 113
How do you know if your child has a gaming addiction? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions: When is it time to worry that a kid is spending too much time gaming? And what should parents do? AVAILABLE NOW Lisa’s new book: The...
Mar 28, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 112
Parents seeking professional support for their kids often run into a confusing array of therapies to choose from. In this episode, Dr. Lisa provides a neutral guide on the various options - DBT, CBT, talk therapy, somatic therapy, play therapy, and family therapy - and describes which options are the best fit for which concerns. From Freudian therapy to body-based treatments, Dr. Lisa and Reena give listeners an accessible guide to therapeutic interventions. AVAILABLE NOW Lisa’s new book: The Em...
Mar 21, 2023•32 min
What’s the difference between real and faux self-care? Dr. Pooja Lakshmin helps us rethink what it means to care for ourselves and answers listeners' questions related to her new book, Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included). Dr. Lisa and Reena find out how to realistically manage life's pressures - from raising kids to managing aging parents - while making self-care a priority. Dr. Lakshmin discusses the personal journ...
Mar 14, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 110
How should you respond when your kids are mean to you? What’s age appropriate behavior and what should not be tolerated? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack why kids lash out and what’s behind the outbursts. How do you know when hormones are the cause or when it’s something else? Dr. Lisa has advice on how to create a safe space for kids at home that allows them to work through their frustrations but also teaches them what’s acceptable in the real world. This episode is an encore presentation that origina...
Mar 07, 2023•33 min•Ep. 109
Preparing for life after high school is about more than just getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what drives procrastination in kids, how adults can provide executive functioning "training wheels," and how to get kids to do things like homework without having to nag...
Feb 28, 2023•34 min•Season 1Ep. 108
Dr. Lisa’s new book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers is officially out today in print and audio book. In this episode Lisa and Reena discuss Lisa’s new book and the research behind it. Lisa explains why she felt passionate about writing the book, the strategies it offers parents for navigating the teen years, and how it will help parents know what's typical teen behavior and when it's time to worry. Reena asks if the pandemic forever changed teen behavior and how gender influences the experience...
Feb 21, 2023•34 min•Season 1Ep. 107
Parents should view sexual development as a facet of overall healthy development, but that's not always easy to do. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the concept of “the sex talk" and Lisa explains that, instead of a single sit-down, conversations about physical intimacy should be short, start earlier than expected, and happen over time. Reena asks how parents can find openings to discuss sex when it can be such an awkward topic, and whether parents should really expect (or even want) for their kids to ...
Feb 14, 2023•32 min•Season 1Ep. 106
How should a parent respond to a kid who seems to complain all the time? Dr. Lisa explains why complaints, though often tedious to listen to, can actually play an important role in healthy development. Reena points out that parents are usually exhausted and trying to keep a positive energy around the house; Dr. Lisa and Reena address how parents might balance allowing kids to vent with the fact that complaining can bring everyone down. This episode also addresses when it's time to worry about co...
Feb 07, 2023•29 min•Season 1Ep. 105
A teen confides to her mother that she is gay but doesn’t want her dad to know. Her mother writes the Ask Lisa podcast with several questions: How can parents best support teens who identify as LGBTQ+? Is it right to hold information from the other parent? How should the family handle sleepovers with same-sex peers? Dr. Lisa explains how worried kids can be when they come out to their parents; Reena asks how parents should respond if they wonder if their child is going through a phase. Dr. Lisa ...
Jan 31, 2023•32 min•Season 1Ep. 104
Vaping has become a growing concern for many parents of tweens and teens. What can adults do to steer kids clear of it, and what should we do to help kids who find themselves hooked on nicotine? Dr. Lisa discusses research-based strategies that can keep kids from experimenting with vaping or help them stop once they've started. Reena asks for advice on helping kids deal with peer pressure around vaping. Resources: This is Quitting online community to help people who are addicted to nicotine Lisa...
Jan 24, 2023•30 min•Season 1Ep. 103
A parent writes in that her teen sent a group text to his classmates that contained racial and homophobic slurs about another kid. He thought he was being funny, but quickly realized that his classmates didn't agree. The boy and his parents understand that there's a price to pay for his actions, but his mom worries that he may be canceled. Dr. Lisa walks us through the long road ahead to try to make things right and the fact that redemption isn't always guaranteed. Reena asks how children can le...
Jan 17, 2023•28 min•Season 1Ep. 102
Is it normal for my teen son to not want to talk to me? That’s the question we tackle this week. Dr. Lisa explains that it can feel like a personal rejection when teens pull away from their parents, but that is rarely the case. So how do parents stay invested and find connection? Lisa and Reena unpack the strategies that work and Lisa draws on research from her new book The Emotional Lives of Teenagers. The conversation turns to how, without meaning to, we socialize boys to be less fluent in the...
Jan 10, 2023•33 min•Season 1Ep. 101
We all want to start the New Year feeling our best, but that's a tall order for the many parents who feel mentally and physically exhausted. In response to a question from a parent asking how she can feel less stressed, anxious, and harried, Dr. Lisa and Reena consider what makes for effective self-care, how to hit the reset button, the science behind maintaining a sense of equilibrium, and why parenting can feel so hard - even when things are going well. Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenage...
Jan 03, 2023•34 min
The holidays can usher in a focus on spending and consumerism. How do we instill healthy values in our kids, make sure that they appreciate what really matters in life, and keep them from becoming preoccupied with wealth or material objects? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the critical question of what parents can do to keep kids grounded and Lisa unpacks research on what really works. Pre-order The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com Follow us on Instagr...
Dec 27, 2022•28 min•Season 1Ep. 99
Having friendships with families where the kids and adults love hanging out can be wonderful. But what happens when the kids’ relationships sour or they drift in different directions? Dr. Lisa helps parents navigate the tricky conversations they may need to have with their friends. What should parents do when they know that their kid is being excluded? Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how to start a conversation with the adults who are involved without making the whole situation worse. Follow us on In...
Dec 13, 2022•34 min•Season 1Ep. 98
Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. So...is it a good idea to track your teen's location? While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And does it really help to keep tee...
Dec 06, 2022•32 min•Season 1Ep. 97
Having conversations with our kids about money can be difficult. So how do we set them up for good financial health? Financial expert Bobbi Rebell, author of Launching Financial Grownups: Live Your Richest Life by Helping Your (Almost) Adult Kids Become Everyday Money Smart, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast as a special guest. The conversation answers key questions from listeners, including: How do we get kids to understand the value of the things they have? Should you do allowances? How do you teach ...
Nov 29, 2022•38 min•Season 1Ep. 96
The holidays can be both joyful and stressful. Being in close quarters with relatives whose political or social views are completely different from yours can make this busy time of year even more challenging. Dr. Lisa offers a plan to help families and their kids avoid conflict when possible and cope with any friction that does arise. She also lays out a game plan for how to talk with our kids about guests and relatives who don't make for great company. Lisa and Reena offer this holiday encore p...
Nov 22, 2022•29 min•Season 1Ep. 95
