In this episode I talk with Cassie and answer the question “How can I find support for myself as my husband heals from a traumatic childhood?” Cassie’s husband is actively working on healing from this trauma, but there are times when she feels like her wants and needs have to take a back seat until he is better. The story that Cassie has to put everything on hold while her husband heals is not true. She cannot wait to focus on herself and find the support she needs because she needs it now. We d...
Aug 08, 2023•24 min
In this episode, I talk with Moriah and answer the question “How do I validate myself in my struggles with secondary infertility?” Moriah has two children from a previous relationship, but she and her husband of four years have been unable to have a child of their own. She is in a unique position where she belongs to the infertility community but feels guilty for struggling with that heartache when she already has two children. Moriah wants to have a biological child with her husband. That is a ...
Jul 25, 2023•19 min
In this episode I talk with Michelle and answer the question “How do I share my doubts about the LDS Church with my family?” Michelle’s parents are both very religious, and she is unsure how to share the news of her faith journey with them. Part of being honest about where you are on a faith journey is often disappointing your parents. This is especially hard for Michelle who has felt pressure to be one of her parents’ children who stays in the faith. We talk about how she will lose that role in...
Jul 11, 2023•26 min
In this episode I talk with Kelsey and answer the question, “How do I come to terms with my last baby entering toddlerhood?” She is feeling a sense of loss as her third child leaves the baby stage behind. Instead she wants to be able to feel more joy as her child grows and develops. I tell Kelsey that the emotions she is experiencing are totally normal, especially for women who had difficult or complicated births and recoveries like she did. It’s common for there to be a sense of loss because sh...
Jun 27, 2023•19 min
In this episode I talk with Sarah and answer the question “How can I step away from a friendship without hurting my friend’s feelings?” Sarah feels like it is time to distance herself from both a group of friends and an individual friend because the relationships are no longer helpful in her life. It’s hard to break up with a friend without hurting their feelings. I invite Sarah to think about the fact that their hurt feelings are theirs to process; she is not responsible for their reaction. Sar...
Jun 13, 2023•23 min
In this podcast episode, I talk with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. She answered the question, “How do I claim my sexuality?” Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a relationship and sexuality educator and coach as well as a licensed clinical professional counselor. She has resources on her website to help you achieve greater satisfaction and passion within your emotional and sexual relationship. During our time together we cover a wide range of topics from embracing sexuality in or out of a relationship, navigat...
May 30, 2023•1 hr 1 min
This week Richie joins me as I answer more of your most frequently asked questions. Listen to hear answers to questions like: Is my grief over infertility related to the teaching that the most important thing for me to be is a mother? Does your husband agree with everything you post? Is lasting change possible? How do I overcome imposter syndrome? How do navigate my personal growth while also supporting my children? If you have a question you’d like to hear me answer in a future FAQ podcast epis...
May 16, 2023•31 min
In this episode I talk with Heidi and answer the question “Do I have to end my friendship with a family member’s ex now that they are divorced?” Heidi grew very close with the person who married into her family, and after that marriage ended Heidi’s family member asked her to cut contact with their ex. Heidi wants to be respectful, but she also really misses her friend. I advise Heidi that her family member does not get to make decisions about Heidi’s relationships. They get to decide not to be ...
May 02, 2023•11 min
In this episode, I talk with Valerie and answer the question “What do I do when my friends and family won’t acknowledge my vulnerable faith deconstruction work?” Valerie is a fellow therapist and podcaster. She has been struggling with negative feedback from strangers about her podcast about faith deconstruction and a lack of feedback from friends and family. I tell Valerie that any bad reviews from strangers—while difficult to read—are not about her. They are about her work, and she is not her ...
Apr 18, 2023•25 min
In this episode, I talk with Stacy and answer the question “How can I build confidence and not let self-doubt hold me back from achieving my goals?” Stacy is studying to become a therapist, and she wants to build up her confidence so that it doesn’t fluctuate based on feedback from other people like her supervisor or family. Stacy tells me that sometimes she feels that she will have confidence once she’s perfect. We talk about how this equation is setting her up to never feel the confidence she ...
Apr 04, 2023•20 min
I’m excited to bring you another FAQ podcast episode! Join me as I sit down with Richie and answer more of your frequently asked questions. Tune in to hear answers to questions like: How do I stand up for myself with in-laws who want me to be traditional and politically conservative when I am neither of those things? How can I help my daughters know their worth? Who am I anymore without children to care for? How do I transition from full-time stay-at-home mom to whatever I am currently? How can ...
Mar 21, 2023•32 min
In this bonus podcast episode I talk with Dr. Jennifer Douglas about March’s theme in the Dr. Julie Hanks Group Coaching Membership: How do I stop seeking others’ approval? In this dynamic conversation we uncover the roots of perfectionism, share phrases and mantras that help battle perfectionist thinking, talk about how overfunctioning at home is a form of perfectionism, discuss the benefits of breaking free from approval seeking, share how to deal with the guilt that accompanies leaving perfec...
Mar 07, 2023•32 min
In this bonus podcast episode, I talk with Dr. Morgan Francis about overcoming body shame and cultivating body love. Dr. Francis is a licensed therapist who offers courses and therapy services on her website that can help you stop hating your body. During our time together we talk about how we develop body shame, the different ways body shame can show up in our day-to-day lives, and what influence social media has had on body shame. Dr. Francis also shares about body neutrality, which is a helpf...
Feb 21, 2023•31 min
Jennifer is a mother of 1 and a widow who recently remarried. Growing up, she always felt that her parents had a great relationship because they put each other first. Now that she is remarried, she wants to know if this approach is the best way to make sure everyone in her home is taken care of. Instead of always setting one person before another, I encourage Jennifer to look for ways to balance her relationships with her daughter and husband. Rather than thinking of one coming before another, I...
Feb 14, 2023•26 min
In this bonus podcast episode, I sit down with my podcast editor Richie and answer another round of your frequently asked questions. Listen to find answers to questions like When do I know if I am depressed or just in a rut? How can I respect members of the LDS Church when I don’t respect the Church’s actions? How can I have respectful dialogue about my faith transition with family and friends? How do I make peace with my aspirational shame? And more! If you have a question you’d like to hear me...
Feb 07, 2023•29 min
In this episode, I talk with Cyd and address the question “When my parents don’t respect my boundaries, how can I find a middle ground between putting up with it and shutting them out?” Cyd expresses frustration at her parents’ inability to accept her for who she is without trying to manipulate the choices she makes. Cyd is doing a great job setting boundaries with her parents and genuinely wants to pursue a relationship with them. At the same time, she feels like she is going in circles having ...
Jan 31, 2023•31 min
In this episode I talk with Tamee and answer the question “Why do I have such a hard time when I tell my kids no?” Tamee shares that even though she knows she isn’t responsible for making sure her children are always happy, she feels responsible whenever they have a negative response to hearing no. Tamee grew up in a house where she felt unsafe, uncomforted, and even invisible at times. Little Tamee was driven by fear, and she may be directing the way Adult Tamee parents. We discuss how her disc...
Jan 24, 2023•17 min
In this bonus episode of the podcast, I talk with Chrissy Powers about the difference between self care and selfishness. Chrissy is an LMFT, creative coach, writer, therapist, and mother of three. Her work focuses on encouraging others to live their fullest lives through unfreezing patterns of trauma. Taking care of yourself and being selfish are two different things, and yet so many women feel selfish for taking care of themselves. Listen as we: Share our definitions of self care versus selfish...
Jan 17, 2023•24 min
In this podcast episode, I talk with Natalie and address the question “How can I find healing from the challenges of being a quadruplet?” One of Natalie’s biggest challenges is comparison, both in comparing herself to her quadruplet siblings and to those around her. Natalie seems to have somehow decided that she doesn’t measure up. I ask her to turn inward and reflect on her definition of what is good enough. What makes someone a good mother? A good partner? A good sibling? When Natalie shares w...
Jan 10, 2023•27 min
In this bonus podcast episode, I sit down and answer eight of your most frequently asked questions. Listen to see how I answer questions like: I want another child, but my husband does not. How do we navigate this? How do I keep a good relationship with my parents while pursuing my authentic life’s path, even if that path may hurt them? How do my partner and I work together if I leave the Church and he stays? What are some strategies I can use to work through aspirational shame? Have you ever th...
Jan 03, 2023•10 min
In this episode I talk with Caitlin and answer the question “How do I handle the fear of temporal and eternal consequences if I leave the Church?” Caitlin’s faith journey has led her to some questions about the LDS Church. But whenever she contemplates leaving, she feels fear. What if she forfeits something by leaving the Church? As Caitlin and I talk, it becomes clear that a lot of her decisions stem from a place of fear. If the only reason you’re doing something is because you are afraid, your...
Dec 27, 2022•25 min
In this episode, I talk with Benjamin and answer the question “What can I do when my ex doesn’t want to co-parent?” Benjamin shares that there are still a lot of hurt feelings between himself and his ex wife due to infidelity. While he is interested in coparenting for the benefit of his children, she is uninterested in having that closeness. Benjamin asks how he can build trust back with his ex. From what he shares with me, however, it sounds like she may be uninterested in rebuilding trust at t...
Dec 20, 2022•10 min
In this episode, I talk with Rebecca and answer the question “How can I better connect and communicate with my orthodox family now that I’ve left the LDS Church?” Rebecca left the LDS Church and came out as gay. Her family has been accepting and supportive, but she has noticed they tend to be awkward and avoidant when her girlfriend is around. To Rebecca, it feels like she is being rejected. I ask Rebecca if there is room for people to be awkward around her and her partner without rejecting them...
Dec 13, 2022•20 min
In this episode, I talk with Jodie and answer the question “Am I helping or enabling my adult child who suffers from mental illness?” Jodie’s daughter moved home from college after experiencing a traumatic event, and Jodie is struggling to know when to help her versus when to step back. Jodie worries that if she doesn’t do enough to help her daughter, her daughter will go on a downward spiral that could have been prevented. I remind Jodie that she is not in control of her daughter’s life. Her ac...
Dec 06, 2022•19 min
In this episode, I talk with Shelby and answer the question “How can I cope with the idea that my dad will always choose the Church over me?” Shelby has left the LDS Church. At times when Shelby has asked her father to be on her side, he has told her that he will always put the Church first. I invite Shelby to reframe her thoughts about her father having to choose her or the Church and open up the possibility that her father can choose both. She cannot change her father or make his choices for h...
Nov 29, 2022•20 min
In this episode, I talk with a mother and answer the question “How do I navigate a relationship with my difficult parents who do not support my gay son?” This mother grew up in a home where individuality was discouraged, and she often felt attacked for sharing opinions that differed from her parents’. Their traditional Christian views are unsupportive of her son, and she worries for what they will say that may make him feel unloved and invalidated. At the same time, however, she feels immense gu...
Nov 22, 2022•21 min
In this episode, I talk with Rachel and address the question “How do I come to terms with decisions my parents made for my life that should have been made by me?” Rachel shares a few examples with me that have left her wondering “What if?” Now that Rachel is about to become a mother, she is struggling with the choice of whether to be a stay-at-home mom (which her parents have always encouraged her to do) or have a career. We talk about how she can set boundaries with her parents around the input...
Nov 15, 2022•27 min
In this bonus episode of the podcast, I talk with Sal Osborne of @comingoutcoach about communicating with active LDS parents during a faith transition. Sal talks about the evolution of her relationship with her mother, who was an active member of the LDS Church when Sal came out. Sal shares ways that we can help those going through a faith transition feel accepted and loved for who they are. It is possible to connect with the people in your life in meaningful ways whether you are or aren’t part ...
Nov 08, 2022•33 min
In this episode of the podcast I work with Sariah and address the question, “How can I work through my fear of rejection?” Sariah grew up in an abusive environment, and she sees the impact of that in her daily life and relationships. She tells me that she feels her fear of rejection crop up especially around her family. Sariah shares that she is working really hard to be accepted in a family that is not very functional, and that she essentially has to betray herself to gain their acceptance. We ...
Nov 01, 2022•20 min
In this episode, I coach Kellie and address the question, “What do I do when I see my mom favoring my sister-in-law who has a personality disorder?” Although Kellie has repeatedly set boundaries with her mother that relate to her sister-in-law, Kellie’s mother has not respected those boundaries. This has left Kellie feeling like she cannot trust her mother. Kellie shares that her mother has been self-absorbed throughout Kellie’s life; that her needs often came second to her mother’s. She sees th...
Oct 25, 2022•25 min
