Great sex and mind-blowing kink must include clear communication and thorough negotiation. Sometimes, however, the process can seem impersonal and not very sexy. In this episode, Midori teaches us surefire techniques for laying groundwork before a sexy scene that doesn’t feel like negotiation at all. She explains her signature engaged collaborative consent model, gives specific steps for flirtatious negotiation, and offers tips for cultivating “Queen of the Starfish” moments. She also busts myth...
Dec 17, 2018•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 72
On Episode 71 Miss Quin opens up about all things clown fetish! What’s the appeal? How do you find partners that don’t think it’s weird? What's behind the sudden popularity in clown porn? We also talk about her latest venture, Cam Girl Camp. The turnover in the cam world is high-- most performers quit within the first 2 weeks. Miss Quinn tells us the reasons why & what she’s doing to change that. Lastly, online censorship is at a critical point. SESTA/FOSTA were intended to curb sex traffick...
Dec 10, 2018•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 71
Choosing a sex toy can be overwhelming. There’s so many different types! How can you figure out which is the best one for you? This week we deviate from our regular format to spill all of Sunny’s secrets for finding the perfect sex toy. She drops gems about sex toys facts and myths, determining which materials are safe, and how to figure out your body’s specific pleasure response and match that up to a complimentary sex toy. Find out which pleasure tools knock it out of the park and which ones a...
Dec 03, 2018•1 hr 15 min•Ep. 70
For our 69th episode, we talk everything 69 with guests Dirty Lola and Jim Marcus. Whether you’re on #Team69 or not, you’re going to learn a lot from their unique and differing perspectives. We cover positions for comfort, overcoming size differences, combating the distractibility factor, 69ing being a secret tool of the patriarchy, period sex, face sitting, the dominant/submissive nature of the act, and much more. We also hear some listener perspectives and answer your questions about how to ma...
Nov 26, 2018•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 69
A findom is a dominatrix that hits you where it hurts most-- your bank account. If this sounds like a made up fetish or something highly unethical, it’s actually neither. Mistress Harley, otherwise known as the Techdomme, is a high-profile findom. She’s appeared on The Doctors and profiled in The Washington Post, Engadget, and more. During this fascinating conversation Mistress Harley demystifies financial domination. We talk about how she obtains consent, why her services are similar to a perso...
Nov 19, 2018•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 68
Brianna Rader gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the sex tech startup world. It turns out it's not as easy as it seems. Facing restrictions at every turn and nonsensical business standards (i.e. promoting penile erectile solutions is allowed but discussion of vaginal sexual function is not), Brianna stopped at nothing to bring her revolutionary idea, Juicebox, to life. We talk about how she got started in sex ed--as a college student trying to bring sex week to her university who ended up in t...
Nov 12, 2018•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 67
Kevin Casters is a casting fetishist that lets us into his fascinating world. He tells us why he believes casts turn him on and how his fetish manifested, about the underground casting fetish community, the dominant/submissive aspect of casting, how much money he spends on his hobby, the different ways he plays out his fetish, what part of casting has sexual components, boudoir casting fetish photo shoots, casting mishaps, his feature on the TV show My Strange Addiction, and more. Over on patreo...
Nov 05, 2018•1 hr 12 min•Ep. 66
This week BBW adult performer, Kendra Lee Ryan, shares her experiences as a sex worker. She’s done various forms of sex work including dancing, camming, escorting, and adult films. Kendra tells us why she’s so passionate about sex work, how it affects her own love life & libido, and what her most rewarding client interactions entail. We also discuss how SESTA/FOSTA has made sex work more dangerous and the downsides of the job more impactful. Kendra shares helpful tips and little-known resour...
Oct 29, 2018•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 65
Statistically speaking you’re probably a Sex Nerd Sandra fan. Her wildly popular sex podcast has over 15 million downloads! You also may have noticed she vanished during the last couple of years. Ken & Sunny catch up with Sandra and get all the details about her upcoming Sex Nerd Sandra podcast reboot. Sandra also shares what prompted her hiatus and the important things she learned about herself while she was away. The trio also talk about healing hurt, the skills needed for healthy relation...
Oct 22, 2018•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 64
Body positive activist, musician, and Youtuber, Meghan Tonjes, tells us about the #BootyRevolution her very first Instagram butt photo sparked. We also talk about the good and bad in the body positive community, middle school bullying, dealing with online haters, how we’re all products of our past experiences & traumas, the importance of telling your loved ones how much they mean to you, and more. She teaches us why self-love & self-awareness are key and how to self-advocate like a bad-a...
Oct 15, 2018•1 hr 30 min
Hudsy Hawn is not your typical dominatrix. She tells us how discovering BDSM in her 30s after tragedy and divorce changed her life. Careerwise kink took her literally from Disneyland to the Dungeon. It also healed personal wounds in unexpected ways. Hudsy shares how these experiences lead to her hit musical stage show geared toward vanilla audiences. We also get a peek into the pro-BDSM world and learn about the lives of professional submissives. She gives us tips for getting into kink with or w...
Oct 08, 2018•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 62
Amy Jo Goddard specializes in women’s healing & empowerment and after the week our country has had, this conversation is perfectly timed. Sunny & Amy Jo discuss the impact of age of #MeToo has had on various members of society--women, survivors, allies, non-binary folks, men, people of color, etc--and how our roles in it all intertwine. Their discussion zeros in on how these factors affect women’s sexuality: why so many have difficulty focusing on pleasure and embracing desire, the strug...
Oct 01, 2018•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 61
Intimacy Coach Stella Harris is a healthy communication rockstar and just released a new best selling book on the subject. In this episode Stella teaches us: what to do when one partner isn’t putting in the effort, boundary & expectation setting in the early part of relationships, how communication differs for vanilla & BDSM situations, navigating consent without ruining the mood, sexual improv tips & communication exercises for improving your sex life & more! Sunny shows her app...
Sep 24, 2018•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 60
Dr. Chauntelle studies the sociology of sexuality and sex work. This fascinating conversation integrates the economics, ethics, psychology, politics, and marketing of sex--all critical components of sexual freedom we’re not accustomed to thinking about. We discuss: Why researchers shy away from studying sexuality, how our social & cultural discomforts with sex permeate everything, Stormy Daniels & how she’s single-handedly extinguishing puritanical biases about sex work, the impact of te...
Sep 17, 2018•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 59
The folks from Black People Kink Podcast, Dominus Blue & jaemina, drop tons of gems in this week’s episode. They open up about their 24/7 total power exchange Dominant/submissive BDSM relationship and explain how the dynamic isn’t so different from vanilla couples. We talk monogamy vs. polyamory; dropping the racial terms black & white for melanated & demelanated; why jaemina views her submission as a feminist act; how to be an effective, nurturing, emotionally intelligent dominant; ...
Sep 10, 2018•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 58
Science has never been so sexy! Adult performer, Fem Domme, and Infectious Disease professional, Bella Bathory gives us a peek at safety protocols in the adult industry. She tells us about the incredibly effective systems performers use to minimize STI transmission on porn sets. We also talk about HIV stigma. Last week an adult performer tested HIV positive and brought to the surface myths and biases rooted in homophobia and anti-sex work rhetoric. We discuss the damage these falsehoods do and w...
Sep 03, 2018•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 57
Ken and Sunny dive into their mailbag to answer listener sex questions this week for their first ever Q&A episode! They cover subjects from vanilla to extra kinky-- erotic asphyxiation, electric play, blow job tips, orgasm issues, Daddy Dom/little girl relationships, desensitization from vibrators, how to go on after a good dick down, intro to BDSM, compromise in the bedroom, what to do with the balls, and more. This episode is not to be missed! Do you have a question you’d like answered ano...
Aug 27, 2018•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 56
This conversation about sex and disability is essential listening for every human on the planet! Andrew Gurza helps us sit with and work through our discomforts around disability. We talk ableism, inspiration porn, and the reason he chooses to identify with words most people find uncomfortable. Andrew tells us about his own difficulties as someone with cerebral palsy navigating queer spaces and dealing with jerks in the dating pool. We also get down to the juicy stuff as Andrew shares details fr...
Aug 20, 2018•1 hr 14 min•Ep. 55
This hour with Amberly Rothfield is essential listening for anyone who’s ever considered being a phone sex operator, telephone dominatrix, cam performer, or XXX content creator. Amberly gives us tips from her book “How I Made $10k a Month as a Phone Sex Operator” (the electronic version is free right now BTW, get it!). She covers: working for services vs. being independent, how to remain anonymous, considerations before breaking into the business, how to generate passive income, marketing yourse...
Aug 13, 2018•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 54
minimus maximus is an experienced submissive and one of the hosts of the popular Off The Cuffs: A Kink & BDSM Podcast. We delve into the how's and why’s of some of his favorite kinky activities like chastity play, Female Domination, cuckolding, CFNM parties, and extreme humiliation. He takes us through the most intense scene he’s ever had (and it was a real mindf*ck!), we discuss why the BDSM lifestyle can be comforting to those on the autism spectrum, and he gives resources for “aspies &...
Aug 06, 2018•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 53
We sat down with BDSM & rope bondage superstars, Graydancer & Naiia, to talk about the BDSM “scene”. Some assume this group is ripe with open communication, ethical behavior, and clearly negotiated consent because those concepts are cornerstones of BDSM. It turns out kink communities have their fair share of toxicity and inequity too-- just like most other social groups. Gray & Naiia share some innovative perspectives on these issues and discuss possible solutions. They’ve even imple...
Jul 30, 2018•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 52
Typically women in the U.S. are on the losing end of an uneven division of labor. We are expected to give a f*ck about everything. This isn’t only for those that are parents or in heterosexual marriages. These rigid gender roles seep in at work, in school, in friendships, etc-- even when we’re consciously trying to break free of them. In this episode, Airial Clark teaches us How to Be a Woman And Not Give a F*ck. It’s a must listen no matter your gender. Airial also tackles sex-positive parentin...
Jul 23, 2018•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 51
This is our jam-packed relationship episode! Dr. Jess zeroes in on the real issues we need to focus on for better relationships. She explains the chemistry of love and why things seem to go south after the honeymoon period is over, why taking calculated risks is vital to the longevity and quality of your relationship, how to battle the resentment and criticism that pop up in arguments, why addressing these issues will revitalize your sex life, plus she gives tips and resources you can start usin...
Jul 16, 2018•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 50
Jimanekia Eborn takes a heavy subject and makes it feel like a breath of fresh air. Overcoming sexual trauma can be incredibly difficult. Jimanekia tells us about her journey of healing from her own trauma and the work she now does with other survivors*. She also discusses the ways in which people of color can experience trauma differently and why. This episode is jam-packed with ideas for working through trauma, helping friends and partners heal, and includes (low cost!) therapy resources. Sunn...
Jul 09, 2018•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 49
Looking at Paul Fishbein you’d never guess he’s “the porn guy.” Fresh out of college in the early 80s Paul was working at a video store when he spotted an unaddressed need in the adult movie industry. He went on to found AVN-- the magazine, organization, and awards show otherwise known as “The Oscars of Porn.” Paul shares stories from the heyday of x-rated moviemaking and the personal tragedy that prompted his exit from that world. He also gives us a peek into his new career producing mainstream...
Jul 02, 2018•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 48
Raven Roxx was the epitome of masculinity until just a few years ago. Now she’s a drop dead gorgeous adult performer living her best life. Ken & Sunny talk to Raven about her former conservative lifestyle as a married man in the military, the lengths she went to denying her sexual orientation & gender identity, and the explosive confrontation that lead to Raven’s secret transition and eventual coming out. Raven also tells us how the Veterans Administration helped with her transition and ...
Jun 25, 2018•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 47
How would you feel if your spouse dated other people? This week Ken & Sunny open up and talk about their open marriage and include Ken’s girlfriend, Lee Lee as their guest. They reveal how they manage jealousy, their time, and their emotions. Learn what rules are non-negotiable in their polyamory, what benefits and pitfalls come with maintaining multiple concurrent long-term relationships, and how their kids and extended family factor into the equation. They answer listener questions about p...
Jun 18, 2018•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 46
Dr. Chris Donaghue drops so much valuable knowledge in this episode! We get right to the heart of issues common in masculine sexuality-- low desire, masturbation habits, societal pressures to perform, the taboo of prostate play, the stigma of using sex toys, plus we examine what we can learn from other cultures that don’t view self-pleasure as shameful. Dr. Chris also gives us the definitive answer on how much self-love is too much (and what he says may surprise you!). Ken and Sunny answer a lis...
Jun 11, 2018•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 45
Dan Savage of the Savage Lovecast and Savage Love advice column talks with Sunny & Ken about growing up gay while attending an all boys Catholic seminary school (and the extreme measures he took to get expelled), the impact the It Gets Better Project has had on LGBTQ youth, how he accidentally became the go-to sex advice columnist of the 21st century, using sexuality to cope with our tough political times, the birth of Santorum, his ITMFA project & more. Sunny & Ken recap the Interna...
Jun 04, 2018•52 min•Ep. 44
This week Ken & Sunny interview a pair of high school teachers. Erin Heaney and Dr. Greg Marks are dedicated to making sure women and girls have equal access and representation in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math). Why is this important and what does it have to do with sex and relationships? Surprisingly a lot. Learn how women not having an equitable seat at the table affects our dating, marriage, and sex lives and what you can do to change it. If you have women in your life,...
May 28, 2018•58 min•Ep. 43
