EP 214 Step Out of Your Comfort Zone: Transforming Fear into Confidence

Foreign Prioritize your family and stay true to your vision. Get ready to transform your life and business one episode at a time. This is the Align your True north podcast and I'm your host, Brooke Elder.

And today I'm going to tell you a little secret that the top paid operations directors or operation professionals, strategic partners, what they know that you don't know, and that is that they are not afraid to step out of their comfort zone. You may be thinking, okay, Brooke, like that sounds really easy, but I want to tell you about a client that I had. She had an amazing opportunity to work with this great company that they were doing seven, eight million dollars a year.

They were going to pay her. I think it was like $8,000 a month. And she almost didn't take the job because she didn't feel good enough to take that job. Even though she knew that she could help them, she started doubting her skills and doubting the things that she could do for this business, and she ended up taking it. And the great news was after about a month, she was like, I don't know what I was talking about. I do know what I'm doing.

And that really changed everything for her of like, building up her confidence in the things that she had done. And so we can call this a lot of different things, imposter syndrome, stepping out of our comfort zone, all of those things.

But today I want to talk a little bit about what are some practical ways that we could step into our worth. Because you have amazing skills, you have been giving these gifts, these talents, all of these things to be able to help you in your business and be able to help other people in their businesses. That is why you're here. If you were not one of those people, you wouldn't be a part of this community and you wouldn't be trying to make your skill set better.

And so that's why I know that you have something amazing to offer everybody else. And so in this, I'm so excited because the biggest thing is you are the thing that's stopping you from your success. Your next level of success is just trapped behind your own fear. And the great news is, I love it when I find problems that are me and I am the problem because that means I can control it. I can fix that. When it's something else and you have no control over it, it makes it a lot harder.

But when you know that the problem is you, it's a lot easier to change. So I'm going to talk you through a couple of ways that you can really step out of your comfort zone, get over this imposter syndrome. Because here's the truth. Every single person has imposter syndrome. I have imposter syndrome. Louise has imposter syndrome. Like everyone that has joined our Align Ops program that we talked to like the everyone has imposter syndrome.

It doesn't matter what level you're at, you're going to get to a point where you hit that imposter syndrome. The reason for that is because whenever you are up, up leveling and this could be up leveling your skill set could be up leveling your lifestyle. Doesn't matter what it is. But every time you're up leveling, you are going to hit imposter syndrome.

That is the very first thing that you hit because you are achieving something that your identity, your brain of who you think you are is saying, that doesn't quite match what we used to be. And that's all it is, is our brain saying we're not quite matching. Which that's fine because it's not. We are going to someplace new. That doesn't mean that I can't do something. It doesn't mean that I can't be a strategic partner. It doesn't mean that I can't charge higher rates.

It doesn't mean that I can't charge for like a retainer package versus charging hourly, all of that. All it's saying is that we are about to do something new we haven't done before. And that is amazing because we want to change. We want to keep moving forward.

And so first is just recognizing what imposter syndrome is. It's just telling us that we're going to do something new and it is something that we haven't done before. And that's okay. We're at beginning of an up level and so we are going to be just fine. The next thing that you can do is your brain is always looking for proof.

So I don't know about you, but anytime that like I am struggling with something or like I have a friend who maybe did something and I didn't really like it or something, like, I'll go to other friends and I'll be like, like, not in a gossipy way, but like, go and be like, hey, did you hear about this? Or this is the way I'm feeling. And you tell them all, all the things and what you're really looking for is validation in your feelings, right? So you're saying I feel this way.

I need external validation for the way that I feel. Well, Your brain works just like that. So when we start having this imposter syndrome, if we start telling ourselves, look, I can't do this because look what I did in the past and it failed, or I can't do this because I've never done this before, our brain is going to start thinking of reasons why the statement that we just said is true.

This is why all of those affirmations are so popular, because it's, it's saying all of these things that we're trying to say is true about us, and it's getting our brain to believe that that is what is true. And so one of the ways that we can kind of trick our brain when we're in these situations, because we're working with our subconscious here, is that we create what I call like a brag book.

So I love this idea of creating a brag book where it doesn't necessarily have to be like a notebook or anything. I actually have just a Google Drive folder in on the computer that I can just read through. So I will have like screenshots of what people have said about me or how I've helped them. I will have like any testimonials. So anything that builds up that says, like, no, look, I do know what I'm doing and I can actually help people.

Anything that you can have that's like that, that is going to be massive for you to help you in those moments, because your brain's going to start saying, nope, this is not right. Like, we're hitting imposter syndrome. But if we start reading the positive of like, no, I actually do help people. I was able to help this client be able to xyz. I was able to help this client xyz.

And you start reading those, what it's going to do is it's going to build up this new belief system that we actually do know what it is that we're talking about. And so having a brag book is really going to help us in just getting over all of this imposter syndrome.

So the first thing is we're just gonna recognize it for what it is. We're getting ready for an up level. The second thing is we need to find ways that we can prove to our brains that, no, we're not gonna die. No, this is not a bad thing. Like, it's okay. And we do know what we're talking about and that will help. And this, you're going to hit this imposter syndrome.

Like, I mean, for any of you who have kids, like, I remember When I had my very first baby and I was like, I have no idea what to do and be a mom. Like, I can't do this. But then by the time I had my fourth baby, I'm like, yeah, this is fine. No big deal. That's exactly what's going to happen. So if you are just starting your VA business and you're like, this is scary, I don't know how to reach out to clients. Like, I don't know what to do.

It's going to get easier and easier the more that you do it. But here is the key. You need to keep moving forward, even if it is scary, because our brains are trying to keep us safe. And so things that are new, our brain is going to say, nope, this is a scary thing. But you're not going to die by posting on social media. You aren't going to die by sending that proposal. We're going to do this and we're. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter what happens. Like, we're still okay.

A lot of the times when we hit this imposter syndrome and we do something, we do it scary and it doesn't have a very good outcome. So maybe the client doesn't ever respond to your proposal or they decide to go with somebody else. The next piece is really important not to beat yourself up about all of this because a lot of the times we look at that and we think, oh, it's because I'm not good enough.

And that is just not the case because it doesn't take skill set, like all of these extra skill sets and everything to be amazing at what you do. It takes just knowing what the client needs and being able to fulfill, fulfill on that. And so when you get rejected, because you're going to get rejected, I even send out proposals and people don't accept them. Like, you're going to get rejected. And that is okay. The thing to remember though, is that it does not affect your worth.

Your worth is a set point in the universe. So this is one thing that a mentor taught for me and it has helped me so much because I used to beat myself up about all these things and I used to think that I wasn't good enough and so. And so was better than me. And like, you start having all this negative thought, but if you think about you are a set point. Your worth is a set point in the universe.

It's just like if you take a $20 bill and you crumple it all up and then you open it back up, it's still worth $20. The worth doesn't change because of what has happened to it. And that's the same as you. Your worth doesn't change. It doesn't matter if someone wants to work with you or not. It doesn't affect your worth. Everything that happens to you is just an experience.

And so when you have things that are hard that happen, maybe this client that you are, like, really, really hoping for comes back and says, we're going a different direction. One thing that I always say when I'm in those hard moments is I say, this experience is perfect for me. I actually have a. An alarm that goes on my phone, and it goes off at some point during the day. It's just like a little reminder, and it says, this experience is perfect for you.

And I can't tell you how many times that has gone up. Right when it's the time that I'm like. Like, things are just not going right and it's not going the way that I thought, and then that comes up. And this experience is perfect for me because you. You get to learn from that experience. Every experience that you go through is a learning experience. It has nothing to do with your worth. So I want you to remember that. That you. Your worth is a set point in the universe.

Everything else is just an experience that is going to help you when you get through this imposter syndrome. Because imposter syndrome is just a lie. It's a lie trying to make you forget how amazing you really are.