Stressed Out? How to Manage Stress and Reset Your Nervous System

to you will feel. I'm Radivlukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry, we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Well, hello there, you absolutely wonderful human beings.

India at the beginning of the year. Jay and I take this trip to a place called Govden Eco Village every single year for our spiritual reset, but this year felt a little bit differ. We both came away from it feeling like we had gained so much, so much clarity, so many realizations, and some serious decompression that was needed after the year that we had had. But it also made me realize how deep rooted stress can be. The place we went to is beautiful. It has greenery everywhere,

it's in the middle of a forest. It's so quiet, it's peaceful. There are these beautiful temples scattered around the grounds. There are so many magical, sacred spaces. The sounds sound godly. The whole place feels like a spiritual world, and it was so it was the perfect environment to just feel stress free. But the first few days my mind was still so high strung. It was constantly asking me, what's next. You've got things to do. Stop sitting around. What we're

going to be doing now? Why are you not doing anything? Come on onto the next, onto the next. And you know what, that thought process and this constant anxious and stress inducing state is something any of us go through throughout our whole year. And look, the fact is that stress is just a part of life, whether it's work, deadlines, family drama, or trying to balance different parts of our life,

some larger stresses, some small, some expected some unexpected. But the thing is, without coping mechanisms and trying to tackle the emotions and mental pressure of it all on a regular basis, it can just build and build until it all just feels like too much. For me, that looks like locking myself in the dark room and crying. For others, it could lead to feelings of depression or high level anxiety, or just this feeling of this inability to actually function.

And you know the thing is, sometimes it becomes so normal for us to live in that state we don't even realize that we're living in a stress state. Stress can manifest in the body in so many different ways. Physically, it can show up as headaches or digestive issues, feeling tired all the time, even if you're sleeping a lot,

feeling restless or you can't fall asleep. It can cause appetite changes like binging or cravings, or you could lose your appetite completely. It can lead to hair loss or graying early. You can also tend to unhealthy habits like drinking or drugs, and other signs are things like jaw clenching, which sometimes you don't even realize you're doing until you wake up in the morning and your jaw is hurting so much.

during the day, I stress sleep too. I've gone through periods where I'm actually waking up crying because whatever I was stressed about or anxious about has actually come into my dream and become a reality in my dream. And I've woken up with tears pouring out of my eyes. And so even if we're trying to pretend like it doesn't exist, somehow, our body, our mind, it's feeling it every single moment that we are feeling it. I also find things like nail biting or fidgeting, or trying to

overplan or become a perfectionist. I notice when I feel like I'm out of control of things in my life, or I'm stressed out about other parts of my life. I become an organizer. I become a hyper planner. I want to control everything because it makes sense, right when we feel like we're out of control of something else, we try to control other parts of my life that feel controllable. So it's a very natural response. But these are all signs that you might be just a little

bit too stressed. Now I know that these could also be signs of other things. There's so many different signs that I just mention and it could be due to other things. But usually if you really stop to think about it, your body and your mind will tell you whether you are stressed or not, or that something's just not right. But in case you're unsure whether you are stressed or not and you.

really understand what I'm going through. The first one is am I feeling physically tense or exhausted even after resting. The second one to ask yourself is am I having trouble sleeping or concentrating. The third one is am I feeling easily irritated or overwhelmed by everyday tasks. It's like your top gets caught on the doorknob and suddenly you just burst out in tears.

your day to day life. Are you eating the right foods for your mental state, for your physical body to nourish it to do all the things that you were doing to cope with the stress that you were going through. Are you sleeping in the right way? Are you creating the right environment around you? You know, the basic things that you need to actually create optimal health and optimal living. Are you neglecting those when you use to prioritize them. And the last one is what are the most repeated

thoughts I am having in my day? Usually sometimes you only need to ask that one question, what am I thinking about regularly? What are the repeated thoughts that are going through my mind? And when you notice that they are more anxious thoughts or more negative thoughts, and it's out of balance compared to the positive thoughts or the grateful thoughts, or the thoughts that life is good and great and I can do this and I'm happy and

I'm well. But your mind is telling you all the bad things that are happening in your life more than that, then that can be a sign that you're imbalanced. Because the things that you think about is what you become. And so the more you think about the things that are stressing you out, the more you think about the negative things, the more you see the negative things, and

then that is exactly what we end up becoming. And so those are the five questions that I recommend you ask yourself to really assess whether you are stressed if you're in denial. If the answer is yes to a lot of these, then it's probably an indication that you are in need of my Ultimate Stress Reset Formula. And

this is something that I have created because I've gone through a lot of stressful moments in my life. I used to be a highly anxious person. I still can ebb and flow through being that, and so I would feel very stressed and very anxious, and it would kind of take over and encapsulate me, even when it was small, even when it was something I knew wasn't something to be that anxious about. It would just take over my

entire body and mind. And so I created these three steps after reflecting on how I got myself out of those moments and how I've got to this stage where I'm able to really manage those stressful times and those anxious moments so much better.

you through them one by one step one stop. First off, we need to get you out of your head. You need to stop the rat race, get yourself off that hamster wheel of thoughts and take a look at what

is actually happening, get the bigger picture, take a step back for a second and see what's truly going on. Most of the time, our stress feels bigger because we do not stop thinking about it. And where energy goes is what grows. So the more you think about the things that make you stress, finally enough, the more stress to you will feel. And that feels pretty simple and logical. But when you're constantly on the go and you're choosing not to think about it, that realization is really important.

woo thing that is actually not going to help me. But listen to me when I say there is so much scientific evidence behind breathwork, more so than the pills that you are popping. So if you are skeptical about breathwork, the proof is in the pudding. All you have to do is try.

change your whole mood. And I'm not saying that it's going to take away what you're stressed about, but I can guarantee it will give you the clarity and calm that you need to be able to handle whatever it is that you are going through without feeling overwhelmed. So we're going to take in. We're going to do this together. Come on, people, Okay, let's get in the zone. If you can close your eyes listeners in the car, please

do not close your eyes. We're going to take one deep breath in for one, two three four, hold a little bit at the top, and then breathe out for one, two three four. I'm going to take the breath so you can hear it at the same time and continue to do this with me for another five breaths. As you're breathing in, you should feel your stomach coming outwards and expanding, And as you're breathing out, you should feel

your stomach contracting and going inward. Honestly, just me taking those two breaths with you, my whole mind feels calmer. I feel like I'm speaking slower. I feel so much more clear in my mind. And that's a simple box breath. You breathe in for four, you hold it at the top for like a couple of seconds, and then you

let go for four. And it is that simple. You can do that for five minutes or even a couple of minutes, or multiple times throughout the day, every time you notice little signs or symptoms of stress picking up. And if that one wasn't enough for you, if you're like, you know what, give me something more. I've been doing that breath work for a while now I'm an expert. Give me another one. Another breath work I love doing is breathing in and then almost make a sighing sound

on the way out. So let me do it for you.

It gets things out of your body, and it just creates a different environment, and it helps to remove these stagnant thoughts which are trapped inside of our mind, helps to release them. So those two simple breathworks. There are so many more I could teach you, but honestly, let's keep it simple.

after it. So you take a deep breath in and you do this when you come out, and that's actually such a calming breathwork to do. Even within one you'll notice a difference. Also, one thing, I'm a victim of this, and I don't know whether you are, but I'll share it anyway. You need to stop trying to fix the issue right away. Oh my god, I'm such a fixer. Whether it's something I'm anxious about or something someone else is anxious about, I'm like, I have to fix it

straight away, find the solution. But the thing is, trying to solve anything in a stress state is never going to be as effective or efficient as solving it in a calm state. Stress often feels worse because we pressure ourselves into solving the problem instantly. But you might not have the answer right now, and that's also okay, And if you try to force the answer, you'll probably get it wrong or do the wrong thing. Your mind is

basically like a snow globe. When you shake it, you literally can't see anything in there, and that's pretty much what your mind in emotions look like when you are stressed. As soon as the snow settles, you are more likely to see clearly and take better steps. Towards fixing it. Sometimes clarity comes when you stop forcing it. The next step is called recalibrate.

which is, unfortunately how our mind.

of wild horses. The villagers said, oh my goodness, what great fortune you have, and again the farmer replied, good thing, bad thing, who knows. Soon after that, the farmer's son tried to tame one of the wild horses, and he broke his leg in the process. The villagers once again gathered and said, what terrible misfortune you have, and the farmer, once again, calm as before, said, good thing, bad thing, who knows. Not long After that, the army came to

the village recruiting young men for the war. Because the farmer's son was injured, he was sped. The villagers marveled to the farmer, but he simply said, good thing, bad thing.

you cannot. Recalibrating means giving your mind a mental reset that helps you to shift from fight or flight to pause and plan, because you know what, especially if you've been through a lot and been through a negative mind

space for a while. Even though positivity feels attractive and you may know theoretically it's where you want to live, it feels difficult and sometimes it feels unfamiliar if we haven't been there in a long while, and so It just takes these constant recalibrations to retrain and rewire our mind's reactions to the stresses that we feel in life. So let me make this a little bit more practical for you, and let me share the ways that you

can actually recalibrate. The first one is zoom out. Imagine your whole entire life as a time line and see

where you are right now. Will this issue that you are stressed out about matter in a week, or a month or a year. Write down what impact this stressor could have in your life in the future, and if it still feels big, create a roadmap to the steps that you need to take to resolve it. I know for me, whenever I'm stressed out or anxious with work or life, I really have to map it out. And once I do and I have created those steps, it

feels way less scary and way more manageable. You get to truly see it for what it is, rather than what your imagination has convinced you it is. When you were a little girl or a little boy, do you remember imagining what the ghosts or the little monster under or the big monster under your bed look like? Oh, my gosh, my imagination was wild, it would be the

most horrific monster that I'd ever seen. I couldn't even pat my toe out of my bed without imagining it was going to get engulfed by the teeth of this crazy monster.

which is release. But before that, I'm going to give you a couple more options on how you can recalibrate, or you can do all of these together as well. By the way, the second one is gratitude. I know ill sometimes hearing be grateful when you're stressed out is the most annoying thing ever. And I do believe you can be stressed and grateful at the same time. It doesn't mean you have to sub out your stress for the gratitude. Even though people will tell you that I

don't think it's true. Maybe it is, but I have an experience that I find that there is a beauty and duality, the idea that you can be sad and happy at the same time, the idea that you can be stressed and grateful at the same time for different things happening in your life. So taking a couple of minutes to just think or write down the things that you are grateful for at least starts to boost your happy hormones in your body, giving you a little more

balance and a little more hope. Even if the things you're grateful for are totally unrelated to the stress, your mind feels the feelings of being happy and then begins to create more pathways towards that feeling. So I know gratitude can feel ill sometimes when someone recommends it when you're feeling angry, stressed, or anxious. But people go on about it for a reason, and you can still be stressed if you want to, but at least be grateful for the other things in your life at the same time.

The next thing you have to do is take a break from the problem. One way I find that is incredible. To get my mind out of things is to serve, to do service somewhere, whether it's me going to give my grammar massage, always going to vunteer at a hospital and reading a book to somebody. I recently volunteered for victims of the LA fires that have happened. I went to a donation center in LA And you know what, serving and giving back to someone else in some way, and if it's in a tiny way like I did,

it is such a beautiful antidote for your anxiety. It takes you out of me miyan I and into a space of service. Helping others is so soothing for the mind and the song. And if you don't feel like helping others, do something to take your attention to something else. Make that stress work for you rather than against you.

Use that energy and redirect it. Whether that's a good aggressive workout, whether that's reading a thrilling book, going out with some friends, whatever it is, just do something else. Don't sit there thinking about all the thoughts that are running through your head. And physical activity is probably the best option because it lowers our stress hormones and increases our happy hormones. So the more you move, the better

you'll feel. They said, you reminds me of a really funny trend that I did recently where someone says, I don't know why, but I've been feeling really down lately, and then their friend says, Okay, well, have you been eating well? No?

going to make you feel better. And one thing I love doing is I have I mean, I have this checklist in my mind now, but I recommend this to people who are trying to get themselves out of their funks a bit faster. One of the things is making a list, like a checklist of five things. Do these before I sit in my sadness, do these before I sit in my anger, do these before I sit in my anxiety. And list out your five things that you

are going to do. And once you've done all those fives, if you still don't feel better, I will give you the permission to sit in whatever emotion you're feeling. But until you've done those five, don't let yourself.

I'll help you. You know what, I actually realize I've been using the words stress and anxiety interchangeably in this, but really stress is your body's response to all the external things that happen, and anxiety is more internal. I

guess it's the feelings and emotions and reactions that your mind has to the issues or the pressures that are external. So stress is a response to a situation, and anxiety, I guess is more about how your mind interprets.

and sometimes things are completely out of your capacity and abilities to fix it.

a prayer. I give this to you. I give my anxiety,

I give my stress, I give all my fears. I'm handing them over to you because right now I can't control them. I surrender all of these things, my thoughts, my anxieties, my stress, and my emotions. I'm surrendering them to you. Most of the time, this helps give clarity to me of the things that I can actually let go of, all the things that I really should take action on and change in my life to relieve the

stress that I'm feeling. Some things are on you and some things are out of your control, and this helps to figure out the difference. If you're someone that's not used to prayer, maybe you don't believe in God, maybe you're going through a crisis on whether you do or don't believe in God.

belt from your belly. My favorite thing is getting in the car, putting on a song and just singing my heart out. You might cry, you might laugh, But when you have all these emotions up inside of you, it is only a matter of time till you burst. Emotions am in to flow through you, not live in you. You have to feel it and let it flow. You can write out and burn it, or say to yourself in a mirror, whatever your method is, just make sure you get it out of your system. Releasing is not

about denial, it's about freedom. By letting go of what you can't control, you will reclaim your energy and mental space for solutions and what really matters out with the old, so you can handle whatever new comes at you. The thing is, when our stresses keep piling up and piling up and piling up, when we don't deal with them, there has to be a breaking point. There has to be a bursting point, and so we have to with whatever comes our way. You have to learn how to receive,

process and release. The more you keep in you, the less you'll be able to handle what comes at you. So we have to create this system in our mind and in our body to recognize when something's being harbored within us and how to let go of them. I really hope that this was useful and I truly hope that it helps you through your moments of stress. I would love to hear your feedback if you did make it all the way to the end of this episode,

let me know if this was useful, if you do try these tips or tricks, and let me know what else you want to have a little discussions about. I'd love to hear your thoughts and recommendations of topics to cover. Let me know what you're dealing with at the moment, and I will do my best to help you in whatever capacity I can. Sending your so much love and I hope you have such a wonderful week ahead, and don't forget you can cry if you want to.