Episode description
Episode description
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G'day Fearmongers,
Sadly there's no Jan Fran Has Issues this week as all of our producers at F&K Media have been sidelined with COVID19 — instead enjoy this 10 minute sample of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival live show to hear the full thing before it goes on the free feed in a week's time.
If you want to hear the full thing — sign up to Patreon!
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0:00
If we're really good at Dean stuff up in Australia and making sure it can feel the rest of the world
0:14
good I feel mongers Dan Ilic. Here. There is no Jad Fran has issues this week because unfortunately, everyone on the production team has COVID-19 COVID-19 in 2022, can you believe it, but so behind the times in our team, so instead we are letting our good team rest and regain their energy because we don't break anyone. And instead, I'm giving you a free 10 minute sample of the irrational fear Melbourne International Comedy Festival live show, which is only available to our Patreon subscribers exclusively for one more week. And if you want to hear the full thing, please sign up to our Patreon like these awesome people have this month so big shout out to these people Laura Maya David pickers, Gwen Harper, Katie Maltby, Deborah Reedy, Bernadette Mortlock, Jen Mackenzie, Felicity nibs Tracy man Tiger Lily KitKat snark, St. Catherine Ford puzzling a Tassie storm Thank you puzzling what has he storm? Tom read Ozzie Jim Fein 11 Rich talk well Nam Blusky sous good on your sous Ella Griffis Tony canard, Jonathan freckle Akira unveiled Daniel Harvey, Zachary Kendall, Lucy Bauer, Michael Lynch, and AJ Heiko Val. Oh my goodness, so many people have signed up this month. So big thank you, it really makes a difference. It basically means we can pay our producers to put the show on every week. And and we can, you know, pay people to appear on the show, which is something a lot of other podcasts don't do. And that's really cool. So please, thank you very much. Here is the first 10 minutes of our festival show from last week. If you want to hear the full thing she had been to irrational fear on Patreon. And we'll be back next week with a brand new episode of Jan Fran has issues. Oh, and also, we've got our 10 year anniversary show at the Opera House June for so if you're in Sydney, please go to the Sydney Opera House and buy a ticket there. Luis is going to be there. I'm going to be there. Mark Humphries is going to be there and I've asked a few other excellent people to be there too. It's going to be so do come along June 4 at the Sydney Opera House. Enjoy this live show. It's a crackup, probably one of our best ever live shows. Well worth signing up for the patreon to hear the full thing before it becomes free in seven days. See you.
2:33
Thank you so much for coming here. This is amazing. Oh my
2:36
god. Wow. You know, when our producer said, Do you want the 200 seats, the 300 seat or the 800 seat? I said, give us the 800 seat. We'll fill it almost. And I said give me the MCG right tonight shows a bit of a different kind of show. If you come to Comedy Festival. This is a podcast recording I'm sorry.
2:58
It basically just means fewer jokes. Lower the expectation,
3:03
but you get some discounts on a great mattress. It's gonna be great. We're gonna put on a great show regardless, but you have to do your job as a great audience. Can you be a great audience? Fantastic. So part of that, you know, laughing clapping cheering whistling all of that. That's good stuff. That is good stuff. But heckling is
3:20
what's the opinion on like, flares out? No flare, pyrotechnics of any kind. No pirates weapons Bad.
3:28
Very bad unless they
3:29
have to get rid of some stuff. Twain What about Twain,
3:33
Shania Twain. Perfect. So heckling is a little tricky. If you do hecho you'll be removed faster than a liberal who's won pre selection who made the Lebanese so you'll be out you'll be straight out of there, straight out of there. Now if you think someone next year is going to do something, just give them a stern look. The kind of look my mum gives her friends when she's got to explain what I do for a job
3:59
that you do the tree brothers are so much better than you.
4:01
I know. They are really lovely. So we're making this a safe space for you and our people on stage. Can you do that for me? Right. We also going to cover some pretty tricky topics. Okay, so and we've got a lot of foul language. A lot of adult words will be flung at you but there will be puns as well. The worst kind of should give you full warning and that Alice Fraser is here. She's brought all the puns she has. If something does trigger you something gives you an easy feelings. Sophie Minetti is over at the sound desk over there she's waving by the sound desk if you need to talk to someone during the show. Go have a chat with Sophie or afterwards as well. We've got a place you guys can go All right great. What else we're gonna do here Oh, big thank you to our Patreon supporters. Here we got one right here. Big thank you Tim. Thank you.
4:49
I feel this like like when you get on a plane and they're like oh big thank you to our Qantas oneworld customers. You can
4:58
see more merch here you You You're a Patreon supporter. Oh, fantastic. Oh my God.
5:05
Is there anyone here tonight who's never heard of the podcast and doesn't know why they're here?
5:13
You're fine. You're about to find out sign up to get a poster. I certainly get the show. Right. Let's
5:18
do it. Let's get this show started. But the other quick thing is right at the start, Dan likes to do three jokes. And there are varying quality. But I would really appreciate it if for the benefit of those listening at home, you laugh so loudly. He, he really made his brothers and so much better than he really needs this.
5:39
Thank you, Louis. All right. We're recording this episode of irrational fear on Wonderland in the Kulin nation, sovereignty was never seated. We need a treaty. Let's start the show.
5:54
For everybody go gang prepping for irrational fear with Grace team making the transition to a comedy stage. Any advice video?
6:01
Yes, Grace. First, you've got to just start by really trusting the stage you're on. I know. It can be really scary. always like, Oh my God, is it gonna collapse? But chances are it won't even just Creek and fall under you.
6:13
Yeah, right. Well, I have been on a few stage just before.
6:18
Yeah, yeah. But this is a comedy stage and much like the comedians on those stages. They're very unstable on the inside.
6:27
Any advice for hecklers Gaby?
6:29
It's what I mean, it's, it's a horrible person yelling horrible things at you. And we don't know why it happens. And I know that that might not have happened to you before. But like, it's just you know, it's a part of the comedy world, you know.
6:45
I reckon I've been a wreck and I've been abused before. Oh,
6:51
yeah, of course. Yeah. No, of course, horse you
6:56
know, of course, saying stuff on stage. That's an important part of this right? Often I find it's funny because it's true. So you might just want to go on stage and just say the truth.
7:07
Look, I'll give it a crack. Trust that the audience on your side and yeah, believe in yourself, I suppose. That's actually
7:18
really good advice.
7:19
Good way of looking at things. I might just read that. Yeah, yeah. Good advice. I think that could really help us Yeah.
7:30
irrational fear contains naughty words like bricks and sticks of rational fear, recommend listening might you mature audience.
7:45
Tonight, Scott Morrison receives a hostile reception at a new costume pub, to which Scott Morrison said I reject the premise of the statement. It's the same kind of reception I get everywhere. And the Australian Grand Prix returns to Melbourne for the first time in two years. When asked how excited that the race is back in Australia January, Ricardo said and the election has finally been cooled. But we're running out of time for Peter Dutton to call a party remaining to roll Scott Boras says icon this is a rational rational
Welcome to irrational fear. I'm your host, former pre selected liberal candidate for Cooktown illage. And you're listening to irrational fear at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, the petri dish of Australian culture and COVID-19 So thank you for coming here and risking your life for a comedy podcast. Really appreciate that. This is the podcast that takes the scariest news and laughs in its face much the same way. Scott Morrison laughs in the face of a Commonwealth integrity commission with no retrospective powers. Let's make our fear mongers for tonight. Every few weeks our first fear monger starts a new satirical comedy podcast from the bugle the gargle tea with Alice and the Joe Rogan experience experience. It's Alice Fraser. I haven't listened to the Joe Rogan experience experience. What's it all about?
9:26
Oh, I think people are too scared of Joe Rogan. I think he's just a perfectly nice comedy meathead who accidentally got caught in a toxic spill at the masculinity factory.
9:35
And she's the lyrical satirical miracle that isn't here to the empirical let's get him out. Gabby, this is your first ever Melbourne Comedy Festival as a solo artist and you're already selling out what's your secret? Money laundering
9:49
mostly. Works well.
9:52
And he's a military man who just got married starring people. He's off the market. He's the purveyor of Wagga. Wagga is fine as dad jokes It's Dane Simpson. Now, I actually got that wrong. Sorry, Dana. You are the finest purveyor of jokes about your dad specifically. Does he mind? He's too stupid understand. And each morning he siphons the blood of 322 year olds to keep himself fresh from a national youth broadcaster. It's triple Jays last remaining geriatric millennial Louis harbor. Lewis, how do you keep up with the Gen Zed logo? The Gen Zed lingo?
10:34
How do I keep up with the Gen Zed lingo? Yeah, I mean, I like to just fuse it with lingo from my own time to make it easy. I'll say something like, have you? Pardon me boys? Is that the Chattanooga Choo
10:48
it's lit and he's immunity musical genius who is genetically gifted? It is Andy McClellan. Oh, thank you. I just need to promote my extremely nice Gilbert and Sullivan themes Comedy Festival. Come along, and they're a changemaker cage Rattler, Dragon Slayer and she represented Australia in the 50 meter side I it's based.
Race How does one train for the 50 meter sider?
11:28
Well, like the legend Don Bradman? I practice against a wall every day.
11:34
Coming up later in the show, we are Zoe Daniel if this sign is big enough, or legal enough, but first a message from this week's sponsor, now it is not cheap to rent out the forum. So I hope you'll forgive our sponsor for tonight. It's called oil cares. A petroleum advocacy group dedicated to letting you know that oil. Well cares. Please welcome their spokesperson Vidya Rajan for a quick word on women apparently, video.
12:09
Yes, Dad oil cares about you about me and especially about women. Oil loved woman. Patriarchy has kept both oil and woman in ground for too long. I'm mushy. Hey, did you know BP actually stands for boss policy? Squad? Yes. Goals? Yes. Grace tame the anti fracking lobby. Look, we love all sis and trans continental pipelines for sis and trans oil
13:00
Thank you. Good job. Well, folks, the election is finally upon us. Today the Prime Minister and prominent gas man Scott Morrison called the election at the last possible date he legally could which continues to prove just how his government is run by the Engadine doctrine. That is the principle of Miring and indecision until the march of time forces action upon you. You know like like shooting yourself in an egg in a McDonald's.
13:34
Can you help yourself everyone got a dad I know. Everyone's got these ads he made sure
13:41
I had to explain that for my dad who
is slowly fading that out. You know it's it's too good. I know you want to hear more of it. To hear the full thing go to patreon.com forward slash a rational fear chipping for as little as $4.50 that is like the cost of a cup of coffee chipping once a month. That photons 50 cups to us. You're paying giving us a coffee a month and which means we can put on the show so please go to irrational fear.com Or go to patreon.com forward slash rational fear. See you next week with a brand new Jad friend has issued
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