32. What Is Self Care and Why Should It Matter To You (1/7)

yes. So I did do that. And uh, you know, I did that because I race luckily text you when it was over. So I actually didn't do while I was on holiday. I didn't get the opportunity to on holiday because although I was with my sister's family, we actually we're not next to each other. So there was quite a lot of texting back and forth like when we're in our rooms like in the morning and stuff to get everybody out into the same place. So didn't really work on holiday. But the next day so we got back on Friday night. And then Saturday we had a wedding. So I checked my phone Friday nights where I went to bed. And what I did, because I knew that I was going to be tempted and I knew that I was going to like go back on it and like think of excuses why I shouldn't do it, you know didn't put my phone on to charge so it had been used as like a sat nav and stuff or Fridays it was really low battery and then I didn't charge it Friday night. So I didn't look at it Saturday morning at all, which was just torture while I was getting ready for the wedding, and then before I left didn't even check it but I was pretty sure it probably ran out of battery or if it hadn't run out. It was about to run out because it was only at like 10% the night before. So I went to the wedding without a phone which was Do you know what to begin with? I found it a bit difficult because it wasn't a wedding for people I knew it was a friend of Jamie's so I didn't know that the groom but I didn't know any of his friends. So I think to begin with I find it quite nerve wracking because I probably would have been like glancing at my phone a little bit by by sort of middle part of the day. I just sort of got used to not having it and I think I'd probably spoke to people a lot more than if I'd had the phone.

You know, I'm actually really proud of you because it means that you've done it and I know I know I've actually wound you up over this but I still am really proud that you've done here so congrats to you for doing it. I didn't think you were going to be able to do it. I thought you were going to fail. Not that if you did fail that would have been a problem. Why didn't you walk but I think why didn't you work is it's just funny and I just love doing it. So yeah I am proud of you. Not something that I'm going to try anytime soon. But

I don't know that I will do it again. Like it was sort of nice at the time and I would definitely consider not taking my phone to a wedding. But the whole being away from it for 24 hours was yeah yeah, it was stressful. And I don't feel like since then, it's made me put my phone down more. I don't think it's really impacted anything so maybe I didn't do it properly enough because I didn't do the super extreme. Don't even speak to anybody. I just literally did a digital detox so maybe I do need to do like super extreme, but definitely no time soon. Anyway, let's get on with the episode for today. So we're going to be talking about self care. And it's a term that is used a lot. It's become a really popular like buzzword in certain sort of personal development circles. But a lot of people can be unclear about what it actually means and what it involves. And so it's not just about sort of taking care of yourself. It goes deeper than that. So I thought initially let's have a discussion about what self care is. Before we get into the main part of the episode.

Okay, so self care. What is it? You know, we all talk about self care, but what does it mean? It basically means caring for yourself. It means nurturing your mind your body. Your Spirit also means building up your internal resources as well so that you don't become depleted because if you're constantly on the go, you're not having time to relax and and do the things that you want to do. You can get really stressed really angry and you can suffer from more and more mental health problems. And it's also another way of showing your self compassion and to be vulnerable with others by asking for help when you need it as well because that's part of self care. It's about caring for yourself and asking for support and help when you need it. And that doesn't mean using destructive mechanisms like gambling, alcohol, drugs, those things I wouldn't personally class those are self care because they only really help in the short term. And make it worse long term as well. So that is basically what self care is in a nutshell. But I like to refer to self care as if you think about it this way, a little bit like self respect. So if you think about self care as you're respecting yourself, so everything you do is coming from the fact that you're respecting yourself. So when you look at it from that, that aspect, self care, self respect, it means that you're just respecting your boundaries, it means you're respecting your body, you're respecting your mental health. Absolutely,

So the title of the study is self care and well being in mental health professionals meditating effects of self awareness. And so in this study, they looked specifically at mental health professionals because they're very susceptible to burnout that can affect their clinical work negatively. So it's really important from an ethical standpoint that they engage in self care. So what this survey revealed is that mindfulness is a significant mediator between self care and wellbeing, and as a result, they have encouraged mental health professionals to explore their beliefs. And involvement in self care practices. So I just thought that was quite a nice little sort of warm up study. We're going to do a lot more over the course of this sort of self care series. But I thought this was just a nice little introduction to the fact that self care does have proven benefits. On the rest of your life, and mindfulness and mindfulness. Yes, mindfulness is an important part of self care. So with the science firmly rooted in today's episode, let's move on to what are the benefits of self care. So I think this can be really difficult for people to grasp if they're used to people pleasing, always putting others first particularly if you're in some sort of caring role. It's really easy to always put other people's needs ahead of your own. But when you give all of your energy to others without filling your own cup first, it just leaves you depleted

and empty. Yeah, I think, you know, we like to think don't we that helping others is self care for ourselves and in some way helping other people. Yes, that is a way of caring for other people and yourself and I'm not saying people shouldn't care for other people. That's not what I'm saying. But if you're constantly, your mood revolves around or the people, you're constantly trying to help with the people and you're not helping yourself. That's where the difficulties Well, that's where things start becoming a problem. And that's where you can really start neglecting yourself. So that's the reason why we're saying that because we do believe that self care starts with putting yourself first and giving your energy to other people sometimes deplete your own. But the next one that we've got here and another benefit is spending time and effort on yourself, which is just that ties in nicely what I've just said there, because spending time doing the things that you enjoy, I like gardening. I'm sure that Charlotte's got loads of things that she enjoys doing as well. When you take time to do these different things, hobbies, whatever you enjoy, it rejuvenates you it energises you and it just makes your day or your week just feel so much better. And it's another form of self care. Really,

yeah, it's important to take time out for your own interests and focusing on your needs teaches you not only about yourself, but how to be the best version of yourself as well. And I think it's worth highlighting because you said about you know, you can't just constantly take care of others you need to take care of yourself. You know, if you're someone that really struggles with that concept, it's really worth bearing in mind that you'll be able to take care of others better when you take time to make your own needs fulfilled.

Yeah. And also it gives you a boost as well doesn't it gives you more self confidence. It improves your self esteem. So there's loads of different areas that can suck a knock on effect a bit like a domino really. Once you do one thing then another thing happens as well. So, you know, all of these things lead to the same principle, which is that you should care for yourself. And that self care is really important, which I know I keep saying but it's so easy. That's why we're doing seven episodes on

it. Exactly. Yeah, I don't think we've actually said that halfway. Oh no, we did at the very beginning. I'm sure we did at the beginning when during the seven part series all focused on self care, because it's so important. So I think we'll briefly discuss some examples of self care. We're not going to dive too deep into it. This is sort of almost like a warm up episode we're going to do a lot deeper dives into fitting self care into your life and what that could look like. But just as sort of an overview of things that you can do that sort of come into the umbrella of self care. So it's basically activities that are enjoyable to you, but also provide you benefits. So things like potentially going for a walk in nature. Some people find exercise really helps. Things like running yoga, going to the gym. Clearly I'm not one of these people.

Movie gave me sort of aiming to go for a run. It's not going to be up your streets, but things that you could do. Spending time with friends. That's really great. For self care, sort of socialising, yet can connecting with people, but I would say equally as well, learning to say no. So declining invitations. When you're feeling rundown, and when you're low because that's something that's really really hard to do, isn't it? You know, definitely not feeling your best and someone's invited you to something there's that pressure that you know, you've got to attend. We're actually sometimes it would be better to just say no and take some time for yourself. So both of those would fall under self care. And then you've got the sort of the generic ones that are bandied about a lot. So things to relax, you like taking a bath meditating, good movie, all that sort of stuff, all those all those

things that you want to indulge in. Yeah, I think those are the those are. They're a bit more self indulgent. But and they don't have long term benefits like taking a bath or you know watching a good movie, but they feel good either they make you feel good. So whatever it is, that makes you feel good in that moment. Yeah, maybe you need to do more of it. I like to go outside and just look at the stars. Sometimes it's really small. It's really tiny, but it makes me understand that there is a universe and I am part of it, and that things will pass so so you are lighting a candle and watching the flame. I think this small important thing. I like that as well as just the flame and the sound of it just silence and flame. You need real life problems. Silence and a fly a

little bit creepy there but it's fine, fine. So our little kicker this week is gonna be something a little bit different. So rather than giving you something we're going to ask you to join. So ask you to come and join us over on social media. So we're on Facebook Instagram, Twitter, Tik Tok, you name it, we're on it somewhere. And our handle is at a dopamine kick. And what we're going to be doing over this seven part series, is we're going to be giving away loads of tips strategies, and we'd like you to come on a journey with us towards embracing self care. So this isn't going to be like airy stare, stereos airy fairy stuff. It's going to be hands on actionable tips and strategies that you can use in your everyday life. And sort of the aim is to improve your life and the life of those around you by making sure that you are your best self through the practice of self care. So I think that the place where we'll have most of our conversation is over in our Facebook group. But if you're not on Facebook and you want to reach out on any of our other social platforms, please feel free and you know we're more than happy to talk to you and hopefully we'll have fun together on this seven week journey. I think that's everything for episode one. Yeah.