I’m so hot to trot right now. Stay cool while we’re entering a spinning picture cut-scene, falling out of the sky, stealing crashed balloon parts, disregarding mortality, beating perverted slime balls, attempting a ritual, shitting on a tradesman, regretting the fool mirror purchase, choosing bow or cane, producing kindergartener music, simulating the rocking of mother, corrupting a song with monsters, blowing chunks, dreaming of a green-eyed boy, and sulking in a hut while we repeatedly listen ...
Jun 23, 2025•1 hr 14 min•Season 7Ep. 34
Why don’t you come with me? I’m going to take us to a cool place…a podcast. In such a place we’re becoming a Thieves Guild member, recalling petty crime stories, developing a third ulcer, spanking another bottom, maintaining the fortune teller bit, calling Ramus a “chuckoid,” handing over the blueprints, indulging in floating bug science, encouraging interest in horticulture, bonus dreaming, chilling in a volcano, walking through the flames, and heavily criticizing a dragon’s appearance. I’ll ne...
Jun 16, 2025•1 hr 7 min•Season 7Ep. 33
Knowledge is meaningless if it’s not shared with others. Just like podcasts, especially when we’re possessing the cornerstone that may become the foundation, confirming remastered butt crack, procuring special knowledge, wishing we were playing N.A.R.C., gaining entrance, neglecting typo correction in the remaster, loving pop quizzes, testing the power of friendship, controlling force, blowing out chocolate chunks, refusing to help yellers, farting old, inventing new typos, appreciating Victor, ...
Jun 09, 2025•1 hr 8 min•Season 7Ep. 32
You will live forever. And you will never be alone…as long as you’re listening to us fancying a brain lick, nailing non-relatives, regrettably identifying with Nash, pissing wickedly, joshin’ guys, biologically challenging a pervert, referencing “♫♫ diarrhea ♫♫ diarrhea ♫♫,” getting secret words in a notebook, smelling like booze, wetting a pig trough at sloppin’ time, rejecting klan slogans, consulting a magic mirror, readin’ self helpin’ books, talking a bit about Lunar Remastered, shattering ...
Jun 02, 2025•58 min•Season 7Ep. 31
Let the scrubbing commence. Once clean, we’re deploying a burgle, only robbing the rich folks, assuming Reza’s city planners were children, reading the big book of suckers, imagining “podcasting town,” falling off a high horse, tangling undergarments, giving up all passions, becoming the next Chutney Dallas, looping family trees like clover, purifying the soul, feeling manly dirt, fixin’ that ice grime, having intercourse communion, and pre-visiting inventor town. Work Hard. Learn Much. Steal Al...
May 26, 2025•1 hr 16 min•Season 7Ep. 30
This is the perfect time to be drinking. With your ears. To us designing secret behavior oppression systems, using outdated language, concentrating blue hair divinity, baking “nookie cookies,” wolf whistling a queen, remembering Barney violence, realizing she’s jailbait, finally referencing Seinfeld, bumping off, getting rid of the magic gimp, chewing on a tongue, escalating an argument, corrupting a save file, sacrificing liquor to god, and getting burgled at Reza. With hard work, and bad hygie...
May 19, 2025•1 hr 13 min•Season 7Ep. 29
When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you…in the form of a podcast, where we’re suffering cursed mask after effects, removing a reference to childbirth, grossly misinterpreting “girl group,” requiring Nash’s friendship, setting out on a Dragon Quest, sleeping with the fishes, panty raiding, listening to ABBA all day long, reading a diary to go insane, spanking another bottom, over-inflating a bimbo, letting emotions overrule common sense, demanding anime in society, releasing weasel, adding ...
May 12, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Season 7Ep. 28
Are you being able to look into my brain magically? Are you able to ear listen to us yearning for days of wine and song, creating a Hot Rod situation, making sure this Bud’s for you, speaking with bad grammar, calling dad by his first name, focusing on the world of nature, staying in the closet, ogling stuff we don’t need, establishing the prescient NPC, getting drunk after an argument, building a body for sin, bringing out the slipper-kisser in me, reliving the trauma of the past, and falling d...
May 05, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 7Ep. 27
Down here, it doesn’t matter. Down here, we’re loving when a town turns into a dungeon, keeping the Ramus Shop vibes intact, starting a signal fire, CAPITALIZING words ARBITRARILY, ethically debating nude fortune telling, yacking all over shoes, asking for booze, screaming like a cat in heat, frying bastards alive, exploring tomato broiling technology, really getting into the weeds with flame broilers, getting dad stoned, reading Mel’s book titles, and reminiscing Larry Johnson and the value of ...
Apr 28, 2025•1 hr 7 min•Season 7Ep. 26
It’s painful when the memories return too suddenly. It’s less painful when we’re stealing villagers for mining work, blowing up a tombstone, revealing Chris’ ultimate weirdo secret, counting action figures, seeding rumors of a beautiful singer, shaking the faith of the faithful, extracting lore from the library, taking over the world for non-sexual reasons, psychologically torturing mom, realizing Alex is the last potential Dragon Master, guessing the next three plot points, mistrusting handsome...
Apr 21, 2025•58 min•Season 7Ep. 25
I have so many frightening dreams these days. You have so many Lunar podcasts. This one’s got us getting villainously angry at Dyne’s Monument, locating a prescient Burg resident, being last beheld, refusing to forgive a loss-causing world, sending in the clowns, executing the perfect anime betrayal, speculating jokerification points, staring a dragon equipment collection, becoming a nasty little stain, mixing titillation with fear, asking Ghaleon to not kill one specific guy, threatening to bit...
Apr 14, 2025•1 hr 12 min•Season 7Ep. 24
Once more into the poopy pit. Inside that mess we’re aspiring to the rank of Dragonmaster, misunderstanding Jessica’s social cues, hijacking the seas, letting Jessica cook in Silver Star Harmony, blowing up food, sleeping on the floor, getting my dinghy wet, better concealing the evil in our hearts, hitting Alex with a Trolley Problem, refusing to sign cleavage, suggesting a three way, repairing the marriage for the kid, avoiding hag sister friendship, debunking Fulari, and living a Total Elimin...
Apr 07, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Season 7Ep. 23
Enough with the googoo eyes, you geek. All you need is googoo ears to hear us forcing Mia to take control of the Magic Guild, sequence breaking a heel turn, addressing a problem but refusing to solve it, sniffing Mia’s bed sheets, beating the shit out of Lemia, using knowledge of the past to deal with the present, seeking to get railed, ogling at a birdy leggy bromide, becoming a sensual tomboy, only hiring pretty ladies, playing music from Eternal Blue, and marveling at Mary’s lust for Sega CD ...
Mar 31, 2025•1 hr 12 min•Season 7Ep. 22
Show all the true soul of this imposter. Show your ears the tales of us demonstrating bravery, wearing underthings on the dome, prohibiting weapons at church, restoring memory with song, kidnapping singers for occult rituals, going Full Mom, predicting anime, desiring evil mommy punishment, blinging the dragon ring, passing back through the Cave of Trial, sorting through extended Sega CD events, and debuting the world’s finest Ghaleon impression. Brought to you by Michael “Rage” Hardy and James ...
Mar 24, 2025•1 hr 1 min•Season 7Ep. 21
Screaming will achieve nothing. That's why we're speaking at normal volume about lamenting the loss of democracy, getting weirdly nationalist about fish and chips, committing to a Ghaleon bit, doubling down on menopause jokes, finding ourselves incarcerated, taking Luna to Golgotha, spitting up dots, wondering if mom’s soul has been poisoned, smelling the real mom, freeing a criminal, growing a backbone, eating lunch during class, telling the world Alex is not a criminal, and doubling down on fe...
Mar 17, 2025•1 hr 3 min•Season 7Ep. 20
In the past, British People were responsible for the future. What a time to have never been alive. 00:00:00 Intro 00:01:35 Hackers 00:06:03 Techno 00:11:41 Wipeout Demo 00:26:36 Wipeout 00:35:50 The Prodigy 00:44:17 Wipeout XL 01:02:07 Wiped Out 01:09:14 Outro
Mar 13, 2025•1 hr 15 min
Real men can pitch tents in the blink of an eye. Real listeners will know when we’re threatening to zap men to the Frontier, steering a boat, deploying pipe organs in a fetid swamp, avoiding poisonous wa-wa, guessing dragon colors, regretting infernal curiosity, performing a sexual attack, promising not to use magic for evil, wondering if Phacia is real, feeling meat pass fresh lips, leaving to pursue a music career, blowing on my nevermind, bumpin’ uglies, predicting a fortune in the past, and ...
Mar 10, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Season 7Ep. 19
Surprise! We’re back to season four with a very special 66th episode. We’re joined by Aidan Moher to discuss his upcoming book on Suikoden and Suikoden II and listen to some of Aidan’s thoughts on Suikoden I&II HD Remaster. In finer detail, that includes: accepting Suikoden pronunciations, measuring Suikoden’s place in RPG history, wondering if RPG sequels have a place in today’s game space, exiting battles in five seconds, filling a world with life and activity, totaling the cost of violenc...
Mar 06, 2025•1 hr 27 min•Season 4Ep. 66
That freakin’ kid has no appreciation for capitalism. You freakin’ kids have appreciation for defining the rules of a cave, becoming the Chad of socialism, landing on Star Search, casting spells on the lake, tossing fireballs at fishermen, recording three distinctive la la la songs in Lann, playing booger barter, appointing a tormenter, using rage energy to turn into a Witcher, wondering if Victor is either supportive or critical of feminism, fondly recalling projectile vomit, and rhyming moss w...
Mar 03, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Season 7Ep. 18
Cool, man. We cool men and a robot are socking a cheater in the gut, suffering a honker punch, getting duped by a lying treasure chest, allowing the fascists to pass through, teeming with the criminal element, moving drunk Kyle around the map, sleeping on a rock bed, building a jail in the basement, eating bugs, appreciating milfs, wondering if mountain fish is fresh, sashaying into a bedroom, smelling some sheets, reflecting people on mucus, becoming most entirely berserk and uncontrollable, an...
Feb 24, 2025•1 hr 19 min•Season 7Ep. 17
Luck had nothing to do with it. You made the choice to listen as we’re applying Goku logic, admiring fashionable mage robes, ticking a clock, cosigning a case to a charge, going back to the pool, hearing rumors of a fake dragon master, leaving some dragon master business unfinished, falling asleep in class, letting Luna meet Mia, imagining Ghaleon vs Dyne 1v1 Final Destination, refusing to read books, detouring into Heathcliff, and following Christ’s twelve sidequests. I pegged a dragon master. ...
Feb 17, 2025•1 hr 5 min•Season 7Ep. 16
Are you prepared for your journey of discovery? Learnings must include debating parlor admission, playing a lute like a weird asshole, conceiving destiny music, dreaming the same dream every day, going through the change of life, suffering provincialism, smelling of sea salt and dragon dung, freaking out the corrections officers, literally pulling the strings, sleeping past magic school, inviting a depressed girl on a dragon quest, and violating the sanctity of a bed chamber. Mmmm, it’s, no both...
Feb 10, 2025•1 hr 6 min•Season 7Ep. 15
May the goddess Althena shower you in her blessings. May you take a shower while blowing up Affleck’s head, mastering skills through perseverance, erasing exhaustion with magic, sucking off a healing stick for free, gaining testicles in Spanish, dropping an anal probe reference, beating up fungus, realizing only Vane may have electricity, loathing Luna Jealousy, realizing there’s evil in the towers, refusing to shine Althena’s light, finding recorded adultery, reading all the god damned books in...
Feb 03, 2025•1 hr 16 min•Season 7Ep. 14
Still your tongue, cat. And activate your ears, as this time we’re receiving Japanese turd confirmation, roughing up Dross with kicks and pows, self-realizing limitations, sassing up “driveway,” getting ripped off on Black Rose Street, deploring a PMS joke, exposing beastwoman babes, talking on the world map, blowing the Vane reveal on PSP, stroking Nash’s ego, stretching out a floor mat, burying the dragon tribe, conjuring memories of Phacia, and realizing Phacia has red eyes. “And I’m always b...
Jan 27, 2025•1 hr 27 min•Season 7Ep. 13
It’s a dead man's party. That’s what podcasts are called on Lunar, where we’re realizing no underclass exists in Meribia, understanding Mel only trusts beastmen with weapons, verifying interspecies erotica, debating ho ho ho vs bwa ha ha, fist fighting a Hero, slandering lawyers and accountants, cringing at crushing on Jessica, locking tighter than a tenement in South Central, leaving a dent in your skull, slipping on drool, becoming victimized, getting son’d by Mel, dealing with The Guild of Br...
Jan 20, 2025•1 hr 10 min•Season 7Ep. 12
You kids are wack. And our hearts are content as we’re wondering if Mel took Meribia by force, placating the masses, lying to children, having a big dream, entering Dross negotiations, partying till we puke, knowing dragons are real, practicing swordsmanship, seeing our shoes under her bed, inventing meteorology, foreshadowing the necessity of magic, gender coding Luna to clean things, freaking out over a wig, and meeting a an ominous fortune teller. You’re a magician now. 00:00 Miniseries 6 Win...
Jan 13, 2025•1 hr 11 min•Season 7Ep. 11
Get up, stumblebut, we got jerkin’ off to do. Nope, sorry, wrong podcast. On this one we’re kink shaming a flying cat, valuing experiences over possessions, sleeping on a cot, marveling at the Meribian metropolis, questioning if turds are monsters or monsters are turds, wondering if Meribia is under mob rule, using a traveler’s cheque, role-playing with some kiddos, discovering a deliberate typo, citing inspiration from Playboy, and protecting every man’s right to be drunk and sexist. An extra h...
Jan 06, 2025•1 hr 4 min•Season 7Ep. 10
I won’t ferget your help. In fact, because of it, we’re introducing a fresh multiverse theory, confirming script suppositions, remembering we can’t sail without light, parting ways at the boat ride, climbing our big pole, eating fish every day, crying out for a minimart, changing out of boy mode inside of Luna mind, thinking clean dirty thoughts, stowing away Brett, chasing the stick off the porch, doing the Dew, questioning the feasibility of fireflies, and localizing a song based on nothing bu...
Dec 30, 2024•1 hr 16 min•Season 7Ep. 9
What the flippin’ hotdog is going on? Oh, I know, we’re exploring the nature of hags, visiting angelfire, finding an idiot in a dummy trap, twirling a comb, refusing the oxford comma, boiling a cauldron of animals, equating a hag to a witch, detesting backwoods inbreds, failing the ice mace quest, remaining calm while a monster wreaks havoc, fighting bugs naked, alliterating into oblivion, realizing Alex is the main character, feeling like dead weight, and helping Luna make a curious choice. I'l...
Dec 23, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Season 7Ep. 8
I don’t wash my hands, so I’m always hungry. Come along with us on a fantastic fart voyage while we’re reeking of fish, becoming the Orca, leaning of Luna’s reputation, filching a chicken, encountering the beastmen, noticing the absence of lore outside of the Four Heroes, hinting at a race war, cruising for a bruising, speaking without dentures, lacking sufficient statistics, offering edible toe cheese, getting drunk off of smells, losing a coin toss, discovering it was all rigged, and missing a...
Dec 16, 2024•1 hr 7 min•Season 7Ep. 7
