All The Bells and Whistles

and um there. First of all, I want to say to you that there's nothing wrong being freak. Goat Derek. There's nothing I said, eot damn it and there's nothing wrong with it, not damn thing. Nothing as your grandmama. Huh Okay, that's her grandma. Okay, maybe just the one grandma. We're just going it's that one on one side, just one grandma back. They don't go too far back. It don't actually know what. I don't believe that. Actually I see I feel like we have. We've fallen victim to

the grandma stereotype. Every Body grandma wasn't making no pies. Somebody grandma was running the whole house like somebody's grandma got a pistol and you know what I'm saying, somebody, Yeah, these these as real grandma's. We need to like rewrite this grandma's story because they grandma ain't got apple pies and ship wearing a movie all day. You feel mine? No, no, ma'am not mine. I've told you a few stories about my nana. So grateful for that. And look, I'm gonna

tell you something else. I'm grateful for every time time that I've been like performing in Oakland, this woman, this woman, this, this, this this huh, this person will show up after the show, be waiting by the gate faithfully. And I'm talking about for years, years, not one or two or three. I'm talking consistently, and she will show up and have me these amazing vibrators every time. An evolution of vibrators you have, Jill,

are you saying you have an evolution of vibrators? We gotta get our new one that wants to be that's that's last season. Nina Joiner who gives out the best vibrators ever. We are that community coming through. Come on listen, she has feel more adult. Um, are you you have are you. You have several stories now and you have two stories. Oh oh yeah, the pandemic catch all inside. So I took an opportunity, you know, generational wealth, you

know what I mean. So I'm actually gonna try not to be totally upset and offended because I come to Opland literally like twice even, and I'm like, I need to I need some of this love. I need some of this love. It's a brag, like it's a it's an official flex, you know, because I'll I'll be so happy to have the gift. Like how thoughtful. You know. I'm on the road. You know, I can't be smashing

everybody I meet it. I mean, you can't do it with your partner, do right, let me and let me ask you this, like why Jill, and do you do this to other artists? Special? Okay, so here's here's the the outline of the story. The outline of the story is that my store is right on the block where they form all the performers are, and so um it's

always you know, for me, it's I don't know. Sometimes I think we have to continue to play in life, you know, to be that kid that we're nurturing all the time because that kid is always there, and it's like, you know, just to say that I'm always working and

I can't do these things, it's very limiting. And it was right there, and so I would just take the opportunity to actually go over and beat you know, a lot of the black performers because they're coming into predominantly Almoso, a predominantly white community, performing and I would just sit at the game, even if just to see them because you know, in the early days, I really couldn't leave

my desk because I'm sitting there working. I was my only employee, and so I was like, you know, it's just been good to to see what's going on behind the scenes and also be that that greeting, you know, that welcome wagon for people coming into the city to know what was where to go eat, Like her people come and where we're we go eat, you know, don't go there and go here and go to this black

business right here. And so I think that for me, it's been about you know, meeting those um black performers in her team, her people, her have always been very receptive. So each time and it's just like I just want to continue to see that and so that's that's what it's that's what it's been about. So and it's a community based initiative. Yes, yeah, we love that. We love that time to finally met the family soul come to Oakland, can you please? Well, I don't know where this Where

is this venue? What venue was? It's called the Fox Oakland. I just saw I yeah, I just saw great show. I'd be here. That's asked you. Did you get a chance to bless her? I did not. I did not because her her guy was like, well, she doesn't really like to meet anybody, but you know, so I'll see the teens and everything. But I saw her at the

Berkeley Greek Theater and it was a performance. I was just talking to someone about this this morning where they had like this walkway and so as people were outside, they were in there, you know, their garment like it was just like this runway of fashion. And also she had because her because it takes her so long to get on stage. Come on, now, she's in her eighties, so let's just right. So she had strippers on stage

doing the show. While they were waiting on her. I was like, I'm I'm I'm sold, I'm so I was like this is. This is on a whole different level. But when she came to the Fox, she didn't have strippers, and so it was a different kind of show, the same music, different kind of shows. So so I've been getting hooked up. I've been getting hooked up so much for so many years. This this sweet human being bringing me these awesome vibrators that really I don't know about

you all. I mean, I don't know if you're you're new to this. I had a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend, very wonderful friend of mine, who unfortunately just lost her husband and they've been together for a long time. Um, so she doesn't know, you know, she doesn't know. Um she's only forty nine years old and she she doesn't know about anybody but her husband. Right, So my aunts, of course, I come for the what you call it,

uh the shiva? Is that? Is that? What that is? Well, you know when you're around, um, you know when someone has passed and you're just there. Yeah, she's not Jewish, but I just called it that because that's where my head went. And um, I brought her a vibrator umil though, because I brought her, I brought her a fairly good size I'll say you know about I mean, it's it's a vibrator. Um. It is the lacky licky kind with

that wonderful pretender. La is the joy, the joy on LA's face for me, Yes, we're just curious though, like even in being married for so long and not to put her business off frustrated or nothing like that, Like that's curious that a vibrator is something she didn't already have. I think she what she said to me is that she's had toys, but you know, there it wasn't something that they necessarily needed. And also it wasn't um what

she has his old like antiquated things. She didn't know they do licky licky now right, because that's fairly new. That is, Yeah, she didn't know that. So it is is um a real pleasure for me to have Nina on this podcast today, to have her on j dot ill with us to talk to us about the use of vibrators, um and even dildos because the evolution. A lot of people don't know that, Like for all of

you that are like I'm tired of the bullshit. Hey, this thing right here, this thing right here, it say feel good right now and go to sleep, and that's what it says, just says. It says, Hey, you're stressed out, you're nervous about this business meeting, You're you're making a presentation. Here you go and relax. Yeah, and we're just understanding that they don't have to go inside of you because some of us don't always want something from the inside.

Just like, you know, work those outsides, you know, she said, work those Okay, y'all. I feel like we're so down the road, like we should ask Nina, like how does she even get into this one? I was thinking the same thing, like what is what is the God bless you behind this word human? Good sister, God bless you? Yeah? But yeah, but how did this start? Oh? Man? Um? It started a couple of ways. One, um, you know, to your friend's point about, you know, having a vibrator.

I think sometimes I'm I'm black because I heard the conversation earlier. I'm black. I know I'm black. I have a black experience. Okay. And you know how the women in our community didn't talk about our bodies was very um put us, put us behind, you know what I mean? And so financially African Americans are behind you know what we're paid, we're behind and being paid our health care we're behind, and also in our sexual health that we're

behind as well. And so I just looked at my own life a lot of the trauma that I've had had and to those out there continue to heal every day is a healing journey, um, and UH wanted to find a place that can not only just continue to heal me, but continue to heal other people in acceptance and um. One my aunt told me one day, she was like, you know, you don't really know much about

your body. And you know, even as somebody who's had an abortion, um, um, you know you talk about those those how you how you even deal with that and what leads us to that and having the trauma. There's still trauma around even something that you choose to do, the trauma around things. And where's the pleasure in in any of this trauma? Where do we get to have that safe space? And so she told me to go to My aunt told me to go to a sex shop.

And I went to a sex shop and it didn't look like me, and you know, I was like, oh, this is nice, but you know, I don't see the Grandmama's I don't hear you know, the black culture. I just didn't see that ethnic culture. And so I thought that particular model was sanitized for just everybody to feel confident, but not people to feel comfortable. And so, um, I

wanted to uh make a space. And I actually started selling on the street corners, honestly out of the off in my car, and uh, people would laugh at me. They laugh and you know, oh that's a sex lady, and giggle, and you know, I really did so much. But I had a box with dial doos and I had a box with porn, and I would just go into bars and places and bar stations and public transportation spaces to U sell sex toys. And then you know,

I started shooting porn and I started directing porn. I wasn't in the porn, but I started to direct porn and produce porn. And uh, I used my work computer to hold my content, not that I was on the computer going to the internet spaces like you know, like the Hustler site he was talking about earlier. But um, and I got fired and I got fired again, and I was like, I'm so tired of this, all of doings.

Wanting to create space for people, and there's a true body acceptance that revolution that's really happening that people aren't really talking about. And so the last time that I got fired, I said to forget this. You know, I'm not doing it anymore. I'm gonna find my own space. And it took about fifty notes before a black man who since passed this woman I know who lost her husband as well, um, you know, decided to give me

a chance. And that's where I opened up at seventeenth and Telegraph in downtown Oakland and today I've been there thirteen years. Next month another five years. Because you know, we all we already understand what displacement looks like in the residents for people and how they live in their communities, but there's also a business displacement that can happen that can change change the course of history just as well as you know, someone's residents. So I'm here now. Okay,

that's a whole journey. Yeah, that is beautiful. It was so much I had to take notes. I was like, Okay, more conversation after the break. I'm curious, like, because you talked about the comfort level and particularly the black experience around like their sexual health. Black people are low key,

high key conservatives. So like, I'm curious, what are some of the Like some kind of standout moments are like things that you consistently hear from the black community, no matter what age, that you have to kind of debunk to get them to even open up to what it is you're talking about. Well, you know, people will think that we don't have enough customers or you know, like who's in here? Who coming in here? But you know, when you're average spin, it's almost like a hundred dollars,

you don't need many people. And I think sometimes when people can speak transparently to people who protect their information on a regular they get to talk about things, you know what I mean, and you make it comfortable. Like when Cat comes in and he was like, damn, I've never seen a many dicks in my life talking about the dildal law. I said, well, you know, he looked like this, and I said, you've been a prison right

And he said yeah. I said, what's the problem, what's the difference you've seen real ones these faith He's like, good point, good point, you know. And so if we start to commonplace, if we start to talk about our experiences, we've actually uh not been so conservative. You know, we were taking on this conservativeness because it's the only level of respectability some of us have control over. You know, an here, I'm about to run around here. If we

had the money, then we'd be like respectable. But what we cling to shows, you know, our level of it. And I think that um commonplace. Putting in place like Essence Magazine. We've been in there a couple of times, you know, Black Publication, Jet Magazine. I knew the photographer who did all the Jet Beauties. He since passed a while,

Lamont McLamore. He's a good friend of mine and I got to hang out with him a lot um and so even my my building owner before he passed, he talked about a lot of the Playboy black women out of Chicago. Like this is in our community and our culture. And as you talked about grandmother's earlier, about uh, we have not every grandmama was just at church, but not every grandmama who was at church has always been at church.

We've always gone through these experiences. And what I do know about women, we have this level of power that we've used to navigate our way to success sometimes and that's been our beauty. That's been our body, that's been our between our legs, but definitely between our minds, because even to think about using your body, you have to first use your mind and say, I know where I'm going.

And so I think there are a lot of people who are just conservative in the sense that they're not remembering where they came from and how they got where they are. You know. Some also basically the ideology that you're spitting doesn't actually match your lived experience, not at like if you actually spoke about your lived experience, it

wouldn't match up to come on absolutely. However, though, y'all, let's keep it funky, because just because our grandmothers also were out and doing things doesn't mean they also knew how to really enjoy it. I don't know about y'all, but I feel like my grandmother was at the average grandma. She dressed like this, she did like that, and had all the sexy lingerie. But when we talked about sex, it was like, so it feels like and it feels like that has lasted. I was a cloud on us

until like the nineties. I think me and you aga talking about this before and the nineties something hit Black Girls all of a sudden, we're talking about sucking debt and stuff can't right exactly. So to you, Nina, does it feel like things have kind of moved really fast because we went from we start sucking dick in the nineties too, Yeah, like you said, used to sell sex toys. I remember when all the girls, like I remember when that was a thing in the last years. But women parties, Yeah,

the toy parties, like likereneurship. Yeah, and then it was you know, and then there's candy, and now it's you know, here we are talking about the roles like commonplace. Do you feel like we're moving a little at a good rate now? Like before we were slow, Like you said, we have to catch up, but it feels like we are catching up faster than we have were getting paid

people right right, right? For sure? For sure. I think the mediums and the outlets in which we talk about sex has changed, Like you know, you got music, you got missed, Jill Scott, you know, talking about it. Anytime she talks about something, she put her hand on the mic. It's going viral. Right. We also have yeah, you have the you have the roles on Facebook and Instagram, so it's made in Cosmopolitan Essence magazine. It's made these outlets where people feel I have access to that UM allows

us to catch up. It's the information. Otherwise we have to go to books and what I do know about especially black women reading some of the books. There aren't many black women writing books around. I would say there's Um sien Renee who does the Body is Not an Apology. I think that's a very well Taylor. Yeah, she's produced out of here in the Bay Area. Her book is really well written because I see a lot of sex education or sex empowerment books for white for other you know,

beyond African Americans. Our bodies. Yeah, there there is nothing for African Americans, and so I think her book will actually stand the test of time. She's created the book, now, the workbook, the podcast, like we're learning to monetize our own experience, which which lends the fact that it makes it more reasonable for us to talk about our bodies because now this is the only thing that we own.

So I was in a Pleasure Activism, which is a book out there, and I talked about uh me owning the yeah, me turning the key, opening the space because there's not much that we get to own, except our our bodies are experiences depending on your state. Yeah, and now that people are telling us like, oh, if you did the roads, now you can talk about sex, you can make money. It's monetizing our experience a lot more than it was in the past. These YouTube videos, oh

my god, in permercials all day line, the reviews. I'm just saying that this is making money off of just doing reviews on the roads. I'm just yes, yes, I loved when you said that you had directed. I don't want to get back to toys because we definitely want to share. What are you know, the best toys. When you said that you directed porn, that that lit me up inside because I've always wanted to direct porn, like

I've always wanted to do it. I always felt like um, and I mean always always from the very beginning of when I saw it, especially now from where I come from to where it is now. Like I'm a big Vanessa del Rio fan and grew up on Vanessa del Rio. Love her her, yes, love her because she she actually enjoyed her some motherfucking queen you said. I mean, I've seen them all, I met him all all the while, like to see a black woman porn star who's walking

in her power with her clothes on. They're like, you see that, but you don't see me, like just like some sexy ather fuckers like and it's not the because they understand the business. They understand the power of their skin that taking that ownership back. There's who's the who's the other famous porn star? You know? Have a woman met her? Janney Jackie is awesome. Um, that's all. There's

only two. I know. Its peaky she sentiment. Yes, she's she's doing some still great work out there in the body positivity around some good, good African American performers out there, but they're good business women. I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna throw this out here. I really want a little more story. Can I just get a little story? You want some skin of Max? And I don't not a skin of Max, a little bit of story, a context. We know that this is what we're watching is gonna

end up being some fucking yeah. But if I could just get a little bit of a reason, a little bit, I I personally, I'm getting trouble here. I like the stories when it's like my mama needed surgery and I that's like two minutes and that's all I need. I feel like she told it for mama, Like I like that, I need a little bit. What do you mean, what do you mean you don't have your homework? Oh, I'll I'll just let me whatever. I don't care what it is. I just need a little bit of a storyline. So

it was Nina, you're a storyline check. I did. I did. I did a recipe and I just did. Like, so, so here's my formula for the porn I did. I talked to Diana Devote. You remember her? So, so she actually, uh so, I know her and she actually helped me to craft my She taught me. She says, I said, you know, I shot this porn. I'm not really sure. You know. I did my own editing and everything. So I do my own camera work, my own editing, I

had to camera someone else shoes with me. I do my own editing, my post, I did my after effects, I did everything. And so I took my piece to her and so we went over and she was like, I was like, yeah, but I made that mistake. She was like, don't ever take your mistakes as not good enough. She was like, take your mistakes and make them your power. And so um, so from there I got my stylization. And so if you were to see my content, you'll see that there's more closer to a story narrative, if

you will, closer to how clean the house is. You know, I've even had cooking a dinner we took We took that recipe and put it in the end as a recipe so people could do it. Uh and just really like talking to people, you know what I mean? So I can see deal Scott U s a damn porn No seriously, but so wait on that note, tell us about some some direction that some might feel awkward to say, but that you've had to do. Yes, yes, yes, and so so I know I know jealous is still on it.

So so this's I want to make. So so that's what I do with my storyline. And I think it also is about who does it. If you do it, I know it's gonna go it's gonna go viral. It's really gonna gonna viral. So you know, just just understand that.

And even having a woman take a bath it is sexual, you know what I mean, Like, come on, Like I even had stuff like that in my porn, so you know, and the good thing is like for me, I'm here in Oakland, California right now, and uh, Porn Valley is in Los Angeles, is in San fran Fernando Valley Terminals right like Sherminal Chatsworth and um, well now it's everywhere. But that porn, those porn films actually got me all

over the country. Like this year, I just went to Berlin, I went to London, I went to getting wars around around the world for the work that I do, so you know what I mean. So in teaching at the university where Einstein taught during the war, right before the war, and Angela Davis got her PhD, like come on, like, look at I'm looking at with my my body, my body positivity, my body rights has gotten me in my life, Like I wouldn't be here with y'all mouth it wasn't

for sex sex toys. So so here's the thing. So I was at dying in his house one night she was shooting and the person was her partner who was shooting with this other woman. So she's doing the content and uh, all of a sudden, they're they're they're fucking and they're doing what they're doing. And then uh, it's like all right, cut, I need to rest. And then there's somebody you know, somebody might need to give head

or somebody need to just take time. You know, you're seeing edits, you're seeing things put together, so you're having somebody say, oh, I need your legs this way, or I need you this way, or even if in my in my porn, I don't direct people that way. I just make sure that I have the right people together because see the kind of porn that I put together as agency. So there's a difference with some of the other porn houses where they say, well, I want you

to do this. I don't know if that. I might invite another guy right now and you're gonna do DP. The woman may or may not want to do that, but the money on the table in the contract sets that they have to do information they might have to do this. But in my films, it's like, okay, I just want to put the right people together and making sure like hey, everybody's sober, no drugs, so you can hear the other person consent. If they tell you to stop,

you gotta stop. All I'm doing is documenting there their sex. I ain't gonna lie to you guys. One time we were we did I don't know what what episode we did with somebody jumped in the comments and like, um, then I tell you guys about how somebody suggested this particular site that they called ethnically sourced and so like I didn't even know that was such a thing. They called it pro black Ethnically sourced porn is what it was called, right, that's what it's called. So it's uh.

And so I went to the site and I was like, all right, I gotta check this out, like what's this that? But but what's interesting is there's a lot of stuff on the site. Like one of the things that they have are things like they call pleasure portraits, where people just have taken photos of themselves, like pleasuring themselves. The porn that is current to me, it is just a lot of black print. But this isn't like that, Jill. I'm trying to tell you, Like, that's what I That's

what I hate. I really hate mechanical um when it looks like the person is under the rest or they're they're stressed, or you know that I gotta get this money. The mentality of I gotta get this money. When it looks like the mentality like I'm here and I'm going, oh, but really I'm counting, you know how much I need in order to like, you know what I'm saying. And when there's like a deadness in the eyes. That's the thing that I'm talking about with Vanessa del Real that

she was always present in every shot. Missy Stone is like that Stone. Is that a good Yes, she's goods Missy Stone. She went whoever she went, she went them like girl male male girl. Whatever you gotta until you gotta come to porn convention with me this year? When is it? Listen has a lot of actually performs each year. I'll be like I heard a rumor said, and then Cardi B performed. I was in the front row. I heard her and Cardi B perform at motherfucking show and

that was a show. I've never seen a sing like that. Is there a black porn Convention yet, y'all na Cuigeria, Yeah, we have one, but it's not as well attended. It's more, it's more you'll get you'll get awards out of it, but you know, you just it's the backing Gia I forgot. I forgot her guy's name, you would know him, but um DeVault his name is Alexander the Ball. He used to be married to the Diana the bo So they got together and created the Like this Black Award show

really good. You ever just really want to go get down? It's it's like guilty. Uh. And I can't remember the name right now because I haven't gone it years sometimes they haven't. But um, those are really good because it's also networking opportunities. I look at each person that goes to a foreign award who's in the business and not just for me. Um. I got into business because I would go to the convention. Now I met Diana devote man.

She was the goddess and you know, I've watched her films and everything, but just to see her would close on. I was like more in love and uh, but just to see her understand her business acumen was like even even greater because it's not that you can do that to your body all of those years and you know what I mean, like where do you see yourself? Do you see yourself behind the camera? Do you see yourself

in another industry? Because you're gaining the same skill sets that you can transfer to another industry, and that's what she did. But just to see how each person, each performer that I'm associated with, or I know even Mr Marcus out there, Um, you know a lot of the black performers that they're basically businesses, each person, their body, how they get access to create products with their names on it. Everybody is a business in this industry, which

I really like. And I think, you know, to to miss Jill's point of like somebody thinking about the money because it is so critical to perform. It's like you know, being out there with Lebron shooting forty for the night.

If you you're not Lebron, if you don't shoot forty every night, and so you have to shoot forty so you can get that to that next playoff if you will, that next game, and so in that next game is not just being here and and being you know, with the porn and actually having intercourse, but it's also now to to take that to camping sites like only Fans or a Patreon, or creating your own sex product or becoming this GFE where people just want to date you

for money, and finding other ways to monetize your whole, uh sex industry experience. Like there's a whole so I you know, when people say sex workers, they're automatically gonna think somebody is sucking and sucking, and that's not totally true. A lot of them are creating experiences and also only fans is given them the opportunity to stay behind the camera and not do as much as they would have to do if they were on poorn. You know, So the whole spectrum of sex work has for me has

really changed. But it's also very hard to um narrate that to other people who only think about sex work as sex. We're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be right back. You know what I love about your energy that I think um is like super important across any industry is this kind of respect for people who paved the way for you, Like your excitement about working with people who understand the industry and who are

willing to teach you. So you have like a twofold relationship here that I see that's really just been important in your story where it's like you have this passion for this work, you found people who have history in this work and skinning the game no pun intended, that are not only have that, but they're willing to reach back and teach you and give you their hands on feedback, because I mean, how many filmmakers or how many filmmakers can say, oh, I met someone who I deeply admire

who literally looked at my work, critiqued it, and gave me some encouragement as to how to move forward in the industry. I just think that that's a really beautiful thing that has happened specifically with you. But I'm sure it's not a standalone experience. So I just really want to point that out because in a lot of industries, and even the industry that you know, the music industry where we are, there's a lot of the disconnected with that,

whereas like there's no reach back. Yeah, I think you know, I can't. I appreciate you acknowledging that because I think the adult is um people more serious that inside, and people think of us on the outside, right, they think I'm going to a foreign convention and they're thinking, like

we're having sex everywhere. Not to say that that doesn't happen, not to say I'm not excited about seeing that, but um, there's something to be said when you can get a line of credit thirty dollars from a company to get products in and they're just gonna send it to you. You know. Now that that makes me come on day long, you know. And so it's not about just the put out that people see what. It's also about the potential

in the industry. And I think because when people use their body, the detriment of like AIDS, hiv, uh STD simplest those things like each day can be your day to be done, you know, And so each day I think people are like, let me do my best to get more people involved in this. And then one thing is I'm on the I'm on the retail side. Most people, you know, most blacks that I know that aren't competitive with me when I was in the film side, we're there.

On the other side, there's very few African Americans owning brick and mortar stores or operating at the level that I operate. And I'm not saying that others don't operate at that level, but they're not reaching out to say, hey, like I've been um nominated for a couple of marketing awards, national marketing awards. So it's not just in community awards. It's not just best retail store in the country several times through a d n N xviis. But it's about

my management skills as well in the industry. And even before I had the store, when I was selling out the trunk of my car, I was going to these events and saying, can I get on the panel because I was doing so much studying. And I was watching this guy who owns some stores here, and before he bought these stores, he owned this other warehouse in South

San Francisco. It's one funcle will roll up in Rose Royce and I was next door next to him my Honda, and he would never say anything to me, But it was the black people in his business that was sit me down at his table and you know what I'm saying, And it's just like now we compete. So never never, never does somebody that you you know, you never know

when they'll come back to you. Always show that kindness because you never know how that impression impacts the relationship going forward, you know, And have you had that experience yet where somebody's now walked up to you and said, because of you, I see that I can now do this, Like how is that going within the generation under you? Yeah? You know, that's an important question. A lot of people will ask me, like on on Instagram, and people will send them my way and say, well, you know, how

do I get going? And I say, I'm sorry to tell you. All you gotta do is start. Some people don't want to take the money it takes to invest in failure, you know what I mean, Like you have to be willing to really invest in failure because you don't know if it's success yet. M and a lot of people are just not willing to do that, and so they'll go back and tell a few people like man, she she didn't talk to me, She didn't tell me. I mean, but I'm putting it out there on YouTube

for you to watch it. I'm telling you where to go. I wrote the book about it, you know what I mean. It's just like, don't take just because someone is telling you know that, it's stopping you. It's telling you to keep going, it's telling you know right now, but I

don't have that time. But you can start. And so sometimes people want you to guide them and put their hand on it, and it's like you you really, you really have to take your hand and put it in your pocket, come out with your money and investing yourself first, and sometimes it's just hard, Like I'm running for office. I thought it was all hard because I had I had that, But over here they need money. They running for city council in California right now, that's a that's

a real hot seats, first seat in any seas. I think they don't understand city council run that run. You feel the city council runs the ones the show baby. So so let me let me finish answer that question. So you're talking about what people are saying about how I'm supporting them, but the people who see it the encouragement that I give their coming back and saying, you know,

because of you, I did this. And it's not just in the adult business, it's in life that African Americans, black people rebirth yourself with the audacity that you can do any damn thing. Say one more time. Rebirth yourself with the audacity that you can do anything. You do not need permission. We have to stop looking for permission. I give people coming in the stores and say, you know, asking to buy a certain type of sex toys, and

what do you think, I'm like, you got it. That's all they're looking for permission and being seen and we have to stop looking for that and see ourselves. So, you know, like the woman who has never had a sex tour turned on her sex toy. It's not just about the sex toy. It's like you have permission already. You don't even need to go out and buy anything. You have you you know, when are we going to be comfortable with us being enough to ballot? Was actually

gonna ask you that. I was like, I mean, you know, listen for the business, for all of all of the success. But I was like, man, what about us. Girls are just just climbing and bed with with good old and so listen and don't forget about the girls that just go hands free because you didn't wait, am I about to put you on? And the just an't gonna tell you come? Oh okay, I thought you were talking about

like humping your pillow or something. I don't know. I mean, you could, you could do that, but the humping the pillow is basically with me, kind of like the same thing as keeping until you come without the pillow. Hands free, baby hands ability. Since we started this damn pack, I wasn't bragging, I just was. And she's and she's also thrown me under the bus as well. Because I have a lot of children. You think that my key wi

don't work. But I wasn't doing that that sub I wasn't doing that because you're still like, you're still enjoying sex. I know that thing tight. But you know, some people will come in and say, well, they'll come in with a group of friends and like, I don't know, I don't need anything. I'm like, you're right, you don't need anything.

I think, you know, when we start to just normalize what we're working with what we got, but also informing people about what else is out there, because it's like talking to a man about anal anal play, I won't say a sex anal play or anal stimulation before prostate cancer. Is a different conversation after prostate cancer because they under

stand the impact of not checking on themselves. They understand the impact of not milking themselves, and so it's a whole different conversation now because now they just don't they can't ejaculate, or they lost their erections, so the conversation is different. I think if you start to just talk

about sex. One Jewish lady, I know, Miss Jill, says something about Shiba earlier, one Jewish lady told me, she says, you know, if you people, and I know she was talking about African Americans, said, if you talk about money the way you do with sex, you'll have more of it. So I started talking about money the way I was talking about sets just at the sex people. Yeah, the mentality shift, the mentality ship. I don't talk about it enough. We talk about it in secret, just like we talk

about Doney in secret. You know, I really believe in divine intervention. I know that that kind of sounds like, oh, you just have your hands off the wheel. Not necessarily because once, once you get directed in the area, it's up to you to to fulfill that the desire. Once you get there, once you you know, you see it. Oh, don't drop the thing. I love that your aunt introduced you to your body. I love that, and I love that you took that and created an entire existence for

yourself and your blessing people. You're you're you're informing people, educating people, and exciting people. You know, in sexuality. I just I think that's phenomenal. And it's all areas of it. It's all areas, even even the financial aspect of it. I think that is brilliant. I'm gonna give you one. Okay, this is a gift. Now. I'm sure somebody else in the world has thought of this, but I believe that there should be um a thousand dollar and up dildo

that is designed specifically for your vagina. Oh that's like the Nipsey Hucks so mix tape. So what do you what are you saying? Like, what will this do? I'm saying that it will specifically, it's tailor kiss like like an ear, like when you do the in your monitors and they pour the wax in your ear and yes, oh well wait a minute, now, how are we gonna through that? I don't know if are we gonna do that? Jill that you put the mold in your ear? You know?

So you you you pull it out, it hardens and you pull it about my COUCHI make it make it work the same idea inside of the vagina. You put it. You put the phone inside of the vagina and hardened, and then you pull it out and we have this the shape of little vagina? Can it be a soft hard If you guys can see our facial expressions on this podcast, we scratched our head I just if my grandchild is listening, I just I just want to say my grand babies to listen to how sexually healthy your

grandma is? Yeah, yay, is so sexually healthy. Little But see, you know, when we start to talk about it from that perspective, I think, you know, it's simple, you know, when you know, we can shock your kids when you express to them what it's like what their body should be doing. You can't show everybody in Oakland young girls can't really walk outside by themselves, you know what I mean, Like that's that's hard. That's hard to stomach to see, Like you're looking around like who we are or who

who trying to get her? Like you know, they're really taking young girls and putting them in a prostitution around here. But we we also have to equip your girls were talking about those experiences, young boys to talking about those experiences, because I think that equips in with protecting themselves when

they're in those situations. Right. And and also too, it's it's important to talk to people in general, right because we we make Okay, you're about to get into like public policy, so you know, we go into making policy to quote unquote address things that are happening in our community, but we don't talk to anybody or really do any research around these people's people's experiences or talk to them.

And our young people are having conversations with their peers, and their peers have all kinds of experiences, and yet when they come to us as the elders of the community, it's like they're lost. They feel like, oh, well, this isn't matching up. I can't talk to you about what I've experienced. I can't talk to you about what my peers are experiencing. We don't have a place to actually really talk about this thing in a way that we

walk away feeling empowered. It's just like, Okay, keep it to myself, don't tell it's a shame, their shame around it. There's blame around it. There's you know, all kinds of like negativity that goes into it. Instead of just having an opportunity to just listen. I feel like stories are just not told. People just don't talk about They listen to the music I'm talking. I'm listening to much. I love a song, but I know that I thought you

was feeling me. Yeah, but but yeah, that dude so much. Yeah, but listening to that music is also about sexuality and the expression of things. And if we're not talking about children, the music is talking to your children. Doesn't mean that you all arrive with the music is talking about you. Just see how the child is feeling about responding to the content. What does that make you do? How does it make you feel? You know, I just want you to know about You can listen to that, but what

is the implications of the actions in the music? If you're acting outside of the music? You know, I like that, what are the implications? Yeah? How does that make you feel? Like? You can tell? You ye that? Yeah, it's just like the drill music. It's great. I listened to I listened to all everything. If you're on Instagram, I'm on sound listen to everything. I'm like, these cats are so damned created. But there's implications to the music if you acted out.

I also, I also want to throw this in there, that that everything that you do, the sexual stuff that you do, it's just it's not for everybody. Everybody can't get your A game, thabe. Yeah, you can't give everybody your A game. So how do you put out a beat? How do you put out b and c oh, I just don't give all the you don't give it all the cherries, and so it's like like you don't, you don't, you don't, I don't. Just kind of what I'm seeing head and no boo swallowing, swallowing that a game. No,

everybody can't get that. That ship is thick. Have you ever? Everybody can't get that. I can't swallow everybody's DNA. So you so you you vibe on it, but you don't swallow. I um, I would think you want y'all see me in the corner. I'm just the corner. How do you? How do you? How do you? What's the what's the logic behind not giving your a game? Well, fish your body for some you get what you need. You know what you came to get and you know how to

maneuver to get it. Yeah, ma'am, there are others where you know each other and you can go all the way in every possible fan to see that you want. You can live that right now. But not everybody can get that. Some people will will just get the the squeaky whip dick got kick up, you know what I'm saying, and then somebody else will get that cash shot up. Do don't y'all think that's okay? As long as you want like like address, I mean attached some sort of

kind of moral hierarchy to that. It's a b C. It's more, it's higher, you know, it's it's hierarchy for me just too, as a woman who've been dating all her life. I got to say something for the nigga that decide or we decide that this is like, so, yeah, someone, is that more about you? It's me? Okay, So what's that one thing that you're saving for that person? Swallowing he said, swallowing he said, spit it out of swallowing it again? But is that because you think that secretly

he believes that that makes him more special? Like? What is it? Is it really? I mean, like I'm saying, is there no part of this as teenage rule that I may come on ya all of me? The first trust, the all of me has to have trust. I need to trust this person. Now. I might be attracted to someone and want to, you know, spend since spend some good old loving time or not fucking time, I'll say, And but why is your mouth more special than your vagina?

My mouth is as a special, stop making sense money maker. Ain't nobody got time for your sense making? Man, It's set. I'm just asking. This is what it is. I'm still a black girl of the nineties. This is true. I mean, I just want to pretend like I didn't get caught up in a lot of respectability. I mean, this is me. I'm just just trying to free I just want to liberate my mind. I'm trying to decolonize mine. Right and also, Asian, I already gave up my booty hole. Asian, I already

gave up my booty hole. It's all I got left. More real talk after the break. Can get this top top five list? Please? Please? Top five vibrators and still those if you will? All right notes, are you really got no? I'm excited. Oh I'm associated if the roses not weren't here because I just bought the three of those bitches and we can get them directly from Nina. Okay, feel more adult? Please? So we got the g motion. What I love about that is I was in Denver check it out a shop up there, and it was

a it was a three and one product. It has a wand on the end, it has and it operates as a rabbit. And it also has this little ball that goes back and forth at the tip. That's that's a top product. So and it's a slim shaft too, so if you don't want to put all that in you you don't have to. And all the controls are separate, so nothing just turns on everything. It's a control for each thing. I say the rose because the roses the rose, okay, and it's but which so which one this is one?

I was getting ready to say. It's like when I started. When we started, there was one section, then it became ten. There is twenty. I will actually tell you it's called the Dane Air. What I like about the day Air is um it is silicone body throughout. If you know the rose, people you know see the rose and I want ross. The rose has a small opening. I know. There's some big clips out there, and so with the Dane Air it allows flexibility around to somebody getting the

right and we'll see over there right, you know. Sorry, y'all, y'all know y'all got every clip. Ain't to say every clip ain't small. You've got some big clips out there that you know. Again, it allows you to u envelope yourself, and it's really good for trans men who have huge clips because of testosterone taking. Wow, I never even thought the result of that. So that makes sense because intomically

it's all the same. Actually, when you before you before you form in the womb, the whole thing is the same thing. Your cletterus and the penis are all the same. It's actually the same. One just stopped growing another one, so it's the same. How big your clint is atrophies over time, so keep it going, keep stimulating it, keep so it's like it's like any other muscle exercise. So he said, you still need to have orgasms. It doesn't matter if you have a partner, have an orgasm at

least every other day. It's about sexual health because your blood vessels keep opening up down there, and as you get older and less lubrication, those are the things that come about sometimes you like my my vajorita ain't operate the same. It ain't like something's wrong, it's just time and your attention to it. So your sexual health needs

attention to detail, not just another person to help you out. Trophy. Yeah, I gotta do like I did and buy y'all Mama's a rose like I did, like listen the Dame Air, but there's from film or Dame Air, and uh there's another one called the Satisfied pro Plus. Uh, there are a lot of suctions out there. I like this particular section. I know I said the Rose, but not really the Rose, but it's g motion Dame Air, the Satisfied pro Plus

and it's pro plus because uh, this suction. Its suction is suction, you know, depending on what the opening looks like for me. But this one actually has a vibrator built in too, so you know you want a little extra. It's like, don't shoot it, don't shoot out tunina, and they want, like we need it's shooting out the air, right like yeah, people think it's sucking, but it's like fluttering. It's like somebody, it's like a butterfly kiss on your on your pros on your clip. I don't know what

that is, but if it sounds like this is great. Yeah, Okay, so we we've got it. We've got a black business started from literally the wheels, okay, you know, in the back of the car pulling out buildos and videos. Now she's two businesses. Um, she's she's been nominated for for all kinds of awards at this point, for direction and for business and one and then then then um and she's she's running for city council. Um. Look, this is that intervention moving gag. So proud of you. You are

a crtually taking care of your community. Yeah, I am too. I don't even at the end of the day, what we at the end of the day, what we need is people representing from a place that's liberating and this is this is a person who has a liberation mentality. Okay, so you're gonna take that mentality in all the work that you do. It's like it's it's it's cross disciplined. So I kind of just love that you're taking your work and your mentality and your philosophy into public policy.

This is wonderful news for Oakland. I love Oakland, actually Oakland, I deeply love and the history in Oakland around black liberation and the fact that this is the work that you're doing and you're writing downtown Oakland and you're pulling that that energy and synergy into the you know, or adding to the history of the city in that way. I just super impressed. Proud, you know, all of the proud everything she said, thanks lady standing by the gate beautiful.

And I'm telling you, sometimes sometimes take naps and stuff. Sometimes I gotta get real quiet after the show. Stuff happens to me. And then you know, it could be like an hour or so later, and you know, I'm not thinking. I'm just trying to decompress and get right or whatever, playing for the next move. And I come outside and there's Nina with this gift of life, a gift on the bus like a tour bus. That's a got got, got, got got guy. You know what I'm saying.

That's a long ride. Do you normally drive from place to place? Yes? And then typically my my toys are in my luggage, not necessarily on the bus with me. I've learned now, you know, you take the yeah to take them with you on the bus. Crazy that she would have brought the basket, just the whole Nina basket. That you have a mask throughout the years some of them experience, they traveled, and you know, I can't say I took the best care of him. I kind of threw them in the bag and was trying to get

to the next stage. But you know, you or the special treatment she could always write an email tell us what she needs and she got it too, so you know, so that's that's real talk. So I don't know sex. Sex is fun, it's it's great to talk about. And you know, I'm happy that I'm here today to be able to share with people that you know, you can think about sex in different ways. Thank you for too much. I guess I feel like we're remissed without asking this

last question, which is what's on your heart? It's on my heart. That's a good one to know. I need. I need a woman right now to be in some lager right besige of my feet and actually cook me some hot water, corn bread is some grains and some chilling asking a lot as I ain't seen, ain't. I gotta called my grandmamaa call, got the moment, she got the boo, she ain't gonna grab my feet. I'm just I'm happy. I'm happy by all my health. That's my heart.

My heart is all my health, you know, just to just to make sure that can fulfill these last couple of weeks and get to November eight, because yes, yes, November eight, and um because November nine already booked my ticket to an international country. So I'm out of here. Win or win. You know good, you did the work to relax, win or win. We hope, we hope you find your foot rubber boat. Yeah, make the right. She's lazy,

she's working. Thank you so much. Friends. It's evident that it is about our mental health, and it's about our spiritual health that matters, about our physical health, and it's also about our sexual health. And the line of the day is for sure the thing scared the hell out of me. Your clip can after fee Oh fuck that. Thank you so much for listening to Jay dot Ilga podcasts. Always it's a pleasure. How do you eat an elephant? One by it? Kind? Hey, listeners, it's Amber, the producer

of Jada il Here. That was such a spicy episode. I am so inspired and excited about the work Nina is doing in her community while advocating for pleasure. Nina shared several toys in this episode, all of which you can find in her shop Feel More Adult. I'll drop a link in the show notes. If you want to get a deeper understanding of how you relate to pleasure, I highly recommend a series on Netflix called The Principles of Pleasure. It's truly a deep dive into finding deeper

intimacy with ourselves and others. Hi, if you have comments on something he said in this episode called eight six six, Hey Jill, if you want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us your name and the episode you're referring to. You might just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you for listening to Jill Scott Presents Jay dot l the podcast I Love Your nut As. I have a question, though, are you all really trying

to tell me? Because because you know, every time we have a conversation, I feel like somebody pulls my eyes apart every time. So are you trying to tell me that you you give everybody your A game? Everybody gets the A game everybody. J dot Ill is a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.