Episode description

Summary

Get ready to learn how to boost your earnings and advocate for yourself in salary negotiations with these simple and practical tips! Hosted by expert negotiator Dorothy Mashburn, this episode breaks down the anxiety and self-doubt that often gets in the way of getting paid what you deserve. 

Discover how childhood conditioning and social norms can make you forget your worth and how to shift your mindset to speak up for fair compensation.

With real-life examples and proven strategies, you'll be empowered to take charge of your salary negotiations and net anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation.

Don't let fear of loss prevent you from advocating for yourself - tune in and learn how to negotiate with confidence!

FREE Salary Negotiations Training:

With my free salary negotiations training, you'll learn all the tips and tricks you need to confidently ask for the salary you deserve. And the best part? You can listen to it anytime, anywhere - whether you're on a walk, doing your daily exercises, or whipping up a delicious meal in the kitchen. Get it now!

https://www.dorothymashburn.com/fightforyourworth 

Transcript

Hello I'm your host, Dorothy, and welcome to salary negotiations made simple. I show you how negotiating does not have to be overwhelming. I break the entire process of negotiating into easy to learn steps that you can use in any salary negotiation situation. Whether you're starting a new job. Or preparing to ask for a raise.

Expect to receive practical, actionable strategies that are based on real life experiences. I'll be sharing tips that have been proven to work where professionals like you have netted anywhere from $5000 to $40,000 more in compensation. It's payment for the skills you already bring, so you need to know how to ask for payment for those skills. Are you ready to learn how to boost your earnings? Let's dive in.

In today's episode, we'll explore when negotiating against ourselves as common, how our anxiety can trick us, what is our common response when given and dual responsibilities in a job. Without any entropy and what to do when faced with a situation like that? Level 28 I was promoted to associate. I was thrilled. I announced it to my mom and dad back in India. My friends, even the people in my insanity exercise class. It meant more responsibilities, managing 2 people and in my mind was a vote of confidence that I was awesome.

The promotion did not come with a pay raise and I didn't care. Sure, more responsibility meant that many, many good things are coming in the future, right?

About six months into the role. 

As I took stock of the long hours, the constant troubleshooting with my team and being accountable to tough questions in the boardroom, I quickly realized what I had signed up for that I had nearly doubled my work. Every day was mostly thanks. And I was nowhere close to getting anything for it, and I wasn't feeling awesome anymore.

Yet I still felt like I was lucky to have this opportunity and did not want to appear ungrateful. I also worried that I might come across as pushy or entitled, and I spent hours thinking about whether or not to ask for a raise and how to ask for it. I revisited the idea several times. Weighing the pros and cons making checklists. On any given Sunday night, I would finally decide that I will ask for a raise. I knew that I deserved to be paid fairly for the work, and I felt confident that I had a good case. I was ready. But then on Monday morning, as I walked into the office, my self doubt and anxiety kicked in my mind started racing with all the reasons why I shouldn't ask for more money. I thought about all the other people who might be better qualified for the job and might be willing to do it for less money. I convinced myself how lucky I was to have this job in the first place. And how ungrateful it would seem to ask for more. By the time I sat down at my desk, I had talked myself out of asking for a raise. Instead of making my case, I negotiated against myself. Looking back on that experience, I realized that I had let anxiety, fear and self doubt get in the way of advocating for myself. I did not even give my manager a chance to say no. If you can relate to the situation then you know. What I'm talking about? So let's dive in as to what really happened. When you're anxious, you're ready to rid yourself of the uncomfortable feelings of anxiety. Am I? Right.

So let us figure out what is happening behind the scenes in our brain. R

esearch has shown that most people prefer to choose an option with a known outcome rather than taking one with unknown risks. This phenomenon is called the Ellsberg paradox. So in my case I knew what was the outcome of doing nothing. Just more work, but I didn't know the outcome of. If I raised my hand and asked for.

The amygdala is thought to be responsible for this. It is highly sensitive to risk and the fear of loss prevents us from making a decision in spite of all the evidence. 

The truth is I would be better off if I asked and the probability was low of my employer taking away the added responsibilities. 

But as my story went, I never found out because I never even asked. I was guaranteed to miss. 

Social norms and childhood education are also working against us. As we are growing up, it is hammered into us. That hard work and taking on more responsibilities is the key to success and recognition from a young age. We are taught to strive for good grades, participate in extracurricular activities, and take on leadership roles as we progress into our professional careers. This mindset carries over. And we continue to equate more responsibilities with more value and worth. Unfortunately, this conditioning can work against us when it comes to salaries. We may be so grateful for the opportunity to take on more responsibilities that we forget to advocate for ourselves. And our worth.

We may also assume that our bosses will recognize and reward us for our hard work without us having to ask for it. Most bosses are so busy putting our day-to-day fires they may not even realize that we are taking on additional responsibilities. We have to make it known to them it's so important to shift our mindset and recognize that taking on more responsibilities does not guarantee recognition or a pay raise. So what that means is you have to speak up and not sacrifice fair compensation.

So what can you do when you have an amygdala? On hyperdrive, throwing out fight flight or free signals, or when your social conditioning is sending you mixed signals.

First normalize the situation. Say to yourself, fear is. Remind yourself that asking for what you're worth is not only reasonable, but it's also necessary. You're not doing anything wrong by advocating for yourself, and you're not asking for anything beyond what you're entitled to. Make a list of the worst things that can happen, and then add a probability column, one being the most. Unlikely, and three being the most likely. Just doing this exercise is going to help you get through the fight, flight or freeze response that the amygdala has started in your brain. 3rd reframe from a loss mindset to a gain mindset. And what does that look like? A loss oriented mindset may lead someone to fear negotiating for a higher salary because you're afraid of being rejected or losing the job altogether. If the same person reframes that mindset to a gain oriented one, you start to focus on the benefits of negotiating for a higher salary, such as. Being compensated fairly, having more financial freedom and feeling more valued by your employer.

In summary, as most negotiation experts would agree, the. Biggest person you have to negotiate with is yourself. You have to convince yourself that the value you bring is worth more than what you're currently getting, that your market research is solid, and that varying from these two top points is your self doubt. Fear and anxiety speaking. None of it is based on reality. But it is the reality of our professional lives that we will continue to get responsibilities as a token of our employers, confidence in our abilities. So what should we do? I'm not saying more responsibility is a bad thing. I'm saying you need the. I got more responsibilities and in lieu of that, I also got this because I. Asked for it.

Let's now explore what you can do when you do get new job responsibilities. What are those options you can ask for first? No brainer. Simply ask for a pay raise if that's out of the question, ask for a sign on bonus. I once negotiated $15,000 in sign on bonus because there was no more. Budget left in the base salary bucket in the financials. Either way, document the added tasks you're taking on so when the time is right, maybe it's budget time.

Maybe it's performance review time. So when the time is right to ask for a promotion or pay raise, you can clearly articulate how these extra responsibilities that you took on had tangible benefits for the organization. Because remember, we are always playing the long game in a salary negotiation. Another option is to ask your manager to support you in undertaking further development or studies so you can fulfill your new responsibilities properly. This could be something like a project management certification, or 6 Sigma or a year of LinkedIn learning.

I have a client. Who recognize that her company did not have room in the budget to offer a significant pay raise, but they had not yet used up their education budget, so she was able to negotiate a membership at a premium executive network as part of that compensation that membership is valued at over $10,000 annually. 

What do I want you to take away from this? The thing to remember is we as humans have a tendency to negotiate against ourselves when we face a fight, flight or free situation. The key is to remember, do not negotiate against yourself. 

When you do face a situation where you have so much anxiety, take a moment and write down what is the worst thing that can possibly happen. If you do raise your hand and ask for more. Chances are that you have heightened the risk in that negotiation. So what did we cover today? We talked about how we tend to negotiate against ourselves when facing unknown situations. We also talked about how it is so common for employers to offer additional responsibilities without additional pay and what to do when faced. The situation like. That most of us are going to be in that situation because employers.

Do want to.

See how well you perform when provided additional responsibilities. So there you have it, my friends. Please do not negotiate against yourself and think about what potential creative solutions you can come up with to find and win win solution. With your employer.

Make sure and check out the free salary negotiations training on my website dorothymashburn.com/fight for your worth. This is an audio training that you can listen to when you are going on a walk, doing your exercises, or simply cooking in the kitchen. I'll break down all of the different things you need to do. In order to determine your worth and confidently ask for the salary to match that worth.

That's all for today. 

Thank you for listening and bye for now.