Episode description

An episode that schools you.

Hello, I am a listener of your podcast and an undiagnosed autistic. My 12 year old daughter is a diagnosed autistic who has had some traumatic experiences in the educational system since they use the medical model of autism. She is very likely twice exceptional (our school has no gifted program to offer her), but she thinks that her brain is broken because so many things are hard. She probably also has social anxiety. I am writing to ask if you and Angela would consider doing a short podcast episode aimed at teens and tweens about the wonderful ways their brains work, what autistic culture is, why it is so hard to fit into mainstream culture/school, how to make it a little better now, and how it can become SO much better later, especially once you find friends who you click with. She feels pretty hopeless at the moment, and does not have any friends to rely on yet. Thank you for reading.

- Autistic Culture Listener

Here’s what’s in store for today’s episode:

* In today’s episode, Matt and Angela explore a fan-suggested topic: autism culture for teens and tweens. They discuss ways to support an autistic teen who might be facing challenges at school and struggling to fit in.

* The education system can feel like a nightmare for autistic youth, often prioritizing conformity and uniformity over individuality.

* Our hosts discuss the challenges of transitioning between subjects in school while also navigating the complexities of an unspoken social hierarchy.

* Neurotypicals often view autism as a one-dimensional disability, focusing solely on the challenges while overlooking the strengths and positive aspects that come with it. They tend to ignore the creativity, unique perspectives, and valuable contributions autistic individuals bring to the table.

* Neurotypicals often follow the lead of a dominant figure, so if middle school girls crown Julie from second period as the queen bee, she effectively dictates who’s cool or uncool, what to wear, and the entire social hierarchy—creating a challenging environment for autistic individuals to navigate.

* Young autistic children often view adults as equals and believe respect means treating everyone equally. However, someone like Julie expects to be treated as a leader or boss, not an equal—creating conflicts within the neurotypical social hierarchy.

* Autistic young boys are often given more freedom to be eccentric, while autistic girls are expected to blend in and keep the peace, conforming to societal expectations.

* As a child, you have less control over your environment—things like your school schedule or what’s packed in your lunch are often out of your hands. This lack of control can easily lead to dysregulation.

* We discuss masking in middle and high school, and how approaching it like a Jane Goodall-esque cultural research experiment—observing neurotypicals as if they were a different species—can be a helpful strategy.

* We talk about finding ways to accommodate your body while at school, even if it doesn’t look or function the same as everyone else’s.

* To all the neurodivergent and autistic kids out there: You’ve got to push through this, because adulthood gets better. Find the weirdos, your people, in school—because they’re out there, and they’ll make all the difference.

* Self-discovery is crucial as a young person, as it lays the foundation for living as a healthy, authentic autistic adult.

* We don’t change the world by being average—we change it by being ourselves. We owe it to the people who challenged the system, the weirdos of the world, to do the same.

“This is why neurotypicals can’t understand autism - because they say, ‘well, I met an autistic person once and you don’t look like them.’ No, because every autistic person is wired differently. The commonality is just that we have lightning brains that are hyper-connected. And this is the reason why there’s a very, very high overlap between autism and giftedness because of the hyper-connected brain.” - Angela

“If you’re a kid who spends your lunch period hanging out in the library talking with the school librarian, you’re a bottom-up processor. If you hang out talking to the janitor, you’re a bottom-up processor. If you go to the teacher and say, ‘Hello, I brought my stack of Pokemon cards because you mentioned that you were in to Pokemon cards in the 90’s, you’re a bottom-up processor.” - Matt

“That’s the difference between masking to be a good girl and fit in and this is how you’re going to act by practicing this, it’s going to come naturally to you. No, it’s not. But if you mask to get through the class and you’re doing it from that Jane Goodall perspective of like, this is a research project, you can preserve a little bit of your sanity.” - Angela

“I don’t understand the concept of high school reunions because the people that I want to see, I stayed in contact with the entire time. I’m not going back to say, ‘yes, I’m 45 and I knew you people when I was 17 and 18. I’ve lived literally an entire life since then. It’s like going back to the 1800’s and being reincarnated and saying, ‘yes, the butter churning sure was an excellent time, was it not?’” - Matt

“You’re going to attract the boring people. You’re going to be put in situations that compromise your integrity. You’re going to be put in situations that make you compromise your morals. The more you compromise yourself, the more dangerous the world becomes. You need to find the people who will support and love the real you. And if you have to do this under the radar, then by all means do it. But be aware that you do have the cape. You must wear it underneath the costume.” - Matt

“Just because they’re in the majority, doesn’t mean that they shape the world. You are in a better position to make the world a better place just by having existed in it. You are going to be memorable. The average people are not going to be memorable.” - Matt

In this episode, we dive into the challenges and nuances of autism culture for teens and tweens. From navigating school transitions and unspoken social hierarchies to finding ways to fit in while staying true to themselves, we discuss how to support autistic teens through these pivotal years. Thanks for tuning in! Share your thoughts in the comments and join the conversation using #AutisticCultureCatch on social media. What resonated with you in this discussion? Let us know!

Show Notes:

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