Over the last decade or so, many of the conversations about porn taking place in the popular media have shifted to the topics of ethical porn and feminist porn. But what does it really mean for porn to be ethical or feminist in nature? Does this imply that all mainstream porn is inherently unethical? Can we really think about the porn industry in these black-and-white, good vs. bad terms? Let’s talk about it! My guest today is Paulita Pappel , a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer....
Jun 13, 2023•32 min•Ep 198•Transcript available on Metacast While it might be tempting to assume that people who cheat aren’t in very satisfying relationships, it turns out that even people who are very happy and in love with their partners sometimes commit infidelity, too. So why is that? Let’s talk about it. I recently released a few episodes of the show looking at women who have affairs (Eps 190 and 191 ), so we’re going to focus more on men today. Specifically we’re going to look at a new study of Ashely Madison users , a website that fac...
Jun 09, 2023•33 min•Ep 197•Transcript available on Metacast Imagine a woman wanders around a college campus and asks 100 different men at random whether they’d have sex with her. Now imagine a man wandering around the same campus asking 100 women for sex. How many people do you think would agree in each case? It turns out that we have the answers because this exact study has been done before! Today’s show is going to be all about how people respond to offers of casual sex from strangers, and how the results are similar or different across per...
Jun 06, 2023•19 min•Ep 196•Transcript available on Metacast In 2017, the world’s first sex doll brothel opened its doors. Since then, several others have opened up in major cities around the world. These brothels exist in a gray legal zone and a lot of governments don’t want them around, which makes it tricky not just to set up shop, but to actually stay in business. So what is a sex doll brothel actually like? Who visits these establishments, what are they looking for, and how much does it cost? Let’s take an inside look at Cybrothel , a very uniq...
Jun 02, 2023•33 min•Ep 195•Transcript available on Metacast Modern sextech is rapidly changing the way people gratify their sexual and intimate desires. Sex dolls, sex robots, and chatbots are starting to become more accessible and popular. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss who is using these new technologies, their motivations, and the complex debate that’s playing out in the popular media about whether sextech is a positive or negative force in our lives. I am joined by Dr. Kenneth Hanson , an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of...
May 30, 2023•32 min•Ep 194•Transcript available on Metacast In the United States, a whopping 89% of teens now have smartphones. Parents give their kids these devices for numerous reasons, with safety being at the top of the list; however, parents don’t necessarily know or have control over how their kids are using their phones. And a heck of a lot of kids are using them for sexting. This has created a lot of controversy and debate. Some see it as an inherently dangerous trend that poses great risk to teens, whereas others see it as just another way that ...
May 26, 2023•28 min•Ep 193•Transcript available on Metacast When people today look back at popular films and TV shows from decades past, they are often completely aghast at the sex scenes. Through our modern lens, they frequently read as problematic. While things have certainly changed in recent years, consent remains an elusive ideal, and one that Hollywood still struggles to get right with on-screen portrayals of sex. So let’s explore how consent culture is shaping the way that sexuality (and, in particular, teenage sexuality) is depicted in the ...
May 23, 2023•38 min•Ep 192•Transcript available on Metacast Picture a married heterosexual woman who is having an affair. Why do you think she’s engaging in infidelity? It is purely about sex and pleasure? Is it about intimacy and emotional connection? Is she doing it just because she can? Women’s affairs can take a lot of different forms, so let’s talk about them. In today’s show, we’re going to explore four distinct types of affairs that women have, as well as how women feel about their affairs. Are they happy that they did it, or do they h...
May 19, 2023•29 min•Ep 191•Transcript available on Metacast Rates of infidelity have risen over the last half-century; however, if you break the data down by gender, it turns out that men’s rate of infidelity has remained relatively stable, whereas women’s has increased. So what’s behind the rise in female infidelity? And what are the implications of this for modern-day marriages and relationships? Let’s talk about it! I am joined today by author Susan Shapiro Barash . She has written thirteen nonfiction books on women’s issues. She also writ...
May 16, 2023•33 min•Ep 190•Transcript available on Metacast Asexuality is a broad umbrella term that refers to individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to others, or who only do so under rare or limited circumstances. Growing research in this area is helping to shed important light on the nature of asexuality because there are a lot of misconceptions about it, such as the idea that asexuality is a sexual dysfunction. But that’s not the case—and that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re going to be exploring a new study that look...
May 09, 2023•27 min•Ep 189•Transcript available on Metacast Where does a person’s sexual orientation come from? Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of studies have attempted to answer this question. This research suggests that there isn’t a simple explanation and that two people might develop the same sexual orientation for very different reasons. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about the current state of the science, including what we know about the roles of immunological, hormonal, and genetic factors. We’re also going to discuss why we know less a...
May 02, 2023•31 min•Ep 188•Transcript available on Metacast Some adults feel highly distressed about their porn use. In most of these cases, the root cause of the problem can be traced back to shame or moral conflicts surrounding porn. At the same time, however, not all porn problems stem from moral issues. For some folks, the problem is that they have what’s known as compulsive sexual behavior disorder , which involves “out of control” behavior relating to porn use or other sex acts. This is the final installment of a four-part series on the...
Apr 25, 2023•35 min•Ep 187•Transcript available on Metacast Research on pornography’s effects points to a fascinating paradox: the people who report the most problems stemming from porn use are often the ones using the least porn! How is that possible? That’s what we’re going to be discussing today. This is the third installment in a four-part series on the science of porn. In this show, we’re going to dive into what’s known as moral incongruence , which is when people engage in sexual behaviors, like porn use, that conflict with their ...
Apr 21, 2023•35 min•Ep 186•Transcript available on Metacast The growing anti-porn movement has fueled the rise of an entire industry centered around selling people on the idea of masturbatory abstinence. Often referred to as a “reboot,” these programs encourage men to forego self-pleasure and orgasm for prolonged periods of time, which they say is necessary to reset the brain and boost testosterone. But do these programs work as advertised? This is the second installment in a 4-part series on the science of porn and, today, we’re going to go inside the w...
Apr 18, 2023•32 min•Ep 185•Transcript available on Metacast How does porn affect us? And are people becoming “addicted” to it? Today, we’re going to begin a four-part series on the science of porn to better understand its effects. For our first show, we’re going to discuss why different studies of porn have yielded different conclusions, why porn shouldn’t be thought of as addictive in the same way that drugs are, whether there’s a link between porn and sexual violence, as well as how we can have more productive conversations about porn...
Apr 14, 2023•34 min•Ep 184•Transcript available on Metacast Although the Southern United States is often seen as a bastion for conservative sexual values, it has a very deep and rich sexual history worth exploring, especially when you consider a city like Atlanta. Often described as “the strip club capital of America,” Atlanta has long been a home to sex work, as well as LGBTQ nightlife. And these “vice” establishments actually played a vital role in the city’s tremendous growth, both as a place to live and visit. In today’s show, we’re going...
Apr 11, 2023•30 min•Ep 183•Transcript available on Metacast Until 1960, sodomy was illegal throughout the entire United States. While this technically made oral and anal sex illegal for everyone, these laws were largely enforced only when sodomy occurred between persons of the same sex. Sodomy laws have since been repealed in most states and, since 2003, they are no longer enforceable anywhere in the country. But does this mean that sodomy laws are gone for good? In the wake of the Roe v Wade reversal, one Supreme Court justice called to revisit the issu...
Apr 07, 2023•31 min•Ep 182•Transcript available on Metacast Nationally representative surveys of North American adults have found that about 1 in 5 people say they’ve been in a sexually open relationship at some point, with an even larger number expressing interest in this relationship style. So what makes people more vs. less interested in consensual non-monogamy (CNM)? In today’s show, we’re going to look at how different attachment styles are related to CNM interest and experience. We’re also going to explore the roots of the stigma against sexu...
Apr 04, 2023•30 min•Ep 181•Transcript available on Metacast A 2023 nationally representative survey of 1,000 American adults conducted by YouGov inquired about people’s attitudes toward various forms of non-monogamy and found that most adults tend to view it negatively no matter what form it takes, from open relationships to swinging to polyamory. Why is consensual non-monogamy viewed in such a negative light? In part, it’s because people hold a lot of misconceptions about it. So let’s take a look at fact versus fiction when it comes to consensually non-...
Mar 31, 2023•31 min•Ep 180•Transcript available on Metacast Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are increasingly finding sexual partners through apps such as Grindr. These apps haven’t just changed the way people find partners, though, they’ve also changed queer men and gay culture in major ways, some of which have been positive, while others have been negative. So let’s talk about the good, bad, and ugly of gay hookup apps. I am joined once again by Zachary Zane , a Brooklyn-based sex writer. He is the sex and relationship columnist...
Mar 28, 2023•36 min•Ep 179•Transcript available on Metacast While the term “safe sex” might imply that there’s a perfectly safe way to have sex, there’s always going to be some degree of risk, both physical and emotional. Whenever you have sex, you’re making a choice about the level of risk you’re willing to take on in order to experience the pleasures of sex. Everyone has a different risk tolerance, though, which is why we all make different choices. However, we have a tendency to shame everyone who has a different risk tolerance, whether it’...
Mar 24, 2023•35 min•Ep 178•Transcript available on Metacast How do we prevent sex crimes from happening in the first place? Today, we’re going to talk about some of the things that do (and don’t) work. This is the second episode in a two-part series about sexual offending. In the previous show , we discussed what motivates people to sexually offend, so now that we have a sense of that, let’s discuss issues of treatment and prevention. Dr. Michael Seto is back for this episode. He is a registered clinical and forensic psychologist and a ...
Mar 21, 2023•32 min•Ep 177•Transcript available on Metacast Why do people commit sex crimes? We often hear that they’re not really motivated by sex and, instead, that they’re about power and control. However, it’s more complex than that, and understanding that complexity is key to preventing these crimes from happening in the first place. So let’s talk about. This is the first episode in a two-part series on the psychology of sexual offending and what we can do to stop it. Today, we’ll focus on the why question. In the next ...
Mar 17, 2023•30 min•Ep 176•Transcript available on Metacast The stereotype we often hear about singles in the popular media is that they’re sad. In reality, however, a lot of them are thriving and living their best lives, which we talked all about in the previous episode . But being single isn’t sunshine and rainbows for everyone, though. For some, being single just sucks. So let’s talk about it. In this episode, we’re going take a look at when and why people struggle with single life and the factors that can make it a negative experien...
Mar 14, 2023•32 min•Ep 175•Transcript available on Metacast The number of American adults living single has been on the rise for years. Part of this increase has been driven by a growing number of folks who simply prefer the single life. And, for them, being single can be awesome. At the same time, though, some singles don’t want to be single and they’re pretty miserable. So let’s talk about the good, bad, and ugly of singlehood. I have a two-part series for you on what it’s like to be single today. In this episode we’re going to ...
Mar 10, 2023•30 min•Ep 174•Transcript available on Metacast In the previous episode, we talked all about the pelvic floor , including what it is, the important role it plays in sexual function, as well as what you need to know about Kegel exercises. Today, we’re going to be continuing our conversation on pelvic health by exploring the world of pelvic floor physical therapy. Pelvic floor therapy can potentially help to resolve everything from painful intercourse in women to erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation in men. So how do you know whether ...
Mar 07, 2023•25 min•Ep 173•Transcript available on Metacast The pelvic floor is a super important set of muscles that plays a vital role in sexual, reproductive, urinary, and bowel function. However, most of us don’t know all that much about it, which is a shame because paying attention to your pelvic health has the potential to improve your overall health and give you a boost in the bedroom, too. So, let’s talk about what everyone needs to know about their pelvic floor! For today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas, an experi...
Mar 03, 2023•26 min•Ep 172•Transcript available on Metacast A lot of people struggle with sexual initiation. In fact, this is one of the most common topics that readers and listeners ask me about! So why is sexual initiation so hard, and what can we do to make it easier? Let’s talk about it! For today’s show, I am joined once again by Vanessa Marin, a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy, as well as Xander Marin, a self-described “regular dude” who left a cushy career in tech once he realized it was more fun to talk abou...
Feb 28, 2023•28 min•Ep 171•Transcript available on Metacast When it comes to navigating romantic relationships, the struggle is real. So why are relationships so hard? And is it possible to make things a little easier? Let’s talk about it! Today’s episode is all about “love signals,” or the signs you should be paying attention to. Specifically, we’re going to discuss relationship red flags and green flags, how to avoid moving too fast or too slow, how to know when someone is genuinely interested in you, and how to avoid sabo...
Feb 24, 2023•32 min•Ep 170•Transcript available on Metacast So much sex advice can be boiled down to just one thing: communication. But how exactly should you communicate about sex? And what are the things you need to communicate about? In this episode, we’re going to discuss the five “sex talks” that partners in every relationship should have. We’ll explore how to get started, tips for navigating each of these conversations, as well as what to do when a conversation about sex turns into a fight. For today’s show, I am joined by Vanessa...
Feb 21, 2023•35 min•Ep 169•Transcript available on Metacast 
