“Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting” is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.
Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids.
Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.
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A parent writes in asking for help to address a teenager's marijuana use. Some teens are turning to drugs in this pandemic as they are looking for ways to cope with the sadness and boredom. Dr. Lisa explains what actually works in getting kids to stop using drugs and how to talk with kids in a way that's likely to keep them from becoming involved with drugs in the first place. Dr. Lisa talks about choices kids might make in the pandemic that could have irreversible consequences, while also offer...
Feb 23, 2021•31 min•Ep 28•Transcript available on Metacast
Should you speak up when you disagree with the approach other families are taking with their Covid rules? Reena discusses the latest news on the spread of the British mutation and Dr. Lisa describes the mental maneuvers we make when trying to rationalize behavior. How do we find peace when we feel uneasy with what other families are doing? And how do you talk with children about the fact that different families follow different rules? For Children Everywhere - “A Million Thanks” collects and sen...
Feb 16, 2021•30 min•Ep 27•Transcript available on Metacast
When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa explains and also talks about the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks. Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of ea...
Feb 09, 2021•33 min•Ep 26•Transcript available on Metacast
How do you get kids to understand the importance of hygiene? A mom writes in that her son is making life unbearable at home because he refuses to take regular showers since he has spent much of the year learning remotely. Dr. Lisa explains the concept of habituation - the process of growing accustomed to sensory input - and discusses with Reena the science behind sensation and perception. Lisa offers strategies to help kids understand why they can't smell themselves and gives guidance on when, a...
Feb 02, 2021•33 min•Ep 25•Transcript available on Metacast
A single mom writes in feeling worried because her daughter is questioning her gender. Dr. Lisa explains what we understand about gender identity and sexual orientation, and offers advice on what to do when you are at an impasse with your child. Parents often feel they need to drive the bus on getting to a desired outcome, but that's not usually the best approach. Lisa and Reena talk about how to think with your child about complex and delicate topics, and Lisa explains what teenagers really res...
Jan 26, 2021•32 min•Ep 24•Transcript available on Metacast
It’s not always easy to be the grownup in the room. What are the teachable moments for our children as we watch alarming events unfold in Washington DC? How do you move beyond intense polarization? Lisa talks about research conducted by social psychologist, Henri Tajfel, who survived WW II only because his German captors never discovered that he was Jewish. Tajfel explains how the Nazis are not so different from us. How does his research apply to present day and the recent Capitol Hill riots? Ho...
Jan 19, 2021•33 min•Ep 23•Transcript available on Metacast
Parents are finding it hard to get their children to feel motivated about school, especially when they are learning remotely. Dr. Lisa explains strategies that might help and how parents can help kids keep the academic train on its tracks. Lisa and Reena talk about supporting children for whom school is an uphill battle, even under normal conditions, and what parents should do if they are the ones who feel like they are drowning. Reena talks about the emotional experience she had selling an old ...
Jan 12, 2021•33 min•Ep 22•Transcript available on Metacast
Lisa and Reena kick off the new year with a look at positive psychology. What is it and how exactly does it work? How do you stay positive when things aren’t rosy? Reena asks about the psychology of manifesting. Does it really work? They also look at sadness and happiness. Lisa shares why the two emotions don't cancel each other out but, instead, often live side by side. In other words, the presence of negative does not mean the absence of positive. Lisa explains that what psychologists call "pl...
Jan 05, 2021•31 min•Ep 21•Transcript available on Metacast
When can your kids get vaccinated? If my child has recovered from Covid-19, how long does immunity last? How do you know when it’s really safe to send your kids back to school? Lisa and Reena get answers to key medical questions about kids and Covid-19 with special guest expert, pediatrician Dr. Cara Natterson. CARA NATTERSON, MD, is a pediatrician who has been helping schools with Covid-19 health and safety plans and a New York Times bestselling author of puberty and parenting books. Dr. Natter...
Dec 22, 2020•33 min•Ep 20•Transcript available on Metacast
We like to think that time can heal a lot, but when do we need to worry about the pandemic's lasting impact on our children? Lisa introduces us to the concept of “ordinary magic” - protective processes that happen at home which can shield children from persistently difficult circumstances. Lisa and Reena discuss the research on resilience and what it teaches us about kids who thrive during hardship and how parents can help. Resources on resiliency: Check out Reena’s show on YouTube “The Rebound”...
Dec 15, 2020•36 min•Ep 19•Transcript available on Metacast
What’s the limit for children socializing online? Many kids use social media to connect with their friends and as an escape from the monotony of this pandemic. Lisa walks us through the pros and cons of being online - from when getting lost in distractions can be a good thing to when digital technology can be detrimental to a child’s development. Lisa and Reena unpack the research on how best to take a break, especially when our kids (or we!) need to give the body a rest from stress hormones or ...
Dec 08, 2020•35 min•Ep 18•Transcript available on Metacast
How do you approach your child when you know they may be struggling but won’t open up? Lisa shares what she learned when she asked teens why they sometimes clam up around their parents. Lisa and Reena consider how much parents really need to know about the details of their kid's lives and the different ways to support children and help them process their emotions, even when they play their cards close to their chests. For parents who feel that their kid broke up with them, how do you regain thei...
Dec 01, 2020•34 min•Ep 17•Transcript available on Metacast
Navigating the holidays under Covid has its own pressures. A season that should be marked by joy is being met with sadness and loss by so many. Lisa explains how taking time to mourn the temporary loss of our regular traditions can help us deal with, and move past, these emotions. Understanding that it won’t always feel this way can help children cope with uncertainty. The silver lining is that finding our way through intensely sad times helps to build resilience. For Children Everywhere - Feedi...
Nov 24, 2020•33 min•Ep 16•Transcript available on Metacast
High school seniors are feeling the disruption of the pandemic as they tackle the college admissions process. How do we help them manage these uncertain times while they plan the next chapter of their lives? Special guest and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo joins us to answer your questions about applying to college in a pandemic. Drawing on research from his brand new book, Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, Jeff explains what he learned while embedded with thre...
Nov 17, 2020•32 min•Ep 15•Transcript available on Metacast
How do dads differ from moms when it comes to raising kids? Lisa unpacks the research on the different roles each parent plays while pointing out that there are no hard and fast gender lines in parenting and that you don't have to be a parent to play a powerful role in a child's life. Lisa and Reena talk about the dynamics that often unfold between dads and daughters and mothers and sons, especially in the context of adolescence. What do all kids want? They want to feel valued and admired. For C...
Nov 10, 2020•32 min•Ep 14•Transcript available on Metacast
Students are finding it hard to focus on school in the midst of a pandemic. But laying a good foundation for how homework gets done is a skill that can be carried into adulthood. Lisa explains the psychological research behind two different kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Is it appropriate to reward kids for doing their work? Lisa discusses what parents can do to help kids self-motivate and stay on task. Lisa's October column in The New York Times: How to Do School When Motivation ...
Nov 03, 2020•33 min•Ep 13•Transcript available on Metacast
How can parents help children cultivate the ability to have tough conversations? How do we teach tolerance? Lisa explains the building blocks of civil discourse and the emotional and developmental skills that help kids engage peers constructively on the charged topics of politics and race. Laurel's Center for Research on Girls, civil discourse resources (scroll down for "Engaging in Civil Discourse" brief): https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/research/lcrg-research-briefs For Children Everywhere - iCi...
Oct 27, 2020•31 min•Ep 12•Transcript available on Metacast
Eating concerns are an issue in many families, especially during the Coronavirus pandemic. What should a parent look out for? When is it time to be concerned? And what happens in the mind of someone who struggles with an eating disorder? A new survey by WETA/PBS Newshour finds that teenagers ranked body image as their top source of concern in the pandemic - with boys expressing this worry almost as often as girls. Lisa looks at the factors exacerbating this problem: social media, the wish for co...
Oct 20, 2020•31 min•Ep 11•Transcript available on Metacast
Parents are faced with new pressures under Covid-19, and many of us are barely holding it together. When does having personal struggles translate into bad parenting? While it's important to be honest with our kids, Lisa explains what’s not okay for your kids to see and experience as you are working through a difficult time. Adding to the pressure, many parents have lost their supportive networks. We no longer see other parents during school pick-up or on the sidelines of soccer games. It may be ...
Oct 13, 2020•36 min•Ep 10•Transcript available on Metacast
What really works when kids just won’t listen? Dr. Lisa explains there are two different mental states that parents should toggle between — warm parent and robot parent. She explains how cultivating a joyful relationship with kids puts money in the account from which parents write their disciplinary checks. If you're clashing with your teen, it’s never too late to turn things around. And those raising younger kids find out why it's often harder to parent age three than age two (hint: threes enjo...
Oct 06, 2020•36 min•Ep 9•Transcript available on Metacast
What should parents do when their kids are fed up and unhappy about school? Psychologists are witnessing the rise of emotional distress in children as they try to manage their disrupted academic year. Stress is processed in different ways by different children - some become anxious and sad, and some act out. How do you get kids to pivot from bad behavior? Dr. Lisa decodes how to identify and work through emotional distress. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additiona...
Sep 29, 2020•34 min•Ep 8•Transcript available on Metacast
Anxiety often serves as a normal and useful warning system - an emotional alarm that rings when something isn't right. Lisa discusses the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety, and explains how anxiety changes the activity of the heart and lungs. She provides tips on how to counter anxiety by harnessing the connection between the lungs and the brain. What is the difference between sadness and depression? When should we be concerned about the possibility of suicide? Lisa and Reena also...
Sep 22, 2020•35 min•Ep 7•Transcript available on Metacast
When should parents hit the panic button over their child’s social development? A mom writes in about her shy, introverted teen, wondering if her daughter has enough contact with friends. What key milestones might kids be missing as a result of the coronavirus pandemic? Lisa walks us through the development of social skills from infancy through college age, describing what we should keep an eye on and what we can do at home to help kids build the skills they need. Email your questions for Dr. Li...
Sep 15, 2020•33 min•Ep 6•Transcript available on Metacast
How do we get through the pandemic without losing our minds? Lisa offers parents four distinct tools to help ourselves and our children through these challenging times. The specific tools are "feeling with" children, supporting healthy psychological defenses, having the right words for painful emotions, and finding ways - like using humor- to rally when we're feeling down. Reena gets emotional talking about what a teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back. Also explained is a ke...
Sep 08, 2020•30 min•Ep 5•Transcript available on Metacast
How do we encourage our kids to be active when they want to couch surf? Lisa tackles a listener’s question about a tween who has become sedentary during the pandemic. As much of the U.S. is getting back to school—often with distance learning—exercising, eating well, and maintaining routines now matter more than ever. Talking to kids about healthy eating comes with an unexpected lesson from a famous neighborhood—Sesame Street. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additio...
Sep 01, 2020•30 min•Ep 4•Transcript available on Metacast
Conflict is unavoidable. Having a strategy can help. Divorce rates have increased in some countries under lockdown from Covid-19. When can a relationship not be repaired? How do we teach our kids to deal with conflict? Lisa covers the research on how to get out of an impasse, especially when parenting teens. Reena shares high school teacher Mrs. Jackson’s words on conflict resolution. How do we come to terms with negative emotions and hit the restart button? How do we get along when we're all st...
Aug 28, 2020•31 min•Ep 3•Transcript available on Metacast
How can you tell when your child is not coping well during this Covid-19 pandemic? Dr. Lisa breaks down what to watch for in a child’s behavior. How much screen time is bad for a child’s brain? She also explains the term “learned helplessness.” Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Aug 24, 2020•30 min•Ep 1•Transcript available on Metacast
Uncertainty surrounds this school year amid all the Covid-19 news. Dr. Lisa talks about what families need most as they juggle working from home and school. How do you respond when everything seems out of your control? Reena discusses some of the work-life tradeoffs that she has struggled to manage, including making the hard choice to go to Benghazi with her breast pump. Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com See acast.co...
Aug 24, 2020•30 min•Ep 2•Transcript available on Metacast
