This is an emotional and Narcissistic abuse Q and A episode. In this episode, I respond to questions sent through the FanMail option on my podcast host. I listeners' questions are answered regarding patterns of abusive behavior and seeking support outside family who may not understand the situation. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com {Substack} Blog About Recovering fro...
Aug 15, 2024•15 min•Ep 140•Transcript available on Metacast Today, Paul interviews me! Paul Colaianni brings his unique perspective as both a former emotionally abusive person turned healer. He shares that abusers often employ grooming tactics like mirroring their victim’s interests to gain trust before turning the tables to exert control. I recount my personal battle with emotional abuse. I describe how she lost touch with her intuition and began conflating my needs with those imposed by my partner. Key takeaways from this conversation include: 🔹 Under...
Aug 14, 2024•49 min•Ep 139•Transcript available on Metacast On this episode, I dive into healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse. This episode covers a few various perspectives and a toolkit for recognizing manipulative behaviors, setting personal boundaries, and nurturing self-love. Key takeaways from this episode: - Strategies to begin the healing process after abusive relationships - Understanding triggers and how to navigate them positively - Tips on identifying red flags in new relationships post-healing Support the show Website: Emotional Abu...
Aug 07, 2024•10 min•Ep 138•Transcript available on Metacast Does it feel like you need to heal from multiple versions of one person? It can feel almost impossible to find acceptance and solace as you heal from a person that did not even truly exist. In this episode, I talk about healing from the love bomber, devaluer, and the unrecognizable stranger (which we sometimes see all in one day). I will cover the intoxicating highs of the 'love bombing' phase and its heartbreaking revelation as a facade, discuss how devaluation erodes self-esteem and ...
Jul 31, 2024•22 min•Ep 137•Transcript available on Metacast This episode delves into the emotions that surface when you can't seem to "get over" an abusive partner. It is so hard to move on from an abusive partner you have an attachment to. In this episode, I will discuss why understanding why it's challenging to move on from an abusive relationship, the societal pressures that make us feel like we should heal on a timeline and strategies for self-care and patience during the healing journey. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse ...
Jul 24, 2024•11 min•Ep 136•Transcript available on Metacast A trauma bond is not because you have shared trauma. On this episode, I delve into the often misunderstood concept of trauma bonds. Trauma bonds are not formed by shared traumatic experiences but rather through betrayal trauma within the cycle of abuse. This podcast aims to clarify what constitutes a trauma bond and offers insights on how you can begin the healing process. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: ...
Jul 17, 2024•16 min•Ep 135•Transcript available on Metacast Amy Fielder joins us to deep dive into the complexities of trauma, emotional abuse recovery, and reclaiming your inner voice. We explore how to identify manipulative behaviors and set healthy boundaries, strategies for healing after an abusive relationship and rebuilding self-trust and tuning into your own emotions. This is a must-listen-to episode if you are out of the relationship but still in the fog. You can learn about Amy and her offerings here: https://amyfiedler.com/ Support the show Web...
Jul 10, 2024•51 min•Ep 134•Transcript available on Metacast You aren't sure if they are a Narcissist or not? Are they too emotional to be a Narcissist? Are you actually not sure what or who they are? If you are asking yourself these questions, this is the podcast for you. On this episode, we dive into a topic that is often scrutinized: BPD. Recognizing these stages allows one to understand what might seem inexplicable behavior patterns — providing clarity amidst confusion. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoach...
Jul 03, 2024•42 min•Ep 133•Transcript available on Metacast Emotional manipulation often wears a disguise; it's subtle, insidious, and frequently masquerades as care or concern. In this episode, I discuss how manipulators tend to play down their actions by focusing on intentions rather than consequences. But here's the TL:DR: impact trumps intent every time. If someone continually hurts you under the guise of 'not meaning it,' it’s essential to question why their hurtful behavior persists despite their professed good intentions. This ...
Jun 26, 2024•18 min•Ep 132•Transcript available on Metacast Co-parenting with a high-conflict ex can be one of the most challenging tasks a parent may face. It requires patience, communication, and above all else, an unwavering focus on the well-being of your child. Tessa from Kind Mama Coaching joins us to discuss her new childrens book, Stella's Two Homes, and strategies for co-parenting with a difficult ex. This is a very important and informative episode. The key takeaway? Keep your kids out of adult issues and avoid making them pick sides. You ...
Jun 19, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep 131•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, I answer pressing questions related to overcoming trauma bonds, whether abusive relationships can be salvaged post-trauma bond, recognizing final straws in leaving toxic relationships, coping with cognitive dissonance, returning items post-breakup while maintaining no contact, handling lack of accountability from abusers, interpreting friends' advice during abusive situations, understanding your partner's expression or lack thereof concerning terms of endearment – is i...
Jun 12, 2024•23 min•Ep 129•Transcript available on Metacast Kerry McAvoy joins us to discuss cognitive dissonance—a complex yet crucial concept that can profoundly affect one's clarity during and after an abusive relationship. Through her personal experiences and professional expertise as a retired psychologist who has authored books on the subject, Kerry delves into what cognitive dissonance feels like, how it manifests in relationships with manipulative individuals, and strategies for overcoming its paralyzing effects. We discuss: The dual realiti...
Jun 05, 2024•40 min•Ep 130•Transcript available on Metacast Going through a divorce can be one of life's most challenging experiences, especially when it involves financial manipulation, abuse and high-conflict dynamics. Victoria, an expert in managing the financial aspects during these trying times, joins us to discuss practical tools and mindset shifts to emerge financially secure and confident, even when going through a divorce. Victoria has a wealth of information and tools on her website: https://www.divorceanalytics.com/ Support the show Websi...
May 29, 2024•45 min•Ep 129•Transcript available on Metacast Narcissists rewrite history to avoid accountability. You are not crazy. This quote resonates because abusive individuals manipulate reality to maintain control and make us doubt ourselves. Remember that abusers target strong people who empathize deeply—this is part of their control strategy. They twist narratives to escape responsibility while making themselves victims—a tactic that keeps them in power over us. In relationships with such individuals, we often feel stuck as they reject our perspe...
May 22, 2024•29 min•Ep 128•Transcript available on Metacast An update on the case of Christina Pierce. This episode was created based off pulling together a variety of public information. If you are listening to this podcast and have $1 to donate, please donate to Christina's GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-bring-christinas-children-home You can follow Christina here: https://www.instagram.com/singlemamamagic Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email: jessica@...
May 16, 2024•23 min•Ep 128•Transcript available on Metacast This episode explores the nuance of the the cycle of abuse. Abuse is not always as clear-cut as physical violence; it often wears the mask of manipulation, control, and psychological harm. It's important to understand that abuse comes in many forms – belittling comments, gaslighting (making you doubt your reality), isolation from friends or family, financial control – these are all red flags signaling an unhealthy dynamic. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdiv...
May 08, 2024•21 min•Ep 128•Transcript available on Metacast Social media platforms are notorious for their bite-sized content designed to grab attention quickly. However, this format often lacks nuance and depth. In the context of relationship advice like Todd's post, there’s no room to address individual circumstances or acknowledge that what works for one couple may be detrimental to another. For those entangled in abusive dynamics—where manipulation skews perceptions—it’s essential to dissect whether compliance serves love or perpetuates control....
May 01, 2024•7 min•Ep 127•Transcript available on Metacast In this episode, I speak openly about the red flags of abusive relationships. For anyone feeling entrapped or seeking support in such situations, remember there are resources available to help navigate these turbulent waters—reach out if needed because sometimes validation can be the first step towards unburdening oneself completely. Red Flags Discussed: Denial of Abuse Manipulation Self-Doubt Recording Evidence Victim Mentality Resistance to Ending Relationship Reaction Suppression Guilt Trippi...
Apr 25, 2024•25 min•Ep 126•Transcript available on Metacast Courtney Gilmartin is at the forefront of advocating change within family courts through her organization New Jersey Protective Moms. On this episode, Courtney brings invaluable insights in navigating the Family Court System that resonate not just in New Jersey but across all states. The term "protective mom" might be unfamiliar to some; it refers to mothers who fight tooth and nail within a legal system that often fails to safeguard them or their children against abusers adept at mani...
Apr 17, 2024•47 min•Ep 125•Transcript available on Metacast Gaslighting is an insidious form of mental manipulation where one person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in another individual’s mind. The goal? To make them question their own judgment, memories, and even sanity—essentially discrediting their sense of reality. This nefarious technique can be subtle or overt but always aims to destabilize the victim and gain psychological control over them. This episode unpacks Gaslighting a little further based on recent questions from listeners. Support the show W...
Apr 10, 2024•6 min•Ep 124•Transcript available on Metacast Ben Taylor joins us again for an in-depth discussion on one of the most bewildering and painful aspects of narcissistic relationships: The Discard. In this episode, we define the Discard, discuss the various forms it can take, and try to understand the "why" behind it. Ben, a self aware Narcissist, helps us understand the complexity of The Discard and why IT IS NOT PERSONAL. You can learn more about Ben here: https://www.rawmotivations.com/ Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coa...
Apr 03, 2024•52 min•Ep 122•Transcript available on Metacast When Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the concept of the Five Love Languages, many embraced it as a revolutionary way to enhance communication and intimacy within relationships. These languages – words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch – have helped countless couples express their affection more effectively. However, what happens when these love languages are used to control a partner? Today, we're unraveling how the Five Love Languages can be twi...
Mar 27, 2024•15 min•Ep 121•Transcript available on Metacast In today's episode, we delve into a profound concept known as "the Teddy Bear Effect," which provides insight into manipulative expectations within abusive relationships. The "Teddy Bear Effect" stems from Patricia Evans' analogy in her book Controlling People. It's about how abusers create an unrealistic version of their partner, treating them as if they were a teddy bear - compliant and devoid of personal needs or feelings. This pretend relationship ignores t...
Mar 20, 2024•17 min•Ep 120•Transcript available on Metacast Are you struggling to figure out what is going on in your relationship? In this episode, I unpack emotional immaturity and its connection to abusive behaviors in relationships. Key Points Discussed: Self-Doubt vs. Self-Work : Many individuals question their sanity due to others not doing their work; it's essential for everyone to examine their behavior. Emotional Maturity Misconceptions : Smart or successful people can still be emotionally immature; intelligence does not equate to maturity....
Mar 06, 2024•25 min•Ep 119•Transcript available on Metacast Have you ever found yourself questioning your reality within a relationship? If so, you're not alone. Many individuals struggle to reconcile the conflicting words and actions of their partners, especially when those partners are skilled manipulators or abusers. In today's episode, we delve into these discrepancies and offer insights on how to navigate through them. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach Email...
Mar 05, 2024•19 min•Ep 119•Transcript available on Metacast Emmy Marie joins me to dive into trauma responses—how they develop from abusive relationships and ways to manage them. It's crucial to know ourselves better without the weight of judgment or guilt. We delve into how triggers can remind our bodies of past threats and activate our fight-flight-freeze-fawn responses. Recognizing these patterns allows us to seek safety cues that bring us back to a state of peace instead of shame or blame. Emmy shares her journey as an abuse survivor turned coac...
Feb 28, 2024•47 min•Ep 118•Transcript available on Metacast Today's episode provides an assessment tool for understanding emotional abuse. Often, abusers distort our reality, making us question ourselves. This tool offers clarity and validation to identify what's truly happening in your relationship. Understanding context, intent, and effect is crucial as they reveal whether actions are part of systemic abuse or isolated incidents. Remember that it’s not about individual behaviors but recognizing ongoing manipulation or exploitation patterns. T...
Feb 22, 2024•7 min•Ep 117•Transcript available on Metacast Coercive control is psychological and emotional abuse involving manipulation and oppression—it often goes unnoticed as it disguises itself as care but undermines autonomy. Understanding it is crucial and this episode seeks to better understand this topic. Key Points Discussed: Definition and understanding of coercive control The relationship between coercive control, traumatic bonding, and intermittent reinforcement How victims may experience pressure to conform to an abuser's demands Recog...
Feb 14, 2024•20 min•Ep 116•Transcript available on Metacast Christina Pierce is a single mother who was stripped of parental rights following her daughter’s heart-wrenching reports of abuse. With each court appearance and every legal document filed, Christina faced an uphill battle against not just her ex-partner but, the judge on her case. Christina's story is one that resonates with too many. As she navigated the turbulent waters of custody battles in Boston, Massachusetts, her journey has become emblematic of a system fraught with challenges. Chr...
Feb 04, 2024•2 hr 52 min•Ep 115•Transcript available on Metacast How do we detach from an abusive partner? This episode explores why detachment feels tough—it's often likened to breaking an addiction—and offer strategies for stepping back. One common obstacle is the urge to control an ex-partner's actions post-breakup—like checking if they get to work—but this hinders our own healing process. We also tend to manage how much they miss us by monitoring social media interactions or ensuring visibility in their lives. Detachment isn't just about cr...
Jan 31, 2024•17 min•Ep 114•Transcript available on Metacast 
