After acknowledging that producer Benny Evangelista had a heart attack recently but is recovering nicely and should return sometime soon to man the knobs we get back to business at the TVTM. And that business is to give the people nothing. ("And loving it!") We actually do have stuff to talk about. The Voice of America was filming and recording Question Boy (Chronicle media and political writer Joe Garofoli) for a story about what journalists are doing in new media areas to enhance their positio...
Mar 16, 2009•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's uncharacteristic of us to ever turn serious in regard to the TV Talk Machine, but we thought it was time to tell you the good news about some recent bad news. On March 4, our friend, colleague and producer, Benny Evangelista, had a heart attack. He's now out of the hospital and well on his way to recovery, but we thought you should know -- with Benny's blessing -- why he's been absent and could be for a couple of more weeks or until he's feeling good enough to come back to work. By all acco...
Mar 09, 2009•51 min•Ep 104•Transcript available on Metacast There's a machine that records our voices. We borrowed Justin Beck to turn it on. Question Boy (Chronicle media and political writer Joe Garofoli) spoke into one microphone. I spoke into the other. When it was over, this is what happened.
Mar 09, 2009•41 min•Transcript available on Metacast Here's the promised podcast interview with Mitch Hurwitz and Will Arnett. Hurwitz is the creator of "Arrested Development" and Fox's upcoming animated series "Sit Down, Shut Up" airing in April. Hurwitz also has a plethora of pilots that could be picked up this season including a remake of "Absolutely Fabulous." He has a lot of insight into the creative process and how things get done in the TV industry -- much of it funny after the fact (keep an ear out for his reference to "Dollhouse"). And ye...
Mar 02, 2009•48 min•Ep 102•Transcript available on Metacast Jason provides a new theme song. The man is tireless. "And loving it!" And yes, we have a normal (wait, "normal") assortment of stupidity, nonsense, non-answers, calls, e-mails, MP3s and a four page script for "Bars" sent in by BobMac from the 707, which we read cold (and badly, but at least with some awareness that we're bad, which might be funny). Also: "You've gotta be cruel to be kind." Wickedmachine beats us down and makes us kill a bunch of our bad segments. Precision anger. All told, we'r...
Feb 25, 2009•46 min•Transcript available on Metacast Well, on the day we get to post the 100th episode of our TV Talk Machine podcast, we now have to expedite the plans for that party. Given the news regarding The Chronicle today, it would be nice to be around for Ep. 200 -- or Ep. 103, for that matter. So, yes, we're going to hoist some beers (and relatively quickly) to celebrate our 2nd Birthday and 100th episode and maybe for some good luck cheers as we attempt to stay alive in the ever churning world of journalism. But let's stay positive here...
Feb 23, 2009•51 min•Ep 100•Transcript available on Metacast Thanks to QB for dreaming up both a Maxwell Smart voice and also Vladimir Putin and Porno Putin. ("I am going to go to Black Sea resort and pick up whores!") Question Boy gets put on the spot immediately and rallies, even if he confuses William Shatner with my David Brinkley. He does come up with Generic Latin Suave Man. (It's a start...). "That's going to need some shower time." Our 99th episode is ripe with stupidity. And we do mean ripe. The onus has fallen on me to do something special for o...
Feb 20, 2009•51 min•Transcript available on Metacast Well, this is a first: We actually remembered our birthday before it happened. Normally it's a couple of months too late. And in all honesty, Manny (Benny Evangelista) remembered. (Of course, he came upon the anniversary date while preparing to tell us he wouldn't get the second of this week's podcasts up until the weekend...but still....). Happy 2nd Birthday, TVTM! Honestly, we had no idea we'd make it to the second podcast much less our second year. And next Monday is our 100th podcast. The on...
Feb 17, 2009•47 min•Ep 98•Transcript available on Metacast The hardest working people in podcasting are back at it. And we waste little time in getting right at it. What "it" eventually is, we do not know. But we know this much: "It" is not entertaining. Bob sends in a picture of him in his shorty robe and it's very short. "Bob's getting it done" we agree. Except for maybe the white socks. He's our third listener to send in a picture of where he listens to the TVTM, complete with a blown up version of the TVTM logo. Bob also honors -- wait, "honors" -- ...
Feb 11, 2009•47 min•Ep 97•Transcript available on Metacast We are joined here by Amber from Canada, continuing our brilliant rush of getting things done in 2009. Our efficiency is off the charts. Although at a later point, someone tells us we're doing too many podcasts and we need to cut back. That didn't hurt our feelings at all. We cover a lot of ground in the two podcasts this week. In addition to Amber, we talk about Hanna from Sweden who -- above and beyond the call of duty -- sent three mugs down to the podcave. One for me, one for Question Boy (C...
Feb 09, 2009•45 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's the Chaser Edition! "A podcast about television." But what will you get in it? Um, face punching, Question Boy (Chronicle media and political writer Joe Garofoli) brings up some interesting new voices. I ate the rest of Megan's cookies and Manny (Benny Evangelista) is stunned by that news -- since he never got any of them. He's less stunned that "Benny's Corner" has been canceled. (There is, however, a "Save Benny's Corner" campaign on our Facebook page...which we really do love -- the peop...
Feb 04, 2009•44 min•Ep 95•Transcript available on Metacast Unfortunately this podcast starts with a certain someone celebrating a certain Super Bowl victory which he rubs in another certain someone's face. We try to offset that -- thanks George D! -- by bringing back some great radio calls from the glory days of Your San Francisco 49ers! Elsewhere: News from television poorly told. Question Boy (Chronicle media and politics writer Joe Garofoli) unveils a special voice. TV Talk Machine on Facebook continues to blow up (we're now taking questions via the ...
Feb 02, 2009•40 min•Transcript available on Metacast I think we're going to start calling this The Chaser Edition, since the Tuesday edition pretty much takes care of all the news of the week, like TV stuff and music and books and What's Benny Been Doing? etc. We might even be able to call this particular podcast "efficient" and almost "fast-paced." Well, no. Probably not. We kick it off with a letter from Australia. Aussies in the house! (Teacher Tim, the Official TVTM Archivist, will have to correct us on whether this is the first Australian let...
Jan 28, 2009•36 min•Transcript available on Metacast I think we say in this TVTM that we have 36 Facebook friends as of Monday's taping. Last Joe checked the TV Talk Machine fan page on Tuesday, it was 54 or something. Apparently it's no longer embarrassing to be our friends. Good news. Elsewhere in the podcast, we make good on our promise to make Manny (Benny Evangelista) a pop culture icon by creating a "What's Benny Been Doing?" segment and boy, is it thrilling. Hey, Balzac returns! Plus: Existential French Woman, a new voice from Question Boy ...
Jan 26, 2009•40 min•Ep 92•Transcript available on Metacast "What has Benny been up to?" We think this might be a great new segment for us. Benny is also on Facebook. Of course I mocked this on Tuesday, but on this day we're just looking to get Benny some love. Also, Benny found out that someone started a TV Talk Machine fan site on Facebook and we had, like, six people who loved us. Of course, we find this painfully funny. Later the number "jumped" to 10. And now it looks like we're going to have to consider defriending some folks. We're too popular now...
Jan 20, 2009•45 min•Ep 91•Transcript available on Metacast New president, new TV Talk Machine podcast. Coincidence? Yes! Just thought we'd ride the inaugural coat-tails there a bit...Not only do we have a new president -- welcome Barack Obama -- we have a new theme song for 2009! It's totally awesome and inspiring! Thanks Jason, you're the best. (And sorry for badgering you and shaming you into doing it...but we love it.) While we're still recovering from Hurricane Sheri, we have quite a few interesting twists this week. First, Question Boy sings. I kno...
Jan 19, 2009•44 min•Transcript available on Metacast Question Girl Sheri from the Vale returns for part two, we get an e-mail from South Africa (hello South America, you are on the clock); and Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) continues his unfortunate impersonation of Porno Dick Nixon. Dave from the 707 gives us a professionally constructed MP3 that includes snippets of Colin Murray's "Fighting Talk" -- Dave suggests we could change our name to TVFTM (TV Fighting Talk Machine). But we could never match the coolness and the well-produced hipness of Coli...
Jan 14, 2009•44 min•Ep 89•Transcript available on Metacast Sheri from the Vale, one of our Question Girl "winners," showed up for two podcasts this week. This one really needs to be heard to be believed. As does the next one. Question Boy (Chronicle media writer Joe Garofoli) got along splendidly with his alleged QG rival. Almost too well, as you'll hear. And he busted out another voice. Which I wish he wouldn't have, because it's skeevy... But I was over-ruled. Manny (Benny Evangelista) forgot his shorty robe and was instead dipped in chocolate. I thin...
Jan 12, 2009•45 min•Ep 88•Transcript available on Metacast We did our part. We rambled forever. We took calls and read e-mails and did dumb stuff. That's what we do. That's our ART, man. So here it is. With one strange caveat. I think we forgot to do Walton. Seriously.
Jan 09, 2009•47 min•Ep 87•Transcript available on Metacast The holiday songs have been sung, the presents unwrapped (thanks, Santa, for the velveteen shorty robe) and we have said goodbye to 2008 (velveteen shorty robe a HUGE hit at the party). Vacation, holidays, sick days -- all over. Time to work in the new year. So here it is, our very first TVTM podcast of 2009. In a surprising twist, we actually have some TV related content here. Lots of it, actually. And by the time our second TVTM goes up on Thursday (or whenever -- some things never change) we ...
Jan 05, 2009•45 min•Transcript available on Metacast So, yeah, we were off for about a month. Vacations. Being sick. "Manny being Manny." But we got the Three Wise Men back in the studio (insert uproarious laughter right here) and went to work on bringing the TV Talk Machine podcast back to life for two versions this week. Question Boy (aka Joe Garofoli, Chronicle media writer) and Manny (aka Benny Evangelista, former savior to the Business Departement and "Tech Talk" guru) join me in the studio as we craft a real piece of work. Or piece of someth...
Dec 17, 2008•42 min•Transcript available on Metacast Yeah, it's late. Whatever. Benny apparently finished his basement work (at the Chronicle, not at Chez Manny), sometime on Sunday, but it's not like I'm home frantically checking for his updates. And yet, here it is, in all of its glory. And yes, it's oozing glory. See the info in Part 1 to give you a pretty good idea of what's going to happen here. Since we're so late in this week's double-dose, we're going to skip a week to try to get back on track. It will allow me to catch up on all the shows...
Dec 15, 2008•45 min•Ep 84•Transcript available on Metacast We cold call Daniel in Toronto and make him answer a very hard question. Then we accuse him of flirting with J.J. Abrams. It's very complicated. And very flirty. And we call him on the usurping Amber thing. And we make another hockey reference (That's pretty much the extent of our Canadian understanding, outside of the beer.) Daniel does a fine job. At some point, we answer questions. Mostly accurately. And take calls.
Nov 14, 2008•46 min•Transcript available on Metacast I provide an explanation, nearly two years too late, about what we do and what you're listening to (hey, we're adding lots of new listeners who have no idea what they're getting into or hearing). After that, we get to a string of letters, accusations, suggestiveness, poorly executed singing and random vocal mannerisms (translation: our usual stuff). I then read a letter that suggests I've been flirting with Amber from Canada (aka Ask Amber). Duh. Of course. But the e-mailer wonders what Mrs. Cra...
Nov 14, 2008•47 min•Transcript available on Metacast Calls and letters from around the globe. A song for Joe. Our man in France resurfaces -- and his name is Jerry. And we all totally lose it in the podcave when Joe does his French Walton. Maybe there really was some kind of genius in not telling people outside of America who Bill Walton really was, because not knowing allowed them to do their own versions. A man for all seasons, all countries. But now, none better than French Walton.
Nov 06, 2008•29 min•Transcript available on Metacast Take the TVTM to the polls with you! Help kill the time -- "and any intellectual curiosity you might have." So sayeth Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) who helped bang out this podcast before donning his Election Shorty Robe (with bunting!)and jumping on a plane to cover the election. Good for him. It's handy to remember he's actually a journalist, not just a guy who does really lousy voices on this podcast. (Though, I must say with glowing praise that on the very next podcast -- Thursday -- Joe does ...
Nov 03, 2008•33 min•Transcript available on Metacast First, a few minutes on drinking and throwing up. But then -- after a lovely musical interlude, we have a chat about "Mad Men." Question Boy (Joe Garofoli) is a huge fan of the series and, of course, I am as well. On this very Bastard Machine blog you can find three long and detailed entries that 1) Deconstruct Season 2 up until the finale 2) Deconstruct the finale and 3) discuss 10 mostly relevant questions about the show going forward. Then after that, we dumb it back down. But, we keep it pos...
Oct 29, 2008•46 min•Ep 79•Transcript available on Metacast A lonely nation turns its ears to the TVTM and we respond by filling those ears with nothing -- precisely the remedy that will get us through these tough times. After administrative machinations deprived the world of the TVTM, cooler heads have prevailed as international negotiators working around the clock in Geneva and also, simultaneously, in a small, secret space inside the United Nations, have reconciled who will "work the knobs" to end this crisis. That would be Manny, aka Benny Evangelist...
Oct 27, 2008•42 min•Transcript available on Metacast It's not a goodbye. We'll be back. And if for some reason we're not, we'll put up a long, teary-eyed post about it then, and wear shorty robes with black arm bands. Until then, we will not partake in emotion, nostalgia or even anger. We believe in radio without the listeners. We believe in offering almost nothing just as you expect nothing. Our 40+ minutes of new media stupidity will return. And hey, check out the current Macworld where we got a nice mention.
Sep 30, 2008•39 min•Transcript available on Metacast Is Girlina a show-killer? Ah, we kid. I told Girlina, who came all the way from New Orleans to be at our Bastard Machine/TVTM Birthday Bash hootenanny, that she was the Paula Marshall of Question Girls. Let's hope not. But as you may have noted on a previous post, this and Thursday's second half podcast may be our last TVTM for a while (possibly forever), since Benny Evangelista is being recalled to the Business department to help cover the cratering economy. If we are going out, we're going out...
Sep 29, 2008•45 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
