How do you respond to unfair feedback? Recently, during team performance reviews, someone on my team received feedback that I strongly believed to be unfair. I argued vehemently and at the risk of coming across as aggressive, something that is frowned upon. Unfortunately, I wasn’t successful in making my case. Having heard Luaskya’s story since then, I wish I had met her before I had gone into that discussion, and could have adopted some of her tact. Luaskya’s situation was tougher. The negative...
Apr 05, 2022•33 min•Transcript available on Metacast When I started my career, I assumed that my manager will take care of me when I am ready for a promotion. I then learned that I could be waiting forever for that to happen. I had to be proactive and initiate the conversation. So I did. I had what I considered a difficult and awkward conversation with my manager at the beginning of the year about getting promoted. He did not seem to have any major objections. Relieved that I had done my part, I did not bring it up again. I guess I shouldn’t have ...
Mar 23, 2022•33 min•Transcript available on Metacast Stepping out of the shadows and taking the center stage takes courage. And I will admit that there are times I have failed to summon the courage to do so, even though I knew that is what I needed to do to be an effective leader. This fear has gotten in the way of many things including being more active in sharing my thoughts and opinions on social media. Talking to Nyna helped me realize that my discomfort is being caused by being overly focused on how I would be perceived. Instead, whether it i...
Feb 28, 2022•33 min•Transcript available on Metacast When I was in my twenties, I had joined a tennis league. I used to drive 45 min from my office on a Monday night to play the weekly matches. On Wednesdays, I spent another hour taking tennis lessons to improve my game. When I think about it, I marvel at my ability to leave work behind and commit to doing something in my evenings. Now when I make plans on a weeknight, I find myself feeling guilty and wanting to get back to my desk as soon as possible to get a little more work done and be a little...
Sep 07, 2021•26 min•Transcript available on Metacast In Silicon Valley, a lot has been said about not tolerating “brilliant jerks” - people who are high performers, but are also bullies, rude, disrespectful and unprofessional. Companies tout valuing culture over results. But in spite of that, I have had the misfortune of working closely with at least three people who were bullies and created a toxic culture in their teams. After talking to my friends and coworkers, I have realized I am not an exception. Many people have had simil...
Aug 10, 2021•24 min•Transcript available on Metacast In 2009, when there was a financial meltdown in progress, I was working as a consultant. My year long project with a client had ended with a successful product launch, and I was back on the “bench”. While any other time, I would have looked forward to enjoying a (paid) break, I knew that given the economic downturn, the company will not be able to afford to keep me on the payroll for long. I was on a work visa. So without a job, my days in the country would be numbered. Thankfully, the same clie...
Jul 27, 2021•32 min•Ep 14•Transcript available on Metacast Until a few years ago, I had thought of retirement in traditional terms. My plan was to dedicate four decades to my career and to creating wealth so that I can enjoy the last few years of my life in retirement - pursuing hobbies, traveling etc. But over time, it has become clear to me that I don’t want to wait another two decades to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I want the freedom to live where I want, travel when I want and spend my time the way I want to. And, I want to start livin...
Jul 13, 2021•25 min•Transcript available on Metacast Learning to speak up in meetings has been a journey for me, and it is one that is still ongoing. Early in my career, across multiple roles, companies, and managers, I got the same feedback - speak up more, trust yourself, come out of the shadows. But eventually, it wasn’t this feedback that gave me the courage to do so. It was the realization that by not speaking up in meetings, I was not doing my job. As a product manager, my role is to advocate for my customers. And by choosing to keep quite w...
Jun 29, 2021•31 min•Transcript available on Metacast When it comes to planning a vacation, I am very thorough. In preparation for any trip, I spend hours going through blogs and other travel websites to find interesting things to do. I find recommended restaurants and make reservations in advance. I have a long, detailed checklist I use to pack. But my conversation with Ada Chen, the guest on this episode of Unseen Battles, made me realize that I have not brought the same rigor to something way more important—end of life planning. I don’t have a w...
Jun 01, 2021•39 min•Transcript available on Metacast In my senior year of high school, I came to the US as a cultural exchange student through a Rotary Club. As a part of this one year exchange program, I stayed with a family in Arizona and attended the local high school. Because I was an exchange student, I was offered a place in the Student Council at my school, a position that other students had to be elected for. But I declined the offer and chose to take a Physics class instead. I hid behind the excuse that I needed the science class credits ...
May 18, 2021•26 min•Transcript available on Metacast I am one of those people who are perpetually trying to lose weight. For as far back as I can remember, “lose 20 lbs” has made my new years resolution list every year. My reason is simple - I want to look and feel better. I want my clothes to fit better. There is enough research to show that losing weight would help me live a longer and healthier life. So I have tried to change my “why” for losing weight to becoming healthier. But the truth is that what motivates me to get off the couch is the ho...
May 04, 2021•28 min•Transcript available on Metacast “Before you climb the ladder, make sure it’s leaning up against the right building.” -Steven Covey Until a few years ago, I had not taken the time to think about what that “right building” looked like for me. Most of my career decisions have been based on goals that were defined by my middle class upbringing - money, title, stability and prestige. For a long time, this did not bother me. I was able to compartmentalize work and get fulfillment through my relationships and hobbies outside of it. B...
Apr 20, 2021•27 min•Ep 8•Transcript available on Metacast If you are anything like me, you have FOMO when not invited to meetings with execs. But at the same time, when you are invited to present, you find yourself falling apart. I suffered through this no-win situation for a while. In retrospect, I realized that I was I putting too much stock in what presenting to senior audiences meant for my product and career. But I am working on reframing presenting to execs as partnering with execs to get to a common goal. Thinking of it as a partnership rather t...
Apr 06, 2021•30 min•Transcript available on Metacast Last year I decided to build a Twitter following, except I couldn’t figure out what I should post about. I gave up after a few weeks of half-hearted attempt, mostly retweeting (although I did have one original tweet about Indian Matchmaking that I am quite proud of). As of today I have 19 followers on Twitter. You can be the 20th by following me @FindParul . In contrast, Shruti Kapoor has around 12k followers on Twitter. In talking to her, I realized that she had the obstacles that I did - havin...
Mar 23, 2021•27 min•Transcript available on Metacast I am addicted to praise, to validation. But it also means that criticism, no matter how small, bothers me. It took me a long time to realize that if I were to measure my value based on what others thought of me, I would be forever be riding a rollercoaster of emotions. Now I am learning to rely more on my self-evaluation. While I still enjoy a compliment (especially if it is related to the podcast), and a criticism still makes me sad, I try not to spend much time mulling over either. In this epi...
Mar 08, 2021•30 min•Ep 5•Transcript available on Metacast When I look at the career decisions I made in my 20s, they seem rather haphazard. Instead of moving towards a career goal, my career decisions were motivated by either avoiding boredom or getting out of unpleasant experiences. I learned the art of setting career goals for myself and finding opportunities to support those goals late in life. In her unseen battle, Ronke shares her story of how she learned the importance of making career decisions based on finding opportunities rather than running ...
Feb 23, 2021•22 min•Ep 4•Transcript available on Metacast What keeps me up at night is not the things I have failed at, but the ones where I chickened out and did not even try. In retrospect, I could have gotten where I am today sooner had I taken more risks instead of taking myself out of the running. The next time, I find myself tempted to self-reject, I hope I will remember the story of Andrea’s unseen battle. Andrea has made some bold decisions in her life, like moving from her homeland, Colombia, to Switzerland to build a new lif...
Feb 08, 2021•28 min•Transcript available on Metacast If you are someone who feels like you are not qualified to be where you are, and to make up for it you are forever chasing perfection (perfect code, perfect presentation, perfect home), this episode is for you. As I work on this podcast, my first one, I have to constantly remind myself that I am as qualified to do this as many other podcast hosts out there, and while my first attempt probably will not be perfect, it will be a creation of love and passion. So it was comforting to see that someone...
Feb 08, 2021•26 min•Transcript available on Metacast If after announcing your pregnancy at work, you noticed that people were treating you differently (and no, I don’t mean just giving up their seats for you, I mean treating you as someone who matters less), you are not alone. Maternal bias or motherhood bias, also known as maternal wall, is a real thing. In this episode, Lauren Chan Lee, a product leader, speaker and mentor, shares her story of announcing her pregnancy to her manager and realizing that this news would somehow forever alter ...
Feb 08, 2021•35 min•Transcript available on Metacast For women in tech, the path to success can be confusing and challenging. What should be my brand? What opportunities should I go after? Should I push back on my manager? Should I stay or leave? What if I make the wrong decision? Have you ever wondered how other successful people know what the right answers are? The truth is they don’t. Even though we often feel alone in our struggles and failures, fear and ambivalence are universal experiences. Every suc...
Jan 04, 2021•Transcript available on Metacast