“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius On this podcast I talk a lot about being responsible for for your own actions and thoughts, but what does that really mean? How do you actually accomplish this? When you take responsibility for yourself, you recognize that it’s your own thoughts which create your feelings. You can step back and see that you can change how you view a situation. Regardless of what anyone else does or s...
Feb 02, 2021•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast "A number of our blessings do us harm, for memory brings back the agony of fear while foresight brings it on prematurely. No one confines his unhappiness to the present.” — Seneca How different would your life be if you could live without fear? What kind of person would you be and what actions would you take if you weren’t afraid? Fear is a powerful force in our lives. It can be the driver of action or inaction. Because it taps into the hard wiring of our lizard brains, it pushes us into reactin...
Jan 26, 2021•14 min•Ep 171•Transcript available on Metacast Today I want to talk about how Stoicism can help us set healthy boundaries. Learning how to set healthy boundaries is not easy. I was never really taught how to do this, and so I’ve been learning how to do this over the last few years, and honestly, it’s been a challange. “To achieve freedom and happiness, you need to grasp this basic truth: some things in life are under your control, and others are not.” - Epictetus The first and most important teaching of Stoicism is that there are things that...
Jan 18, 2021•8 min•Ep 170•Transcript available on Metacast "I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others." - Marcus Aurelius "How much time he gains who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks, but only at what he does himself, to make it just and holy." - Marcus Aurelius Marcus Aurelius warned us worrying about the opinion of others is a waste of time. But, if we live with other people and are social a...
Jan 11, 2021•8 min•Transcript available on Metacast “Equanimity is the voluntary acceptance of the things which are assigned to thee by the common nature.” - Marcus Aurelius How often do we hold ourselves back because of our inner critic? What if instead we practiced self acceptance, and treated ourselves like we treat a good friend - with honesty, kindness, and forgiveness? In today’s episode we talk a look at how we can stop being our own worst enemy, and how being a friend to yourself helps you grow into the person you want to be. --- He...
Jan 04, 2021•15 min•Ep 168•Transcript available on Metacast Today I want to talk about the idea of self advocacy. One of the areas that I really struggle with, and I’ve talked a bit about it on this podcast is the fact that I’m a recovering people pleaser. Too often I’ll put my own needs aside and try to do what I think other people want me to do. Usually it’s not a conscious thing, but a built in habit from years and years of either wanting people to like me, or to avoid conflict. The thing about people pleasing is that it’s pretty much lying. When I do...
Apr 02, 2019•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast Imposter Syndrome has killed more great works, more companies, more careers and possibilities than almost anything I know. When we begin something that we want to be skilled at, we understandably feel like we don’t deserve to call ourselves by the title that would accompany our work. Musician, actor, sculpture, entrepreneur, programmer, writer… We add qualifiers like “I’m working on becoming an actor.” Or “I work as an accountant but my side hustle is composing.” Do I have to make money at it be...
Mar 25, 2019•9 min•Ep 166•Transcript available on Metacast How to be Angry One of the things that I find vexes us in modern society is how to be angry. Anger is not a bad thing in an of itself. It simply is an emotion. When we get angry it is because something has bothered us. We’re generally not taught how manage our anger very well. Things get pushed below the surface, when they stew and remain unresolved. We are often afraid of dealing with someone that is angry because we as a culture, at least here in the U.S., avoid talking about it and dealing wi...
Mar 18, 2019•10 min•Ep 165•Transcript available on Metacast How often do we approach decisions in a black and white manner? We wonder if we are making the "right" choice, which often leads us to think there is only one choice. What if instead of there being a "right" choice or a "wrong" choice, we looked at choices based on their likelihood to achieve the outcome that we want? In today's episode we'll discuss the book Thinking in Bets by Annie Duke. In this book, she teaches us how to approach decisions like a poker player b...
Mar 12, 2019•7 min•Ep 164•Transcript available on Metacast Self Ownership > “I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.” > — Marcus Aurelius One of the things the Stoics teach us is that we shouldn't worry about the opinions of others. This advice is very sound and seems pretty easy when it's people that we don't really know or care that much about. When it comes to the opinions of people closest to you, this is n...
Mar 04, 2019•7 min•Ep 163•Transcript available on Metacast Don’t Kill the Message. Often, we dismiss an idea because it makes us feel uncomfortable. We may dismiss the idea out of hand because it conflicts with our preexisting beliefs. We may not like the idea because it could mean that we supported an opposing view, and we are often loath to admit that we were wrong. We can be blind to seeing the merits or truth of something based on our own feelings or prejudices. Feelings are shortcuts to making decisions, and while they are very useful, we need to b...
Feb 25, 2019•9 min•Transcript available on Metacast Better than you? We are always comparing ourselves to others. It is the ego’s way of feeling like the self-image that is is a good one. We want to feel like we are “doing it right”. Often this means that we compare ourselves with others, making sure that we appear or at least feel like we are “better” than they are. But what does that really mean? Why are we better? Who is the judge of what is better? Can we just look at someone else and see that they are the same just that they’ve made differen...
Feb 18, 2019•8 min•Transcript available on Metacast What if you were able to look at the world and yourself more objectively? What if you could see things without so much judgment or emotion attached? In today's episode, we talk about a basic concept about the self from Anthony De Mello that can help us act in a more objective and less reactive manner. You can read more about this idea in the fantastic book, Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality , by Anthony De Mello. --- Hello friends! Thanks for listening. Want to take these princi...
Feb 11, 2019•9 min•Transcript available on Metacast Time is the most important, the most in-demand resource that we have in life. Are you spending yours wisely or do you let it go to waste? How much time? The most finite resource that each of us has is our time. We can always make more money, but making more time is not something that any of us can do. While we can’t ever know exactly how much time we have, each of us can learn to spend our time more wisely. >“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is ...
Dec 17, 2018•14 min•Transcript available on Metacast Humans are very social creatures. It is our ability to be social and to cooperate in large numbers that has enabled us to create such amazing societies. We usually feel most at home when we’re with others, but there are times when we find ourselves alone. Most of us find it rather uncomfortable. How do we learn to be alone? A friend of mine who went through a recent breakup asked me how to deal with living alone. And while I gave him a few suggestions, I thought that it was big enough question t...
Dec 09, 2018•9 min•Transcript available on Metacast One of the hazards of being alive is the fact that we’re never going to please everyone. We’re going to have people that will not like what we do. People are going to criticize whatever it is we’re doing. And in the 21st century, this is nowhere more apparent than in social media. This weeks episode is about how to be your best online. I’m always amazed and saddened by the vitriol and hate that I see online, especially towards women. It’s as if the anonymity of being online, that separation of t...
Dec 03, 2018•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast What could possibly go wrong? I think one of the biggest mistakes that we as humans make is that we are far too optimistic about how something we’re planning might go. In doing so we often fool ourselves into believing that it will work as planned, and overlook what could go wrong. In this weeks episode, we’ll discuss how we can take steps to avoid the blind spots that can easily derail us. How many times have you started a project, or tried to start a new habit, only to run into all kinds of un...
Nov 26, 2018•13 min•Transcript available on Metacast This weeks episode is an interview with Jeff Emtman from the Here Be Monsters podcast. This is my first time interviewing someone, and Jeff is a very interesting and thoughtful guest. We talk about life challenges, creative challenges, and what it's like to drag main. You can find Jeff's podcast at https://www.hbmpodcast.com/ . It is strange, mysterious, and at times very touching. Hey friends, thanks for listening to the podcast. If you like what you hear, I would really appreciate it if you co...
Nov 19, 2018•51 min•Ep 155•Transcript available on Metacast One of the weirdest things about being a human is how we get comfortable with our habits, and resist change, while at the same time we get bored when things stay the same. In this weeks episode will talk about how to deal with the paradox of change. When one day is pretty much the same as the next, we crave variety. If something is too easy, we get bored and quickly lose interest in it. But when life throws a challenge our way we often complain and whine about how life isn’t fair. So how do we d...
Nov 12, 2018•12 min•Transcript available on Metacast I had the good fortune of being interviewed on Memonto the Stoics with Santiago Proaño, so I'm posting it as a bonus episode. Enjoy! You can find his podcast here: https://anchor.fm/memento-the-stoics/ --- Hello friends! Thanks for listening. Want to take these principles to the next level? Join the Stoic Coffee House Community ! Stop by the website at stoic.coffee where you can sign up for our newsletter, and buy some great looking shirts and hoodies at the Stoic Coffee Shop . Like the th...
Nov 10, 2018•1 hr 8 min•Transcript available on Metacast Are you disturbed by the political landscape that has changed so rapidly over the last 4 years? As more and more authoritarian parties come into power around the world, we see that hatred towards others - immigrants, refugees, women, minorities - seems to be at an all-time high. In these troubled times, we need to take a look at ourselves and be sure that we don’t fall into the trap of hatred and blaming others for the disappointments in our lives. When we look at today's news, we can see that t...
Nov 05, 2018•17 min•Transcript available on Metacast Why is it hard for us to be vulnerable, especially when it comes to those we care about the most? Partners, children, family, close friends - if these are the people we are the closest to why would be afraid to be ourselves around them? In this weeks episode we’ll talk about vulnerability and the real you. One of the hardest things in this world is to be vulnerable around others. To show people the messy, honest, truest parts of ourselves. And why is this? Why are we often so afraid to be oursel...
Oct 29, 2018•12 min•Ep 152•Transcript available on Metacast Do you struggle to live up to your principles? Do feel like when you make a mistake that all your efforts were not worth it? In this weeks episode, we’re going to talk about how to approach mistakes in a much more helpful way. Some of Seneca’s best works are in the form of letters to his friend Annaeus Serenus. In these, they carry on a dialogue as to how to live a better life. In one of the letters on tranquility Serenus writes to Seneca, describing how he feels he is afflicted with a sickness ...
Oct 22, 2018•11 min•Ep 151•Transcript available on Metacast The Un-Pursuit of Happiness Do you struggle to find happiness within yourself? Do you despair every time you watch the news? In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about how to get over this despair and how pursuing happiness may not be the best to actually finding happiness. There’s an interesting trend in a lot of things I’ve been reading online, namely a sense of despair, hopelessness, and depression almost manifesting itself as nihilism. And why is this? Why do we feel like we’re in such ha...
Oct 15, 2018•13 min•Transcript available on Metacast Transcript: I talk a lot on this podcast about anger because it’s something that I’ve been working to manage in my own life. And today, I want to talk about the language of anger, and about learning to redefine and talk about anger in a different way. For those that struggle with anger, we often get stuck in a bad pattern of mismanaging how we deal with strong, negative emotions. Something comes up and kicks off your fight or flight instinct kicks up and you find reacting in a way that is way ou...
Oct 08, 2018•11 min•Ep 149•Transcript available on Metacast How often do we compare ourselves with others? Why do you we get down on ourselves when someone is better than us at something? This weeks episode is about comparison, and how to get past the need to compare ourselves with others, and change the inner critic. In Episode 146, Fear is the Killer , I touched briefly on how one of the biggest fears in life is the fear of judgment. And while I was mostly referring to the judgments of others, in this episode I want to talk about self-judgment and comp...
Oct 01, 2018•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast How often do we look outside of ourselves to know what to do? How often do we doubt ourselves and look to others to find a solution to a problem? How often do we seek the opinions of others to feel like we’re on the right path? This weeks episode is about learning how to find the wisdom in yourself. >“Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig. >― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations The culture that we grow up in can have a huge impact on us...
Sep 24, 2018•10 min•Transcript available on Metacast How many great things have never happened because of fear? How many times did you give up on a dream because of fear? This weeks episode, we’re going to talk about fear, what it is, what it does, and how to move past it. This last week, I had the good fortune to be in the studio at the filming of Creative Live’s podcast week. It was one of the most inspiring and amazing growth experiences I’ve been at in years. The energy that present and the generosity of time and knowledge from so many creativ...
Sep 17, 2018•15 min•Transcript available on Metacast How do you remain true to the aspirations you have? How do you not let other people’s opinions sway you from your principles? This weeks episode is about finding your values and holding true. > “Attach yourself to what is spiritually superior, regardless of what other people think or do. Hold to your true aspirations no matter what is going on around you.” >― Epictetus As children, we're taught how to get along with others, how to be congenial, to fit in. Kids that are seen as different or...
Sep 10, 2018•8 min•Transcript available on Metacast When was the last time that you felt a really strong emotion? What was that emotion? Gratitude? Joy? Anger? Jealousy? Emotions are a powerful force in our lives. When channeled properly, they can be the fuel that helps push us through to accomplishing what we want. They can also drive us in ways that we aren’t expecting or don’t want. I’ve had several listeners reach out to me asking me to talk about how to manage emotions and how to deal with triggering events, so today I want to talk about usi...
Sep 03, 2018•12 min•Transcript available on Metacast 
