In which you, too, can use Cerebro; Jubilee is here, for some reason; the Xavier School should absolutely not be accredited; Hulk Hands would solve many of Rogue’s problems; Sauron gets a gun; Psylocke pulls a Lois Lane maneuver; you really shouldn’t spring a Phoenix costume on anybody; Joseph has (another) identity crisis; and Canada has problems.
In which we are incapable of X-Plaining the Great Lakes Avengers; Pete Wisdom evolves; Douglock hacks the island; Nightcrawler cosplays Nightcrawler; and we find ourselves bafflingly defensive of the Bamfs.
In which Gambit does Stardust; Wilbur Weston holds no one’s redemption; Gambit is unequivocally bisexual; Lucifer is kinda goofy; and we still don’t know what’s in the box.
In which Wild Child makes an unlikely Santa Claus; Sabretooth champions continuity; Random’s last name should’a been Violence; Forge doesn’t have to like you; and Mackie’s X-Factor run gets interesting—right before its untimely end.
In which X-Force goes to Exploding Colossal Man; Douglas Wolk may or may not have superpowers; Karma gets girlfriends; we are already tired of Reignfire; Meltdown and Sunspot initiate a love triangle; and Jay is writing some more X-Men.
In which Kelly and Seagle's X-runs begin with immense promise; dark psychic residue gets just everywhere; Storm's past is literally buried; Wolverine is just saying is all; Cecilia Reyes's job doesn't deserve her, and Cyclops and Phoenix are the worst at being normal. X-PLAINED: The Grey family reunion X-Men #71-72 What counts as an Uncanny X-Men #138 cover reference Baggage and also suitcases Steve Seagle’s (scuttled) Phoenix plans Bone whiskers Telemarketer power moves Cecilia Reyes Marrow (Sa...
In which we actually kind of like a Sabretooth story; we’re not asking for viscera, here; all pants on Earth-616 are tearaway pants; we’d like to see more Wolverine stories about bodily autonomy; Gambit’s hallucinations have hallucinations; and there are probably too many X-books.
In which the M-Plate Saga continues; Jay gets into the spirit of the day; we briefly give up on our primary mission; the story is coordinated if not coherent; Miles is not allowed to continuity-shame about Tolkein; Gaia is extra chill; Dirt Nap discovers altruism; and Jubilee should absolutely not have eaten that.
In which nobody is sure what Emplate actually eats; airport food is not a good peace offering; Larry Hama writes a good Jubilee; the St. Croix siblings merge; and we honestly have no idea what a token is.
In which Bishop gets another miniseries; splinter timelines make fun narrative sandboxes; the X.S.E. goes detecting; the Statue of Liberty never fares well in dystopian futures; “Booger” is not a name you give yourself; and we can’t believe it’s taken us this long to make a hanky code joke about Bishop.
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: independent comics! X-PLAINED What makes a comic independent Superbutch Little Garden 44 Presidents and a Letter to a Cat Finder Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (again) Elfquest Nexus Prince of Persia Love & Rockets Jim Ottaviani's science comics Wet Moon
In which X-Factor bounces from one rock-bottom to another; Sabretooth gets his (murderous) groove back; Dark Beast embraces the iMac aesthetic; the tip was righteous; Mystique multitasks like a pro; and Shard Bishop has come unstuck in time.
In which we disagree about the value of Stan Lee intros; everybody wants Wolverine; Mister Sinister lurks; Haley Blanding deserves better; Thunderbird fights a tiger; and Xavier and Magneto do their usual thing.
In which Jay returns; babies are bad at pretty much everything; continuity flies straight out the window; Cable should speak English with a Scottish accent; Harry Leland knows how to dress; Tanya Trask makes the same time travel mistake everyone makes; and we love Al Kennedy forever.
And now for something completely different. (Death's Head II #1) In which Death's Head gets around universes; AIM fails to recognize closed narrative loops; we need more huscarls in comics; time travel occasionally solves the problems it creates; and we bid a fond farewell (for now) to Al Kennedy. X-PLAINED: Death's Head Death's Head II #1-4 Marvel UK Death's Head I Minion Earth-8410 The far future of 2020 Dr. Evelyn Necker How to dress for time travel Reed Richards's mother's name Earth-12892 R...
Did the Astral Plane used to be this cramped? (Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #3) In which Shadowcat gets a new miniseries; people don't talk that way (but probably should); holograms are magic; the Helicarrier gets possessed; Wolverine fights a computer; and Miles and Al pitch live-action X-series. X-PLAINED: Possession Shadowcat (Kitty Pryde) (more) (again) Kitty Pryde: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. #1-3 A surprising helicopter Frictionless bed sheets S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D. vs. S.H.I.E.L.D....
Captain Mustache, Part the Second. (Excalibur #115) In which Marvel UK was a wild ride; everyone has a definitive Kitty Pryde; Sari St. Hubbins studies her X-Men; Moira MacTaggert discovers contagion theory; ideas do not stories make; Meggan is the heart of the team; and Excalibur inches towards its finale. X-PLAINED: Marvel UK Digitek Excalibur #114-117 What Excalibur's been up to Tunnels vs. sewers An unexpected callback Slang The mutability of Kitty Pryde Friendship Sari St. Hubbins Fashion O...
And now for something completely different. (Generation X Holiday Special #1) In which Santa Claus makes problematic choices; we make good on a promise; Sebastian is the new Deadpool; Skrulls get stuck as animals more than you’d think; Nanny and Orphan-Maker celebrate; and Jubilee stops worrying and learns to love Christmas. X-PLAINED Santa Claus’s flirtations with villainy A new direction for Generation X Larry Hama Al vs. U.S. geography Generation X #32-33 Generation X Holiday Special New Muta...
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which legacy numbering is best left alone; all roads lead to the Antarctic; we finally learn Gambit’s big secret; Erik the Red gets yet a third identity; no one soils the Juggernaut; Maggott saves the day; and we have somehow made (technically more than) 400 of these things. X-PLAINED Spat The tragic loss of the Cyber Comics How not to back up your work Uncanny X-Men #350 X-Men #70 A shambles What’s been happening since Operation Ze...
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the X-Force road trip era begins; Team X takes on a new dimension; Dani Moonstar gets her subtext back; pointing out a stereotype doesn’t excuse using it; Tabitha Smith generally deserves better; platypuses are underrepresented in the superhero genre; Hell becomes Stryfe; and Domino gets back in the game. X-PLAINED A dastardly plot X-Men 2099 Road trips X-Force #71-74 Team X A Love & Rockets reference Stan and Ollie The Triple...
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which the rest of the X-Men return from space; Maggott is the new cool; Gambit's past catches up with him; Chris Bachalo takes over as regular artist on Uncanny X-Men; Deathbird flirts singularly aggressively; Eany and Meany eat a truck; dating a telepathic ninja is going to take some getting used to; and Havok predictably remains ABD. X-PLAINED Motormouth (Harley Davis) Motormouth and Killpower Uncanny X-Men #347-349 Grovel and Spa...
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Al Kennedy and Miles enter a somewhat post-OZT world, the art of Frank Teran (whose uncle built a jetpack) elevates an otherwise merely decent story, Puck is played by Bob Hoskins, Wild Child gets a chance to shine, Mystique and Forge are sitting in a tree, and Swamp Thing is amazing. X-PLAINED: Spider-Man's head cold Sabretooth: Back to Nature #1 Sabretooth (Victor Creed) Wild Child (Kyle Gibney) Horrible violence, expertly i...
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which we spend too long trying to place a time-travel miniseries in continuity, Al Kennedy does us a solid, Bernard Chang draws some excellent New Mutants young and old, Al Ewing x-plains X-Men: Red, Forearm and Random play Nintendo, and we reveal the winners of The Ninth Annual Super Doctor Astronaut Peter Corbeau Awards for Excellence at X-Cellence! X-PLAINED: Jay's spatial and temporal whereabouts Cannonball, Mirage, Magik, Sunsp...
Art by David Wynne. Wanna buy the original? Drop him a line! In which Jay has exciting news, Rick Leonardo draws an impressively creepy mad scientist’s lair, the clouds are purple and so is the prose, Powers of X gets a subtle prequel 21 years early, Cable’s own tolerance has finally reached zero, and we summarize Bastion’s backstory way, way faster than Bastion does. X-PLAINED: Machine Man (X-51) (Aaron Stack) Operation Zero Tolerance (more) (again) Jay’s upcoming parental leave Bastion (Sebast...
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week: Dave Tomaine and Rho Sovia's graphic novel, Keeper! LINKS AND FURTHER READING You can buy Keeper digitally at BigCartel or physically at Studio Two Boys! Check out Dave's band Cave People! Find Dave on Twitter (twice)!
In which there’s always room for another X-cast; Cecilia Reyes wasn’t even supposed to be here today; Sabra has indestructible underwear; prime sentinels are probably even worse pets than quail; Marrow probably swears more than superhero comics allow for; and Operation Zero Tolerance comes to an end.
In which Operation Zero Tolerance continues; the X-Men take over Wolverine; wolverine is the designated John McClane of the X-Men; torsos are confusing places; and we sincerely hope that Jean Grey got to do some off-panel dating.
In which Chris Bachalo changes things up; we theorize about Prime Sentinel hierarchy; the headmasters go undercover; fictional characters spend a lot of time in sewers; M’s secret comes to light; J. Jonah Jameson is at his best in X-books; Jay pitches a video game; Marrow gets a makeover; and part of journalistic integrity is choosing what not to cover.
This would usually be a skip week, but thanks to some generous donors to Equality Florida, Hawk Talk is back! This week, we talk about lawyers and law. LINKS AND FURTHER READING Follow Lyra Foster on Twitter! Check out the Trans Family Network!
In which the X-Mansion has unusually large vents; Cable’s hair should not be floppy; Nate Grey meets his maternal grandparents; and we would really like to know more about the Siege of the Vapor Ants.
