In the first half of the show we discuss ideas a blog written by Dr. Mark Goulston on how to increase the happiness of your "couplehood" The 10 habits discussed: 1. Go to bed at the same time 2. Cultivate common interests 3. Walk hand in hand or side by side 4. Make trust and forgiveness your default 5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong 6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work 7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning 8. Say...
Jan 14, 2014•36 min
We interview Dr. Shefali Tsabary the author of the The Conscious Parent (with a forward written by the Dalai Lama) and her new book Out of Control which questions why and how we discipline children. Some of the issues we discuss with Dr. Shefali: - What are the first steps we can take to become a more conscious parent? - What prevents us from being the parent that we want to be? - Why most discipline strategies don't work. How parenting our children can help us heal our past wounds. - How to rel...
Jan 10, 2014•35 min
It's Cathy's turn to share what she learned after 11 years of marriage. Her mistakes: 1. Being a martyr 2. Pretending to like things I didn't like 3. Not trying things I haven't tried (paradox) 4. Worrying about the small stuff (and not seeing the big stuff)5.Not trusting Todd's ability to parent 5. Wanting Todd to read my mind 6. Shutting down instead of saying what I felt 7. Not saying thank you and sorry 8. Not admitting to my mistakes 9. Not recognizing that letting go is the best way to lov...
Jan 07, 2014•51 min
When I do the annual job of washing the windows in my house, I always say without exception, "I never realized they were that dirty." I can now see how green the trees are, how blue the sky is. We see the world through our own filter. Our soul needs to to be cleaned as well by doing things such as reading books, working with a therapist, meditating, taking a mindful walk, etc. These are all actions that can give us a better perception of the world. Conversely—if you are filling your thoughts/hea...
Dec 31, 2013•50 min
We interview Josh Becker, a teacher for Breakthrough for Men and host of the I Simply Am podcast. Breakthrough for Men is dedicated to making real change in the quality of men’s lives. We discuss why it's much more difficult to gather a group of men (vs. women) for the purpose of self exploration. Josh helps redefine the definition of manhood - society encourages men to be strong and not vulnerable, intelligent and not thoughtful, powerful and not beautiful. And men are using unhealthy coping me...
Dec 27, 2013•35 min
We interview blogger/editor Ben Martin of The Good Men Project. We discuss his blog which asks the question Why is it socially acceptable to speak down to children when we would rarely (if ever) speak to another adult in the same way? Cathy also shares her thoughts on the lessons from the movie Frozen (the trailer can be found @ the bottom of this blog). This movie is all about self acceptance, shining as brightly as we can, and how to utilize our gifts. Cathy and Todd shares some personal exper...
Dec 24, 2013•51 min
Among the topics of todays podcast: We discuss a blog title "Is Disney TV poisoning our kids"? Some people thinks so. Some shows are OK, whereas others are just not good for your kids to be watching. Where's the balance between prohibiting certain shows for your kids and letting them figure out for themselves what is good/bad and then having a discussion about the shows. We contrast the "perfection" of the female actresses of Disney TV vs. what was popular in our day such as the girls on Facts o...
Dec 17, 2013•44 min
We talk with Annie Burnside, author, blogger, and teacher who focuses on spiritual development for individuals and families. In this podcast we discuss the problem with parenting books, why personal growth is the key to parenting, and how to infuse spiritual language and lessons into digestible bites. Annie also talks about raising teenagers and the true definition of success. Towards the end of the show, we talk about the YouTube clip included below. Annie is the author of Soul to Soul Parentin...
Dec 13, 2013•34 min
The theme for this week is forgiveness (big and small) and heroes. Cathy and Todd talk about a mugger who apologized to his victim on facebook...35 years later. In the spirit of the holiday season they discuss other forms of forgiveness - to ourselves and others. They illustrate this with the story of the two monks. and they also talk a lot about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. As we age, our heroes evolve - Todd's hero growing up was Walter Payton, but now he is in awe of others such as Bill Ga...
Dec 10, 2013•43 min
We discuss 4 ways to reduce your holiday stress: Dealing with family, How to cope with a case of the “shoulds”, Setting an intention for the holidays, Register for the 8 days of Holiday Calm Virtual Retreat. Todd features the first of four weekly shout outs to a a holiday movie. This week we feature National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. The Tournament of Bad is in full force as we debate delaying the gratification by listening to holiday music after Thanksgiving – Cathy listens whenever she want...
Dec 04, 2013•43 min
We talk with Nancy Mullen, social worker, author, pastry chef, and advocate for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth. Nancy worked for several years in the HIV/AIDS field and shifted to her work with LGBT youth in 1998 as the executive director of a small, grassroots agency. She is a sought after public speaker on topics such as LGBT Youth and Adolescent Development and Current Trends in Working with LGBT Youth. She is a blogger and author of Urban Tidepool, a memoir that Nancy de...
Nov 29, 2013•28 min
What is Thanksgiving about? Being with family or finding the best deal? Many retailers moved Black Friday deals up a day and now people are expected to work on Thanksgiving or they feel the need to shop instead of relax. We subscribe to not feeding into the frenzy – will you join us? We also discuss a book titled Triumphs of Experience by George Vaillant. The book is the longest longitudinal study of human development. Among the surprising findings: people who do well in old age did not necessar...
Nov 26, 2013•48 min
We were inspired by a 60 Minutes segment about a group of billionaires who took “The Giving Pledge”. It’s headed up by Bill/Melinda Gates and Warren Buffet, and the only requirement is to give away at least half of your fortune. Sometimes it’s easy to look at the super rich and say, “Well if I was that rich, I would do the same thing.” The bottom line is that most people in the U.S. are rich compared to other people around the world. We must ask ourselves, are we doing everything we can to help ...
Nov 19, 2013•39 min
Conversations With People We Love- We interview a self admitted former bully. Mark Schultz is a friend and somebody who told Cathy and I that we had to watch the documentary Bullyand then interview him on his experiences as a former bully with the hopes that we can all learn a little bit from his experience. He shares with us how he became a bully and the unlikely person who showed up to change his ways. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUy2ZWoStr0 Todd's men retreat is March 7th thru March 9th. P...
Nov 15, 2013•33 min
We are talking about bullying…. again, but this time it’s about the adults (Rich Incognito/Jonathan Martin story). We discuss “man code” and the culture of the NFL, but recognize that many cultures have a “code” that is expected to be kept. It’s easy to direct anger at the an individual, but we are reminded that most bullies were a victims at some point in their lives. We also discuss end of life decisions as a result of a news story from last week. As Todd ages, he further differentiates the di...
Nov 12, 2013•45 min
Are you sure about that? Parents of boys say this to us a lot, but this can be a matter of experience or expectation. Sure, it may feel true in many situations, but not hearing a peep from your boys about anything doesn’t mean that nothing is going on – they may just be less comfortable expressing their emotions and asking for help. Maybe a girl does become more frustrated or unsure about emotional experiences or relationships, but this is entirely normal and healthy. They are often more connect...
Nov 05, 2013•49 min
Do you ever feel like you don’t have time to live your passion? You are not alone. That’s why we invited Chicago musician Gerry O’Keefe to talk with us about living his passion while taking care of work and family business. We discuss how to keep your passion despite the responsibilities we have as a parent, employee, spouse, etc., his new album titled “Whatever Suits You”, Van Halen, David Cassidy, not allowing the negative to penetrate our mindset, and finally The Monkees Be sure to listen in ...
Nov 01, 2013•32 min
Failure is important right? We learn a lot from failure, right? Then why do we try to protect our children from ever failing? We have a discussion between the relationship between failure, confidence, narcissism, self worth, etc. The people who have made the largest impact on our world had significant failures, too. We also discuss families who send their kids to an “athletic boarding school” Is this an effort to give their child the best opportunity to succeed, or is it deeper than that? Don’t ...
Oct 29, 2013•48 min
In the Jewish tradition there are two different words that describe fear. The first is called Pachad- “projected or imagined fear,” or the “fear whose objects are imagined.” The second is called Yirah- the fear that overcomes us when we suddenly find ourselves in possession of considerably more energy than we are used to. We discuss the video below from Tara Sophia Mohr describing the differences. We then discuss healthy ways to overcome fear: Analyze your fear Acknowledge it, name it, write it ...
Oct 22, 2013•47 min
Well, you’ve come to the right place. In our very first bi-monthly “Conversations with People we Love”, we talk with Heather Criswell, author of “How to Raise a Happy Child” . Crawl inside the mind of Heather, a noted “kid whisperer”, and see how she discovered (through 25 years and 30,000 children) what works with every child, in every situation, every time. Heather also shares some of her own struggles and she discusses how language can be particularly important when talking with your child, e...
Oct 18, 2013•32 min
Science now tells us that if we react to our children's "failures" with compassion instead of criticism, our kids will have a greater likelihood of succeeding. We discuss these ideas and the book Self Compassion by Kristin Neff. We also discuss the different ways men and women measure acts of love. The good news for the guys is that we use a point system, the bad news is we haven't been keeping score the right way. We announce the beginning of our bi-monthly installment of ZPR called, “Conversat...
Oct 15, 2013•48 min
A listener emailed and said her husband becomes agitated when she discusses personal growth or suggests listening to our podcast. We discuss the importance of honoring where your partner is in this moment (maybe he doesn't want to listen to the podcast), and still speaking up about your own needs (but he can appreciate that you enjoy it). Change can be scary, but it's a necessary and normal part of everyday life. Self awareness is not always about being dissatisfied with yourself or others, it's...
Oct 08, 2013•43 min
Do you have a spouse who travels? Are both the exit and reentry a challenge? Do you feel appreciated for what you do while your spouse is away, and does your spouse feel appreciated for the hard work involved in work travel? We discuss the importance of validation and communication when your partner travels, and why it's important to say what you need. We also discuss the importance of prioritization and how we need to allow our partner to arrive at their own conclusions instead of forcing them ...
Oct 01, 2013•42 min
We discuss the 5 different love languages based on a book by Gary Chapman. The discussion will help you decide your dominant love language and help you figure out the love language of your children (and spouse!). This can be the first step toward a deeper and more understanding relationship with your family. Todd also discusses a feel good story about a homeless man named Glen James and what he did to change his own luck. Interested in having Cathy/Todd speak at your school or scout meeting? Ema...
Sep 25, 2013•41 min
We discuss “Rachel’s Challenge”, a presentation for schools that focuses on kindness and self-awareness. This program that has reached over 19,000,000 people. Each day 160,000 students do not go to school because they are bullied, teased and harassed. By turning the story of a tragic death at Columbine High School into a mission for change, Rachel's Challenge is helping create safer learning environments and making a world-wide impact. Rachel's Challenge is a series of student empowering program...
Sep 17, 2013•48 min
We discuss a blog titled The Conversation You Must Have With Your Sons by Carina Kolodny. One out of five college girls are sexually assaulted. As parents we do everything we can to help our daughters make smart decisions and stay out of difficult situations. Are we having conversations with our sons about making responsible decisions? Or does this kind of conversation feel unnecessary or uncomfortable? Cathy fires back at the people who say the lyrics to Robin Thickes' “Blurred Lines” are not t...
Sep 10, 2013•38 min
What does it mean to "succeed"? To us it means self awareness, connection to the whole, and sharing your gifts and talents. On this show we share a few ways to help your child find greater success. 1) (6:10) Send them to overnight camp. Benefits- Give your child a sense of independence that is hard to duplicate in their normal day to day lives. It’s a safe setting They can “shed” their old selves and be who they are There is less focus on appearance It’s a place where children can feel grounded ...
Sep 03, 2013•44 min
We discuss an article in Psychology Today titled What Happy People Do Differently The Real Rewards of Risk- When anxiety is an optional state A Blind Eye to Life's Vicissitudes- The benefit of seeing the forest but not the trees The Unjealous Friend- We're buoyed by others' good fortune A Time For Everything- The upside of negative emotions The Well-Being Balancing Act- Pleasure and purpose work together Reverend Ed Bacon coming to speak @ Dominican University on Thursday, October 3rd Give us a ...
Aug 27, 2013•44 min
8 things to help deal with back to school anxiety Why Ashton Kutcher’s stock skyrocketed for Todd One man’s message to his daughter- “I hope you have great sex” 4:27 Anxiety is normal. Sometimes parents tell their kids not to feel anxious. Listen Ask questions Be engaged Own your role in the situation Know you’re not alone It gets easier Advocate for your child in dealing with “inschool” sadness Ask for support for teacher 12:16 Chidren’s disappointment with classroom assignments. Todd balances ...
Aug 20, 2013•49 min
3 things every parent should know, Hunger Games Camp, & what Taylor Swift can teach our kids
Aug 13, 2013•48 min
