Previously on the Zed1 Podcast. What do you suppose you've got another band back there? I think it might be the Diesel. What? That was running out. More like it's going to stay up. Is that even a real thing? It's absolutely a real thing. Right. Well if the Diesel was dying then I think you should take me out of shock in one last time. What about Swindon? For me? No. That was a joke. We agreed ages ago, do you remember? Swindon is a no-go zone.
Warning. This is a work of fiction. Everything you're about to hear has been fabricated, including character opinions, and all events that follow should be considered as entirely imaginary. Even the pets aren't real. The town of Farrandon does exist however, and it's actually quite nice. So go visit if you want. Well, I think the last of the summer is finally gone. Oh, thank you for that web report, Carol Kirkwood. It's been like this all week.
I'm of a nature is seriously pissed. I'd say so. I've just seen a Zed kill by falling conquer. What? Landed right in the middle of its forehead. Didn't kill us straight away mind. Just kind of looked at it all bon-eyed and confused. Then the rest of the branch came down on top of her. So it was a treat at Kilda? No, that only trapped her. It was the recycle bin that flew past which finished her off. Sounds all very final destination-esque.
Well, when it's your time to go, it's your time to go, even for the undead. So, are you risking the trip to Swindon or not? You still want to go. In this? I think we have to. It's not getting any warmer, and besides, we'll spend all this time packing and getting ready for the trip. Although, I can't for the life of me find you talking walkie. Thinking about it, I haven't seen it for a while.
Ah, yeah. Fun story. Edna's got it, isn't she? Yeah. So, if anyone else to add to the shopping list then, what have you got those cushions for? Oh, these are for you. For sitting on. So you can see over steering wheel. If this really is our last ride in the ice cream truck, then I think you should drive.
Ah, it's like giving me a last row, though. Right, remember our fuel situation. So, slow and steady and don't break too hard, and there'll be probably a lot of side winds on the way down. So, watch out for flying zombies. Flying zombies? Yeah, it's possible that some of the more rotten sets will get picked up and tossed around by the wind. Very dangerous. Be on the lookout for boi ecoats. Okay, got it. Right, park up here then, but keep the engine running.
That's it. I didn't think I did too badly there from the first and possibly last go in the van. Well, given the conditions were terrible and you were driving blind for a while when your cushion slipped off, you did great. And there was some expert swirving around all the sets, lightening outside the wind and football club. I was so tempted to move a few down.
But I kept my call and managed to rein in my road rage and to swore at them instead. Yes, the particular highlight being when you're rolled down the window and shouted, get out of the way you filthy cock-wumbles. So, what's the plan? And why have we parked up here? We've either gotten a bit closer to the town centre, surely.
Well, we don't know how busy it's going to be. If it's anything like what was outside the footy ground, then we've got to be really careful. It's not an easy place to get in and out. So, I'm going to scout ahead on foot and you're staying here. Uh-huh. Can't I drive around a bit more? Please, the worst of the weather seems to be clear in and I'll be careful. I'll only go up and down some quiet streets and miss driving.
Oh, fine. But make sure you come back here to this spot. I'll be back here in half an hour. Don't be late. What the hell happened here? I only left you alone for a few minutes. What? Nothing happened. I didn't do anything. I just went for some quiet driving, like I said. And to a fucking abattoir, Katie, there's guts and all sorts of pebble dashed all over the side of the van. Oh, that. That was just a little run in there with some of the locals. Everything's fine.
Your wing mirror is missing. Never mind about all that. Give me the status report, soldier. It's conversation ain't over. Just tell me what the town centre is like. Oh, it's not looking good. There's definitely some signs of rioting in the shopping centres and since then, Azet's kind of took it over and continued a job. On a menu? Quite a few menu about, yes, but scattered. I think we can get around them. What about the condition of the shops? What about Tesco's? Trashed.
Devonams? Destroyed. Pymark? Pillage. Poundland? Plundered. Wheelcoes? Rect. M&S. Now stands for Messian-Smashed. Waterstones. Wipe towel. Argos. I can't think of a suitable synonym right now, but let's just say it's completely fucked. They've even torn up and chewed those laminated store catalogues. Bloody savages. Are there any stores that have escaped? That comic book shop having the Brunelles Centre. Forget that. Nothing worth while in there. What a shum out of that.
Oh, it's nothing useful or meant. Not unless you need a fire. Oh, and that health food place is relatively unscathed as well. Wow. Yeah, so I suggest we get down there and fill up on all the Kia seeds and dry seaweed and what's that posh rice stuff that no one can pronounce? Quinoa? Quinoi? Quinoa. That's the one. As for the other shops, I've got a plan. Some of these will have untouched stop rooms, so I'm thinking we should head to one of those.
Okay, let's try wheelcoes. We'll be able to get most of what we need in there. Come on, jump back in. We can see if we can find that wing mirror that's lost on the way down. Trust me, it's not retrievable. Not without gloves and a PhD and exhuman anatomy. Jesus Christ. Maybe it's best I don't know what when I'm. Right, why don't you step through here? Wow. Clean up in hours of one fruit of 60. It's a complete mess, even the garden in section smashed to pieces.
I mean, I know Ryan can get out of hand, but who takes their frustrations out on a half-priced gazebo? Shhh. Beyond guard. We're only interested in the staff. Those are the guys we need. The ones with a belt clips and a dangly keys. Don't waste your energy on the punters. I'll look left. You look right. Right. I can see a zombie ambling about in kitchenware. Is it staff? No, I don't think so. He has a notice to us. It's more interested in the casserole pans.
Leave it be then. Nothing to add on my side in toritries. You better get down there and grab some razors. Don't try and change me, woman. They're for me. They're on the list. All right. All mones, yeah? Of course. All clearing the bathroom access to resection. Dark. Rubber ones? Yes. Have those on the third shelf down the left. No, just get down. Zeds. We can sneak past, but keep low. Oh, there. Bout enough to COVID-screen behind the teals. But this member of staff.
Right. I'll take this one. You keep watching. Be my guest. Can't reach it over the screen. Can you give me a stick ladder? Can we pass them back there? They'll be in decorating. Right. On it. Oh, he's gone. I can just chat to you. Can't be that difficult. He talks to you a lot all the time. Oh, yeah. So... Oh, they must owe you a lot of overtime, eh? If you've been stuck here all along. That's dedication, that is. Get it? Dead. Ecation? Oh, I can't do this. Aaron, where's my stick ladder?
Come in. You know, you can just ask for help and I can get the zombie for you. No. Everything's in hand. Thank you. Well, not to put you under any pressure or anything, but you got about 20 seconds. Because those zeds we slipped past, they're doubling back. Yeah. Right. Got keys. Let's head to the back. This better not be a dry hub like that bloody defensor academy. Oh, my. Quite a little bit crazy. Weave a jackpot. Can't see. Yeah. Yeah. Next time on the Z1 podcast.