Let me finish. This is the first time I committed a hate crime.
Maybe they'll jerk my dick off for it, you know, like something like that.
Yeah, probably we've disgusted. I'm associopath. You are thras died my shit order any trash shit. You're a worst friend.
Do want to know why you're all fucked up?
Just look at the fucking problems you hang around with. You're listening to your worst friend, Shane Mett. I'm met and I'm joined today by my friend and co host Shane Hi. I'm gladim here the monkey. This is episode two forty nine, the penult, which is a word I just learned about fifteen years ago episode of Your Worst Print. That's a good word. It's a fun word. Is there a third from last? Fucking the pen weakest? So in horn ridging? First places, win, second place is dose place? Okay,
third places? Birdie show pretty close. I mean it was a sport. Yeah, it is a game. I spent a lot of off as a game. Oh yeah, I mean, what am I going to disagree with you? I'm not a big golf guy. Oh no, hey, fuck you, you don't understand the d Okay, all right?
Jack Nicholas was the best athlete to ever grace the Green.
You know what is interesting though, you said you started watching some football watch some like a behind the scenes thing when they're going over like plays and stuff and what it takes to call a play and how that's signaling each different person on the field to do a different thing, or each different set of people to do something.
And then in the moment they get up to the line and they're like, oh, our play is not designed for this defense whatsoever, So then you have to change it and adjust it, and it's it's I'm not saying these guys are rocket scientists obviously, but it is a different kind of intelligence. That's why there's so many like athletic quarterbacks that just don't have the processing ability to like play a sport like football like that.
Yeah, it's like like one of those John Conway Game of Life things where it's like you you have like a set of initial conditions and then based on how the pieces are arranged, you'll have a different outcome. It's a little different with the Conway machines because they're like they are mathematical devices, but the idea I think is the same. It's like your your you're looking at pieces on the field. It's as similar to chess, but like the fact that it's like a kinetic thing, right, like
the both sides are moving at the same time. That's that's where I see the the comparison there. But yeah, I completely agree with you, Like, that's what that fascinates me most about sports is the strategizing. That's why I'm really interested in chess. I suck at playing it, but I'm really interested in how these guys like can look at the board and see like ten moves ahead.
You know already. It's so funny you bring up chess because as I had the football on in the background yesterday while I was I was editing, but I look over and there was a camera angle that makes me go, oh, this is harder than chess. Just it's weird. That popped up. And my thought was, there's eleven guys on each side, blah blah. But imagine if you were trying to play chess like directly in line with all of the pieces, like I understand the top test players.
And you were moving them all at the same time.
No, no, no, no, I don't even mean like that. I mean just strategizing in the way you said being like, imagine if all the chess pieces were seven or eight feet tall, right. I just think being able to see from an overhead perspective gives you gives me at least the ability to see multiple moves ahead. And oh sure, yeah, absolutely, yeah. And when you're on a football field, think about it. You have three hundred pound guys who run forty yards in four point four seconds coming at you, full speed,
full strength, and here's what you have to do. Play chess at eye level crazyat it's pretty it's like what's it called today? I was driving home.
And I, yeah, I think I'm a pretty observant driver, like vigilant. And I saw a shadow cast on the road in front of me from a car going the opposite way on the other side of the highway. And my immediate reaction was like, foot off the gas, get it over the break. It was just like instant, but it was a shadow, you know, it was just like this instant, like muscle memory type, like, oh, be prepared.
Something's coming at me on the road.
I think that probably the amount of times they rehearse the plays, the amount of like mental fortitude that the player has how much they actually study the plays as opposed to just like running them on the field, like taking it home and memorizing things.
That's got to play a big part in it too.
I can't imagine like that these guys only train their bodies and don't try to train their minds a little bit.
Well, you know, it's funny this year, specifically, in the last few years, people have been pointing out, like, oh, football's getting kind of like shittier, Like guys aren't playing as well, quarterbacks aren't playing as well, it's not as smooth of an operation. And ironically, in the last few years, they've significantly reduced practice time ah players because players don't want that wear and tear on their bodies, like they
play a physical sport as is. If you get a concussion during practice, it's like, well, fuck, like that sucks. That's like a waste of a concussion.
Why don't they just practice with like nurse balls.
Oh, holograms, that's good. I was gonna go for something childish and immature. You just went with something that doesn't exist.
Yeah, Oh dude, they got a tupacn movie.
Just give them footballs instead.
Yeah, just have all the players tackling Tupac Holograms.
There was one day that I was editing this episode, one of the episodes, not in this episode. That'd be weird if I had the foresight to know I was going to fuck up like this on this one. Yeah, so you edited a new episode in advance, I will fuck up the same way. But I was doing a I was just dragging my feet on cutting it because there's one of those ones where I had to cut Peace by piece by piece because something got fucked up. And on my third monitor over here, I was just like, man,
I should just put on Tron Legacy right now. You ever seen it? It was three point thirty four in the morning. I had work at nine, had to drive gend to work at eight, and I was just like, let's watch Tron Legacy. And I did and it wasn't bad. It was not bad.
The last time I did that, like stayed up late and watched a movie while everyone else is asleep, was Fuck Prisoners with Jake Joeen Hall, that torture movie.
I want to watch it so bad, and I've seen scenes of it. I just feel like it's gonna and I know the ending. I just feel like it's really gonna bum me out the whole Yeah, the reality of it.
Yeah yeah, yeah, you'll love it.
It's great. I I yeah, I can't do that. I don't know. I can't do it, and I can't do it anymore. Oh really. I tried to watch Terrifier three the other day. I wasn't disgusted by. I fell asleep. I fell sleep through the entire thing. She gets to It shows her with her new like adoptive family whatever, it's her cousin or Anne or or something. Yeah. Yeah, And I woke up to directed By at the end and I was like, wow, fuck, Okay, missed the entire thing. Jen didn't like it as much as Too. Yeah. Too
is the best one. Really, Okay, I think so interesting? Good? Good enough? All right? Did you put together the list I told you to put together? No? What was the list? Top three CEOs you think deserved to be shot in the back? Oh? Yeah I did. Actually it was it was the company I worked for, the company you work for, and Apple Podcasts.
It was a Chevron. No, I'm not Chevron. What's the what's the little quickie mark attached to Chevron? I don't have a problem with the oil industry. I just got a problem with the the fucking sandwich shops that they're hosting at their gas stations.
They really got a franchise better. Why what's wrong with them? None of them are good, if we're being honest. No gas station one is seven eleven's are good. Wah wahs are good. But those I'm counting those as like stores, you know, like you're not to see a fucking who did you just say? Not Conico Phillips, who'd you just SAYMPM? Chevron, you didn't say a MPM? Do you know your own words either? Or is it just me?
I don't know the difference between the gas guys and the guys who fucking ripped me off for breakfast burritos. But they're they're one and the same. But you know, I just don't want to get any you know, honest oil mogals shot down.
I understand they're just doing the lord's work. There was some clip going around on social media Billy Bob Thornton from some New show landman or something. He's an oil rig guy. It looks it looks or not rigged. No oil Derek oil Barren Tycoon. Well now he just works in an oil field. But a rig, A rig feels like water, isn't it.
So he's just like a southern dirt bag. He's just a piece of well paid piece of shit. Yeah it looks good though. It looks like a good show. I like Billy Bob Thornton.
But he explained, he goes into this whole explanation about how getting oil out of everything that it's tied to in society, from plastics and medicines and this and that. He said that's gonna take two hundred years if we ever get there. I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, So I'm pointing it out. It's just you said oil, and I thought of man, maybe we should kill that guy. And then I was like, oh wait, I remember that clip. They said the word oil in that clip. I better bring it up loudly.
I saw some woman being interviewed the other day. I forget what her name was, but she has like a she has a podcast series where she has people come on and talk about things that they changed their mind about, like big things, like big big.
Issues change my mind on abortion change, right, like big huge topics.
Okay, yeah, so one of them was like a senator who changed his mind on climate change. Went from a skeptic like or not not escape us, like a believer in the science, to being a skeptic. So I haven't watched it yet. I heard her talk about it, but she was talking about how one of the big things like that, I say, and it applies a lot to
climate change, abortion, those hot button issues. It's just like how people dichotomize an issue in their head instantly, like they make it like about it has to be stop now or never and that, and that's the only way they can see it's black or white. When Billy Bob Thornton says like it's going to take two hundred years to goe all that stuff out, maybe it'll take infinity years,
you know. Maybe what what what the question is is not like when will we no longer have fossil fuels, Maybe it will be or maybe it should be how much is too much? And when can we use these these things? Like I can imagine crises in the future, right like a nuclear meltdown or just some sort of electric catastrophe, some sort of a blackout with solar arrays where it would totally make sense to have to just start using fossil fuels again, and that would be the
best alternative. And so it's the idea that like, we have to get rid of all fossil fuels and we have to do it now.
That's like a red herring.
That's it's just like not even a real argument, you know, it really has to has to be realistic. We have to just talk about, hey, how long can we keep on doing this before we really fuck the planet up? And then I think people already doing this. What are the plastic safe alternative or the non plastic safe alternatives? When can we get them up and running? What are the cost what are the ecological costs? Like all these questions could have answers, you know, it's just that we're stuck on like.
Oh, they want us to get rid of fossil fuels now, yeah, but what do we do to the CEO if they don't get rid of fossil fuels? Now?
We just call a little Italian plumbers brother, have him hunt hunt the CEO through Manhattan for three weeks and then see see what he can do.
I For people who have not heard the they keep calling him the CEO of United Healthcare, He's like a vice president CEO.
It's like of a division, you know, He's like the CEO of ripping off like you know, forty five to sixty eight year olds.
You have the CEO of the guy who creepily sells you the porn at the front of the store and gives you singles. You have the CEO of the guy who works the mops in the back. Like there's different.
This is the CEO for the bucket boy.
I got it. Yeah, bucket boy does not know anything about change counter at the front. Yeah.
Yeah, it's all compartmentalized so that way the big wakes up at the top of the porn pile. They can fucking keep all the dough for themselves.
Right. I got a question. You're in a porn shop. You touch something gross up at the front of the counter, so I breathe, so I've taken my hands out of my pockets. You touch something gross at the front of the store. Is a antiseptic pump. But it looks like it's been through the first nineteen covids, all of them, and has continued on into the future. I mean, it is filthy looking, but the fluid inside is clear because it's like the cheap shitty hand sanitizing.
And I'm assuming this is a hand pump. It's not an automatic.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's sitting on the counter. It's one of those looks like one of those cheap jugs of water from whatever crystal springs or whatever it is. And it's sitting on the counter. I'm picturing the porn shop local to me, and behind the counter is a gentleman that's either severely overweight or so thin from being tweaked out. But no one ever has energy in the store.
It's always very mute. It like, I get it, you're not trying to upsell, but at the same time, and there's this container up there of just the I mean, it's clean on the inside, but it looks like it was on a construction site earlier. Do you go home with the gunk on your hand or do you take a pump?
Well, I mean, I have hand sanitizer in my car, but I'm assuming I say, that's yeah, that's not allowed.
Just yeah, I guess.
I guess on this particular day, I decided to be a disgusting, fucking sex pervert and you know, expose myself to airborne cum particles without bringing my hand sanitizer. Yeah, I probably wouldn't touch that gross thing. I'd probably just go home all nasty.
Yeah, and you just kind of try and not touch the steering wheel as much to drive with my fucking my knee, my panted knee. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, yeah same. I never do it. I always have my hand sanitizer. I'm just I like to plan for hypotheticals, obviously.
You know, I really hate just walking into any public restroom ever. Like there's some that are so nice and clean that it's like, oh, okay, I could, I could sleep here. But anytime I walk into a public restroom, I'm holding my breath as long as I can, and I usually can't last the whole time, so then I have to take like a deep breath and it's all just like shit and pissed particles all floating in the air.
You know.
It's the fucking worst.
Why is it that when something stinks so bad like shit, my first reaction is to close my mouth and breathe in through my nose because you.
Don't want to bar right taste it.
But it's oh okay, see, but that's the thing. I've never really tasted shit before, so I don't know. It could be delicious. It could, yes, you have. But at the same time, the worst thing you can do with shit, I feel like, besides free use it and eat it like a popsicle, is smelling it. Okay, well, sure you can mold it into a shit fletched light? Is that a category?
Oh?
Is this shit dildo? You're gonna stick it in yourself? You gotta freeze it, right? Yeah? Yeah, it's a you know, like a popsicle. Butt fuck. Isn't there some fucking urban myth about someone shitting in a condom and freezing it and then a girl fucking herself with it.
That's pretty cool. I don't I never heard that, but I do think it deserves a name, an.
Urban myth or one of those like, oh, it's either an urban myth or a saw trap. Yeah, so what'd you think of that story? In case people haven't heard, the CEO of the whatever company United Healthcare, the subdivision he just got like shot in the back by a guy guy walked up to him. At first, it looked the first analysis I read of it, it looked so smooth, And then people were like, oh, it wasn't at all very smooth.
Yeah, I'll tell you, I uh, I mean, very little has come in about the shooter. But I called it in like in the moment, I was like, this is not a hit man. This is nobody smart, this is nobody special. This is a crazy person. And I bet you he fucked up a lot. And then you look at you know, leaving Prince, leaving DNA, getting his face photographed, writing on the shell case things. It's like just stupid, stupid, stupid amateur moves that no real you know, master assassin
would have ever done ever. But the brazen just murder in the middle of the street and then getting away from authorities, that that was pretty cunning, I will say, like it like just how he how quickly he was able to get away from the scene and get out of the state and everything.
So I was texting Blander about it, and I am so I'm weirdly torn on this one, in the way I'm weirdly torn about hard drugs. I believe what I believe about people's bodies and control over them and this and that. So by those metrics, you would think, oh, well, he's for legalizing drugs. And then I have that personal issue with my brother and it weighs on my principle, Like if I had to decide. If I had to vote,
I would go with my principle. But when your morals really like bleed in there, sometimes it's hard for me to kind of come to a definitive feeling on something. And maybe you don't necessarily have to have a definitive feeling on something, especially if you're not deciding something like if you're a surer, yes you should have a definitive feeling. But me, I'm just some fucking guy. So what Yeah you are, But so what do you mean? Though?
That it weighed on what what were you contending with?
It's almost like, now, see, I don't want to go hyperbolic like people do online. That's obnoxious. I would say, Uh, Chris rock O J. Simpson, what is they like? Oh, they're black. They're both black guys.
Blame a black guy.
Okay, I love black people, but I hate never mind a different one. No, Chris rock O J. Simpson, We've talked about it in the past. Uh, he shouldn't have done that, but I understand. You know, my first thought is I gotta know more about the guy if he's like just some activist, which I thought when you were gonna when you were talking about oil and it's like it doesn't have to be. Now. I was thinking of what is that British activist group and it's just stop oil.
I thought it was stop oil now, and I was gonna be like, well, some people disagree with you, but that's I was just kidding. I was kidding they can I agree though they can't.
I think just stopping oil is not a solution, right, It's like it's a slogan. The real thing is to figure out, like, hey, when is the best time if ever to use these things? Because it makes sense, right, like combustion engines are great for a lot of things. It's just that we don't want to fuck the world up, right, so how do we manage it?
But yeah, I think.
That just stop oil they like they're extreme, you know, like they their actual stated goals are not in line with reality.
Yeah, sure, okay, all right, I just was the name reference. Now I forget what I was talking about.
Oh, but it's another It's like, but I think that's why I hate those names though, like defund the police, Like I hate that. I had to unpack that when it was a thing like a slogan where I had to be like, well, I think what people mean is that they really want to reform the police, but defund the police. It's like nobody with a brain wanted to defund the police. You know, that just doesn't make any sense.
But everybody who gave a shit when they had that argument, when they actually dug into it, was all about like, oh, well we need to have social workers go out on calls with police, or we need to have better training, and it's like, okay, well that all costs more. That all costs more money. You know, how do you defund them and get any of that?
The one to be fair. AOC specifically pointed down that people should not mansplain what she meant and said, I do mean taking money away from the police that I want.
Yeah yeah, Well, like I said, nobody with a brain. She just got that body fair enough. Damn that's an oh man, I got to send you. Someone threw a solid ai up of AOC and Laren Bobert, not topless bikinis, but it was still really really solid. You see knuckles, you see the moose knuckles.
You might see moose knuckles. I'm not sure that might be worth it? Yeah, might it might be? Well, I might look at it. I haven't decided yet. So the guy's name is what they so they finally found him today, Luigi Manicotti, Man, oh what is it? MANGIONI right, something like that. Yeah, I only know that because of Chuck Mangioni from south Park. King of the Hill. I don't know that guy from south Park, Chuck Mangie. Well he was a singer, he was a musician. Oh yeah, he
was the guy that would wear the stupid hat. Well there's real people that I only know from south Park, like Brian Boitano. Yep, that's what I was kind of mixing him up with. You're gonna know him if you say it. Hold on, look is Chuck Mani. You're gonna remember his character. Okay, you gotta share your screen waiting.
Okay, yeah, yeah, that is Captene Hunger for us. No King of the Hill, Okay, King of the Hill. I never really watched that. It wasn't much of him. No, yeah, I always thought it was for fucking you know, like po dunk trash, fucking farm people. But that and I've seen a couple episodes and I was like, oh no, no, no, no, this is on some like Native American shit too.
Yeah, sure, I think Blandrew hates Futurama really, but he likes the Simpsons. Yes, yeah, two different things. Well, I want to disagree. But then I tried to watch that disenchantment or something on Netflix. I don't know what that is. Yeah, exactly. It was like Matt Groening and all those other fucking Simpsons people were like, we could do this again, and they were like standing in a field holding a rod looking for lightning. Oh that's a shame. Yeah, anyway, fucking
this guy that killed this guy. So anyway more it's it's I have a right, yeah, yeah, because what's going on. I don't understand. I don't think this guy should have been shot and murdered. I think we should arrest this guy. And that's not how the rule of law goes. But when you push people far enough, if this guy isn't some like, if he's like some activist, I'll go, all right, he's crazy. Anyone who's gonna go murder someone over a point blah blah blah to me, you're out there, you're crazy,
little bit. I'll give you that one. Like crazy guy. If he's a guy who had an injury, his mother, you know, was in the hospital and they denied coverage and blah blah blah blah blah ah that it's not good that people break, but people break, you know, so I need to know, like where this guy. I don't even need to know where this guy was. I get he saw this person as a target. I'm not justifying this in any way whatsoever other than to say, you know, it's the holidays.
So so I think what and I yeah, let me know if I'm mischaracterizing this year statement at all.
So even though murder is wrong, this murder.
Is kind of like, well, it's kind of like a you get what you ask for type of thing, Like you had to have known you were fucking people over. It's only a matter of time before somebody snaps, right, like before somebody like your company has serviced maybe one hundred million people or fifteen million people. I think is it's just an insane amount of people, and you're known for being super shady fucking people over what is the word delaying so that people have to pay out a
pocket for urgent hair and stuff like that. It's like there's all these things where it's like, well you kind of not you kind of had it coming, but what did you expect is that kind of like pha?
Is that a fair h It's it again? I understand, by the way, And I started this off in my text to blame for about it, because that's why I really like voice. I was like, I need to know where I stand this because I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't like like that Taylor Lorenz lady tweeting out the pictures of the other CEO your professional writer she writes for, like some professional either magazine or
newspaper or something like that. That's that's encouraging it. It's almost like, remember, I think I references maybe even a couple of weeks ago, Remember when Augustus Gluke gets sucked into the thing and they're like, oh my god, you gotta help him, you gotta help a Gene Wilder goes help murder, please save him. It's almost like it's like, yeah, it sucks this guy's family had to die. It sucks he had to have to die to die. It sucks that this happened in this way, and that kid is
wrong and should be prosecuted and everything like that. But it's the same logic I use when a girl hangs out at her frat house, four nights in a row, fucking pussy hanging out and she's getting trashed and taking molly all night and then she get rapes. I sit there and I go, this is not right. But all of us saw it coming, you know. And maybe, but here's the thing. I'm sure someone warned her at some point, Hey, you can't be a softy pig or someone's gonna drop
a seed in you that you never saw coming. Problem. But I'm sure this guy's seen plenty of protests about you know, people in wheelchairs, or how about when you know, I know this is a government thing. This is entirely different, but I think it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in terms of that is what John Stewart fights for the nine to eleven. Yeah, for the ground zero workers, Like find it, Okay, find it. I'm sure a billion
dollars would cover it. And we sent how many billion to Israel and how many billion to hear and how many billion to hear? One billion dollars you take care of all the healthcare of all those people from nine to eleven? Find it? Yeah, So so go ahead, Yeah, with all that, I know I'm wrong. I just don't don't. I don't know that you're wrong. I think that I think that.
I don't think there is a right or wrong. I think you're just talking about your feelings and stuff. But I will say I'm noticing. Okay, So I'm going to make two separate points. One was Taylor Lorenz. I don't know who that is.
She's the one that docs the libs of TikTok girl. She's a lefty, yes, and she's very like she still wears masks out and stuff like that, and she's she's more less about the message, I think, and more about the image, I guess. Okay, so.
I don't know any of the details, but you said she posted a picture of another CEO and what did she say?
Words with it? Or let's see then more?
Go ahead, keep go ahead, good, bring it up first.
I want to see okay, hell rend oh, okay, Well, Vox is firing her. It seems like twenty three hours ago they are not renewing deal. Okay, So well, I still don't even want her to get fired. Truthfully, I'm gonna pull it up. Okay, go ahead.
The the thing I think you said was she was encouraging what copycats?
No just it just felt I guess callous coming from someone in the news that is, in a roundabout way doing that. Again, if someone did go out and kill the CEO of Blue Cross Blue Shield, I'm not going that's Tilla Lorenz's fault. But I think you can look at it and be like, you should have a higher responsibility than that. I still don't put the blame on you, but yeah, you should still have a higher responsibility than that. Sure, I don't know three hundred and twenty nine thousand followers. Uh,
I don't know if I'm gonna find it. She might have pulled it. Go ahead, sorry, So just.
And again like you're just voicing your feelings. This isn't about right or wrong. This is just something for.
You to chew on.
If you think that is encouraging, I implore you to look at the January sixth stuff again and think about if you think that is encouraging. But the second point about the CEO, and well, now we're okay, So I think what the silver lining I think you're kind of alluding to is like, look, this is bad, murder's bad,
but what did you expect to happen? And now, because this happened, maybe maybe maybe CEOs will do something, or there will be a legitimate discussion with politicians and CEOs and stuff, and there will be like real change in the healthcare industry. I think a lot of people are kind of afraid to just like say, like, oh, that's that's the good part of this, because I don't think that's actually even gonna happen, right. I think they'll probably just have a guy replace the dead dude and it'll
be business as usual. I think they'll they'll just move on, because, like you think the one murder is going to stop a trillion dollar a year industry, Like.
Come on, not the industry, but uh, I think they just got probably fifteen hundred x vets hired or vets not x vets, vets hired as private security. Like, I mean, did you see all the CEOs started scrubbing their about pages on on their own websites, you know, the normal Yeah, you normally have like the C suite you put who the executive is and blah blah blah blah blah blah, and they all started clearing them off.
That's uh so, so they're just going to keep their identities hidden?
Well, no, you'll have you can still dig into reports and stuff like that. But I mean that's a that's a reactionary thing. That is a pretty quick like uh sure, But I mean that does that say?
Does that tell you anything significant is going to happen with our healthcare?
Again, it really depends on how far that fear goes. You're right, that was one guy and they're gonna all beef up security, and if there's another one that somehow gets through security, then it becomes a trend. And a trend is what these people base their business on as far as insurance and this and that. You don't know, You never know. I mean, maybe no one wants the job. Then people step down from the job quicker, and maybe you have people who are less, maybe you get a
good person in there. I don't know.
You know, I saw that the dead guy had a private security detail with him in Manhattan.
Where were they when this dude got gunned down? I didn't see that, I believe you. I didn't. I didn't see that anywhere. I didn't yet. He had been.
Under threat I think from other people before and his his trip. I think he had had two armed security guards with him, and they just weren't with him. When he got shot.
There was a there was fun little conspiracy. Early on, it seemed fun because he was set to testify about something, some insider trading thing. And then you have a guy who, again at first glance, comes up with a silencer on his gun. The first report I read was it it looked like it jammed, and he cleared the jam, it looked like it misfired. Yeah, as of now I'm reading it's like a vet gun. I don't know what did it. No, it wasn't.
No, And there's a there's this rumor that it's this uh, this single bolt action silenced nine millimeter pistol. I don't remember who makes it, but it's like a super rare gun, and it's got a bolt cycling action, which is just unheard of for a pistol. So it's like you can tell from the video the way he clears his jam, he's pulling a slide back. And the way that you would cycle this gun is you would you would fire around, you would pull the bolt up and over, pull it
back to eject the round. You would have to crank it to be the next round into the barrel, push it forward to you know, load it into the barrel, lock the bolt in place, and then fire. And he got those rounds off so fast. He clearly like he couldn't have cycled it that fast. You can tell from the way he clears the action he's just pulling a slide.
I do think it's crazy that he had a silenced pistol right there in the street, Like it's wild that silencers are legal, right, don't you think that's a little fucking crazy.
Nothing about it was legal. New York's got some of the toughest gun law rights.
But I mean, how hard is it to just come to New York with your your legal weapon from somewhere else.
But then it's not legal? I agree with you. Oh no, I I I'm saying, just.
If abortion is legal in a different state because your state doesn't offer it and you can go there and get it, you can easily do that with guns, you know what I'm saying. It's like the the idea that this is a gun this is a pro gun argument, right, The idea of a state passing a lall that says no guns is not going to stop people from bringing guns and killing people, right, Like, that's that's stupid.
So it's it's it's just.
That the fact that this person had access to a silencer. I think, like, I can't think of a single fucking use for a silencer for any American. Yeah, they're cool. I'd love to go to a shooting range and play with one, But why why do we need those?
Yeah? Still to me, let me ask why does it make it worse? I don't even want to fight on that one because I don't even know that. I'm not I'm just.
Asking in in this case, it doesn't make the crime worse?
No, no, no, no, no, why does the Why does the silencer make the gun? I can understand, Okay, okay, I can understand, like like, hey, we want to get rid of fifty round you know, mags and fucking automatic I go, oh, yeah, because you could just mow people down with that. But is there is there a yeah? Well, I mean behind a silencer.
Yeah, I mean like, there's no logic that I can think of to have one. But I mean the reason that you would say, okay, this is this is too much is because you could silence weapons still make noise, right, but they slow down the bullet a lot. So you could do something like put a silencer on a weapon. Put a pillow over someone's head and fire a point blank, point blank range, and you would muffle nearly all the sound. It would probably sound like someone just slamming a door
if you were in an apartment building. That seems like a thing we probably shouldn't just let people have easily. There's no reason you need it for home defense. There's there's even in a in a wartime scenario. There's no reason to have a silencer. It is literally like a stealth, sneak exterminate type thing. There's no other reason for it.
Could you make an argument for something like hunting duck or some shit like that if you were hunting with a.
Because of course you shoot, you shoot duck with and you're supposed to be shooting. You're not supposed to hunt with silencers specifically because of other hunters. You're supposed to let your shots ring out to let other people know that you're there.
Sure, okay, okay, yeah that makes sense. Yeah, I'm just I'm trying to find some reason for it, because yeah, it's literally like it keeps quiet. Yeah.
No, there's no reason a normal person could ever need that. If you're a spy or something, and maybe you can get a permit tone a silencer, but we don't. You and me don't need them. And I'm not saying that the silencer aided in the commission of this crime. It probably helped a little, well.
This one specifically, even Yeah, I mean it took a pretention off them for sure. Well, but I don't know about like other like just if some guy wants to live out, you know, wherever in the country and he's got a handgun or whatever, he is a silencer. I'm just wondering, does it is there is.
There that the silencer probably didn't help all that much, honestly, Yeah, because the whole point of it is to slow down the bullet enough that it still breaks the skin and bone, but doesn't break the sound barrier. So you can't muffle the crack of the gunpowder. That's impossible because that gas escapes from the slide.
And that has not I saw I was reading someone said they used subsonic AMMO potentially.
That's yeah, So the silencer would just slow it down even more. But it's impossible to silence the gunpowder. It's literally impossible. So even if the it doesn't break the sound barrier, someone's still gonna be like, what is that?
Firecrackers? You know what is that?
Yeah, it's it probably helped a little. I'm not saying it was completely useless, but people heard it. Let's see, and there's a guy right there watching it.
Yeah. I think he was a security guard. But look, but you know what, uh huh first shot there he but look he kind of noticed, but it wasn't like it wasn't like a an M eight went off next soon, you know. Yeah, and then even the second one, he's like, oh.
Sure, shit, this gues go to a fucking James Bond gun.
And then calmly walks away. It annoys me. I was hoping he'd be more of a starter and less of an activist.
But just set himself on fire right there in the streets.
Three Palastine. I was hoping he was a guy who just had a medical thing that he got turned down on. Good looking dude too. I hope they put him on the cover of Rolling Stone too.
Yeah, dude, I hope they sent him to Ukraine to fight the.
That should be what happens.
Yeah, why don't we send our prisoners to fight the war in Ukraine?
Oh? Man? I like this quote by Tim Dillon. The fact that you're going to shoot a CEO in the head and you can't do it before you get your Starbucks is brilliant advertising for Starbucks. Nobody goes to Dunkin Donuts before they kill anyone. Dunkin Donuts is where you go after you've killed someone. That's true. Yeah, that's cute. Uh yeah, it's weird, all right. So how do you feel, like I said, principle feal wise, how do you feel about it?
I feel somewhat. I feel mostly apathetic, but I feel also.
Slight.
What is the word vicarious vindication? I like, I just I'm noticing a lot of just like because I care about like your thought process, right, I care about people's the way they get to their conclusions, because your conclusions, like they can change all the time. Right, But it's like, what are you thinking about? And I feel like I remember with the Trump assassination, when fucking Destiny was like a martyr for saying what.
Did he say?
He said, what do you expect when you go to a fucking gun nut rally or something you know, expect to get shot? It was something along those lines, but it was it was couched in, like, hey, I don't want anyone to die or whatever, and it was like a crucifixion, you know. And then I see like the same thing here where it's like, oh, we have a guy who probably didn't deserve to get shot killed any of that, you know, and probably the reason it happened. Like I'm willing to bet that this guy is not
a martyr. He's not somebody who had a loved one or a.
Either that was denied coverage or a daughter. Yeah.
Sorry, My bet is that he is somebody who wanted to kill, like who's like had it in their head like a school shooter wanted like I've been wanting to do it, you know, I just like I wanted to know what it feels felt, would feel like Field, Like, yeah, would it Field like? Because he is a school shooter and he's not smart, but so he he probably also had something like an Elliott Roger like a hero complex.
Doesn't have to be an in cell, but where it's like I'm I'm gonna do this for a nobler cause and you will remember me for what I've done and I will be you know, like a pariah, you know, like a I'm gonna kill baby Hitler.
I'll be a guy that killed a baby, but you don't know. I just serk you so much, exactly. Yeah.
So it's like I feel like it was somebody wanting to do a bad thing and searching for a justification or a reason and they found it, you know, and and the internet's reaction how people. And I'm not saying it's bad that we're having a discussion about the healthcare industry,
not at all. I'm just saying it's weird that in this case we have like open celebration from a lot of people on both sides of the spectrum, and we have like a an honest segment of the population who's like, well, maybe this will maybe this will actually do some good. Maybe it's there's there's a silver lining in this awful act, and it's that things will change again.
I don't think that's going to happen.
But it's just like I don't think that we should have seen a silver lining in Trump getting shot either. I'm just saying it's weird that that wasn't a gun controlled discussion, that was not a that that that was like it was just a fiasco, and then like you kind of brought up I I feel like it was in the news long enough, but you said they kind of dropped it.
But I've heard other people echo that sentiment.
It was like it was in the news for a couple of days and then it was gone and nobody fucking cared which one the Trump, the Trump, the Trump assassination. Yeah, it was and I felt like they talked about it enough. But I've heard you say and other people say, hey, nobody gave a shit about it after two days, you know, I did. I was really interested in that little tour.
It was. It was more it was more not that people weren't interested. Coverage maybe lessened more than it what it was. It was a big event. I mean, it was the first time a guy was shot since what Reagan and yeah, and in the head, and then what before that Kennedy was a Kennedy Well I guess, yeah, he gobby, but he wasn't president. But that was big too. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you know, in the middle of an election cycle, whatever, it doesn't it's.
Yeah, it's just it's just weird that again, I'm not speaking I'm just speaking to our society and the way that they get to their conclusions, and it's just troubling because it doesn't speak to like a balanced weighing of facts, you know, it doesn't speak to logical analysis.
It seems like a lot of emotional shit, which I get.
You know, shit shit seems bad sometimes, and well you get emotional.
The same, you know exactly. I'm not saying you are this person, but people who might say, like, oh, don't be emotional about it. You can't be emotional. You have to understand this guy went to go he killed all these people by denying him coverage, and this is just blah blah blah blah blah. I mean, it's I totally lost my point. It was something about how it's it's pretty much the same, however you justify it.
There's no justification for murder, you know. That's that's why, and that's why I'm kind of I'm staunchly sticking by my prediction here that nothing changes. The industry might get some extra security, they might take their names down, but they don't give a fuck. You think they're going to turn down trillions of dollars.
Well, but I mean, you know, like this guy made eleven million dollars a year. That's a ton of money. That's a ton of a lot that is nowhere near a billionaire billionaire top end thing. Eleven million dollars last year after taxes brings you down about five and a half retirement blah blah blah whatever. Plus most of that money's paid in shares, which you immediately have to pay a higher tax on if you sell it right away, and most of them you have to vest for like
three to five years regardless. What does it mean? You just sit on it you have you can't sell it like you have to let us hit. So here's the thing. You may get your stock at ten dollars a share, and between now and the period when you can sell it, you might watch it go up to ten thousand dollars a share. Oh I can't sell it, I'm not allowed to sell it drops and then it drops down to four dollars a share, and now five years later you
have forty percent of what your salary should have been. People, again, I'm not cheering for these guys who get, you know, ten million shares this quarter of something or I'm not like, oh, these guys should be. But I also don't think people know enough of how this stuff is paid and what a stock having a high stock value means for your mother, the teacher's pension or you know this over here, if
there weren't whatever. Again, I'm not not gonna stand here and be like, listen, this guy should have made more money. If nah, I get it, and I don't think anyone should be killed. But I'm not crying for this.
I'm not like guy should have been shooting one hundred dollars bills at him.
I'm not crying for this guy any more than I'm crying for some gang member who got shot in the head somewhere as he was indiscriminately firing off bullets. It's just it's another death. Sucks for the people around it. But I'm not like ooh or man.
Yeah, you know, Honestly, the sanest people to commit acts of violence are jihadists. Honestly, they are the sanest ones. They have a culture, a moral code, a religion, a social structure. They have everything enforcing reinforcing a particular belief, which is that if you kill the bad guys who are oppressing you, and you spread Islam, and you die in the process, you will be rewarded, you know, infinitely, in the afterlife. It makes sense why they do it.
Right if you believe that shit? Fuck sign me up, motherfucker.
Shit. Yeah that was who did Luisy Case did that joke about abortion and anti abortion people. And he's like, they think you're killing a kid. Like, he's like, I understand why they don't want you to do that. Yeah, they're so illogical. They don't want me to kill these kids. What the hell? Yeah? Yeah, I don't know. Now, let's transition real quick and we'll wrap on this all right.
Let me grow a cock real quick. Jay Z, what is this? I saw this? Like, there's rumors about jay Z. Did he do something bad? Is Beyonce about to be on the market?
Uh? And Beyonce is about to be in fucking Belize or somewhere where they can't extra dight her? What'd she do? I think? I don't know. I don't know. It don't look good. Let me pull it up, all right, dude.
I was just listening to Renaissance on the car ride home. Don't ruin this for me.
Oh yeah, let's see all right. Jay Z was accused of sexually assaulting Zee at a Diddy party. A girl that was how old? Oh my god? Are you asking me? Yeah? I guess yeah, oh, I.
Thought you were about to drop a headline on me eleven No.
Thirteen. Pretty cool.
Oh man, that's a nice setting. So wait a minute, when did this happen? Is this pre or post yance?
Oh? I think three? Two thousand?
Oh dude, that's like right on the cuss they know, right?
Was that Bonnie and Clyde? No, Bonnie and Clyde? Oh three? Yeah?
Then now they met up before that on Crazy in Love.
Oh wait, I don't know. I don't know enough about music to argue with you.
I think that's two thousand and one, two thousand. Fuck, it might even be ninety nine. Look up Crazy in Love. Okay, it's important. This is going to determine the scope of the investigation.
Crazy and Lovers released in two thousand and three. Okay, okay, okay, okay, Thank god he didn't know? Jay? Why you dick smell like a little girl? Jay? Why you dick got all this hymen on it? You got all this hymen on it?
I was gonna say these hymen chunks, but I spared you a little.
Hey, our friend Nick wasn't the story with Robin that she blew out her hymen by falling on a uh fence or something.
Yeah, like she fell off a horse or something. But I she probably just fucked our friend Paul.
Yeah, she's so gross and if you're listening to this, you're a fucking bitch too. Anyway, Yeah, she looks like a sandworm from Dune. Oh okay, I thought you were going with a beetlejuice one.
Oh, actually that's a more apt description because of her inner tooth, like like she had one of those mouths from Alien and like, yeah, yeah, the mouth comes out of the mouth and snaps and then goes back in.
So uh. Jay Z has been accused in civil court of yeah, raping a kid never never a great way of saying that. He released a statement hold on hold man.
One allegation doesn't mean shit, man. Michael Jackson beat like what fifty of them?
Uh, yeah he did, but he had a lot more money. Maybe. I don't know, dude, Beyonce and jay Z are a power. I don't know you think jay Z or you think Beyonce's paying off her husband's fucking raping a kid lawsuit? I do. I think she's a ride or die. I think it's like, well.
I didn't know about this when we got together.
But I'm here for the long haul and the holong the long haul. Yeah. I think also.
That remember a few years ago, maybe ten fifteen years ago at this point, Beyonce's sister Solange beat the shit out of jay Z in an elevator and Beyonce just stood there and.
Smell like, Himan, Yeah, why you got a little kid juices on his dick.
I think Beyonce will probably just deal with this her own way, you know, like she'll probably just cancel the DOJ investigation whatever whatever's going on on a legal level. Beyonce's like, I got it, I got it. Maybe they were go get me a switch from out in the field. Maybe they were banking on a Kamala win. Imagine if she walked in and she just issued a Hunter Biden pardon to all of Hollywood, like I mean, I mean, just one that or say what you want about Biden.
Weinstein's fucking record and everything is.
Say what you want about the Biden think, but the way it was written where it's like all of these years and anything done in that time or anything not found out that might have been done at that time, and be funny if commonly won and got in and started going like Diddy, lifetime pardon this person, lifetime pardon Bieber, You're gonna keep your mouth shut and we're gonna throw you in prison. Uh.
You know what even funnier if once that, once Kamala got in office, video dropped of Hunter killing six prostitutes in a crackfield rage in twenty seventeen.
Yeah. Uh, and it fit just perfectly into that. I don't think he was. I think he thought they were gonna win again and they would give him the pardon after or they would work with the Justice Department or whatever it was and get it back reduced to whatever, like time served or whatever bullshit. You know, we briefly touched on I don't we don't need to talk about it anymore. Like as a father, I totally get it.
And yeah, his other kids are dead, you know. Yeah, he wanted to put his last one in jail for fucking ten years. Yeah, he'd be like Andy Reid's kids. Andy Reid's kids, I think one is in jail. That's the head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs. Extremely successful head coach, one of the best of all time, makes a ton of money. I'm sure used to be the head coach of the Eagles for many years when you lived here as well.
I've probably seen him then because my grandpa liked the Eagles.
And one of his kids, I believe, got busted for selling heroin and he's in like real big boy prison. And then another one got easy charges because he was drunkenly driving his suv to the stadium and hit a car and it that made this little three year old girl brain dad or something else retarded and ship now and he got like probation or something. Oh my god, money, why does that work? I still I will never understand why.
I guess a better lawyer gets you out of things, which, by the way, not to tie it all back, but jay Z will have very good lawyers. I assume, no, he's gonna he's gonna get the singing lawyer from more money. Is it is having a more expensive lawyer because they can do more things like order expensive testing or delay things because of certain reasons or blah blah blah. I think a lot of it is.
Yeah, money is one thing, but I think it's also just like you can pay for an attorney with an attitude or reputation, one that is not afraid to waste time, like you said. So it's like if you have a pushover DA or something right, and you have a fucking just a shark of a defense attorney, you might have a defense attorney that can convince a prosecutor. Look, I will fucking eat you alive in a courtroom. I don't care what evidence you have. I will destroy you. Just
just give him a plea deal and we'll pay. We'll haven't pay his debt to society. We'll move on, or we can drag this out for two more years and I can drag you through the fucking mud, you know.
You know, then if that is true in that way, which sounds reasonable to me to an extent, I mean, that's not even on the the lawyers. That's on pussy DA's to me, I think there's probably pussy DA sure for sure. I mean, but I don't know that there's strong arm in all of them. I think sometimes it's probably about having the money to be able to stretch this over two years.
Yeah, you can look at It's probably has a lot to do with jurisdiction and area too, Like I'm willing to bet awful like shitty, you know, three thousand person counties in Georgia, where there's like there's forty towns spread out across four thousand square miles and you know that there's a sheriff for the whole county that I'm sure areas like that don't have great you know, prosecutors, investigators,
all sorts of shit. It's probably a lot easier in those areas, but you could always just look at like conviction rates or whatever. But I know, with like federal charges federal cases, if you get indicted for a federal crime, it's like a ninety five percent conviction.
Rate, you're probably fucked.
So when you don't get convicted for a federal crime, that's when it's interesting to look at like, oh why not, you know, But for little local jurisdictions and states and stuff, it's way harder to figure out, like are they getting paid, did they suck at their job?
What's going on? Are the Jews in control of this one? Sure? Yeah? Yeah?
Was there a hurricane that day when he was supposed to be sentenced?
What do you think about Daniel Penny? Daniel Penny is that the guy who killed the Michael Jackson? Yeah?
Yeah, I don't remember the details of that case, but was that a murder or no, I can't remember.
They charged it as like a man's it was prison time, however they charged it. I watched the video. When we watched the video where we like, oh my god, or was it like you only really saw the end. And since then, I've seen bodycam footage of the cops talking to witnesses that day, and the one thing that really convinced me, this old black lady was like that guy came on the train screaming, acting nuts, he got in a girl's face, and that boy, he just he put him to do. He held on to him to stop
him so we would stop freaking out. Blah blah blah blah. And then the lady you could tell she needed to move on. She had gotten off the train. And then one cops like, can you tell that to my sergeant who's gonna be here, And the lady's like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll wait around, I'll wait around. She really wanted it to be known, and she like said every time, like that man saved us. We didn't know what was gonna happen, that he was freaking out in there, blah blah blah.
That I mean, I had already had my view, but that just from the details, I knew that was to me like, oh, it might have been just a bad place, bad time. I don't know. I should have just.
Pulled out his silence gun and shot that guy.
How did Vinnie? How did Andrew's brother used to do gun sounds in high school? Yeah? Right? And then lasers? Do you remember lasers?
I think he said, zap, zap zap.
What the fuck?
Did he ever shoot a laser before?
I don't think he ever shot a laser before? No, not when he was hunting frogs in the suburbs.
Yeah, I don't think he did either, because I think lasers make more of a.
Do you remember do you remember that time he was sitting at their kitchen table? Maybe not, Maybe you weren't. There was a making up a day. No, I mean, might as well have tried to sell it to me for a nickel. He was one of those kids, like I found these rocks outside. Do you want to give me pennies for him? I'm like, dude, I'm thinking about pussy. I don't want to buy. Okay, I'll take that one and maybe a couple of those. I got some pennies to spare. He's retiring next year. He is all those
rock sales. Yeah, no, he's big and crypto, yeah, all those rock sales. Yeah. I'm gonna take this penny you gave me, and by digital currency, all right, Vinny. So he was sitting at the kitchen table with a bucket of frogs, just cutting their legs off, like Jesus Christ. For what he was gonna eat them? What the fuck?
What was he gonna do with the rest of the frogs.
Put them back outside, let him hop home, crochet little fucking fleshlights out of them. Yeah, I don't know. It was so gross. That's a weird thing. Yeah, I don't like being around slimy thing.
Wait a minute, you're you're you're telling me he caught frogs out in the wild and then he.
Ate those frogs when we were kids.
Yeah, Oh my god, dude, No wonder his fucking hair is falling out. Jesus Christ. He probably just ate raw sewage every day. He retarded himself, well, I mean he yeah, he gave himself like that, uh that quarterback ability. He can probably be a fucking total idiot, but he can just see how all the crypto lines fall down the matrix and and how everything's gonna play out over the long haul in the stock market and everything.
I have ten million pay pay coins right now, pay pay coins, yeah, Peppy whatever the frog?
I he he has a currency now?
Yeah? Yeah yeah? Okay, what is the value? What it's what? What do you get out of that? Ten million coins? Cost me like two hundred dollars?
Okay, but what are you going to do with those coins?
Man?
Taking the Dave and busters.
I no, you know, because they're not real coins. So just they're electrical coins. Okay, so you can use them to play like Pokemon or roadblocks. Maybe you could roadblocks, that's possible, but uh no, no, no, it's just more of they're a coin with a racist frog.
Go on it. Oh so it's like those NFTs where you can hang them up in your digital library. It's not even that walk around there with your VR headset and look at all your monkey paintings. No, this one has a green background, this one has an orange background. No, this one has yellow sunglasses, this one has pink sunglasses.
No, it's not even that. You can't even do that. It's just a coin. You can't look at the coin, not really. No, it's just a number.
Is it like a cool do they get you a cool like unique number? He's like, you know how you buy a vinyl and it's like, this is number sixty one hundred and thirty two out of one hundred thousand.
No, it's randomly generated.
What the fuck, dude. It's not even in a cool sequence. So I can be like I'm the thirty seventh one to get this fucking frog. No, oh my god, dude, this is not a good investment.
I feel like you can't even have fun with it. We're gonna wrap this one up. Uh no, fan questions actually fuck them? Then?
Yeah, I never even liked them. I wasn't gonna answer any questions anyway.
I got to think up something fun to do for next time. I'm a private guy. I haven't even thought of it. Oh, I had a great idea. What was it. I was going to tell you and the fans what I thought of them. Oh that's good. Yeah, all right, we're gonna go to the Patreon. Oh, I guess I should announce what I'm going to do. I'm going to take all of the old episodes one to two fifty and I'm gonna reload them on the feed. The current your Worst Friend feed. No commercials except maybe at the end,
so listen through those. Let that auto play. No commercials. But I'm going to do one episode today. So starting January first, every night at midnight, Episode one, next day episode two, Episode three, and on day two hundred and fifty whatever that is is of the year. What is the two hundred and fiftieth day of the year. It's number two fifty, just by default day. Oh, I think it's a Tuesday. It is, that's what you meant, September seventh.
So I will find a way to space it out four days so we can wrap the show up again next year on nine to eleven. I think that's weir.
Yeah, we could actually just spend the whole year doing a nine to eleven show.
I don't know what you're talking about, Like, we just spend all year recording. We're not recording anymore. No, no, we'll spend all year. You just spend the year doing the show. If we were going to do that.
No, no, no, it's a nine to eleven show. We're just doing one episode, but we spend the year doing it. So it's like how many minutes are in a year?
Say, okay, this is like a fucking Rent song. H Well, how about we do this. How about we just meet once a day for one minute a day and record thirty seconds of audio every day and it's all I like. I like how we have to have fifteen second buffers on either side too. We'll meet for a minute and we'll record thirty seconds of audio. Yeah, so we can get the audio set up. And there's five hundred Oh I remember this from the song Rent. There's five hundred
twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes in a year. Oh. I thought that was their t cell count for your worst friend I met. I'm not impressed with our audience. Bye, thanks for listening. We'll see you next week. You know I want us all a quor nothing. Bro.
I'm really gonna miss you guys when the show's over.