Ep. 246 What's up, Thot?

Let me finish. This is the first time I committed a hate crime.

Maybe they'll jerk my dick off for it, you know, like something like that.

Yeah, probably we've disgusted. I'm associate Bath, you're present my shit?

What any trash shit? You're a worst friend. Do you want to know why you're all fucked up? Just look at the fucking problems you hang around with.

You're listening to your worst friend with Shanean Matt episode two forty six. I'm bringing that back. Uh, don't go anywhere. The website's going to be down, but uh don't follow us anywhere because that's gonna be down. But go back and listen to old stuff. And uh yeah, I guess we should talk about it. Uh just real quick and just whatever. We are gonna wrap this show up in five more episodes. This one's two forty six, and we're gonna have it done at two fifty mm. I think

Something's unfair.

Hey, hey, hey, don't push my buttons. Okay, don't push my buttons on that one. Okay. I don't know. I don't think it's unfair. I think it's just I no, no, it's just time. You know, there's no hard feelings. I've been Uh, I've been crying all week, which is more than I did for my brother and my dad and the cat. Those were like one offs and then a couple of days later you get the aftershock and you're

Well eventually, yeah, it leaves the house, it goes to college, a nice five year el.

Right, this is how old it is. It's five years old. Oh it's only five I thought, Oh, this is how long we've been doing. The show's five years old? Well, what's that podcast years? It's enough to be brushed in a tractor trailer accident.

That's yead?

Is it?

Like? Are aren't podcast years? Kind of a kid? Dog ears.

Yeah, no, they're not really trust trust me. Put out one episode and let it count for more than one episode and they'll let you know, use that excuse No, it's podcast years. You don't understand that they only have to put out one every seven years, and we're good.

Okay, I'll try that.

By the way, if you in episode two point fifty decide to announce you go, I want to take my time here to promote my new podcast. I'll kill your family. I'll drive to your house and I'll burn your house down in the middle of the night.

Okay, well, at least you'll come out and visit.

Finally, okay, Arry good. We recorded this episode a little bit differently than we do other episodes because Shane wanted to try something new and to see how it feels. How do let's let's do a pre episode assessment. Let's do a pose no, no, because this is going to go before the episode. Okay, so let's do a pre episode assessment. How do you feel today's episode went?

Oh? Okay? You mean like, how did how did it go for me? Or like is it a good episode? And should you listen to it? Because obviously you know the second one? Yeah?

Sure, it's not how did you feel just jumping into it more, because that was that was one of the things you said, like you prefer just more of a natural conversation.

Well, i'll tell you. I'll tell you what man it I did. I'll say it felt a lot like every recording. But the part I liked the best was the part where we just jumped in at the beginning and we were talking about RFK. I think you probably took me as being like stand offish or confrontational, which that's fine, that we moved on or whatever. But my favorite part was like digging in on specific examples and like trying to unpack the thing. So I liked that part best.

No, that's fair. I don't even mean but that would be more to the quality the episode. It was more how you felt. I was just trying to gauge that because it was a different method we were trying.

You know, it felt pretty good with it, It felt felt when we first started, I was wondering Okay, are we actually doing the episode? But it became pretty apparent within like ten seconds that we were.

Yeah, no, I told you. I was like, hey, fuck it, we gotta.

And I didn't want to ask because then I would look so fucking stupid because it's like, he doesn't know he's on a show right now?

Are we on a show? Are you recording me? All right, well, let's see what they think of this. We talk about current events stuff, and then we just kind of freeball it. You would see what a phone conversation would be like with a lot less cursing.

Free bawling.

It's the name of the episode.

What up thought?

I'm watching this video right now. Oh I have to set up a secondary recorder, but this is still recording, so this is good. I'm watching this video right now of this black dude cooking with beef tallow and they're saying much have you ever looked into seed oils and shit? Are they actually bad or what's the deal with that shit?

I don't think they're bad. I think I I was just listening to somebody joke make a joke about beef tallow. That's funny that you said that. Okay, yeah, that's why. That's why it because RFK, that's why you're looking into it.

Well, I've made beef tallow before. I've tried to make it before, because is that like bones? It's no, it's the fat broken down into basically like a like an oil that you can use to cook with and this and that. They actually McDonald's used to fry all their ship in beef tallow.

That's why for a long time.

Their fries weren't vegan or whatever.

Right, that's why they sucked. Now, I don't you know.

I've never fucking liked McDonald's fries anyway.

When they're fresh and when they got a lot of salt.

We got fucking Greek food the other day, which and they got rid of. Are franchise Greek food placed the Simple Greek? You ever been there?

I never heard of it. I didn't know there were franchise Greek establishments.

I thought, you want to frame what Frank Frank franchise Frank Frank guys. Yeah, I didn't know there were Frank guys. Yeah, it's called the Simple Greek and the rules. You go in, you get protein. You're like, do you want a peter? Do you want a bowl? I want a Peter, dumb bitch, What do you think?

Yeah, I want the cum sauce. I like the cum sauce where it's cucumbers in it.

Yeah, that's good as ship. That's good as ship. So we got Greek food the other day and I was so fucking annoyed because I saw these little sodas and I was like, ooh, a little Greek sodas because this place is real fucking.

What does a Greek soda consist of? What is it? Just sweat? It's carbonated sweat.

It'll be fucking finished, right. Here's what it is. It's fucking white label soda that they printed the label of Greek restaurant on the outside of it. It's made in Hackensack, New Jersey, or hackings Town or something New Jersey. They just fucking pump it out and I paid like four dollars each.

For So what what is it? Is? It?

Just so it's a soda? It is It is basically like one step below r C Cola and they put it in a bottle and slap a, this is for Greek stuff label on the outside.

RCA's better than pepsi.

Yeah, everything, dog shit's better than pepsi.

Yeah, yeah, calms better than pepsi.

What's a decent pepsi max is?

All right? Though? Like the hell is that?

It's their coke zero?

Oh god? Yeah, anybody who drinks that is is like one step above child sex predator to me, Michael, in my eyes.

They were at one point traffic and now have become the traffickers themselves.

Right, Yeah, they just graduated to like what is called in Florida. Oh oh that or what's it called when you have like, uh, like a stable head. Yeah, that's it's like the head of the stable you know, of your hose, your child house.

Okay, all right, you mean your child hose.

That's that's just a bad statement to make. Yeah, that's a bad one. It's unfortunate for everyone, especially the hose is their children.

I think I have beef tallow No, I have bone broth in the basement in a pot covered Why in the fridge? Like it's in a fridge right.

Uh huh.

But I was supposed to bottle it and I think that was about a month ago.

Or were you gonna take it on a bike ride with you?

You never heard of like bone broth for health. I'm pointing out all these things. I'm trying to be goddamn healthier and all you're doing is calling me dumb and tell me to eat Twizzlers. I should get twizzlers though, right.

Uh yeah, twizzlers recy cups. Yeah, get them now before they, you know, RFK pulls them off the market.

Oh here, hold on, your audio was dropping a little bit. That's okay. I uh. I've seen some like Center of the Road people come out and support to him, it seems like not so much. They all were like, yeah, he said some goofy shit, but the guardrails should be okay, and it would be good to do more testing on things, just in general on things.

Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that statement in a vacuum. But the problem is RFK has a not even a history like currently, I mean, it's still like actively pushing vaccine misinformation. He is willfully ignorant of certain things when asked by certain people, but then when asked by other people, magically he knows about them. He's a he's a shyster,

I feel that way though, and I'm not insincere about it.

Oh okay, well then I then okay. Then the other option is those people just haven't haven't done the research, because I mean, it's just everything RFK is pushing is is And I'm not going to say everything because I haven't checked every single thing he said. But it's like when it comes to COVID, when it comes to vaccines, when it comes to a lot of stuff about food in general, so like GMOs. I know he's pushed uff

Well it does, it does because he's not gonna is the term unilaterally make decisions on his own? Is that what that is? Now?

I think that's what I think. Yeah, like I've.

Heard that expression he won't make you vil.

Yeah, make them all by himself. Yeah.

Sure, I don't know what that word means, but I do know that I don't think he's gonna, like, you know, tomorrow, turn the floor eyed off in the water and it's going.

No, no, no, that's it. That's not the problem. It's not the problem that he can make single decisions. The problem is that it's like when Trump made two different climate change deniers head of the EPA. Right. The problem is not that he's going to come in and then just like with the flip of a switch, he shuts down all climate funding, every research project, every study is canceled, every climate piece of legislation. No, like, that's not how

You know.

That's weird. That's a problem. That should be a red flag. Have you ever read any of his books?

No, I haven't. I haven't either. I've only ever seen clips of them, though, But that's I mean, that goes to my point. Maybe it's it's clips, you know, that's all we've ever seen is short form or type stuff. I don't know. I got to go back and listen to Rogan maybe because he probably did three hours and that's at least better than a short clip, you know.

Yeah, it's still it's still I think you're missing the point.

I'm like, I'm you're missing the point. I just disagree with you on it. I still I do think there are guardrails in place. I understand the decisions, but I think stuff like that still has to go through Congress or has to get approved, and then if a governor of some state, like if Newsom wants to take it to the Supreme Court, this decision that whatever, then it would go all the way up there and it would be judged by them if they decided to make I mean maybe that we're trying to fight with you on

That, But I mean I'm right, but okay, So so that what you're suggesting then is the guardrails would be in place so that we could just stall progress for however, manys, this person has power or their position or or whatever that the billet is, you know, But like that's the point is like there's no there's nothing productive coming, you know, Like I don't. I don't see how you get any Like so you're you're mentioning these guardrails and stuff, and

No, just if something is crazy or seen as illegal or whatever, it'll go through the legal process until it becomes good or bad. You know, there were probably vaccine skeptics when they wanted to originally create a schedule or whatever and it you know, some people said no, I don't want it, and eventually with time people go all right, well this is required, we need this, we'll try this, we'll put this in place.

You know.

I just think I think no one has like full authority to just snap their fingers, except for like we talked about with presidents with war, like you know, or what is it called a foreign conflict or something they can do thirty days.

Yeah, the president can declare war without congressional approval and they have thirty days to get that approval or else they are committing a war crime.

Okay, Yeah, I mean that's just I mean that's my view on it. I don't know, we don't know how to work.

And yeah, just because they've put someone positive or you know, whatever the department is, if they put someone in there, I just I don't know how much authority they really have.

I think it's more of an overseer type thing. And well that's the thing.

Is like, yeah, you're just like speculating, right, So it's like we all are we haven't seen it, right, Yeah, But I mean like, yeah, that's That's kind of the problem though, is like I have knowledge of Robert F.

Kennedy at least in a certain context when it comes to scientific claims, right, and he's being appointed to a scientific position. What is health and human safety or something like that, something like that. Yeah, Yeah, it's like that that that that should be a red flag. So it's like, I see your point as being a bad one. Like I see that as like, oh, Congress, or there's guardrails, or like I see all that as as as like as just kind of like needlessly reckless, you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, But wouldn't you have maybe said something to alleviate the concerns about people when Biden put a trans person as the same position, you know, some people may be like, oh, they're mentally unstated, they don't know, and at the end you would go, yeah, but they're not putting in a thing that all kids should be transitioned.

It's I don't know, did they within the guard did the trans person have a track rereck saying anti scientific things?

They have a track record of not knowing that their dick is their.

Own, Okay, that is, you know when they look at it and they go someone's got something here and they don't know whose it is, So I would only that's I would only again, I would have said the same thing to anyone as I'm starting to learn this process more of like nominating people and confirming people and this and that because they're the Internet's covering it like it's a fucking all star game.

Uh yeah. It just seems like if if if Biden had appointed Fauci to this position, like let's say Kamala won the election and then she appointed Fauci to this position, I feel like it would be a huge fucking deal. On the other side, Oh, this guy, he's a liar. He's and it's like, dude, anything that Fauci has said pales in comparison to the lies that Robert F. Kennedy has said. And that's that's the problem, right, Like there's like a huge disparity between how people view an actual

I deny science, or when you do something it's been recrafted so many times that it sounds biblical. Now it's like deny me, you deny science. But it was along those lines, like he was basically saying, like, I know what I got in front of me, all the you know, all my research. When you're doing you're denying the research.

So he says a couple of things that, yeah, like they don't sound good, but he never like, I like, he was wrong a few times, but he never told any lies. He never had any like ill entens that I can see. But then you have RFK who it is like on record lying still to this day about what is it, philinimide, the COVID vaccine, aids, all these different things, and you think malicious though, or it's either malicious or it's it's a complete lack of basis in reality. So he's crazy. He's a crazy person.

I'm not being shitty. Someone pointed out, I've been saying, uh, I'm not trying to be cunty a lot lately because I'm just you know, with politics, it's always I know, I don't want to get nooid screaming that, but.

I'm not yea. I'm not screaming. I'm just I know you're not.

I'm just saying, you know that I don't want to do that. But uh yeah, oh I never understand. Okay, So if somebody does have malicious intent, if they did not saying he says this, but you you're saying there's a chance that could be it, or you said nefarious. Did you say, I don't know, you use somewhere maybe right.

Yeah, there's some bad guy.

Shit, what's the goal of that? And I'm not being shitty, I am like, what is the end goal of that?

Well, it just depends. It depends on what he thinks he can get out of it. So I'll just use an example. There was the woman I forget her name, that woman, I think I mentioned her on the show. She died of AIDS in like the early two thousands. She was on the FOO Fighters website. She had AIDS, but she was also an AIDS denier, and then she didn't take any medicine. She gave birth to a baby, gave the baby AIDS, didn't give the baby in any medicine.

Totally get that. What is the endgame? What could it be? So it could be money, Yeah, it could be money, could be you'd have to find him. He'd have to figure out connection. But okay, so here legacy. Legacy is one thing for sure, fame. He doesn't need uh money. I don't believe he needs. I would have to look up his net worth. But you know he's not a I don't know. I don't know how. Let me ask you, because I watched a financial thing all day, how do you make money off of that? Off of vaccine denial?

I really don't know. I mean, that's not my area of expertise. I assume probably by pushing supplements or some other holistic thing that's not a vaccine. But let me also say that these are very simple explanations, right, and people are very seldom that simple. So it's probably a combination of that. He's crazy and malicious. So a lot of times people will do bad things, even if they know they're bad, because they think it's better in the end.

Uh So then so then you wouldn't be But then that's not malicious. That's well, it's not malicious but utilitarian or something or.

Yeah it's but it's still a bad engagement with science, right.

So it's bad. It's just malicious, I think is like like an intent to hurt someone. Right, I would say, well, I'm not saying to hurt malicious trying to clarify it, I'm.

Saying malicious is an intent to either win, push an agenda. Malicious with an intent an intent to to have your viewpoint be the one that is prevailing, right, like that Trump's the other one.

Okay, Yeah, maybe I mean we're just gonna have to see how it rolls out.

I mean yeah, I mean, oh, so I can go wait outside of a fucking rally.

Three weeks on like a fucking Nixon guy. This guy loves vaccine so much He's gonna wait outside Butler, Pennsylvania until because he knows there's sloped roofs there, until Kennedy does a h that.

It had the slightest slope I've ever seen. It was like two degrees.

Hey, what is that? Is it that the person? If it's sloped up towards you, like, if you're looking like that, I can kind of peek over the top.

What do you mean you would see me?

Why would a slope rope roof matter? I'm just thinking Phoenix prob No, no, no, no no. They said they couldn't see the guy because he was on a sloped roof.

I believe now.

My idea is if it sloped towards you, like, look at my screen right and I'm here, I'm laying down, I'm setting up, I'm doing whatever, and you can't see me until I come over the top of the slope. You see what I mean?

I could see that, but I thought it was sloped down. That's how I remember it. In the picture.

Maybe I'm wrong, Yeah, I just I don't know. I don't know why. I mean, it would be even more fucking ridiculous if uh well, yeah, that whole thing was bring it down? Was was the reason?

You know?

Well, they didn't do a good job that day. I don't know if you remember that.

I think they did a fine job. There was a Mexican lady who couldn't put her gun away. There was a congressional hearings afterwards where the woman was like, I don't know why he got shot at, but can I please not be fired?

Well, how would she know why he got shot at? That's like is she a mind reader? But yeah, fire?

We had Greek food the other day. I never finished that. I got the point of it. Of shitty cheap stuff anyway, I miss Greek food having it regularly. I want to buy one of those things. I can't justify it, one of those little like heaters where you can make your own cabat whatever. Spinning things.

Oh yeah, the thing for the shwarma.

Why are you wearing a dress shirt?

It's not it's a flannel, oh is it?

Oh?

I couldn't see the pattern.

And I got this bleachy shirt under.

It is that actual? Did you bleach it on purpose?

Or no? I bought it from a band?

Okay, good in New York. Uh, you bought it in New York or in New York band?

No, from a band in New York. I bought it on the internet. Shout out to Sabella in New York.

Chef New York. Interesting. I don't know else I got some stuff, but oh yeah, let's try this.

Ready.

What you do this weekend?

Oh boy? What did I do?

As insignificant as it might seem.

Yeah, I'm thinking. Okay, so I watched two movies by myself. I watched Alien Romulus Cool and The Bee Keeper.

Jason Statham.

Yes, Jason Stadtham.

How is that?

It's the second time I've seen that movie. It's like, one of my biggest s gripes about movies nowadays is they're all too long. If you're over ninety one minutes, it's like you need to cut twenty minutes. You know. I just don't have the attention span for long movies anymore, unless they're great movies. But like a Jason Statham popcorn flick, doesn't need to be more than ninety one minutes. As the longest it needs to be. This movie was like one hundred and twenty eight minutes. That's too long.

You gotta go for like the tent Poles because all of those movies are just copy and paste of like Transporter.

Transporter sucks because they don't say the F word.

Well, but my point is just that's the type of movie it is, right, Yeah, let me tell you about a different type of fucking movie that I'm gonna get gen into that We've talked about a million times. Porn no no, no, bestiality, porn, nor boy movie, someone hurt my family and I got We've talked about it a million times. This week, I'm going to show Jen law Abiding Citizen.

Which that's a good one. I watched that a few months ago.

Yeah, those movies, that's how I picture the Beekeeper, like just kind of a like a dumb action y kind of shoot him up and yeah shit like that.

Yeah, yeah, it's it's very much like that, but law Abiding Citizen. So I would say Beekeeper is the closest you can get to modern day Commando. Okay, all right,

I'm gonna be taking her home now. Oh Jesus Christ. Is that the ending? It's the director's guy.

Yeah, that's there's there's an extra minute. That's the ninety second minute of Commando I saw.

By the way, there is something we've talked about those like pedophile hunters before. I don't like the way they do it necessarily, but I'm also not crying for some pedophile, so it's not I might be like, hey, guys, that's not good. Remember Willy Wonko's like help murder, save this child? Help?

Oh yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

The very first one. Yeah, that's how I feel about it. When it's like, no, don't petos No sure, yeah. Guy who wrote Sweet Home Alabama just got busted trying to meet up with a fifteen year old boy. Do you remember that movie I never saw spoon Yeah, yeah, yeah, I just reference it is all I was trying to do, Yes, yeah, trying to meet up with it is. I'm gonna ask a controversial question here is Hollywood full of pedophiles.

I think the world is full of pedophiles.

I think did we talk about this last week or is that off air where it was like you said, if it's potentially ten percent of one percent something like that, it was it?

Oh, I think it's probably. I think it's probably like, yeah, at least ten percent of the population or more is a pedophile. Oh god, but yeah, we did that on the show. I just did like some back of the envelope calculus, just like, it doesn't make sense to assume it's any smaller, just because there's so many pedophiles already,

Can I think, guess what you're gonna say? Sure, I swear this is my.

First time, right, well yeah they always say that, yeah, but no, so here here's the shocking part. So yeah, they always say it's the first time. But if a pedophile is in the act, there's a good chance, just given the statistics, that it is somewhere between his one hundredth and one hundred and fiftieth offense against a child.

That that's I knew where you were going with that, because they always I swear I've never done anything like this before. Well he never got caught doing anything like this before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you may have done something like this before. It's or even the minor shit, I know, not that it's minor, but like you know, maybe they're not full on whatever in a kid, but they're fucking cuching a kid or being weird or creepy with them. You fuck kids up with that. I don't even like talking the kids.

I don't like.

Yeah, I know, I like kids a lot. Stop pause, I like kids a lot, but I'm scared it's gonna be looked at as fucking weird. Guys can't be friendly to kids because everyone's like he's trying to put his dick inside it and bring my kid's ribs.

Oh wow, you got a big dick.

No, no, I don't, there's small ribs. It's a midget baby.

Oh man, how I thought midget babies were normal sized until like two, and then it's like it's a little small.

Uh you got me. I went to school for midget baby fucking pulling out of pussy and uh I must have not studied well enough. I don't know. Maybe they're the same fucking size.

I can't tell. No, maybe they're just like chihuahua humans.

I don't look at fucking babies. I said that already.

Did you know that if you have Down syndrome know that? Uh?

Sorry?

Good?

Did? I always thought down syndrome was just like you look funny and you can't really do well in high demand jobs and atmospheres, you know, and you're really happy and yeah, blissfully. So actually you just had this blissful happiness. I always thought it was kind of just like, eh, if you get down syndrome, you like, it's not the worst thing.

But then I found out, Oh, it actually is, because like you're declaring, you're declaring it as the worst thing.

It's pretty bad. So it's like, so it's a problem with your chromosomes, right, So it's like it's not just like, oh, he looks a little funny and he's really sweet, No, dude, like every like, I think fifty percent of people with

Oh that's a shame, because for Christmas, I ask for a headship like a thumb. I'm not going to be getting it this year.

Yeah. For Christmas, I asked to not understand my my stock portfolio and what I always thought they weren't good stock portfolio. Yeah, dude, you told me to invest in stocks. Oh yeah, I have a whole portfolio of them now. I like. They're in this like this nice leather bound binder and I flipped through them. It's like stock one, Stock two, Stock three. It's a really nice portfolio I've got.

They used to print like physical stock certificates and they were so fucking cool. And I tried to buy a stock just so I could get the certificate as it was going bankrupt. And then they got an offer and I made like six times of my money and I was fucking hooked.

Oh so that's what got you into the stocks in the first place.

Yeah, I bought Bear Sterns, which was the first big crash in two thousand and eight. It was like a one hundred and fifty dollars stock and it went down to two dollars, and I was like, oh shit, I'm a by like fifty dollars worth of shares and it's gonna be so cool. And I'll get the receipt, I'll get the slips and I'll be like, look at that Bear Stern's pretty cool. And then JP Morgan's like, we'll

Yeah, it's kind of like a gambling No, you can.

You can do research on stuff. There are people who really know how to research how things are gonna do. There is a sense of gambling, but generally it's a lot safer because in roulette, if you put it on black and red hits, you lose your money instantly. For McDonald's to have to go to zero, you'd have to find out like, oh no, they've been making their burgers out of ship it for fifty years.

Surprise. Well, no, I mean more in the sense of, like for plebs like you and I like you, you got the fifty dollars or whatever, and then you made it into twelve dollars, and then you're like, oh, that's so much money. I'm hooked, dude. That's like when you go to the casino and you see like, oh my god, there's a dragon on that glowing machine and then you

Yesterday, I was at the grocery store and I was walking out and I sell the lottery machine. You know they have those like scratch tickets, but then the regular ones too, and it said available credits ten dollars an hour. Oh shit, free motherfucker.

Yeah.

So I looked around, But what do I do. I don't want to make it seem like I'm just fucking Oh and just in case some old man walks up to me and goes, I had money in there, where'd you go?

Fuck her?

Yeah? To fucking bay. I just scream at some old man in shop, right, too fucking bad.

You shouldn't have left it alone. Rules is the same for kids. You leave it it's mine, move your feet, lose your seat, cocksucker.

So there were ten dollars in there, and I like quickly pulled out ten of my own dollars and put them in the machine because I was like, uh, I was like, I'll get twenty dollars worth of tickets for ten dollars.

We lost money.

You know, I haven't lost money because I took them home and scratched them and GEN won ten dollars, so I break even. Oh my god, dad, I got these tickets. I got a power ball and a Mega Ball. So if you fucking if I hit, you're gonna be so sad.

Why I don't think I would be happy for you?

No, because if I want all that money, I'd want to like invest in you.

So I would be happy because I would be invested in What does that mean? Invest in me? Does that mean? Does that make me like a sportsperson?

Pay you for creative ventures? I would put all my friends on the payroll. Yeah, thing, if I hit it big in a certain way.

You take the Rihanna approach.

Why is that what she does? I was thinking of EMC hammer approach. She's had her same to like, bring your loser friends along. Yeah, the Vanilla Ice approach. Yeah, no, Vanilla Ice is fine. He builds alses. MC hammer is a fucking loser now right.

I don't know. I haven't heard. I thought he dropped the MC and he now he's just Hammer Cool.

That'll fix it. Yeah, well that'll solve it.

It worked for his cock man.

Hey, going back to old staples. Uh, you talked about retards earlier. Just a second ago, there's a woman on fucking Instagram that keeps popping up. My algorithm is all freaks, by the way, He's all, it's it's great, but it's not great. It's legitimately all freaks, people with facial deformities, or.

Like just guys who kind of tuck like this and they're like, huh, I took a shit today and it was really good that I enjoyed that the lot.

I'm not exaggerating. That's close. But there was a woman and the Instagram was run by her kid, like a teenage kid or maybe in his twenties, probably in his early twenties. Wait, okay, there's a woman and there's a woman and her son. Okay, how old is the woman whatever? Whatever? A twenty two year old kid or something would happen so like in her forties. Well you didn't hear the big spin on the mother. She's fully retarded. Oh no, who was her kid? No?

How does that happen?

See, I understand that more than the guy going. I don't even know she was retarded. Man, I'm sorry, I go to pregnant.

Does she get kicked in the head lake later in life?

I don't know. Are you even allowed? I don't want to broach this what they did? And I am sam I guess as far as Gump too.

Huh yeah. And that was like I think what it is is if you're a man fucking a retard girl, that's a crime. But a woman fucking a retard man, that is like an act of charity to find it. Oh okay, that deserves a presidential Medal of Freedom.

I know we're not jumping back and forth, and but I have a video. It's a making and so it's sorry about that cut out. It was a it's a math question. I'm hoping you.

Could answer it for me. Okay, probably I know every man.

Seven black guys that finish inside me at the truck stop, and I have four black guys that finish on my face behind the dumpster at Burger King. How many hard ares just made my day? That's what I call schlong division.

Richard Jenkins is up to some weird shit lately.

He wanted to be a dinosaur, so instead he became some kind of weird sloppy party bottom.

Yeah, dinosaurs is a new name for a lot lizard.

Wait here, see here's another one. Here's an This is my boy, Devin jen And I really like this guy, Devin. And by that I mean she finds him disgusting and I enjoy it, and I think I'm on him early. If this guy comes out big, he's got like seven thousand followers, that's nothing. He could be the next Hawkta.

It's your boy Devin here, y'all. And I'm so PLoud of myself. I didn't itch my asshole when I was out in public today. I'm so PLoud I didn't itch my butthole. Okay, buh got that rhodicism?

What's roodicism?

It's that fucking when you can't say ours when you talk like Elmer fucking fudd.

Why did they call it rhoda? That's real shitty to do.

Oh yeah, dude, So they won't be able to say it like whoa to wisdom. Yeah, they can't be in the club. That's how you can. It's a litmus test, you know. The name serves as a test, you know, like you just say it and.

Then you say this, yes I can. Then you don't have it.

Yeah, uh can? Oh you can't say it? Okay, get on this train please.

That's why there's twelve s's n lisp. So I have a question.

It was weird.

It's not even I don't even really have a question. I want to know what this is. What was this trying to be? We did nothing but running all weekend, like we were fucking busy, just all weekend long. And yesterday we went to Michaels and there was a girl in her full like Michael's fucking clothing, which Michael's by the way, I designed the line because I was looking

You thought you thought they were going to come up to you and be like, sir, what's your deal?

I thought they I thought they were gonna be like, sir, what are you stealing?

Okay, that's still not a great response to that.

No, now, well you would just throw in another word, you go, I'm just trying to find my wife in this god forsaken shitthole store. Anyway, there's this employee. Is this girl early twenties, late teens, I don't know kids anymore, might have been twelve working on a fucking visa full white kabuki face paint. Okay, what is that? Is that a style? I haven't seen that.

I don't know if you noticed this, but Michaels is an arts and craft store. Yeah.

Yeah, it's not like Jerry's Art Rama, which is an art store. It's a store for it's It's the less Christian hobby lobby, but still along the same lines.

They got face paint there, got it?

They don't got face paint because I was looking for it yesterday. Well they someone came up and he said, sir, what are you stealing? I said, I'm just looking for fucking face paint.

Man. Okay, Well they do have body paint, because I've bought it at our Michaels. It was a ripoff. You can get it way cheaper on Amazon. But body paint, believe it or not.

It's a lot more lad in it on Amazon. But go ahead body paint, believe it or not.

Save for faces.

Yeah, why wouldn't it be?

Oh just because it says body on it, and you were probably looking for just face face paint. You probably saw the body paint you were like, fuck, I need it for my fucking face.

Oh.

Actually, like every guy at that store, I was actually just looking for my wife.

Did you find her? Yeah?

I did it eventually. Yeah, she's still roaming the fucking eye.

What was she doing there?

She is working on an art project for I don't know, to give to family and stuff. She's doing these like stuffed animals. She's building of people's individual things, Like you have a dog, She's gonna make it specifically colored to look like the dog and all that.

Okay, yeah, it was cool colored dog.

Okay, I don't use that term, but that's fine, you're allowed to.

I guess you went to Michael's. I watched movies. What a weekend we had, Huh.

I did a lot more than one with Michaels. I went to Walmart too.

I also went to Walmart to buy picture frames. And you know what I realized about Walmart? What not a great place to buy picture frames or a lot of other things, but especially picture.

Frames, ironically the best place to buy picture frames.

Like Michael Sky.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've bought a thousand picture frames from them when I was doing those autographs that I was framing.

Now they're just yeah, lots of ones. Mm hmm. You said some of those.

It was funny. And then I learned that I have a little bit of a collection problem.

Oh they call that hoarding disorder.

It's not see, it's not holding. Hoarding is like a mess and it's like unnecessary. I do have that too, but that's not related to the collection thing. The collection thing is like I like that, just like having it complete, having it finished, like I uh.

Yeah, you like filling those those little empty holes inside your soul, right, So like you have that Pokemon card hole, and you have the DVD hole, and you have away all my DVDs.

Oh okay, so away I put them in a binder. Okay, so the case is away, So you still in that hole? What am I gonna throw away DVDs for you? That's a movie? What did they change it? What if I go to watch in the Army Now and all of a sudden, PAULI sure's trans halfway through it because the liberal woke mom media went back and edited everyone to be trans. Just watch your vhs, that's what That's why I need it. I did throw out a whole bunch of VHS's too, Yeah, I I do that. I think I donated them.

Go ahead, sorry, I'll go through and it's like I'll throw out. So I threw out a lot of DVDs. But then there's like certain movies that haven't been made over to Blu rays or whatever, right where it's like they're or they are like, uh, they were a TV show or something, you know, and it's like it'll never be on Blue Ray. It's not even streaming or anything. It makes sense to keep those DVDs right because it's like, where else am I gonna watch? I Love New York

Dogmas tied up in rights issues and they haven't I think it is or maybe it's chasing Amy one of them, and they haven't been able to release a DVD in like ten years or something. So if you didn't have it, you're fucked, you know.

Oh man, what a tragedy.

All right? You watch The Beekeeper over the weekend? Oh dude, that movie was dog shit. And I had a purpose to why I was talking about this fun movies.

But go ahead, well yeah, I agree, it wasn't a great movie, But what's your purpose.

I'm gonna get gen into those fun movies. And I have a target for one coming up, and I don't know if you've ever fucking seen it or not?

What is it? The Jackal Oh dude, I've been wanting to watch that with Bruce Willie.

So the Jackal is a gratefulick. Yes, Bruce willis Jack blacks in like.

A gets his head blown off or something. I saw that scene on YouTube and I was like, this looks like it's worth watching.

It's one. It's one of those same dumb movies where it's like, we gotta let Richard Gear out of prison because he was an IRA guy. And it's like, well, what, you guys don't have qualified people that can take care of this, why I've been letting prisoners out.

Richard Gear is your most deadliest qualified dude.

I like, he's got a hard Irish accent and he's like, oh, pucked of the IRA.

Huh he does he pull the eye line. I'm not gonna spoil it, but of course he does the accent. Oh I thought you meant solving the crime.

At the end.

No, no, I don't give a about that.

You know, he's fine.

I guess all right, Well it sounds less good now, but maybe I'll check it out still.

Well, there's a new series coming out on Peacock or Hulu or one of those, and it's Days of Jackals. Yeah, well, yeah, it's like the same concept.

I think, so I was wondering, that's a spinoff from the movie.

What a weird I think it's I think it's a whole yeah, a reinvention, not like.

A oh wow, yeah, what a weird thing.

Huh yeah, what a weird ip to target, Like, well, yeah, I feel like they've done that a few times with like what wasn't there another one they brought back recently?

Shit, some other fucking piece of garbage from like twenty years ago that just recently had a sequel? The fuck was it?

Well, Boon Dog Saints they did that with. I never saw the second one. I didn't know me either good or not. I've heard it was whatever, like non great? Uh Lebowski that John Taturo tried to do a spin off right of the character.

Was it bad? I didn't see it.

I didn't see it either, But like, that's weird to I don't have a problem with it, especially if the Cohens didn't, but to like take someone else's character and then kind of be like make my own thing over here, it is weird.

That one.

Debuting my new podcast with fucking Mickey Mouse coming next week.

Oh dude, is it the old Mickey Mouse?

No, it's the new one, and if Disney tries to shoot me, he'll barricade myself in my home and kill my family. Just just change change it to nicky nicky nouse. And I like copyright infringement, all right, Yeah, I think we're probably skating on then. I was just saying, Mickey Mouse, I'm zero point eight percent Mongolian.

A lot of people probably are.

Yeah, I like I like stealing eyep. That's my thing. Oh, give me all your ips, you know, with a Z at the end, so people know I'm elon musk. No apostrophe, gives me all your I fucking hated that shit Internet talk, so I wouldn't.

You're such a nube. Uh.

I went to Uh, I went to Apple Now. I went to Red Robin yesterday from okay, go ahead tell me why.

I just I I used to really like Red Robin. I just feel like they've gone downhill quite a bit. The last time I went in there, it was just like there was like all these half deflated balloon owns like hovering at head level, you know, just like randomly around the restaurant. Yeah, there's just like salt, like huge grains of salt on the floor and no effort made

I walked in there yesterday and there were fifteen Muslim women in full on garb crushing hamburgers.

It's not pork, they can eat that.

That was funny. They were poor hamburgers.

It was weird.

It was actually it.

Was the it's their new red Robin ham burger. It's just a hamsteak on a bunch, Yeah, yeah, with mayonnaise.

Do you ever have ham steak?

Oh, dude. I used to love hamsteak when I was like yeah, when I first got married and back from Iraq, I think one of the first things I bought when I went to the grocery store with my wife was like a six pound ham steak. It was like enormous. It had a bone in it and shit, and it was like a vacuum sealed and it was like thirty five dollars or something. I like, took it home and cooked it in a frying pan, and I ate the whole thing. And my wife still mentions it, like how disgusting it was, you.

Know, Okay, why was it so disgusting?

Well, looking back, it was pretty nasty. It was pretty foul just thinking back on it. But yeah, I did used to love me some ham. I used to love the like the Canadian bacon from Dominoes, which is ham. It's just it's just ham. But I would order a There was a Domino's Express or whatever on base when I was in the Marines, and it was two blocks from the barracks, so I would and I think it was twenty four hours. Actually I'm certain it was twenty

Oh wow, you're so cool.

Yeah, I would always say it that way, and they would they would fucking just put so much ham you couldn't see the cheese, and then it would get all crispy when I'd go through the oven, you know, Oh my god, that was like fucking heaven for me. I would eat to shit out of that and uh yeah, and then I would fucking like crab and barf my brains out. But like, I still like ham for the holidays, but something about it, it's just like it doesn't do

Yeah, it's I'll take turkey over it. I'll take chicken. Actually, I'm just thinking about slicing ham's up there with turkey for me, as like this is kind of a once a year or maybe you get half a pound if you want a sandwich for me. That's how I see those animals pretty much.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, no, I feel you like I feel like slice deli turkey is fine, but no, like actually eating the meat, like the sliced meat, like off of a ham bone or off a turkey breast for Thanksgiving. Yeah, like turkey is not good. I've only had one good turkey I think, in my whole life, and it was last year's thank or friends Giving celebration. It's the only juicy turkey I ever ate my life. It was really good, But was it worth it?

If someone could make it that way every day? Would you eat it that way?

I would? Yeah? But people don't have a good track record, right, most people who make turkey it's not good, and you have to sit there and be like, oh, it's really juicy, you know. You know. Meanwhile, you're just like dumping the gravy boat all over your fucking plate.

Yeah. Jen doesn't eat gravy, so she solved that by just also not eating turkey.

So she just socks a loogie on her plate and then dips the turkey in it.

Fucking I. I think I'm doing the entire Thanksgiving this year.

Oh dope, Yeah cool.

I think it's gonna be cool. I think it's cool.

I'm doing most of it. But I think I'm gonna get some help. But you're you're gonna so you're doing turkey, potato stuffing, vegetable tray, cranberry sauce pie, what else?

M let's save that for when we do a Thanksgiving show.

Oh, okay, you didn't. I thought you didn't like Thanksgiving.

I don't like it anymore, but I used to very much like Thanksgiving. We talked about how much I enjoyed Thanksgiving every year.

Oh, I thought you said that. Yep, maybe, but I feel like I have a memory of you being like, we're only going to do a Halloween episode, never a Thanksgiving, her a Christmas episode, because those are holidays for pussies.

Well, I've said that about Christmas because the British love it and the British are queers. That's just unfortunate. I understand it's not a great situation to be in, but that's what they are.

It's reality.

Christmas is over. I worked retail for too long, in too big of a store. You know, some people would be like, I work re too. I work good counter and there's two other employees there, and it's like, yeah, it's not the same thing as being fucking bum rushed on Black Friday and shit like that.

I guess I feel like if you fuck the Dwarf, you would change your opinion on Christmas.

I don't think I would at all. Actually, I don't even try. I'm trying to logically put it together and figure out how I would feel differently. I guess maybe an ELF type situation, like, oh, you got the Christmas spirit? He fucking went balls deep on an elf.

Yeah, dude, because you feel so powerful because you break their ribs your dick to be a boost of confidence, which you need around the holidays.

You know, all right? You got anything else?

Oh? Man, I've been getting a lot of boners. It's kind of upsetting. Why. I don't know, dude. It's just like sometimes I wake up and it's like I got a boner. I thought this stopped happening, but no, Like I've been having boners when I wake up, and it's like, now I can't piss because I like to piss sitting down, dude. Like, let's just be real. When I wake up in the morning, I'm not going to stand there and take a whiz, especially not with a boner. But I like, I'm tired, dude.

I pissed in my mother's bathroom probably six months ago, right, and I sat down. It's a piss, and I was probably gonna shit too, let's just be honest. But I definitely was gonna piss. And I was on my phone. All the people that are like, I don't take my phone.

You do. If you don't, it's because you're poor and you don't have one.

Yeah, it's because you don't get mint mobile reception in the bathroom. Excuse me. So I was on my phone and I was distracted, and I my dick must have lined up perfectly, Oh no, perfectly with the slit in the middle. Oh yeah, yeah, And I dropped a full bladder of coffee and coke.

Zero, like brown piss all over the tile floor.

Well, I mean, why would she have carpeted, But I mean I didn't notice it hit my foot, and I went, oh, fuck that.

There's not like a one of those little mats that like hugs the floor around the toilet.

It was over the tub, so that way, like, you know, whoever was using the tub.

That's probably better actually, because you've fucking ruined that thing. Yeah.

Well, I think I took it and then mopped up most of the and then like, you're gonna need to wash this, by the way, you're probably gouldn't want to wash this, Okay.

I feel like that's that reminds me of one of the earliest stories I told on the podcast when I was drinking real nice and heavy and I had I had done almost the same thing, except instead of getting the piss all over my mom's floor, it was all over my pants. Like the piss just shot shot out the crack of the toilet and it just drenched my fucking sweatpants, which were leaning against the fucking bowl because I was like lying back, you know, like feeling sick and shit.

I'm getting to the age where pissed strips in the pants are just standard now.

Oh yeah, dude, it's part of life, just standard. You can just shake. You could shake, you can loosen all your muscles, you can stand, you can sit, you can like wag back and forth. But it's like the act of putting your dick in your pants and then zipping up it like it releases some trip wire or like some some hidden trapdoor mechanism that like, let's the last eighth of an ounce of piss come out. It's it's not going in the toilet. Your body's not gonna let it.

Thanks for listening. I'm Matt.

I'm a thought see next week later thoughts. You know what's queer enough that.

B I'm really gonna miss you guys when the show's over.

M hm