Let me finish.
This is the first time I committed a hate crime.
Maybe they'll jerk my dick off or something like that.
Yeah, probably we've disgusted. I'm associopath.
Any thrashed relationship, any trash ship. You're a worst friend. Do you want to know why you're all fucked up? Just look at the fucking problems you hang around with.
You're listening to your Worst Friend with Shane and Matt. I'm Matt. I'm joined today by my friend and co host Shane.
That was the best intro you've ever done.
Thank you, I appreciate it. Go to your Worst Friend dot com. Follow us everywhere on Twitter and Instagram at worst Friendcast, Patreon dot com, slash worst friend Cast. You get a bonus episode every week, access to everything ever recorded, entirely commercial free and what the fuck just working? Or is this frozen roll credits? My fucking Internet's been so shitty lately.
Maybe a squirrel got in the box. You got a box for your computer?
I do a box. I do have a box for my computer. Did I show you that or tell.
You that maybe a squirrel got in it?
Did I tell you what I did? It's the dumbest thing you could do. It looks retarded, but in a fun way. I fucking went to Goodwill and I bought this no, like an end table, like a you know you'd put on the side of your fucking couch in the living room.
Right.
It had a magazine dropped down in the back and it has a little door in the front. So I fucking took a jigsaw and just cut a hole in the side of it.
Attached a fucking is this a jigsaw?
That is a jigsaw.
Yes, the battery's dead.
You're the battery is not plugged in.
Okay, Oh yeah it's not.
There's no battery.
Yeah, it's in the battery bag. That's a good point. Check out my Dewault.
Toolbox, fault man.
Yes, you see that toolbox I just bought from my Dwault tools.
Uh. Oh, someone's trying to drown in pussy.
Yeah, dude. The Walt is like the pussy magnet that existed before a four chan.
Not like those fucking Ryobi pussies. I don't know that's a type of it's a it's the lower end type.
Oh is it? I've seen? Uh? What is it? They got? Like Martinelli? The Walt craftsman. Snap on.
I think it's not Martin Ellie.
It's Kie Makita ya.
You just you just jumped from Ally Forces in World War two, Nelly to Makita.
Now, Martin Elly, that's that fucking uh that's the cider. That's the cider that you drink at Thanksgiving. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, but it's still some fucking dago.
So I cut a giant hole in the box and I fucking glued ah.
Fan.
Like, what's it called? Fan?
Why?
Because then I put all of my laptops I have three of them I have to use, and my mac all inside of this wooden box, which is it again a terrible idea? Enormously because that keeps heat in more or less.
Uh, it's also gonna heat keep heat in if they're in a box with a fan.
No, no, no, the fan is pulling air out.
Oh the fans not in that box.
I ripped this side of the box off and I attached the.
Fan, okay, and you sealed off the sides and where the fan attaches, and you then sucked out all the air to achieve a perfect vacuum before turning the fan on.
Right, Why would that do anything? You just are trying to create motion of air?
Why do you want motion of air? Don't you want to cool the laptops? Don't you want as little air in there as possible? No?
Why why I'm not creating spacelike conditions here?
Oh yeah, I guess, yeah, I guess you. But is the other end of the box open for circulation?
Yeah? I drilled some holes in it?
Some holes. Why don't you just cut the whole side of the box off, and again, I think it would still just work better without the box, and you just put the fan next to the laptops.
I know, but I can't put junk and clothes I'm not wearing right now on top of it. If I cut all the sides off and just leave them sitting.
That's an insulator that's definitely going to track.
Keep my blow towards next to it running. So there's that. Yeah, all right, how did we even get here? You said something about there's sticks in my computer? I don't remember.
Oh yeah, you had a squirrel in that box at the computer box. No internet's not working. Oh that's what we're saying. Your internet's a piece of shit. You got squirrels in a box?
I don't know squirrels in a box? Is that a common phrase?
Is that you know a little you know, a little computer box. Yeah, it's probably a fucking critter in there that chewed on a wire. And now your internet's funny.
Yeah maybe, Okay, it's possible. I got an internet video for you here, video for you here. Yeah, that made sense.
Okay, what is it?
Well, football season's coming up. I think we're less than thirty days away. Oh shit, and I am an Indians Colts fan. I'd like to talk about that just for thirty seconds. I don't want to do more than four minutes on fucking football, but I think you should follow your hometown. Now team there's a team Nevada, Arenas Vega, Las Vegas Raiders.
That's not I'm way closer to fucking Oakland San Francisco.
And said, yeah, well they don't. I mean San Francisco has a team.
Sure, but what else am I closer to?
Uh?
Fucking Salt Lake City, even I think is closer than Las Vegas.
Yeah, but I'm not even near Indianapolis.
Portland is closer.
Portland doesn't have a team.
Seattle Seattle is are they North or South Washington?
I don't how would I fucking.
Because you follow football. Where the arena's at where the arena.
By the way, there's stadiums, not arenas. But that's fine.
Oh yeah, stadium's bigger. He told me that, ye stadium is where Saddam Hussein will execute a soccer team in a rena is where he'll execute his family. Yeah, or more intimate?
No, oh, more intimate? All right, yeah, but yeah, you want the bigger public show. That's a fair point for.
He did that. Yeah, I know he killed the soccer team at the soccer field Seattle. All right, Oh, it's north. That's okay, that's further away.
I think it's North.
Look what's above it? It's Canada. Yeah, it's North.
No, look it's right here. You've got all of Washington above.
It, and then what's below it? All of Washington and then all of Oregon.
Oh does it go that deep? Oh? I guess that fucking river really threw me off.
Yeah, you're not good at the maps.
No, I'm really not good with fucking maps, right, I'm not. I'm not the best maps men in the world. Lewis and Clark would be real fucking annoyed with me because we live in Florida.
It'd be like, I can't believe we ditch that fucking Native American bitch for this idiot. This guy said he was good with maps. He say he convinced us like, Oh, don't listen to this fucking wigwam bitch. Oh she's a fucking dumby. She's a girl. You're gonna let her map you.
I'll map you, perst off one. She's a woman too, savage, yes, like her flat face. Wasn't she not really that pretty?
Of course she wasn't. She was probably sickly and fucking beaten, you know, mercilessly as part of her warrior heritage. And shit, oh wow she's hot in that picture though.
Damn I think droll a real sexy there like that one. She's all right, she's even a little bit.
Uh yeah, she don't look great there.
She's littally androgynouss there.
Which doesn't even bother me. You know. I meant to tell you when we saw Coyla Ray uh open for jene Ico. One of the things I said to my wife afterwards was because we were both like really impressed with Coil Ray. The whole show was great, but I hadn't really heard her music. I didn't really know much about her. My wife straight up said like, it takes a lot to change my mind, and she changed my
mind because it was just a knockout performance. But one of the things I said afterwards was, damn, like, that's like the hottest and drought androgynists bitch I've ever seen like. She really does it well. So there's a way to do androgyny like sexy. She was like humping the floor and she had like a little bikini on, and shit
she was. She was sexy, but at the same time she has like guys clothes on and basically no tits, So you know, you can't tell unless you pull the fucking pants down and check, like you go to dick or something.
A boxer in the Olympics. Yeah, right, and then everybody knows what you are.
Yeah. Then they just take a Russian news story that says you got an x Y chromosome and run with it. But either way, whether you got one or not, there's a way to do the androgynist look sexy.
Name again, what name the person we're talking about?
Saka Chawia No, no, who toiler ray c o I l E. Oh yeah there you go. Yeah. So when we saw her, she had like baggy shorts, sneakers, like a little top, so you know, it's like covering her tits but like they're not there. And then yeah, her hair was like completely pulled back. She had definitely had boyvo vibes going, and it was making my dick do like, oh you know, like if she had a dick, yeah, I guess I would still have to fuck you know, like I was thinking it.
Oh no, no, First off, she has a very feminine face.
She does.
Yeah, that is a big deal in the androge anything m the the I would even say the fucking tilt of the cheeks down when they got those big fucking you know the Oh.
Yeah, I don't like British faces. Yeah that can can we just agree British people are like whenever I think of that, like that like big blocky cheek face.
Ah, don't talk about David that way, oh your cat, Yeah, we talk about David later.
Yeah, but I think of like, uh, yeah, look at this motherfucker on the left here with the glasses. Yet they're not like nice cheekbones.
Fucking homo from what he's got, he's got fuck you tattooed on his head. He's he's not an average.
I feel like I feel like that's the cheeks you're talking about on girls that is just like really disgusting.
Right are you talking about hi here?
Because I'm not No, I'm not talking about where the bone is. I'm talking about the impression of the cheek, how much of your face is, Like it's a combination of bone, jow, muscle, all the fucking shit that you would consider part of the cheek area. It combines in a certain way on British people that makes them look like they were pressed in between two bookends for their entire life. You know, uh I would oh yeah, that motherfucker right there with that fake square. No, not Tom York.
I saw a baby once that looked like Tom York. I wonder where he's at nowhere?
Good?
Did I click away from it?
With no?
Go up? He's got like this ai ass head. There you go, that's British mother. But here you go. That's the look.
Revealing the face of an infamous nineteenth century British assassin. All right, well I have to save this picture now.
Yeah, we'll say that, but well that's the cover.
Yeah, yeah, that will be the pep we can go. These guys aren't even fucking trying any more.
They got to dig deeper.
So, yeah, you brought it up. I Jen and I on a whim. I picked her up from work. I had to get back to work. I didn't. I just skipped it. And we went to pet Smart and we were looking at all these cats and they had all these like kittens and like cool colored ones in this and then towards the end they just had this big fat cat and he wouldn't give us any fucking attention whatsoever.
I next time, Yeah, next time, that's the cat I'm going for.
I like that. So we go around to the other side and start trying to bother them. No, then I look, I go, oh boy, he sure is winking at me a lot. Why is he doing that if he wants to run away so much? I notice? No, he's missing a fucking eye.
Okay, so he's got one eye. He's a cat and he that's all right. You could hey, all right, you could like it.
The reason I referenced before. He's a little British short hair, and his color. Get this is lilac?
Is that a real color?
They say? I mean, I know lilac is a color.
But I thought it was a flower.
Uh yeah, well, I mean all those violet right, is that a flower? It's got to be a color. They said his color is lilac. It's not some weird fourth dimension. I'm not having to look through something to determine what they mean by lilac.
Now, I thought violet was from Willy Wonka.
He's talking about the kid. Now, well, then what's an orange? Okay?
Oh that's a fruit?
Okay, So anyway, yeah, I got a cat. Now here's the thing that's cool. He had a real stupid fucking name to start with.
I disagree.
We never even played the football thing.
Hunt. Oh yeah, you wanted to do football. Yeah, okay, let's do football.
No, I let me tell you this first, because then I'll be done with football.
Uh.
He had a real stupid fucking name.
I think he had a cool name.
Did you did? Did I tell you his name?
You might have told me his name. But I'm just going to say this when it comes to pets, I like the name you gave your cat, but and I and I and it falls in line with my naming scheme for animals, which is, like you get them very human names. Sure, I like. I like the I like playing names. Like for a long time I wanted to get a greyhound and I wanted to name her Francine or Doreen. I really like that. It's just like those and I kind of like, yeah, that's a good one, right,
that's a really good one. I'm becoming so much more of a cat person, though, and I don't see myself getting any more dogs, so for now, at least you can have the name. But yeah, I love that pattern. Or I like to give them crazy, ridiculous, wild names, like you know, fucking where in the world is Carmen San Diego, And then every time you address them you have to say the whole thing or it doesn't work, you know. Yeah. Yeah, So those are the two patterns
I like. And I feel like the first name already had that attribute and then you went and changed it to the other quality I like. So I'm torn. I'm conflicted. Both names are good, but I think I like the first name better.
So what do you think, audience, if you had we haven't told them either. I don't think maybe the real name, but if you had a one eyed animal though.
Oh yeah, me and my wife were talking about that. Why didn't they name it cyclops.
Cyclops one right, Yeah, you want to go ridiculous, you want to go deep cut, not that deeper cut, but deeper cut. Frank, what's the reference.
There, Craig from Is that from Goonies?
Nope? Donnie darko Oh okay remember guy who gets Yeah yeah yeah, yeah, uh. You could. You could go with a pirate name. You could go I wouldn't, but you could go with Jack, call him Jack Sparrow and say it's because he's missing eye, like a pirate.
Yeah.
I don't like that, I think either. I know somebody who had an animal and named it Jack after Jack Sparrow, and I didn't like that.
No, because it's gay. Here is my cat, a lilac colored British short hair What should be I mean on paper? Like the fat red eyes in the world? One of them?
Yeah?
Uh uh, this isn't mine.
This is a google But is that a red Okay? So they're like camber but they're darker darker Okay.
Well that one was this one us is in the second. Anyway, they named this cat this cat again, a British short hair cat. Uh, very prim and proper, very classy.
Eddie Wop yeah, I like that name. That's a good name for a cat.
Fucking stupid rapper with one eye.
Yeah, that's ok he's got one eye.
I mean, I get the reference. All the other ones worked as well, though.
Yeah, but you already had the cat with the one eyed name.
Yeah one, that's okay, all right, famous one eyed people, some Chinese guy, some other Chinese guy.
I don't know any of these. Oh my god, there's not one famous guy that has an I missing. You know that. I think that's probably indicative of a bias.
Damn it. That's what I should have should have called them Sammy.
It's not too not too late, change changed his name, change his name to Sammy David.
So that is that is the reveal. I specifically said to Jen, he has to have like a give him a British name, but it should sound very normal and proper. I said, what about David. She goes, David's funny. I go, and we specifically note when we go to the vet that he does not like to go by Dave. Okay, So in the additional notes I will write that in he does not like to go by Dave, but then British name David Beckham David Bowie, Dave, David Banner, David, who's David Banner?
He made that song booty booty, booty pooty. Oh no, that's Bubba's mark. He did know he made Uh he made that. Yeah, that's so yeah, yeah he dripping sweat, dripping cum. Let me see your pussy sweat or something.
Yeah, I think that your lyrics were not far off if they were wrong.
So I think it's something about drinking pussy sweat. Was someone in the comments tell us what David David Banner is famous for.
I mean, we could just play it.
I don't care, Okay, I don't care about David Banner.
So yeah, we had to put our cat down on my birthday last year, November twenty seventh, coming up on a year, and we just kind of were like, this cat's cool, he's an oddball. He doesn't give us attention. Turns out that breed is just not like a fucking attention seeking cat. He's chill. He's real fat, but like that's his body build, super fluffy and salt and it's I don't know, it's nice pet around, you know.
Yeah, having pets is great. I just wish that I had known before you got or before I got this cat, how needy cats can be. I would have gotten away less attention seeking cat like you. My cat will not leave me alone. He is just like constantly up my ass. I can like play with him and you know, exhaust him to the point where he falls down on the floor, you know, and then he'll want to take a nap or whatever. And he's got his regular nap times throughout
the day. But when he's awake, if I don't like just to tire the shit out of him right the fuck away, as soon as he gets up, he'll just bug me NonStop. He's all up in my shit.
You know what Jen taught me, the subtle fun of hmm fucking like picking on cats. Oh yeah, let me clarify that sounds bad.
Uh.
More like you know, have you ever put have you put Scotch tape on Gomez his feet?
Yet?
No?
We threw spaghetti on.
Him and didn't do anything right.
He kind of just like froze and he like stuck his head back like that, his neck back, and he wouldn't take the spaghetti off his face. He just kind of sat there.
Let's see Scotch tape cat.
I mean like it on their like on the the paths of their feet. Yeah yeah, yeah, okay, let's see. Let's see they're speaking Asian. Ah, he's walking on his hindies.
And they do that. No, no, if you put it on all four start they start, They try and shake it off, and it's funny.
That's a cute cat. This one does not like it.
No, it's mean, don't get me wrong.
Oh he got it, he got it off, he bit it off. He used his ingenuity. He's a cat.
Yeah. Well that dog just fucking jerked off in the corner.
Oh that dog was shit yeah in their living room.
Yeah, okay, it's cruel. It's sad. You shouldn't do it. It's not funny. I know, it's not really cruel.
Oh dude, why do you get pets other than to fucking torture them and shit pick on them.
Yeah yeah, not torture. Don't say torture. There are people who torture pets.
Okay, Oh yeah, the Michael Vicks of this land.
Speaking of football, let me play this song by this guy. I think you're gonna enjoy it. H This was the fourt Okay, So apparently this guy was making a song for every team that the Colts were playing, even the preseason games. This is a song when they were playing the Broncos.
There's the preseason have any weight on anything? Or is it just so they can stretch their legs?
You know what it is. It's so they can sell concessions in the stadium, so they can sell shitty tickets. The only football game I've ever been to was a preseason game, and everything was like almost the same price as if it were a real game, and yet you're not seeing any of the starters play where it's beneficial. It's beneficial for coaches to see guys who are on the bubble of being cut or not, whether or not in a game situation, they can like step up and do something.
So yeah, yeah, but that preseason, that's not the real season. Let's say I put you in the game and then you joke on TV.
Yeah there is that, Sure, I agree. Let's play this song. This is the Colts anthem for a preseason game against the Broncos. Uh, and this will be the extent of our football talk until somebody gets killed on the field. We're off the field. There's a lot drunk drivers with these guys who signed thirty million dollar contracts.
I'll watch a good knee break, you know, once the season kicks off. All right, this is our couvs.
This is our team weeplea, this is our couvs.
Whether winner lose, we love them for the shoe beat the prongises.
Let's show them who the real horse is.
This is our team joke cold.
All right, I like the end. Okay, cool, he got me, he won me with the end. He's my wife's parlance.
Well, Benedict Arnold and such.
Oh yeah, dumb girls.
Yeah yeah, uh. You have gone to a few like famous guy restaurants, haven't you?
Just? Gordon Ramsey placed a couple of times.
I mean, yeah, are any of a Michelin star or no?
I think so. I think the at least the one in Tahoe is for sure, but I don't know about the one in Vegas or the one. Definitely not the one here in Reno because it's just a fast food. It's a Gordon Ramsey's take on fish and chips, and they literally just sell like fried fish, fried trimp and fried clams I think, or maybe klamari. But they have three things and fries. That's it, all right?
Well, this guy was unhappy with a Guy Fieri restaurant.
What kind of restaurants does Guy Fieri have? I imagined his place is more like a Chili's.
So uh yeah, I would say close. I know. The only Guy Fieri I've ever had was at a concert. They had like a like catering setup, not even no no catering. I'm getting general mission.
Well, I thought you were in backstage with the band, like you know, Guy Fieri was there like a guys, I made this for you. It's bastama zule and it's some fucking spare ribs, and it's my wife's mayonnaise, homemade mayonnaise. Help yourself.
You know, I'm back of the audience with the cripples. I'm not backstage. O.
Well, guys there you might be.
So fucking uh. The only time I've ever had it was I don't even remember if it was like a barbecue sandwich. I think it was a burger. I got it at a concert at h They had a stand set up for it, and if you paid extra you could get mule sauce, which is what they called. They're like, yeah, I guess that's what he calls. Is everything type of.
Sauce.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, mule sauce.
That's a great name for it. It's Kenny.
We're mocking it. But I like Horseya sauce from fucking Rby's.
I like some Horseya sauce occasionally on a sandwich, but I don't like I've never liked the name sauce, and I've never liked the name Jamocha shake. Get the fuck out of here with that that pre emptify bonics. Get out of here. They were trying to They were trying to sell me at Jamocha Shake in nineteen ninety. Get out of here.
Said nineteen ninety wouldn't work. Never mind, I was gonna say, not until OJ's convicted. Yeah, I leder one of those Jamocha shakes.
Not until I see Rodney King beat down in the streets a second time.
Jesus. Uh. Well, this gentleman was not happy with his Guy Fieri experience. And I thought it was a funny video. It's a the Yelp review we all want to do?
Is that a hank from breaking bad with a twope? It's Hey, I'm at Chicken Guy.
And uh, I'm at Guy Fieri's place. You know, it depends on who you how you spell it, how you say it, but swear to got.
Two chip ands with just two waters seventy fucking dollars.
Fuck this guy.
Oh, by the way, you want sauces on your thing, it's they're a dollar a piece.
Fuck you guy, Go fuck your stilist.
God fuck these prisons are closing left and right. This guy's a complete piece of shit. Go fuck yourself.
Guy, How about that? Am I making my point? Good?
Fuck your stuff. I don't know. I heard he's friends with Sammy Hagar.
You hear that? Or do you think they look alike? No?
I think I saw them hanging out in a video with the guy, the singer from Tool Maynard.
Remember when Guy Fiery got caught coming off a plane with his quote unquote stylist and the stylist was upset as if maybe he was not a stylist but a lover who had just been in argument with Guy Fieri.
Or yeah, maybe his fucking he's pancreas was acting up and that just made him look like a little bitch.
I don't think it's kurious As acting up. Let's see. Oh, here's a TMZ about it. We're gonna have to watch an ad. Maybe I don't know. This might be kind of gay. You tell me. I don't know. Just getting in pressy fights with your stylist, it.
Might be kind of gay. But I'm not a celebrity. No, this is the longest advertisement I've ever seen. This is the right video.
We're not halfway there?
Is this the right video?
It is the right video. Guy fiery fights his hairdresser. I don't know how many times he did that. I'll just look on YouTube.
No, don't, god, he didn't do it on YouTube. Well, he only did it on TMZ.
His hairdresser.
Hey, let's see, oh shipheads Kurt Kreischer.
No, no, no, it's just a fat guy.
You you're.
Oh my god, which ones?
Which guy was in the car?
Can we? I? I didn't see any of the fucking stupid tattoos, the spiky hair. Do we have confirmation this is him?
Confirmation this is him?
Yeah? Tmzes okayu yeah, TMZ is legit. They post the juiciest fucking muck.
It's funny. People hate TMZ like there their scumbag reliable they put out. Uh. They were the first one to get Kobe, they were the first one to get a whole bunch of stuff. He's man, that was so weird. First that I had a CNN alert that came through and it was in all caps like it should have been, you know, nuclear war has started or something. It's just said Kobe Bryant dead at he.
Was, Well, it wasn't he a big fella in the basketball world?
What are you asking me? Yeah, hey, it was.
That's a news story, you know, because people care about their sports here.
Yeah, okay, there's sports here really all right?
So oh yeah, so yeah, this fucker what he's probably just never been in a fancy restaurant before. Like, I don't know how good the food was at Guy Fieri's restaurant, but that's how the shit is. Dude. When I went to and if you don't know that after your first experience, why the fuck are you going to any fancy restaurant? Like I went to a fancy restaurant. Uh, when was it on Valentine's I think it was Valentine's Day with my wife and I hadn't been there before. It had
good reviews I looked online. It had the hallmarks of like a good fancy place where the menu is really limited, it's tight, it changes every day. They have fresh food in, you know, vegetables and fish and stuff. I didn't really dig it, you know, but I didn't fucking comply. It wasn't horrible, But was it better than like an olive garden meal that I could have paid the same or half the price for and gotten the same enjoyment out of No? No, it was about the same. It was
the same quality, you know. But I'm not bitching about it because I knew going to that fancy place that I'm paying for this fancy experience. That's like, that's the whole fucking thing, you know.
Let's see, all right, well you're and.
Just to give you some perspective, like when I first time I went to the Gordon Ramsay restaurant, we splurged. We we got the bottled water, like you can just get tap water. It's free, and it's Tahoe water. It's really clean and clear and filtered to hell, like naturally through the fucking aquifers or whatever, so you can get that. Or they have like imported crystal crystalline geyser water something in a glass bottle.
Sparkling feet through a river somewhere, and they bottled it and said from Norway.
Right exactly, and it's ten dollars a bottle. We got it the first time, and I think we've been there three times and every time we've gotten it. You know, it's just like, is it worth the ten dollars? It is when we're there, you know, that's just that's what you're paying for. So if this guy didn't like the meal, that's one thing. But it's like to act like fancy restaurants are expensive and this is news. Get the fuck.
Out fancy restaurants.
I'm gonna associate anything.
Fancy a lot. Well, let's just run through this man.
Well, well before we do, where is the restaurant located?
This is Las Vegas?
Okay, so right off the bat, every place in Las Vegas, especially if you're on the strip, is a fancy place. The drive through chapel is a fancy place in Las Vegas. You know what I'm saying. Because everybody is nickel and diming you for every little thing they can get. They like that. That's what I'm talking about. It's like the upsil the the.
So it's like, if I see so eating expensive with fancy.
No, I shouldn't have said fancy, but I am. I am saying that when I I am saying that when I get something expensive or fancy, I'm not necessarily expecting quality. Fancy stuff can suck ass. It happens, you know, But at the same time, fancy stuff should be very good.
So if what I'm alluding to is if I'm paying for anything on the Vegas Strip, and if especially if I see a celebrity's face on the fucking restaurant's billboard, I know, as soon as I go in the door, for every person in my party, I should at least expect to spend one hundred dollars. You know, Drinks are gonna be so much money. Appetizers, dessert like things come
in courses. So if you want macaroni and cheese as a side, it's like eleven dollars for a little bowl of macaroni and cheese in addition to your fucking steak or whatever. I know all this in advance. This fucking sixty year old man didn't fucking know that.
Fancy. I would like to turn down some of the menu at Guy Fieri's.
What is this one stink zone.
Vegas Kitchen and Bar, where.
The My Vegas Kitchen Bar, where.
The logo is fucking wings made out of kitchen utensils around a cauldron of fire. Why the fires in the cauldron? I don't know.
I think that's the leftover logo from uh Rock of Love season three.
Doesn't look good? Fancy you used a few times on the Schabels menu. We have the jalapeno pig poppers. Uh, we have the trash can nachos. Mm hmm, caso corn dip that don't sound American now. And the quote unquote Korea town tacos? Why is that? Why is that quoted?
Maybe he learned from the ancient Koreatown Master of you know, Louisiana or wherever he's from. He went to the local Korea town in Oklahoma. He's like, oh, please teach me a wise one. How do you make the Korea town tacos?
Okay? But then why is it in quote? He should be the you're saying he learned the I'm wondering if this was the thing.
Well, that's because the man, uh, the Koreatown master, he was like, get out of my hut, my tuckle hunter, I will not teach a super go Korean tuckos. So yeah, legally he has to put it in quotes because if if he said they were legit Korea town tacos, he would be, you know, moving in on mister Chun's business.
Fancy was the word used once or twice the second section. Here, ain't no thang but a chicken wing. You got your buffalo wings, you got your sticky guccu jang wings, which I felt racist saying it, and your double barrel barbecue wings.
All this sounds great ones.
Yeah, that sounds great, Not like I wouldn't be like.
I bet you this shit was bombed, dude. And I don't even like Guy Fieri. That's the funny part. I have no vested interest in this guy. I used to see his show on the Food Channel or whatever when I was working overnight and immediately skip it. But I don't have a problem with this dude, I bet you, because he's a big fat, like a loud, obnoxious Okay, let me give you a quick story. One time, me and my wife when I worked at AutoZone, I got invited to my boss, Steve's brother's house. So my boss,
Steve was this big fat guy. He was super nice, he talked a million miles a minute. He was a really organized boss. But he was very self interested, right, Like he was constantly leaving work early and shit. So when I saw an opportunity to get in good with this guy, I took it, you know. So it's like, yeah, I was trying to get on his good side so I could leave early and not have to do the work, you know. I fuck yeah, Like I'm that motherfucker. I'm
who's that guy, Dwight. Dwight was a really good worker though.
Huh, yeah, you're the opposite.
Yeah, I'm that black guy.
Oh, the black guy was just punching and punching out.
Yeah, yeah that's me.
Yeah, you're the black guy.
I am the black guy all this time. I just found out. But anyway, I go to Steve's house or Steve's brother's house. Mike, his brother is a way bigger, fat guy, equally friendly. But these people are just fucking trash, you know.
Like wait they yeah, because trash doesn't mean mean or shitty or anything like that.
We're having a great time there where we stayed for a long time, eating food and playing a drinking.
What's trash?
Then to you, well, everyone in the family, kids, even all the guests. I think it was required. I think we're the first people in the house to not have a.
Full fisted two liter bottle of soda as they was.
Well, no, they left them for us like that was the party favor, like pick up your two leader on the way in. But no, we were the first people to ever step foot in that place that didn't have skin tags. It was like, profusely, I.
All saw this weight. I got a couple of them. I'm gonna get them off soon.
I had one, I think, gross, But I think before it got to the point where I realized it was the skin tag, I had already cut it off with something, so yeah, I don't.
I had one next to my balls.
Oh boy, you want a dentist to look at that one.
Well, I don't clip them. I got one of those kits where it like puts a little rubber band around it. Oh okay, and after a few days it falls off. So you just have this piece of dried.
Skin tag and it's like a dog's tail.
I'm gonna mail it to you next time, I think, say to Jen, I think I said, should I mail this Shane? She goes, that's horrible. You should not do that.
Just the only thing in the envelope I'm like shaking it out, like what the fuck is in here? He is, I'm rattling around, but what as I saying?
Oh?
So we go to Mike's house and these people are trash, skin tags everywhere there. You know, Mike the brother is missing all but like four teeth, you know. Like I asked him once about it, like is it hard to eat? Like He's like, no, I can. I can eat everything that you can eat. I was like, can you eat an apple? He's like I can't. I can't bite an apple. But if you cut a slice of apple for me, I could eat it. It's like, how do you eat it though? If it's got the skin and everything. He's like,
I just gum it. You gum anything enough and it'll get soft and muschine. You just swallow it. And I was like, so, hey, did he look like the.
Other the leftover teeth were holding up?
Oh no, no, they were like just was.
A tower seven like we were just it was burning.
Yeah, calm down. It was just like a black, smoldering mess and it was about to topple into the other buildings. Yeah yeah, all.
Right, all right.
So it was again, these people are nice. I didn't have any problem with him. I'm literally giving you descriptors. I'm not trying to put any.
Like you're making no judgment on it. You're just pointing out things you saw.
You know, all these people is trash. But anyway, so the one thing I realized though, God damn, everything tasted so fucking good, Like, these people know how to make good ass food and a lot of it because they are hungry all the time, and they are hungry for good stuff like you get at a restaurant, because fat people don't want Like I've never seen a fat person who sits there and eats like try chicken breasts like out of a can. And that's how they get overweight.
You know, you get overweight from eating stuff that tastes yes, that tastes good. You know, these people have learned through trial and error how to make the best food on the littlest budget and how to share it with everybody because they love to party. Another sign that you're in the presence of trash. But you know, people can party
and that's fine. But if people just love the party and it's like two am and here, it's like, okay, I got to work tomorrow with you actually, and They're like, oh, but stay, you're probably in the presence of some fucking trash. But we knew that, like this was a new level when they broke out something that was new for us, us a deep fryer, and they filled it with oil something,
you know, Crisco or oil something like that. But what I noticed was that instead of like, let's say, in my mind, I thought at the time, if you were going to deep fry a twinkie, you might just throw the twinkie into the deep fryer. Now this is just me like spitballing. I might have also known enough about cooking at the time to know you gotta batter it up.
You gotta roll it in some flour and some egg batter or what is it like some whipped up egg and then some more flour and made some breadcrumbs and then you would throw it in. These people had a different solution. They took down what is the name is it? Biz quick? Is that the pancake Oh they made whoa?
They made corn dog twinkies essentially?
Yes, they they made oh not just twinkies. Well first, yeah, they whipped up a whole box of pancake batter. Yeah, and I know they used the whole box because the the whole point of using the whole box was that when they ran out of the pancake batter, that's when they had to stop deep frying the snacks because they only had the one box. So they're deep frying twinkies. Oreos like fucking those little what do they fudgstripe? I
think that was the one that Mike liked. He's like, oh yeah, they melt so good in my mouth, you know.
And and fat ass guys eating deep fried things, holy shit.
And it was a lot of fun. And me and my wife both talk about this a lot, like, God, damn, wasn't that food good? Weren't those snacks good? Like the twinkies? I think. I think I might have had a bite of a twinkie just to appease them, But the oreos like, I could have eaten a couple of them, but I hurt so bad after one, you know, oh my god. And these people are just shoveling them into their fucking faces.
But it's like, I get it. They taste so fucking good and they're conditioned for it was trash.
How's dirty at all?
They made an attempt to straighten up.
That's nice. That's nice. I just I can't eat for the dirty factor on trashy people. I couldn't.
Oh yeah, I just couldn't. Yeah, I've changed a lot since then. I don't know, I'm a lot pickier. I go to food things and if something looks off now I generally won't even give it a try. And I used to be adventurous, like our future president Robert F. Kennedy. But I really have taken a step back from fucking with people's food just because it's like I realized, like I make really good food now because I've learned over the years. Like maybe it's vanity or whatever. But I
want to impress my family. I want to cook good for them. I want to impress guests when they come over. I want to eat good food. But dude, it's like a lot of people I know, when they cook, they'll have a big thing and they'll proudly proclaim like, oh I made all this, and it's like, fuck, dude, you really want to take ownership of this? All right? Okay, Yeah, it's it's tasty. Sure, you know.
I I only really like eating food I haven't seen being made or I'm made myself. It's so weird. I'm more weirded out by like family members making food. I'll be much more reticent to taste that than I will a fucking burger. That's some high school kid probably wiped his dick on.
That's a good point. Oh man, that's a good point. But it's like, other than my grandma who's dead, I don't know that. I Yeah, I agree, Like I would not eat a fucking single thing my mother ever cooked for me ever, Okay, Like I'm saying that she was. If she was to come over now and be like, oh, let me cook, I'd be like, no, you take a load off. It's just like I know that there's no way she's going to cook anything good. I think that's
probably a fair point. Yeah, it is easier to trust a stranger almost than it is, right because you know how bad your family is.
Yeah maybe, but I mean even yeah, or even a family I didn't know. Like if I went to something and a cousin was there and they were like they're a real good person, they're related's ohah, and they made that with their own hands, I'd be.
Like, it's kind of like fucking a cousin, huh.
If I went the White Castle and I saw the guy picking his nose, I'd be like, well, he probably has gloves when he made my sandwich.
Yeah, wine, he probably didn't wipe the bogger on the grill and say it was an onion.
Plus, anything you ate was melt heat in oil, which, by the way, one of those little mini deep fryers is one of the rashiest things you can. You can just put oil in a pan or a pot and boil it like that's hot.
Oh yeah, But okay, so let's just be let's just say right off the bat, I was going to embrace the trashiness of a deep frier and say like, okay, well we've got a deep fryer. We're trashy hot. But to say there's no practicality is just foolish. You can use.
It in this. You can use a pot the same way you can.
But you can't have as big a space as you can in a pot as you would in a deep fryer. Like if you need to make if no, if you and you can't have the what is it the uh, the heating element so that the stovetop only heats from the bottom the air. The deep fry heats from all angles. All the oil is heated to be the same temperature overall.
But if you have a pot full of oil, you're going to have a hot spot at the bottom and a cold spot at the top, and you're gonna have to be constantly like moving stuff around, which is not always the best technique for getting like crispy juicy thing. Generally you want to just let it rest.
Right.
You can definitely get a pot at least this big.
Yeah, but you'll only be cooking it from the bottom. You'd be fucking up your fries.
But that's okay, because you're boiling the entire oil.
That's not how fucking.
Not boiling and keeping it all at the same temper.
That's not how it works, though. Yeah, you would fuck up the fries. Make some fries, Go make them, come back, tell us how it works.
Well, none of this matters anymore because we have air fryers.
Yeah, I do like air fry but I still okay, that's what I was going to say.
Things that need to be fed.
Yeah, there's a practicality to the deep fryer where let's say my wife wants to make Lumpia Filipino egg rolls, there's no substitute. There's no better way. You could have a pot on the stove, have the deep fryer going, and you could use the stove on the egg rolls, even because you only want to do one layer at a time. But being able to just like throw them in the like roll them up to be the exact size of the pan, like the little thing that you dip into the oil so that they all fit in snugly.
You drop them all in in a line. You just drop that in the oil and then be able to dump it out and repeat. That's a very practical tool right there.
How many times a week is she making these egg rolls?
Oh dude? But when you do make them, you make hundreds. You make hundreds of them, literal hundreds. It's and to do that with a pot or a pan would be a fucking nightmare, oil splashing everywhere, and shit, Okay, I am there, so there is some practicality. So I am trash. I'll take me in the trash. I mean, just give the deep fry a little credit. Oh dude, he didn't do anything to you.
There's a lot I like mountain dew, mountain de trashy as ship mountain.
Dude doesn't even taste good? Why do you like it?
Don't probably say it's racistist? Did you hear that thing?
You know? What is that? Oh?
You didn't hear jd Vance bomb that fucking joke?
Oh? I heard he had been like, so, what's the deal he's out like campaigning, He's getting a lot of crickets at these events or something. I hear he has a lot of gaffes.
I'll be honest. Yeah, but you're reading the one side of it.
I'm not reading any side of it. I'm just wanting to hear it. I'm not reading a side. I'm just getting. I'm what I'm gleaning.
What I'm let me say, I probably I came at that more aggressive than I meant to, only to say I haven't. I haven't really watched any of this, So I don't know if he's I just know this one got boy, this one joke bombed because I saw it. I heard it on a radio show I listened to.
What I've heard is that just from hearing people talk about his appearances, is that you know, what what should Trump do? Should he change? Should he drop? Should he do this? Their strategy was was this jd Vance would have worked for Biden, but it's not going to cut it for Harris. So I've heard all this discussion that's related to what should Trump do in light of jd Vance's recent appearances and the potential future as the running mate.
So I wouldn't say I'm reading aside, hearing aside, getting aside. I'm just getting the sense that he's not performing the way they wanted him to.
Yeah, again, I have no that's interesting then, because I don't I the vice president. I don't really find I really haven't followed much since the shooting. I want to get this really, I'll show you this thing afterwards. Here's jd Vance bombing a joke. Again. The only reason I follow this at all is because I heard it on a comedy show because it's Hey. So, remember I said about drinking mountain dew. You'll probably call that racist.
It is the weirdest thing to me. Democrats say that it is racist to believe. Well, they say it's racist to do anything. I had a die mountain dew yesterday and one today. I'm sure they're gonna call that racist too, but.
It's good.
Ready, here's where and again when I listen to people talk about it as professional comedians, so you can see it that it's good. Is a very like, hey, guys, I'm looking for a little more from you here, you know. Yeah, and then the next line is him just like giving up quitting.
Look, guys, Oh boyringe.
These people were telling jokes up in the front row. You guys might hear it, but I'm I'm I'm getting caught a reaction.
Oh yeah, that was cringe. God damn, I didn't see that.
That was real, real bad.
That reminds me of fuck, what was it? That reminds me of a please clap moment?
Yeah, even if even if like it was like, uh it was queued up on a card or something, whatever, the whatever, the most charitable take is his pathetic little whimper please clap.
You know.
It was that kill.
I mean, that was the end of it.
It was the end of it. Did you see this one? I'll post this picture somewhere where all of the media in the same day. Uh fucking started using the word joy for the Kamala Harris campaign.
Oh yeah, that's probably because the what is it, the the leakers or the staffers who report to the press, uh said like, oh yeah, she's gonna say the word joy.
Joy is the new buzzword we're using. Yeah, that's not She shouldn't be leaking that to the press. Pressure.
I mean, we know this happens like that.
I it's okay to still be pissed about it. We know cops shoot black kids thirty eight times. We can get pissed every time they do it.
Yeah, I just don't see them as equivalent.
You know, why one is shifting the entire culture of the country and one is a kid who may or may not have reached.
For Well, I mean, it just assumes that the other side is not doing the exact same thing.
They can be. What we've seen is one side dominates the space.
Oh you mean just because there's more places that supposedly have a liberal bias. Yes, yeah, okay, I mean I will. I don't even know if I want to say that I concede that point, because I'm not even sure that there's a real I mean, I think there probably is a left bias in general with the news people, but that doesn't mean that the other side is not engaged as well. Like, sure, they're legitimate news organizations, they absolutely have sources and credibility or else hopefully or else we
would see through that. We would you know, investigate the investigators. That's usually what ends up happening when journalists get found out that they lied about a story or embellish something or whatever. So I would hope that those checks and balances are in place. And because I don't I don't know that world.
But but isn't that what guys like Matt Tybee did and then he got outcast from journalists?
How what did he do? What did Matt tayibe Twitter files? What is in the Twitter files? I'm not saying that like for you to inform me. I'm saying what is in there? That's so damning like that, Like you have both sides reaching out to Twitter making requests, and you have Twitter denying requests, accepting, you know.
And accepting mostly other requests.
But so what's the problem wing to celebrit not mostly like forty percent of so you're going to say, okay, so sixty is more than half cuts mostly forty percent they reject it. So it's like and it's not that
they're recommending anything. You have to look at the Twitter files, Like a lot of the stuff is just like hey, this look at this account, please, you know, and then Twitter will look at the account and be like, there's nothing to see here, and they don't delete anybody or block anything, or since or anything, and they move on. And then also in the Twitter files, you don't have the government on either regime on either side, Biden or
Trump saying censor this person, take this person down. You have the government saying like, hey, what this person is saying may not be factually true, or we didn't report that, or something along those lines. But all the decisions are internal with Twitter. You have Twitter people talking back and forth like, hey, should we run with this. No, I do think that's bullshit because it's linked to this, but yeah, leave that up because I don't see any reason to
doubt that. Like, you have Twitter people making all the decisions. So I don't know what's so damning about the Twitter files.
The argument comes from you said you don't quite believe or will won't concede that there's somewhat of a liberal bias in the media. I'll do it at that. I won't argue.
I'll say I'll say that more of the main mainstream news outlets that I know of are liberal, but more of the commentators.
More of the pundits I know of are right leaning, and that's because I think they come from the internet, right They come from YouTube and Twitter, and they've now they have the Daily Wire and like they've built their own platforms and stuff. But I think a lot of the right people are the right leaning people is not right to mean correct, but the right leaning people I think the biggest voices are are on the internet. You know, they're just not on the TV, but I still hear them.
But you Wilso, I mean you said they built their own platforms like Daily Wire and this and that stuff like the Huffington Post's been around twenty five years, Okay, you know, like I mean, you're saying the right leaning side is fine. You know, is there also they have strong blah blah blah. Yeah, But I mean, I can I can account for this stuff going back. You know that bar as well for I don't I don't care. I just thought the Jada Advance thing was funny, and
that's all oh I think is funny. I disagree on the liberal lean I.
Know, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not agreeing nor disagreeing. That's the thing is, like I'm saying in theory, what you're saying sounds right, because I know of more liberal leaning mainstream news outlets, right, and I'm pretty sure i've heard of like, oh, here's a study that says like, all this is left leaning, all the ai bots are left leaning, And I'm willing to accept that there could be this left leaning bias, but I also haven't seen
it clearly demonstrated. I've heard a lot of conjecture, and I've I've also seen things like, well, a lot of companies just have to appease more left leaning people because they fucking complain more, you know. So it's not that they have this bias. It's that the people on the right don't complain about as much. So if they complain about more stuff, they'll you'll start to see a more
right leaning bias. Like have something other than abortion to complain about, or guns or the border, pick a new thing, you know, and then maybe that'll spread it a little bit.
Maybe.
Yeah, I don't know. I don't ow it's going to be interesting. We're a few months away, so figure.
But it's like, I think if there was a left leaning bias, and if there is a left leaning bias, that's that's that's good and bad. It's good because it it shows that despite their being this bias in the media, the system seems to still be functioning as normal. We had Republican Democrat, Republican Democrat president. The swing states are still the swing states. They still swing. The other states are still locked in in the regular colors. It's uh, it seems to be business as usual. You know.
Yeah, yeah, I I I don't know. I'm done. I'm I haven't followed Trump in weeks. I don't know what's going on with other stuff. If I don't see it, if it's not funny, I don't care anymore. I'm done with it. Like you said, can't really fight it, just let it go. Man. It's like, uh, I'm tired of underinformed people arguing constantly.
Uh.
Like it's toxic online. But even just videos I'm watching of people, even just people who are supposed to be educated, not using facts or lying about a little thing to make their point. I'm disgusted by it. I'm done with it.
So you're saying, you're saying that's what you see in the media.
No, that's what I see in independence. I mean, if you want to call the media like you know, individual people, then we're stretching the definition too far. I don't care is done. I'm done. I'm done. I mean I'm done caring about it. It's it's you can't fight it anymore. It's there.
I you know whatever, So what do you? What do you? What's what does that mean? You're given? You're giving up, You're gonna cut yourself?
Please don't no, no no, because politics isn't my life.
So I thought you said you were giving up.
You're giving up about this stuff. I'm not going to fight with people who either won't admit it is wrong. I've written out a thousand comments on different things.
Lately, and what do you think we're doing?
I delete? What do you mean?
Well?
Is that?
Is that why you're saying this? Because you think we're arguing you're arguing with something just.
Made the point about Reddit or Twitter or whatever. Are just stleading just underinformed people, but also like, like, I don't know when people just I'm tired of it, Well, yeah, I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of dealing with people who don't put in the same level of intelligence on shit work. You do, fine, you do work on it, and we disagree and that's whatever.
But no, I'm saying like, you don't you You're saying you don't have time for people who don't put the time in the work in.
I don't have time to argue with them. Yeah, I absolutely not that. Yeah, I'm just not interested. I'm just not interested. I'm above that. I have a British cat now.
I feel like every once in a while, I have to get something out of my system. So I just look for somebody in a YouTube thread or comment section, you know, and I just like, sometimes let them have it.
You yelled at me last week, and you were getting angry this week.
People will tell me all the time that I'm like.
If someone says, hey, you're being too aggressive, you're scaring my kid me, maybe you should in the moment go oh am I doing that again?
Oh yeah, I don't trust me. I've worked, I'm trying to work on that. But if somebody has explained to you multiple times, like, look, just because I'm raising my voice doesn't mean that I'm angry or anything. I talk intensely, you know, like that's just just how I get Like, I'm not issuing you or wishing you any ill will or saying anything mean like this is just how I've always been. I think it's a reflection of how I have been spoken to a lot of my life. But
that's neither here nor there. But that's just it's really something I try to work on. But I feel like you saying like, oh, well, you yelled at me, that's okay it are you mad that I raised my voice?
Sorry about anything? Oh okay, it's not even the yelling, it's the when you just go okay, okay, that face.
I don't know what you mean, like why like my face?
Okay?
So so I think I think I know what I think. I know what you mean. I think I know what you mean. I think. But what it is is you're you're confusing me being surprised by your answers with me, like passing judgment or something. So I don't want you to think that, like I like.
Is that legitimate surprise or is that like.
Sometimes yeah, I think it's well, I don't I don't remember the context.
I don't think we ever went to the moon. Okay, you know that's not legitimate surprise. That would be like, oh, this guy's a cunt, let me give him that cunt.
Looks maybe, but i'd have to see myself or hear myself in context because I really can't. I guess I should remember it better, but I can't. But I think that, Yeah, like what I was, whatever we were talking about last week, I remember it related somehow to the Twitter files. That's why I looked it up afterwards and read about it.
That we were weren't we we said something about them, We.
Just mentioned something about it, And it's like I, I didn't. I didn't leave that feeling like anything, but just wanting to like get to the bottom of what we were talking about. You know, I just I I really do love as much as it's it's corny as it sounds. I love like bringing people together, you know, I really do. And I it's like I'm always trying to find solutions for stuff. So yeah, even if I come off aggressive,
like I really, I apologize, I don't intend to. I'm always, uh, at least in my mind, always trying to come at everything from a good place.
The problem is I don't want to go back at you. I'm not some timid, fucking pussy. Just so all aware. I don't want to go back at you because I don't want to hurt our friendship with a because it would I would if I went back at you. You would, I think, I know, you know, if you would slightly feel the need to escalate, and then we'd both start escalating and then eventually it would be a full on, like yelling fight. And I don't want to eye whatever happened,
that's see. Have we ever seen the effects when you drow up a nuke? Maybe it just fulling blues up so fis or something.
We saw it. Yeah, well, those Japanese and then we.
Decided neither again after this next one okay.
Oh yeah, and all those tests on the ocean.
What was the second one, Nagasaki?
Yeah, that was the better one.
Hiroshimo was the first.
More fun to say.
So, I don't want to get in some fucking screaming match, which is where I'll go, especially if you say something, if you go whatever, whatever.
So I don't either. But here's getting in to that.
Because I like my friendship with you so much.
I do too. Sometimes it's it's all right, I could take it or leave it, I guess, okay, but I know I also don't want to fight or anything but with you. But here's the thing. I really am the kind of person and this is probably what really sets us apart. I think I really am the kind of person that I can go. I can push it to the limit, you know, like I can push it further than it should ever go, and the next day it like it in my head it can feel like what
the fuck are they upset about? You know, like get over short memory in that way, not short memory, it's I.
That's short for like like resent or anything like that.
Well, it's my it's I think it's my emotions. You Sometimes I can stretch it out, but like, yeah, I think I have to work at it. Sometimes I have to like try to stay mad. It's like I better stay mad until Wednesday so I can fucking say this
to him, you know. But other than that, like, yeah, I really do once I get it all out, even though I might say the worst fucking things are manageable and and hurt people, and and I've had it happen to me where it's like I've been in screaming matches and people have like said the worst ship to me
and hurt me. And then afterwards it's both like, well, well, yeah, let's I guess we'll get Baskin Robbins, you know, but I think that that's again, a big thing that I grew up with was just like you, escalating to the extreme and then acting like, oh, yeah, everything's cool, you know. So, uh, that's just me. So if I come off like aggressive
and stuff, yeah, I'm not trying to be. And also I value our friendship, so I don't want to yell at you and scare you away because you're a little pussy bitch boy.
I can't find him now, but Tim's septac in the third grade septic tank septank septac okay, jewish name told me I wasn't allowed to play with his vortex football that he was throwing around with all the other whistle I have thought about this guy every day since then, and when I was old enough to understand real estate, the idea of making up enough money and sitting back and watching him buy a house and settle in his family and buying all of the homes around it to
turn them into low income projects around this guy's dream home, so he'd have to sell it for nothing if he ever wanted to leave it.
All whatever he makes, so you got to make six times as much.
So when I say I have a longer memory, that's true. I don't see he deleted his Facebook the last time I saw Tim Septac Uh huh. He was married to a maybe married, definitely had kids with a three hundred pound You saw precious.
Right, yeah, yeah with uh what's her fucking name? Cita Gabaret, citab Yeah. His wife looked like Mono Oscar winner. Uh no Oscar Oscar nominee. Yeah, yeah, I think Monique won the Oscar Yeah, as the rapist auntie rapist mother.
Uh yeah she was. Uh, this is who is this bitch? Oh she's trashy s too, man?
She went to our school?
Did she?
Did she know? I think she did?
No? No, no, no, no. Last name, don't say her first name. Last name is Camiso.
Mmm, it's you know, there's so many goddamn Italian, stupid, fucking diego names.
Hey, can we come together politically on both sides and agree fucking wops gotta go?
Yeah, drop the pasta off and leave.
Let's play this video to end it here.
What is this guy?
Okay, this is one of these days I'm gonna pull the footage and we're gonna watch that fucking John Bass now you remember him. Oh oh, he had or by.
Fitness six sixty sixty six minute apps, eight minute apps.
Yeah, something like that. He's now selling trinkets on Facebook. We'll watch that one of these days. But John Bastall is selling trinkets on Facebook.
Okay, it looks like Gavin Rosdale from the still, so sure it's John Baystall.
This is not John Basdall. This is a similar thing though. He is selling colognes. Oh okay, I think either online or something like that, like, oh, you need to pick this one up. Check this scent out. Oh it smells like the ocean. Well, here's his analogy here, let's wrap this up.
This is Gavincale.
It is not Gavin Rosdale. Actually you mean Gavin Rosdale of Bush.
Yeah, of Gwen Stefani's Bush.
Did you ever see did you ever see him playing guitar.
In the rain? Uh?
It sounds familiar. Was he singing glycerine at Woodstock with.
Either that one or a different one? I don't think it was Woodstock. I think it was like an MTV thing.
Oh well, yeah, I think I seen that clip was a good.
I mean it's a pussy winner.
Yeah, dude, you go back and listen to Bush nowadays you're like, God, damn, how do we ever think this guy's voice was appealing? You know, It's like it really just sounds like you're trying to turn on a model t you found it in a shed and you're just trying to turn it over. It's an awful sound.
I like Gathic and I like Bush personally.
I like Bush. I listened to their whole album sixteen Stone the other day. That's got that one song Everything's In where he says there's no sex in your violence, as if that's a bad thing, all right.
And the last one I don't talk so much about is Perry.
Alice three sixty Rats. I love it, man.
It's the dildo of the fraggance in the street.
And yeah, it's not so funny. Actually, I still don't know how.
To talk about the cough topic off masturbating.
It's difficult, man.
I do it, but I don't come and you know, if I can be that honest, but simply to boost.
My power type of vibe, all right.
Ultimately, of course I want to have a girlfriend and a wife, turning that girlfriend into a wife, and have great kids.
So that's very out was three sixty red and the last.
But the fuck was did he have a break with reality during the filming of this segment.
What he did? Yes? It felt like shit fucking reality on that one.
So yeah, it was like you know in Beetlejuice when they step out of the house and they instantly end up on saturn the sandworm thing. Yeah, I had the sandworm layer or whatever, and then somebody will see them and pull them back into the house and be like, you've been gone for hours. This dude literally just fucking sandworm hitt at.
Us who's holding a Periellis thing as he got pulled back. Yeah, that was fucked. This guy's a real fucking weirdo, and I wouldn't buy cologne from him.
Yeah, I would assume that the cologne is the sweat that builds up when he's jerking off and not coming.
Why is he going to point that out?
Yeah, I guess he's that's his way of attracting a girlfriend that will eventually become his wife. Is like, if they know, oh, he's got all the seed built up he's been he's losing the sweat so he's dehydrate it. But he's got a lot of seed.
Stored seed is about the grossest term for it.
I think he's like a patch of dirt under an oak tree.
All right, we're gonna wrap this one up. Go to your Worst Friend dot com, follow us everywhere on Twitter and Instagram at Worst Friend cast Hatreon. Today we're gonna be playing a few clips from the Gathering of the Juggalos, an app for children, and save this for next week because this is a good one.
Oh that looks disturbing. Yeah, I don't want to watch any more child porn on this show. You got to stop doing that. I'm going to get in trouble.
I mean they're gonna transcribe these things someday and then they're gonna start serving for who said what, And you're yeah, your computer's gonna get searched. It'll be fine, it'll just be a fucking hassle.
It will be a hassle because especially because I'm about to buy a new computer. So yeah, well, this one's like a busted piece of shit. I can't believe it still works to talk to you.
Yeah, but that's cool though.
Yeah, yeah, it's a piece.
Every week that this thing is gonna just die. But then just starting on my phone phone. Yeah, and it will probably sound better.
Truthfully, that's so cool though. If we talked on my phone, then I would be able to sit outside and smoke cigarettes the whole time, and that would be so much better than being in my home office where I can't smoke cigarettes because of the snakes.
Why can't? Oh?
Really?
Is that why? Or just the spill? You don't want this?
I really just don't like to. Yeah, that as the real reason.
But I don't.
I honestly don't like to smoke around my pets if I kind of avoid it. I just feel bad blown smoking their face, all my pets, cats, dogs, snakes, whatever, even the fucking even my wife.
I don't wanna what.
Uh, I don't wanna, She's my property.
I don't want to touch on anything you don't want you're not ready to yet. But was there any desire to get them high before?
Who? My dog?
Yeah?
Oh yeah, we get them high all the time.
Oh I didn't know he did? Okay?
Oh yeah, like that's different. That's not blowing cigarettes, smoking his face from fucking Philip Morris.
Sure you don't want to get through his fucking TPS reports at work today?
Right? Yeah? But a little little fucking magical ganja sprinkled dust from the fucking marijuana fairy known as fucking Jamal Webster.
Okay, that feels racist.
I don't know.
I did. Dude, his name is on the fucking door. He's employee of the month.
All right, patrion dot Com Worst Friend Cast, we're gonna wrap this one up. Uh fuck. I hope my levels are good on this. I'm gonna lose my mind if they're not.
Oh yeah, I heard you the whole time.
Good all right for your worst friend. I'm met.
I'm honestly just trying to keep my friend. Don't leave me.
Thanks for listening. We'll see you next week.
No, I don't. I don't. I don't want to use a friend.
Fuck you, you know, all us all cru No, you know I'm really gonna miss your god when
The show's over.