Ep. 226 How It's Made

Let me finish. This is the first time I committed a hate crime. Maybe they'll jerk my dick off or you know, like something like that. Yeah, probably we've disgusted. I'm associate Bath.

You're thrested my ship do any trash ship? You're worst friend? Do you want to know why you're all fucked up?

Just look at the fucking problems you hang around with.

Okay, I think i'm recording this. Wow, I see the little timer going. Oh and it's racking up killo bites. We gotta go, We gotta go, We gotta go.

You're listening Worst Friend with Shane and Matt. I'm Matt and I'm joined today by my friend in co is the killobyte eater himself, Shane.

Yo. Not only am I a kilopbrite eater, I'm a cheese barger eater.

Oh I thought you were a pedophile.

They well, that's what they call it, kids. Pussy is a cheeseburger.

Go to your Worst Friend dot com, follow us everywhere on Twitter and Instagram at worst Friend Cast, Patreon dot com, slash worst friend Cast. You get a bonus episode every week and access to everything ever recorded, entirely commercial free. It is so weird. I am recording with earbuds in and not my giant studio headphones because I can hear what my voice sounds like. It doesn't feel real to me. I have want to just put these over my head just to like whatever.

Oh like, rap them around your ear.

I love, I Love, I Love. By the way, folks, if this sounds as good as it normally does, it means the experiment did not work. We are trying to do a recording on Shane's side of the computer and on my side of the computer, and then I'll slave away here and match it up so it sounds like a normal conversation.

I'm recording at two and a half time speed.

That would fuck me so hard, that would fucking destroy me. But uh so, yeah, if it sounds better, maybe we'll do this from now on. But as we did it, it started it lets you know how many megabytes and kilobytes and everything you're racking up, and Shane has how old is that computer? Oh? That was the other point we do this. I go, hey, I want this to sound really good. In the first thing you do is she on the fucking cheeseburger in your mouth?

Well, it's an experiment. We're testing the audio at this new setup. I want to really it's like the Forward Raptor. You know, how they built that truck.

No, tell me how they built the Ford Raptor. Hold on, hold on, wait a minute, tell me how they.

Built the Forward. Oh dude, they just took the best Ford truck and then they just drove it and you know, like in an off roading type situation, until it broke somewhere, and then they like reinforced that spot, and then they drove it and broke it somewhere else, and then they reinforced that spot, and they just kept making like this super duper powerful, you know, like durable truck. And that's the Ford Raptor. And that's what I'm gonna do with

Next time, don't eat cheeseburger. We'll try chicken wings instead. Oh, next time, don't say that word. That'll get us canceled.

Yeah, okay, right, next time, bring a drink to go with your truth. My mouth going through terrible.

Speaking of eating, we're recruiting this earlier in the day too. I was finishing up work or I had work finishing up, and it was almost it was like four ten. I was like, let me run up the road real quick to seven eleven, okay, and grab a couple of diet cokes Coke zero obviously, and then as I'm walking out, I'm like, you know what, let me get some of those little fucking boneless chicken things, you know.

No at seven eleven. Yeah, oh but dude, they failed the health inspection. Oh no, really the one here did. Yeah yeah. And I had just bought three of the taketos the day before, and then the next day they were closed for a whole week. So they got that rat situation story.

Now I can not top that. I can top that because I had it directly. So I go and sit in my car. I go, I eat this real quick, get home, finish up my work stuff, you know, let my manager know I'm signing off and then whatever. And I'm sitting there. I eat in my car and it comes with maybe like eight of those you know, boneless chicken wings or whatever, and I scrape them off of the wooden you know whatever thing, right, yeah.

Yeah, and there's like splinters left in the meat afterwards.

Splinters would have been better. I open a little pack in a ranch, and I'm dipping the chicken into the pack at a ranch. Okay, you know there's little cups. Yeah, yeah, good, One down, two down, three down. These will be able to film me up. It's all I've eaten today. I'm fine with that though, Like I'm not real hungry.

You've adjusted your portion sizes.

I get to the very end of it, and I go, did I drop a piece of chicken in this ranch? Why is there a solid in this ranch? I o it come on checked on the outside of it to make sure I didn't get blue cheese.

So there's something. There's an object in the ranch.

I believe when you're referring to something like kumbuka or kombucha, however, you would say that it's called a mother. So what happened was in the bottom of the h in the bottom of my ranch container, something had happened, I guess through old age or maybe cancer, where on the bottom of it formed a slick, thick, gooey jelly layer.

Oh okay, like when the fat dried right on a pan.

We should we should We're not actually gonna pulse, but we should just pause and let you finish eating or I'll go into another. I'm sorry when the fat drives on the pan. No, you ever leave milk in the bottom of a cup and someone forgets about.

It for a week? Yeah? That, oh man? And you tryumph and you didn't notice any off blade out.

Until the very no, which actually gives me hope. Maybe it was just the start of botulism.

Oh man. It's like how they do like that survival meat shit. You know, like if you find uh an animal with like its thigh ripped open and the outside of the meat is rotten, you could just cut that off and the meat underneath is probably okay because it rots from the outside in. Okay, unless it's really fucking old, you know, right, because then so that that's then it would have that ship inside is clean.

Yeah, I still I wouldn't prefer it, but go ahead.

Sorry, but yeah, I think you're I think you're You're on a similar track there where it's like, as long as you don't break that layer, as long as you don't get into that nasty putrefied section, you should be all right.

I did not even are you feeling, you know, my stomach's turned in a little. But it could be the fucking uh placebo effect. I guess I don't know. Maybe all this chewing between that and the fucking burrito?

Oh did I ever?

I did? I told you the resolution on the burrita. Right. They refunded me for what I already did, and they gave me a forty dollars gift card, which is weird. Give me a ship twenty five dollars or fifty dollars gift card that irks my OCD a little bit.

Yeah, I don't like increments of twenty, but maybe the the Jewish bank that they go through doesn't do five dollars payments, only twenties.

They only do singles and the most you can get out is forty bills at a time. Right, No, what do you need more for bogging it down?

They're trying to get you to bargain them down.

Uh yeah, So I'm hoping I don't get sick from that. That would be a real fucking man.

You just pray you don't get sick whatever I'm sick with. Man, I'm still sick for two fucking weeks blowing out yellow shit out of my fucking note.

Now, you said you said you thought it was COVID, Did you actually test or did it just feel like when you had COVID the first time.

I felt very similar to COVID where I couldn't taste everything was dry, like my nose and my mouth and my throat, and then I couldn't get anything to come out of my sinuses when I would blow my nose.

Maybe I don't know, Maybe it's COVID, long cold something. I don't know. Long covid isn't that like when your knees go backwards six months afterwards.

I think it's where like you're you're a baby.

I know, I don't I think long cove. I thought long COVID was specific conditions carrying on like.

It is, okay, yeah, you're right, but I don't And I also read that even and it's not can't be proven yet, but it's HYPOTHESI that those symptoms are going to be life long, which I was like fuck that, you know, like really like that's who wants to be sick for their entire life? How that's got to be the worst thing. I can imagine.

Which one of the ones is it? Though I don't, it's not all of them.

What it means like what symptoms?

Yeah, like like loss of weird, loss of taste was one that people were having for a while.

Yeah, I know that, but but the the bad symptoms. Okay, So what they're finding is that that people will get if you develop this thing called chronic fatigue syndrome. I think it is after the fact, after you've already had COVID. That's when they're predicting like, oh shit, it might be lifelong because they're thinking like it's some sort of autoimmune thing where you're the COVID is triggering this other syndrome, this other thing that's already we already have a diagnosis

I haven't felt that way since I was a kid.

It's it's only been since I've been an adult, at like a late adult. So in my mid early and mid twenties, yeah, I slept overslept all the time. I had a really bad sleep schedule and I slept late. But yeah, now it's like at four am every day, I'm like, it's time to do everything, you know, before my house burns down, or before my wife leaves me, before my dad dies.

Uh yeah, did you just just almost recounted my entire life, house burned down, anxiety waiting on jem, I guess all.

My anxiety is rooted and be becoming.

My greatest fear is becoming you. That's really well.

Oh man, go ahead, I was gonna say about the well, what were you going to say? You got something coming on now I was gonna read.

I was gonna read something, but tell me what you're saying first, and then I can move into.

Well about the anxiety I saw up to yesterday or not up to inside out to yeah, the other really sad.

Honestly, I haven't seen a Pixar movie since. I've never seen up all the way through, which it.

Looks so good.

You know what it was. I wasn't as intelligent narrative wise as I am today, and Wally Board the shit out of me. Oh man, going back, I think i'd really enjoy it.

But oh yeah, it's so good. Yeah, you would enjoy it.

I saw that in theaters though with other people, like like a group of my friends. I think, in fact, it might have been Nick and Robin. I don't know for sure, and they're idiots. They're really well. Nick's okay, but she's a real dumb gunt.

I didn't good. Was that robot? Like R two D two? Shut up, Robin?

What happened to the Yankees in the future? Shut up, you idiot?

Yeah, she was a big Yanks fan anyway. Yeah, so you don't really like the Pixar movie or you haven't seen a lot of them.

Yeah, you haven't seen a lot of the new ones. Yeah, you know, ever since they went woke, Sorry, go ahead, just kidding.

Well, a lot of the new ones aren't as good as the older ones because Disney has been having more and more of an influence, you know. They they'd basically taken over the entire everything but inside out one I remember being just incredibly intelligent. It's a simplistic version of like emotions and stuff. But they's got such a good message for kid. It's especially where it's like the whole the whole idea of the movie is like you can't be happy all the time.

Just cut your deck. I'm just kidding, but yeah, the people that haven't seen it, it's it's little they're they're literally emotions in what a little boy girl I don't.

Know, girl kid, Yeah, like a like a ten year old girl or a nine year old girl. Yeah, And so it's like her happiness, her fear, her disgust, very like the most simple emotions. I think that's from the psycho analytics school. Maybe it's like the old school thinking.

Are they are they a trying to free the monster from the closet, which is her uncle's hand sliding dude.

That's funny because in the in the second one, there's a vault in her mind where they're where they've got her deep dark secret, and it's just like this big dark presence.

She's just like, I don't like black people. She's like, they see them, they make me nervous. The crime rate in major city and it's like, oh my god.

I hadn't thought about that. Do you know how.

Any people would rush out if Disney just went, hey, we don't do that woke shit anymore. And they did that for like six months, and then six months later they're like, we really care about the you know, all the woke stuff. I just use woke, but you know what I mean.

And then just where they shoot all these butt like hands.

You could have remember last week my idea of white people edits for rap songs.

Yeah, okay, right version.

We just have political versions of these things, where in one, at the end, the girl realizes she needs to transition and all of her emotions transition as well, and she becomes a full bodied woman. And then the other one, she shoots a Puerto Rican guy on her porch who was delivering an Amazon package, and she successfully argues her way out of court that it was self defense.

Who's that?

Those are the two versions we would do?

Oh those are just But who's the second one?

Based on conservatives?

Just to any concerns, just gun to like.

It was on my porch. It's like, ye myself, I was dropping off Amazon bit you go. Yeah, yeah Italians. No, I think there was a little Russian in there. He was supposed to be a Mexican so not good.

Yeah, it's a big wave of Russians immigrating. They're they're sneaking into our country through Mexico.

The Russians are my favorite tagline now is of military age. That's how they let you know. It's not uh, it's not women and kids coming over. It's young men of military age. That really scares me.

Yeah what else I'm meant too? Yeah, I guess they're coming to wage war because the cartel would have to be idiots to strap a bunch of fucking military aged males with a bunch of narcotics to the heavily enforced border wars.

Right, No, they don't really use drugs anymore. We talked about this or a couple of years. I know, I know they they're making a lot of their money from human trafficking.

Now right, Yeah, we talked about that, Okay, But I was just I was just pointing out that all these military aged males like they must have a real plan. Since they're not smuggling drugs, they must be coming here to rape our women and burn down our capital.

I don't want to do the conspiracy thing, boy, but let me finish the next half of this ridiculous statement. Ready, it's gonna seem incongruous, which is a word I learned from the movie The Accountant, which is about a retarded guy who's also shoots up all the bad guys. I love that.

That's a good popcorn movie.

He couldn't have more food in his mouth right now, just I can watch and jam it in as I don't want you to think it's a weird conspiracy theory. But doctor phil On Joe Rogan showed an interesting map overlay of where the Chinese are buying farmland in relation to military bases, and then we have a lot of there's something like the biggest influx of Chinese immigrants we've ever had come across the border in the last two years or eighteen months, something like that, and we're constantly

Could Hell, yeah, dude, that's a fuck you.

Uh, I want to I want to read something.

Oh anyway, go ahead?

Inside Out too, Yeah, oh wait, that's.

That's the point of my thing was so inside Out one had a good message. It was really smart, it was really emotional. It really like kind of just digs at you a lot like that movie Up second movie, very smart, even smarter than the first one. It's really cool. Like the girl goes through puberty and then all these new emotions essentially just take over her mind. So anxiety and like malaise and embarrassment and all these new characters take over.

Are the old ones still there? Like did they just yeah?

They just get they they get ejected to the back of her minders or like they get Oh no, they get locked in that vault. That's what I was going to say first, So I kept thinking, like so that the vault monster, like they the things in the vault are repressed memories. So there's the Deep Dark Secret, which is like a big black specter, and then there's her crush, which is like a video game character. And then there's the fact that she still likes a Blues Clues style show.

Wait a minute, Wait a minute. So, like, isn't Lewis black and that he plays like anger or rage or something?

Yeah, okay, he plays anger, So at one point.

He's locked in the vault.

Yeah. Anger.

The new guys get locked in the vault, or the old guys get locked in. Sorry, go ahead one more time.

The old characters so joy, anger discussed not anxiety. The couple other ones they get locked in the repressed memories vault with the deep dark secrets her crush.

So here's what I mean. Is the girl not feeling anger, Well, it's locked away.

Right, She's not. It's just feeling extreme anxiety and embarrassment and all these other puberies.

Here's what would be funny is if they all got locked away and we pull out and the vault, just as lexapro across the top, right, and the whole thing was just an ad for you know, if if your anger's going off the fucking rails, take one of these pills. We'll lock that shit right up. Don't worry about it.

Nah, Okay, Lexapro done how with anger? It just helps with your fucking you know, so you don't feel like you're gonna have anger, you know what I'm saying. Like, I'm still angry, but now I just know before I'm gonna be angry, so I don't have to feel it anymore, and I put it away in my memory vault.

Are you are you on lexi Pro?

No, just at her all.

I'm on Lexapro.

I think my wife is too, made her a way better way cool.

I'm hoping to be a better wife too. Okay, all right, So what's so I'm thinking tell me about that.

I'm thinking that the Deep Dark Secret. He refuses to leave the vault and then the characters just leave him there, you know, so I'm thinking, like, oh shit, what's the Deep Dark Secret? You know, she got fingered? Someone fucked her butt, you know, like I you know, could be like that's what Pixar's up to.

But are you working it out in the theater mumbling with a whole bunch of children around you go, she get rapped or like she could fuck maybe just fucked in the mouth.

Maybe I'm saying that to my wife, but the kids probably hurt me.

Hey you didn't he yes?

Or what?

Okay? Good?

All this popcorn in my mouth?

You only talk when your mouth is full. That's your new rule? Uh inside out?

All right?

Are you gonna hey for people with kids listen to this, turn it off because I'm gonna have him tell me the ending.

So they go through the whole movie without going back to the Deep Dark Secret, and I felt like, oh yeah, if they don't come back to it, she definitely got raped. You know. It's just a little like little nod to like rape us everywhere, Like, hey, you're leaving this deep dark secret in there guys. But yeah, then there's a post credit scene all the way at the end and they release him and they're like, come on, tell us what it is, And it's something stupid.

She pissed and ship all over herself. One time on the way.

To school, she molested someone.

She uh what was Blandred just reminded me of this. Remember those two British kids who fucking kidnapped a child child?

Oh yeah, and they fucking beat the shit out of him and killed him and tortured him.

Yeah, and his asshole and down his throat and stuff. That's one. It's one of two stories like that that really like can choke me up if I really like readeep into it, because it's just so the other ones that I've told you about. That the little Brooklyn Jewish kid that his mother like rehearsed with him. He's like, I want to walk to school. I want to walk to school and she's like, okay. So they practice it every day. First left, you go to this, look at

Nah, he's more of like a martial arts Uh oh, Let's get our all our ammo guys and go practice shooting.

He's not he's not a sports kid. He's more uh oh, look at that little kid. Let's grab him and take him to the train tracks. I got batteries, don't worry.

About That's what I was gonna say.

It's eating.

How much food do you have a burger? So?

Uh you like imagine You're like, you have a kid who loves basketball and he like plays basketball every day, and you're like, okay, good, go on, go out there. You can get on the court with these other guys and you go play basketball. And he goes out there and one guy spikes the ball so hard in his face it breaks his neck and kills him. You'd be like, God, damn it.

What I'd be more up plays. He got taken by some guy in the middle of Brooklyn and not fucked but strangle to dead. Here, I got another one. I got a third one for you that I'll get you choked on.

I'd be the most upset though. If my kid was Orthodox Jewish.

So oh yeah, dude, he wouldn't be my kid. He'd ceased to be my kid.

Go ahead, tell me one that'll really make me happy.

In Shillah, only a Muslim in my house? Old okay? Anyway, so uh oh yeah, my friend Gary and I we were smoking weed one time, and I don't know why we got on the subject of true crime or whatever.

He's like, one time I heard a story about this guy who abducted an eleven month old baby out of a window and he raped it in the butt and then he jammed an axe in its head.

I was like, that's cool.

Gary. I feel like you, wait, when was that?

That happened years ago? But it just always stuck with me.

Was that when you were little with Gary? Was it in high school?

No? That was here when I worked at all. Oh okay, because we're smoking weed.

Because I feel like you've told me that before. You've never told me that on the show. I definitely have heard you say stook an axe in a baby's head. And then I was like, oh all right, uh we didn't mention Happy Pride month. Antonio Brown retired football player, not so much retired, but more kick that not even kicked out of the league. He's a nut. He lost his brain and decided, oh, I'll just go nuts. So every day he's nice enough to post for us his Cracker of the day. Let's see who todays is.

M I hope that hair I just ate and my burger was mine.

First time I gave the Cracker of the day, and well, there's a Homelander thing.

Homelander he's that guy from that chill.

Yeah, he's that guy from that chill. That's right, That's okay, all right. So anyway, Antonio Brown posted a new one for us today. It is not the Cracker of the day. It is the f slur of the day. He says that he and his mom on his love life, and he claims that his job has cost him several relationships.

Please welcome Robert Faggott. Me Faggot is rather an odd man.

Yeah, you know it, that's all.

They got away with a lot, and they.

Really did They really did well.

The next guess I used to say the INN word on The Jeffersons.

The next guest was Jimmy N word. Uh yeah, oh they did. I actually remember that episode with the fucking white neighbor saying the N word. Do you remember that.

I just remember Wheezy saying no please, you know, and I was like, wow, they can do that on Nickelodeon at night. Uh, show pussy.

I can't everything you. Anytime you text me about anything, I just put on my caveman haat and go, what would Shane go? And my response, I don't type it every time, but my response my head every time is just you're right, show pussy then, because I go, he would probably shout that at some one.

Uh Nickelodeon.

Uh let's see. I mean, I I got it, but I don't know. I don't know for our audience. Once is playing the fucking I don't know.

Yeah, that's just fine. Archie Bunker saying it.

No, let's just take turn saying it all right.

I get Archie Bunker.

And another one for Pride Month. Here, this is former Bachelorette star Josh Cider Cedars sitting, Oh I remember, do you actually did you ever watch those shows?

Yeah? I've watched a few seasons. It's not okay. It is. So there's some shows that are good and they're actually like, Okay, this is good trashy TV, like ninety Day Fiance is just entertaining that.

Ninety Day Fiance the earlier seasons that I had seen. I can't speak to it now, but yeah, one hundred percent, it's bad, but it's good bad.

Yeah, it's I mean, it's it's it's presented in a way where it's like, Okay, this is the best footage they got and it's all dramatic and they're you know, they got the best mental cases they could find. But The Bachelor is network TV, and it is like it's it's a whole different ballgame.

Man.

It's like it's it's the it's the difference between a show on CBS and a show on Spike TV.

You know.

It's like a show on CBS is always going to have like some cookie cutter ass shit, even when it tries to go hard. You know. So when they try to do risk a stuff, they have like overnight stays and all this shit, Like it's nothing compared to the reality TV that I grew up on. Like that I that I matured on Jersey Shore and stuff like that, you know. So on The Bachelor, it's only good for a couple episodes per season, and that's when they're like

Just I just I'm so happy that we connect and that we have similar careers and goals, and it's like, dude, did you even fuck yet?

You're gonna wait until the last oh, And that's always that's the only reason to stick around because the Bachelor, in evitably, well he can't help himself. At the end, he'll get the opportunity like to ask yeah, yeah, to ask two or three girls, like you want to spend the night with me? And the girls should know better, you know, they've seen every fucking episode. They know that, Like this guy is going to ask all the girls.

And have any of them trying to pull a threesome.

Not to my memory, but I've only seen a couple of seasons. Yeah, that would be cool, or.

You know, would be even cooler if the Bachelor Wuret tried to pull a threesome.

Oh yeah, that would be that would be good tv. That's more of a spot TV show.

But I would watch that. I will.

But uh, but it's always so funny to watch the girls get their heart broken when they find out he fucked all three of them. It's like he'll he'll pick the winner and then she'll be like, uh.

So, uh, I can't believe you picked me. You didn't pick another girl for an overnight sweet right.

You'd be like, actually I did. She'd be like what, She'll go fucking ballistic and stuff. That's the only redeeming quality about the end of the season. And it's great for the guys too, when the guys are the and when it's the Bachelorette, you know, because the guys are such fucking idiots too.

You know.

It's like, well, she asked me if I wanted to spend the night, and I'm pretty confident that she's not gonna be asking to heal the dudes if they won't spend the night. She always asks the other dudes if they want to spend the night. How do you think she's picking this motherfucker?

Yeah, whoever's got the biggest dick, right exactly. I'm pretty sure I'm the longest. But I don't know if she's talking about total mass because my girth ain't great. Right now, I'll just bet that's a confessional on the Bachelorette.

Like, if you pick it up, it's kind of just like a like a feather or you know, like a chicken drummet or something. But uh, you know, if you look at it all stretched out, it's like a flag.

It's like a pool noodle. It doesn't really have girth, a real skinny pool noodle. Puoll Noodle's bad analogy. I was just thinking of something long and light.

It's mostly air about volume.

Former Bachelorette star Josh Sider, who's transitioning to a woman, blasts his dates as transphobic.

Yo, okay, we knew this guy was good. Okay, so we fucking knew it.

That's oh my god. What I was going to ask you, is this a bit or is he is he gay?

Because he's.

When they use the term for trans people, what passing or whatever? This guy's not true trying dude, haircut, tattoos, Oliver's chest, hairy chest, He's wearing a dress and lipstick and nail pols.

That's it though, right, Yeah, he's not trying. Yeah, he's not trying to pass. He's trying to show us what a new man looks like. This is massive.

So you did seem to see this season.

I did see his season, yes, yes, okay, all right, now I did think he was gay.

I did interesting interesting, But did you think he was trans.

No, No, you never see that one coming, you know. Yeah, maybe that's why a lot of people think it's fake or whatever. But it's like you can see the sign like hmm. But maybe that's just weird because because no, because now that I think about it, maybe he did. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting signs, you know, because gay people really do have like a gayness about them, like a like a thing that is like, oh, that's gay.

Like the eyes, the gay eyes. She can tell by looking in a person's eyes if they're gay or not. It's a weird, witchy talent she has.

I believe that. And and just just gay guys in general have this thing about them. It's it's, uh, you know how they have like their expressions, they spill the tea, they have a kai kai they like that's like a that's a get together, like a chat. Uh. They they have all these there's like a community that trans people do seem kind of isolated from because the trans people

I mean maybe maybe, but I've absolutely.

Said gay guys are fun Envious gay guys you're like, hey, guys, you don't like you look so good.

Gay guys don't actually like women. They like fag hags, I mean f slur has, sure, but they.

Don't like actual straight They don't hang out with actual web All they.

Do is rip them apart afterwards. But so the envious thing, I don't think it's from like a sweet place.

Or okay, okay, that's fine, but that's the gay thing. That's the gay thing. This guy was different. This guy was genuinely about like, oh your hair, your makeup. Wow, I just I never seen like, oh wow, I'm just so impressed with how you present yourself, like focusing in on these little details that I, as a guy, probably

I guess for the people listening, we should play what he's actually saying in this and then we're talking about so this is whoever I said before talking about whatever I said before.

Hey, everyone, Sorry, I look like a hot mess today. I just wanted to vent a little bit. I feel like dates can be so cheap. The last couple of dates that I've gone on, I've expected the guy to pay, because I feel like the man should pay for the first day, and they just don't want to. And so I just had a date.

By the way, I don't know if you noticed, and I don't want to get off the track. He has a nine to eleven tattoo. It's covered up right now, but earlier on it's just like it's the the tower. No, no, no, it just says yeah, that's the weird part. It just says nine to eleven.

Oh one.

Like I guess in case he ever woke up and looked in the mirror and had to do a memento and he was like.

Who's it there?

When those pistol Muslims. There's those planes again.

Maybe oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, maybe that's the day his dog died.

That was a great curb your enthusiasm. He was talking to some guy and the guy's like, my brother died on nine to eleven. And Larry was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear that. And he goes, yeah, he was in West Hollywood, Florida and he was killed by a bus. And Larry debates with him. He goes, you can't really go around saying he was killed on nine to eleven. He goes, well, he was killed on the eleventh of September, and it was yeah, no, that doesn't count, and I would agree. Did you get that

Of because I Norm has that joke where he you know, how he sets you up for it. So he would he the line that the line would be, uh oh, it would be he would be talking about nine to eleven. He would introduce like, where where were you on nine to eleven? And then they would inevitably ask like where were you or do you remember where you were or something? And uh he would say, uh oh, yeah, I had to. I had to trudge through blood and bones to find

Yeah, yeah, it was good. Ice cream man outside. I don't know if he dude?

Is he selling drugs?

Let's watch.

And so I just had a date earlier this afternoon and I sat there when the bill came and finally I just said the guy should pay first, and kind of pushed it towards him, and he said, well, in that case, you should pay, And I just thought that is so rude. And I just don't understand what the issue is. I feel like everyone's trying to get something for free these days. Be a gentleman.

I just want to go on a date and get a free meal.

So if any of you are having the same experience, let me know.

Everyone.

But I could not disagree with you more. That guy's gay and he will not die trance. He will die a gay man. He will change his mind.

It is it.

Maybe there's a portion of it.

He's just grew up repressed, you know, and he's confused, But could be he's still still like his mannerisms were not gay, they were like repressed.

You know, I see the tattoos are more repressed to me than the mannerisms and the personality. Well, he's acting ways, but he's also he's also a massive attention whore. He went on a TV show to be cucked out by twenty nine other dudes, or however many guys are on that show.

No wonder he didn't care that. She asked the two other.

Guys, I'll go on the last day. I'd like to go in third.

Yeah, and don't shower.

Clean you with my tongue. Fucking No, this guy's gay. It's trendy at the moment to claim to be trans when when they I don't know it really. Look, I'm not saying I don't think.

I mean if you're saying, if you're saying it's if you're saying he is wrong about being trans, then I would say, then it's got to be because he's confused. But I don't think he would just be like, oh, I'm just gonna I'm gonna be trans because that'll get me more. Like, you know, I think that is.

Not think that's possible whatsoever.

I do think it's possible. I just don't think he would be going out on dates and stuff to to well further that, baby fair.

There's no evidence of I mean I watched You're not gonna like that watch some religious video that made a really really good point just about the difference between evidence and this and that and whatever.

Oh sure, I didn't see any evidence that he actually went on it day.

We have no idea he could just be I mean, you know, we know the agent of one of the fucking old Bachelor Bachelorette people, Paul is one of their agents, and Paul's a scumbag, Like you know, I want to put it past him to be like, hey, won't you just go out there and suck a cock on film and we'll push you as gay for six months and then we'll.

Come back around. It absolutely could be a thing, but I just, uh, it just doesn't. It just seems like if you're already sexually confused or whatever, you're already like coming out, it seems like it would be just more complicated to just throw on unnecessary shit just for like, you know, it seems.

Like, remember, likes are his currency, you know, Okay, Likes theer's currency, either either emotionally or actually like Sar's currency if he's making money on any kind of endorsement things. Again, like that guy Paul.

People fake sicknesses. They yeah, it's entirely.

I am just saying my personal if six months from now, if three years from now, this guy comes out and guys, I wasn't trans, it was turned out, I was just gay. I'm de transition or fuck. If you know, the winds change and more progressive stuff isn't necessarily the hot thing, and maybe more traditional conservative bullshit is the quote unquote hot thing. This guy might come around wearing that same dress and go, you know, we got to close the fucking borders. I want Trump for a third term. Like

We need some new log cabin Republicans.

Uh, let's put it this way. You and I wouldn't come on here and turn this into the trans hour. Two trans buddies just chatting, and if Spotify came in and gave us a Joe Rogan deal, this would be a video podcast. I'd be blowing you right now, Like you know, there's there's limits to you know. I I would stand on my principles and say, there's no fucking way I'm gonna take two hundred million dollars from Spotify

Imagine if that's all Joe wanted.

The CEO of Spotify, you know what, I'll let you, like yeah, yeah, yeah. Rogan goes to the CEO of Spotify and goes, I'll let your license my you could take it. And he goes, well, how much do you want? We have two hundred million stored like save for a big acquisition. I really just want you to suck my dick.

Ye, no, no, you misunderstand the what we.

Have money we wanted to give you. We want to purchase your show. He goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I just want my dick sock though, Like now.

Oh man, I could you misunderstood.

I could get my assistant to no, I want your mouth, okay, sorry, and he goes all right, sucks jog and stick. That's how it works. That's how Hollywood works. Maybe you don't get it because you're in Nevada. But let me explain to you how Hollywood works. Everyone's sucking everyone's dick.

Tell me about it from your and.

Everyone's being trans Okay, I've seen it.

On the news.

Oh dude, the news is fake. Didn't you hear about that?

I watch it on what is it? OA? R O A N O A N. Yeah, they told me Hollywood's full of pet of Well that one might be right. Actually they might have nailed that one, all right, So.

Dude, everything's full of pedophiles.

Dude, yeah, I bet. Here's my question? Why are there so many fucking pedophiles?

Maybe they're onto something?

What do you think? What do you actually think that? I think it's arrested development?

What you why you think the TV show is turning everyone into pedophile?

No? No, I think I think these people wouldn't maybe have become grown up pedophiles if not for something arresting their development when they're younger.

Isn't arrested development like an outdated concept? Like I mean, sure, it's like it can be applicable, but you you you don't mature as a monolith, you know, like you can mature in different areas at different rates. You know what I'm saying, so there can be people who are really good with money and business and all sorts of shit, and then their emotions and their interpersonal relationships are shit and vice versa. So I think it would probably be more people who are I think, and and I always

Might be looking too broadly or too narrow because what if people only stall at certain portions of their life. There are plenty of grown men who's still not any I would want to hang out with, who still play with action figures and do this and that because that was their comfort spot in life. That was after mom

The problem with this whole arrested development or theory is that they're there are people who, by all accounts, had to have perfectly normal upbringings and then are pedophile.

They have perfect normal from the outside.

We don't know how they No, I mean no, no, no, I'm talking no, I'm talking about self report and based on I'm talking about people who are studied in like serial killers and rapists and stuff. So sure, everybody in the guy's life that the interview could lie, and the guy could.

Lie and know you're you're the guy could lie. You just named some of the worst people, but not everybody else. I mean from the outside, meaning not even from outside of the house, you know whatever. I mean, the kid could look like he's having a perfect life, and he could be perceiving it in an entirely different way.

He could Okay, So you're making my point.

Okay, good, Yeah, but I don't think they point.

No, Well, the point I'm making is that that's how you know that genes play a role. That's how you know that your your your biological programming, but is responsible for a portion of it, because you have so many accounts of people living essentially the same life. So the only thing that is different about them is them. It's their perception of the events, it's their perceptions of the world, you know, it's their feelings. And that is your genes, your you are, you are your gene.

It was never I got to clarify this, and I'm not. I'm actually maybe it relates back to it. I never had any debate I don't think did I about genes versus environment. I think it could be.

Well, I mean we were just talking.

You said, is an outdated concept. I said, sure, you know, maybe it is always could be this, and then you went into explanation of the two. I just didn't want you to think I was saying one or the Yeah, it could be just a kid born with the worst shitty schizophrenia genes, or it could be a kid who had cigarettes put out on his tongue and you know.

I kind of got the idea that you were saying that there's so many bad parents and that that that.

That that sounds I thought, it sounds like you might need to go hug deonte. I made no implication of that whatsoever.

No, it sounded well, I'm just getting to how it sounded. It sounded like you were saying, like the reason that there is all these pedophiles, you know, like that all all these guys do this stuff is because of rampant arrested development, and then you extrapolate from there it's because of I mean, the stereotype, the bad, the bad. The old idea is like oh, crazy mom made it, made the kid crazy with it, crazy dad or whatever.

Sure, but not necessarily.

That's that's what I was getting for.

Okay, okay, yeah, well that I will clarify then and say, no, that that wasn't quite my implication. It could be, but it could be an issue. It's not blaming parents in that one, but that parents are a portion of it. Maybe they're not, you know, whatever.

They're part of the kids environment.

Absolutely, yeah, no, no, No, I wasn't blamed. I'm just wondering because it seems like there's percentage of people who are secretly pedophiles. I don't know. I want to know if it, I want to know truthfully who's self reporting is. Will never have an actual metric that close enough reflects how many there actually are. I would say.

That that that is a hard thing to get from self reporting. But that's the cool thing about statistics is you can infer information a lot of ways. So for instance, like I really like how they look at like rates of underported disorders, like because this is coming out more and more now because of gender studies. So for instance, there used to be a lot certain mental disorders that were almost exclusively given to men or women. It's like, oh,

How and how are we changing that? With this next generation? Kids are like playing more sports than they've The kids who actually are playing are like participating in four different sports throughout the year and blah blah blah blah. The stay active and the triathletes. Yeah yeah yeah, Also they need to be on on a roll and you got to get to a good lacrosse school and yeah, you're right, we're we're going to be black, we're or Native American we are, or trans We are melting their brains. And

Honestly, well yeah it's I mean still melting, but there's some left. But my my broader point was that we're understanding that a lot of normal behaviors, quotes, air quotes are fucking weird and dangerous so to ourselves and to others. So I think, actually, the number of pedophiles seriously is

I know it's dumb to say this, but the stock market people will go, well, it's been a terrible down year, yes, but over the last ten years we've quadrupled, you know, the value right exactly. Or you could go it's been a great year. You could say two thousand and one was a great year for the stocks. They went huge. No, you could, you could two thousand and one was a good year.

Twenty twenty and everything turned into shit again.

If you use a six month chart at June, you look great, and if you use a two year chart, it looks like we cratered and then started climbing. So, yes, I get that you can't write.

But so anyway, the point I was making is the real, real quick page of people who used to get diagnosed with it is like one or two, and now they're thinking it's double or like triple. So it could be like four to eight percent, and that's like, that's that's scary.

Percent of the male or mean at all.

Humans and would at some time in their life qualify as having a disorder like BPD, so borderline. So it doesn't mean you would have it for your whole life. Most people who have are these diagnoses go into remission. So it's like depression doesn't have to last your whole life. You can have three months of depression, you can have a year of depression or something, and then you can get better. Like you work on that stuff with your doctor, you know, like you figure that out.

You say, the amount of pedophiles are probably about the same percentage number wise of people with BPD.

So yeah, so do we think so I think I think.

Of the population or pedophiles.

I think that it could be I'm not honestly not kidding, terrified, No, I'm being serious. I'm being serious. Yeah, I mean you think about how often this stuff happens, and you think about how the people who do it are infiltrated in every facet of the world, the religion and government well.

Po like addition, it knows no no boundaries. It could be a rich kid could become a pedophile, or a poor kid, or a black kid or a Chinese kid.

It's the new weed.

It was weed was the end thing five years ago when we were legalizing stuff. Now it's just you know, pedophilia. That's what we call the slippery slope.

Yeah, I know, I know that's a high number, but I mean, fu dude. There's some cultures where they like they openly still marry kids, right, yeah, you know.

It's called the South Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, totally not and and then.

It's South Way, but they don't believe in marriage. They just fuck them.

And why do we tell you about the shithole country.

Let me tell you about shithole countries, folks. Go.

My president had a whole list of them. But now there's like there are literally cultures right now in an age where we have machines that can direct us on a walking path from California to New Jersey in a heartbeat, there are people simultaneously alive who think it's okay to have a baby girl get a wat of herbs sewed up into her pussy when she's five, and then on her wedding night when she's eleven, have it cut open by the Holy Man, and then have the entire town

So say it's one hundred and seventy five million. I'm just saying, adults, just pretend like it's split. I don't actually have any in America, excuse me, So about seventeen point seventeen and a half. Let's round it up.

To eighteen eight twenty million? Probably, yeah, probably just twenty.

Probably about twenty million pedophiles. So here's what I'm asking, just to jump it back twenty five minutes. Is there a chance that there are so many pedophiles because something is arresting their development from a younger age, maybe even just sexually. Is there a chance or is it just completely impossible? Absolutely, that's all I want it.

There's a chance.

All I want it.

I would just love to know what the I would love to know what the percentage is. That's what I'm always so fascinated in because with the disorders I was talking about, like schizophrenia, overwhelmingly genetic, Like ninety percent of all the accountability can be attributed to the genes. It's heritable, you know, your environment really doesn't play that much of a role in it. But other things it's more it's like right in the middle, it's like fifty to fifty.

I have a who would you rather fuck?

For you?

Oh, please let them be adults.

They are would you rather fuck oiler girl? Or hawk to a girl?

Hawk two?

Okay? Is there any reason?

Just because I like that meme of her going hawk to.

So uh Oiler's girl. By the way, I watched a it's so funny. I was talking like such a non hockey fan. I was telling telling Jen. Last night was Game seven of the Stanley Cup Playoffs or final files. It was the Edmonton Oilers Oilers Girl against the Florida Panthers. And here's the thing. The Florida Panthers went up three games to nothing in a best of seven and the Oilers climb their way back to make it three. For a while, I never watch hockey. I don't give a

Yeah, yeah, I saw that.

They're pretty good. They got pretty good jiggle to them.

Yeah.

So she put out a you know, a little let you know who I am. Afterwards, I think, what do I care?

She had.

Awesome tits and a real and acute white trash face. I'm not saying she's a tractor or even cute. It's saying like, if you were going to fuck a white trash girl, that's a good one.

If you were going to live in Iowa, that's a girl you'd want to have in your TWN.

You know who. Taryn Manning on Orange is the new Black. If she fixed her teeth, she's white trash fuckable.

Yeah, yeah, totally. Tarren Manning in real life. If she picked her teeth is white trash.

Suckableler's girl, Oiler's girl. Okay, she's self identified. Okay, Oiler's girl.

Actually my name is Kate. But here we are so long and hard. What I wanted to say to everybody. Anybody who knows me knows that I'm uh one of my favorite places right now, Uh.

Where your dad killed himself.

Just a week ago. He saw the video line got a snore, dad for those points of starts flippers. She goes, fuck you, dad. You I'm glad the rope broke and they couldn't put your body in the coffin. Yeah.

For those of you just watching or just listening, she's uh sorry, she's under a bridge. She's under a bridge in the most broken ass town. Yeah, dude, I heard there's parts of Canada that are just like you. You would get them confused with parts of Delaware, which you and get confused with parts of Virginia, which you get confused with parts of West Virginia.

You never watched. Sorry, you can save kittens. You've never watched Trailer Park Boys. Huh, good show. But it's Canadian?

Is it in Canada?

It's really stupid fun. It's like, get high and watch it. They're always just trying to find ways to like get hash and fucking drink beers and drive and stuff. It's cool sniff pussy, sniff pussies and such. But yeah, yeah, it's all white trash and that's all Canada. Let's see what.

Yeah, this looks like a lot of towns in Ohio and Kentucky.

Is my favorite place?

Got be good? Alright?

Actually my name is Kate, but uh, here we are. So it's all long and hard about what I wanted.

To say to everybody. Anybody should have wrote it down.

Just let me knows that I'm.

One of my favorite places right now.

Uh come here to do thinking we'll call it.

But what is she implying?

She's here to fucking smoke weed? Maybe I smoke weed or get her pussy eight or something.

Yeah, maybe maybe it's a sexual thing. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know what she was implying though, Okay.

Maybe she's just gonna maybe she's gonna just that's a thinking means talk to her dad.

Yeah, hey dad, I'm still disgusted by you.

Or I did be back tomorrow.

My favorite spot to thinking, we'll call it.

But it's one of you could be the most perfect, godly fucking person in the world. You could save kittens from a river if they were drowning. Someone's still gonna hate you, So you know what. At the end of the day, I got drunk and with my tips out of an oilers game and they went viral.

Fuck you if you don't like it.

Who go there's some guy up top and a picnic on that old bridge with his fucking new girlfriend, and she says fuck.

You, and then he and then what he's like, show me your tips, right?

No, Then he fucking grabs itr by the throat and he.

It's a oilless girl.

As he goes oilers girl, jut me all revved up, and the girl goes.

You better show me your brig not tonight.

You're not all right. Jesus Christ would you rather, So we got Oilers girl with the awesome cans or Hawk two week Girl. Now, Hawk two week Girl is someone I don't know where they interviewed her maybe, Oh yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, here's the original interview with her, because it's been cut and memed and it's very funny. But yeah, how many is on your roster?

There's only one?

I want?

I love you?

Whatever.

How do you get over a breakou?

Only way to get over one is get under another min com web off the.

Side, get the cob So she said, the only way to get over one is to get under another. Okay, funny line. And she said she wanted someone to knock the cob webs off this thing.

Okay, I think he's dusty.

Okay, I thought it was her asshole all right.

Other min com web off the sig.

What's one movement man that makes the mago crazy every time?

You got to give him that Hawk dude here?

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Right, guys like the Hawk too.

I say this is a pretty fair who would you rather fuck?

Yeah? I'm picking Hawk Tua obviously.

Okay, I'm gonna go with Oiler's girl. And here's why because she looks like she does anal.

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna go with howk it so she speaks.

The truth, but Hawk two is too sweet. Oilers girl looks like she's into consensual non consent?

You know I did? I did? What is up with white trash girls and that kind of thing? I don't like that? White trash girls are about like knives and spitting and hitting and punching and pulling, and it's like why environment Yeah, yeah, they've been arrested in their development.

You want to hear about CNC consensual non consent, make sure you check out all of my upcoming episodes of brand new faces coming to the Going Deeper Feed as so many of the girls I've been interviewing lately seem like they got something wrong, got got something wrong in their heads, maybe a.

Little week got something wrong. I We're not like, doubt it.

I why aren't you just into fake rape?

You're missing out? Guys, all right?

Follow us everywhere on Twitter and Instagram at worst friend Cast. Uh patreon dot com says worst Friendcast go to your Worst friend dot com.

Hashtag consensual non consent hashtag Matt and Shane don't know what they're missing.

You can't say Matt and Shane. You got to say Shane, and Matt and Shane are infinitely more successful than us.

Well, they don't know what they're missing either, unless they're in a consensual non consent for your friend of Matt, I'm Shane.

We're gonna miss you guys when the show's over.