Let me finish. This is the first time I committed a hate crime.
Maybe they'll jerk my dick off for it, you know, like something like that.
Yeah, probably we've disgusted. I'm associate Bath. You're present my ship.
Were any trash ship.
You're a worst friend.
The one to know why you're all fucked up. Just look at the fucking problems you hang around with.
You're listening to your Worst Friend with Shane and Matt. I'm Matt and I'm joined today by my friend and co host Shane.
Yo, fuckers, it's raw, Shane, I'm bad.
You actually do sound good. Maybe turn your speaker your headphones down just a little.
Bit, turn them down.
Just a tad like one click.
Okay, how's that?
Hello? Hello? It sounds good, sounds like I like I newtered you a little bit, which is nice, you know, m hm, tall quieter sh Go to Worst Friend Cast on Twitter and Instagram follow us there. Go to your Worst Friend dot com and man, I fucked it up. I fucked up my whole, my whole rhythm.
Ready, go to your Worst friend dot com. Go to pace dot com sas Worst Friend cast slash slash slash.
Right, all right, I got it, I got it ready Ready, Go to your Worst friend dot com follow us everywhere on Twitter and Instagram at worst friend Cast. Most importantly, go to patreon dot com Patreon dot com slash worst friend Cast. You get a bonus episode every week uh and access to everything ever recorded entirely commercial free. Cost
you a dollar a month. So even if you're just like, Hey, I'm gonna be in fucking ice road truck over the next month and I need a whole bunch of stuff to listen to, but I have a budget of one dollar fucking patreon dot com slash Worst friend Cast, you're listening to jerk offs. Just talk about bullshit?
Right, This ice trucker's got to stop every six hours and forage for berries and rotting deer meat.
What does he ice wagon?
Ear? Well, he's only got a dollar. He only has a dollar gonna eat on this fucking month long voyage across the Yukon?
Where is the Yukon? Can I ask that and not sound like a total retard?
It's the middle of Canada?
Is that what it is?
Yeah, it's a big old plot of shit.
Couldn't I could not have told you where the Yukon was how much of how much of Canada is going to be prime building territory when we start melting everything down?
Oh, none of it? Why not, because it's all full of trees and shit, Yeah.
We'll take those down. Everywhere was full of trees at one point.
Oh no, you can't take those trees. Why they don't belong to us? Those are Canadian trees.
I don't mean us. I mean when the developers come in after the world melts or whatever's happening right right, won't a lot of that snow and ice no longer be fucking, you know, a mess?
Maybe who knows. Maybe it'll be really cold.
Yeah, it'll probably be really cold, but it will be livable.
Maybe not. Maybe the water will turn into acid, or the air will turn into fire.
You're doing Terrence Howard math here. Oh dude, it's totally possible. Yeah I know, I know. Yeah.
The air turning into fire, it is. You just got to heat the atmosphere up enough and then it'll just ignite oxygen. Man, it's flammable.
No, I know, I know for sure. So you didn't do anything this week? Huh? Oh dude, Now I slept most of Saturday. I can't remember what I did Friday, and I induce shit Sat Sunday.
So you were a bomb.
It's a real piece of ship this weekend.
Yeah, well that's good. One of us has got to do it every weekend. I went up in my crawl space attic for the first time ever. It was scary.
But you don't have just a Are you a minimalist at all.
In a sense? But I'm not like I like to have stuff, but I mean, and I try to make do. I like to have luxury thing. I like to have the things I like, but I try to make do with necessities. You know. I don't want to have a bunch of canned goods. I don't want to have like an oversized space that I can't put stuff in. So I like to keep things minimal, but within reason. You know. I'm not one of those tiny house fuckers.
Minimal but chalked full of all the shit you like. Basically as long as I'm comfortable in the spaces. Yeah, in the spaces you designate can be full of stuff that I like. See, I don't have that I have. Do I like something? Yes? Can I throw it somewhere? Yes I can. It's fucking terrible, man, so when you said was you said addict or cross, I'm.
Sorry, Well it's both. I mean it's a it's an addict, but it's it's full of insulation and it's small. You gotta crawl around up there. I had to put a light fixture in the dining room, which is going to become my wife's horse shack, because we're moving the pole in there, because we never used the fucking dining room. You know, it's like it's literally just for Thanksgiving, and then on Thanksgiving we end up eating on the couch anyway, So.
Well that's where the TV is, right exactly.
Yeah, So who the fuck wants to eat in the dining room. So yeah, we're taking the dining room table. We're putting it in the old pole room, which is small, making the old dining room the new poleroom, which is big, and yeah, that'll be my wife's content space. So I put a light fixture in there. I had to go up in the attic to do it. I got all this fiberglass and insulation in my fucking shirt, in my shoes,
and my fucking mouth and eyes. The cat crawled up there, so I had to fetch the cat, and he scratched all this insulation and like flung it in my fucking eyes. Yeah, it was pretty cool. I felt really macho though after coming down and I was all itchy and I had five glass like shards and my eyeballs and my eyelashes, and my wife is like, oh my god, you look terrible, and I was like, yeah, but I did it.
You know, there so many people just don't understand how something like that feels like such a sense of accomplishment when you've had it done, Like when you when you finish it, it seems like, oh, this guy installed the light. Okay, you screw the light bulbin, it works now.
Or it wasn't just that guy, man, it was the whole fucking attachment with a wire.
That guy switched out the outlet, you know, just a basic outlet, the one fried took it out, put the screws in on either side, the grounding wire did put it back. Sound to hard it something even just basic, it's not. It's like three wires and you just you just hold them all together in one hand while you unscrew all the other shit.
After you ensure that the power to the room is on.
Yeah, well you gotta have the lights on this see don't Yeah, quick, you gotta make sure the wire is live.
How else you know it works?
So even that or something even more let's take it a step down, even more basic, just patching up a hole and dry wall, right. Yeah at the end though, when yeah, when you had too much to drink and you just started throwing fists around because the people you wanted to hit, you'd go to prison for it.
And get it. Yeah, it sucks not drinking anymore because now I don't really have a good excuse. I'm just a bad I guess.
Now you would just be physically assaulting your family. You would just be having domestic disturbances.
Oh no, No, I'm putting holes in walls, not in people.
Oh okay, so you're controlling yourself to some extent, right, Yeah, I.
Just imagine the wall is my family, and I just put holes in it.
But what, like I was saying, when you scrape that spack away and sand it down and whatever else, or even if you just install light fixture in the roof the ceiling. You know, I get it. I don't know
maybe other people don't. I get this, like immense sense of pride, and it's quick it's not long lasting, but it's like I did something, you know, I we don't have a lot of I think I'm not talking about politically, like the red pill and this and that, but a lot of these kids that are kind of pussies nowadays, I really feel like it's because they don't have any
of this kind of hands on experience. I'm not the guy that's like, you should you should work on your own truck, like I know that some people aren't fucking doing that. Some people aren't gonna, you know, fix the suspension by the way cars some people have cars. That's a good point too. Every time you click the mute, it's doing a little thing. So you know, I understand you're gonna have to hit your mute button. That's totally cool, but maybe try and reduce it as.
I'm gonna have this every time I scream, So it's a lot.
Yeah, are you about to smoke weed or no? Eventually, okay, tell me when you're going through that way. I'll talk longer that way.
You don't have to miss it takes two minutes for this fucker to cool.
Okay, cool, cool, cool. So anyway, I think kids are pussies nowadays, a lot of time.
Yeah, they are right. I don't know, man, I think kids have always been pussies, and I think a lot of old people are pussies too.
Yeah.
I think there's just always been a lot of pussies. What I will say about the sense of accomplishment thing, though, it does. Yeah, it doesn't have to just be like some traditionally manly action, right, you don't have to do the dry wall even, or fix a light switch. I feel like anytime you do anything that's just out of your normal daily routine of stuff you have to do, I get that same sense of accomplishment, Like anytime you
like accomplish a small anything. So for instance, oh shit, we've been meaning to call so and so the homeowners association and find out if we owe them any money because we haven't been opening our physical mail for the last two years. Let's let's check on that. And you do it and they're like, oh no, it's automatic payment, and you're like, oh, oh good. You know, it's like this the smallest little thing. Because I'm such a procrastinator,
it's like a second off the checklist. Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're checking something off the checklist on I just try to be better about that all the time. And I'm trying to be more of like a like I'm trying to do the yes man thing, you know, Jim Carrey, yes man, just say yes to stuff. So not everrible, but so for instance, things I would normally say no to, like the light fixture is something forever I was like,
I don't fuck with electrical I'm gonna get killed. But then I was just like, you know what, I'm just gonna do it. And I just did it. You know, that's the real sense of accomplishment. It's like, oh, I didn't even know I could do that, and I did it because it was like literally, like you said, three wires. But that's the important part, you know, that's not the point.
No, And I'm sure you looked it up online and did your research, and we're like, you know, I'm kind of You're right in a sense, I am kind of doing a ye I'm not a yes man thing. I'm just trying to stretch my boundaries like that. Circus the paranormal thing I went to, that's not something I go to. Yeah, okay, well that's rude. I got another thing coming up in July that maybe i'll talk about on the Patreon. But I did hear that. Jen listens to me talking on
the show, so maybe I won't. Oh, Hi Jen, No, no no no, she can hear me in the other room.
She can't.
Hi, Jen. Okay, now she hears you. She said, what's up, Yo, we'll talk? He said, what We went to the mall on Sunday. We did do something, and that's not something I would exactly. I don't go to the mall, you know where. I don't like going Target.
Yeah, targets, and Target's annoying because they have a lot of stuff I want to buy, but everything's too pricey.
That's my point. It's like it's almost like bougie Walmart is sense, right? I go I go to I go to Walmart. I'm not like buying the shirts that say like kiss me, I'm irish or any of that in fucking October for some reason.
Or you're just buying bullsh t shirt the band Yeah yeah, oh I got this one at Walmart.
Do you know how bad we would have got ripped up in high school if you had like a Michael Jackson shirt and some black hid issue where you bought that. Oh and you said Walmart, Yeah, Walmart to all, Yeah, we probably would have. Yeah. No, I don't know. I
don't know. I get the sense of a commishman thing. Yes, you're right, I'm not saying it's just manly stuff like you and I. Anytime we finish editing video or when I hit post for the episode every week, I feel like an immense like relief, almost like you don't have that stress and tension behind me that something needs to be done, you know.
But then like immediately afterwards, to feel instant anxiety because you haven't gotten millions of downloads and tons of positive feedback. Because that's how I feel. As soon as I finish the thing that I've been working on and I don't get immediate praise for it, I get very depressed.
No, I felt that way early on. Now I don't give a shit.
Uh.
The people who listen listen and like us, I hope you will spread this, you know, to other people, But I I I don't want to be those Oh we got a nice uh, we got a nice Yeah, we got a nice comment on one of our going Deeper interviews that I'll read for you on the air. Okay, But no, I don't I don't care anymore. I really don't. I kind of hope I get attacked by someone. Remember a few months ago when that guy left all those comments on all the Instagram stuff like do sucks you
guys suck? So I picture wife?
Okay? Yeah, and you made her into a pepper pig, different types of pigs actually she was in babe.
And all all types of different things. And then he immediately deleted all his blocked me. I check it from other accounts. They're not up there anymore, So.
That's fuck him.
I kind of I kind of want a challenge, Like I want to go back at someone. I've been so docile for so long, even this last wedding, where I should have been my normal get real drunk, you know, Alpha, the party cool guy. Everyone loves me. I had to dial it back because it was Blanchard's wedding. So yeah, man, he's lucky he didn't invite me. Man, I would have made a fun wedding. You would have. Oh you spent all that money, you didn't even have a fun wedding.
I could have helped with that. I don't know, could show sober Shane have helped with that?
Yeah, I dude, I would have broke something.
Brok Man, black and white. I don't know. Let me tell you. Wedding cakes kind of suck and fon dan, how do you say it, fond, Yeah, that stuff sucks to Yeah, it's just sugar, fucking tarp sugar, silly puddy.
Yeah, yeah, I I think cake can be good if it's done. But okay, al right, I would look hey, I'm trying. I'm not trying to judge.
Here, okay, all right, And I was making real big declarative statements like cake can be good if it's done right.
Well, dude, that's the thing is, like you said, Blander's wedding was bougie and you know, like upper class and this and that. So I'm assuming they sprung for a moist like succulent cake.
Dude, no cake in those events. He's moist or succulent. They just they all suck. When you have to make one that big, they were like a big I believe. I mean yeah, I think it was a standard like few tears. I didn't see it. They didn't do the traditional cut that we saw, like none of that.
I would have brought cake pops. I would have made it a fun wedding oh, you're right.
That would have been good cake pops. Hey, guys, I stopped at Starbucks and I got four hundred of these start handing them out.
Dude, I would not get him from Starbucks. They're a rip off. I would go to a horn like a like an Eastern European woman, and I'd have her do it. You know, any can it?
No?
I don't none whatsoever. Can I read this comment for you?
Is it mean or not?
I'm not gonna I'm not gonna screen share it. I'll just read it to you. It's on our interview with Arabella Raphael, Remember her?
I love her.
Yeah, she's great, She's awesome. She's awesome. Here's a comment from peg six oh six oh six. Okay, waste of a good interview. This guy needs to interview himself for two hours? Yeah, okay, all right. This validates some of the criticism I've heard in the past. Waste of a good interview. This guy's needs to interview himself for two hours because he can't stop talking and it's mostly shite. Had to turn it off after eighteen minutes when he started bringing up kids, dogs, et cetera.
Who brought up kids and dogs and what were we talking about about.
I don't know it. It must have been when we play sack.
Oh yeah, well, I mean that's just part of the that's the format.
I understand. This guy is a retard. That's why it doesn't bother me because I don't care what this guy thinks. It was shit. You know what I do care about. I care about the people who are on Patreon. And it sounds dumb. It's not just like, because do you give me money at the end of the day, you know you're getting them money on the Patreon. It's it's not even that like we're giving them proceed. It's expensive to run this. When you talk about equipment and programs,
you gotta buy in everything. I like that they were willing to go. I don't know if these guys are great, but here's a dollar, let's try it out. And most of them have stuck around the entire length of the show. So I think that that's awesome. Yeah, that's really really cool.
I think if we could just get like an army of them to gather behind us and put us in some position of power, then we'd be in business.
Well, the way Congress is right now, can I show you a video of an argument that happened the other day is just.
Like some boring shit in a fucking court room.
Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, I'm gonna show you just three minutes of c span if you would. I don't know what this fight was about, If I'm being honest, I don't know what the arrangement is. I don't know any of that shit. I don't know why they're up here gathering to talk about it. I don't know anything at all. Let me just hit play. Please make sure tell me you can hear this.
Yep?
Okay, cool. Three of the most hated members of Congress. You have Marjorie Taylor.
Green, uh huh.
You have AOC on her side. On the other side, she's.
The hottest one personally.
I actually think Lauren Bobert is, but AOC is probably number two for me. AOC can look real fucking dumb and mousey sometimes. Lauren bow Bird always looks like a prostitute. Always.
Oh yeah, but she's getting kind of she's kind of looking like maybe she should start running the brothel, you know, like maybe stop servicing clients. I mean, I'm not saying she looks horrible, but she It's politics, man, It really wears you the fuck out, and she looks like it's wearing her down.
Okay, maybe. And then the last one is I don't know what her name is, it's something Crockett. Davey's a African America. Yes, Davy Crockett. She's an African American woman, and she's famous for having these big fake eyelashes apparently. Okay, cool, So this happened in Congress with your tax dollars, folks, uh, and this is what the process is like.
I'd like to know if any of the Democrats on this committee are employing Judge Mershawn's daughter.
Please send me what it has to do with Mary Garland?
Is she a porn star? Oh Goldman, that's right, he's advising.
Okay, okay, the calm before the storm?
Do you do? You know what we're here for?
You know we're here.
I think we're getting a Z snapped coming up. And maybe a white lady from the South using a word she shouldn't.
She's not.
She looks it feels that way, right.
She looks like she's getting ready for a limp biscuit concert, like the part right before the breakdown break stuff.
You know, Hold on, here's here's the rude line. Apparently, Oh thank you Elon. This Twitter video is buffering Ellen.
Misk Ellen musk, Dude, this video is broken. I could send it to you on my on my tabletop computer. What I could send it to you a desktop? I know, I could send you my version.
This is broken.
All right?
I have a one more second.
I have a gift.
You don't have a gift. All right, here it is quiet.
If the Democrats on this committee are employing who's Judge Marshaon's daughter?
Uh so, Judge Murshawan is the guy proceeding over the Trump trial with Stormy Daniels, and his daughter is actually a Democratic fundraiser and like activist type of thing who gets hired by Democratic members of Congress. Generally that's what she does. So it's a little they're you know, the Republicans are trying to make the case that maybe this judge isn't necessarily impartial. I don't know. I can't speak to it. I don't know enough about it. Just that's why they're bringing it up.
Got it?
Do you know what we're here for?
You know we're here.
You're well, you don't want to talking about I think your.
Fake eyelashes are messing up orders. I don't always she pointed out her fake eyelashes. Now, I don't know. That is not exclusively a black thing, right, No.
My wife's got big fake eyelashes.
She's a fun as Yeah, and my wife's had them before too, So I they're not trying to paint it. I hope they're not trying to paint as race. That doesn't feel right just to me. I don't know. It's naughty and cunty.
Yeah. Yeah, they're saying, oh, you got big eyelashes like a whore.
I know. I think maybe it's just that her eyelashes.
Got a big, long eyelashes, like you suck guy's dick in an alleyway. Only gals with eyelashes like spiders would suck a man's penis under a bridge. You know that's you.
My mom had fake eyelashes when I was a kid.
Hey, dude, my wife's got him. Now.
I do have a point of order, and I would like to move to to take down Miss Green's words.
That is absolutely.
Parties over guys.
Yeah. Oh, also that is very.
Aoc very out dare you I know? Yeah?
No, no, no, no, no, it's very it's very uh feels very modern liberal to me. This black woman was just attacked. Let her defend herself. No, I'll step in here.
Yeah, let the Mexican handle it.
You head to the back of the bus. I'll take care of it. Don't worrying her words down?
What the hell is this girl? Oh?
Really, this is Congress. This seems like my son's after school program. I've never seen a PTA meeting that didn't end up in a fistfight. Come off this petty and fucking immature. It felt like, yeah.
Yeah, I don't even know what these bitches are even on about. It seems it seems like this is like some back room ship that is spilling it into the courtroom.
No, I understand it now. It's actually it's not backroom. It's front page, if you will. They're talking about Merrick Garland. Why I don't know. But she brings up the judge mrshaan thing to get a little pro Trump out there, like, oh who else is employing the judge's daughter? Or da da da da da, And the black girl goes the black girls like, uh, do you even know what we're talking about?
Bitch?
Some white cracker bitch and aoc' is like, oh, water just kind of beads off of your hair, blah blah blah whatever she said about.
Her eyelashes like a whore.
Uh. Marjorie Taylor Green said that, and then AOC's like, oh, white bitch, don't you talk to my sister that way. We from the hood and AOC or Marger Taylor Green. I haven't seen the full clip. She'll probably say the N word at some point. I don't know. She's got just basing it off of how she comes off.
I'm going to predict it now that she will. And Hey, this dude next to black chick with the eyelashes, yeah him? Does is it me? Or does he look like the of Kareem abdul Jabbar.
Uh yeah, I'll give you that. You know, quatto who's coming out of his chest? Yeah, yeah, tumor man. If if Kareem abdul Jabbar had a tumor man, it would be this guy.
If Kareem had a quato, he would be this guy. It would be find out everything you can about congressman. Quatto girl. We are gonna move and we're gonna tinue it.
Like, yeah, but she looks real frumpy.
I think she's good in her frumpy state.
I think she looks kind of just like any Spanish chick from the Bronx.
I think a lot of Spanish chicks from the Bronx look good. And mind you, I like trashy girls, man, trashy ethnic I.
Do too, but she's not very trashy here at all. She's more playing and boring.
Oh she's playing boring for sure, But she's from a trashy area and that makes her trash. She's always going to be trash born and bred.
I didn't think about that. That's a good point, Miss Green agrees to Strocker.
Oh my god, hold on, then, after, I'm not.
I don't like Margie Taylor Green. I really don't. I hate her religious ship, I hate her abortion ship, I hate her game whatever. I just don't like it. I don't like all the social stuff, okay, but I do like that she has her principles, as nutty as they might be, and she goes, you will not shake me from this platform. Okay. I'm not apologizing for it. Though I'm not apologizing. Make sure that's written down to motherfucker.
I see. I'm not above apologizing, So I either person I'm less on her side for that than I am against AOC for demanding a fucking apology for someone else, which is just such a fucking stupid, petty, like elementary school piece of shit thing to do like that. That's the kind of thing the nerd would do when the bully would get called out by the teacher, the nerd would be like, and you should apologize too. It's like, oh, you're gonna get fucked up when the bell rings, AOC
to watch her goddamn back. And honestly, apologies don't mean shit, Like who demands an apology? Like do you you think it's gonna mean something after you've demanded it.
You know what would be a crazy moment if Marjorie Taylor Green just goes, you know what, I am sorry, that was rude to me. I shouldn't have said that, and then that black girl goes, you know what, I apologize for things I've said in the past two Maybe we can meet up after this and try and come up with a bill that we can agree on to co author.
What a better world this would be.
Right, Marjorie Taylor Green's just like, nah, sorry, I don't write bills with you know.
I don't apologize to those people. Is that gingrich? I think it's a mister Komer, mister commer, Yeah I heard him.
Yeah, where about what mister chairman? I mean, would I watch it? Yeah? I absolutely would watch it. But what did are? What are we? Man? You know what? Yeah? Like, don't get me wrong, I think Lauren bober Todd. I think Marjorie Taylor Green looks terrible. She's got like a monster rockhead and she's like a bodybuilder, and it's weird. I don't like it at all.
You still want to see pussy though, right, I.
Would totally see her pussy if her and AOC were fighting for the heart of the country.
I think that's the thing about celebrity or just notoriety in general. It's like you always want to see the right. You don't have to except now exactly. You don't have to be attractive or anything. It's like, I'll look at Rosi o' donald's pussy, you know.
I'll see it just you're famous.
Yeah, but if if Rosi o' donald wasn't famous, I wouldn't see it.
In Less and Less, you went to high school with Rosio Donald, Oh yeah, if I did.
If I went to high school with her, then I'd have to see it because it's like, you know, or it's like is this a weird thing? It's kind of like taboo, but not really. It's like, you know, I know this chick, I gotta see your pussy.
Oh what if she was lived across the street from you, Oh that's even better. Yeah, then you got to see. So even if she wasn't famous, there are circumstances where you would want to look at Rosi o' donald's pussy.
Yeah. Yeah, Like, for instance, if she was the lady who sold you your coffee every morning and she was really friendly. Oh that's creepy, and she was always always making funny jokes about the about the other customers, but to you, she was really friend And and.
You found out that her ex boyfriend posted all these pictures on a revenge porn website.
Yeah yeah, and she told you exactly which one it was in the U.
R L because she because she trusted you.
Yeah, she trusted you, and she she knew you would never let and she she thought you were gonna help take it down.
Actually, yeah, you told her you know a guy that could get it taken down.
And then I just everywhere all over town.
You with QR codes. QR cod have posted post on every seven eleven the girl's actual information, where she lives to.
Here's the actual girl, here's her picture, her age, her address, and here's her pussy.
You create a you create a thousand Reddit accounts to create a subreddit, dedicate it just to her and the banner picture. You're just a pussy out.
Yeah, that's that's a that's a goal of mine.
Now, oh wait, there was one last step. You start conversing between the bot accounts. They're not actually boughts, though, you have to lug into each one, and then you eventually start a civil war over people who prefer the girl at the coffee shop with a shaved bush versus.
A full bush. But they're still both fat and disgusting, and they both lived across the street from me.
Yeah, ye exactly. Yeah, let's finish this. Hold on, let me take it back like five seconds apologizing.
Let's go. Come on, guys, why don't you debate me? Mister chairman, the minority you're not chair recognizes, mister Perry.
Okay, words to requests to strike.
It's just it's a lot, man, It's like this is really embarrassing. This is embarrassing for everyone involved, to.
Me, embarrassing for the three hundred and fifty million people watching it.
Yeah, they cannot take that.
Another motion to strike her words again.
But here's the correct the correct Partigster, do you ask you, Ama? Do you agree to Comber is fucking flustered.
I'm just so full of come right now, I repeat again for the second time my words. But I'm not apologized that objection. Is this mother Wiener? Who is that?
No?
Rasking looks like Anthony Wieners.
You got, mister rat skin, you got mistress Tom.
Crockett.
Oh, by the way, before we get to the shop.
Anytime a black woman starts a stating with I'm just curious, buckle up, buddy.
Yeah, here's the fun part.
Though.
As soon as I showed the picture, you're gonna be like, Oh, I fuck her, though, fuck her? You a thousand percent with this. I had to hear her.
Voice to know I'd fuck her. Okay, all right, she sounds like she should be serving me a blizzard.
Is an upside down? Yeah, it falls in your lap and she just quits.
Crockett, I'm just curious, just to better understand your ruling. If someone on this committee then starts talking about somebody's bleach blonde, bad built, butch body, that would not.
So she's referring to Marjorie Taylor's greens bad blonde, no blonde, bad built body or something butch butch through butcher in there, which.
Yeah, no, it seems like anted anti gender identity or whatever the fuck it is, anti gay would just be like, but I yeah, I feel like I was reading a Neil Stevenson book today actually from twelve years ago, and there's a part where a character just random eric. It's narration, so you're kind of reading the character's thoughts, but it's kind of still the author and the that it's like, oh, maybe she's a dyke, you know. And I was just like, oh,
you can't write that. You can't write that, as as the thoughts you get you're gonna get, Oh boy, I better not let anyone see it, you know. It just seems so nasty now to just say that, even though like it's still totally cool for me to do just like everyone else.
I feel like dyke has kind of survived a little bit through this whole thing, and that's because with the whole trans thing. Lesbians are just totally secondary now, no one gives a shit about them anymore. Yeah, yeah, well Jen's sister's a lesbian. That by the way, that I didn't want that to come off like chess. Do you remember early when we were doing this, we did that music show and we were talking to the guy who
had two retarded kids. Yeah, and you went, we went out of our way not to say anything offensive to like retarded people or whatever, and Shane Shane says, oh, you know, blah blah blah, it makes me go crazy, and the guy had to stop us and go, oh, oh, I don't really like the term crazy because it, you know, hurts I don't know, each brains or something. Yeah, and it almost felt like he was looking for that, you know, looking for something to pounce on. Dyke just kind of went by the wayside.
It felt like maybe I feel like I feel like Dike and Fag for me, at least, they were just like, ah, those two are I thought they were.
They Yeah, well that's fair, but I would I would agree though term wise, I put those two on the same level. But Fag has really had much better pr than Dyke. Yeah, because they're really working the ban fag and dyke is just like, eh, whatever, and I like a facular's flannel a fag.
It is such a a an underused item these days, like who gathers up a little bundle of sticks and uses it for kindling anymore? What the fucking mountaineers. But we still know what dykes are, right, We got them everywhere.
Yeah they were flannel and eat pussy.
Oh yeah, yeah. I thought they were like a bridge with water or a dam.
What now see see see man Crockett or something here. Let me let me let a place so you see a little bit over.
I think very good.
I make a motion to strike those don't I don't think that's a part of Oh my God said we're not gonna We're not going to do this like you guys earlier, literally just you voted to get look at calm down, calm.
Down, no, no, because this is white yell. Don't want mom down. Please tell me to calm down.
You'll control.
She's out, teacher, she's arrested.
Now, Yeah, you can't do that. That's a crime, right. Curse words in the government building.
Uh, I'm pretty sure they got a lot of those. January sixth, guys, with that one. They're standing on the lawn. But I think you said fuck and maybe the D word. Dyke.
I got this ripping down this barricade and charging through the doors. But once you crossed the threshold and said damn, it was over.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was embarrassing to me as far as Congress goes.
It was really embarrassing until that sexy black lady came in and saved the day.
Okay, yeah, so she put that white bitch in her place, right, Yeah, dude, I try to respect women's minds in their you know. Oh that's what.
I vision all this stuff, But man, like, when't they look like that? Like, God, damn, how am I going to look at anything but your fucking gorgeous flutter and eyelashes and your big, beautiful brown ass.
You went in a different direction than I did. I was going to say, I think what we have here is a case not of Republicans or Democrats being right or wrong, but we have a case of women in a place they should not be.
Oh maybe, or maybe maybe it's that or you got ugly women clapping back at sexy black women. I don't mean to make it racial, but you know, Marjorie Taylor Green is obviously jealous of this fucking chocolate goddess that has been elected to lifetime president of the Congress Cabinet.
I don't think now, No, I don't know.
I don't want to make her president please.
Yeah something like that.
Dude, when are we going to have a hot president? There's there hasn't even been one. People will say JFK. But I mean, who wants a guy with half a fucking skull?
Obomba? Obama was a handsome guy, dude for black dudes.
He was kind of a low on the on the list, you know, like he was not a He was not a fucking Wesley Snipes.
I disagree. I think. Look, I'm not gonna sit here and debate how handsome Obama was. If you if you tricked me down that road, I mean, we could just wrap the show now. But uh no, I think he was handsome. Yeah, everyone says JFK. Everyone was ugly back then. Our standards of beauty have changed and morphed and evolved over time.
Oh yeah, they're way better now, dude.
Like Marilyn Monroe was average by today's standards.
Oh yeah, you'd see her working at dairy queen with Miss Jackson.
There wasn't Miss Jackson, miss Crockett.
Actually, I bet you it was Miss Jackson Crockett.
At some point, something with a hyphen in it. All right, we got another video was the story. We just barely touched on it a couple of weeks ago, and it's starting to turn into a thing. They are coming for Diddy and they are going to kill him in a jail cell most likely, because yeah, they're really they're busting out all the stops. So he was married to Cassie. He dated Cassie Jaez.
She made that song Me and You. It was popular when I was in the Marines. I just know it because she's a sexy half black, half Filipino, which is awesome.
That's okay, very good, very good. He was dating her for a while. I guess he beat the shit out of her in a hotel.
Yeah, I heard he forced her like almost into a relationship after you know, like all this pressure and stuff. And then once she was dating him, like she was basically a prisoner. I don't know how much of her side versus his side is true, But let's look at the video and then we'll decide who to believe.
So here's why I do think they are coming for him in a sense, not some grand conspirat, but I think I think he's hard of something. Maybe it is a grand conspiracy. I think he's part of something, maybe a little bit bigger, it seems like, and he's gonna take the fall for something a lot of Jude. You know why I think that because this video was shot in twenty sixteen and it's just now coming out.
Right, Yeah, why why were they sitting on it so long?
Right? Right?
I even't seen it.
Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, that's why it's in the news. The video came out, nothing really to talk about.
Well, I mean, I was that one guy who beat up his girlfriend and then got fired from the movie. And then you were like, it didn't even really look like you beat her up that bad.
I don't know who was that which man?
Okay, I thought you're gonna say he played Kang.
He played Kang? Oh yeah, Jonathan masters right.
Yeah, you were like, oh, yeah, she she didn't even get hurt. She did it exactly, you know, And so maybe this will be like that is what I'm saying.
Okay, Okay, Maybe it's.
Because everyone made a big deal about that girl getting beat up in that video, but you were like, no, no, no, she was fine. So yeah, maybe something like that.
He got killed from Marvel for it. Yeah yeah, Okay, let's see.
Maybe this will be the Maybe they're crucifying Diddy for nothing. Maybe there's not a secret heaedophile ring of fucking gay rappers and Asian Blasian singers.
Obtained exclusively by CNN appears to the allegations of a running down the hall towl Sean Diddy comes the video.
He was really holding it one handed too at one point. Didn't I thought no, I thought we would be seeing Diddy Dick.
I was hoping for it.
Look at him. Yeah, he's running like in Is he wearing our shoes or some.
Like striped pink and green socks and a towel?
Oh shit, let's play the rest of this.
The video captured on OH shows Combs assaulting his Cassie Ventura in a hallway at a Los Angeles hotel in March twenty sixteen. A lawsuit filed by Ventura in November last year and settled the next day, reference actions that seemed to be.
Ever chivalrous of him. He did pick up both of her bags began to drag her back to the hotel room by her head. Yeah, well probably your sweatshirt, but her hair was probably wrapped up in that.
Yeah, it was. Yeah, he had a he did that thing you do when you're you like you coil the dog leash around your hand. He had a nice node.
Yeah. That's that's really how you get a grip on a fucking head that you're gonna drag.
Yeah, I mean it's it's just like it's it's hard to imagine what it must be like to be one of the most powerful people in the world, you know, because because you John mulaney has this bit about Mick Jagger right where he writes he writes an SNL skeets with Mick Jagger when Mick Jagger's hosting, and Mick Jagger has like a personal assistant who brings him diet coke
on command. So Mick Jagger's like diet coke and it just shows up, you know, and right, John Mulaney's like thinking a please would be nice, you know, but then he's like rationalizing, But you're Mick Jagger. Every day people have been kissing your ass, and when you say diet coke. It just shows up. It's like you just you just become this, you know, without ever realizing. It just becomes normal for you, And who knows what is normal for Diddy.
It's just like for a normal person watching it, the idea of like going up and grabbing anybody, not even a woman or your spouse by the head and then launching them across a hallway in public, like.
Yeah, yeah, well you're wearing a towel, yeah.
Yeah, and socks and stripe sucks, and you're one of the most recognizable people in the world. It's like it goes to show you how disconnected from actual reality someone like that is. Because like, if I was Ditty in this situation and I'm frantically trying to keep this person
from leaving. Once I'm out in the hallway, I'm fully aware of Fuck, there's gonna be cameras, there's gonna be people hearing everything that is said, everything that happens, and it's like all of that is informing how I behave right, But when you're Ditty and you're the most powerful person in the world, what do you care if someone has footage of you, like or if anybody sees you, like, you can just squash it, you can just make it disappear. It's it's only now that this is coming to light.
Yeah, oh yes, And and he did for eight years exactly.
Yeah, And that's that's like the kind of thing where it's like, man, I look at it, I'm like, what a piece of fucking shit. But I try to at least understand that this is a person who's who's basically living like a god. You know, he says and God is wrathful and jealous and all that shit from the Bible, you know, And that's exactly how he's acting like it like it's just a controlling, jealous maniac, very old testament. Did he right there?
I think that is a brilliant breakdown. Now, let me give you one other possible thing and then an alternate scenario that could have happened. I agree with you one hundred percent where he's not relatable as like a guy anymore. Right, But what if he does have the awareness of who he is at least, you know, maybe he doesn't say thank you to people, but maybe he does know when you walk in the hallway, you're likely gonna be on camera and whatever else. Maybe he was so white hot
mad that just fuck it, who gives a shit? And it makes me wonder if the fact that it was in a public hotel was in the back of his head and he did that, what would have happened if they were at his house or something. He might have killed her. That might be the kind of rage that a person gets that just I'm not even talking about like a revenge killing or whatever.
Oh no, it's like a would I would with.
Road rage stuff, Yeah, yeah, yeah, road rage stuff and everything.
Carriak down.
Sure, I've heard a great breakdown of why road rage is the way it is.
Right.
You might have told me this, I don't know, or maybe someone you listen to or watch might have told to do this. But it was such a great breakdown, just in the sense that in your normal life you don't have the anxiety around you, and you can kind of process relationships and process anger and this, and that most people can. Right when you're in a car, you are now surrounded by other two three four thousand pound
vehicles that could crush and kill you at any second. Right, sometimes you're doing that while doing eighty five on the highway, eighteen inches from a drop off to the median right
in the middle of the thing. You are dealing with a such such a tense situation every time you get in a car and you never even realize you tire could blow out, right, you could spin out, you could slip on ice, you could hydroplant, you do whatever that when someone does something to If somebody bumped their cart into you, you know, in the grocery store, you might be like, that guy's a deck boat whatever. I don't
care if somebody cuts you off on the highway. There are guys who lose their mind and just start firing guns out the fucking window.
Oh yeah, And it.
Doesn't justify it, but it does kind of explain maybe why there's that heightened sense that kind of predator shit we have in our heads, or the whatever food chain type stuff. When we used to worry about saber tooth tigers, Now you gotta worry about a you know, and f one fifty plowing into the side of you doing seventy or something through a red light. So when someone cuts you off, it's a little more like what the fuck was that man? Right, I don't know.
That's so it's like an adrenaline. It's a response to the adrenaline.
Uh yeah, probably, or the or the anxiety you know that comes along with it. Whether or not people think they have anxiety situations. All of us would be in certain situations hanging from a cliff, So it's gonna create anxiety for a lot of people. Not me. I'm a mountain climber. Okay, then fucking you know cartel guys hold.
Your head under for two hours?
Yeah, yeah, for two hours. All right, let's finish this Diddy clip.
Oh yeah, let's see what else he does.
Yeah, those scene in this video there is no audio. According to the complaint, Combs became extremely intoxicated.
Hey, I'll give him this in the face. He was extremely intoxicated, yet walked perfectly fine down that hallway, holding his towel up, and then held his towel up while grabbing two of her bags and dragging her beating up ass back to the room. I couldn't do that drunk.
So you're vouching for Diddy here? You think this is a doctor.
I'm ai just saying, let's see the rest of it. Let's see the rest of the story. Maybe the end of it is like, oh, by the way, Cassie gave him aids two days priory. Oh, then that's justified.
Ads. I'd punched her and tracking Yeah, me too.
Giving her a black eye. What's according to the lawsuits.
She should have took.
She took the elevator down.
He would have banging on the doors like damn, damn.
The doors would have opened, he would have dropped his towel. The would been two fucking old white people going onto his expensive ass floor with Diddy's dick just hanging out.
Dude, did he runs like RoboCop? Play this motherfucker?
He's extremely intoxicated. Apparently he looks like Robocopa. Can we not a drunk?
Yeah? I know, it's a fucking it's a golf cap run. Yes, you said it's a golfer's run. Dude, that's a guy running from a gator.
It's a guy with a fucking probably an eleven inch dick flopping around under a towel he's holding.
I don't believe Diddy has a big dick. I'll say maybe he's average, but I mean, I think fifty cent has a big dick. We're sure has a huge goddamn monster, But I don't know.
But I've heard the game has a huge dick.
He does, he does.
Yeah, okay, all right, good, let's play this video.
The hallway, The complaint says, as she exited, mister Colmbs awoke and began screaming at Miss Ventura. He followed her into the hallway of the hotel while yelling at her. The complaint goes on too yelling, he grabbed her and then took glass vases in the hallway and threw them at her. In the surveillance video, Combs can be seen grabbing Ventura and throwing her to the ground. As Ventura lies on the ground, Combs then kicks her twice and attempts to drag her on the le.
So he succeeded the hotel room.
You know, you know what's funny about this video, They absolutely CNN absolutely showed if you were to like sit and zoom it in. They showed as he stomping this girl on her legs. There's a big mirror behind him. I can't see it again. Would need to enhance it, drag it in there. They CNN absolutely showed his dick, whether they realize.
It or not. Yeah, we just need to get twelve k a thing and then we can enhance it enough to see the outline yeah bock you.
And attempts to her on the floor. Back to the hotel room, Ventura is seen picking up a hotel phone comb seems to walk back to the hotel room.
Or even just underwear.
That's what I was talking about, man, And she's not a real person anymore. He's just like living in.
A hotel room. He's just where Diddy is, right, Yeah, wherever Diddy is. That's the world where then and then everybody else is just underneath n PCs, non playable characters, all of them, every one of them. I thought the end stood for something else.
Back to the hotel room, then returns and appears to shove her in a corner. Moments later, he can be seen throwing an object in her direction. According to ventre As, now she looks like.
Yeah she was a real pretty there.
Really Now she's ruined.
Ruined, ruined forever. Yeah, man, I don't know. It's a I think that guy's going to be killed. You think, yeah, they're going to kill him.
Who do you think he's got dirt on.
A music industry? We don't. He might have been the Epstein of the music.
Well that's what that's what I'm thinking that's what it feels like based on that lawsuit where it's like he had all these gay sex slaves and stuff. He's like the r Kelly of music.
We what we really need? I so closely associate him with a rapist now that yeah music, Oh yeah, remix to Ignition is pretty solid, just the Rex. Yeah that's yeah. You ever hear it? Yeah?
Yeah, I have I have a ship. I have the space Jam soundtrack too.
Okay cool? Wow, why do my eyes look so Chinese?
Oh dude, it's because you smoked all that fucking cash.
Okay, cool.
We don't smoke weed anymore. We just smoke our own money.
Yeah, it's from all the great patrons. I appreciate it.
Well, we're not gonna put it back into the show. We got to keep the same level equality. We can't go improven.
Do you know what that means when you say we're not gonna put it back into the show. What that just means I pay you out half of anything we make. Oh, I would keep the full amount and put it back into the show if that was the case. Uh huh, So, actually you gave me the worst of the two options. Well, we're like, we don't put it back into the show. I get half as well.
No, no, no, Matt keeps all the money and then he smokes it.
Okay, all right, uh do you have Okay, who would you rather fuck? Laren Bobert or do you want to go AOC or the Crockett Lady Crockett.
I'm picking Crockett. I was thinking that I picked Zendeia or what's her dumb head, Cassie.
Cassie. Cassie's got all those black eyes. Yea, a very attractive.
Yeah, she might as well call her fucking black.
Okay, they go winners and losers, losers, Diddy, they're gonna find him in a fucking hotel room. He's gonna kill himself. Yeah, it won't be in prison, it won't be exactly like Epstein, but he'll kill himself.
Maybe no, maybe it'll be an accident, maybe his helicopter crash. And Iran hmmm, that's I don't know what story. What is I don't know the hierarchy of Iran? Fucking Oh dude, went important? No, dude, he's like six or seven steps below Sultan.
What do we do? Yeah? Is it like Ayatola is the top one?
Oh dude, I think, Uh, Genie is this is the top? All right?
All right, we were all wrap this one up.
Uh.
Follow us on Twitter and Instagram at worst friend Cast. Go to your Worst friend dot com see everything we're doing, including check out some of our merch.
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You can go to patreon dot com slash worst friend Cast. Uh. It's the sign up for that cost a dollar a month. You get a bonus episode every week and access to everything ever recorded entirely commercial free the Patreon Today, Ladies and Gentlemen, is gonna be arren toward math or I have a real fun time with that.
I'm excited for that. That sounds so fun because I like math. When you take the numbers and it's the reciprocal right, so it's like the opposite. It was like before I'm mad the number on the top and then there's the other number on the bottom. But then you do reciperal sin. Next likely you take the number from the botting branch at the top and they go botting and stop. So it's like they tell you to do a division problem. You can just do this reciprocal trick
and then do a multiplication problem. And then it's like, oh, I can do division. Just by doing multiplication. I don't remember exactly how to do it, but it was like maybe fourth grade, and I'm just I was like, yeah, I'm gonna hold onto that one because that's gonna get me through math probably for the next twelve years.
You know, I don't want to sound like a queer or nothing.
We'really going to miss you guys when the show's over.