Holiday overwhelm, Canadian Rage Index, tech tips

 I'm back.  She's here.  I'm so glad you guys didn't do any podcast while I was gone. I forgot to tell you. Brianna was here, she did great. 

 We talked about puffing your labia.  your labia? , there is a practice where they inject hyaluronic acid, like filler, into their labia majora. Oh. The people injecting it in their lips, what's the difference? Like their face lips.  Welcome back.  You didn't miss much. 

   📍 Let's get  📍 right to it. Welcome to your Weekly Breakdown, the silly and occasionally smart podcast. I'm Emily,  a washed up tech exec, mother of two, and I'm already feeling the holiday overwhelm.  I'm Caitlin, and I missed you last week, and we took the week off before, and let me tell you, I noticed it in my life.

Because every week we get together to chat about cultural conversations in the news. We make fun of the latest pop culture dramas, rant about life's minor inconveniences, we'll judge each other's style and life choices, and maybe we will even have a guest or two. It's coming 2025. Oh my god.  This podcast is brought to you by Hard Copy.

The free comfort newsletter for cozy weekends. Join the thousands of busy women who already subscribe to enjoy curated recommendations for what to watch, listen to, read, and indulge in and to stay in the know on all things culture, work, and women. I loved the newsletter last week by the way. Thank you. It was very big.

I didn't notice it was bigger. Really? I'm trying to aggregate, curate, and I don't want to send more than one email a week. The whole point is to reign it in, stop the doom scrolling, put it all in one place. I don't want to inundate people's inboxes. It winds up being a lot, but it's meant to be savored.

Yeah, and I would say it's like when you get a magazine that, right now I'm in the music section of it, and then I'll go listen to an album that you recommended. And then I'll go back to the newsletter.

I'm like, Oh, I am looking for a book and then I'll look at your recommendations. Yeah, that's what it's meant to be. I originally had started out the what is the blog as a magazine, but I can't produce  a magazine because I'm just me. So the newsletter is meant to have all those Components that we would get, some fashion, some culture, some music,  some current events you mentioned music.

Did you listen to the album I recommended by Soccer Mommy? I haven't listened to that one yet. It's really good. It's very reminiscent of our favorite 90s indie rocker chicks. It's very good.  You reminded me about Kendrick Lamar's new album. Ah, yes. And I went, oh yeah! I know. And then I it.

He just dropped it. So good. It is really good. It's really good. But also, He's good. He's an artiste. I noticed you're not wearing a hat today. feel naked. I love it.  I like see Do you also like my enormous zit on the side of my Really? Oh, that one?  It's a fucking  📍 crater.

  Holiday overwhelm. Let me fucking tell you. I was overwhelmed enough that I took a selfie on my Instagram and put a question up.

And asked , what do you do to manage the holiday overwhelm?   We just had US Thanksgiving.    People have been serving me up holiday content since November fuckin 1st, which I think is rude. I'm a December 1st person. I am too. I was just trick or treating, okay? Yes, weeks ago. I was just overwhelmed at sending the kids back to school in September. Like it was, it feels like yesterday. Whatever that old adage is the days are long but the years are short.

That is what I am experiencing. Right now the days are so long, but then I'm like it's I'm sorry. It's December. What?  so I put a question out there. I asked the people of the internet So I'm gonna go find it for you and read their answers because it was funny So you're feeling specifically burnout with or pre burnout or you're anticipating you're already tired.

What is it? Because I don't feel that yet,  I'm overwhelmed at all the things that need to be done.  Did we get the dog boarder for the holidays? Who's buying what for who? I have five grandparents for my children. 

When am I going to see my own friends over the next month? There's ballet recitals, there's musical theater recitals, there's hockey tournaments, there's school performances, when am I going to go to the gym? Yeah. There's the financial implications of the holidays,  I told the kids it was going to be a small Christmas, right? It's going to be a quiet Christmas. We'll still make it magical. And bless their little hearts. My daughter said, Oh, it's going to be magical anyway. We'll all be together. And then my son said, and we'll be on the farm which is always magical, , so it's okay. And I was like, Oh,  my God. And they're not wrong. Do you think it's having kids that's making it exponentially more stressful? Because it's not just two plane tickets home, it's four. Oh, my God. It's not just Oh, we have to meet with our friends. You're also like, Oh, my kids need presents. The grandparents need presents.

The family needs stuff. Yeah,  I wouldn't be shocked if we saw a whole bunch of hot takes over the next  two to three weeks um, from your favourite publications that you read, or even podcasts that you listen to where we talk about the pressure on moms. I do think there's one person in my house who wraps the gifts.

 I do think the burden falls to moms. Yeah. Growing up, my parents were pretty good at splitting it, but I know my mom took the lion's share of the extra step and organizing the family events and making sure every cousin had the present and making sure it was fair that's just where I feel the overwhelm. is non stop if I wasn't trying to build this business. I still think it would feel overwhelming. I'm just trying to pack it all in. 

So I asked a question on the interwebs.  I said, how do you manage your sanity, burnout, and overwhelm around the holidays?

And here were some of the answers. 

Last year, my chiropractor put these acupuncture pins in my ears so I could chill the fuck out.  And I was like, yeah, 10 recommend that. I think anywhere, any appointment where you have to just lay it down for 45 minutes to an hour.

That's a great thing to interject. Yeah, and there is a nice little pressure point in there. If you can't go to an acupuncturist, also just pull on your ears a little. It does feel good. One very organized person said, Lists with deadlines and try to review every week for what is realistic. We all try, but still.

 I bow down to an organized goddess.  Another friend said, baths and a glass of wine.

I can get down with that. Yes. A lot of people answered, I don't, which, when the question was how do you manage it? A lot of people said, I don't, I just don't. A lot of people answered weed or edibles. And I think I'm missing out. I think I need to get down with that. That sounds like a secret I'm just not in on.

We're illegal here in Canada. So that's cool. You got to be tricky though.  let's say you smoke some weed and next thing you have not done anything on your list.  So do it strategically. Another person said, Harry Potter and Lord of the Ring marathons.

Phone off. French fries and wine. And I'm gonna invite myself over to that person's house. I like that. That sounds really nice. Someone else said, Have no children or responsibilities and go to Thailand. Laugh my ass off. I'm so sorry. That was me. No, that was my friend Yuna. And you know what? I love that for her.

She's just smarter than I am.  I'm excited for her that she's going and living her best life . On a smaller scale, what I like to do is I like to take myself out for a date with no one else. You are very good at that.

Yeah. A book, a glass of wine, a small order of french fries and a bit of mayonnaise equity. Oui. And that's it. And I have my book, and I don't look at my, don't put your phone on the bar, keep that phone in your purse,  and read a book, and read a magazine and get another glass of wine when you go, oh, I should probably get back and do the things I have to do in life.

That's when you go, one more glass of wine, please.  I love that people are answering and giving hints, but also admitting nothing. There's nothing to do. Or nothing that can be done. Yeah, Brianna answered screaming into the abyss, and then in parenthesis my car. Which I do love a good car scream.

And then a couple women really helped me reframe. One said, focusing on quality time together. And that does not have to be on a specific date. So more around the season, which I thought was really great. And then my girlfriend, Joanna, she said, I lean into it, bring it on. I love the craziness around the holidays.

 My girlfriend Emma in Toronto said, I really focus on all the people I get to  cookies to bake and eat. yeah, give me the cookies. And she says, she stays laser focused on the break, like I on the prize. And so everybody handles it differently. What about you? How do you handle it? My favorite part about the holidays is the day between Christmas and New Year's.

That week is just the thing I love the most. I get so antsy! I am not good at doing nothing! I'm sitting here complaining about how much I have to do, but then I am really terrible. It just sucks.  I'm glad you've acknowledged that.  I love that time. For me, the tricky part is that I don't live near my family or my husband's family, so it  traveling.

what we like to do is, one year we'll be with my family for Christmas Day, and then we'll find Chris's family around the holidays. One year we'll be with Chris's family on Christmas Day, and we'll find my family somewhere around the holidays. And then one year, we don't go anywhere.  We see no family.

And I think that's okay sometimes to say, I love you, maybe we can play a trivia on the internet together, we'll connect somehow, but  I'm not going anywhere. I think that's wise. We put so much pressure on a specific holiday when the reality is if it's about, gratitude and love and giving and being with your family, that can be at any time.

  📍 we talk about a lot of different things, but I wanted to hit our listeners, our busy women, with fun facts. Because they're gonna go to a dinner party, and I want them to be able to feel empowered with knowledge. Yeah.

Good to go, and to be like, did you know? and throw out a conversation starter. So I have two fun facts today, and one weather related. Did you know that more snow has fallen in Hawaii than in New York City. so far this season? Are you serious? Yes. It snowed in Hawaii? Or has it just not snowed at all in New York?

 Many eastern states saw their first significant snowfall a couple weeks ago, while  across the nation a bomb cyclone, can we just call it a snowstorm?

Why do we need it to be a bomb cyclone, battered the Pacific Northwest. Hi, that's us. We got the rain. It was disgusting. And the wind. Although widespread amount of snow were reported, New York City saw none of it meanwhile, Hawaii's highest peaks have already recorded snowfall this season.

It's just  bananas.  There was a winter weather advisory for the big island in late October there.

That's the tallest peak in Hawaii. It's 14, 000 feet above sea level And they see snow sometimes during the summer months as well, but more snow than  I heard that, yeah, the East Coast has had no rain. No precipitation. It's been Are you kidding me? It's been raining three weeks straight in PEI.

Oh, I'm speaking of, I guess that east, that's funny. I said east coast. I'm referring to New York and Montreal. Okay. I know. I remember, I went to Dalhousie University. I'm not right. No, you're not.  Living in the West Coast, people will be like, Oh, I'm going to the East Coast, or I'm from the East Coast, and they're from a landlocked province, and I'm like, What are you talking about?

 Toronto is not the coast. Bless your heart. So then what do we call it? So it's West Coast, BC. Okay. Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, kind of prairies.  Then what do you say when you're from Toronto or Montreal? Okay, you're from there, so you should answer this question.

I'm not. I'm going to tell you it's not the East Coast. But I'm one of the people who say I'm from out East. Out East. Okay, how about that? I'm from out East. Out East is better. Okay. Because you just mean east. Huh. It is the eastern part of Canada. It certainly is. But it ain't a coast. No. A coast requires a body of water.

Yeah. When I first moved to Vancouver, this is so embarrassing, I I asked someone, what time zone are we in here?  And they're like, think about it. And I was like, I have. And that's why I'm asking you this fucking question.  I'm like what's the ocean that's here? And I was like, this isn't, I don't, I didn't ask for fucking trivia.

This is not a math test. Tell me what the time zone is. I'm like what's the ocean next to us? I was like, don't embarrass me.

My second fun fact, I'll get it out of the way. Yeah. For Gladiator 2,  the new Gladiator movie. Paul Mezcal wore the same breastplate as Russell Crowe did in the original film. The designers digitally scanned, customized the leather, and added a bunch of metallic embellishments to pull it off.

But I thought that was a really cool, fun fact. If people are talking about Gladiator, you can interject, even  movie.  Do you think they were just keeping it at the Hard Rock Cafe for a while? 

I think there's quite, I think there's some archivists who, those are blockbuster movies. I imagine the same with Wicked. The costumes from this film will be tucked away somewhere. Yes. Did you see it? No, I haven't seen it yet. I don't think I'm ready to.  You're not ready to weep? Exactly. Oh my god.

 Are we talking about Gladiator or Wicked? Because I'm going to cry at both. Okay, you'll cry at both. I'm going to cry at both. Yeah.  I haven't been to a movie in a while, but maybe that'll be the thing of holiday treats, right? You watched the original Gladiator. I sure did. I sent you a screen grab. I know, because I was like, that's my favorite movie. What did you think? I loved it. Yeah. I had seen it when it first came out. Okay. But only the one time. It still holds up. And then I re watched it and I was so happy.

It's the kind of movie, too, that it's a perfect bow of a movie. It gives you everything you want. It's so well done. It looks incredible. It's a great arc of a storyline, too. And also, Russell Crowe!  Meg Ryan cheated on Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe.

Good. I think Dennis Quaid's an absolute He's batshit crazy. All the quades are nuts. But all, but back in the day, he wasn't. Known to be. He wasn't known to be, yeah. He wasn't widely known to  Crowe, get it. Yeah. I remember when Brad Pitt cheated on Jennifer Aniston with Angelina Jolie, and I wasn't okay with that. 

Cheating on  Dennis Quaid with  Russell Crowe. I I supported I think at the time.  I get it.  Speaking of cheating, I've had some really funny dreams lately. Last night, Ryan Reynolds was in my dream, but it was super strange because  we went on a private jet somewhere 

blake Lively was there  and we,  Landed in an airport, like inside the airport, and had to go have dinner somewhere, specifically. And the night before that, I was giving two guys a handjob. At the same time? What do you think it means?  Okay.  Listeners at home, chime in what you think Emily's psyche is trying to tell her.

Jose just said multitasking queen and I feel like I was going to say maybe I'm just juggling a lot.  But yeah, what a specific not for my pleasure either, like it's super weird. Why was I giving two handies? I don't know. I think it's because you have a lot on your plate.

The only thing I want on my plate is  📍 pizza. Do you feel like you get enough sleep? No. No. A lot of people don't.  That's a problem. Hello? Yeah. But, there was an issue that I saw which is that there was a viral TikTok  That went out.

That's your source. This is the issue.  Is that these TikTokers called into question saying that the study that was done that we need seven hours of sleep was actually only done on men and was never really studied on women. Did you see this video? I haven't read that. I haven't seen the video, but I read that a little while ago, but that sounds right to me.

Most of the research that's been done to date in medicine have been on male. patients. Doesn't matter though. This TikToker doesn't know what she's talking about. Oh, she said us girlies need nine to 10 hours minimum. Nope. Not true. Really? Not true. Who's arguing? Who's telling the truth?

Scientists.  I knew a scientist who thought orange juice would cure the flu. So keep going. Okay. Multiple scientists then.  The thing that terrifies me about this is that someone made a TikTok video, it went viral and then everyone went, yeah, and didn't look into it at all.

That's what we do. That's what, that's how misinformation is spread. Yes.  We're trusting it now and then we're basing our life going, I knew I wasn't getting enough sleep. I knew it. So it is true that historically medical research has largely excluded women. True. Fact. And your sex can influence your likelihood of getting an accurate sleep disorder diagnosis.

Fact. People don't believe women as much. Fact. But experts are saying when it comes to sleep duration needs, the difference between men and women from night to night is minimal. It's not that big of a difference. So there was a study done called Gender and Time for Sleep Among U. S.

Adults. Great title. Written by Sarah Burgard and Jennifer A. Elishire. Do you know what won't go viral? That. That. That. And they were saying that the notion that women require more hours of sleep than men, it's completely untrue. I liked that it was, air quotes, true because then I didn't feel so bad about sleeping.

So much. the problem is with these sleep studies is that they're looking at how much sleep people are getting, not what they need, because that's harder to study. Sure. It captures how much  sleep. people say they get and not how much they need. Cause right now there's no good way to study that ladder.

There's no good way to study what do you need.  And then there was another idea circulating that again on TikTok  that women need more sleep because we use more of our brains, but that's not true. I did. I did read that. And you know what? I liked that confirmation bias. We like it, but it's inaccurate.

 Nicole Bindaian on TikTok, she claimed that women's brains are wired differently and that they need to multitask more, therefore requiring more sleep. Not true.   Now here's the truth. Women are nearly twice as likely than men to have anxiety and depression. Fuck! Yeah, and that can affect insomnia. Twice as likely? Yeah. You guys. Yes. That's a,  let's talk about that. It gets worse. We also have higher stress levels. Women are more likely to have restless leg syndrome.

 I just literally just stopped my leg from bouncing nonstop. The whole podcast. Busted. This table's poop.  like I said before, women are more prone to delayed diagnoses and misdiagnoses, in part due to stereotypes that persist, even in doctors and medical professionals.

Mm Then on top of that, when it comes to women, our hormones are messed up, even from the beginning of menstruation to pregnancy, perimenopause, menopause. That can also affect our sleep.  Also like psychological and physical stressors like pregnancy, childbirth. They all influence sleep.  But it's not true that we need more.

It's just that maybe we're getting less.

 but Yeah, sure. I hear you. There's what's happening versus what's required. Yeah. And that would be hard to study, as you're saying. . And so my takeaway from this was go. Easy on yourself. Don't listen to TikTok. . The stress of not getting enough sleep too is also gonna stress you out.

How much sleep do you get in a night? About 7 to 8 hours.

6 to 8, let's say. 6 to 8. I don't feel like I can function off 6 or 7. I am a zombie. I work best on the higher end of 8 to 9. Absolutely. And if I don't set an alarm, and I don't have anywhere to be, which never happens, I will crush 10. Easily. Great.  child comes and puts their ass on my face.

Can we have breakfast? Yeah. They also say women have an ability to nap more if there is time. There's a stigma about napping. We kind of shame it a little bit. And the truth is, there's nothing wrong with taking a nap if it works for you. If you 15 minutes in the afternoon, and it gives you that extra bit of energy for the rest of the day, do it.

But men are less inclined to nap than women are. Oh, you have not met my partner. He can nap. Champion napper.  He's a toddler on the weekend. Needs his naps. 

The reason that this caught my eye was because of people getting so outraged and going, See, I knew it. I knew I was tired. I knew I needed more sleep. But that's a curious thing where people are obviously feeling very validated. They are exhausted. They are tired. But it's the divide of, the comments under this video were things like, I didn't need a research scientist to tell me that I use more of my brain than a man does. Okay, that's just stupid. And you're like, okay, stop that.  Actually look at what are the factors that are affecting your sleep, and a lot of the things you can't control, but some you can.

So many you can. Drinking, screen time.  Wearing a sleep mask, earplugs, all those things, a fan, white noise, air quality, those all impact your sleep. 

  📍 

 I did something crazy and I went to Costco on the weekend. Why would you subject yourself to that? I forgot it was a Saturday.  I was waiting for a woman to take her parking spot. I was in my car.  She was in her car. She was ahead of me. But the person wasn't leaving, which for me, I have to say, if there's not a spot available, keep going. Keep driving. 

Anyways, this woman was doing that and I thought, okay, fine.  Maybe she has a bad leg and she really wants this spot. Oh, how civilized of you. Thank you. So I proceed to try and go around her.  I'm going to keep moving. But in going around her, another car was backing up, so I had to stop. 

So in her mind, what it looked like is that I was trying to scoot around her and take her parking spot. So this woman, may I say she was A little bit older than me, maybe her late 40s, early 50s. She was not having a good day, huh? She was not having a good day. She got out of her car and started screaming at  did you do? She got I put my hands up, I went,  Ma'am! Did you roll your window down? No.  When someone aggresses you, yeah, you're not gonna open yourself up to them. But this was like, she looked like a sweet older lady. No. Got out of her car and started screaming at me.

And my mom was in the car and we were both like, Whoa, this is wild. She's screaming, she's like getting angry. I say lady. You have to calm down. in your car. This is insane. But she can't hear you. She can see my mouth going, get back in your car. Go. This is wild. And I'm trying to smile at her, being like, it's okay.

We're just driving our car. The idea that someone wanted to get out of their car and fight me. Because they thought I had wronged them somehow. It was very bizarre. And I know road rage is a thing, but it's so much worse. Longtime listeners would know that you have road rage. Not like this.

No. I just don't tolerate stupidity. No.  Actually, this was an eye opener for me. And I realized that you can't have road rage. You can't get frustrated. I do, I used to get frustrated. I used to say things like, the left lane's just for passing. I don't like when people tail me too close. Like when people are on the highway and they're too close to your car. But I bet, do you tail people? No, I think that, that scares me. But if someone's too close to me, I will slow down on purpose. Absolutely. Yeah. So that's how my road rage comes out.

 Dr. Deborah Gilman, she is the owner and chief licensed psychologist at Fox Chapel Psychology Services in Pennsylvania did a, a report on road rage and the struggle with patients and these underlying anger issues people have on the road. And she said, people believe that they have a special right to be wherever they need to be faster than anyone else. 

And I said, that's true to me. They see other drivers as obstacles or inconveniences, not as fellow human beings. Trying to get somewhere when things don't go their way. For example, a slow driver in front. They take it as a personal attack. That's exactly what it is. It's everyone going.

I have to be somewhere now on my own time Get out of my way. You're all Against me.  I wonder over time if We see more road rage, than we did, say, 10 or 20 years ago, and I wonder if that's a comment or it's a reflection of how we're all so constantly in fight or flight, that we're so overstimulated that we are quick to anger.

Yes.  that would be my guess. Nobody's taking a Sunday drive on the back roads. Remember Sunday drives? I do.  Polera, a research company, did a, something called the Rage Index And they measured the mood of Canadians regarding government, economy, current events, all this. Who do you think, which provinces have the angriest people? Ontario. Ontario and Alberta have 55 percent of participants have high rage regarding economy, government, current events. Who do you think has the least amount of rage?

British Columbia. No, it's Quebec. Alberta and Ontario,   then it's BC and Atlantic Canada, which they just all grouped together. Then Manitoba and Saskatchewan at 52%, and then Quebec at 48%. Okay, so Those are all pretty close together. Absolutely. There's no like glaringly obvious first place.

No, about half of us are fucking furious. It's like the election.  Any election. And by election I mean whatever election we're looking at. Everyone's just split right down the middle. Actually it's not the middle.   I told you I got dragged on TikTok. Yeah.

Whatever. Do you want to tell people?  I feel fine about what I said, I was speaking about conflict resolution and talking about how in order to resolve conflict there has to be some common ground.  I don't think we say anything that controversial. Somebody got mad at you once for dissing Quebec and I just was like, she's from there. I'm allowed.  I can do whatever I want. 

I also think joking is fine, but some people don't think joking is fine anymore. Yes, we will delicately tread over the eggshells. Just kidding. All this to say I have now   the pun's too close. Curbed my road rage. No, that's perfect. I have recently curbed my road rage.

Thank you, Emily. And I went into Costco and I realized, I'm going to be the nicest person in this damned dump of a store. And I smiled at everyone. If someone wanted to go ahead of me, I said yes. When I was in lineup to cash out, I turned to the person next to me, I went, You wanna race?  Just wanted to have a little bit of fun, and now I no longer have road rage, I have to say.

Good for you! We'll see how long that lasts. Okay, I'll update you next week. Yeah, after the holiday shopping bonanza. I would love to not have road rage.  It takes a lot of presence and a lot of patience, and I don't have a lot of either of those, so I'm trying to dig deep. in terms of being nice to people, I'm overly nice and smile and say hi to people.

 If I know them, I use their name like, Oh, hey, Bob. Nice to see you. A lot of people are put off by that, which I find funny. They're just so surprised. I think especially here  in Vancouver, you look at people in the eye and say, hello.

They're like, what do you want I just try and bring my like little positive Polly cheer doesn't always work. Also, I'm a raging bitch. There is that. But it's nice to see those moments when someone else is mean and awful and you go Well, I don't want to be that.

 we gotta see it.  How are you going to maintain this zen  Ooh, music. Yeah, that'll do it. Music helps. And a new Tiny Desk concert just came out.  NPR, National Public Radio, has a concert series called Tiny Desk Series.

 And they're so good. And the Magnetic Fields just did one.  And they did a few songs from their album 69 Love Songs. 69 songs about love. Nope. 69 love songs. That's what it is. 69 Love Songs is a three album compilation that came out in 1999.

And so this is the 25th anniversary of this album. And it's Beautiful. millennial is showing. I know. It's so good. And here's the thing, even if you don't know the Magnetic Fields, you'll know their music because it's been played in so many different TV shows. It's been used in movies. It's like it's a soundtrack that you'll recognize. We'll link to the show in the show notes. Yeah. And what's interesting is that the 16 I Love Songs is set to feature in a new Broadway play. Oh, cool. So there's a new Broadway play called All In, a comedy about love, written by Simon Rich. Simon Rich is a great writer. He's a journalist. He's written for the New Yorker.

He wrote for SNL. I think he's 40 and he's incredible. He's got a bunch of short stories and essays. And he wrote a Broadway play called All In, comedy about love. it's a play that has a series of short scenes. Do you want to hear who the cast is in this play?

Yes. So it's a rotating cast from December 11th till February 16th. Here's a handful of people who are going to be in it. Did you say where it was? Sorry. In New York. In New York. Okay. Yeah. I don't know what theater it's going to be at. That's okay.   John Mulaney, Fred Armisen, Richard Kind, Chloe Fineman, Lin Manuel Miranda,  Aidy Bryant, Nick Kroll, Jimmy Fallon, David Cross, Tim Meadows, Annalie Ashford, and Hank Azaria. Funny people. All funny, yeah. But it's a musical? It's the music from Magnetic Field 69. So will all the funny people be singing?

No, it's a play. That will have the music of it. I see. Yeah. That would be an unbelievable show. So it's not a musical, but there is music. And it's it's the soundtrack of this play. 

But also just watch the Tiny Desk concert with them. It's  beautiful. Speaking of funny people. Yeah. Do you like Hannah Einbinder? From Hacks? Hacks? Yes, I do. I love her. 

She also, talk about some stress relief. She has a stand up special that you can watch. It's great. It's not like a normal stand up special. It feels very theatrical. It feels old Hollywood y. It's really good. She in her special talks about trees 

she has this bit and I'm going to tell you what the bit is because it blows my mind and I will do it no justice. So please watch her special. She says, In 1949, a man named Alfred Stefarud wrote an article in the USDA Journal of Agriculture. And in it, he recommended that city and urban planners only plant the male variety of trees.

he said, the female variety of trees littered cumbersome seeds and fruits that made the streets unbecoming. Yes. Sure. Okay. Okay. I'm listening. Okay. I'm not raging yet. Okay. Now here's the, I'm not giving away the bit because the way she does it is even better and there's so many other layers, but here's the kicker.

His influence this guy, Alfred Stefferud, his influence has led to a staggering increase in allergies. Because male trees emit toxins through pollen, and then that winds up on the surfaces of water, and in your nose, and on everything. Whereas, you know what female trees do? They let it  absorb it, but then what's dropping, the cumbersome seeds and fruit that make the streets unbecoming, Collects all the pollen and then drops it. So it's not in the air. It goes away the way I'm rolling my eyes. Honestly, that doesn't shock me at all.

We make this decision. We think we're so smart and we don't think  We're so I think there were signs though that this guy was a dud and I'd like to tell you why. Um, I'd like you to know some of his other books. Okay. So he wrote this. He wrote this article for the U.

S. D. A. Journal of Agriculture.  And the article was called Trees.  Oh, that's funny. Wait. In 1955, he wrote a book called Water.  Profound. Going for the profound. To which he says, this is a quote from him. He goes, there's a lot to be known about water.  Then he wrote a book called Birds in Our Lives. 

Then he wrote a book called Food Nutrition and Quality. And then of course, one of his best ones is How to Know the Wild Flowers. I mean, I like that. I like reading about that stuff. Yeah, but it's like this guy, he's just a, I don't know why we trust him. You don't want to sit next to him at a dinner party probably.

He wrote a book called Water and Trees. . Especially when he didn't think through the impact of not having female trees. 

Anyways, watch Hannah Einbinder's special to see a funny version of that. But I was shocked to find out that it's mostly male trees that have been planted in urban settings. I think you've read that somewhere and then you tied it back to the allergies. That's definitely a thing.  That doesn't surprise me at all. You were talking about books though!  Yes. I brought my book today. Which one? It's called Creation Lake by Rachel Kushner. It's a psychological thriller. 

Oh is it? Yeah, it's really good. Did you see the ending coming? No. Great. No. And I used to flip through to the back of the book to read the end. Emily! I know. I know. What? I just was really high anxiety. I couldn't wait for the end. Wait, how much of the end would you read? I don't know.  If the book is not particularly capturing me, I'll flip through a little bit and just get, a sentence here or there to help me paint the picture. And I'm like, is this worth finishing? I'm a believer that if the book is not doing it for you. Get rid of the book. Get rid of it.

Yeah. Life's too short. You've taught me that. Yeah, life's too short, but I'm very into spy books right now. This one, Creation Lake and then on my bedside table waiting to be devoured is one called The Collaborators  by Michael Idov another spy novel.

I think I'm just  in my life.  I get into my genres. I really like historical fiction and then I'm like, I want hot, sexy romance. Now I want spies. Speaking of hot, sexy romance, I didn't put this in here.

Did you watch Hot Frosty? Or The Merry Gentleman? No! Oh my god. What are these things? They're on Netflix! What's Hot Frosty? Hot Frosty has the guy . Dustin Milligan.  really funny. And he's really hot and hot hot and frosty. And it's just a silly it's a holiday movie. Relax. It's very Hallmark, but it's on Netflix. It's not a Hallmark film, but it's Netflix dipping its little fingers into that genre.  And then I also, I had to peek at The Merry Gentleman,  which had Michael Murray. Okay, first of all, he's fucking hot. And his gravelly voice is delicious. But it's not that sexy. And there's a bunch of dudes dancing with their shirts off.  It did not do it for me And it was just like, They have no chemistry. The third holiday film, it's older and I don't know if it's technically a holiday film, but there are Thanksgiving and Christmas themes is the hating game. It was adapted from a book and it's so hot.

It had real chemistry. It had tension. I was like,  I'm gonna go to my bedroom. It was delightful. The Hating Game. The Hating game with Lucy Hale, oh, I think is her name. She's great. And the guy's it is hot. I like their little fighty chemistry. That was good. I'm in a Hallmark Christmas movie right now.

I know you are. Called Jingle Bell Run. Love it. I don't know if you can watch it in Canada, but it is on the Hallmark Channel in the US. And it's got an Ashley Williams and Andrew Walker, two people who will fall in Love a happy ending. These stories that are comforting. It's just so nice to watch.  Something really funny is that there's always a kissing scene in the Hallmark movie, they have to be at the right height.

So a lot of times. Either the female lead or the male lead will stand on a little box. If you look at the whole movie, you'll notice that there is maybe a height difference. Except for when they kiss. And it's very sweet because sometimes someone has to stand on a little box. Sometimes someone has to stand on a bigger box.

Because when they kiss, it really does have to match perfectly. You don't want to have too much of a head tilt, too low of a head bow, they have to find the right height for a nice, perfect kiss. Do you know what I like? Is when they're horizontal, because then the height doesn't matter. Another Hallmark fun fact or Christmas movie fun fact. Often when they use a giant snow machine for outdoor scenes, it's so loud that all of the dialogue has to be re recorded.  Because that snow machine is so loud that the mics will pick up the snow machine sound.





  📍 I want to talk about the girls. Rihanna hired a new CMO, Chief Marketing Officer, for her Savage by Fenty business. Her name is Vanessa Wallace. The company is doubling down on retail expansion and wholesale growth, according to their CEO.

And this Vanessa Wallace is such a boss. She was formerly the head of brand marketing at Nike, where she held many roles for nearly two decades. So most recently she led the marketing efforts for the Jordan brand in North America, which is huge. She launched the Jordan brand Women's Collective. Which is an initiative to empower women and helped establish the Jordan Brand Black Community Commitment, a 100 million investment aimed to fight systemic racism.

So that, thought that was some great lady news. And then finally, the PWHL.  The Professional Women's Hockey League is coming to Vancouver. Yeah. So you can see the top women's hockey players battle as the Montreal Victoire and the Toronto Scepters face off on January 8th, 2025.

So I went to find out the price of tickets. They're sold out. Which is great news for women's sports and bad news for me.  That gave me goosebumps. Isn't that exciting? I love that. 

 It gives me chills to think about all the little girls hockey teams and women hockey players who are going to go and enjoy a massive spectacle of women's sports. It's really hard to imagine that you can be something if you can't see it already in the world.

100%. Oh, gosh.  You know? Okay, Philosophy. I just wanted you guys to know. If you wanna be it, you gotta see it. I thought that was some fun news. That's cool. What's our team? What's the Vancouver team? We don't have a Vancouver team. That's why I think they're here. Oh, I see. There's six teams in total, I want to say.

You would know better than me. I don't know.

did you see The cover of Vogue Germany with Giselle Pellicot. I sure did. It was out on November 25th, which is also the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against a beautiful, she's a total warrior, it's a beautiful sketch of her.

Gorgeous. I'll link to it in the show notes,  it's very powerful.

Can I say something about the Gisele Pellicot cover? Yeah. Something that I loved about it was the caption that's under her image, it says, no more shame. Fuck yeah. And that for me this cover is something that I almost want to print it.  

 Yeah, it goes with my Scarface poster.  The fact that she doesn't want to fight this battle in private in any way, I'm like, and so she should not. Gives me goosebumps. We learn.  How to be and we learn what we're capable of by hearing other people's stories, we learn how to calibrate ourselves and our morals and our decisions from How people are around us and what's tolerated and what's not.

And if we tolerate sexual assault and we tolerated a guy like Dominique Pelico, then  that's the lowest common denominator. That becomes what's acceptable. And so I love that she's saying, no, fuck you guys. I'm going to do this out loud. Yeah. She's also calling out the cowardice of the dozens of men who raped her with the help of her husband.

Do you think  gonna say something. I might get dragged. Here it comes. Do you think  she's more supported by the general public, and especially women, because she's older? Would we say the same thing? Yes, the acts are horrific.  No matter what way you say it. But if it was a 35 year old woman.

Instead of a 72 Would it make the same waves?  I'm honestly asking, do we support her more?

 Because  she's in a different chapter of her life. And am I a terrible person for having that thought? No, I actually think that's a very interesting thought, because my instinct is to say, I think it is a different situation, because she's  woman in her seventies.

Yeah, I don't know if we would treat it differently. And obviously, that's a losing game to even think that thought, there's also a perception that older women aren't as sexual.  And maybe they are more vulnerable.

And they are more vulnerable.   But you're saying things that have been said about women forever.  She's a game changer. I don't think we will forget her name or her work or this battle she's taken on ever. Yeah, Her daughter wrote a book. I wrote about it in the newsletter a couple weeks ago. Her daughter, who was using a pen name she found throughout this case that her father had photos of her naked. 

So she started to wonder, was she also subjected to this? And so she's living a life going am I? Was I? And her father's going no. But like, why would you believe him? Exactly.  really awful. Oh, I have a question. Did the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women work? 

Did it work, or No,  we gotta do it again next year. It's pay equality day and international women's day. What? Okay, we gotta keep  📍 trying, 

 like ASMR? I don't actively seek it out, but your co star has an ASMR channel. I linked to it a while ago.

You spoke about it before in an I like any audio sensory experience that's different and curious there's a whole scene. I had no idea how huge it was, and so a friend of mine, Genevieve Angelson, has her own channel on YouTube. Yeah. It's ASMR with Genevieve Angelson, and she just had dinner at the White House with Joe Biden.

About ASMR? No! But she Hold on! But she tells the story of dinner with Joe Biden on her ASMR channel. And ASMR isn't necessarily dirty, right? No, it's not dirty. Yeah. I think the introduction to ASMR usually comes from people speaking erotically into the microphone and like that kind of stuff.

Yeah. I remember seeing somewhere a woman is recording an audio erotica and she's filming herself recording the vocals and she smacks a package of raw chicken. because that's what it sounds like when you're smacking skin. And so I think the more popular ASMR is maybe audio erotica. She, why did Genevieve have dinner She was invited. She was invited to this dinner with Joe Biden because her father has worked with him in the past. And she went as her dad's date and they took the Amtrak there. And she tells the whole story of what it was like to have dinner with Joe Biden.  And she had a great time. I also didn't know about ASMR,  people do love it. I always thought it was the sweaty balls thing that Anna Gasteyer did. That is, both of those terms just went right over my head. What's the sweaty whatever?

From SNL, Gasteyer?  Really sweaty balls. Did you put those balls in your mouth? Yeah, oh my god about Christmas cookies and like rumbles  But that for me was the original ASMR   so it's Molly Shannon and on a gas tire and they do Sweaty balls and it's very holiday themes. ASMR is defined as a feeling of well being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp.

Yes. And down the back of the neck as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.  can be triggered by things like whispering voices, paper tearing, and scalp massage. So it affects some people, it really pleases some people.

So it gives you that kind of tingly feeling. Genevieve is great at it. Her channel has questions and how to get through a breakup, dating advice. So it's not even just stories, it's her kind of talking and answering questions.  I love a yap.

She has something called post election comfort. She's my vibe. Yeah. That's our vibe. It's great. So it's on YouTube, you should check it out. I will link to it in the show notes again. And I'm curious if I have, if it affects me in that way. So I was listening, I burped really loudly right there, sorry. 

I don't know if it affects me the way it affects other people, because I don't get that tingly thing in the head, but I do like it. I get it. But I don't get the full tingle down the meridian. I do. Yeah. I always have with sound, especially. I'm quite physically moved by sound.

Do you like being tickled? Yes.  I hate it. Tell me how you're really feeling. Once my husband tried to tickle me and I almost decked him. He clocked him. I got real mad. I went, don't do that. You like tickle someone's back cause they're falling asleep. Yeah. My son every night. Oh my God. Yeah. Baby. I don't like that. Oh, I see. I find it really relaxing. I don't. I miss human touch. I miss being touched. I say, stop that. Oh, Kate.

I know. Do you like getting a massage? Love a massage. Interesting. But it better be firm pressure. Put your, put all your mitts into my back. Do you love this? Do you love being here with us? Yes.  And when they say things like, and is that good? I always say, you can go a little harder.

You can get in there. Use an elbow. 

  📍 I went viral. Hard copy socials went viral.  My nudes. Your nudes finally went viral? Those would not go viral. Emily's been trying for years to get those nudes to go viral. I had. Boudoir photos done once and it went very poorly. They were hot, though.

Why did it go poorly? Ah, story I'll save for another day.   I don't know what viral means anymore. I definitely went viral. And I am dying laughing because Tia Mowry liked my post.  Like Sister Sister? Yep. Jamie Lynn Spears liked my post. Stop. I know. But , let me tell you what excited me the most,  that was all last week, and I was like, what the fuck, this is crazy, but then Claire Parker followed the account.

Claire Parker is one of the duo behind Celebrity Memoir Book Club, which is like my favorite podcast. Yes. And Instagram account. And I am a huge fan of both of them. Claire is a comedian, if I'm not mistaken. She's fucking hilarious. So she followed me and  I messaged her and said, Okay, Tia Mowry and Jamie Lynn Spears like my post today, but this is by far what I get most excited about and send a screenshot of Claire Parker has followed you big fan.

And she said, Oh my God, thank you. Ashley just sent your account and was like, they're so good at posting. I said, Thanks so much. I love doing it as huge fans of you guys. Please tell her means so much. I've I slipped into fangirl pretty fast. But it's so hard to be cool when you're like, I'm not cool. I have no chill.

These women are amazing and celebrity memoir book club they just do a really good job.  I think their tagline is we read the celebrity memoir so you don't have to, but their takes are always so insightful. Their podcast is very Casual, they're just two smart women chatting about books and so it's actually like a nice virtual book club and I am just such a huge fan of both of them and I was like, oh my god Fuck Tia Mowry 112 million followers Claire Parker just followed me  I remember listening to them do I think it was like Demi Moore's  And then their podcast made me want to read that book, even though they had talked about it.

I was like now I want to read it. One time I tweeted this tweet. I said, when it's four booms, it's never not the Venga boys. And the Venga boys liked my tweet. That should've been a hit. That should've been viral. Boom, boom, boom, boom. I want you in my room.

Let's spend the night together. From now until forever. Boom, boom, boom, boom. That's a great tweet.

Okay. When are you going to give me my tips on how to be on the internet? I don't. Don't be on the internet. No, but you said at one point you were going to do a little thing of like how to help people. Okay, so here's the thing. I've been like, do I have a segment? Do I just talk at my phone?  I don't want to make reels like I really like you guys and I really want you to nail the internet but I also don't want to make reels that you're just going to watch and then you're going to save because you're gonna be like, I'm going to do that later and then you're never going to do it.

No. So it's probably should be on the blog. And like a tech tips 101. I'd have to establish trust that people will have to count on me that I know what I'm talking about and I think that's, that takes a lot of work and so the people who are doing it and doing it really well.

Yeah. That's like a job. What if next week you,  have three tech tips for me. Okay. And I'll tell you if I already knew that or didn't know that. Can I do it now? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Actually. What about right now? Yeah. Ready. And I'll let you know if I already knew that or not. You. Would be well served by turning off all your location services on your phone.

Are your location services on or off on your phone? On. Why? Why? Cause I don't know. What, turn them all off? I would turn them off. What Does Instagram need to know where you are? No. Huh!  You're right, it says when I'm using the app  it can track me. But what do I do about maps?

Okay, maps is a different one. And Apple Maps technically You're sharing your data with the least problematic company at the moment. Google Maps, you're sharing all your, they have years and years of your Gmail, you're fucked. So those are considerations,  what data am I sharing by default that I didn't know I was sharing before?

We talked a couple weeks ago  upon application updates, the companies are automatically opting you into training their large language models or their AI. Because people use those terms interchangeably I think another consideration is, what about your location services? Who needs to know where I am? Does anyone need   which applications have access to  microphone and your camera?

 We use this every day. I didn't even think about that. No, and that's, but why would you? Why would I? And also They've made it, the technology companies have made using your phone and electronic devices so intuitive Yeah. That I don't, in some cases, it's not malicious.

In some cases, it's absolutely malicious. But, like, why would you think about that? You assume that this is going to help you. So I should just go into my settings and turn off the mic, what was it you said?  It depends, right? Does Instagram need your microphone?

Are you recording voice notes for Instagram? Are you recording videos for Instagram?  Instagram doesn't need access to your microphone. So I would turn it off. And it doesn't need to know that I'm on the toilet. It does not need to know you're on the It's none of its business. So that's one tip. Do you know how tempted I am right now to go on my phone and change all these things, but I will do that this afternoon. So I would look for a guide, a trusted guide,  Wired magazine used to publish these great things like how to disappear yourself from the internet.

I think if I could do one thing, it would help people. understand a little bit more about  what happens when they're using this. What happens when you're putting all your info into a checkout?

When you're buying things online. Those companies save that email and then they sell that email. Do you ever start getting spam emails? Yeah, that's where it's from. Because people are doing that. If you make a donation, some of these places don't have secure software.

In, so your address then becomes available. I don't think it's impossible. It would take a lot of work to completely cushion yourself from the world and  do a little bubble boy situation. Yeah. But I do think it's important to be aware. And if we're aware, then we can make better choices.

And everybody has different preferences. Some people don't give a shit. I have super tech friends who don't give a shit. about what's out there  and that's awesome. I've always been a little bit paranoid, a little, not tinfoil hat, just paranoid. I read enough and I built enough of that software that I am now a level of paranoid that I don't think is very unreasonable.

I've had a friend whose identity was stolen multiple times.  So there's doxxed is when someone like outs your information. Yeah. For public consumption. Often that happens with public figures.  It most often happens with women. But stolen identity is really challenging.

I think the biggest thing right now is if there is any shadow of a doubt that it's a scam, I want you to know it's a scam. I guess that would be my tech tip. If you're at all not sure, it's Yeah, that's probably a scam. I do, I like to have some fun in my life when people call to scam you. Oh my god, are you one of those people you'll sit and jam with them and be like, let me get you my social insurance number, one second.

No, I'll say things like, I'm not allowed to talk on the phone.  can you help me? I'm not allowed to be on this phone. Master says it's bad. Oh my god, Kate. Yeah. Or I'll just say, are they like, sorry, I got to go. Yeah. Oh, they hang up real fast.  They don't even want to help you.

No, because I'm also like, I'm giving off a vibe, and as I say, have some fun with it. A friend, someone stole my friend's identity and was trying to sell his merch.  That's hard. There's a lot of that happens. And that I did dig into a little bit and I went, Oh, this is such a good idea. Can I send you money? 

And the scammer was like, that'd be great, thanks so much. And they were pretending to be my friend, and I knew it wasn't them. 

 It wouldn't surprise me if the next scams were, someone using my voice, which is available on the internet, creating an AI replica of it or creating a digital duplicate of me, my voice, and then calling my parents and asking money.

That's terrifying. Yeah. So the general understanding and the way to deal with that is you should have a code word. So my kids and I have a code word. What is it? Okay, I like that. A little code word. Turn off the microphone.

 I'd be shocked to find out what's using a microphone that doesn't need to be, So you go to settings, Yep. Privacy and security, locations.  Okay, we got Air Canada, Astronomy, my calendar, Canadian Tire, CBC, Costco, DoorDash, Electric Circuit, Evo.

They all have access to your microphone. GiveBlood, my blood donation, Google Maps, Home Depot, Instagram, Maps, Messages, Messenger, my account for Virgin, Pay by phone, oh my god. To your microphone? Show me. Location, sir. My location is on.  You don't actually need it on for parking because the parking spot will be there and you can put the number in.

Yeah. I mean your, does astronomy need to know? Does CBC Listen need to know where you are? Does Costco need to know where you are? DoorDash does not need to know where you are because  you've already typed in the address. 

Home Depot doesn't, now you can turn a few off. So that's just information you're giving away for free. And then, so there's location. And I don't want to. And then  here are all the apps that have access to your camera. Amazon. DoorDash. Google.

Jane. Marco Polo, that makes sense. Marco Polo makes sense. Yes, because it's a video. Do you think Pay By Phone needs access to your camera? I don't even know why. Does RBC Mobile need access to your camera? If I'm depositing a check, maybe. True. Good point.  And then microphone. Oh, I'm excited to see this. Furbo.  What the fuck is Furbo? It's my dog camera. It is access to your microphone. Do you talk to your dog through Furbo? Yeah, sometimes.  Yeah, so you're actually pretty good here. You I would turn it off.

Do you use Marco Polo? Sometimes. You still? Okay. Facebook Messenger? No. Turn it off. Chat GPT? No. Do you talk to Chat GPT? No. Turn it off. Just stuff like that. You're not changing anything. You're just limiting. Access. You're just closing the blinds at night.

Right? That's all you're doing. Closing the blinds at night. I like that. No biggie. Thanks, 

  📍  oh, I'm getting a scam call. Oh my god, do it. Hello? Hello? I'm not allowed to use this.  Oh, they hung up.  The only thing is if you answer the spam calls, then they're like, this number works. Yeah, but then I'm there wasting their time and maybe they can't get someone else. Oh, you're so thoughtful. I guess I'm a superhero. Speaking of superheroes, I would like to give a shout out to The late, great Kathleen McGee.

Kathleen passed away on November 3rd after a incredibly courageous, brutal fucking fight with cancer. And 43 is way too young,  she was so funny, so fierce, so dirty, so raunchy,  just a really wonderful comedian, a great member of the community. She was One of the most welcoming people in a comedy room, which is rare, when you're with other stand ups and comedians, that she would be the one who would come over and stand with you, anyways, I just wanted to give a shout out to Kathleen McGee. If you don't know her comedy, go check it out. Yeah, just a really awesome, important person in the Canadian comedy scene.  she'll be very missed.

  📍   📍 I'm so glad to be back. I missed you very much.

Friends, we are done here for this week. Please click subscribe or follow or whatever the little button says so that you don't miss any of our weekly episodes. We'd love it if you'd rate and review the podcast so that other people like you can find the podcast more easily right now We're sitting at 27 five star reviews.

So I'm feeling good if you have a busy woman in your life send this to her Emily and I love being here with you and we are so freaking happy to hang out with you on Spotify or Wherever else you listen to your podcasts  See ya! Buh bye. Chat soon!     📍