Film critic, tabletop gaming enthusiast, and Trinity University alumnus Matthew Monagle joins Your Stupid Minds to talk about 2020’s The New Mutants , a film troubled by reshoots, company mergers, and a theatrical release right in the middle of a global pandemic. Dani Moonstar (Blu Hunt) is brought to a mysterious facility after her entire family dies during a “tornado.” The facility’s sole employee, Dr. Cecilia Reyes (Alice Braga), tells her she’s a mutant (of the X-Men variety, not the post-ap...
Jul 09, 2021•1 hr 41 min•Season 1Ep. 176
Strap yourself in and enjoy the ride for this fast-paced, tongue-in-cheek, aesthetically beautiful episode! Did you know Louise Linton, (possibly better known as the wife of Suicide Squad executive producer and former Trump treasury secretary Steven Mnuchin) produced, directed, wrote, and starred in her own movie about a girlboss serial killer? Did you know it's just as awful as I just described? Because that's Me You Madness (2021) baby! Catherine (Linton) is a take-charge finance person who's ...
Jun 04, 2021•1 hr 22 min•Season 1Ep. 175
Hey, did you know a new Mortal Kombat movie comes out tomorrow? Huh, weird. Well, just by sheer coincidence, we reviewed 1997's Mortal Kombat: Annihilation , a movie reviled even by Mortal Kombat film franchise fans. Shao Kahn (Brian Thompson), immediately at the conclusion of the first film, shows up to destroy the earth, breaking the rules of Mortal Kombat and rendering everything that happened in the last movie completely moot. The remaining heroes Liu Kang (Robin Shou) and Kitana (Talisa Sot...
Apr 23, 2021•1 hr 28 min•Season 1Ep. 174
Your Stupid Minds ends its two-movie cyborg series and jumps in to our tried and true “Worst of the Previous Year” mainstay. 2020 didn’t have a huge number of films to choose from, but luckily the first three months of the year, where the stinkiest movies usually reside, were relatively pandemic free. In January, Universal unceremoniously dumped Dolittle into theaters with little fanfare, and the shark critics (who can talk) swarmed on its carcass. Dr. John Dolittle (Robert Downey Jr.) is a doct...
Mar 26, 2021•1 hr 34 min•Season 1Ep. 173
We continue our ad hoc mini cyborg series with a sequel to an Albert Pyun movie but not directed by Pyun: Cyborg 2: Glass Shadow . Cash (a 17 year old Angelina Jolie in her first starring role) is a top-of-the-line cyborg created to seduce her company’s competitors and blow them up. Her and her karate instructor Colton Ricks (Elias Koteas) have a good rapport, but a mysterious mouth named Mercy (Jack Palance) connect with both of them on every available CRT television nearby. Mercy helps them bo...
Feb 26, 2021•1 hr 29 min
In a vague gesture toward Cyberpunk 2077, that game people used to complain about a month ago, Your Stupid Minds dips into Amazon Prime's vast archive of schlock and found 1992's Nemesis , directed by YSM mainstay Albert Pyun ( Dangerously Close , Captain America ). Alex (Olivier Gruner, a Jean-Claude Van Damme type) is an LAPD cop with cyborg enhancements. He is tasked with finding his former partner and lover Jared (Marjorie Monaghan), who has gone rogue and allied with cyborg terrorists... or...
Jan 28, 2021•1 hr 2 min
Legend has it every three years, Danielle and Valeah will return to Your Stupid Minds to review a middling Christmas movie. That legend has been fulfilled for Netflix’s The Knight Before Christmas , starring Vanessa Hudgens and some British guy. Featuring special guests, as previously mentioned, Valeah and Danielle. Brooke (Hudgens) is a schoolteacher in small town Ohio who recently suffered a mild breakup that hasn’t really affected her at all, is ambivalent but not hostile toward Christmas, an...
Dec 23, 2020•1 hr 19 min•Season 1Ep. 170
We finally got around to reviewing Money Plane . What is Money Plane , you ask? A movie about a plane. With money on it. Well, not really. Cryptocurrency. Which I guess can be considered money. And you bet on snuff films. Or something. And you rob it. Rob the Money Plane. Jack Reese (former wrestler Adam “Edge” Copeland) is a thief with $40 million in gambling debts. When his crew is set up during an art heist, aforementioned criminal boss “The Rumble” (Kelsey Grammer) buys his debt and makes hi...
Nov 20, 2020•1 hr 10 min•Season 1Ep. 169
A halloween spooktacular so good you’ll puke your guts out! It’s Lucio Fulci’s 1980 movie City of the Living Dead ! A New England priest (Fabrizio Jovine) hangs himself in order to open a portal to hell and unleash an army of the undead. Mary (Catriona MacColl) discovers his plot during a New York seance and travels with a reporter (Christopher George) to stop the zombie horde on All Saint’s Day through… means. Meanwhile, the denizens of Dunwich, Massachusetts notice strange happenings in the to...
Oct 30, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 168
We're sealing up our loosey-goosey Worst of 2019 series with the most notorious big budget movie of the year: 2019's Cats ! Featuring special guest Sarah Richard (née Dobson). Victoria (Francesca Hayward) is a cat abandoned by her owners on the mean streets of Cat London. There she meets up with a musical bunch of Jellicle cats who show her the ropes of what it means to be Jellicle. They all sing their silly songs as proof that they are the Jellicle Choice™. Meanwhile, the evil cat Macavity (Idr...
Sep 25, 2020•1 hr 40 min•Season 1Ep. 167
Your Stupid Minds continues its ad hoc Worst of 2019 series with a big budget adaptation of a book that was not nearly as best-selling as the book: The Goldfinch ! Starring a bevy of hot young male actors with incredibly silly names. Theo Decker (Oakes Fegley) is a boy who is a victim in a terrorist attack targeting New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art. His mother is killed in the blast and he goes to live with some WASP-y family friends. The matriarch Mrs. Barbour (Nicole Kidman) takes a likin...
Aug 07, 2020•1 hr 52 min•Season 1Ep. 166
Your Stupid Minds continues its Worst of 2019 mini theme with a film that technically didn’t come out in 2019 (December of 2018) but also didn’t really come out anywhere, really. Nicolas Cage stars as another character named Joe in Maria Pulera's ghostly thriller dark comedy drama horror film Between Worlds . Joe (Cage) is a widower Alabama truck driver whose wife and five-year-old daughter died tragically in a house fire. He comes across a woman named Julie ( Run Lola Run ’s Franka Potente) bei...
Jul 11, 2020•1 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 165
Your Stupid Minds enters the world of Baker Dill as part of its ad hoc Worst of 2019 series with the flop Serenity . Don’t worry nerds! We’re reviewing the other movie named Serenity that was a big flop. The one about fishing and step-dad revenge. Not Joss Whedon’s space opera. Baker Dill (Matthew McConaughey) is an island fisherman trying to catch a giant tuna named Justice. His high school sweetheart Karen (Anne Hathaway) finds him and offers $10 million to kill her abusive husband Frank (Jaso...
Jun 12, 2020•1 hr 18 min•Season 1Ep. 164
In honor of our one-off mention of the scene where a man throws a dog in the ocean, Your Stupid Minds reviews Hulk Hogan’s Mr. Nanny ! Sean Armstrong (Hogan, credited as Terry “Hulk” Hogan, which is still not his real name) is a down-and-out wrestler whose manager Burt (Sherman Hemsley) gets him a job as a bodyguard. It turns out Armstrong will oversee two psychotic children for Alex Mason (Austin Pendleton), the CEO of a microchip company. While the two children find various clever ways to try ...
May 08, 2020•1 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 163
Apropos of nothing, Your Stupid Minds reviews 1994's Streets of Rage , a vanity project written, produced, and starring wrestler Mimi Lesseos. Melody Sails (Lesseos) is a former special forces badass and aspiring journalist. After talking to some homeless children in the slums of Los Angeles, she uncovers a pattern of child murder which ties back to evil British pimp Lunar (Oliver Page). Melody also juggles three different men after her affections, and fends off other men in the form of random s...
Apr 05, 2020•1 hr 7 min•Season 1Ep. 162
Your Stupid Minds reviews Sniper: Special Ops based solely on its horrific Photoshop Frankenstein DVD cover. And Steven Seagal is in it. Jake (Seagal) is a 65-year-old elite Army sniper on a mission in Afghanistan (which has geography that in no way resembles Southern California) to save a kidnapped congressman. The squad leader Vic (Tim Abell) is also present, along with Vasquez, (wrestler Rob Van Dam) and some other people. Jake shoots two dudes with the sniper rifle, then it breaks and he nev...
Feb 21, 2020•1 hr 5 min•Season 1Ep. 161
Your Stupid Minds enters 2020 with one of the worst of 2019: the John Travolta starring, Fred Durst directed movie out of time The Fanatic . Moose (Travolta) is a Los Angeles resident obsessed with the past-his-prime action star Hunter Dunbar (Devon Sawa). He gets access to a premiere party only to discover he isn’t there. After multiple attempts to make contact, his friend Leah (Ana Golja) points him to an app that maps celebrities’ homes. He uses this opportunity to stalk Dunbar and do a bunch...
Jan 23, 2020•1 hr 20 min•Season 1Ep. 160
Your Stupid Minds celebrates the holiday season, nutcrackers, Lifetime movies, and incest-based coffee commercials with our latest episode of 2018’s A Very Nutty Christmas ! Kate Holiday (Melissa Joan Hart) is a woman who doesn’t dislike Christmas but is generally stressed out by it. She’s a baker and has to bake a lot of cookies for the holidays. After her actor/Santa boyfriend Mark (Ryan Caltagirone) dumps her, she acquires the original nutcracker toy which inspired the Nutcracker ballet. Need...
Dec 24, 2019•1 hr 6 min•Season 1Ep. 159
Special guest Adam Pecht returns to Your Stupid Minds to cover another poorly thought out and shoddily made horror film: 1990’s Demon Wind ! Cory (Eric Larson) and his girlfriend Elaine (Francine Lapensée) visit the beautiful Napa Valley. The recent suicide of Cory's father compels him to visit his family’s old home. He assembles ten of his closest friends to help with the investigation, including Elaine’s jock ex-boyfriend Dell ( T-Force ’s Bobby Johnston), some nerd (Stephen Quadros), and a ma...
Nov 05, 2019•1 hr 36 min•Season 1Ep. 158
Your Stupid Minds dips into a movie too tawdry for children and too stupid for adults: 1994’s Milk Money . A trio of 11-year-old boys saves up to purchase the services of a sex worker so they can see her naked (which is probably what they think sex is). When V (Melanie Griffith), a prostitute in the big city, agrees, circumstances bring her to their bucolic suburb where she lives in one of the boys’ treehouse and strikes up a romance with his widower father Tom (Ed Harris). There’s also somethin...
Sep 23, 2019•1 hr 33 min•Season 1Ep. 157
In honor of the (now not so recently) late legend Rutger Hauer, Your Stupid Minds covers one of our favorite Hauer films. No, not Blade Runner. Come on. You know what kind of podcast this is. It’s 1989’s Blind Fury ! Nick Parker (Hauer) is an American solider in Vietnam blinded by Viet Cong shrapnel. He’s taken in by local villagers and taught the ways of the sword through elaborate bullying and pranks. Years later, he finds himself plopped into southern Florida as a friendly hobo. He goes to vi...
Aug 21, 2019•1 hr 21 min•Season 1Ep. 156
After a thorough and inefficient search of the Amazon Prime streaming options, Your Stupid Minds settles on the most ridiculously titled ‘90s direct-to-video release in its general eyeshot: 1996’s Kid Cop ! A kid cop (Jer Adrianne Lelliott) insists on being a kid cop after his adult cop dad is killed in the line of duty. His mother (Alexandra Paul) is concerned, but somewhat relieved that Kid Cop is guided by the man who did not prevent her husband’s death, his partner Frank (Edward Albert). Kid...
Jul 14, 2019•1 hr 20 min•Season 1Ep. 155
Your Stupid Minds reviews a classic of the gym-based ‘80s slasher genre, Killer Workout , also known as Aerobi-cide . An up-and-coming model (Marcia Karr) is horrifically burned in a freak tanning bed fire. Two years (or is it five years?) later, her twin sister Rhonda (mentioned only in online synopses) opens up a gym where babes and hunks are murdered with a comically large novelty safety pin. A needlessly confrontational investigator, Lieutenant Morgan (David Campbell), is assigned the case. ...
Jun 23, 2019•1 hr•Season 1Ep. 154
Your Stupid Minds returns to sports television pioneer cum b-movie schlock director Andy Sidaris ( Hard Ticket to Hawaii ) with his 1989 beach babes spy caper Savage Beach . Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlson) return to the Sidaris-verse when, after a drug bust and a naked hot tub session, fly to a remote island to deliver medicine to orphans. During the mission, they encounter a storm and have to crash land on a different island, which ends up being the center of an intertwined na...
Jun 01, 2019•1 hr 21 min•Season 1Ep. 153
Superfan Leo requested one of those most notoriously bad movies in modern history: Rob Reiner's 1994 box office bomb North . The titular 11-year-old wunderkind North (Elijah Wood) is tired of his parents' (played by Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus) bickering and self-centeredness, so he decides to become a "free agent" and shops around for new parents. With his parents in a shock-induced double coma, North traipses the globe looking for a new family, which takes him to Texas, Hawaii, Ala...
May 17, 2019•1 hr 32 min•Ep. 152
Have you ever wanted to see *NSYNC, Kenny Rogers, O-Town, Zachery Ty Bryan, LFO, Gilbert Gottfried, Dustin Diamond, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Paul Sorvino, Britney Spears, and Art Garfunkel all together on the big screen? No, you didn't. You really, really didn't. Because that’s what happened in 2001’s Lou Pearlman produced film Longshot , and it was awful. Much like a Russian nesting doll, the film is a gigolo-based espionage thriller within a high school basketball redemption story within a s...
Apr 13, 2019•1 hr 25 min•Season 1Ep. 151
We are back…. now for Your Stupid Minds’s 150th episode! Since we’ve gotten into the habit of releasing episodes featuring Neil Breen movies at fifty episode intervals (see: Fateful Findings , Double Down ), we had to wait until Nick’s $30 standard definition DVD copy of his latest film, Twisted Pair , arrived via USPS from the Breen’s Las Vegas estate. Neil Breen plays twins Cade and Cale Altair, who were taken by aliens at birth and imbued with AI Intelligence superpowers that make them jump r...
Mar 29, 2019•1 hr 18 min•Season 1Ep. 150
Your Stupid Minds goes back to its roots (we always say that) to cover a movie that, as Mary Berry likes to say, ticks all the boxes. Roger Cormon, Jim Wynorski, ‘80s, swords and sandals, buff dudes, John Lazar… Deathstalker II has it all! Deathstalker (John Terlesky) helps out a seer/princess Reena/Evie (Monique Gabrielle) regain her throne after the evil Jarek the Sorcerer (John Lazar) seizes the throne and clones an evil version of the princess to serve as his princess queen. Deathstalker is ...
Feb 05, 2019•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 149
Your Stupid Minds starts a new life... under the sea! Just in time for DC Comics' aquatic superhero movie, and (probably) two years before Disney makes an embarrassing remake of The Little Mermaid , it's the Walgreens genetic brand The Little Mermaid ! Armando Gutierrez is a "banker, political consultant, and entrepreneur," who decided he should also become a movie producer after producing and appearing in Walt Before Mickey , a film version of a negative bio of Walt Disney. Armando teamed up wi...
Dec 21, 2018•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 148
Near-fatal cat infections and paternity leave is over, so after a brief hiatus, we are back! Chris's recuperation involved a trip to scenic New England, where he saw an old building once owned by Benedict Arnold (great-grandfather of the guy you're thinking of). A Google Maps search revealed a strange museum dedicated to the building. Friend of the show Sarah Long (guest on American Strays , .com for Murder ) mentioned that the owner of the museum produced a movie! So we watched it!...
Oct 29, 2018•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 147
