228 - Freelance

Your Stupid Minds starts 2024 with our Worst of 2023 limited series. Our first one is the John Cena action “comedy” from the director of Taken (no, not Luc Besson) and co-starring Alison Brie! It’s 2023’s Freelance.

Mason Pettits (Cena) is former Army Special Forces who injures his back in a helicopter crash during a mission to “liberate” the fictional South American country of Paldonia. After being bored as the most jacked lawyer of all time, he takes on a “freelance” job from his Army buddy Sebastian (Christian Slater) protecting journalist Claire Wellington (Brie) as she visits Paldonia to interview President Venegas (Juan Pablo Raba). The mission goes off without a hitch, Mason collects his $20,000, and his wife loves him again. The end.

Just kidding. The mission goes sideways when a coup d'état breaks out during the visit. Venegas’s worm nephew Jorge (Sebastian Eslava) is under the control of foreign powers who want to strip the country of its natural resources. Pettits, Venegas, and Brie must team out to save the country, and blow up some more helicopters in the process.