Holy Muscles: A cheat code to loving the reflection in the mirror!

Now I'm sharing what I know with you fitness , nutrition and all the deeper stuff to help you discover your strongest body . Hello , hello , welcome back to another episode of your Strongest Body .

Today , like so many days here , the topic is going to be about building muscle , but today it is going to be about building muscle and how it is the cheat code for loving your reflection . I've got a lot of thoughts about this . I have a lot of nuance to bring , I promise , because it's never as cut and dry . It always has some shades of gray .

But I am excited to talk about this topic . It was spurred by just the best thing ever , so I'm going to share that and I hope you'll listen . I mean , I guess you're here , so you'll listen .

I guess I was thinking of it as like , let me intro the episode and then you decide if you're going to stay , but I would hope you stay Before I get started I'm thinking are there any updates ? I don't think there are any updates . I am tired . I'm just like a little extra tired this week . I'm wondering if it has to do with this hotter weather .

It's kind of exhausting me . I'm going to take a look at my maybe supplementing with some electrolytes because I think I could be sweating a little bit more . You know , just life , I think , is , as always , pretty . You know , nonstop , and so maybe that is just part of it , just feeling the nonstopness of life .

But usually for me , when I move I feel better . So that is on my plan today . I'm going to get to the gym for a second . Today I was like maybe I would just stay home and take a nap . I , 100% of the time , feel terrible after I take a nap . I know there are people who nap very well . I am not that person . I always feel worse .

So I'm not going to nap , I'm going to go exercise . I think it is going to feel very good and I will likely report on that in my Instagram stories . I did also mention in my Instagram stories that I am creating a boulder shoulder blueprint guide to building boulder shoulders . So I get very , very sweetly .

People talk to me about my shoulders all the time and I'm very proud of them . They're big , they're defined . I worked very hard to build them from scratch . In some ways , we start with just the muscles that are there and I grew them in size and in strength .

And I regularly watch people at the gym , particularly women , who I think are aiming to build their upper body and who are aiming to build their shoulders and shoulder definition , and I wish I could go up and tell them that there are a few things I would change .

Now I never do that at the gym because one that's my profession , but I kind of , and also I don't know anybody's particular goals , so that might not be their specific goal and I would never step in . I don't know anybody's particular goals , so that might not be their specific goal and I would never step in where I don't know Other people .

I tell you , sometimes men at the gym will just offer their guidance when no one asked , but maybe they see that as a piece of generosity , so I don't know them . In my case , I like to stay back , let you do your thing and if you want to come and ask me a question , I'm happy to answer All that to say .

I see trends and so , while I can't tell if an individual would like to be doing something different , I can see that the trend . For most women who come into the gym and do upper body , there are things that would change about their upper body workouts .

And then I've seen the trend of sort of like explaining upper body workouts to women on Instagram , and I would do it differently . So I'm just going to take that information and I'm going to create this guide . You can consume it if you want it or if that's not your style , you don't have to .

But it's going to be a five day guide that's dropped to you every day via email with explanations , kind of strategies , assessments and then actual shoulder workouts for you so that you're all set to build your boulder shoulders . So I'm hoping to have it out by the end of the month and I'm very , very excited about that .

So when it is up , I'll put it in the show notes when the site and the download is , but it's going to be a free , free download . Yeah , all right . So let's get into the episode Muscles , muscles , muscles .

I know I talk about it all the time , but there is something so powerful about what happens when you build muscles , and this weekend , over the course of two days , I received six messages from clients about wins in terms of their muscles and what they saw in the mirror . And I was over the moon I was over the moon One to get those influx of messages .

I mean , I talk to my clients a lot and I believe that I have fostered a real celebration of wins across the board , and so when someone sends me a text like that one , I'm proud of them and excited for them and also I go , okay , okay , they're taking stock in their wins .

So that kind of that what I'm trying to communicate in terms of how that is going to help them stay the course and keep going and be a part of this like long-term fitness journey is really working .

So I got these messages and in all of these messages I'm going to share a few with you without any information from that person , because for these folks , I didn't ask them about sharing the specifics of their message , so I'll just give you the generals of the message .

Um , and , and overwhelmingly , in these messages I got , there is a celebration of muscle size and muscle growth and how it makes them feel when they look in the mirror and like I couldn't have paid them for these kinds of messages and this kind of amazing feedback and and it's a result of the hard work they've done it's a result of the programs I'm running ,

for sure , but it's a result of the hard work they're doing and this works , the building muscle works . It works to change what you see about yourself , and I'm going to talk about that momentarily , but I just want to share some of these messages .

One of them was I was putting on sunscreen and my bicep flexed and I was like holy shit , and that is so exciting to me . Like you look in the mirror and you see it and you're like yeah . Another was about flexing in the mirror while getting ready to walk the dog and losing it when I realized I could see my deltoids for the first time ever .

Like come on and then and look , who suddenly felt confident enough to wear this outfit and check out that leg definition . I mean those are the messages I'm getting from clients . Those are the messages I'm getting from real people doing these workouts , doing these programs , working on muscle building .

They're working on a lot of other things at the same time , but we are working on building muscle and you notice nobody in there was talking about getting big or bulky and I know I've had that conversation before .

And you notice nobody in there was talking about getting bigger , bulky and I know I've had that conversation before and actually I've had folks in my program say that they're getting over that fear . But in those celebratory texts they're actually celebrating the increase in size , the ability to see their muscle .

So I'm going to get into why I believe this is the ultimate cheat code and how it can help you . But I want to start with a caveat , and the caveat to this conversation is that there is so much more to life than loving your reflection .

I want to say that I feel like it's obvious , but I think it's important to say in any of these conversations If you were to meet me in real life or if you were to have a conversation with me , I believe that there is so much more to life than the look of your reflection . There is so much more to be happy about .

There is so much more to find fulfillment in . Let's get that like 100% clear from the start .

Let's also get clear that there's so much more to training and physical fitness than how you look , there is your health , there is your energy , there is your longevity , there is your athleticism , okay , and there is to like the way you look , but it can enrich your life , it can enrich your experience of life .

So , yes , I want you to be kind , compassionate , I mean you can do whatever you want with your life , whatever your purpose leads you to do however you want to interact with your time on this earth . But I also want you , if you want to , to enjoy the way you look .

And for some reason , there is messaging , or at least to me and I hate to always bring the conversation back to being a mom , but that's kind of the experience I'm living currently .

But I mean this for other women who are not moms but who are older than college age , and individuals who are not moms and who are much older , who are going through a different phase of life , like they're later in their career or they're entering retirement , or they're caring for elder relatives or they're in some sort of transitional place .

I believe that there is some point with women , that , and maybe we even do it with teenagers , but I feel like there's a certain point in the aging process and I know I experience it amongst sort of the messaging for moms that , like now , your purpose is greater than your appearance . Well , it's always been greater than my appearance , hello

. But secondly , that you can't want to look and feel good Like that's a selfish thing . We gosh , we put so many demands on women of , of you know , moms or not , moms , human beings . We put women in this place where they're supposed to like , uh , be . You know you're supposed to look perfect , but you're not supposed to like to look perfect .

I know I've talked about that all the time , but it's okay to like and want to like the way you look and I think that's important to remember .

I think it's important to remember that we are all living in bodies and there's no way that we get out of living in our body in this time on earth and when we do , it is one of the ways that we communicate about ourselves to the world . So it is natural . It is both natural and okay and really a lovely thing to say .

This is what I want to communicate about myself , with my body , to the world . So again , I know I've said it before I don't really like the thing where your body is the least interesting thing about you . We don't need to create a hierarchy of the things about you that are most important .

What I want you to know is that living in your body and your physical body as an expression of you is something that can be a really lovely thing . It can be a really lovely thing , and so give yourself a little bit of grace . On the whole , you care about how you look thing . You care about how you look .

I was the queen of getting into training and telling you that the last thing you should care about is how you look . I think that progression and that growth is a huge part of what drives me now , because I was so holier than thou , oh gosh .

If I could go back and temper her a little bit , I probably would , but she needed to learn , she needed to learn , and now I believe that we can have it all , and I believe that we can have it all and celebrate it too Doesn't also have to be a secret .

You can want to like the way you look and you can want to change the way you look Now , when we think about that . So we're past the point where we know that there's so much more to how you look , and I love an and and it's okay to care about it .

Now , I also think we have to acknowledge that the beauty standards that we have , whether they are , whether they are explicit or just like implicitly in our society , have been built on oppressive systems , systems designed to oppress certain people .

They also have been built out of a capitalist marketing strategy to get you to pay lots of money to change who you are . Maybe there's some hypocriticalness in me talking about this as well as like being a business , but we can't ever untangle ourselves from these webs .

But I'm going to be upfront about it , like the places and the people and the marketing that has asked you to feel bad about yourself has been more about them making money than really caring about how you look or feel Okay .

And so when we think about these oppressive systems and we think about this capitalist marketing , we have to be able to acknowledge that women have been receiving the message and language around shrinking their bodies in order to meet beauty standards for years and years and years .

I mean like that is so embedded in everything that we have been taking in in my lifetime , in my mom's lifetime and her mom's lifetime , probably beyond that too .

In those years , folks have been hearing women have been hearing that they need to shrink themselves and that the goal of achieving beauty standards is about shrinking yourself and about you will like the way you look and you will be a better person if you shrink yourself .

I think I feel very strongly that the reason why women over years and years and years , who have been chasing after that weight loss goal and reaching it , have not felt psychological satisfaction is because of the actual psychological implications of shrinking . Okay , so you did it , you got smaller . Where is the win in getting smaller One ?

You've been told that there's no small , that's too small . And secondly , you've been actively making yourself less through that whole process . So when you achieve that goal , you feel like less . I know that sounds a little woo-woo , but I think it's really true .

I think it's really true and that is why , for me too , both it's unsustainable from a health standpoint , because you've probably been restricting so many calories and not caring or nurturing your body , but also psychologically , you've been making yourself so small that there's a breaking point , and women have spent years and years yo-yo dieting and yo-yo exercising and

shrinking and growing , and shrinking , and growing , and shrinking and growing to the point where they've lost who they are their real body size and it never feels good . And maybe it feels good for a minute , you know there is like some sort of accomplishment at some moment , but it's quickly fading because you're starting to realize that there's less of you .

And I think that when we talk about building muscle , we start to see the psychological benefits of growing and reaching those growth goals and how , psychologically , that can make us feel better about the appearance of our bodies in the mirror . It blends effort , resilience , growth , confidence and more of you , literally more of you .

That's an incredible , incredible gift that you give your brain when you look back at yourself . And in so many ways that idea and that celebration reclaims size .

It reclaims the idea that size can be a good thing , that you taking up space and I know we kind of say that a lot now and it has in some ways sort of lost its meaning but truly taking up space , being a person who has energy and efforts and excitement that they bring to the world , is about size , it's about presence and I think that is something that

is so different than that shrinking goal . It's so , so different . And this isn't so cut and dry because I think if you were listening and you're like oh , but I still kind of want to lose weight . There's nothing wrong with a weight loss goal .

I think a weight loss goal or some kind of fat loss goal because I've spoken about that that tends to be a little bit more specific and a little bit more of what we can actually do .

When we pair that with building muscle , rather than do that as a separate entity , we accomplish some of that change in size goal with an expansion , with increases in health markers , because we get a ton of great things from building muscle . We don't only try to shrink ourselves .

We instead are trying to change and reshape our bodies , with an emphasis still on building that strength , building that resiliency , building that muscle . So I don't want to say that you can't have a weight loss goal , and you can also have a weight loss goal and not a muscle building goal , and you are perfectly capable to have that autonomy in your life .

I'm just going to say that I think this is where , if we pair those things together , we are empowering you at the same time , and I think that's an important part , and I think that any kind of goal where the only end game is shrinking yourself isn't deserving of you , it isn't deserving of you can be life-changing , and it happens in many ways .

And it's not just the reflection in the mirror , it's not but it , that piece of it is something so unique to the act of building muscle . It's so unique that literal , almost like souvenir from your hard work . I've put in this work and now I can see that my body has changed . It is . It's incredibly transformational . And there are so many other benefits .

There are benefits for your long-term health , for your ability to do the activities of daily living that you really enjoy , to reduce mortality , to reduce risk of falls , to maintain your quality of life as you age , to provide lots of energy in your life .

There's also just something so incredible about taking a second , looking at yourself in the mirror and not shying away from who you are and what you are building from yourself .

And I have seen it time and time and time again with my clients who follow these programs , where the effort is in focusing primarily on building muscle , primarily fueling your body for your performance , for your life , for your strength , and then we tackle all those other things and fat loss can be one of those things as we try to build a body that you like

the most and that you're proud of . And it's not as if we hit a destination and we never have feelings of self-consciousness again . We never have bad body image days . We never have thoughts that feel like they belong with some past version of ourselves who used to beat up on themselves or who used to think that smaller was inherently better .

It's not as if it just flips one day . You finally lift in your seventh workout and it is all gone . It's an ongoing practice .

I know I've spoken about that before , but it gets easier , and the act of building muscle and creating this new relationship with your body and how it looks fortifies you for a future where you are able to let a passing thought pass , live your life and still show up to this habit that has given you so much .

It's given you so much , so you feel , I think , so much more control and power over that , because you have decided that you are choosing to be in the driver's seat of what you build versus crossing your fingers , not eating enough and hoping you shrink to some perfect size . No , we're building .

We're building and , yes , there are places on our body that we might want to look smaller or look more defined or whatever that is . Those things can coexist in building the body that we are most proud of . But our primary goal is that strength and that muscle , and it's only going to make us feel so much better .

It's going to make us feel like more of the person that we deserve to be , and I think that's just so incredibly important and can't be said enough .

And my clients are seeing that they really are , and that , to me , is all I need , is all I need every day to keep going is seeing that people are seeing that change in themselves , that their mindset has shifted , that they are starting to love those muscles and that definition and learning that that's actually what they were looking for along the way .

And maybe that scale number , then , is dropping , and maybe it's not , but the shape of their body is changing . The perspective of their body is changing . They are loving the way they look , and it's happening from real physical change . I don't want to say that it's just your mind .

Real physical change is happening and we have given ourselves the psychological boost as well from how we are approaching this .

So it's amazing all around , because we're also fueling our bodies , and that's another story for another day and I'm sure I'll talk about it , but I just want you to know that if you are looking to walk up to that reflection or to see that picture from a summer vacation and feel better about it and feel more confident in it , and to feel the kind of

confidence and I think this is so important to feel the kind of confidence where your day does not revolve around how your body looks , you just know , you just feel it in your body , become so obsessive about it . There's a level of work that we're putting in that I know .

I have built an appreciation for my body , and so I go out and I live my life more fully without those kind of constant obsessive thoughts . That's what comes with this too no more constant obsessive thoughts , just a current of confidence that exists in all the ways you show up .

If that's what you're looking for , I encourage you to build muscle , and you can do that in so many ways . One of the ways is with my Built Bodies program .

It is a 12-week program designed to build muscle , help you reach fat loss goals , help you learn to support athletic and performance nutrition , the kind of nutrition that is going to help you build your body and feel your best and help you discover more about what you can love about your physical being .

Discover more about what you can love about your physical being . So I can't say enough about it and the kind of results that my clients are seeing . If you would like to get on the wait list , I will put the link down in the show notes . Again , there's obviously not , obviously maybe , but there is no obligation to purchase .

It's simply you're getting the information out early and I'm going to send an email in the next week or so with some tips and with the dates of the next time , because we'll start again in September and I just want to make sure you have all the info about that September launch .

And , of course , the folks on the waitlist get early access and get the best deals . So if that's something that you're interested in , you can go to the link in the show notes . As always , I'd love to talk about this or anything else with you . You can reach me via email , betsy , at BeFosterStrongcom . That's a letter , befosterstrongcom .

Or you can send me an Instagram DM at foster underscore strength . Okay , as always , I want you to go build your strongest body and I'll talk to you later . Bye .