Finding Food Freedom: A Healthier, Happier Approach to Holiday Eating

Now I'm sharing what I know with you fitness , nutrition and all the deeper stuff to help you discover your strongest body . Hello , hello , welcome back . I hope you're having a great day wherever and whenever you're listening to this . I'm excited about this episode .

We're talking about one of the topics that is nearest and dearest to my heart , which is finding food freedom , accessing and using intuitive eating to help you enjoy , find pleasure in food , as well as still reach your fitness goals . We're talking about that relative to holidays . Today , we're going to be talking about Halloween .

The reason I selected this episode is because we get to this time of year and I have clients in the past , clients currently , who express a sense of anxiety , a sense of dread when it comes to these holidays , like Halloween , which centers around food , specifically candy when it comes to Halloween , this immense feeling of loss of self-control around these foods , or

even just the notion that thinking about the holiday , thinking about what you're going to have , creates this tension of I shouldn't do this , I shouldn't want these , I shouldn't keep them in the house , I shouldn't eat this much of that or this . That stress creates a series of other problems that come out of it as well , as is an unfortunate way to live life .

That's what we're going to talk about today .

We're going to talk about relieving , eliminating or at least just getting rid of some of that stress , some of that anxiety , allowing you to really enjoy these moments that do center around food , without guilt , without stress , and then being able to move on , be able to move on with your life and still be able to prioritize your fitness and nutrition goals .

Having powerless and a lack of self-control around anything feels stressful , that is super stressful . It doesn't feel good to feel out of control . I want to validate those feelings . I want to let you know that many people feel that way . It is a product of how we learned about nutrition from a variety of different places in our life .

We don't have a lot of concern on anybody , but as we grow up , our ideas are formed around food , around health and in a lot of ways , for many people , we have created a dichotomy between healthy and not healthy that makes certain situations feel like we lack permission to enjoy things that simply taste good , that may not carry a ton of nutritional value , but

carry a lot of emotional value or bring us joy or pleasure .

One of the things that we know a little bit more now about health in general is that we have to understand it as a more complex and holistic picture , and while the literal nutrients that come into your body are very , very important , so is your mental and emotional state , and chronic stress and chronic back and forth treatment of your body in extremes is not

helpful . And we also know that there has been a sort of skewed paradigm as it relates to weight and health and that there are a lot of other things that go into the metrics that are important for recognizing overall health . We talk about access , we talk about financial limitations , we talk about socioeconomic status .

All of these things , that sort of impact how are the picture of our health ? So it is not to say that nutrition is not important .

We just now have a more nuanced understanding of nutrition as a whole picture , and that's what I'm going to hopefully give you a little more access to , at least your brain access to , so that you can make decisions that are both supportive of your nutrition , supportive of your health and supportive of your emotional and mental state .

So one of the frameworks that I find to be the most effective when really looking at prioritizing sort of holistic nutrition and a holistic , healthy lifestyle is intuitive eating .

Now , intuitive eating is something that is thrown around on the internet , like many things , as as a lot , of , a lot of different iterations , but it is an actual framework created by two registered dietitians that has evolved over time , and I'm going to link the book for you in the show notes . So they actually have a framework for this .

If you see an influencer sort of touting intuitive eating and I don't mean to knock influencers , certainly , but just some people have sort of bastardized that term to make it fit what they want it to be , and so then you've got these like fitness model style people highly restricting themselves , but but also saying that they eat intuitively , and it's confusing for

the general consumer . So I just want to note that these registered dietitians created this framework that has 10 principles for establishing an intuitive eating approach to your nutrition , and I think when people hear intuitive eating as well . They believe that that inherently means not caring about nutrition , not caring about nutrition , but that is the opposite .

What these women who created this approach establish is that we have to unlearn a few things about how we approach food , about how we approach nutrition , and then we put it into place .

That last principle is gentle nutrition , and that means thinking about the things that will help support our body , not in a drill sergeant kind of way , but in a way that thinks about the various needs of a human being but does also think about vitamins and minerals and satiation and the things we need for our muscles to grow .

So it is not just willy nilly , but it is about unlearning a lot of the psychological aspects of how we approach food so that we can make better decisions , decisions that better support us . So one of the other things that is important about intuitive eating is the principle giving yourself unconditional permission to eat .

What happens when we allow ourselves permission to eat anything and I'm not going to go into that whole you know the entire chapter right now but I will say , as it relates to this Halloween candy concept if you give yourself unconditional permission to eat all the Halloween candy , to go , buy all the bags you want , to lay them out , to eat them unconditionally .

What will happen for many people ? There is a fear that they will not be able to stop . Has that fear arisen because you still do put conditions on your ability to eat that , or you do psychologically assign it as a bad food , like I've used as an example before ?

If you were to say , you can have as many donuts as you want , do you think there'd be a point where the donut would stop tasting good , where the donut would feel like it doesn't give you energy ? I don't know if you've been like me before , but I've gone on vacation and when you're on vacation you're like maybe you are going from meal to meal to meal .

A lot of times when you're seeing people , it centers around meals and then they're richer and they're longer and they have more components to it , and by the time I get to the last day of my vacation , I am craving something bland , something fresh , something like more , like my routine foods , right ?

Because , yes , there is a certain sense of I'd love to have this thing , but how much of that thing is too much and we really get in our own heads about our ability to stop and say no or say I'm full , and that has to do with being out of whack with our hunger cues , with our fullness cues and with our satiation . So like , am I satisfied with this ?

Now , I know these all sound like good ideas and you're saying well , you can do this , but how do I do this ? So let's talk through

this . I posed this question , I posed a question , a couple questions to my email list . I posted four candies and I said If you had to give one of these candies away , I don't know why you have to . I'm not saying it's because you can't have candy , just saying you're only allowed to have three , which one you're giving away .

And I put in Snickers , kit Kat , almond Joy and Twizzlers . And I very quickly say to you I got rid of the Twizzlers , I don't like anything that doesn't have chocolate in it . There's not a candy in the world I'm going to eat that doesn't have chocolate in it . I just know that about myself .

I don't like the taste of it , I don't like the textures of most of those things . Doesn't work for me . I asked for my email list to respond . I also put a tiny note in there , a little note that says I didn't even put candy corn on so that you didn't have like an easy one to throw away , because who likes candy corn ?

Well , every single person that responded likes candy corn . So I apparently am in the odd one out . But people were kind of sending different things and , surprisingly enough , people like Twizzlers , which is also not my style , but , like you , look at those I tried to pick candies that have different textures , different flavors , different .

You know , each of them is a little different and if you looked at that , maybe you don't like all four of those things . If you don't like all four of those things , do you need to eat all of those things ? Maybe , maybe not .

Then I mentioned that I do have clients who have this stress around feeling a lack of control or feeling like they cannot keep certain foods in the house , and someone responded that they also feel that way , that they don't feel like they can keep those things in the house and that there feels like there's guilt around it .

And so what I want to share with you are a few tips for beginning to , and I want to remind you that , with all of these things , with fitness , with nutrition , we are on a forever long journey where , unfortunately , each day you're going to be dealing with making decisions , living with the consequences of those decisions , being happy with what the choice you made

, being unhappy with the choice you made , but making progress toward what is ideally a more , a gentler and more sustainable and more helpful for you approach to food and movement . But we don't ever land at a final spot . We're always still working on it . We're always still working on it . It just gets easier .

I want to let you know that I do not feel resistance around Halloween candy , not because I am so enlightened and I've reached this point . I've just worked on these things that I'm going to talk to you about , and then I also have really clued into the last one , which I'll get to , but I'm able to move on .

I'm able to move on and have the perspective that this is a long term game . So let me go through some of these tips for you to access that food freedom , to enjoy these things and still make progress to your fitness and nutrition goals . One is recognizing that there is a place for all foods .

You got to come around to that first , and all the hangups that you have on good and bad foods you've got to be able to mentally come around to that idea . If you are still feeling like some foods are bad foods or unquote , unquote , unhealthy foods , I have my my quote fingers going like crazy it's going to be hard for you to allow yourself to eat them .

What if you see them on a spectrum of more useful or more pleasurable , less pleasurable , more useful , more supportive , whatever you want to , however you want to put them , but learning , learning that that they all fit , that in some amounts they all fit , and allowing yourself to know that by feeling that way does not mean that you are neglecting your nutrition

these two things can coexist . There are so many things in life that we decide either or on , and things can coexist . My second tip for you is to fully commit to the holiday and experience . Say you know that this day is going to be a candy day . That's fine .

That also doesn't mean that I'm saying , go and eat more than you want or eat so much you feel sick .

I'm just saying like , let it be this , don't let your day be , oh , I'm going to eat candy and ruin everything you got to mentally be in a place where you can enjoy these things , because you're not reaping any of the benefits if you can't be present with the pleasure .

Now , this is where I think it's going to be more helpful for you and where you aren't going to feel like we're throwing out health . You're going to establish some boundaries or parameters , however you'd like to look at it around , how you're going to consume these treats rather than rules , and number one about these boundaries and parameters is limiting this .

Talk about sugar is bad , fat is bad , candy is bad . You're both going to remove yourself from situations where people are saying that and you're also going to not say that yourself .

You're not going to feed back into your brain this negativity , because one we know that a lot of these , like this idea that sugar is addictive is not a real thing , and that we have information to say that the effects on children and I'm going to tell you about this book , how to Raise an Intuitive Eater .

I'm going to also link that in the show notes but that we have more information that children who were told they're having sugar have more of a reaction than those people who just had sugar . Okay , because there are psychological elements .

Now I'm not saying that things don't impact how your body is working and your blood sugar and your energy levels and your concentration . I'm just saying that we have created a monster out of something that is merely a figuring out . What kinds of foods can we eat together to feel our best ?

But your children need to eat and your children actually need sugar , and your body gets sugar from a lot of places . That's another podcast for another day . But it's about limiting that conversation and it's about limiting that conversation for people talking about around you or around people you know , all that stuff .

The other thing , other boundaries and parameters we can use , include getting rid of the stuff you don't like . If you know you don't like that thing , get rid of it . I don't mean that you have to waste it in trash .

Maybe you have somebody that will take it for you , but if you feel like having it around and you don't really like it , we'll leave it there for you to eat later . Then get rid of it . You , when you tell yourself you don't have the control to keep something in your house , you don't . You don't have the control .

When you tell yourself you can't lift X amount of pounds , you can't . When you say you can't stick to the , you can't get this many hours of sleep , you can't . Why ? Because you don't have the control because you in your mind have committed to that you can't do it .

So of course you can't do it Now , do I think there are circumstances where if the stress of having that food around in your house is making things worse for you , it's better for you to get rid of it than get rid of it 100% . Just know that you can control yourself by limiting your idea that you will be out of control .

You're sort of committing to being out of control If you feel like your ability to think about other things , to listen to your hunger and fullness cues is interrupted and is disrupted by having that stuff around and by all means get rid of it .

Don't keep , if you know that you , if that stresses you out to have the candy there a week before , buy it and lock it up . Or maybe you don't have the candy and you luck out . If you get some at work , great . Or you get some from your kids' bags , great . But if it's having it there stresses you out , remove the stress .

You can keep things around and when you start to give yourself unconditional permission to eat , you do open yourself up to the opportunity of having foods in your home that you don't feel like you will always binge . But if that's not where you are today , that's okay , so you can remove that .

What we're trying to create is an emotional and mental state where you are not controlled by your food .

So if you love ice cream , then commit to going and getting the ice cream out rather than having it at home if that stresses you out , and then think about ways in which you can begin to give yourself unconditional permission later where you might be able to have that around .

But if for right now , that's not working for you , then certainly remove it from your home . Create less opportunities for you to feel bad , for you to be upset with yourself , because this is so much about how we think about these things and the choices we make based on how foods make us feel .

Another boundary or parameter that you can set up is how many days do you want to allow yourself to eat this ? Now , there are a lot of different approaches , but I look at with my own children .

I am using an approach that is like an intuitive eating approach for kids in Halloween candy , and there are a lot of different people who sort of create these kinds of things , or registered dietitians .

I always look at them and if they have an intuitive eating certification , I tend to go for what they're suggesting , because what I'm trying to establish for a lot of these things that we have to unlearn it's because we learned about it like this as kids .

So now I am trying to establish with my children that all foods fit , that we can have unconditional permission to eat , that we can create limits to things and there is a time and a place and all of this kind of stuff , and that we can focus on gentle nutrition , but that food is something that enhances our lives rather than creates stress and makes us hate

our bodies . So one of the sort of examples that people set out for giving Halloween candy to your kids is giving them open bag the first night . So on Halloween night you get home with your candy and they can eat as much of the candy as they want within the amount of time they have , after dinner , before going to bed or even before dinner .

Because it's about sort of learning when and how foods fit into your life and to help them actually understand that when you eat so much , it probably doesn't feel good and we can tell our kids that we can say like that'll give you a tummy ache .

And of course we want to spare children pain all the time , but they've got to sometimes experience that to know what their limits are . Oh , I don't like when I have too much of that .

So , giving them sort of that , that freedom on night , one , because they also might open things and if they're not big candy eaters regularly , they're actually testing and tasting and they might like some of something and not of another thing . And honestly , I've seen it .

You know maybe they're outliers , but with my own children they eat the candy and when they feel done they're done . Same thing with their dinners and all those kinds of things .

But giving them that sort of freedom to have whatever they want on that day and on the next two or three days , letting them have like , hey , when you wake up , if you want to pick one piece , have it this morning , and then I'm going to pack two pieces of candy in your lunch . Why don't you pick the two ? And that's what we're going to have for today ?

And doing that for the next three to four days until the , until the candy runs out or until you've decided okay , we've , we've kind of celebrated this holiday . Now , if you listen to that that's putting parameters around it . But it's not . It's not saying no , it's not . It's not limiting to the point where now all you're thinking about is that Halloween candy .

It's not restricting . Can you create those kinds of parameters for yourself ? Can you say , hey , tonight on Halloween , if I have access to some candy , I'm going to eat what I want tonight . Tomorrow is another day . I might have a few pieces left . Am I up for allowing myself to have two more pieces tomorrow and then be over it ?

Maybe I'll throw it away after the third day . Or maybe for you , you only want to give yourself that day , realizing that the harder and stricter the boundaries we create , the more there's opportunity to feel that sort of regret or whatever . But you decide what's best for you . Now think about that . How do we gain control by creating parameters ?

I feel more in control when I know what's coming up . So if I know that tonight I'm giving myself permission , but I'm also giving myself permission to have a little tomorrow , what changes about my decision making ? How do I feel more in control ? Then this next one put some wins and self-care pieces in place .

So let's say you are feeling a little stressed about the candy aspect . You're going to eat a lot of candy , whatever . Okay , you feel stressed about that . What can you put on your calendar on the 31st or the 1st that will help you feel better ?

That will sort of I don't want to say counteract , because I don't see those things as two things , that one is bad and one is good . But how do you help yourself feel better If this one stresses you out ? How can you add to your bucket ?

So , let's say , you want to add to your health bucket , you're adding to your pleasure bucket with your candy , but you feel like you're taken away from your health bucket . So how do we add to our health bucket ? Can you schedule a workout on the 31st ? Can you work out that day too ? Can you take a walk ? Can you make sure you get enough water ?

What are things that are total wins that you can put into place , that things that you can control , that you feel more in control of , not to say that this candy is worth this many calories of exercise . I do not believe in that . I think it's both .

I was going to say a bad word , I think it's bogus and I think that instead , how do we think about just ways in which we can add to our overall health .

And then , lastly , really important , let it be one day at a time . Let it be one day at a time . Realize that whatever you do on that holiday , whether it be Halloween or Thanksgiving or whatever let it just be that day . Let it be that day and then move on the next day . You get another chance tomorrow . You get another chance tomorrow .

If you're carrying over guilt , it's harder for you to feel that way . Let it just be this day . If you're stressed out and you're restricting , or you're restricting and then binging , it's going to do more damage over a long term psychologically than you just being allowed to give yourself permission and move on .

You don't want to be putting yourself in that cycle . One day or week or year doesn't ruin your life in terms of how you're , of the decisions you're making . We have long , ideally , we have long lives , especially when I'm talking about eating Halloween candy .

I know there are other things in which that could certainly you could take my words out of context , but when it comes to enjoying things like Halloween candy , let's focus more on what we can do in our days to accumulate wins . Think about it one day at a time . Let it be today and then move on .

In the same way that in another episode I approached sort of that concept of like your bad body image day Let it be , acknowledge it , don't try to force it away , and then let's move on . That's our goal here is being able to live our lives and not let these decisions control us .

Another thing I'll say is lately I've seen on the internet a lot about fit shaming the idea that you're focused on your fitness goals or your health goals and so you skip the second piece of pie or you skip Halloween candy and people around you are shaming you . I am a person who loves working out and really does take a lot of these things very seriously .

I've never experienced , I don't think , fit shaming , so I think it's a little blown out of proportion . But there are ways people knock people down in a lot of situations and I think some people are so . They have so much guilt and they haven't unlocked a lot of these things that I'm talking about today .

So they have so much guilt about their decisions , about them choosing to not work out or choosing to eat the Halloween candy , that when someone else doesn't do it , it feels like an affront to them . But it's more about what they're experiencing .

So I would remind you that if you feel like you are being shamed for your decision to skip something or focus on your nutrition or focus on your workouts , allow that to be something that speaks more to what somebody else is doing and come back to your values and decisions .

There are a lot of times where I go places , someone offers me a dessert and I don't eat it , not because I am not allowing myself to have dessert simply because I don't want that . Or someone is wanting to do something and I am going to go work out .

If I don't want to go do that thing , or if I'm not missing something important in my life , I am still going to prioritize my workout . It is not something that inherently means I disapprove of the things that other people are doing . Remember it's about what it works for you . Be comfortable in your decisions .

If your health and fitness decisions , like any of your decisions in life , are in line with your own values and you feel strongly about what your values say and mean to the way you want to live your life , then let people say what they say .

Sometimes you've got to learn that you're going to go to holiday gatherings and somebody's going to say something about the sugar or they're going to say something about how they notice you didn't eat this thing One . Please encourage them to find another hobby other than watching you eat . But otherwise it's more about what someone else is experiencing .

That's easy to say , but let it be . If you are deciding to skip Halloween candy because you don't want to , you owe no one an explanation . I'll just put that in parentheses . That tends to not be most people's experience , but I have heard it lately . I don't know if that's happening to you . I'm sorry it's happening to you .

Choose what works best with your values . Let me just remind you the tips that you're going to use . Whether it's for this Halloween or for other holidays , you're going to recognize that there is a place for all foods . You're going to commit fully to enjoying whatever it is you want to enjoy about this holiday or experience .

You're going to establish some boundaries or parameters that allow you into enjoy while also maintaining what it is you want to maintain in terms of your progress to your fitness , nutrition or lifestyle goals , rather than rules . We're talking about boundaries and parameters .

You're going to limit that talk , that negative talk about kinds of foods , about behaviors around kinds of foods , and you're going to limit your exposure to that . You're going to get rid of things you don't like . You're going to keep the things you do like .

You're going to maybe set some boundaries up about how much you want to have and how much for how long you want to have it , but then you're also going to give yourself the space for it not to go that way , because these aren't rules , they're simply parameters . They're structure that will hopefully help you feel better about the decisions you're making .

But nothing is hard and fast . Maybe you're giving yourself full permission one day , trying to limit on another day , getting rid of things when you're finished with them rather than leaving them around . But realizing that when you and your mind say you have no control around this thing , you are letting it happen .

You are creating that for yourself , at least making it worse for yourself . You're going to put some wins , self-care pieces in place . You're going to eat a full meal if you want to feel full before you enjoy these . You're going to figure out a time to work out if you want to work out , not in exchange for the candy , but in addition to .

You're going to add walks in or make sure you're hydrated , things that are adding to your health bucket . Lastly , you're going to let it be one day . You're going to let everything be one day at a time . All you can do is what you can do today and you're going to celebrate those daily wins .

This one has been kind of long because I had a lot to say , but I'll put those books in the show notes . I'll talk more about these kinds of nutrition topics and mindset around eating . If it's helpful for you in other episodes , just let me know . You can email me , betsy , at bfosterstrongcom , or you can send me an Instagram DM at foster underscore strength .

Remember about the giveaway . If you share the podcast , whether you share an episode on your stories or on Instagram or via text or email , simply screenshot that to me , send it to me . With each share , you're entered to win a $15 Starbucks gift card . You have until November 12th and I'm going to do the drawing for these on November 13th , as always .

Most importantly , I'm appreciative that you would listen to this . I hope it helps and until next time , go build your strongest body . I'll talk to you soon . Bye .