Creating Your Body Confidence Practice

Now I'm sharing what I know with you fitness , nutrition and all the deeper stuff to help you discover your strongest body . Hello , hello , welcome back to another episode of your Strongest Body . I hope you are having a great day so far whenever you're listening to this .

I think one of the things I like in podcasts I always say this is that I like that you get to know the host , but then when I start to do these sort of like , let me update you on my personal life . I never , ever know what to say , so we'll try it . When this comes out , it'll be May , which is great . I love the month of May . Why ?

Because I have Mother's Day and my birthday and it's just like a very fun month . I also get to go on a trip this May , I have some work stuff and then my husband and I are getting some time , so I'm just like really looking forward to the month ahead and it's been like sitting there on my calendar as like a shiny object for a while .

This past weekend was great . I got to go to a hockey game a playoff hockey game . I'm a Tampa Bay Lightning fan and we got to go and they won and the energy was great . But then I came home with a sore throat because I was screaming .

But the weather's been good , it's all rocking and rolling and at the same time , all those good things and then some days just are hard . Some days are hard , and so I want to validate that if you are feeling that Sometimes I get on here and I'm like everything is amazing .

Everything is amazing and there are still hard things every day , and so I hope that if you're having a hard time , things are turning around for you . I think about it as a coach a lot of times . I think that if you're having a hard time , things are turning around for you . I think about it as a coach a lot of times .

I think that the most important skill as a trainer or a coach is realizing that everybody has something going on , no matter who they are , where they are , what their circumstances are . What we see is only part of the picture and everybody has something going on .

So I just want you to know that if your workouts aren't going great or the food thing is stressing you out or you haven't had something exciting on the calendar , know that I understand and am here for you .

I decided that today's episode was going to be about body image because I've had a couple like a few comments come up with clients lately as well as just people asking me some things about sort of my , the way I developed , how I feel about body image and strength training and resistance training in general .

I mean , I got some lovely comments from somebody at the gym saying that they really appreciate the content and I know that it resonates for my clients . It resonates for me . I mean , part of why I have my belief system is because it fuels my own training and it supports me .

But at the same time , I want to acknowledge that shifting your mentality about body image and shifting your idea of what beauty and strength and the goal of exercise is is hard and it is a never-ending practice . Like they say with yoga and mindfulness , you have to have a body image practice too .

I believe it is something that you are unlearning all the time .

I usually have some kind of outline here where I'm going to go through the three or five points , but I thought I would just get on here and chat today because this stuff is kind of nonlinear and this stuff doesn't always have a system that we can approach it with , and so I thought I'd start with the idea .

Somebody asked me why this is so important to me the other day and the answer I have is this is so important to me . The other day , and the answer I have is since my mindset has shifted about training and taking up space and being bigger and being proud of my body , I can't unsee what was such a struggle before .

I can't unsee what was so difficult before . There's no turning back to me , which I think is really positive . I think it's such a huge motivator for me moving forward . But it doesn't mean that I still don't have to do work on it . So my background is in performing , did a lot of theater as a kid , did a lot of dance as a kid .

I didn't realize until much later in life and I have some clients who probably can really connect to this idea I would imagine I didn't realize till later in life how judgy performing arts was , but also how much it centered around the look and the desired appearance of someone , and that is the nature of it .

There's kind of a little bit no getting around it in terms of casting . People are fitting people into sizes and making sure that the look is right . I mean , that's what the film industry is all about . And then in dance I mean classical ballet , dance is all about the line and the aesthetic of the individual .

Now there is a lot of change around that and certainly there are sects of different dance that do not conform to that idea . But the dance world in general is very much about being smaller , about being leaner , about I wouldn't even say being leaner , because there's very little . There's very little priority put on muscle and strength .

I mean , strength is secondary to this sort of like light and airiness in a lot of cases , and that's I mean specific to ballet or in specific to my personal experience with it . So I kind of had always like been in that world and so to a certain extent there was always an underlying kind of concept of like .

If I can look like this underlying kind of concept of like , if I can look like this , I will be able to achieve this , and I think that's in every area of life , because that's kind of societally , what we create .

We create this idea that appearance to a certain extent is going to open doors in different capacities , and that's because we are in a fat phobic society and we prize the beauty industry in a way that puts some on a pedestal and some not .

So it's not only in the performing arts space , but it certainly was a huge part of my interaction with all of the hobbies that I liked . The hobbies that I liked , the things I liked doing always had a hint of . But this is the look , this is the look . Being smaller in dance is always applauded , especially for women , and that was hard .

And then I always loved exercising , but exercising especially when I started working in a professional setting for dance , exercising all the dancers were like using it as like constant calorie burn .

That was the focus of it and I fell into it too at that point because it was like that's what everybody's doing and if I want to be successful , that's what I have to do . Fast forward to really discovering resistance training and I start to see the possibility of strength being the goal . Yes , there are physique elements and I certainly train for that now .

I train for strength and physique , but there was a moment where I started to see the possibility of a goal other than how I looked and other than getting smaller in the gym . Other than getting smaller in the gym .

Really clear presentation of the way in which women from childhood are expected to shrink , are expected to take up less space are in every bit of language that we have around exercise and fitness and nutrition . It's about getting smaller . It's about that quest to be less and less and less . And she talks very openly about how men also have body image pressures .

But the body image pressures for men tend to be you need to be bigger , you need to be stronger . Well , that in and of itself is a psychological mind . You know what I'm talking about . It really can mess with you . So when I learned about that , it sort of truly opened my mind in a way I hadn't before .

And then I saw and felt the incredible benefits of strength training . I saw my muscles get bigger , I saw the numbers on the weights go up and I knew in those moments that I was meant to be more truly , was meant to be more , not less .

And even now , when I'm thinking about creating any kind of goal I have , even if that goal has to do with getting leaner in a certain phase of the year or something it still comes back to . I deserve to take up space , I deserve to be here , I deserve to be strong and capable , and any choice I make about my body is coming from that space .

And also , I don't owe an explanation to anybody , because I deserve whatever I want to do with my body . It's body autonomy , it's body autonomy . And I know that I am worthy , regardless of my size , so I can do whatever I want goal-wise because I know that I am worthy right Beyond my physical appearance .

And so then all that other stuff is just things I can play with and things that I like doing training-wise , and I have to regularly acknowledge that I got to check in with myself on these things Because I am thinking about the practice of being present with why I am making these body choices right .

I would be lying to you if I said that I never catch myself trying to make myself smaller in certain circumstances . I'm going to be honest , it's very infrequent , but that's because I put a ton of work into it , but I can hear that voice sometimes , or I can see those messages and check myself .

I can notice something really growing on myself and in a second go like , oh , am I getting too big ? And am I mad at myself about it ? No , no , what I do is pause , I try to reflect , I try to say , hey , you are fighting against years and years and years of societal and cultural concepts and you're doing it so well 90% of the time .

So like it's fine . It's fine . And I can look and say , oh , this is getting big in a place that I'm not really interested in . That . And I can acknowledge that two things can be true at one time .

Two things can be true at one time I can know my worth , I can know that my size , that being that bigger in any certain area , isn't a bad thing , and I can want something to be different at the same time .

I think we , I think and this you may relate to , this , I'm not sure but if you're like a high achiever , if you're a person who has been like programmed to get the answers right on the test , you're always searching for the correct answer , you're always searching to achieve I have good body image , and that's not a thing . That's not a thing .

There's no end point , there's no 100% on the test . There are constant waves of different thoughts and ideally , what we're focusing on is having a sort of running mantra , a sort of running belief in ourselves and about ourselves that takes up more space than the negative thoughts .

And then the negative thoughts what we're doing with them is we're kind of acknowledging them , we're sitting with them and we are hopefully in a place where we can just move on from them .

And then also , I want you to know that if you're having those thoughts , if you catch yourself going like I don't want , I'm feeling bulky or I'm feeling this way and you're slapping yourself on the wrist for it , give yourself a break . Give yourself a break . Here's another way we pick on women , right ?

We pick on women because we say now you're supposed to be , you probably have learned that you're supposed to be above your body . You're supposed to not like your body . If you want to be smart or capable , then you don't care about your appearance .

I'm sorry , I'm a whole ass person who both likes to add you know , or or just like feel , feel good about your body , feel good in your clothes , that you aren't less of a smart , capable , strong , uh uh , helpful woman , mom , friend , sister . If you also care about how your body looks , the question becomes who is telling you how your body should look ?

Are you the one that's making that choice ? How are you balancing societal expectations with who you are right now , with the realistic nature of body change and things like that ? See , it's not perfect , it's not neat and , if you like , neat and tidy in categories . This isn't going to be easy , but it's going to be sort of like an ongoing practice .

An ongoing practice so not getting listy , because I don't really have a great list for you per se

. The things I think you should focus on are creating your deep philosophy about bodies and their worth and you as a human being . Somewhere , if you are a religious or spiritual person , you may have these beliefs within your system of beliefs already and you want to fine-tune them for yourself , or you want to come up with your own philosophy for yourself .

Then I want you to come up with a strategy for the moments where you veer off course , the moments where you're like I felt this way and I didn't want to feel that way . You might call them bad body image days , bad body image moments , negative self-talk , whatever that is .

You want to come up with a strategy A strategy to maybe acknowledge the thought , maybe to check in on where it's coming from , because sometimes , if it's pretty consistent and or it's pretty persistent , you might need to check in on where it's coming from and change something about your environment . Are you around people who are making you feel this way ?

Are you taking in a lot of media that's making you feel this way ? Are your workouts making you feel this way ? Whatever it might be , check in for yourself and then allow yourself to move on . Come up with a strategy for letting the thought be there and still participating in your day .

Letting the thought be there and still going out with your friends , letting the thought be there and still going to work out whatever it is . Finding a strategy for that . And then , lastly , finding a strategy for being unapologetic in whatever you choose to do with your body .

I think this is one where I , years ago , would have told you like I have improved my body image , I've improved my feelings about my body and I am above having feelings about my body , you know , because it doesn't matter , and I don't think that's realistic . And if that's you and it's truly you , then great .

But I think that what we've asked women to do to a certain extent is undo all the cultural learning and then in that , in being this elevated , this woman , above your body , you don't have feelings about how you look . I'm calling bullshit on that .

I'm calling that you can be a whole woman and have feelings about how and what and what you want to do with your body and what you want to do with your body . And I think that comes a lot from this like sort of shame-based , puritanical , I don't know belief system , and by all means I don't mean to pass judgment on it .

I just think that I think the expectations of women are untenable and unrealistic . Untenable and unrealistic .

And I think if you have lived your life feeling like like in order for me to have a good body image , I have to actually not care about how my body looks , you might still be then struggling , because both of those things can be true at the same time .

So , coming up with a strategy for like , being unapologetic in what and how and who you want to show up in your body , and those are three really big tasks that don't fit into a tiny list and are honestly a practice , are honestly a thing that's going to come up day in and day out , and how you show up is up to you , but I would encourage you to show

yourself grace , to understand that you're only a human being and to know that , no matter who you are and what you are right now , no matter where you are in this journey , no matter where your body is in this journey , you are so worthy in this moment and you are more than just one category of things . So I want you to know .

I guess my biggest takeaway is like this is never ending . It's never ending , but it doesn't have to be painful . That's a big part of it . This is a practice for me , but it's really a joyful practice . A joyful practice of redefining what beautiful is , redefining that big and space and growth is my big goal .

It is joyful to know that I can have moments of struggle and move on from it , and that any moment of struggle I'm having about my body is something , is a way that my brain is communicating to me that I got to check in and then I am so joyful in discovering who I am that is also my body and being proud of my body and feeling good in my body without

shame . That's an incredible thing , and I live and I don't know if it's getting older , is doing it for me or something like that , but , like you know , I'm showing up as me , more and more like me , unapologetically like me , every single day , and part of that is is creating this . You know deep and appreciative body image practice .

So that was a little rambly , but I hope there are some nuggets in there that you can take away and if you have questions or you want to talk more about it , you know where to find me , betsy , at BeFosterStrongcom or on Instagram at Foster underscore strength . As always . Thank you for listening . I hope this helps and I will talk to you soon .

Until next time , go build your strongest body . Bye .