¶ Introduction and Trial Hardships
This episode contains graphic descriptions of violence and sexual assault that will likely be disturbing for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.
🎵 Music
Amen.
Four years ago, I drove up to the Smart Family home in Stockton to interview. Smart for the first time. Kristen's siblings, Matt and Lindsay. Didn't know who I was yet, and didn't participate in the original run of episode.
🎵 Music
I finally sat down with all four of them, this time in my living room, to discuss their thoughts and feelings about how the last 27 years have played out, and how they're dealing with a resolution that's still something short of closure. This is my conversation with the Smart Family.
🎵 Music
Well I'll just talk about the trial a little bit. What was the hardest part of the trial for each of you?
It was uh interesting. We knew very little, my wife and I, uh I believe I'm correct on this, regarding uh criminal justice and criminal justice is justice for the criminal. and uh regarding their civil rights that you look out for and not for the deceased person, our daughter. And the defense in hand, when I took the stand, I was accused of being the predator of being threatening because I'm tall when I went out to visit and try to dialogue with him.
And then also uh you know, since I put out posters regarding our missing daughter, the the only thing is, uh all of these things were very natural reaction from a father That has a missing daughter. I mean there was nothing unusual there, but they tried to turn the tables and say I was responsible for my daughter being missed.
So uh we learned a great deal. It was a long time to sit on hard benches, even with cushions, and the uh pretrial went many, many weeks, it seems like it was near four months. And it's just more days and I I still question why there were two juries, one for Paul and one for Ruben. I think it would have been More cost effective and maybe more effective to have only one one uh jury rather than two passing judges.
Both sides did not have quite the same information there was a little bit of a difference or there was no not able to hear everything.
Pretrial felt like it would never end, and having to listen to the defense team blame your daughter for her death and disappearance. was extraordinarily painful. um and know that they have the knowledge of what Paul has done in the past and continue to do until he was arrested Having that knowledge and still protecting him was was was so hard to sit in the courtroom knowing that they had all the information, yet they chose to blame Kristen for her own disappearance.
Blatant, blatant policy to dehumanize Christon Whether it was singer or was music That was the policy. Dehumanize, dehumanize, dehumanize. About as vile as you could share was was Mesink saying, How many how many gallons of fluid would you expect to find? You you don't you don't quantify people in volumes of fluids. You don't. Absolutely tasteless.
That's just a hideous, crappy way to practice law. Really is. I don't think he won over anyone, made any friends when it was well how many gallons we continue to fight for because of individuals like that who are more than happy to take a dollar? For any unthinkable cause.
But I look at it like when I played water polo and I didn't play all that well. You splash water in the opponent's faces,'cause that's all you got. There was a lot of splash in the water. There was a lot of white noise. Cause when you got nothing, you got nothing. And they had nothing. But it but disparaging an individual who's already paid the ultimate price of death, I guess part of the process?
But the upside of that was seeing our team so effectively deal with the defense and watching the jurors and their intensity and their patience.
¶ Justice Denied and Lingering Memories
And that's what really kept hope alive that our prosecution team and the jurors were attentive and on on task every day and all we could do is just show up and be there. So In reality we had the easiest job, they had the hard job, and in the end their efforts were You saved many women from Paul Flores.
The preliminary hearing was interesting and that's when I realized like how much I hadn't processed. So I think I attended probably half of it. But the hardest part for me to listen to was was and similarly with the actual trial There were so many witnesses that came forward to talk about like essentially that the last party she was at, the last time they saw her, from the lens of like fifteen different people. This is what she did in her like now knowing last hours of her life.
from like fifteen different perspectives or more. That was like wild. Like imagine you lost someone you love and then you go back to like twenty seven years earlier and find out what they did for like the last day of their life through fifteen different lenses. was like a surreal experience. Like
hearing all those details that I never had known, you know, was like helpful for closure but also like really, really hard to hear. Harder than the later half of the trial which was all the evidence based information about like what how she was likely murdered, what happened. It was almost harder to hear like all the specifics of the So I think through the prelim almost set me up so I could feel good enough to attend like the trial, the entirety of the trial because
I hadn't processed a lot, you know, like I'd almost like put it in a box, put it away, and then I'd like open the box. Yeah.
The time away from your kids is time that you'll never get back. And if you stop and think about that, time is fleeting. I'm not gonna be able to get that time back, but it's so important as as we told my kids that I be able to be there for the truth of the matter, the substantiative facts offered to fill in the blanks of things that spent twenty seven years wondering about. But other than the kids really just watching the burden on on your family of day after day the the slow grind.
Whether it's on your sister or on your parents, it's indescribable. The whole thing was tough, but the the toughest thing really was watching uh Ribbon walk free.
It it seems ludicrous to me that you could be the parent or someone hiding a person that has been murdered and only receive a sentence if found guilty of three years and in California may be only serving a year and a half. Which does not make sense to me at all. I'd like to have somebody explain to me how that is reasonable and fair. I don't believe you could do that no matter how you look at it. If it happens to your family or your wife or your child.
then you will see it differently, losing a life of someone precious to you, and more time would be more reasonable.
Twenty five years is less than what Kristen has lost. Twenty seven years of her life We lost twenty seven years of normalcy in our life. Where he lived for twenty seven years in the prime of his Mm.
What are the moments that really stand out? You know, what do you remember a long time?
Thinking back to, you know, for example the kitchen and receiving the first, you know, week or two of phone calls, you're you know, a sophomore in high school. Just, you know, trying to trying to do your own thing, from having a map up in the kitchen and push pins to be able to show where tips have come in or calls have come in to where she might be, could be.
To taking a trip to Cow Poly and watching Paul Flores at a seventy six gas station, run inside the office, lock himself in there and hop on the phone in the corner. to declaring her death in uh, you know, two thousand I think it was two thousand one or two thousand two. It's one of those things where it it goes by really, really quick, but in those moments it does stick with you.
The memories that stand out to me over the years I mean my parents telling me they don't know where Kristen is. they had that conversation like our kitchen in Stockton. Another memory is writing in my journal when it had been a week and I was like scared and I wasn't very vocal with how I felt with other people so that w was like the most telling sign'cause I wrote my journal one week.
And then another standout memory was like I remember coming home from school once and there was like they were live filming that was weird being in my house having lunch and they're filming outside of our house. That's just like a standout memory.
Also having not having my sister at my eighth grade graduation, obviously. I went to Arizona State for the coaches and also because it was furthest away from my family and I I wanted to live my life and I know they were nervous about me going to college.
Then I went to the school that I always wanted to be at, which was UCLA. But in between that, Arizona State and UCLA, that's actually when the memorial happened for my sister. My mom didn't even tell me it was a memorial. She literally was like, We're going to Pismo Beach for the weekend. And then I get there and my best friends Alana, Robin, and Jacqueline were all there.
and I had no idea why they were there and we were all wearing Hawaiian dresses and I remember taking pictures and then the next thing I know and it almost was like a bad dream, the whole thing that weekend, is like we were in a church and it was like her memorial. I like couldn't process it and I would just like non stop cry. Yeah. And so that's probably what I was tricked into. I feel like we need a redo so I know what I'm walking into.
For like twenty plus years I just didn't go here and I didn't hear about it'cause my parents didn't talk to me about it. Progress towards justice It was like silence. period of time which things were happening and my mom didn't tell me the specifics but they weren't significant. Mainly it was like a lot of silence for twenty years. I don't really think it came like, you know, having a significant moment wasn't until
your podcast happened and how I heard about it. I was at a work off site and one of my former bosses of bosses was there and she's like, Oh, I just heard
My friend w told me about this amazing podcast and I listened to it and I didn't realize it was about your sister. And she was asking me all these questions because she knew probably more than me at that point in time and it was interesting I I didn't realize that it was like that was the first time that other people felt the pain that I had like carried for so long about all the mishaps.
¶ The Podcast's Impact and Renewed Momentum
Big changes in the last four years. Detective Clint Cole and others that have assisted have made a big difference along with the DA's office taking action now. Uh it's it's been wonderful.
Four years ago there was still a little optimism and that has changed over the last four years. It seems like the confluence of the efforts of Clint Cole and yourself. It's kind of a meeting of the minds when they say Two heads are better than one. That reciprocity to work together built optimism. As you know, when I write to you I always say there are no words. That remains true to this day.
I remember the sheer excitement of my uh of my parents warming up to you and the idea of being able to rally support, but I think no one fully understood. uh the groundswell of support, the sheer number of listeners and what this would grow into. Which ultimately ended up being one of the biggest breaks that Kristen's story could have gotten in bringing quite literally millions of listeners to the forefront.
And getting individuals to be able to see the puzzle for the first time really in full, in a way that was digestible and meaningful to them in their own home, their own pace. And as my parents presented it was hey, there's this guy. Super nice, he's young. He uh you know, drove drove by the the famous billboard in front of the James R. Murphy Law Office and really wants to help out. And if you want to participate, you can participate.
So many folks over the years have wanted to write books and do movies and really enrich themselves. But I think the pureness in which uh You had approached the Christian's case and not wanting to monetize it but rather tell the story? And to tell the story in a way that it hadn't been told. And it's it's magical when that sort of happens and seeing the organic way that you and Mom had met and seeing the result of that has to be just so rewarding.
But for the family as my parents call you, the fourth child Or to me a brother? That uh that's a really cool thing where where I don't I don't know if we would be where we are now. Um with mom and dad alive being able to have sat there through the prelim and the trial and gotten us to where we are without the work that that you I have a real appreciation for the art that you've crafted and being able to tell the story through a podcast.
And I think Kristen as well would uh would really feel that her story was done justice with him.
It'd be uh hard to uh add to that. So, you know, you've been able to uh bring Kristen to life for millions of people, people that have listened in on the podcast. It's an ongoing story, it's not over with yet, is uh others and you have mentioned and it'll be a while before there's resolution, although it'll never bring back our daughter. So uh we're missing her greatly and that'll never change.
When people when you say, How many siblings do you have? Well, I have two. Well I have a brother and a sister. Oh, how old's your sister? Well, she went missing you know, like every time someone asks you about your family, you decide like
Do I tell the truth or do I just like mention some of the family? Otherwise I've gotta get into this whole rabbit hole about, oh my sister's missing and we pretty much know who did it and nothing's happened and For me, like it was embarrassing that we didn't have justice, which I don't know if embarrassing the right word, but I was embarrassed that we had all these facts.
law enforcement didn't solve it right away. But here we are like I could clearly describe without all these specific details what happened and like there still was no justice. So But she di she d well, see, I even say she disappeared, but she was murdered. But sh in my mind at that point, she disappeared when I was about to have eighth grade graduation and I just assumed like I had a journal and I just assumed she went on
Maybe like a trip with her friends, but after a week went by that seemed a little bit odd'cause we talk all the time. Then a month went by I remember being like Pretty obviously still really sad. And at that point in time I did write in the my journal a lot and every time I was like miss you, Kristen, or come home Kristen, like shoes forever in my mind, like and my all my thoughts.
And she still is, but I it was I like wrote it down so I could see it years ago, which was interesting to see. Um so yeah, I changed. everything, but we were guarded, like my mom said, or she protected us from the information so we could like live as normally as possible.
I I think when you look at what what my parents did is the same that any any parents would do, whether it's dad showing up at Rubens House to be able to have a a chat. And from a leadership perspective I think he did everything right. You know, he he showed up, he parked on the opposite side of the street and attempted to have a conversation with the father of uh Paul Flores. But to have someone say, you know, better leave or I'm gonna shoot ya it only raises the level of suspicion.
So now that I have, you know, kids of my own, my wife and I, would I do things different than mom or dad did? No. And I look at what my dad was able to do holding down a full time job, constantly commuting down there. And somehow my parents, the family, um, were not torn apart, which is pretty remarkable.
But I looked with such a sense of pride that my dad was able to keep it together, and Mom was able to, you know, keep Lindsay and I life life going as as one would hope. They they both had a huge task just trying to keep normal for us. Man, being a parent and and looking back at what my parents went through wouldn't wouldn't wish it upon anyone.
When did you sort of feel like the momentum was starting to finally pick back up again? Like when do you when do you remember thinking it's about to be solved or
Well Addie, my youngest daughter was born march thirty first, twenty twenty, and around that time that's Uh so right before that I'cause I just remember hearing a lot of rumblings of things that could happen around Addy being born and my mom saying, I don't think I can handle both.
Yeah.
a granddaughter and a lot of action at the same time, which I'm like, bring it all on all the time. Let's get moving forward. So that's what I remember. That's like what my
The number of individuals from really all walks of life that in the most casual way connected to the smart family really started to come out of the woodwork. when the podcast got out there in a way that I would have never predicted. And when people you haven't connected with for years are reaching out out of the blue That's telling, because that tells you the story is getting to those it needs to get to.
I always wanted that story to get in front of those fraternity members that were there that night, to get in front of those party goers that were there that night, to get in front of college students that had attended Cow Poly at that time. Because those were the individuals that needed to come together and To be able to give this case the weight that it needed to go to And as we ultimately saw at the prelims
A lot of those folks came through and came through in a big way. They got up there, they told the truth. It was all there, but it was literally there in boxes stored away in a storage locker. Whereas mom says if you were lucky, you know, once every couple months you were checked in. Hey, we pulled a couple documents. Hey we'd had a meeting. Hey we'd had a coffee chat. The moment the moment for me was was when friends and family were like, you gotta listen to this, you gotta listen to this.
¶ Family's Journey and Coping Strategies
But I didn't want the memories that I have um, you know, any different than they were. So I you know, dabbled here, dabbled there, but at the end of the day w had so much um life brought back to me in seeing how many other folks could connect to that.
You know, it took us like or took me like tw twenty plus years to come back here and I didn't come back here until they're like getting closer to arresting him. Um But then when I've been back here and like how welcoming the community is and like how thoughtful they are and like how caring like
I have like I feel like I've a love a hate relationship with the community'cause it's like the worst thing ever happened to my family and myself here. But then the community is so amazing and there's so many amazing people that just like show up all the time who m you know, who've helped make this horrible thing Or even this place that I didn't want to ever go to very welcoming. So like, you know, my sister crossed paths with the worst person.
ever who's done the worst things and continue to these horrible things. Luckily not doing horrible things now'cause he's in prison but we would have never we would have never met you. Which uh you've you know, all you've had like the best intentions from the start. And I know you were gonna ask me about like what did I think when I heard they're doing a podcast. my mom, you know, for like, I don't know, twenty five years, said yes to everyone and any anyone willing to help her.
And it w there wasn't a lot of people offering to help in the beginning. The uh I don't know how much the community was there either in the beginning. Probably because of the narrative around women at that point in time if something happened to them. But she said yes to everyone. So sh my mom and my dad said yes to psychics. Yeah you know, I remember coming home from like high school and there was like a psychic at our house and I'm like, what is happening? Or coming home and
the news is like videotaping our house talking about my c sister's case or literally anything they could do to get the attention or get direction or get guidance or get literally anything they could do to bring my sister home or You know, my dad leaving on weekends and coming here looking for her. I think he was looking at like
hi it was a a garbage run or something and it was like Stan Smart looking for his daughter's remains and they crossed paths with s a lot of really great people. They also crossed paths with a lot of people with the wrong intentions.
And so when I knew you were gonna ask me like, what did I think when I heard they're doing a podcast? They didn't even tell me Because they said yes to so many things, I don't even think they they definitely didn't tell me all the things they said yes to. I would just see them and run into'em. Um And had I known they were gonna do it, I'd probably say'cause I
While my mom says yes to get all the help in the world, I put up like fifty shields or like I'm so gated that I would I'm like reserved and I'd probably say no to everything, you know. I so I probably wouldn't have said go for it, you know.
'Cause it's a really isolating thing to grow up where a family member is just no longer here. I mean there's no no greater conversation stopper for so many than Because that's just not normal. And growing up in that sort of environment, incredibly isolating, but all of a sudden people were able to talk about it, people were able to engage because they were able to associate in a way that they hadn't previously. But it made for a very interesting childhood where you uh you grew up very
And my brother and I I think you can like take two paths, you know, you can be depressed and do nothing or you can be determined and do everything. And so we took the path of being determined and doing everything. So like I was like a four point oh student and I w we both swam at Olympic trials. I was in high school when I swam at Olympic trials. I was like determined. I I like worked harder in everything I did. It's probably a way of processing the grief like
I just tried harder, worked harder. And so I got a lot of accolades probably from like the horrible thing that happened. Instead I like used it for the good. Um but in college it was interesting.
'Cause I went to UCLA and there was this path that was called Rape Trail and it led up to my door. It's like this hill and there's these apartments and like it's a trail and that's what they call it. And you can get to your door like your apartment really quickly if you walk through the trail in the dark or like walk around. And I just would like walk through it.
dunno, I just wanted to get home. I just hoped it didn't happen to me. I still like live my life. So I didn't like stop living my life. Where my brother, he went to college in our hometown. because like he probably w didn't feel safe to leave, you know, and he went he was a couple of years older than me so he went, you know, to school to college sooner. Where for me I was like I have to get further away, I have to live my life
where my mom I know was like having obviously a hard time now. Her daughter's leaving and she'd like call me every day and we're like best friends and I like ignored her. She had to be able to like let me go. You know, and so I knew I was like hurting her feelings and all my best friends will call and be like, Your mom's like crying and I'm like this is like a growth opportunity for her to like let go.
¶ Matt's Realization and Kristen's Character
So but yeah it's obviously changed my path.
Do you remember for you personally the moment that it really sunk in for you?
Going with your parents down to Calpoli, where you had left your sister. and finding her her makeup bag, finding her her personal effects, everything there. Coming to understand that, you know, dad went and got her only mode of transportation, her bike. That's really where to me it became very real.
When the person's only mode of transportation their bike is still locked up, when their only mode of paying for anything, their wallet, their one credit card and their, you know, couple dollars in their wallet are sitting there on the desk. They only have the clothes on their back. You start to see those things People don't disappear. They just don't. And early on, seeing the silence from the Flores family.
The resolute silence that continued and continues today twenty seven years later. So telling. Think about that. Your sister's missing. The only suspect in their family is uncooperative, taking the fifth. It it it left a really gut gut wrenching feeling with you. Just eerie. But where it was was finalized was I remember the one week where my parents said, Look, we're gonna have to declare her legally dead.
And that was a real turning point for me because it was a legal formality, but it was an acknowledgement of her no longer being.
When I went up to Stockton that first time, my whole goal was I wanna know everything about it. I wanna know like what music Kristen listened to. I wanna like see her old bedroom. By the time I left Stockton, I felt like I had lost a friend.
Right.
It was like I f I felt like I got to know Kristen so well that I almost forgot she was Yeah.
Right.
And then she was the only one not there. She was the only one that didn't show up and it was like I think that was what really roped people in initially was like they felt like they they had a friend. And and I did too, you know.
I mean I think the way you described it like like you lost a friend I mean I think my sister brought like She was just really warm like really warm and welcoming and caring and like
I described her.
obviously in the trial is like my biggest cheerleader. So hearing that I mean it just reminds me of like what I lost, you know. I mean, I didn't know who I was in eighth grade or like what I was doing. Or what was next, you know? But she was like always building me up, complimenting me, you know, you've movie star smile, beautiful teeth, you know, and like obviously being self deprecating on herself'cause she thought she had a gap in her teeth. She was she was a movie star, you know.
And like while she had like so many accolades and like did so much, but like what I remember are all the small moments. I didn't want to go to swimming'cause Stockton gets really cold in the winter. It's like thirty two degrees, but I don't know. Somehow my par my mom and her motivated me to go and like and then I'm back and
She made me like fun.
Feddy cake, which I like loved, you know. Or just like when I was at swim meets and when I was done.
Racing or
Like got a new best time. She was like the first person there with a towel, you know. It wasn't even my mom, it was my sister. And like she was a she was a good athlete. My brother and I were just so competitive. It didn't matter that she like wasn't winning, like we were winning. She was like still our biggest fan. So like she wasn't like she wasn't competitive like we were. She was like our biggest supporter.
¶ Next Generation's Understanding and Verdict Day
You know? But I think the way you described her when you said she was the way, you know, like her friends described her, my family, just like It made me feel like I had like a warm hug or something, you know.
Tell me what your kids know about.
Kids are a lot more savvy than we give them credit for. They uh they pick up on a lot of nuances, especially uh in ways that we uh don't want to share emotion. They do a wonderful job of reading emotion. And with our kids it's no different. They uh they are on top of it. And as much as we might try to hide that, uh, you know, mommy and dad are going off to
to court to put the bad guy away, as we uh coined it. They uh you know, they knew if it was a good day or if it was a tough week or a tough month. And there's really no hiding it, and that's where I think especially with our older child Ella, it's being more open, honest and transparent as as you would with an adult, you know, hey do you have any questions? And being able to address those rather than those uh questions going unanswered or answered by someone else.
Sometimes you miss an opportunity to help your kids grow as individuals, and as parents we can only screw them up. But if you're able to make them better, man, what an opportunity. So we we've chosen to take the tact of Really just trying to you know, if the kids have questions, talking with them and encouraging them to ask questions and be curious.
Because it's so important that especially when you're younger and you're you're crafting who you're gonna become as an adult, that those important questions don't go unanswered. So we've we've had a lot of moments and a lot of deep discussions.
Well they know her name's Auntie Kristen, her nickname's Critter. Kenley, my oldest is very curious though. If they truly knew all the specifics now, I think I would have nightmares as a child. So I like try to I want them to know about their aunt and how amazing she was. But I also don't want them to know Speaking of the devil. Hi Kenny.
You wanna do an interview?
Kenny, what do you know about your anti-Christin?
Well I know that a lot of things have Justice for Kristen on them because I have a guitar pick and on the back of it it says Justice for Kristen and a lot of other things that I've seen like rock like things that say justice for Kristen, even signs. I know that she was a good woman and she died when she was nineteen. The man that killed Kristen is in jail now and we want good things to happen to Kristen's spirit.
Do you say I love Krista?
Good morning.
She is smart and skilled. She is kind and justice for Chris.
Let's go get the car.
We're gonna go to a park and they're gonna
I'm gonna make this like Cast.
October eighteenth, when the juries both came in to deliver their verdicts. And Paul's Um foreman gave the verdict first and when they said guilty I was I couldn't I couldn't believe my ears. And then when they said to the first degree, I just My whole inside just like melted. I just couldn't believe after twenty six years Kristen's voice had finally been heard, and the perpetrator was found guilty. There were just no words for that day.
When my brother sat next to me and my mom was on the other side, my dad was on the other side and this is before they read the verdict and we had our like arms linked together and then when they said he was guilty, I just said like yes and we like kinda squeezed our arms together.
because it was like the validation and the accountability. It was like we won something but we didn't win anything. No one ever wants to be in a position to learn the murderer is now getting sentenced, you know? Like that's not a happy thought. But it was just like what we always had known was true and there was like it was almost like validation.
And as I've told my own kids, it's no different than someone going up to the forest for their first time and standing there. And and that that moment is when you can hear the wind through the trees. That moment is when you can hear the rustling of the leaves on the ground. Those are tangible moments. that can never be taken away from you. And when I look at this moment, this is something that can never be taken away from my parents.
And to look where they are now and even speaking to them last night, the world seems so much friendlier to them and just joyous, and that's the validation that's the emphatic validation where the empathy is jury of the peers agrees with us. And in a meaningful, enduring way that's memorialized on the record. To see them experience that for me personally brought me such joy in knowing that in their lifetime something big happened.
How cool is this that that mom and dad were able to be here, you know, today and and that today was as you know, October eighteenth of last year. We didn't know if they would be here. We didn't know if, you know, the right team would come together. Did it bring the closure we were hoping for? No, but it brought us way closer. To the closure that we're aiming for, we
Can you talk about the process of writing your victim impact letter and then what it was like to read?
¶ Victim Impact Statements and Calls for Legislative Change
I'm not sure which was more difficult reading it aloud or writing it. I needed to reflect on on who we had lost and what she meant to us and just thinking about the last day that she lived. I always I would say for at least eighteen years, maybe nineteen, I always told myself that it was an accident, and that he was afraid to come forward, because it was an accident. But as I wrote that letter and reflected
on that. If it had been an accident and we were dealing with the normal person, he would have called for help. He would have called for an ambulance. But he chose To not value our daughter's life. And I think that was Something that I just had to get into my letter that that thought of her in her last moments of her life with someone like him was just very, very difficult. And I knew when I was writing it that my anger was building. And when I went to read it.
I had to make a conscious decision that as I read it I was not going to share my emotion with him. I did not want my emotion to go into his ears. I want him to hear some of my f frustration, my fear. And my anger with having to live this life for twenty six years, knowing what I knew and having So few people early on listen or value her life. Every human being deserves to be heard and there were so many people who refused to listen to me, to listen to Kristen's voice.
Reflecting on this time is really, really difficult. The longevity of twenty seven years that we never get back, twenty seven years that Kristen did not get to live. And yet there there's no one accepting responsibility.
It was our daughter that died, and here we are to expose ourselves, in other words, our innermost feelings and thoughts. to the Flores family and they've shown actually no interest at all in uh our daughter's death, and they know where she's at, her remains. They know Paul did it. And so it was difficult for me to write something to be read. I tried to follow the guidelines. The impact letter was to be written to the judge.
And so uh I had written it in two parts but each time to uh re reiterate to the judge that uh Paul should not be given an opportunity to uh have parole in the future that he has damaged many, many lives. And he has taken the life of our daughter. And Paul did not face us, he faced the judge face forward, he had on a mask. He was allowed to wear a suit.
And to think that he only received in first degree murder twenty five years to life, and hopefully it will be life, but I'm pleased that we made some progress. I think the Flores family uh they're at somewhat of a loss, although I don't think the father had very much in the way of uh feelings for the son and his situation. He was more concerned about his own. And uh somehow he slipped through the net of responsibility for having our daughter buried next to his home under the porch.
That's a sad commentary. But uh the impact letters are important. I'm glad there's an opportunity for people to do those. It was very emotional, emotional experience for me to get up there especially after watching the video my wife had put together, we put together years ago.
showing our daughter as a uh young girl and growing into a beautiful young woman and then uh disappearing uh from Cal Poly and to get up there and to speak to that and how much we miss her is very, very difficult to do that.
And it was real hard especially after the video because she was very much alive in the I was very, very impressed with uh what my daughter and son and my wife with what uh they shared their emotions Uh you could not hide their emotions, the tone of the voice, and the courtroom was very, very, very quiet. A great deal of impact both personally and for the court and the
The ability to elaborate on those emotions that have been pent up, unspoken, but live was was really like no other. And that was where I put a lot of thought and effort into what I want the theme to be. You know, as I was taught, you know, attending the University of the Pacific and writing essays as we all do, the theme here was you made a choice. And that was really around you made a choice to murder her. You made a choice to You know? Could not be more proud of the
of whether it was my my wife reading her statement or my my mother reading her statement or my dad or my sister. Just a remarkable group of individuals and even one of Christian's dear friends Anne Marie. did such a nice job of of highlighting twenty seven years I've so many things so wrong. And really the opportunity that that Paul had, you know, a quarter quarter decade plus, to go out there and be a benefit to society, not a cancer to society.
But making the choices that he did was as reflective as it was growing up. Paul got another DUI, still driving, got another DUI, still driving. But for us, knowing that he's off the streets and knowing that there's less chance over the next decade or two of there being more does Who, by the way, as my sister and I have said, man, such strong individuals to come forth and help ensure that this cancer to society, this monster, Paul Flores stays off the street, are are we we tip our hats.
We tip our hands.
And these heroic women who came forward to share their stories to help Kristen, our hope would be that Los Angeles would look at San Luis Obispo and see that it is possible to move forward and give these women their own voices in a court of law. They each deserve that. It's a crime. And sexual assaults need to be treated as a crime. They are crimes. And not a he said, she said. What do they think they're gonna say?
I I I feel v extremely bad for these women who came to court as Jane Does shared their horrific stories and having the knowledge that there min were many other w women willing to come forward but were limited by the judge I would hope to see that Los Angeles would value the life of these victims in Los Angeles.
to share their story which were these two women, their narrative their stories were so scarily similar, there's a pattern and and he's done this with other women. I want them to equally have justice. The defence attorney said, Why didn't you ever come forward? Clearly this is not true and they're like, No one would believe me. My sister got justice, but I would love for those Jane Doe's to have justice. I'd also love for other women
to equally come forward and like let's get justice for them. Like I f feel for them. Like I really want these women to get justice so so I'll do whatever I can to help get those women a voice.
Let's talk about the concept of closure.
¶ The Elusive Concept of Closure
What does closure look like for your family? What happens next?
Well it's almost therapeutic to talk about it. So I appreciate you asking. Because closure I mean the definition of closure is to close the book. Um, at least that's my my interpretation. That the book is is not closing any time soon. I mean I speak directly to the Flores family. The closure the closing of the book is not happening any time soon until Kristen is brought home and laid to rest.
of of course I'd I'd I would want, you know, her her here to to carry on the legacy that she uh you know had set down. Of wanting to, you know, do international studies and study architecture and live a full life and have her own kids. And there's there's peace in the point of where we are, but there's not closure.
And I'd love to get to a point where we we could bring her home in my parents' lifetime and lay her to rest and have a proper memorial service versus as we had talked about earlier, all the services we've had where It's it's it's putting a lay in the water. It's putting, you know, a a wreath in the water. It's honoring honoring an individual who's not here but without without a gravesite, without
A gravesite that is with a body in it. Um without without her, you know, um here it's it's really hard to talk about closure. Other than it's uh it's something that feels so tangible, so close, but uh at the same time so far away.
So at this point the twenty five years to life, we are beyond grateful again to our team for and the judge. for this, but in the state of California that was the maximum allowed punishment for first degree murder. But the reality of it is if he had kidnapped her and kept her in his home for a year and then released her, he would be in prison twenty five years to life for just kidnapping her.
But he not only kidnapped her, he took her life. He also murdered her. So we would like to see in the state of California an enhancement of the When you murder someone and and hide their body, there needs to be an enhancement to that punishment. Example is if you murder someone with a gun, I believe it's a ten year enhancement, so instead of twenty-five years to life, it would be thirty-five years to life.
So without this enhancement at this point, there's no incentive for Paul or any other criminal like him to provide the information for a family to recover their child. We are in the unfortunate place that no parent would ever wish for, and our wish would be to bury Kristen in the presence of those who love and cherish her.
Finding a way to constructively change the laws. to add enhancement to sentencing where, you know, if people want to hang on to the body, great, but you know, you're gonna do double the time. You're gonna do another ten years, another fifteen years, another twenty years.
And I think that's important because right now, as Chris Pravell said in his closing statement, we're rewarding an individual or persons for keeping a body as the law stands right now. And I think for us As much as we're focused on closure, it's as we're we're focused on keeping that book open, honoring Kristen's legacy and finding a way to to bring her home and lay her to rest.
There has to be some incentive for them to speak up and share where the body is'cause they're continuing like they're torturing the family. for a lifetime and they're holding on to this information and it there's no incentive for them to share it. So I want there to be some incentive so that he can like do what's right for us as a family and bring her home. So finding a way for Paul to speak some sort of incentive there. I th I'll do whatever I can to make that happen.
¶ Lessons Learned and Enduring Gratitude
What have you learned? What kind of advice can you give some family that's in your position with a missing family member or a murdered family member and a case that it feels like there's no movement on or it's not getting resolved? What are you supposed to do and what have you taken away from this that you could extol on other
From day one where Christian was nineteen years old, and the you know, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children couldn't help. we've we've been the benefactor of a lot of frustration and privilege. And I say frustration first because for every win there's been so much frustration, so much loss, so much grieving, so much
But it's
It's like the saying goes, work hard and be nice to people. We've overcome a lot of obstacles by just being nice people. You gotta find a way to have that resolve to get out the door and constantly be engaging that audience. and and that audience is those that could help bring closure to you, whatever that might be, or bring that ch that missing child home. There's not not one particular piece of advice, but really
It's it's it's getting out there and sharing the word. And even driving driving here for this this interview, I saw a digital billboard, you know, with a missing sixteen year old. It's finding a way to make your story meaningful to the audience. Much as you've done, Chris in telling the story. It's finding a way to make make it endearing and lasting. But it's really to n never give up, to never lose health. And to get on getting on. You're gonna be tired, you're gonna be exhausted.
For me, just in a point of reflection, watching mom journal everything. Watching mom being told by so many different people so many different things. And something that she had talked about lately was where an individual had approached her and said
You know, they they might have taken everything from you, but you can't allow that to get you down. And I think what she was getting at um and processing through that was You've you've gotta continue to live life, but find that extra above and beyond energy and focus. To just see it through. Because her reality is as much as we're blessed in twenty seven years to be where we are, she's still not home. So it's hard to give advice'cause it's not a perfect ending.
It's it's part of the story, it's part of the journey, but it's not the ending.
I thought maybe at the end of this last episode to thank everybody by name who's helped me. And I can't even for the people who have helped in the last four years, I can't even add them up. So twenty-seven years of
Because this has been so long, twenty seven years out to where we're at now. We have so many people to thank that we can't really thank them. It's been a community effort. community of California and out of California, people assisting to resolve and find some justice for our daughter for Kristen. And so we have a great deal of thanks to all of you who have assisted us in so many different ways.
It may have seemed like a little item at the time, but it's become very powerful collectively working together. And uh this is why Chris Lambert's so special to us. He's helped bring many resources together and to see and study and review the background and for us to find some justice for Yeah, yeah.
World of thanks to to all the individuals, innumerable individuals, but especially to my kids, my wife my family to all the jurists, to all of those in uh San Luis Obispo and really worldwide that have uh gotten us to this point because it is uh it's unthinkable t what what happened twenty seven years ago, but to be where we are, uh, you know, given the circumstances is uh It's pretty awesome.
I tried to stay in the car until at Christian's point to wait till you would leave. Now every time I leave you I feel bad that I'm leaving because I feel like you're her guardian angel as well as our families. So, um you're stuck with us now.
And I think we've adopted you as a uh son into the family. And uh my wife's cheering that on over there and Chris is laughing. But anyway. And we've had a wonderful legal team and wonderful friends and close friends and made many more friends. Uh I've been real impressed with how wonderful people have been down here. Central coast area for us and our family. and our missing daughter. So uh a great deal of hugs and thanks and kisses out to all of you there.
Thank you.
I feel honored every time someone mentions Kristen's name, that she is remembered, that she is loved by a larger community than we could ever have anticipated. She once said when she was eighteen, when she grew up she wanted to travel the world and well there are millions of people who know her name. And as Stan mentioned, the our gratitude is so immense for this local community as well as all of those who have reached out to us.
and told us that Kristen's story has touched their life and college students have said that the reminder to live safely on campus requires them to look out for each other. And if there is a gift In these twenty seven years it is the friendships we've made and the friends who have stood by us And women who have come forward who have said Thank you.
You're very special to us. Love ya.
🎵 Music