In this episode, I talk about the complicated grief that surfaces once we begin setting boundaries and creating distance from toxic, narcissistic, or emotionally immature parents. I share what it looked like in my own life— the emotional toll of being a parentified child, and why our healing journey often involves mourning the milestones we missed while we were just trying to survive. This conversation is especially for those who feel behind in life, who struggle with guilt for being sad about t...
Jul 07, 2025•17 min•Ep. 54
Big news! The Confident Boundaries App is officially live—now available for free on iPhone and Android. Inside, you’ll get instant access to a curated starter bundle of some of my favorite episodes and articles to support your healing from family dysfunction. In today’s episode, we’re digging into a question I hear often from adult children of narcissistic parents or those with unmanaged BPD: “Why do I keep ending up in toxic relationships?” When you grow up with emotionally immature or abusive ...
Jul 01, 2025•17 min•Ep. 53
If you’re breaking toxic cycles in a family marked by emotional immaturity, narcissism, or borderline traits, there’s something we don’t talk about enough: the profound loneliness that can come with healing. You’re not just setting boundaries—you’re stepping out of the role your family expected you to play. Maybe you were the peacekeeper, the fixer, the golden child, or the scapegoat. But once you stop playing by the unspoken rules, the system fights to pull you back in. What hurts the most is r...
Jun 24, 2025•16 min•Ep. 52
Healing isn’t linear—especially when you’re the cycle breaker. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy , I’m pulling back the curtain on what real, sustainable healing looks like when you grew up with emotionally immature, narcissistic, or borderline parents. I share how becoming a therapist over a decade ago didn’t free me from my dysfunctional patterns—it magnified them. I was the classic parentified child turned overwhelmed helper: running myself into the ground trying to "fix" everything and hel...
Jun 16, 2025•37 min•Ep. 51
Cycle breakers are often raised to believe that honesty = full disclosure and transparency… even when the other person has a history of weaponizing that honesty against them. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy , we’re digging into the messy middle between brutal honesty and self-abandonment—especially when it comes to dealing with parents who have borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). So many of us value being open and real because we didn’t get that ...
Jun 10, 2025•15 min•Ep. 50
Let’s talk about the real work of breaking dysfunctional family cycles. If you're the adult child of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder, you probably know the drill: chaos explodes, you search frantically for tools to survive it… and then once things settle down, you convince yourself it's “not that bad.” Sound familiar? This episode is your reminder that healing isn’t just something you do in a crisis. In fact, the most transformative progress happens between the chao...
May 26, 2025•24 min•Ep. 48
Surviving (not thriving) Mother's Day weekend is what we're celebrating this week. Breaking cycles isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Your commitment to healing, despite few healthy examples, is powerful. Be gentle with yourself; your journey of growth deserves compassion, not criticism. Next we’re calling out the toxic phrases that gaslight, invalidate, and harm adult children of parents with BPD or NPD. You've probably heard, "But they're your parents, you should forgive them," or "Wh...
May 13, 2025•19 min•Ep. 46
After a year of running Confident Boundaries alongside my therapy practice, I’m reflecting on the journey—what worked, what didn’t, and how I’ve evolved my approach to supporting adult children of BPD and NPD parents. Expanding beyond therapy has allowed me to help more people through coaching, community, and this podcast. And, in this episode I share: ✔️ Why I created the Confident Boundaries umbrella (way before the online community) ✔️ How I've been able to bridge the gap for those who couldn...
Mar 11, 2025•33 min•Ep. 37
Growing up with a parent who has borderline personality disorder (BPD) or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can have lasting emotional and practical impacts—some of which often go overlooked. In this episode, we dive into the challenges adult children of BPD/NPD parents face when it comes to "adulting" and why self-compassion is key. Listen to hear my thoughts about : ✔️ How being raised by a BPD/NPD parent can impact how equipped you are to navigate the adult world ✔️ Why many adult child...
Feb 25, 2025•15 min•Ep. 35
Today I’m reflecting on how I’ve grown this year and what I’m focusing on for 2025. From taking bold action before I felt “ready” to ending a toxic friendship and trusting myself more, I’m sharing the real, unfiltered moments that have shaped my year. This episode is all about celebrating progress, embracing imperfections, and setting clear intentions for a fulfilling year ahead. Listen to hear my perspective on: Taking big steps before feeling “ready” Facing fears around sharing my personal jou...
Dec 31, 2024•22 min•Ep. 27
Can personal experiences spark global change? In this episode, I share the story behind my newest venture, Confident Boundaries , and how my passion for helping adults with parents who have borderline and narcissistic personality disorders has evolved throughout this past year. Confident Boundaries goes beyond my therapy and coaching practices, offering tools, resources, and a supportive community for adult children ready to heal and reclaim their power. I’ll also take you behind the scenes of l...
Dec 17, 2024•18 min•Ep. 25
Growing up with a narcissistic mother can feel like navigating a maze of manipulation and emotional chaos. Ever wonder how the image of a "perfect mom" can clash so deeply with reality? In this episode, I share snippets from my own personal journey of growing up with the "perfect" narcissistic mother. We'll dive into how societal perceptions of motherhood often mask harmful behaviors, the pressure to maintain appearances, and the lasting emotional impact. From public praise to private criticism,...
Dec 09, 2024•22 min•Ep. 24
Today I share about my own childhood growing up with a narcissistic parent. I talk about why it's been such a struggle for me to really accept my mother's narcissism and how becoming a parent myself has made me much less sympathetic to my mother's poor parenting journey. 🎧 Ready for More? Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: 📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App Available on iOS and ...
Oct 28, 2024•23 min•Ep. 18
In this episode, we talk about self-compassion and why it is so hard to develop for adults who grew up with emotionally unpredictable parents. I dive deep into why an emotionally safe space is essential for developing self-compassion and ways you can practice being kinder to yourself starting today. 🎧 Ready for More? Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: 📱 Download the Confident Boundar...
Oct 22, 2024•14 min•Ep. 17
Today, I'm talking about the frustrating reality of dealing with parents who continue to display toxic behaviors despite years of therapy. I share a personal story about my own mother who insisted her therapist told her she no longer needed therapy. Then, I discuss why some therapists are not be equipped to work with clients who have personality disorders and why people with personality disorders often seek out therapists who validate rather than challenge them. 🎧 Ready for More? Subscribe to Y...
Oct 01, 2024•19 min•Ep. 13
Today I share my journey from being a skeptic of the coaching industry to launching my own coaching business, Confident Boundaries, earlier this year. You'll hear about my initial frustrations with the unregulated nature of coaching, especially during the COVID-19 boom, and how I came to recognize a pressing need for accessible support for adults who are trying to navigate their relationship with a parent who has borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder. Tune in as I breakdown the rol...
Sep 24, 2024•19 min•Ep. 12
This week, I tell you why I absolutely refuse to help you suppress your emotional reactions to your parent's toxic behaviors. Listen to hear me out and why I instead recommend focusing on setting boundaries with your parent who has borderline and/or narcissistic personality disorder. Also, I share why this episode is a little late! As always- thanks so much for your patience and continued support! 🎧 Ready for More? Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus cont...
Sep 17, 2024•9 min•Ep. 11
This week on You're Not Crazy, I chat about why I loathe the Tony Robbins of the world and why you need to be careful about being the target of charismatic people who want to exploit you. Growing up with parents affected by borderline or narcissistic personality disorders can distort our sense of self and intuition, making us prime targets for re-traumatization by these so-called empowerment experts. We'll explore the deep-seated impact of a dysfunctional upbringing and how it leaves us suscepti...
Sep 03, 2024•11 min•Ep. 9
Ever feel paralyzed by the thought of setting a boundary, let alone enforcing it? You’re not alone. Many of us didn't grow up witnessing healthy boundary-setting, and it can feel like an insurmountable task to learn it as an adult (but good news- it's not!). In this episode, I discuss practical steps and strategies to help you navigate the path towards a less stressful life. Through relatable anecdotes and expert advice, I hope to support you in reclaiming control of your emotional well-being. T...
Aug 27, 2024•11 min•Ep. 8
Let's talk about common forms of parental manipulation and abuse. Today, we pull back the curtain on the dysfunctional tactics employed by parents with borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. Has your reality has been twisted through gaslighting? Were family rivalries created through triangulation? Today's episode reveals how guilt-tripping and emotional blackmail can devastate your mental health and relationships, and provides insights into recognizing these harmful behaviors. We'll ...
Aug 19, 2024•13 min•Ep. 7
Thinking about going no contact with a parent who has borderline or narcissistic personality disorder? Be careful about how you execute that plan and what advice you follow—a recommendation by a popular therapist YouTuber of sending a letter is probably the worst idea I've ever heard. Join me, Torie Wiksell, as I unpack why this seemingly empowering move could be the worst advice you’ve ever received. You’ll learn when writing might actually be helpful and discover less provocative ways to prote...
Aug 05, 2024•9 min•Ep. 4
Finding the right therapist can feel like navigating a minefield, especially when you're dealing with the complexities of a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. Ever been told to maintain contact with toxic family members because it's "good for your mental health"? I have, and let me tell you, it was eye-opening—and not in a good way. On this episode of "You're Not Crazy," I share my personal journey, the highs and lows, and the invaluable lessons learned from both stella...
Jul 30, 2024•11 min•Ep. 3
What if understanding your anger could be the key to your emotional freedom? Join me, Torie Wiksell, on "You're Not Crazy" as we explore the intricate and often terrifying relationship that adult children of parents with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) have with anger. Growing up in these environments can make anger feel unpredictable and scary, whether it’s due to the emotional volatility associated with BPD or the calculated, punishing behavior...
Jul 28, 2024•10 min•Ep. 2
Why do some parents claim they had no idea their adult child would cut them off? Discover the reasons behind this disconnect when adult children going no contact with their parents in this episode of "You're Not Crazy." I'm Torie Wiksell, your host and a seasoned therapist and coach, and today we unpack the complex dynamics that lead to family estrangement...particularly when parents, including those who are therapists, insist they were blindsided by their child's decision. Join me as I share pr...
Jul 27, 2024•10 min•Ep. 1
Welcome to You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for the Adult Children of Parents with Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders . Hosted by therapist and coach Torie Wiksell, this podcast is dedicated to those who have grown up trying to navigate the complicated and challenging realities of having a parent with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. In this first episode, Torie introduces herself, share a bit about her background and experience, and tells you what you can expect from t...
Jul 27, 2024•2 min
