How to Diffuse a Narcissist

Hello. My name is Jessica night. Welcome to the relationship recovery podcast. The last few episodes have been quite long and I have a few more in the works that are also quite long. So what I'm going to do today? Is I'm going to piggyback on my episode from last week and talk a little bit more about what setting boundaries looks like.

And this time I'm going to focus on what setting boundaries with the narcissist looks like. This is going to be a shorter episode. This is going to be kind of quick and to the point, but if you have any questions, you can always reach out to me, Jessica, Jessica coaching. Maintaining a relationship with a narcissistic person can be very challenging because it's always about their needs, their wants their feelings, and they make you feel like you're worthless.

It's so essential to set boundaries with the nurses so that you can start to prioritize your mental health because otherwise you'll be constantly swept up in there's. And I'm going to go through a few tips to help you set healthy boundaries with the narcissist. Number one, and this is the hardest one stop explaining and defending yourself.

Nurses love to put you on the defense and they will attack you and push your buttons. But when you notice yourself having defensive stop and take a deep breath and remind yourself that you haven't done anything wrong, just refuse to defend yourself by you doing this. It stops the escalation. And I know a lot of you are going to feel like you didn't have a chance to say what you felt or say what you thought I understand, and I know how hard it is, but I promise you that they're not going to hear you.

And so the best thing you can do to protect yourself is to stop engaging and stop thinking that they're going to hear you. The second one is that I want you to know that nurses are masters at telling you who you are in the most critical position. It could be about your looks or character, your intelligence, how you show up in the world with the kind of friends you are, you have to learn to see yourself in a positive light without their negativity and not to let someone tell you who they are.

One of my mantras when I was going through a narcissistic relationship was no one gets to tell me who I am. No one gets to tell me who I am over and over. I'm going to ask you to do the same. If you really want to start sending a boundary.

Stop mirroring the narcissist would, that means is start noticing that the abuser in your life brings out the worst qualities in you because we, your each other. And so with the narcissist project, certain traits onto you, you tend to probably internalize them and to think that they're using. That works in reverse too.

So the narcissist is constantly projecting their feelings onto you. And you're starting to believe that that's who you are stop. If you know, they activate you set boundaries, like I'm not talking about this. I'm not engaging in this. Listen to the podcast I did last week of how does set the boundary and how to hold yourself.

But you're going in order for you to start to see the situation. Clearly you're going to have to stop letting them activate you. And you're also going to have to start to believe that they're just projecting their bullshit onto you. It's their shame. And that's such a larger thing to unpack, but we have to save that for another episode because it is so deep.

And for. When the narcissist gives you the silent treatment, stop making efforts to communicate with them. This is the time to do something for yourself. They're doing that to make you feel guilty, to make you feel bad for probably saying how you felt or standing up for yourself. Call a friend, read a book, go for a walk, listen to a podcast, do something for yourself.

Don't try and get them to talk to you. It's just a game because nurses lack empathy and the strong, and they have such a strong sense of entitlement that they just exploit you. Boundaries are something that get in the way of their goals. So don't let them stop you from setting those healthy boundaries because you deserve to be in a healthy relationship.

And the only way you're going to get there is if you start taking a stand for yourself, that person will either have to meet you where you are and where you're. Or they're going to have to leave, but trust me, you don't want somebody in your life. Who's going to continuously treat you bad and blame you for.

And so if you're having trouble setting boundaries, something you can do is you can download these canned responses that I created there. I'll put the link in the show notes. They're also available on my Instagram using the link in my bio. If you follow Jessica, Anna coaching or emotional abuse, coach.

And download those responses, try and use them. And in the email that sends them to you. I do ask you to let me know how it went, because I think it can be so helpful to share with me how, which ones are working, which ones are not like how it went. What was the reaction you got? Because those are all responses that I've had to use in my relationships with narcissists.

And it's probably the only thing that helped me set the balance. And so I hope that this was helpful for you. And if you need any more support, you can find me@jessicanetcoaching.com. You can email me at Jessica, Jessica and I coaching.com and I will see you next week.