hello hello hello welcome back to another episode of you are not alone today's topic is bouncing back i'm joined here but with cena brandon and cheyenne if you like this episode please make sure to like comment to subscribe and check us out on instagram let's get that let's get into it awesome so today's topic is on bounce back and what it what really is bouncing back so cheyenne i have to ask you what is bounce back and what does it mean to you bouncing back is kind of the process of you
getting out of a dark spot in your life and just coming back with power and also just making your life a little bit better with bouncing back with the viewer and the listener we really want you guys to understand that in tough situations in life and when life is beating you left and right there's honestly more to life once you do bounce back it's alway it can't i l the one thing i love to always say is it can't rain forever the sun has to come out and you have to be able to be resilient and to
be able to take on challenges in your life because in life we're thrown so many different challenges where it's always going to be complicated there's never been times in life where you're able to just um be at your highs without falling you're not able to be at your lows without getting high gaining to uh increase in level however with bouncing back i think we all have different stories and different experiences of what we've been through so will could you plea please describe a
time where you bounced back and you but you still had to have difficult times right in that moment yeah and it's actually pretty recent too and it's a good one so earlier last year i tore a muscle in my knee my meniscus and you know that was tough uh there was a little depression that followed with it but it got better really quickly you know some some hard times but whatever and then earlier this year i tore the same muscle and on top of that i tore my acl with it which is even worse and so
for me it was kind of falling off a cliff like all of a sudden i was just at the deep end it was a terrible experience it was not fun to go through and mentally getting through that is essentially what bouncing back is to me and i'm still in the middle or the process of that bounce back um to this day because it's such a long recovery but that's kind of my story i'm now fr went from rock bottom and now kind of in that slope back up mentally in that experience while you were
bouncing uh well and so you're pretty much in a moment right now to bounce back yeah like i am in that process when you were spiraling was there any point in time where you wanted to give up and not push through i wouldn't even call it like spiraling it's more of like and that can it can be spiraling for me it was just straight down like i i just went right down to the bottom and it was just a hard time to where there were there were times where i considered like
not only just like should i give up but like why is this happening to me just the the amount of negative thoughts overtook the positives and that's why it was such a hard experience and it makes it even harder when those negatives outweigh the positives to essentially create that bounce back and in season two we kind of describe the motion of that negative emotions are actually much stronger than positive emotions unfortunately in the in the world that we live in but the over when
you're overwhelmed with positive emotions they beat negative emotions out brendan was there any time that you had to bounce back in a situation where you believe that maybe you were spiraling or it got to a point where the negative emotions were really beating the positive emotions and you felt like you were almost right off the cliff yeah um this was back in college um so usually with me uh i'm more of an active person i was in college and usually my favorite thing to do was play
basketball at the rec center um i went to college siu if anyone knows about that but basically um i was probably 18 19 at the time when i first got there and at first i started experiencing pain in both my knees and usually i don't ever experience pain like that before or just anywhere on my body like i always keep myself in check or always take care of myself basically but as the as the months were going on uh i noticed little by little that my knees were just hurting like there were
even days where i would wake up and like i didn't even want to go to class i just sit in there because i was having just immense pains and just starting at my knees i'm just like what is wrong with me like what the hell is going on basically so i eventually went to get myself checked out and basically what they told me is that like my knees were basically were going bad and that kind of scared me because usually like i always told myself and i know this is kind of bad thing but like i always
thought like you know i was invincible things like that but then you know nobody's invincible things can happen to any moment in time so then i had to figure out ways of you know how can i help my niece because it stopped me from playing basketball for a while i would not go and even like when i try to force myself to go because i just missed playing the nature of that game um i still have to basically sideline myself because i just i just couldn't go through it even i told myself to push
through but basically i'm not helping myself i'm just damaging myself by just continuing to push through so it just kind of put me in a downward spiral because like i want to get better i want to get back out on the court to be able to do what i love to do and also help me out with my mental health as well because like when i was going to bad times that was basically my escape or my route to get away from all that was just locking myself in the gym hooping with the guys and just having fun so
in that period you would say that a lot of moments in your life as your as you were pretty much falling off the cliff were a point of time where a lot of bad habits probably showed themselves right like you start reaching for a lot of things like as you're falling off the cliff you're kind of reaching for the rock right to like kind of help you get back to the top on were there any points of time and if you could help the listener viewer understand how how do you avoid these
bad habits and if you did get bad habits what did you do to make sure that they did not continue in your life cycle so with that when i noticed i was uh getting a bad habit um at first usually with myself like i would ignore it which is the thing that's what's not to do do not ignore it always like taking consideration of what you're doing and i just think to myself you know is this these habits that i'm doing what is the benefit coming out of it like for an example
like like i said with the whole knees thing and like not be able to play like you know like i would get frustrated like i'll tell myself like no not to get mad but yeah i still keep on getting mad which my bad had was i do have a short temper when things are not going my way with my my my own self so i would get really upset and i would just tend to block things out or just tend to ignore people when in reality people are just trying to just help me out or trying to
help find a solution so i was just being just hard-headed basically i was just trying to think oh i could do it on my own with reality that's not the point and so eventually what i did to help break that habit was that i try to be more accepting and more just trying to open my mind and try to take those opinions and from other people of what to do like you know maybe don't do it maybe you don't go out or maybe just like you know try to do um there's a method called rice things rest
ice elevate and oh no rest eyes compress and elevate that's what it was that's what it was and basically you know like i started doing that and it was getting better little by little so you know i feel like you know if people offered advice you know don't always shut it away try to take into consideration or try to apply it to your daily life because you know may never know that something can actually be very beneficial when it's right there for you i have to say there's been moments in my
life where things are just going wrong right and like everybody is like trying to help you and trying to give you their advice and you're trying to take it with like like trying to take the advice to help you but there's like so much information being thrown at you at once you just don't know what i do i don't know what to do right like i'm just like what do i do in this situation like whose advice do i really follow was there a point in time well that you
grabbed any bad habits that you wish you didn't have or was there any point at all that like the bad habits continued and you're in you're bouncing back at your current moment now there were 100 bad habits that i picked up especially in the beginning i picked up really bad habits which i won't share but through [Music] the the process of bouncing back you have to break those habits essentially a full bounce back is breaking through all of those habits that you've developed during that time
and that's see like those moments of like when you break through a bad habit it's like a crazy awesome feeling you're just like wonderful i i'm doing awesome now cheyenne what did you in your period of bouncing back uh did you pick up any good habits like i i know we're like talking a lot about native energy here but like let's throw some positive energy out there like good habits that you kind of took on anything that you would recommend to the listener reviewer uh
one of the main things that i kind of latched onto as a good habit was always keeping my mind focused on something that wasn't like where all the negative energy in my life was located so like i would enjoy movies or i would listen to music and um at times like i'd make my own music especially like when i was sad and depressed and i didn't want to think about like what i had going on in my life to an extent where it would just drag me down um definitely keeping myself grounded uh
with surrounding myself with just good and positive vibes really helped me maintain this level of happiness while everything was going around and that ultimately led to me bouncing back it really helped you show like not only do bad habits exist but honestly when we when we get into situations where so much negative energy is surrounding us like sticking to the core things that you love to do especially like listening to music doing hobbies just figuring out what your core uh good
habits are and allowing those to shine in dark moments are honestly those moments when you do break through and you're just like i'm thankful for whatever i'm thankful for this i'm thankful for that i have to say like podcasting it has to be something new that i discovered for myself that i really enjoyed was like this is a great habit to pick up and i kind of started setting other bad habits aside so to the listener and viewer honestly don't be afraid of new experiences or
new hobbies or anything especially when you're in a moment of like a fall off a cliff you're reaching for anything you're reaching for to grab anything so if you reach for the bad things of course you're going to receive the uh you're going to also learn in those experiences to what what's a bad habit and what's a good habit but in the end when you stick to core things and try to find new experiences that help you push yourself to the next uh to bouncing back you really discover
a lot about not only yourself but also the people around you who are giving you the advice or helping you get through whatever you're going through or who aren't or who aren't yeah exactly i do have to agree the kind of a lot of people show their true colors the next question is when you hit rock bottom when you finally feel the ground and life just doesn't seem the same and if you kind of get into that phase of like whoa is me why me why is this happening to me i have to ask you gentlemen
when you what do you do when you hit rock bottom and where do you go next when when you ultimately hit rock bottom you really want to keep not like this overly positive mentality but like just enough to keep you afloat where everything that has bet everything that is bad that's happened to you is kind of in the back of your mind and not the forefront so you just need to focus on the things that you really enjoy doing and if you don't really know what that is you just kind
of have to put yourself out there out into the world and also like relating to brandon's story like how he didn't want to talk to anybody or you know just reach out he was missing that kind of like key factor that you need to surround yourself with positivity whether that's you seeing a therapist or if it's you talking to a good friend or cutting off that bad friend it's just really all about your surroundings and also how much you put out there and when you honestly reach that floor
i personally believe that like your eyes open like you you finally can see a lot of things that you weren't paying attention to when you're at your top you kind of see different things in other people and for me i i'm really difficult when it comes to like friendships and ending friendships and seeing just because like i've had a lot of bad friendships in my in my period of life where i've learned a lot and and when i've hit rock bottom before and i'm in that moment
i've honestly really enjoyed it because it opened my eyes to see who's got your back who's gonna pick you up who's there when when everything when the sky is falling like those those are things that you need to understand about resiliency it's a learning experience this this whole creative thought of bouncing back not only should it be a learning experience but it should honestly give you some like a new start it's like kind of like a restart to like okay what can i do now
so i don't fall off the cliff again or who do i need to hang out with who do i need to cut out my life with like like you said cheyenne it's really important what what would you what would you do i i would agree with you and call it like it is a serious mindset shift especially the harder you fall the more minds the more your mindset shifts in it's it's very very difficult in in most in most cases for me like i like to kind of think about it um on cheyenne's point
kind of like like a cut you know like you cut your arm it's bad do you fix it no you just put a band-aid on it you know that could be drugs or alcohol any type of stimulation to get you to stop thinking about your problems right it gets worse it gets infected and you grow more habits or you grow more bodily problems right but when you focus on the positives and even the fact that you're able to then turn these negatives into positives in some sense on top of finding more positive things to do
that just further you know actually cleans that cut you you clean it it's painful you sew it up that's painful but eventually you are fully healed and you are better than you were before and that is the entire idea of a bounce back and on top of that mindset shift you know going along the lines of what you were saying cena how i really think about it is not only are you getting better habits but you are in that process of learning how to not fall into them again
and that further makes you stronger and that's why the mindset shift is so important and so hard to go through but it is something that will happen and you will go through it but it will make you better of a person let me give another example i i there is a friend of mine when they hit rock bottom and they felt the ground they looked themselves in the mirror and they didn't like what they were seeing because when they were on that uh incline of just life is great and everything they
realized that during the incline they picked up bad habits eating a lot uh not focusing on diet not going to the gym and it was crazy because what i saw was when they hit rock bottom and when they started inclining again was when they went to the gym and they lost so much weight that they were a completely different person and that's crazy because if they would have never hit that bottom ground they would have never saw they would have never looked in the mirror to fix
the problem that they didn't see when they were on the incline so again i think something that we're just trying to get in your head as a viewer and listener is that don't look at don't look at the fall and the hit and the ground feeling the ground as a bad thing look at it more as something that you could possibly change about yourself change who you're hanging out with change what you're doing or learning something new that you never thought that you would want to pick up who knows
what about that instrument that you probably put down a long time ago that you haven't picked up since what about that friend we haven't contacted in a really long time sometimes we need these little things that we kind of put aside for other reasons that occurred in life that we can easily pick up again and find that sense of feeling again of wow this was something i actually really really enjoyed right like brandon was there anything that you picked up during your bounce back after
the whole knee problems and anything was or was there anybody who helped you and picked you up and what did they do to pick you up um yeah with that um actually i reached out to a friend um i have a friend in iowa uh usually i talk to him a ton of time right into the xbox but basically like um during my moment when i was going through that you know like because we were a game here and there like when i was in college and all that so then like we're in the party like i asked him like
because he could he could always tell like you know like whenever like i'm not me you know what i'm saying so then like he asked me like hey man like what's going on like why do you feel like you're not there and i just told him basically you know i'm just going through a rough time right now you know like kind of like i explained earlier he's going to a bad time you know like i want to get back out there all this and that and so basically he was like he just
told me you know he said just go back to your foundations like what basically makes you and who you are as a person like yes you would you are down at the moment but not it will not define as a person of who you are because in the end kind of like what all you guys said like you know with the resilience like you everybody will work hard if you don't want to be there you'll work hard enough regardless to get yourself out of there because it sucks being down there and the people who have ever been
through moments like that or just anything in general that puts you at rock bottom it's not a good feeling it's not a good feeling to be there and we all don't want to be there we all want to get out so we will do anything within our willpower to get back to the top or at least feel at homeostasis with ourselves again you know so why do we look at bouncing back as such a negative thing in our life i think it's just because it's a good thing in disguise but it it really does hurt
it's meant to shape you as a person it it it's that mindset shift when you go through a real hard bounce back is essentially somebody telling you your religion is not real and that that's this is the real way things are and that is the way things are but you have to grow to be that new person and it hurts the process hurts but it has to happen if you want to be that much better of a person because you do come out of it better than you were before in that that's painful to go through but again
that's meant to it's meant to be that way because it's meant to shape you to be better and so it's what it sounds like is it's really important for your mental health and you to understand that when these things happen to you that it's normal happens to all of us and it's the way that you shift your mindset and that and that will help you get out of whatever you're dealing with so in a moment like that cheyenne how do you keep your mental health in check though well a large part of it is
reaching out to others and surrounding yourself with the right people but i mean one of the main things is in order to better yourself you have to want to do it and you have to basically have the willpower to bring yourself out of that dark space in life so it's as much a social thing as it is a solo thing exactly and the less you make it a social thing it's you're just always gonna be in this uphill battle with yourself and your own thoughts and sometimes you don't know what's best for you and
you need that professional you need that good friend you need to reach out to those people in order to like really center in on your life figure out what's wrong and to really overall work on your happiness in life i'm working on your happiness man that's something that you definitely don't don't allow rock bottom to take that away from you don't allow rock bottom to put you in through such bad situations because sitting there at rock bottom crying saying woe is me why me is just
going to attract more negative energy because all you're doing is throwing negative energy into the world and what's going to come back is just negative energy and that's not going to help your mental health no no way does that because again your negative energy is way way stronger than your positive energy so you're gonna need even more positive energy in your life and that's exactly how the brain works too yeah like it looks for reassurance so if you keep saying why does this
happen to me why is this happening to me you will your subconscious mind will work on that reason to tell you subconsciously this is why it's happening to you and it will be negative so what should you say to yourself for me to get through my bounce back and what i'm doing now is having the ability to turn those negative situations into positive situations like i tore my muscle in my knee i couldn't walk i was stuck in bed for four months before i could get surgery because of covid and
other problems but how did that shape me as a person and where did i what areas of my life was i able to look at and change because of this happening rather why is this happening to me why this is gonna if this just keeps happening it's just gonna keep getting worse and it would have kept getting worse i would be in a terrible mindset right now if i just kept thinking that the ability to think positive is such a big factor and to think differently it doesn't even have to be
all positive you know people or or you yourself you might tell yourself like if you only look at what is if you are only able to see what is then all you will create is more of what is you have to be able to put your thoughts beyond this what is what is happening now in order to attract something different or something better than what you have now and the mental aspect of that is such a high significance to that mindset shift to take place what is important is
like will said what you say to yourself what i like to do is when i get into a situation where i'm always me i say why am i thinking that why did i just say why me it doesn't matter why you it doesn't matter that the world doesn't care what you're going through but what's important and what will continue helping you get to the top back to the top is who you surround yourself with what you say to yourself whether you seek a professional help or not which again i have to be biased and say that
seeing a therapist is not as scary as it is and if you've never seen one i mean who knows maybe this is your time give it a chance give give new things chances don't keep pushing them aside it's not going to help it's a moment at rock bottom that you can do these things and it honestly is going to help you in the end so why not why not try that new thing that you want to push push to the side for such a long time is there anything else you guys think that would help people honestly keep
their mental health in check how can we help them um i would just say personally for me i would just say um you know just always try to stay positive throughout the situation no matter how bad it is um if you ever do feel down or start feeling a little bit negative you know uh sometimes i kind of say to myself you know like when you do have like those negative thoughts it's okay to think of them but you know don't think about for too long in that moment when it happens of course
everybody gets frustrated but you know always think towards a positive eventually good things will come better things will come as long as you put your mind to it and while you stick to a game plan everything will be okay it's just that you need to put in the work and effort kind of what cheyenne said because no one is going to come to your door knocking and be like oh hey you need to get better at things like that you know everybody needs to take that self-will or their self-control
themselves that yes i do want to be better yes i do want to be in check with myself and i do want to be a better person hey that's what we here at wayne are trying to help you do not only become a better person for yourself maybe a better person for your family better person for your friends and who knows i hope that we've figured out a way to help you get through rock bottom resiliency bouncing back whatever you want to call it whatever you want to say everyone goes through it everyone goes
through it you're not you're not alone through this you'll never be alone through this so please please please remember you are not alone and we can't wait to catch you guys in the next episode see you later peace [Music] foreign