Comforting Your Girlfriend After A Nightmare

it's the same one. There's some variations to it. You're in there, but when I wake up, I still feel like I'm in it for a few minutes. And that was what you saw. Goodness. No, I didn't want to wake up at your place. I didn't want to sleep at your place. This is why we never moved in together. Very few people know, and started telling a few other people. But now I've lived with this forever a decade. Well, I guess under a decade. It's hard for me to

keep track of time, especially i'm su a particularly bad one. No, they get worse whenever IM's stressed out. They get easier when whenever there's something that's calming in my life. But it's very rare I find anything that calms me at all, or releast long term. But what Yeah, that's why I don't particularly sleep a lot because I don't want to see it again. So then I end up staying up

for days on end. Well, yes, I've taken medication. Yes I've done sleep studies, I've tried to find comfort items. I've done all kinds of crazy things and I still have them. And I wake up screaming and then I don't want to go back to sleep for a while. And then you get your second wind, even though you want to sleep, and then you get to the point where you can sleep, but then you've got important stuff you have to do, and then you go do this stuff and you get your third wind. And it's a lot.

It's what I'm trying to say. It's a lot, and it's not easy and there's no easy solution. Doctors are working on it. It's just it is what it is. And I understand if it's too much for you. No, it's why I don't sleep near you. Have you ever wondered why I never spend the night. I always leave because I always have something I have to do. Well, really think about it, like, it's why don't. I've never kept long term roommates. Yeah, my sleep starts affecting you.

You see. That's so sweet of you to say, But really think about it. If you're waking up every couple of hours, you're not getting sleep. And then if you try to comfort me back to sleep, you're getting even less sleep. And yeah, you're helping me get sleep, But do you realize that like every second or third day I am actually you know what, I get so little sleep that without drinking a drop of alcohol, without doing any drugs, I can be considered inebriated. Like mentally, cognitively,

I'm considered inebriated. I'm kind of drunk, punch drunk. I guess I don't know what you'd call it. But yeah, I'm always tired, I'm always sleepy, and I'm always slap happy because of it. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be happy. I'm not Lord, That's not what I'm trying to say at all. I'm not trying to say I'm not happy. I'm perfectly happy. But here, look you see this, Yeah, it's my sleep study journal. I have legitimately been here. Look well, no, I'm pulling it out of my drawer.

I have been studied so much. Do you sail thick? This thing is? It has to have like a little snap thing to hold it together. It's insane. It's insane what I'm trying to say. So, yeah, back to you, I wouldn't want anyone to live the way I do, and to be around me while I'm sleeping is to live the way I do, it will drive you crazy. It's it's driven me crazy, It's driven me mad. Why would I want to throw that on you? Exactly? I

wouldn't want you to live this way. So it's why I've always disappeared, and it's why anytime I got anywhere close to going to sleep, I dismissed myself. No, it's sweet, it's sweet. But I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm baby. I'm telling you I don't want to live this way, and I don't want you to have to live this way. We can't be together like I can have my space and you can have your space, and we can live happily, live happily like this. What do you mean that's not

a relationship? What do you mean? No? No, no, no. You can absolutely say that you want more, but a relationship is defined by the people in it. If I'm happy with this, then you could be happy with this. It means we're still together, does it not? It means we still love each other, doesn't it fine? No, it's fine, it's absolutely fine. No, you can go your own way and I can what. No, No, I thought you were saying you wanted to break up if we couldn't. Oh, oh,

that makes way more sense. No, I thought you were saying you wanted to end it. If I there's no possibility of me ever being around you. Really. No, everybody walks away whenever I tell them this. Well, yeah, because it just sounds like you're sounds like you're gonna have to babysit me, or that you're gonna have to suffer to be with me. I'm not an easy person to

try to date. You have to be with someone who gets next to no sleep and is constantly babbling, and the intrusive thoughts usually win because I'm too freaking tired to fight them. No. Really, that has a huge part to do with it. I can't fight my intrusive thoughts because I'm too tired, and it affects my impulse control. Luckily, my intrusive thoughts, are just doing silly things though. Oh yeah, no, my best friend you've met her star? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I wasn't sure. I mean, she's always around, but I'm sure she's around when you were. Well, I'm not sure of much of anything right now, I'm going on almost two days if no sleep. Yeah. No. She always said that it was a sign that I'm a good person, that I have no impulse control, and yet my impulses are to put googly eyes on cereal boxes. No, I don't know how true that is, but oh it gives me hope. I hope that I'm not some munster. Yeah. No, I just didn't think this was going to go that well.

Though I'm not one hundred percent sure it has gone all that well, but we'll see. Right, we're still here in the morning. No, I never thought about that. Well, that's possible. I guess we could do that. How would that work? No, so I would still keep my own space. No, that well, I mean, if I'm gonna be honest, it just sends a little too kid to be true. Now interesting, No,

no worries, No worries. Okay, So what you're proposing is I come over here once or twice a week on a day that you have the next day off, so that you can comfort me and maybe I can get some actual sleep that night, and that'll make it to where I have more sleep on average for the week. But again, I would keep my own space so that you would have yours and you could go sleep and not actually have someone in the other room screaming. Okay,

well no, that would honestly, that sound lovely. No, like impossibly. So I wish my brain worked better so that I could think of solutions like this. Mounted well, no, I'd have to tell my sleep study specialist, but maybe, well, any changes I make to my sleep they like to know so that they can try and figure out what's going on. I mean, the study also helps other people suffering with cpatsd OH complex postumatic stress disorder. Yeah. I had an incident happen when I was younger, and it

just keeps replaying. It's like my brain is stuck on this memory and it's struggling to process it. I've been in therapy. I've tried to move past it. I don't know what the words would be, but I've tried really hard. And even though I can talk to you through my feelings. I can tell you everything. It's like my brain just hasn't my brain hasn't caught up to speed, so it just keeps replaying it. Yeah, no, don't be sorry. Please, No, the worst thing that you can tell someone suffering from

this stuff is that you're sorry. Yeah. We don't like to feel pitied. We've dealt for it for so long. Honestly, it makes us feel worse that we told you, and now it feels like we're bringing you down with us. Yeah, no, don't be sorry for saying your story. This is gonna end up being an endlessly visit it. No, it doesn't have to be all right now except you Jims. I'll come over here and we'll see how it goes.

talked about it on Discord a little bit. The link is in the description if you would like to join. I have CPTSD and what that means is complex post mac stress disorder. A part of the manifestation of mine is I have nightmares that are an hallucinations. Whenever I've gone a really long time without sleeping, I see someone

come into my room. It's the same person and or I'll see them come near me it doesn't really matter where I'm at, and they'll look just as reel as if you walked up to me and shook my hand. I can feel them, I can smell them. My brain cannot tell the difference. I know the difference, but like they're like there. If I've gone a really long time without sleeping and can get that bad, that's rare, but

that is how bad it can get. Essentially, whenever I go to sleep, I have the same reoccurring nightmare, which is the memory of what happened, and it was bad, and I'm locked in it. I can't seem to get out. I've been I've been through so many sleep studies, I've

done so many things. Please no advice. I'm working with like professionals and everything, and it's one of the comforts I get that working with professionals means that maybe maybe one day, if I have to deal with this, maybe what they find with me will help someone else one day. So yeah, I wake up screaming, and the first couple of minutes I legit think I'm still in even though this has happened a billion times. My brain is telling

me it's still happening, and that is really difficult. So not just to live with, but like imagine being someone near that you can't really get sleep. That person is not getting sleep, they're slowly going crazy. They don't sleep, but every couple of days and just for a few hours at a time. It's it's rough, and it's also why a lot of my relationships have crumbolds, because it's not an ideal life and it's just something that people

have to deal with. It's great, but I've had a lot of people in my life that were willing to be there for me whenever it gets particularly bad, like when I get really stressed out it happened recently. It it can, it can be, it can it can shut a person down. It's actually why I'm not the most consistent on this channel. I know it's m I'm not trying to use an excuse, because that's also another reason why a lot of people don't talk about the things they struggle with is they never want to be seen

as using an excuse. It doesn't make it right. And people will be like, oh, you don't have to load on your channel, okay, But also Patreons and you guys are literally supporting me on the Patreon paying money, and I'm not getting stuff done that I should be getting done because of these struggles. And while they're valid and everything like that, that doesn't mean people aren't owed things which can then cause more stress, which thing can compound the issue. It's just it's a it's a thing. It's

a thing people have to deal with. And I always tell people, you know where you can just try to be understanding and kind. And that's not to say, like, oh, telling you deal with the fact that I'm inconsistent. Feel free to point it out. I have no problem working with you giving some sort of extra piz reprioritizing things if it really is bothering someone, never be afraid to point out, be like, hey, you're not getting this done and I really need you to. I'm so understanding of that.

But yeah, so that's where the inspiration came from. Today. Hate to be a Debbie downer. I know we'll be back to our regularly schedule old flirty content tomorrow, but I did want to do an audio that not only talked about my struggles, but in case someone else is dealing with something similar, like it can get better, and by better, my situation hasn't changed, but the people around me have and that's made it to where I can

cope with it changing. So if you're struggling, and I know sometimes I feel like it's just never this is I don't understand how a human can have to live like this, and if whether or not it's fair, just know that if you get to that point too, I've been there and it can get better. And if you need resources, feel free to reach out to me. Anyways, Wow,

she's babbling. I want to say we're closing it. On twenty five thousand subscribers, so I'm planning a twenty five hour live stream, but also in celebration of my one year anniversary, which will be February first. Ah my god, I don't know we'll make it. I don't know if we'll make it in time, but like, if we do, that'd be totally killer. Anyways, I love you guys, and I'll talk to you the next video. Bye,