Warning.
This episode contains mild spoilers, but pretty concrete spoilers for a variety of swords and sandals movies in film history over the last fifty years, So be warned, be warned.
Hello, my name is Spartacus.
No, my name is Jason Gczepsio, and I am also Spotacus.
I'm also Jason Cacepsio. No, I'm merthday Night, I'm merdy Knight, And welcome back to.
Next mention of the podcast where we dive deep into your favorite shows, movies, comics, and pop culture. Coming to you from My Heart podcast, where we're bringing you three episodes a week every Tuesday Thursday, with extra episodes every Wednesday.
In today's episode, we are exploring some of the best why how much fantastical Swords and Sandals movies in anticipation of gladiat It's two's released this Friday, and how did we pick them? Well, we're recommending the best movies to watch if you like certain very specific and hilarious moments from Gladiator.
Let's get into it first, Let's talk about what we mean when we say swords and sandals. This is a film genre popularized in the middle of the twentieth century, and it encompasses movies that are often set in antiquity, that have often biblical themes or Greco Roman hystory Jeo Christian kind of basis, and they are set in the ancient world, you know, the levant to Greece to anciently.
And there are various subgenres here and affect some of our picks, kind of our picks definitely, uh, you know, pushed the boundaries of the true swords and sandals mostly it's yeah, yeah, I think it's mostly swords and so and a lot of sandals. But the subgenres here are obviously fantasy movies, swords again, historical fiction, yeah, you know, things like Master and Commander, gladiators and rebelling against their rulers,
pirate movies, those kinds of things. Uh, they often contain elements of uh, you know, man struggle for freedom, that's basically it.
Yeah, coming up against ambitious rulers.
Yes, that's that's a lot of that.
Uh.
And a lot of these epics were shot in Italy.
Yes, it's very Spaghetti Weston in that way. Like lots of original like what were essentially cheap auctions made in Italy, like Cuivades or ulysses Co direct Benjamin Bava. Yeah, by the way, like claszy, crazy stuff. But yeah, Helen of Troy with Sergio Leone as uncredited second unit director, So you can see this was kind of the proto kind of wave of pre spaghetti Western.
Yeah, I mean, I think this was these this genre and this movement to film, you know, in Italy, I think was important for seating future talent from Italy and in countries with opportunities that they could then take to make the movies that they would then go on to be famous for Bava with his various Giallo horror movies and Leoni with his basically creating the Spaghetti Western genre whole cloth.
What about the modern era?
Lots of examples of this in the modern Gladiator, which is the most famously.
And successfully I think.
Yeah, I mean it's Oscar winning film, and it's the reason we're doing this episode. Gladiator from two thousand Troy.
Not a good movie, no, but it was. It was an attempt to capitalize on the success of Gladiator and bring back this swords and sandals, space.
And some there's some fun action there.
Alexander, Oh, what about that? I Forget Don't Forget Colin. Colin Ferrell's Don't Forget Colin Farles Alexander, where.
Angelina Jolie, who was only like three years older than him, played his mom famously.
Very very strange. Although I will say valcam Are kind of stealing the movie three hundred of course, who could probably.
The most culturally impactful release of that mid zero's era. That kind of obviously launched the career and stylistic chops of one of the most contentious but definitely successful filmmakers of his era.
That's right.
And then twenty tens Clash of the Titans and it's nineteen eighty eighty.
One, Yeah, eighty one. That's that's what I was gonna say. The one thing we didn't touch on here, and they are They are not as necessarily impactful now, but definitely when we were growing up, the Ray Harry Housen animated Clash of the.
Titans, Argonauts, Jason and the Argonauts, and The Golden Fleece.
Where you would have these kind of a fighting skeletons brought to life with stop motion. I think for me, those were definitely the most impactful and memorable movies, especially because in England. When I was growing up, we only had like four channels, Channel one, two, three and four literally ITV and Channel four BBC one and two, and whenever it was Christmas or Easter or Bank Holiday, they're showing those Harry House.
I know that.
I know that because of National Lampoon's European vacation exactly.
And it's true. They were correct.
Okay, we've set the stage.
To this break and word from our sponsors, we will get to our picks.
Yeah, and we're back.
We're back.
Here's the format.
We're gonna pitch these movies to you based on things from Gladiator or things that you may have liked from Gladiator. So for instance, you know, if you liked the action and Gladiator, you will like this movie. I'll start off if you liked this quote from Lucilla in Gladiator today I watched a slave become more powerful than the Emperor of Rome. Then you must watch Spartacus from nineteen sixty,
an absolute classic. It's Stanley Kubrick. It's slyly subversive for a movie in nineteen sixty that deals with, you know, man's struggle from up pressers and being enslaved. There's a lot of winks and nods to then contemporary social struggles.
That were going on.
Here's a fun fact for you about Spartacus. This is based on the life of an actual freedom fighting gladiator took who basically sparked what was the last of the three slave rebellions in each Rome called the surviv Wars. These happened like two hundred ish years before, like you know,
Augustus and all these guys. It's the first one, and then they happened like basically every fifty years until the last one, in which Spartacus broke free of his gladiator school and then just kind of rampaged across the southern Italian peninsula for two years. That's the thing that people don't dialize, yeah, when they watched this movie. That's important to think about. Spartacus was just out there for two whole years, running around freeing enslaved people and you know,
looking for a way off the peninsula. Further fun fact, he was brought down by Marcus Lucinia's Crassis his army. Crassus, then known as the richest man in Rome, was later slayed by the Parthians in Syria, and like the legend is that after they killed him. The Parthians, as a mockery of his lust for wealth and his greed, melted gold and poured it down his mouth, an echo, of course, of the death of visaras Targarian in Season one of Game of Thrones.
One of my favorite moments from this show.
And by the way, the I Am Spartacus, which we were the I am Spartacus line, which we referenced, the iconic moment from the movie in which you know, the the victoriaious Roman legions promise their surviving gladiators that they will be mercifully dispatched if only they will point out who Spartacus is, like either his corpse or amongst those living, who are you know, sitting side by side of them, And just as Spartacus is about to rise up and
say I'm Spartacus, various other gladiers saying I am sport, I am Spartan, not letting them get the satisfaction of finding him. And that is a moment that retains its like pop culture impact. The Office referenced it like there's a million references to this despite the movie coming out over half a century ago.
I think, to me, the one that is most unbelievable and kind of showcases how you can put a moment in a movie and never know where it will go. In the fantastic Netflix series Sex Education, there is a episode at wonderful series does an episode where somebody shas nudes and people are mocking it, and there it's of an intimate part of somebody's body, and then it's causing
a big problem in the school. And then all the girls stand up and do an I Am Spartacus saying it's their nude so that the girl won't get in trouble and so that people will stop, you know, mocking this intimate part of her body. And I remember watching that and thinking, like, Stanley Kubrick just never knew, but you know what you would Actually, you would probably have loved this, Stanley Kubrick, Actually this specific version of it,
I think you would have been into it. But yeah, like the way that you could never imagine that you would have a bunch of teenage girls referencing I Am Spartacus about revenge porn. Sixty years later you're like, Okay, but that's the power of the I Am Spartacus moment and that kind of coming together of oppressed people to protect each other in the face of tyranny.
You know we were talking about before we turned on the mics doing a episode about they had it coming scenes, And I'll just say the escape moment in Spartacus is one of the great things had it coming moments in film.
What's your pick? What's your first pick?
Okay? I love that I get to do this one. So if you like the opening battle scene and gladiator, which I do think is often forgotten about compared to the rest of the movie, is very different in tone in which the Romans squared off against the Germanic tribes, watch The Thirteenth Warrior. I was so happy when you picked this one, Jason, because this is such an enjoyable, fun movie, but forgotten and forgotten and great. It was a crushing bomb, the biggest flop of the box office
year of nineteen ninety nine. The Thirteenth Warrior is a fun movie, and as Jason points out in this fantastic little note that he wrote a fantastic pedigree of cast stories by Michael Crichton, the novelist who gave us Jurassic Parks.
Ever heard of It?
Ever Heard of It? And director John McTiernan predator Diehard hunt for any One of all time, and the story is a kind of like a medieval tinge our Arab academic in the tenth century AD who finds himself attached to a band of Viking mercenaries who go north to fight an evil army of bear men. The film is thirty three percent on rot On Tomorrow's, which.
Is really I think that's it's very unfair.
Very unfair. It's actually very good and very fun and a complete riot to watch. I just actually think it was a bit ahead of its time. I think because tonally it is more akin to kind of the action adventure weird vibes of movies that would be made like ten years later rather than the late nineties.
I completely agree with you. It kind of just doesn't fit anything. I see why it bombed. It's definitely the type of movie where we've talked about these type of movies the Friday night like blockbuster movies. Yes, yes, this would have excelled as a Friday night uh, you know, blockbuster movie.
And it's absolute worth your time.
Mc tiernan is a wonderful action director of the His camera moves in war wonderful ways. There's like this great shot of these like evil the evil army of bear men, which is a little bit of a spoiler, sorry about that, Like riding shoulder to shoulder on their like grim looking war stallions, like towards the cameras, the cameras like I guess, like on a jeeper the back of a jeep or something,
and it's just like awesome, awesome battle scenes. One of the great like noble deaths in recent action history.
And Antonio Bandera, who at this time was just playing so many outrageous historical characters he shouldn't have been playing, but he was doing a great job at every point.
Here is my one, and I agree with you he is playing an Arab man in this.
Yeah, here's the here is the here is my one.
Maybe it works, yes, yeah, the you know, the Arab conquest of Spain was complete by this time, and it was kind of like the pinnacle of as as this movie makes a lot of hay about. Yeah the tenth century, uh, you know, Arabs were much more scientifically, medically advanced.
And another reason I think this movie didn't do well because I don't.
I think that's a great point, because you know, it's it's it's it's a lot like you know, the Kevin Costner Robin Hood.
But that was like a side plot.
Like this is the main character is the more advanced guy, and he's looking at these Europeans like, you guys are savages?
What the fuck is going on? Good point? I think that is why.
Yeah, exactly, I think it is possible that like a guy from Spain could be and like any.
And also, you know what else, at least they didn't cost Sean Connery.
Okay, up next. If you love the bros.
Being rose energy, my favorite, my favorite.
Of Maximus, Juba and Hey from Gladiator just bonding over their shared trauma and learning how to how to be a team, then you're gonna love oh Rome, which aired from two thousand and five to two thousand and seven and is currently streaming on HBO and.
Oh my God.
In the days before Game of Thrones, folks, Little Old Rome was the most expensive show in the history of television.
I'm telling you, if this show hadn't been made, there would be no Game of Thrones, no question. This show is so underrated. I'm just sotterly fantastic. Like every time somebody actually takes the time to listen to our advice and sit down and watch this show. They always come back going, oh my god, how did I not know this existed? It's so so good.
You will get sucked in.
If you like Gladiator, and if you like the Extra Division podcast program, you'll likely like Rome.
Yeah, and you've probably heard us talk about it. It's wonderful. It costs a million zillion bucks.
They built these wonderful sets to, you know, create this immersive feel that you are in ancient Romes. You watch characters move through the streets to the forum.
Et cetera.
Bruno Heller, the co creator of the show, talked about it being canceled after two seasons. He said this quote, I discovered halfway through writing the second season, and the show is going to end. The second was going to end with the death of Brutus, Third and fourth would be set in Egypt. Fifth was going to be the
Rise of the Messiah in Palestine. But because we got the heads up that the second season would be it, I telescope the third and fourth season into the second season, which accounts for the blazing speed which which we go through history near the end. So that's true by season Season one ends on the most absurd high point.
Yeah. Yeah, it's so so crazy.
So good.
Season two moves you through like twenty five years of Roman history and civil war in ten episod that said, and basically it ends with the rise of Augustus to emperor.
That said, well worth your time.
Casting in that is still to this day some of the best TV casting. I also think it established the notion of almost like a crossover between British historical fiction TV, like you know The Tudors, which was really big at this time too. That's a great point where it's this kind of like conversational chamber drama, a little bit scandalous, a little bit interpersonal, mixed with the huge Spartacus esque set pieces and incredible and that obviously became the pre
cast to Game of Thrones. But this was definitely like, my mum loves historical fiction, she loved The Tudors, and I got her a box set of this and this was definitely one of those shows where I don't think she thought she was gonna like it, but it ended up becoming a fave.
To your point, I believe that Bruno Heller was the producer of a series of of BBC programs that were like historical, uh dramatic reenactments of various moments throughout and he has Roman history and then they basically just turned that into this HBO show. And those reenactments and I forget which with the name of them are, but they cover various things, including like the Gracchis brothers and other moments ancient Roman history are really cool too. You can
watch those on on YouTube probably. But to your point about the casting, I mean in Dera varba is niobi.
Oh, I love her.
Kevin McKidd who as Lucius Verinus, you know him from Gray's of Anatomy and many other things. The late and wonderful Ray Stevenson as Titus.
Vernon maybe one of the best time.
He's just truly wonderful. The always nude, full frontal nude. James Purfoy.
I love him. I love so much this guys.
Loves to show the meat in every role.
He is such a blessing. And guys, I'm gonna tell you there's a James Perfoy show that you may be never seen. It's not in the context of this. If this is also only the first James Perfoy is gonna show up again, just in this episode in this list, but I will say it's off it's off topic, but go watch it. I'm not gonna tell you anything about it. There is a Kevin Bacon James Perfoy show called The Following, and you will watch the whole show in like twenty
four hours. Everyone has ever said it again, nude in it? You know what? There are many near nude scenes. I believe it was actually I believe it was not like an HBO production and was instead a like broadcast TV production. But still he does get to be sexy and evil, which is what he loves to do most.
James Perfoy is the villain in the recent adaptation Netflix adptation of Ultra Carbon Hyper Violent UH Future dystopian story and guess what, James before gets nude in it.
I think he's just gonna get nude and everything.
He's like, I can do it, baby. It's like it's like you know what us Love's James buffact is full frontal and the beautiful, very tall six foot lee pace. You know, he he doesn't wow, you know what. You know, that's just the Internet. You know, that's just the internet.
Other wonderful folks in this Rome television program Kuren Hines, who's gone by to do a million things and to Bias Menzies as brutus, like, it's just great. If you haven't watched it, you're in.
For a treat. You're gonna like it.
Yeah, and you're gonna like this word from our sponsors.
We'll go right back by the work and we're back. Wow.
And I've been blessed because the next pick is one of the best movies ever made. People might not have got it at the time, but we get it, we get it, and now you know it's a masterpiece. So if you like the fact that Gladiator is actually a sports movie, which it is, lots lots of sporting men competitionally, it's lagitmily sports movie, then you've got to watch a Night's Tale, which I do think if we're pushed, I think this is pushing swords and sandals. We are more
into that medieval space. But it's but they are. There are both swords and sandals, So I think we're doing it. We're saying it's it, and it is. So this movie is so great. Summer two thousand and one, very much in the era of like a post kind of you know, she's all that like the teen movie Craze Ten Things I Hate About You, and we get Heath Ledgers William who's a peasant pretending to be a knight, and then you think, oh, well, you know he's hunky. I love
Heath Ledger. I'll watch it for that. No, you're gonna stay because you have Paul Bethany Stealings as Jeffrey Chaucer.
A gambling addicted Jeffrey Chaucer.
Who's like a crew as crude and crazy as you would think. The man who were at the Canterbury Tales was Mark Addie Game of Throne Zone Bobby b. We also have Alan Tudick.
Doing we Gotta talk about This.
One of the worst English accents of all time, which I think was the point, because this is a man who can do a great accent. I think he was doing it for fun. Laura Fraser from Breaking Bad and my own personal very seminal teen crush, Shannon Sosserman, who she's so underrated, her in this and her in Forty Days of Night, The Really Weird Forty Days and Forty Nights,
The Really Weird Celibacy, Josh hartnet teen Romance. I don't know what that was about, but she was very hot in that and actor and former drummer in the La band Warpaint, and also one of my favorites who were about to bring up who is kind of on that Perfoy vibe. They're always evil looking rufus Sewell, who's been in like every kind of movie looking evil.
This is like, he's just got an evil look.
He's just got an evil vibe. He just loves to be vibing and being a little bit evil, and he's always in a great B movie. This is so funny because if you were really like, what is this movie about, you'd be like, Okay, it's a historical jousting drama that's also a comedy that is also an achronistic, like musical right, because they use contemporaneous They use contemporaneous music something like the movie opens with them singing like we will rock.
You, so you stadium rock they throughout this movie.
The costuming in this movie is fantastic, which I think you will appreciate if you enjoyed Gladiator. It is definitely more of that anachronistic style, like they're wearing clothes that are a little bit more fashion to the day. But I do think that the the sports nature of it, the interesting way that they bring jousting to life. The core intrigue is very gladiaty. Who is gonna get married to? Who? The Can you be a peasant and rise to your station?
It's very similar to Gladiator. This is just such a fun movie. Every time I'm like some I'm just like check it out again, guys. This is like a delightful watch.
It's so true.
One of the things I thought while rewatching this was one how everything on TV looks better than this, Like this looks like if you were to throw this on now you your immediate reaction maybe that this looks like a Nickelodeon movie from c.
W or a.
Disney Channel movie. That said, the writing is so good and so witty, and all of these very talented actors are just going forward in wonderful ways, like ye Bettany is.
Jeff Chaucer absolutely.
Steals scenes because he gets to have these monologues in which he's like pumping up William and William's ability as a knight. William is pretending to be this night from like somewhere in Germany, and all of the characters have these like little scenes like that mark Addy has these wonderful moments where he's like he's leading high with his coaching William through stuff like oh, you know, if you turn your shoulder at the last moment and you'll be
able to do this. Laura Frasier is wonderful as like this female armorer who's not respected in the world of armors. Just a great movie and way better than you think it is.
Just are looking at a still from this movie.
I think another thing that makes it really enjoyable and a reason why I think people will like it if they enjoy Gladia, is it has a similar kind of framing of like, oh, well, this is a fictional character meeting real historical people. Like it's the name is taken from The Knight's Tale from Chace as Canterbury Tales. They you know, James Perfuy is in it, as Edward the Black Prince. Obviously Chaucer is in it.
Does not get nude in this On.
To Our Hopes and Dreams because it's pg. Thirteen, But like it has that fun nature of like, well, what if I was just in this time and I could meet some famous people, you know, but not in that over the overwhelming forest Gump he did everything that was ever important in history, way more in that kind of If you're into the Canterby Tales, if you ever had to study it, if you're somebody who likes British history, you'll likely catch some fun historical nods. I just I
really love this movie. I feel like I didn't even love it that much when it came out, but now I'm like, I am a big proponent of this movie. So I'm very glad, and you're a big proponent of the next movie.
Oh, I am specific Kingdom. If if you liked the Will They Won't They? Between Maximus?
Who do that?
And and you like that, you know, kind of buried in a action epic, then you will love Kingdom of Heaven. The director's cut, Ridley Scott Director's Cut. Let's take you back to the post nine to eleven aughts, in which far and entertainment would struggle in trying to make sense of the era that it found itself in in which Islamic extremists apparently had a.
Beef with America.
You got always know why you got all these movies trying to unpack that, and the result was movies like the George Clooney vehicle Siriana, which is this very naughty, complex kind of bad film that has interesting elements to it and will we be feeling depressed? You have an absolute like propagandistic movie like The Kingdom that says, so, you know, if only we could all join forces, uh, you know, the Islamic world and uh and US imperialists side by side could take care of this problem. Bad
movie with several good shootouts. And then you've got a movie like Kingdom of Heaven that tried that is Ridley Scott basically saying, let's go back to the beginning.
Let's go back to it.
Yeah, let's go let's go back to the Crusades and see where this problem started. Now, of those movies I just mentioned, only one is worth your time, and it's Kingdom of Heaven. And only one version of that movie is worth your time is the director's cut. It's just a fantastic, uh action set piece, historical drama. You have Edward Norton in one of his most underrated roles as the leper King of Jerusalem. And then you have two people who should have been stars, Rosie.
Oh, let's talk about it, because this was we actually did it. We started recording maybe half an hour later that we were supposed to because we were, yeah, being about the potential of these stars.
First will be Eva Green, Well, we'll mention her first because we can move all.
You know, I've seen The Dreamers. I know that movie was I yes, she should they made her a bone girl. They killed her. She's a bonde girl, but like she should have been bigger, she should have been having and she had many missed opportunities, the Missus Pereguin's Home for Odd Children, that was obviously meant to be a franchise for her. She just never got the role she was
supposed to. And I'm a huge stan I'll watch Jenna think she's in, but she still hasn't had that breakout moment and it was definitely supposed to be post this.
Next is Wow Orlando Bloom.
Now here is I unveiled my my hair dependency theory.
Let's talk about it to.
The production team this weekend.
And here's my theory on what went wrong with Orlando Bloom's career. Not that he's not had a nice career.
He's married Katy Perry, so he's a great friend.
So very clearly after Lord of the Rings, the guy that everybody was betting on to be the star coming out of Lord of the Rings was Orlando Bloom.
Now, the teens loved him.
The teams loved him. Unfortunately, I think Orlando Bloom made one key mistake, and that is he kept taking notable roles in which he had to have his hair long. Of course, Lord of the Rings you get three movies in which, as Legolis, he's got that beautiful long flowing locks. He then follows that up with Pirates of the Caribbean, in which he's got to have the long flowing locks.
Then comes Troy, a.
Movie with long flowing locks.
And then uh, you know, very sadly comes this movie Kingdom of Heaven, long flowing locks. Not to mention the various Pirates of the Caribbean sequels, long flowing locks, and what happened?
What happened to Orlando Bloom.
We reached a point where like Tom Selleck, like a clean shaven Tom Selleck or a clean shaven Sam Elliott, nobody wants to see it. We only want to see Orlando Bloom with long hair. And it continues he deals with to this day blowing hair.
It really is, you know what we need? I think for Lana Bloom to get his you know, respect, to get his chops, to get recognized, that he to maybe let him know he has the juice. He's going to do like an Ariasta movie or something. I feel like he's got to be like he's going to short hair, but Pattenson route and do like a good time but with a shaved head.
Oh my god, you know, I forgot one. I forgot in this whole run twenty eleven's the Three Musketeers.
Long flowing locks locks.
I just think, you know, when you look at Robert Pattinson is somebody who I think he did this significently. Trap trapped by Brad pitt also who showed up in Film and Louise with the with the wonderful like you know, abs and hair, Legends of the Fall, grew it all out, then shaved it for you know, seven switched it.
He had a different look. Even Leonardo DiCaprio, you know, because he is he was somebody who had the He had the curtains right, and that was like, you've got to have them. He has it in Romeo and Juliet, he has it in Titanic, but then he does Man in the Iron mask, and he has a long flowing locks wig, but his other character's short hair, and suddenly he's mixed out. He's not stuck anymore smart the Curtains lifestyle. I do believe the Orlando Bloom has been hampered by
his long flowing locks. And I say this because I am a Tom Selik Stan I love magnum p I. But you're right. Nobody's nobody wants and nobody wanted to see Indiana Jones with a mustache.
Nobody wanted to see that. And he was trapped man.
Sadly, Selik was, could not, you know, do anything. The only like quickly down Under is like an Australian Western where he's able to have the mustache is like the only hey he could make.
It's like Chicago Fire where he can.
He looks years of twenty years of blue Bloods.
Because cops can have mustaches, Jason, And guess what we know, still rocking that thing, still rocking it, baby. And you know what, the aunties, the grannies, they still love him. They do maybe and maybe in the future Orlando Bloom will be on a long time procedural with long flowing locks, and we'll be eating our words. Because he'll be getting two hundred and fifty thousand dollars an episode.
Look at the stills. If you haven't seen the movie Grand Turismo, Oh twenty twenty three.
Look at based on a true story.
Look at Orlando Bloom in that movie with the with the below the ears hair that clearly they were like, he listen, Orlando, don't do that locks.
Don't you dare show.
Up as his film without your co star the long flowing line looks.
They were like even in this driving movie Grand Tarismo based on a true story, which is a full and me and my friends were assessed with the fact that was the full title from a real story based on a guy who was a videot professional video gamer who then got to race in real racing. Unbelievably strange turn of events to make that your official Grand Tarismo movie. But yes, Orlana Bloom was there with his long flowing locks.
He could have been a star. If the only cut his hair cut off that hair.
He could have better stuff. Yeah. Maybe when the new Peter Jackson movies come, maybe he's gonna be brought brackets legal us. He's looking youngster. They maybe they're gonna put him back in those long flowing locks wigs and it will will be in our words next Okay, So this one is very close to my heart because I am
a big fan of this director. If you liked the overstylized cinematography and like beautiful theatricality of like the rose petals falling in the final battle, which always kind of takes my breath away because it's very unrealistic and just fantastic. And from what we've heard about Gladiator too is continued over in the new movie, So very excited for that.
You got to check out Immortal by Tarsem Singh. Now, this is definitely a Vibes movie because Tarsem is a Vibes director, after his two thousand horror classic The Cell starring Jennifer Lopez and his two thousand and six masterpiece The Fall, which I have to say is currently in theaters for the first time in like twenty years. So just go and see it. You don't need to know what it's about. It's got Lee pace in it. It's
one of the best movies ever made. Tarsem then was like successful enough to kind of go for Hollywood with a high budget fantasy take on Grecian Roman mythology. It has like an unbelievably stacked cast, so you know that they thought that this was going to be super popular. Henry Carvill, Luke Evans, one of my favorites, John Hurt,
Kellen Lutz, FRIEDA. Pinto, and Mickey Watt. Also Stephen Dorf, who look, you might be like, oh Stephendorf, but that man was in Blade, which really launched the MCU, so he always gets an extra shout out for me. They did Short Steve Short, King Loves Steven. This movie is not Sing's masterpiece by any realm of experience, because his
other films have so much more freedom and strangeness. But if you like vibe visuals and you just want to like watch a movie where you're gonna see unexpectedly beautiful, strange cinematography and unbelievable use of color, fantastic production, besignd, this is the movie to watch in this realm.
When I think of Tarzan Sing, I think, of course, those extremely trippy, melty, unforgettable visuals, and I also think of like the color palette, which is yeah, is it feels like this is obviously going to be an oversavment what I'm about to say, But it feels like you're looking at a epic painting. The colors are where the colors are so saturated and kind of on the darker side of the luminescence.
The blacks are so black.
And everything feels there's a depth to it, but it feels like you're watching something in two D. You're watching flat action like a painting. I just love the way his films.
Look in The Fall, which is at least partially Swords and Sandals inspired, so I would say we can. But in that I mean the joke used to be that if you were lucky enough to have a copy of the DVD, which was out of print for many many years but is now streaming on movie and I'm sure with a new four K restoration there will be a physical release, you could pause it at any moment and it looked like you were watching a paint. You were looking at a painting. Like his work on his color work,
his cinematography. He is truly I think a master, and Immortals is like a very interesting space of what happens when you take someone like that and you put them in the Hollywood system rather than just letting them kind of fight it out on their own, but yeah, great weird addition and definitely I think a very fun to see an entry to the swords and sandals genre, which I was gonna say, Jason, what are the other underrated or notable swords and sandals movies that we didn't hit
on here because they didn't fit into our kind of hilarious way of putting this together.
Yeah, I think if if you're listening to this, you're you're you might be saying, hey, what about this movie? First of all, I think we wanted to pick movies that maybe maybe you haven't seen. Maybe you haven't seen this movie, like why didn't we talk about three hundred?
Three hundred was a massive hit.
Yeah, and change the belief for a lot of people, and you've changed the game.
You've probably seen it. I will say that I kind of like three hundred except for the the the the bad, like racial politics of this movie, where like all the good guys are white and all the bad guys are brown.
Not realistic, but you know what, g butts, we love him. And also as well, it's very homo erotic, so that's like it's not a mean is it's not amazing.
The most homo erotic action movie that has been released in the last twenty years.
To me, I'm like, I'm not I'm not a three hundred. I'm not three hundred super fan. But if somebody is like, let's watch three hundred, I'll be like, I can look through the problematic aspects because it's Gerald Butler and it's homo erotic, which to me is to.
This guys getting greased up and like doing it up, like do it like crunches all the time.
The way that it avoids the realities of Spartan men being gay, which is like a very obvious historical thing that's been you know, looked at for many hundreds of years and thousands of years in history, it makes it more gay, which is like repression, and the homo eroticism is there. So you know what, we didn't talk about it, but that's because you've already seen it and it was a huge success and it launched that exit his career, so good for him.
The same with Braveheart, which is directed which is a I think a really good movie that you've probably seen that's direct by a person that is terrible Style Gibson and starring a person's terrible and you've seen the movie probably which contains some of I think the greatest medieval action scenes that you'll ever see in a movie directed by a terrible person. Yeah, why didn't you talk about ben her Good?
This is a notable one. Why are we talking?
I've just never been whether it's the the more recent remake or the classic original, which I think is from sixty or fifty nine or something starring Charlton Heston.
It's just too overtly.
Jesusy for me, like very religi, big religious overtones in that movie, and.
I've never been The chariot scenes are great, but like, I've never been a ben her guy.
I also feel like, if you're our age like it was, ben HAIs one of those oversaturated movies that they always tell you to watch, that like if it's a faster times, always on a time that if you film, they're like, you gotta watch it. Action's great, True, but you guys have already had about it. You already knew about it. That's why we're out here recommending the Weirdow choices.
Why didn't you pick if okay, okay, Rosie and Jason Weirdo picks, then why didn't you pick the Channing Tatum vehicle from twenty eleven, The Eagle.
This is a great question. I will say that's a good movie. Actually did this one almost made the list, So Jason List talk about The Eagle momentarily.
Twenty eleven The Eagle. Channing Tatum is a Roman centurion posted on Hadrian's Wall at the edge of the empire.
It's at the border of you.
Know, England and Scotland, although those nations did not exist at the time, and he's having a deal with this influx of Pictish warriors who have stolen his eagle and ambushed. This meant and I'll say this, Janitatum. When I saw this movie in twenty eleven when it came out, surprised me with this movie because I was like.
Oh, Chanitatum, he's like a good acta.
Yeah, like his accent is passable, his acting is really good and this the action is wonderful.
This is a good movie.
And I'm sorry he didn't make the list, but we liked the other ones better for it.
But that's a good movie. The Eagle.
Incredible cast to Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, Jamie Strong, Tier Ryan who I love who is in this incredible movie called The prophet also in Madam Ware Hilariously that was a strange choice for him, But yeah, this is a fantastic cast, also very practical movie. That's actually why I went to see it, because there's this kind of march that they do. They had lots and lots of extras, and yeah, this is a weirder choice. Also what was going on in twenty eleven that they had this and
immortals at the same time. That's very very deep impact armageddon of them.
Them And then you might say, okay, what about The King twenty nineteen for Netflix, story thing.
From Pattinson and Timmy Chamalay.
Into wonderful roles by.
The Australia some weird stuff.
Yeah, by the hardcore Australian director David Michaude, who I love Ben Mendelsson seemingly in every single DA showed movie that said, Uh, I like The King. I think that Chalomey. You know, I'm a schalome fan. I think he's good. I liked him in almost everything he's done, whether or not I like the movie, and I think that to your point, Pattinson as the French King, the French Prince,
I forget. Yeah, he's the French air to the throne whatever the case is so good and weird in this, Like there's various points where the French king and Chalomey like have these like head to head like but like meetings where they talk about it you surrender me no, you know, And it's just Patterson is so good as the bad guy in this.
I can't recommend that highly enough. You know.
It's mostly a political intrigue movie, yes, or like a royal intrigue movie. So I think that was why it didn't fully make it.
Also, I will say, and we would, we would only we could only put like one medieval thing in there.
Okay, So I want to say, what it speaking of hair, what are the over unders on Timmy shallow May's future because he does always have the curly locks, and in the new movie that he's in where he is playing Bob Dylan, I feel like they were like, he's gotta have curly locks, so let's have him play Bob Dylan. So I'm like, is he gonna be trapped in the
curly locks? Even Willy Wonka is Willy want had curly locks? Like, is he gonna keep them or is he gonna veer to what Is he gonna get like a shaved head? Is he gonna try and break out of curly locks? What do you think?
I think it's a good note. And I'll say this, Chalmy's got to have a beard in a movie soon.
Can he grow a bit?
We got to see we can we can paste something.
Little spirit gum on there. But I think we need that big. I do think that we're we're almost at like full saturation of Timmy face card like in popular culture. I think to your point, the hair is the hair in the face together. We might need to patent sit it up, switch it up a little bit, because I do think we might be getting there with Tim who again, I am a fan.
Of me too, big fan.
It was great And since you mentioned the Bob Dylan thing, that looks fucking bad.
I don't know that.
Trailer felt like SNL like one of his appearances on SNL.
I was a little concerned me too.
I'm shocked because I feel like Bob Dylan, Timothy shallow May. I feel like that feels like it should be a kind of Indie Dolling Can movie. But I will also say, guys, Bob Dylan, we've had the perennial Bob Dylan like biopic already done with like ten of the most famous actors of all time. It was a game change are in the way movies were made. I don't know if you need to do it again, but you know what, good luck to me because I think you're always making me laugh.
I love that you showed up to your own lookalike competition. You got good humor and honestly, like, I'm sure you'll be fine.
I wish, I wish, I wish you, I wish you the best, and I wish our audience the best. As as we wrap up this culmination of Sword and Sandel's movie recommendations that have been inspired by Gladiator, on the next episode of x ray Vision, we're diving into Gladiator two.
Here and go, Here we go.
I want to see the Sharks in the coliseum.
Show me the Sharks. Wrigley Scott, you crazy man crazy. And Tuesday we're doing our Canes series final. It's already it's already over, folks. And Wednesday it's Dune Prophecy episode two.
That's it for this episode. Thanks for listening.
Bye.
X ray Vision hosted by Jason Consumpsion and Rosie Knight and is a production of iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producers are Joelle Smith and Aaron Kaufman. Our supervising producer is a Boo Zafar. Our producers are Carmen Laurent.
And Mia Taylor. Our theme song is by Brian Basquez.
Special thanks to Soul Rubin and Chris Laude, Kenny Goodman and Heidi. Our disco moderata