The Self-Love Hack that no-one talks about

I say random , crazy shit , which is why I called this podcast the way that I did , and I really hate long drawn out intros . So let's fucking go . I know you've all seen those posts about self-love and self-care on social media and it sounds a lot like bubble baths with rose petals and face masks . You know , and those things are , are nice , actually , no .

Face masks yes , I'm currently obsessed with those Dr Jart face masks . They look a little weird , like Hannibal Lecter , but they are so wonderful . I love how they feel . But bubble baths with rose petals they're just a no for me . Imagine you've got a bubble bath . You throw in expensive rose petals .

You lay in there , they're floating around , they might even feel nice . You pick a few of them up and you feel the rose petals and they're nice and soft . But after you've had a wonderful relaxing bath , is there anything relaxing about having to clean out the bathtub with all of these soppy petals ? No , just no , no . So those aren't nice .

Face masks , yes , nice , but the highest form of self-love is keeping promises you've made to yourself . If you read the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz , one of the agreements is be impeccable with your word . And that doesn't just mean with other people , it means with you as well .

If you won't trust a friend who constantly cancels on you , why do you cancel on yourself ? Like , think about that . If you asked a friend to go for a walk with you every single day and she never fucking showed up or she canceled on you every single time , you wouldn't trust her . But we do that to ourselves all the time .

We say to ourselves we set a commitment to ourselves and we decide we're going to walk every single day and then we don't . But every time you break a promise for yourself , it weakens your own trust and you prove to yourself that you can't be counted on . And that sucks . To recognize that you're doing that to yourself , doesn't it ?

I mean , I freaking hate it . And what happens for me is that a lot of times I will stop making promises . I feel like that's what I did last year . I just stopped promising , I stopped committing to myself because I was self-sabotaging .

But when you can start small and you can do something every single day , commit to one thing every single day , what happens is you build that unshakable confidence in yourself . When you do what you said you were going to do , you don't even have to try to be confident , you just are because , deep down , you trust yourself .

When you do what you said you were going to do , you don't even have to be try to be confident , you just are because , deep down , you trust yourself . A lot of people do the 75 hard challenge in an attempt to lose weight , but it's more than that .

What it is is forcing you to commit to yourself and commit to doing something that's quite frankly hard and commit to doing something that's quite frankly hard . So the 75 hard challenges two 45 minute workouts . One workout must be outdoors .

You follow a diet of your choice , you drink a gallon of water , you take a progress picture every day there's no alcohol and no cheat meals and you read 10 pages of personal development . That's the 75 part . You can't like listen to a podcast . You can't like it is read 10 pages . It's that specific .

Now , here's the thing it's about the commitment to yourself , and what happens is . It ends up building your confidence and it ends up like just shifting everything in your life . It's about committing to yourself and having integrity for your , with yourself , with your word . It's not about motivation . Motivation is a trap .

If you are counting on motivation to keep you active in some sort of commitment , you're fucking kidding yourself because it's not going to work . You have to commit to yourself and get up and do the work , even when you don't want to , and especially when you don't want to .

A friend of mine did 75 hard and it was pouring rain and she had to do a 45 minute workout outside . Do you think she really wanted to ? She fucking did not . She so did not . But she was so committed to herself and when she did follow that plan and she hit all the way to 75 days , she became unstoppable . She felt unstoppable .

She felt like there was nothing she couldn't do and her business changed and her life changed and her size changed , but like everything changed and it was so much more than just the workout and the weight loss . It was her knowing she could do something hard , her committing to herself . The highest form of self-love is keeping a promise you've made to yourself .

So let's talk about how we sabotage ourselves , and I'm going to use my 90 day challenge , the work , as an example .

So one of the things that I suggest we do is you choose the goal , and it doesn't matter if it's a weight loss goal , a decluttering goal , it doesn't matter if it's a business goal , a personal goal , a relationship goal , I don't give a shit what the goal is .

Then you choose at least one , no more than two things to do , habits to commit to , under three categories mindset , energy and action . And I'm telling you , if you do this , your life will fucking change Like it will full stop it will . So one thing that I make sure that the women don't do is over-promise and under-deliver .

Let's say they decide that , for under the energy category , they're going to meditate every single day . Now , they've not done any meditation so far . They have wanted to meditate . They might've tried it a few times , didn't really like it , but they believe that meditation is the thing that will change their lives , and PS , it will .

But if you haven't been able to commit to five minutes of meditation , I don't want you to start with a goal of meditation for an hour a day . You're going to fuck up every single time . So you got to set yourself up to win . In order to do that , you take on a small goal and you commit to it every single day .

I'm also going to say if you have not been committing to yourself thus far , I want you to choose one thing meditate one thing under mindset , energy and action , not two . There's a reason why I say no more than two ever , because you will feel like a failure every time . You won't be able to commit to that . Start small and move up .

The other thing is we make the commitment real in the work . We write it down . We refer to it every single day . If you are kind of saying to yourself , yeah , I really should do this , I really should go for a walk every day , okay , you're going to forget that in five seconds . So , in order to follow through , we're going to start small .

We're going to write out the promise that we make to ourselves . We're not going to make excuses , we're going to make adjustments and we're going to talk to ourself like a friend . You wouldn't tell your best friend she's a failure because she missed a day , but you would tell her to get herself back on track . And so you need to do the same for yourself .

Keeping your word to yourself is such a radical act of self-respect and self-love .

And when you do that , when you commit to yourself and you show up every day and you reflect every single day without judgment , but you keep trying and you keep showing up and you keep doing the work , you stop second guessing yourself , you stop looking outside of yourself for validation and you trust yourself .

You build your confidence and you start to change your fucking life . Decide you're going to do one thing , one small thing , every single day . Push yourself slightly , but not too much . Do it for every single day for one week and then come back , dm me , post about it , tag me , tell me what you did and tell me how you feel if you want to join us

in the work . If you sign up today , you start tomorrow . The best day to start is right , fucking now . Actually now go do the work . Thank you so much for listening . I hope you've had some laughs , maybe some ideas , and that you've been inspired to take some type of action toward the life you've always dreamed of .

If you feel so called , I would love it if you would share with your besties and leave a review down below . I look forward to bringing you along on this journey and I will see you in the next episode .