The b*tch in the backseat

I say random , crazy shit , which is why I called this podcast the way that I did , and I really hate long drawn out intros , so let's fucking go . I was talking to a client of mine today and she said she'd looked over her income for the past two months and she saw that it had significantly decreased .

And she said she'd looked over her income for the past two months and she saw that it had significantly decreased . And she started looking at the limiting beliefs , the things that she was telling herself , what was holding her back . And this is the work that I do with my clients .

The majority of the work that I do with my clients is help them reach their goals by reprogramming their subconscious mind . I started thinking about how could I explain the conscious , subconscious and unconscious mind in a way that would give my clients a really good picture of what it is .

So I started thinking about a car , the destination where you want your car to go . Let's say you want to go from Saskatoon to Vancouver . Vancouver is the destination so similar to your goal , no matter what that goal is .

You might have a financial goal , it might be a weight loss goal , it might be a business goal , it could be an award or a position that you want to attain . So that's the destination . The conscious mind is the driver of your car . The driver makes the decisions in real time , pays attention to the road , is fully present .

Your conscious mind is the one that's going to tell you if I want to hit a weight loss goal , I'm going to have water . It's going to be the one that says Sandra , drink your water . You have to drink your water . It's going to be the one that I know I don't want to go to the gym , but I'm going to say to myself let's get up , let's go .

Motherfucker Time to go to the gym . That's your conscious mind . Your unconscious mind is like the stuff in the trunk of your car you didn't open . You don't know what the fuck is back there . It's stuff you don't remember and in fact you can't even open it because you've shoved the key in the lock and then broke it off .

Can you figure out what's in the trunk of your car . Sure , with a little bit of effort , and it might be scary You'd need a crowbar to try to get in there and it takes a lot to get back there and it might be stuff you don't want . I mean it might be rotting food you wish you'd never opened , right .

So your unconscious mind , or the trunk , the stuff in the trunk of your car , it's the stuff that you don't remember and you probably don't remember for a reason . Um , I get . I'll give the example of I . I hate pencils . Like I absolutely hate pencils . It is illogical for me to hate pencils . I also hate pens without caps . That is also illogical .

I I think my family must think I'm a complete loon , because I remember my husband saying why did you throw out all those pencils , like they're still good pencils ? And I said because I hate pencils . And he just blinked at me Like it's illogical . And I know it's illogical .

And so I was thinking one day I wonder why I hate pencils , like this is a little weird . And why do I also not want to keep any pens without caps , like especially if they've been chewed on ? And I realized that when I was in grade six , my math and English teacher was a guy I was very scared of .

If we made a mistake he laughed at us like mocked us in class . I felt really uncomfortable and extremely scared of him . He also was the vice principal and gave the bad kids the strap . So you know , like there was reason for me to be scared of him .

I never got it , but you know he was a scary dude and he taught us math and he said I hate pencils and you will use pens , like who uses pen in math . That's just like , isn't ? That's probably the re . The whole existence of pencils is for math , I'm pretty sure of it .

But he wouldn't allow us to use pencils , so we had to use pen and if we chewed on our caps of our pens , he would throw our pens out too . Right , I will guarantee you . That is why , to this day , I hate pencils and I throw pens without caps . It was a memory , an experience that I had in my unconscious mind that I'd completely forgotten .

I'd blocked it right out . I needed a crowbar to get in there , but I got in there , figured it out . Now , now that I consciously know why I don't like pencils , I can choose differently , or I can just say fuck it , I still hate pencils and throw them out . It doesn't matter , but at least I know why it's there . So that's the unconscious mind .

So the subconscious mind is like the backseat driver in your car the bitch in the backseat that annoys the fuck out of you . You just want to throw a puncher because the shit that she says is all negative . It's all holding you back from achieving your goal . It's holding you back from getting to the destination that you want to go .

Our subconscious mind controls 80 to 90% of our actions . It's trying to keep us safe and it doesn't want to change . The bitch in the back seat thinks she's right and she will scream and yell at you until you listen to her and you play it safe .

She feeds you the directions based on all of the experiences , beliefs , thoughts , everything that's in the back of your mind the subconscious thoughts or the bitch in the back seat . It sounds like you are not good enough , you're not strong enough , you're not going to be able to do this . What if someone judges you ? What if you fail ?

What if someone judges you ? What if you fail ? What if this doesn't work out ? Maybe you shouldn't ? That's what the chick in the back seat is like , and that's what we want to reprogram , because we can reprogram her to be supportive .

We can reprogram those thoughts to be helping you get towards your destination , instead of holding you back and telling you no , fuck it , let's just go back into the garage and have a sandwich , okay . So there's ways that I really work on with my clients to reprogram this . The first is we have to identify what we're doing here .

Like we have to identify what is the bitch in the back seat saying . We have to just pay conscious attention to , like , bring it to the conscious mind , think what am I saying to myself ? And as soon as we say something that would be disempowering , then that's number the first .

The first number one is , like , let's just be aware of the shit that we're saying to ourselves . That's not helpful . Step number two is , like challenging that belief . Is that true ? Is that benefiting me ? Is that helping get me closer to my goal or farther away ?

And , like PS , honestly , all of our thoughts we should be thinking is this getting us to our goal or getting us farther away ? Is this action taking me closer to my goal or taking me farther away ? Always , always , always , we should be reaching towards the action , the belief , the thought that takes us closer to our goal . So we challenge the belief .

Is this something that is serving me , yes or no ? If it's not , we get to rewrite the story . If we're saying to ourselves , I'm not good enough , I'm not strong enough , I'm not thin enough , I'm not enough , this isn't going to work , what can we say ? How can we reprogram this so that we can be in awareness and then tell a different story ?

We want to tell a different story . Affirmations work really really well for this , you know , and I really like the daily repetition . I think that what happens is the more often we repeat something , the more often when we can repeat something or reprogram on a daily basis .

If we can do this , we repeat this new belief every single day , it becomes stronger and stronger and stronger . So the bitch in the back seat doesn't come back at us as much . She can start to say positive things . This is why things like sticky notes on your mirror work In my son's locker room .

They have a sign in their locker room that just says finish , and it's just a small little thing , but it's telling their subconscious mind every single day something that is programming it for good . One of the things that I really like is a story that I heard Michael Phelps does the US swimmer . So you know he's won a zillion Olympic medals for swimming .

I mean , he is just amazing and a lot of times we think , well , this guy , if he's been able to achieve this success , he must have a killer mindset . Guess what ? Michael Phelps and everyone else on the planet has ? A shitty backseat driver . Every single one of us .

The difference between those people who don't hit success and those people who do is the commitment to reprogramming their subconscious mind . It is the strengthening techniques of their mindset , the things that they do and the conscious decision to reprogram their mind actually and the commitment that they make to doing this thing . So here's what he does .

He uses something called the doorway effect . You can Google the doorway effect . It has another name , I just can't think of it right now . Think of it right now , but the doorway effect is like this mental technique that he does all the time when he's struggling with , you know , some limiting beliefs .

He says an affirmation every time he goes through the doorway and it's just one of the mental tricks that helps him build this like strong mindset for success .

So whether , like , let's say , it doesn't really matter what his limiting belief is that he's struggling with , with that day , he will just say an affirmation every single time he walks through the door , every door , and it's an empowering message that starts to reprogram his subconscious mind so that the bitch in the back seat is telling him nice things .

And it might sound small , but this act of saying an affirmation every time he crosses a doorway , it creates a trigger and a repetition pattern and it keeps him focused . He keeps him focused on where he wants to go , keeps him grounded and it reinforces belief in himself over and over and over again .

All of those Olympic athletes they have these mindset techniques and they commit to using them . It is a lot easier to listen to the bitch in the back seat than it is to force yourself to do affirmations every day . It's way easier .

But if you want to get to your goal and you deserve to get to every single destination that you want we have to have to have to start telling us positive things in the back of our minds . The last thing that I like to do is visualization . I think that visualizations are so key and one of the things that we often forget to do .

We forget to think about what is it that we want , what is what is it that we want ? What is it that we want to achieve ? Where are we going and what will it look like when we get there ? It is so powerful .

We used to do this in skating all the time when I was competitively figure skating and just the idea of picturing yourself doing the damn thing , no matter what it is , whether you are competing on a Canadian stage or whether you're getting you're reaching those $10,000 a month , $20,000 a month , doesn't really matter

. When we can visualize ourselves and we can put ourselves there , we start to tell our subconscious mind this is where we're going . All of this makes a big , huge difference and is really the difference between not seeing your goal and achieving it .

It's so highly important and is part of the work that I love to do with my clients , because when we can reprogram the subconscious mind , we start to see them hitting their goals , and what is more fun than that ? Like seriously , I love it . I hope that helps . Have an amazing day . We'll see you tomorrow . Thank you so much for listening .

I hope you've had some laughs , maybe some ideas , and that you've been inspired to take some type of action toward the life you've always dreamed of . If you feel so called , I would love it if you would share with your besties and leave a review down below . I look forward to bringing you along on this journey and I will see you in the next episode .