That "thing" that stops us from achieving our goals

I say random , crazy shit , which is why I called this podcast the way that I did , and I really hate long drawn out intros , so let's fucking go .

I just finished recording a podcast that I co-host called the Happy Half Hour , and it really is like a really cool conversation , just with two amazing chicks for half an hour and with the goal of learning about ourselves .

We kind of talk about not only the things that happen to us throughout the week or the things that have come up in our coaching calls or in our lives , but also the realizations , the things that we've learned about ourselves in the process , because awareness is huge and we both just totally nerd out on this idea that life is just miraculous and when we can

learn more about ourselves , life becomes happier , richer , more abundant , more fun , and so it's really just a conversation about ways in which we learned about ourselves really in all different scenarios and how we can relate to our clients and things like that .

And she was talking about a conversation she had with a weight loss client and she asked her how she was doing and she said she was doing OK and plan wise . However , when Lee asked her about her stress , she said well , you know .

She started telling the story about how stressed she was because her 18 year old son had got this job at Mercedes-Benz , which he asked cool , anyway . So her son got this job at Mercedes-Benz , but he was continually getting speeding tickets and if he got one more speeding ticket , he was going to lose his job . And so I'm wondering where are we going with this ?

But the thing was was that this was creating a significant amount of stress for her . This situation or she was an interpreting it in that way Now she had said that it was her job her job to stop him from getting more speeding tickets . She was worrying , like it was like her business , and she was staying up , she was driving around looking for him .

She was so , so , so scared that he was gonna get another speeding ticket or some other ticket and lose this job , and she believed that it was her job to stop him from doing this .

And so , in the podcast Lee and I were talking about how , like you know , realistically , 18 year olds like if you've got an 18 year old male that you've raised , by the time they get there we should buy .

Like we should know that nothing , we're going to say , no consequences that we can spell out , they're not gonna listen to us , they think that they are invincible . I , two years after 18 years old , am still trying to learn this lesson . But you know we can step outside of that and go .

Well , if he loses his job , like it's a fucking lesson he's gonna learn right . However , it's not always that easy , particularly when you have your own goal , your own changes , your own plan that you wanna implement . And it takes some fucking work . It takes work on yourself . It takes facing your own demons . It takes convincing yourself you're worth it .

It takes convincing yourself to do the work that when you don't want to eat the vegetables , when you don't wanna and not give in to temptation .

But here's the thing the distractions are no different than cheesecake , just less calories . The distraction is no different than alcohol if you're trying to stop drinking . The distraction is something that we choose as a coping mechanism so that we don't have to look in the mirror . The distractions are all around us and a lot of times we choose those .

When we sit in resistance we think , okay , well , I want to , I'm paying this coach , or I'm paying this therapist , or I'm saying out loud to the universe and my friends and my dog that I wanna lose weight , or that I want to start this business , or I want to improve my business . We do this so often .

We say this stuff and then we realize , wait a minute , this shit is hard , wait a minute , I'm gonna have to do things I am not comfortable doing . I would rather sit than do the hard thing . So every single time there's a situation outside of ourselves , it becomes the distraction , it becomes the reason , it becomes our coping strategy .

It's like our way out , because we believe wholeheartedly that people are going to think yeah , that makes sense . Of course you have to stop your son from speeding . Of course that's your job . Mercedes-benz is a really cool job .

Of course you should spend all of your day focusing and stressing on how and what you can say to your son to get him to smart in the fuck up . Of course that makes sense . And we're really in resistance when we're really fearful , when we're really not willing to take a look in the mirror at what we're doing . We're gonna find more . I did this myself .

I decided that I was going to go all in on my business and I was going to run this five days of Feng Shui . I was loving it . It was amazing and as soon as I did , as soon as I announced it and just before I went to start it , my son had end up hospitalized for five days A week thing .

He had a flip turf burn from football from the weekend before and ended up getting a work . He just got a bar in the knee and it created a septic situation for him and handed up hospitalized for five days . It was the exact five days that I was running this challenge . I remember thinking holy shit . And I had a coach at the time that said push through .

I had people saying to me for God's sake , sandra , cancel the program , cancel . Your course , everyone will understand , but I knew that if I did well , I knew that I didn't have to . I knew that I could do it all . I knew that he didn't want me staring at him . Anyway . It was a 19 year old , 20 year old kid 19 I guess he was .

My 19 year old football player does not want to see his mother sitting in the chair next to him in the hospital room . Trust me , the amount of time that I was there was probably too much , and what I did was deliver him food , and I chose in that moment to not give in to the distraction . Could I have abs ? A fucking Lutli .

Could I have doubled down and defended myself that I needed to be there for my son ? Yes , could I have said I need to cancel this ? Would everyone have accepted it ? Yes , of course they would have . I was a bad mom for not being there 24 seven .

I was probably a better mom for not being there for 24 seven , because my kid would kill me and I knew that I wasn't . I wasn't going to give into my distraction , as I didn't need to . I could do it all and I could control what I could control .

We spend so much time focusing on shit that we cannot control , trying to control stuff that isn't ours or worrying about stuff like it's our motherfucking job , and worrying doesn't do anything . It's like praying for something we don't want .

I would rather spend my time journaling out my fears and then trying to release that so that I could live in faith and continuing on the plan . When I am on a weight loss journey , like I am now , can I convince myself ? Can I convince myself that ? But oh , I don't know . Life is too stressful , you know . There's all of these reasons .

I've got company coming . My house is a disaster because we're going through rentals . So I deserve pizza . Sure , I could convince myself of that , but that's bullshit . You and I both know that I have a fridge and I have hummus and carrots . That's good for lunch . I don't need to convince myself that I can go for pizza . You would buy it .

You would say , oh , yeah , totally , rentals are fucking tough . Yeah , don't , absolutely . You know what . You can diet later . But if I did that , if I leaned into the distraction , if I went full force into oh my gosh , I'm gosh , my house is a disaster . I'm just spinning in the middle . Let me cry , let me complain to everyone .

Let me not learn from this , which I really , really have been . It keeps me stuck , it keeps me in resistance and allows me to like , like we said today , it's like you know , she likes her shit bath . Spend time recognizing the distractions and really focusing on . Is this within my control ?

I think I've said this before in the podcast , but I'm going to see it again because I say it to myself all the fucking time . God , grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change , courage to change the things I can , and wisdom to know the difference .

That prayer is the best part of my dad's drinking right there , because I live by that and sometimes I need the reminder .

What we spend most of our time on is shit we cannot control and we forget what is within our control and we often once it gets hard because any goal that we have is going to be not fucking easy , otherwise we'd be sitting at the goal .

So once we sit , we recognize this is where I want to go , this is my goal , and we know distractions are going to come up . We can ring that through our brain . Is this mine to own ? Can I release this now ? What is within my control , what is not within my control , what is up to the universe , god , the spirits , the angels and what is mine ?

Because the majority of the things that are not ours to control keep us in the distraction and stop us from achieving everything that we've always desired . Thank you so much for listening . I hope you've had some laughs , maybe some ideas , and that you've been inspired to take some type of action toward the life you've always dreamed of .

If you feel so called , I would love it if you would share with your besties and leave a review down below . I look forward to bringing you along this journey and I will see you in the next episode .