Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of wrong to strong Chicago. My name is Omar Calvillo. Uh, we've got our father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Give you grace and peace tonight. I have my guest. His name is Jose Martin Mendoza. This brother's joining me all the way from He's from New Mexico. I believe he's not here by coincidence. I believe in divine connections. I want to send a shout out to Julie and Mike
Rodriguez for making this connection. Thank you for being out here brother. No problem brother. It's a blessing to be here. Amen. Doing the Lord's work of course is my passion. For what he did for me. And um, I can't pay, I can't, I ain't got enough to pay him back. But at least I can do is spread his word. And um, Basically tell the people what he did for me and what he can do for you.
Yes, yes, man. We're going to get to all that, man. Oh, this brother, I know he's out here from New Mexico, but he didn't grow up out there. So you want to tell us where
did you grow up at? I was born on the south side of Chicago. Uh, it's called the Brighton Park area. Um, 38 and Kesey were my stomping grounds. I was born and raised out there. Okay. You know, can
you describe that area? Like for the people that have never been to Chicago, maybe let's go back to when you were young childhood, any childhood memories, you know, things that, you know, that you remember like growing up
in that area. Okay. Um, well, it's a gang infested neighborhood. I can tell you that. All right. So, um, you know, I went to grammar school. I grew up a troubled kid, as you can say, um, I was always getting suspended. Okay. You know, I was getting into fights and of course, uh, the gangs were doing their thing. But, you know, I was doing my kid, of course, being a, being, doing my thing growing up, um, you know, as a troubled kid. You know, I didn't grow up with my parents.
My mother I knew, but, um, my father I never knew. Um, my grandma raised me since I was three months, me and my sister. And I had two uncles that were father figures. They were, you know, they speak life into me, told me, you know, they'd take me to work and stuff when I was really young. So, you know, they were, you know, really good father figures. Okay. You know, but as we got older, you know, um, of course the neighborhood got worse.
And then, um, you know, I was getting close to what, seventh, eighth grade. And then that's when the gang, the gang bangers, they started, you know, trying to introduce me into the gangs. But I wasn't ready for it. But as I lived in a neighborhood, you know, well, we were, the gang I was in, it was called two, six. Okay. So we're against the Latin Kings, you know, disciples, you know, even though they were supposed to be on our side, but, you know, that's another story.
But, um, you know, my, the way I looked, I looked like a gangbanger. So basically I lived in a neighborhood, so I was already considered a gangbanger when the rivals came around. And so of course I got chased a lot. But, um, before I got out of, uh, graduated out of grammar school, you know, I got tired of it, you know. So, basically, I got drunk one day and then I got jumped into the gangs. So I started really young. So that
was like an 8th grade around there? Yeah,
I was 7th, I was introduced, and then 8th grade I finally gave up, and then I joined the gang. Right, now
I know you mentioned like your dad not being around, and your like uncles, did anybody in your family ever try to keep you away from the street life, or was it just like
everywhere you went? Like I said, you know, my grandmother, of course she was a really praying lady, a Catholic, okay? And then my uncles too, you know, they used to whoop me when I did stuff wrong, you know what I mean? But... I guess I was a really tough guy because that whooping never, you know, straightened me up, you know, as I got older, you know, my grandma, of course, got more worrier, you know, don't, you know, don't stay out of trouble, and my uncle too, you know, like.
They taught me how to work. So I wasn't afraid of work, you know, but I lived in a neighborhood, you know, and then it was just a thing when you grew up in the neighborhood, either you start gangbanging or you move the way or something, you know, right. And then my choice was, of course, the gangbang. All right.
So, so around a grade, you, join, how, how did your life change? Like once you join, like. What, what things did you start happening, you know, and, and, you know, describing for the people, there's a lot of people, like I said, like I said earlier, you know, they never been in Chicago, they don't know the culture and just the way things go, you know, so
maybe. Okay. Since, uh, when I started gang banging, okay, like I told you from the beginning, I started getting, I used to get chased all the time. All right. But when I joined the gang, I was doing the chasing. Okay. These, you know, it, it was a constant fight, you know, cause these guys will go to our neighborhood all the time, you know, cause basically they had to pass our neighborhood to go to their, to the other side of their neighborhoods.
And so we were constantly, you know, meeting up with each other. Okay. They'll go to our neighborhood. We'll go to their neighborhood. All right. So like I said, I started really young. So when I was 16, I got caught with a gun. Um, I did two weeks in the audi home with a, you know, two weeks in the audi home and I got out. And then, you know, as I got older, it got worse. Okay. I got really bad on alcohol. Okay. I was working at White Castles too.
So I'll only sleep probably like two, three hours a day and go to work in the morning, still drunk. You know, and then, um, the rest of the day after work, it was party all night, all right? And of course, gangbanging, you know, it's... You know the neighborhood I lived on it was constant, you know, the battlegrounds, you know, I mean, you're always watching your back if a truck backfires You're jumping on the floor because you're somebody's gonna somebody's shooting at you.
You know, I mean, so, you know I mean your life was just constantly watching your back, you know The streets of Chicago ain't nothing nice. Okay, you got to constantly watch your back Even if you're not a gangbanger because just the way you look, you know That's the life that we have to live if we were not a gangbanger, you know, I mean It's just the way you look the colors you wore, you know, someone's gonna mess with you.
Your windows are tinted You know, I mean even though you're not you got big rims on your car, you know uh, you're Jamming out to music. That's just all kinds of reasons for them to shoot at you, you know what I
mean? You're just bringing like an unnecessary attention to yourself. Exactly,
you know? And then when the, you know, the, the police start enforcing the colors, you know, it does, you know, who's scared of the police? We're not, because you're going to get locked up, you get out the next day, you know, because we of course wanted to show our colors all the time. And then, um, you know, it's just a constant daily gangbang, but, you know, for a lot of people, it seems scary, but when you're in it, it's not, you know, I can say it was an adventure, but now, you know.
It's an adventure because, you know, I like, I enjoy doing it because, you know, I never walked alone, okay? And even if I did, I always had a gun on me, you know, I, you know, I thought, I thought I was, I thought I was the police, the gangbanger police, because I was a tough guy with a gun, you know, I didn't, sometimes I had two guns, you know, it, you know, I never walk alone, it would be with a gun or with my friends, you know, you're a tough guy, right?
Because you got a gun, you know, but, They come around, you know, I, I'm not afraid until that is day right now. I'm still not afraid, but you know, people used to shoot at me. Okay. And then when they used to shoot at me, I used to run towards them. Like I was Superman. That was really stupid. You know, now I think of it. Can I ask you this,
like back then, I know you mentioned, you know, maybe not afraid, not even afraid to die. Was there a part of you that maybe wanted to die? Was that ever like in your mind? And the reason I ask that, cause like with me, like I told people like back then, it's not that I was like a tough guy, but I just didn't care whether I lived or died. Like I had, my mentality was like, I didn't see a future for myself. You know what I'm saying?
And I thought it'd be better if, if, if I were dead, you know, like in a sense. So that's the reason I asked that like, like, like looking back, obviously like trying to get back to that mindset. Was that part of you that maybe wanted to get taken out or? No,
actually my mind didn't think like that. You know what I mean? Cause my mind was just like, I don't care, you know, but you know, the thought of me of dying never, you know, came to my, crossed my mind. But, you know. Living in, living the life that I did, I seen a lot of people die in front of me, you know what I mean, I seen my friends, you know, cause we smoked a lot of PCP when I was young, okay, a lot of my friends died during that, okay. You know, and then when one of my
friends they died from that or because they were under
the influence on their influence Okay, that drug used to basically turn you into a zombie. Okay, you cannot function with that get with that drug But a lot of us were smoking
it because I'll be being stuck. You know, I was there too I used to smoke that but basically you're right. You're a zombie you easy You I mean if you smoke it a lot, you basically can't move man. You're like
you cannot focus Yeah, your mind is totally out of it You know, I mean, so like I said, I had a lot of friends that died on that, you know, and then, uh, my, my chief, okay, you know, the day before he shot himself, um, one of my, my friends, the gangbanger, he was a two six, he got in a fight with this friend of ours in the neighborhood that we grew up with, we went to grammar school with, okay, and then the dude was a boxer, okay, And then, um, you know, he beat up one of my friends, you know,
and he was in a gang banger. So dude went back and got his gun and killed him. Okay. And he was a real good friend of a lot of us. So, you know, we took it really hard. Okay. Dude got locked up, of course, but we took it really hard. You know, we're all drunk. We were partying and we had this, uh, I'm not going to mention his name, but he was our chief. Okay. And then we were in the alley. We were partying and stuff. And, you know, we're.
You know, feeling down about that, you know, and then the dude, you know, our chief was playing with a gun, you know, and he's like, dying is nothing. Dying is nothing. And he was playing with a 25 and he basically shot himself in the head while he was playing with it and just died right in front of our face, man. You know, it's just, you know, to see that stuff happen, you know, it's just like, I don't know, I. Like I said, I didn't have a heart back in days back in those days.
Okay, so it was just like oh man Now another dude just got killed. You know, I'm saying it's just like adding to the list It's like another line on your wall, you know, but You know, it's my mind.
It wasn't really there because all the drugs I did, you know, I mean It just made me like, you know, I lost another friend, you know, but my heart wasn't really feeling bad about him, you know, like, no, no, no, no conscience in a sense, you know, it's because the drugs, the drugs and the alcohol to control my, my thinking, my mind, you know, I didn't, I didn't, I did not have a heart for people like that, you know, it's just, you know, these guys were my friends. That's it.
My boys, you know, but yeah. You know, you say you love him, you know, love, bro, but this is a gang thing. You know what I'm saying? Love, but you really don't love. Cause when you get locked up, bro. Okay. When I got locked up, you know, I grew up a Catholic. All right. When I got locked up, how old were you when you got locked up? Okay. My first time, like I told you, I was 16. I did two weeks in audio because I got caught with a 38. Right.
When I was 18, I got caught with another 38 colt or cop's gun. Right. But I was in and out of jails all the time. I was in the county 11 times. I never went to prison, but I'll tell you later why, okay? But you know, I did a year not on a whole house arrest. I did six months in the audio home, the longest. Okay. But of course, that's another gang bang life, right? You know, but you know, when I was locked up, that's the only time I knew God.
Okay. I said, you know, I've talked to God, but it was only God, not Jesus. Cause I didn't know Jesus. Okay. I knew there was God. Okay. And I said, God, you know, man, I'm sorry, man. I said, if you get up, get me out of this, you know, I'll change my life. You know, I'll behave. But you know what? That was a promise I didn't keep, you know, because I didn't really know him and I was just doing it for my sake, you know what I'm saying?
But of course I got out but then I ended up learning again and I'll be doing the same thing over and over again You know, but like I said, my record is really big, you know, I've been in and out of county gangbang in a county, you know, I'm saying it's just, it's just another world of gangbang, you know, so that's, that was my life. If you either in jail or out of jail, either way I was gangbanging, you know, that's the life that I grew up. I didn't know no other life.
Okay. My life was based, based on 38th street, two six, you know, but you know, I lost a lot of friends, you know, and I did a lot myself. Okay. I was known out there cause you know, I did a lot of stuff. Okay. I shot it and they shot me, you know what I mean? But the stuff that I did, you know, people were looking for me, you know, but it's cause what I did, you know, but yeah.
You know, that's, you know, I, I wanted to be known, okay, so I made myself known, okay, a lot of people knew me, the opposite gangs, because I made sure they knew me, okay, because I wanted to, I wanted to be known, okay, because I wanted to be famous, but the wrong famous, you know what I
mean? And then, and then in the street life, in order to be famous, you gotta... But like put in work, like they say, or, you know, like, yeah, get yourself out there. All right. So I know you mentioned all that, like, um, in and out the County. Um, you said you, you called out to God when you were locked up that, uh, at any point in there, whether in Juvie or County, did any ministers ever go try to share the word with you or not? Like, how did that
look? All right. There's Catholic church. They got Catholic church call. Yeah, I went, you know what I went for to talk to the other guys in the other division, have your meetings. Yeah, that's it. You want to talk
about that? I know a lot of people usually just go to church just to, to
have their gang meeting. Right. That was part of me. That's like I said, you know, it's, you know, I came to God when I wanted a favor. Okay. But I go to his house when I wanted to talk to other people, but it wasn't God's people. You know what I mean? So I used it wrongly. Yeah. I mean? Gotcha.
So, so that was then. Um, so you're in and out. Uh, at any point, did, um, something change like, um, like in your life? How, how, how did your life look? Or like, how, how old were you? Were you were still out here in Chicago,
like in, I, I left Chicago in 2001. Okay, okay. I just got outta, I just got outta county. Okay. I got caught out, got outta the county for burglary to auto, you know, I was about probably close 40 something.
Okay. And then, um, my mother, she used to come visit, she moved to Texas, okay, my mother, you know, she lived here in Chicago, but she moved to Texas when my brothers and sisters from their different dad were young because she didn't want her kids to be around, you know, this gangs and stuff like that. So my grandma kept me. Kept me and my sister because we're from a different dad because she felt that Other her my mother's other husband was gonna treat us, right?
Okay, so that's what that's the explanation about them My grandma raising me and my son and my uncle's that's when you were young, right? Yeah Okay, so My mother used to come visit us from Texas and she used to tell me, Iwan, you wanna get away from this? You know, call me. So when I got outta county, like last time before I left to Texas, I called her, but I was drunk. And I called her in the night and I was like, yeah. She goes, call me in the morning when you're sober.
I wanna see if you're true. And then why is that?
cause when you're drunk you'll say something. Yeah. You say a lot of stuff. The next day, I forget how, you know, Yeah. It's, it is easy to get emotional when you're
drunk, right? Yeah. So, um, she did, I did, you know, I called her, so she sent me a bus ticket. Okay, so get, get, um, do not get me, okay, I didn't start, I didn't start my, uh, probation because I was on probation, an intense probation, okay, I did not even get to the paperwork yet, I just left, man, I packed up and left, so, I lived in, um, Texas. Okay. I started working since I got, I went into Texas. I was going out of town, you know, chipping concrete truck.
I hit 23 states in like four and a half years. I never traveled before, but I kind of liked it because I was traveling, but you were traveling
through work.
Uh, okay. Uh huh. I was shipping concrete trucks. I went to, I've been to 23 states in the United States, you know, but only for work. Okay. I go, I go off for like, okay. This, uh, seven weeks, six, seven weeks, as long as I stayed out was three months and I'll come home for a week, but then I'll party, you know, I'll waste all my money. So when I, when I started doing that, you know, I was working good, but I started wasting all my money on, uh, alcohol and drugs. All right.
Um, I did that for four and a half years off and on, all right, so I got tired of it and then, uh, yeah, alcohol and drugs were a big part of my life because, you know, I got away from the gangs, you know, but, you know, how
hard or easy was that for you to, like, leave Chicago, like the gang, because I know you put years, like, sounds like many years into that. It's also like that, let's say when you left, how did you feel like leaving, I
guess? You know, in my heart, I guess God was already speaking to me because. My mind kept on going if I stay here, I mean, I'm either gonna be dead or I'm gonna be jail You know, and then my really high thinking is I was gonna be dead cuz I did a lot of stupid stuff Okay, so that's why I called cuz I did you know, I had kids already, you know when I was 18 I had my daughter okay from my ex girlfriend and my baby's mama.
I got three kids from I would have had four But she had one aborted I have two, three right now, but one of them, the other one's put, she had put for adoption. Okay. I signed the papers cause you know, I wasn't raising my kids as it was. Right. Okay. Um, yeah. Um, actually my baby's mama, she was a gangbanger too. So she used to fight guys. She was a rough girl. So, you know, kind of like we had, you know what I mean? But, um, it is what it is.
Okay. So, you know, I, I packed up and I left, you know, when I left, I used to see my kids. You know what I mean? I was still trying to be a father, I'd come visit him and stuff like that. But as time go by, you know, I was doing more drugs and, you know, I just forgot about them, you know? And then, um, when I was in Texas, like I said, I, you know, I got introduced to more drugs when I was in Texas. You know, my sister introduced me to, um, Lean. I don't know if anybody knows about that.
No, no, what was that? It's, uh, a cough medicine with codeine in it. So you mix it up with, uh, Hi C and it gives you like some kind of, a lot of rappers in Texas drink that stuff. Oh, so you, is it a drink? Like an actual drink? Well, it's actually a cough medicine for kids and it's got codeine in it. Okay, but a lot of people use that as a drug.
They mix it up with, uh, like I said, Hi C and it, it like... I don't know, knocks them, knocks them out, you know, chills them out, but, um, uh, crack cocaine, I got introduced to crack cocaine, you know, but they didn't force it on me, but me, I had a, a background of drugs, so I said yes to any drugs, right, right,
and then, almost like you're chasing the next high, like, yeah, let me
see what this is all about, or, yeah, and I got really hooked on them, you know, well, the lean was, you know, I wasn't really fond of it because it didn't really do nothing to me, I like drugs that knock me on my butt, okay, You know, I was really bad on cocaine too, you know, when I was in Chicago too, and then of course here again too in Texas. And so my life was always based on drugs and alcohol.
Okay. But when I was 16, you know, I was working at White Castles when I was gangbanging too already too. But, um, I, I got ulcers when I was 16. They took me out the back door. So, um, The back door of the,
the, the White Castles? Yeah.
Was that the ambulance or your friends or who took you? It was, you know, I was the guy that cooked, cleaned in the morning and I cook, uh, burgers in the afternoon. So it was time for me to start cooking burgers. I just got through with my break and I just like dropped to the floor. And my, cause I like to goof around a lot and still to this day, you know, and then, uh, she thought I was goofing around, you know, I started sweating.
I just knocked out and, you know, she got scared and they called the ambulance and they just rushed me to the hospital out the back door, you know, but I ended up, you know, I had ulcers, you know, that. That disease is an old person's disease, and I was only 16, so that would tell you right there that I started drinking alcohol, alcohol at a young age, but I was hitting it really hard. Gotcha. You know,
can I ask you a question? Like, like, going back, I know you mentioned, uh, like, your mom, you, you, you said you, you've never met your dad, so you, you, you don't know who your dad is, and then your mom leaving with your, with your grandma, like, growing up as a young kid. Did that ever affect you? Like, man, did you ever, man, I want to be with my mom. I want to know who my dad is. That was that ever like at any, in your childhood, was that something that, that you
thought about, felt? Well, like I said, my mom, she used to come visit us a lot. Okay. But I was like, kind of used, used to live with my grandma. Cause you know, she raised me since I was three months. Okay. But there was a time that my father did call me. Me and my sister, I was probably about 10 years old, okay? And then he lived in California. And then, um, he called us on the phone. He sent me and my sister a money order of 50 bucks. And then he called us. And then he was basically talking.
He's calling me, son, son. And I was like, why are you calling me son? He goes, I'm your father. I said, no, you're not. And he's like, why you say that? I said, because...
You know, you haven't been here for me, you know, and then he started telling me he wanted me to go visit him in California and that like made me more mad, you know, he had his family out there I can understand, you know, I understand that, but what really made me mad is that he wanted me to go visit him, you know, I mean, he didn't want to come. He didn't come and see us. And then basically, I don't want to hear nothing no more. So I told him I don't want to talk to him no more.
And then I passed the phone to my sister. And then my sister is like a year and a half older than me. But, um, she started lovey dovey, Oh, of course I'll go listen, go visit you, I was like, What are you doing? I basically took the phone from her, And I hung it up, and I ripped up the money orders. You know, so I, I really had, you know, resentment, anger, anger towards him. Yeah. See, my dad passed away already, you know, but of course I had to, you know, forgive him, you know what I mean?
Cause I don't know his side of the story, you know what I mean? Of course, there's always two sides. You know, my mother will tell me one thing, but you know, of course she's going to tell me her side, but I didn't get to hear his side. So, you know, now I kind of felt bad that I didn't get to, you know, but it happened. Yeah, I'm sure
now, cause we'll probably get to that part of the story, you know, the change, but. Back then I mean it makes sense, you know, you're not around and and there's a lot of men man That that's that's their story, you know, like yeah, hey you do you you weren't there when I was young now You're trying to come in you expect me to call you father like man. It's rough man. It's rough So now let's get back.
You said you were in Texas You, you, you're on crack, you're a man just so, so you're like, how, how, how bad did it get or how did life look like?
All right. See, I was, since I started gangbanging, you know, I was a good worker. Okay. Cause my uncle's took me to work. Okay. So I was a hard worker. Okay. But the thing was, I couldn't keep a job because of course the alcohol and the drugs. All right. So I always get fired cause I'm on stage and I'll call in and not go in. You know, and the same thing in Texas, you know, because, you know, drugs cost money. All right, alcohol, you can get anywhere. All right.
So, you know, drugs sometimes, you know, like I said, when I came back from out of town, I spent all my money and I'll be broke quick. And that's like 1, 000 in two days. You know, I didn't mess around. And the rest of the week I'll be broke. But, you know, I worked so hard for money and then, you know, to see it go. You know, now I see it, but, you know, that's the past or whatever. But, you know, I was really bad, you know. And then. of course the drugs got real bad, bad, bad, bad.
So, I had cousins out there, you know what I mean? Brothers, I got brothers and two sisters in Texas, okay? But, the alcohol is the one that got really bad on me, alright? And the crack cocaine. So, you know, I lost my apartment here. And then, You know, I put myself on the streets, homeless, okay? I never did it in Chicago because I didn't have to. I did it in Texas, alright? I was smoking a lot of crack, I wasn't working no more. I was, anybody that had alcohol, they were my friend.
You know what I mean? Or drugs. You know, my sister, you know, of course would give me money and stuff like that. My younger sister, you know, my mom always asked for me, but You know what? I didn't want nobody to see me because of the way I was living. You know, I made myself homeless because You know, the way I was living, you know, I didn't want people, I was ashamed, I was ashamed of how I was living, you know what I mean? Even
in that state, like, part of you, like, man, like, knew that it was bad, huh? Yeah,
you know, I got really bad, you know, my mind was always constantly thinking, but, you know. So to erase my mind from thinking, you know, me of how I was living, of course, I would code it with alcohol and drugs, you know, like you,
you felt bad about it, but your only escape is to drink it away, even though you know, that's, that's what you're feeling bad
about. Yeah. And then, you know, I used to break in homeless, uh, um, abandoned houses, you know, I sleep under the freaking bridges and stuff. That's how bad I got. And like I said, I never did it in Chicago. I wouldn't have, I didn't have to, if I wanted to, but for some reason I did. Uh, and Texas, you know, to the, to the point that, you know, I was tired of it. And then I, I had a girlfriend that was my, my, my younger sister's best friend.
You know, we were like back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And then her mom, you know, didn't like me, but of course, cause of my, her daughter, you know, she always helped me out. Okay. So she got me a hotel room for a week, you know, so I can get off the streets, take a shower, eat good, you know, but then during that time, you know, I was like really tired. I was like, man, so I put myself in a. A rehab. Okay, the state funded me. Okay, so I went to a rehab. I was in there.
They they funded me for three months 90 days Okay, and it was in the suburbs of Texas. Okay, and then I end up staying there for nine months. Okay, it's cuz You know, I was supposed to leave that's in the 90 days, but I stayed there for nine months because I used to do a lot of stuff that I used to cook, you know, and then, you know, hang out and they really liked me, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, they charge, they charge a lot of money there. Okay. But, you know, they let it go.
Cause you know, the stuff I used to do and I just, you know, I never bothered nobody. I used to sleep in the closets in there, you know, I mean, I used to get up early in the morning, cook for everybody. So I was paying my way, you know what I'm saying? Now,
is that something that you like doing? Cause I know you said working at uh, What was it, White Castle you said? Yeah. Yeah, so is that, like cooking, is
that something you like to do? Well, my grandma, like I said, my grandma was from Mexico. She cooked everything from scratch, okay? You know, all the, all the, you know, She's been in the United States for a while, but, you know, she was a really good cook. You know, and I learned a lot from her. You know, but... You know, for my kids, I used to cook a lot, you know, so I worked in a couple of restaurants, you know, I mean, I liked it, you know,
I don't like, that's one thing that I like to do to, you know, my mom, you know, like cooking and I don't know, to me, I get like, it makes me feel good, like to put a smile on people's face with the food, you know, I don't know if that's something you experienced or like just by, you know, Like serving them because that's what you're doing. You're serving them and man, you're making them happy in a sense, right? By feeding their belly, you know, like,
well, of course, you know, I do it. Cause I, you know, I, I used to enjoy before one day, there was a time that I wanted to become a chef, but then I found out it's a lot of work. You gotta put a lot of hours in it. You know, but you know, my heart, you know, my heart wasn't really, my heart was searching for something else. I, you know, I learned how to cook, you know, I know how to follow recipes. I enjoy when I did it, you know what I'm saying? Of course I want to do it, do it right.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So you're there
helping you cooking and you said nine months. So, so what? What happens
after this is funny. So they said, you know, your, your time is up. You know, it's been up and I said, they're like, Jose, you know, we let you hear six months ago, quite a long time. We got actually to leave. So I had to go to, uh, uh, what is that second house or what are they halfway? Yeah. Okay. House.
Okay. So I started working for this electrician that was in the rehab too, you know, you know, he helped me out, you know, gave me good money, invited me to his house, you know, because he was a hunter, he used to cook deer and stuff like that. But then, you know, I didn't like it, you know, there's a bunch of people and you don't have your own room.
It didn't have really much rules, you just had to work and pay your way, you know, you know, and then, you know, my, uh, my sponsor bought me a bike, right? But then, you know, the devil got a hold of me, and you know, and then I had money and I started looking for crack around that area. Okay, and then basically the guys robbed my bike and then they sold me freaking soap or something, and I didn't even get crack. Okay, so basically I got robbed. So from there, I got tired.
I called my ex girlfriend to pick me up. She already had another apartment. Then I left and that same day that I left, I started getting high again. You know, so I was sober for nine months, but it was 'cause I was around sober people. Right.
So as soon as you left, it made it easy, like, yeah. Okay. So, so you got back on drugs and what, what, how did life look? How long, how long did you stay
on drugs? After I started working again, so this is probably, I lived in, uh, Houston for 11 years. Okay. Okay. So this is probably about, uh, getting close to 11 years already. Okay. But okay, what did you say? It's the 11th year. Okay, so yeah, I'm, I'm working. Okay, but I'm starting to drink and I'm slowly progressing more drugs and more drugs. So I'm busting my butt again and I got no money in my pocket because I'm spending all on drugs. All right, so the bills start wrecking in.
Of course, my girlfriend, every time we got kicked out, she run to mama. Okay, and I always have to find out where I'm going. You know, I mean, so of course I wasn't working no more I was drinking so much that I couldn't work no more. Okay, my body started getting really shot Okay, I couldn't really walk. All right, so I was going to Walmart. to go steal alcohol. Okay, and then eat I'd be lucky if I'll be able to eat a cup of noodle.
It wasn't even a cup, I'd eat like half of it, but I had to force myself to eat it. Okay, so I started drinking alcohol. So basically I get to the point where I was drinking alcohol and I was throwing it up at the same time. You know, but I was like, nah man, this ain't happening. You know, I just kept on trying. I just kept on throwing it up. So my mind was just like going crazy. I'm staring at four walls, three walls.
And to the point that I couldn't take it no more and I just started staring at the walls. And I... Actually, Jesus came to my mind and I started telling him that I didn't want to live like this no more. I didn't want to live like this no more. All right. So I called my mother and I told her and I was crying when I told her. She's like, all right, we're going to pick you up. We're going to drop you off by your sister's house.
You know, we're going to let you, she said she can stay with her, but you got to go to work. I was like, right now I can't work. You know, I'm shot. So I left everything there. I just brought my clothes. I moved in with my sister. I started, I started trying out little by little. Then, um, like I told you, my wife, she used to be my ex girlfriend in grammar school. All right. She was your, your, your wife now, right? Yes, my wife now.
Um, you know, she, I don't, I can't tell you how long, you know, she's been back and forth with the Lord too. But she, when she found me, she was living in Roswell where I live now. Okay. Cause I got an uncle that's named the same thing as me. Jose Mendoza. My name is Jose Martin Mendoza. So, she said a couple years before that she tried looking for him, but she ended up finding my uncle. But then again, you know, when I, you know, was trying out, she, she looked again on Facebook.
And then she found me this time. And then, um. She found me, you can say God sent me an angel. Okay, because I was broken. All right, I had no life. All right, I didn't know what I was living for. Okay, but she started, we started talking. Okay. And when we started talking, um, she started talking about Jesus. I said, I know God, but I didn't know Jesus. So she introduced me into the Lord. Okay. And then I went to a church, I got saved. And then of course we were, okay.
Talking a lot and she came to visit me. Okay. She came and visit me like, you know, a week before Thanksgiving. Okay, and then of course during that time that me and her were talking I was already working Okay, so, you know, she was still married to somebody but the man had left her So I helped her out.
Of course, I you know pay for her divorce and she came to visit and she came to visit me It was like, oh, you know how you have a broken heart Okay, there's two parts to it, but then when I met her, it's like the broken heart came to one, okay? We kicked it off real good. You know, I was already I was still going to I was going to church in Texas It was called legacy, you know, and then she was going to church.
She was talking about her church She's like I can't wait to come but um during that time, you know, I was supposed to come and it was no I was about around like I said Thanksgiving, right? But you know, I mean, her, we used to talk all the time. Like if we just were little kids and we just dated, you know, we had to go to work at night, but we couldn't sleep. Let me ask you this. How old were you
guys when you
first, I know you said dated back in Chicago, right? First grammar school. This was seventh grade, right? Oh, no way. That's young. Yeah. Okay. So there's a long connection here. Yeah. We grew up in the same neighborhood. Okay. First husband. Her first husband, you know, went with us too, but, you know, that's another story. Right, right. No, no, yeah, so 7th
grade,
that's young, man. Her first, let me tell you this, because, you know, it's something people need to hear, okay? Her, her husband hung himself over drugs and alcohol. He beat him, you know what I'm saying? But, I can tell you this, he knew the Lord, so we know where he's at. You know what I mean? Her second husband got into a, a DWI, okay? And he asked my wife if... She was gonna help him. She told him, no, you're on your way. So he left her cold turkey. He left her hanging, okay?
He ends up passing away of cancer, okay? So, you know, she was kinda iffy about, you know, getting with, you know, getting married again, but...
You know, I guess she's seen something in me, what she told me, all right, because when I first got introduced into the Lord, I was on fire, I was on fire, I was going under the freeways in Texas, you know, I was preaching there, but I seen, you know what I mean, uh, buying food, everything, you know, but then, you know, like I said, me and her were talking so much on the phone, you know, we couldn't sleep, we couldn't go to work, you know, God sent me an angel. So you're in Texas and
she's out there in New Mexico, gotcha.
Yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, you know, I was driving a forklift, okay, standing on a forklift. And we're doing a good job, making pretty good money. You know, I ride a bike, working back, working back. You know, uh, you know, I'm busting my butt and sleeping a little hours cause me and her talking a lot. But, um, you know, no phones on the floor, man. You know, that was one of the main rules.
And of course I got fired for texting her, you know, so when she was supposed to pick me up the day got earlier, you know, I told her I got fired. She's like, why is this? Cause I was texting you. So she came and picked me up and then, um, you know, she came to pick me up in like on a January, you know, what was it? 10 hour drive, drive took her 18 hours. Cause she drove through snow and ice. Oh, wow. No, but she made it. Of course. The ain't God's angels took care of her. And then I drove back.
It took me 16. Wow. Okay? Now, now, you, you would
think New Mexico and Texas, I don't know, I wouldn't picture like a snowstorm out there. But it gets bad too, like
on the roads out there? Yeah, well that's on the way, because all the other states you gotta go through. You go through, uh, St. Louis, and then you go to, uh, Oklahoma. Okay. Okay. So those are really big states. No. Yeah. So when I first went to Roswell the first year, they had the Goliath. Okay. Goliath was a two feet snowstorm. And they haven't had one of those in New Mexico since seven years before I've been there. Okay, so I was back in Chicago. But, um, okay, I was in I got to Texas.
All right. We had to wait for her.
For her divorce to go through, it took about a week, all right, so, we, she got her divorce, we got married, because everybody in the house was, you know, following the Lord, all right, so we got married right away, of course, and then, you know, of course, you know, I had to make my way up in New Mexico, you know, I was going to church, I started going to church, but, you know, I haven't worked there for a while, but little by little, you know, I started getting odd jobs and stuff like that,
you know. And then, um, I continued going on to church, you know, that's one thing I never stopped, was going to church, okay? But, um, you know, how the Bible says, lukewarm, okay? You got, you get lukewarm, okay? Um, my son passed away two years ago. He passed away, he was living in Seattle, Washington. He passed away, he had an overdose, okay? And then, of course, they called my wife and, you know, she practically raised the kids by herself, okay?
Okay, during her marriages and stuff like that. She was the mom and she was the dad. And then we got a phone call at 10. 30 at night. And then she took it really bad, you know. From there on, put it this way. She, of course, she had to stop working, alright. And then, of course, our church is an awesome church, okay. Our pastors came over. What was the name of the church? The name of our church is called Church on the Move. It's in Roswell, New Mexico.
It's, um, biggest church there, but we're non denominational. Yeah. Okay, but it's, you know, our, uh, senior pastor's name is Pastor Troy. He has a heart for the Lord. Okay. You know, I haven't been to other churches, you know, since I've been there, I have no reason to. Gotcha. Yeah. Because he speaks the truth and truth, you know, in love, of course, but he speaks the word of God. Amen. You know what I mean? Um, I started, like I said, um. So
you said, uh, that he came like to help during that
time. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, where she stopped working, you know, my son was in Seattle, Washington, and we weren't really big on, uh, bills, you know, our bills, you know, racking up. We weren't, you know, we're barely just trying to catch up on bills at that time. But, you know, our church helped us out, you know, our pastor helped us out in bringing my son back here. They give us money, you know, so that helped us out.
But my wife She took it really bad Okay, so I had a lot of my table and then of course my other kids too They were helping out too, but so they couldn't grieve, you know, I mean, so we're all going through a lot Okay, I was working. I was I had to I own my own business. Okay, I remodel houses, um, I was I was running two crews and then you know trying to You know, handle what's going on at home and let me ask you this, these
businesses, these came after you got saved, like when you're seeking the Lord or were you doing this before you got saved the remodeling
the homes? Okay. No, I started off. Okay. Like I said, our jobs. Okay. And then as I got, you know, more and more longer in New Mexico, I started getting higher, higher up the ladder. Of course, I guess the Lord was. Working me up there, you know what I mean? But, um, like I said, I was lukewarm at that time. So, there'll be times that I'll be sitting still. You know, but then, you know, another opportunity will come. You know, I was working construction. I was making good money. Okay?
But, um, you know. I was getting tired of it because I was working in Texas and I was living in New Mexico. I was basically driving an hour and a half there and back.
I worked there for three years, you know, I was there we're going it was farther and farther and I like to come home and sleep on my bed Because I was done with that staying out of town already because I did it for four and a half years Next to my wife, you know, but um, you know my pastor, you know, I speak a lot to my pastors, you know I get godly and stuff like that. And then basically one of my pastors, you know, I asked him, I says, man, I'm getting tired of this.
He says, you already know what to do. You already said you want to start your own business, man. It's time to start, you know, go for it. And I did, I took the leap. And then of course I started, you know, you know, a little bit, a little bit, but then God saw a blessing on a lot of work. I was in running two crews. Man, look at that all
from one man, encouraging you, man. Thank God for that. For real. Sometimes it's just somebody, a lot of times somebody that believes in us more than we believe
in ourselves. Right. Yeah. But, um, yeah, you know, and we're going through all this and then, uh, You know, I got so bad that, um, I lost a big contract. I, I really wanted to give it away, stop working for this guy cause, um, he was subcontracting me, but he was taking advantage of me, you know. A lot of work, cause he was flipping houses and he wanted to work pretty cheap. When my son passed away, it like gave me the option of moving away from him.
Okay, so, I wasn't really working that much and then my wife wasn't working at all. So we're like really struggling, okay. But, um, during that time, you know, the church is, you know, the, our church is wonderful, man. You know, all our pastors blessed us, you know, and our church family, you know, they loved on us, loved on us, loved on us, you know.
So they helped us get through it, you know, I mean, of course my wife was, okay, she bad, but, you know, they helped us, you know, they prayed for us, they came for us, they loved on us, so everything started, you know, going, you know, we had the, of course, it brought back, you know, Memories again, you know, grieving, of course, we have family come from Chicago, you know, and of course, it brought back a lot of grieving, but you know, my, my son's funeral wasn't a funeral.
Okay, because you're a Christian, you don't cry if you're happy. Okay, because, you know, your son was saved or. Whoever of your family, okay, and especially if they knew the Lord, you know where they're going. They're going in a better place
They're not leaving home. They're going
home, right? Yeah You know and they're happy, you know, they're in a better place But, you know, a lot of, like I said, you know, his family members, you know, when her, his, her husband's side, you know, they came over here and they visit, you know, they came to the funeral. So that was really good because of course we had an altar call in the service. Okay. And then a lot of those, his family members, okay, from his dad's side. They raised their hands during the altar call.
Nice. So that was a blessing, you know. Yeah. You see? A lot of good things come out of a lot of stuff. You know, in different situations. God got it all written out. He's got his plan, you know what I mean? So, okay, that's all over with, the funeral and everything, okay? Then after that, well, the next day after my son passed away, My, my sisters, my wife's sisters were coming from, uh, California. They were coming to be with my wife. One of her sisters got twins, okay?
They left one, they came with the other, okay? So, she drove 16 hours to come out here with us. And then basically, you know, we got a call at 3rd and 9th. That her, her son, 20 year old son had an overdose on drugs too, so basically she had to turn around and go back. Man. So this was after the second day after my, my, my son passed away, okay? Then a week later, um, my sister in Texas, she was like my, my second youngest sister, okay? She was really sick, okay?
She was like 40 something years old. She was really sick on a lot of stuff and then COVID came. And then. They put on the ventilator and she ended up dying too. That was a week later after my son and my nephew died. Okay, so we have back to back to back. Tragedies, right? Yeah, but like I told you, man, our church, you know, they're there. They're there. That's why it's really important to have yourself a home based church. Okay?
Because you got backup, you got love, you got anything you need because they're there for you. You know what I mean? So that happened. Okay, all the funerals. So like I told you I was lukewarm Seen that crack in the door. Okay, and he slipped in and I fell I started drinking alcohol. I started hiding it Okay, the only reason why she knew because she takes care of all the bills. Okay, we got both our bank accounts together I don't mind that at all. She's really smart.
She takes care of supposed to be like a one is
in marriage You know
unity, you know, we never hide nothing for nobody But, you know, as I was sneaking around drinking, of course, I was trying to hide it, okay? But, God made it
visible. What's done in the dark will come to light, and sometimes that's for good, right? Yeah. Maybe at the moment it's
not, but... Okay, so she started asking me, are you drinking? Of course, I'm denying it, right? And so she caught me with the paperwork, you know what I mean? She took away all my, um, credit cards, my money. I needed that, right? But, you know, when you want something, you're gonna get it, right? So, I fooled her, you know, I was, I found ways to get money. Yeah. So I was still doing it. So she thought I stopped but I didn't. And then she found out again.
Then she called my brother, my brother in Christ. I met this man since I started going to church. His name is Richard Acuna. He does the prison ministry. Okay, and then um, He came. My wife called her and he came because he's my brother. Okay, that's another thing. When you go to church, you find you a pack, a pack of men that you can call, that you can tell your secrets to, okay?
A man talk, cause there's some things, there's some things you don't want to tell your wife, but you can tell your friend, your brother, your brother, cause the pastor's not always going to be there for you, but you got your brother, okay? He came, he lift me up, he pick me up, okay? So, I fell, but you know what?
The most important, the most important part about that when you fall, get back up, because the Lord is going to forgive you, but get back up, he's going to forgive you, fall again, get back up, get back up, no matter how many times you fall, get back up, because he loves you. So, um. I started getting into the ministry, okay, the prison ministry. You know, I used to, I used to do ushering at church and help out in events and stuff like that. But I didn't find my true, my true calling.
So my buddy, Richard, you know, I see him in church. He sits behind us. We sit on the same side all the time. And he's like, Oh, I do prison ministry. He's want to check it out. I was like, yeah, well, they let me in. He's like, why? I said, I got a background, man. I got four felonies, you know, Oh, here, pull out this application. Yeah, I did it. They let me in. I was like, praise God. To keep you in. Yeah. And then, so for the first time he took me in, we went to Soli, solitary confinement.
You know what, some people are afraid, you know, 'cause it's not their calling. Right. But I was like, I was comfortable. I was like, I was at home. Yeah. You know what I mean? You know, I was there and then, you know, we, we did. So I, you know, I read some scripture to him 'cause I wasn't, you know, I wasn't up there yet. So, you know, I continued going, continue going, but then Covid came. It stopped us, you know, I was like, dang, but, um.
You know, after the COVID started going down, um, of course the Lord started opening the doors again, so we're doing Ministry on zoom. Okay, we're doing ministry on zoom. So we started the Doing ministry is we do ministry out of a one of them's called Academy prison Academy. It's all over the United States You know, they supply the books and, uh, stuff like that. We have, we give the guys, um, certificates for, um, quarter, half and years. You know what I mean? Um, it's really a blessing.
We do that. Uh, One jail in our, in our city, it's called, uh, RCC. We do it every Mondays. And then, uh, that's via zoom. No, but that's, that's where we started. Okay. Okay. We started to zoom. Now the
inmates, were they able to join via
zoom? Yeah. Uh, how was that? Like on what? Okay. They got a, they got a chapel. Okay. And then they had a camera with, uh, With one of those microphones that lay on the desk, so they'll just pass it around. So whoever's turned, uh, Oh, no. So they'll be able to even join in and talk. So we had the class like that. Okay. So that's how we started off. Okay. All right.
And now you're
in person now. Oh, yeah. So yeah. COVID. COVID, you know, went away. It was slowly dragging down, but then of course we had to get our COVID, uh, shots, but you know what, that's our ministry. So, you know, we did it because of the cause, not because of the, the government, you know what I mean? So we did it, you know, then we started going in, we were the first church to start going in, you know, so we continued, but then God started opening more doors to the prisons.
Okay. So. Now we started going out of town. We started going all over basically New Mexico, you know, the prison ministry started getting bigger and then My intentions was basically a lot of prison I put like Monday and Tuesdays, of course and like two Saturdays and then when we had events, you know, I mean, so my my prison my ministry is Really big. Okay. It's really busy. Okay. Okay. But God allows it with my job. Okay, because I work for myself. Okay, so he provides.
Okay. He's not going to leave me without. Okay, because he blesses so we can bless others. All right. So our bills are still getting paid. And I'm still sharing God's word. Okay, so like I told you, I'm Luke warm when I first started going, but I don't know, man. Okay. I fell, he kicked me in the butt, and then he lit up the fire. Once he lit up the fire, you know, I started reading my Bible more. Cause when I read my Bible, I couldn't really like understand it when I read it.
Cause like I said, when I went through school, I went through school cause um, My age, I passed, okay. And in high school, I got kicked out in one month because I was gangbanging. They kicked me out. So, you know, I couldn't really understand, but I learned more by listening. So I listened to a lot of evangelists and of course church. But it didn't stick, you know, but then, like I said, God kicked me in the butt. Then I was on fire.
He lit up the flame and then, you know, now when I go to church, uh, go to prisons, you can't stop me. I'm doing, I'm doing services by myself now. You know, my buddy can't come. The other guys can't come. He's like, we'll just cancel. Why cancel? I go alone. All right, go ahead.
How long have you been doing this for
now? How long has it been? I'm going on three years. Wow. Three years. And like I said, the ministry is getting bigger. You know, now our churches, um, They're announcing in their services now. That's how big it gets. You know, we have a ministry at our church. Okay prison ministry, but now they're Announcing it, you know, I mean through all the church services now You know, our church just got donated a hotel. Okay, the hotel's got 104 rooms.
Okay, just my church was looking for a building and every time they put a bid bid on it They used to raise the price. Okay, but um, they found out about this hotel It has been closed for a while already and then they want to go talk to the guy the guy's like what he can do With it and they told him it's gonna be a home or Men and women that get out of jail. Okay, so they have someone to bring their family It's gonna be a home for battered women.
It's gonna be a home for Veterans that have no where to stay. Um, the name of it is Dream Center It's gonna be called Church on the Move Dream Center. There's one in California like that. I'm not sure Who they house, but that's what ours is gonna house. Okay, so the They were blessed with it. The man was a doctor, you know, a lot of the rooms are remodeled. There's 104 rooms in there. So the majority of them are remodeled. So we just got the money they're going to use to buy a building.
So now they get to use to fix the building. You see, God blesses so he can bless others. So, you know, our ministry is getting bigger and you know, I love it. It's in my heart. I have the heart for the guys in jail because I used to be the same guy. I, it's. You know, I get to tell them how they're broken. I says, I was broken, but now I'm alive. You know, God did this to me and he can do it to you. You know, you just, you know, you gotta, you gotta be ready. You gotta, you gotta want it.
You know what I mean? And
that's one thing when, uh, when Julie, reached out and then I heard your testimony prison ministry, I was telling my wife, man, it's amazing how God, like he knows what he's doing. Like, he's just been putting me with people that are in prison ministry. I know I shared with you earlier how it just started like a month and a half, uh, Cook County, uh, going into Cook County prison and man ministering to the inmates. And like, I think what's helped me is this podcast.
Yeah. Because I, I sit across men and I hear their stories, right, like from beginning. And you, you get to hear what leads 'em into the, into the streets, what leads 'em into a life of crime and what leads 'em behind bars. So when I go in there, I don't look at like a, like a, a bunch of inmates, a bunch of criminals. I look at 'em individually, like man, and part of me, he is like, man, what's his story? Like, what, what led, what led him in here?
You know, I had a guy the other day, Shared that he was in 13 foster homes. Mm. He said he was like in 74 different places living throughout his, throughout his life. So you, you would look like, somebody would look at him like, oh man, a lot of people look at, people that are locked all day. They deserve to be there. All their animals, they're criminals. But man, they have a story. And like I, like I, I tell them, man, like I go there cause I know their story's not over, man.
Yeah. No matter what happens, whether they get found guilty, innocent, whether they stay in there a little bit or they come out in the streets. And man, I just want to share the hope of Jesus and to let them know they, they need to put them first, man. Cause maybe they, they don't have no hope or they don't have a vision for their life. But God could give them that vision, you know, and it sounds like you found that in the ministry, you
know, you know what I'm saying like, okay, see about those men that you're talking about, okay, these murderers, these rapists, these serial killers. Okay, you got to remember, that's one of the, that's the main reason why Jesus died on that cross. Okay, or the broken hearted. All right, the people that are living for Satan because they never knew they never had a chance just like me No, I'm saying I went to Catholic Church. I didn't learn nothing.
I know of God, but I know of God See, I'm not we're not in a religion We're in a relationship and a relationship is when you know, somebody you know You know, the person from what he does, who he is, and how he is, you know what I mean? You know everything about that person, like the relationship I have with my wife. I know what she likes. I know her color, her favorite color. You know, I know what... Food. She what's her favorite food.
That's a relationship when you know everything about that person see see but our relationship with Jesus We're never gonna know everything about him. But the only way we're gonna know more about him is to keep on reading his word Okay, and then You know, through the people that don't know Jesus, you, you might not even have to talk to them about Jesus.
It's just the, by the way you live, you know, people see that light, you know, they see that light, you know, and there's like, what's this guy's deal, man, you know, and then That gives them opportunity to come and ask you when that opportunity comes, you know, you don't be afraid you speak You say this is the Lord.
This is the Lord the light of the Lord, you know I live in the light because of him and he took me out of the darkness and you know now I am Blessed because of this man right here this man called Jesus, you know the first day I came to Chicago. Okay, I This was a few days ago, all right. We stopped at this restaurant called Rico Benny's. It's a steakhouse. Okay. Yeah, man, it was about seven o'clock at night. Okay. Me and my wife were hungry. We didn't even eat dinner because of this place.
Okay. We know we're getting Chicago. Okay. So you, you held off. All right. So when we parked in the parking lot, we had to cross the street and there's this homeless guy there, but he didn't say nothing to us. Right. So we ate our food. We ate our food. You know, we enjoyed it. Of course. I came out first. My wife was doing something inside, right? The homeless guy starts talking to me from across the street. He's like, you got a cigarette? You got a cigarette?
I says, I got something better than that. So he comes across the street. He's like, what you got, man? I says. I got some scripture right here, man. I got the word of God. I says, I got scripture on wisdom. I got scripture. He's like, oh, man, I've been saved already, man. A couple years ago. I was like, so how's your walk with the Lord, man? He's like, well, I don't drink, but I still do drugs. I said, so, you know, you're not, you're not right with him then, because you're doing drugs.
He's like, yeah, I said, well, I'll make yourself right with Jesus. He's like, yeah, I said, repeat after me. I see, you see, I pray every morning. God put something in my path that your will be done. Okay. And he does, you know, I love it. Yes. I love it. You know, because. I go soul, I go soul searching every day. Man. That's my life. Soul searching, huh? Soul searching. Okay? That's, that's, that's good. I like the sound of that.
Everywhere I go, I ain't got a Bible in my hand, but I got, I got scripture on me. Right. Okay? You
want to share some of the stuff you got, like, I
know you gave me a few. Yeah, I got cards that my, uh, my church gives out. Okay. Their prayer cards are for different, um, this is what you were telling the homeless guy that you had. Yeah. Therefore, um, they got some on, uh, wisdom. They got some, um, health on family, on children on, uh, they wouldn't got in front of military. So there's like scripture for every, and they're in Spanish and English. Okay. They're bilingual. All right. But you know what? The armor of God. Okay.
That's your protection against the devil. Okay. Um, when I come to Chicago, last time I came to Chicago two years ago, the devil got ahold of me. Okay. uh, uh, the traffic? Is that what what in what sense? Like the, the traffic. Okay. You know, uh, this guy cut me off, man, and I actually beep my horn. I said, beep, beep. I didn't cuss or nothing. Right. You know what I mean? God got me away from that, but he got to me, man.
And then I went to go visit my wife, and then she's like, oh, my aunt okay. And she's like, what happened? And I told her, she goes, you gotta be careful. Those guys is at road rage. Uh, man, I haven't lived here in nine years, you know, or it was probably eight at that time. Okay. And then, you know, I totally forgot about it. You know, cause Roswell, New Mexico got drugs, they got gangs. It ain't, you know, as bad as Chicago. You know what I mean? They're out there if you look for them.
Okay. You know, I don't see that no more because I know God's, God's got his rain, his angels surrounding us, you know? So my aunt said that it didn't like faze me. Cause you know, the Lord, you know, it's still right now, you know, is the traffic, you know, I trip up about these people. I'm like, man, these people, their constant life is in a hurry. I was like, these people need some downtime, man, you know, they're just living a rush life.
I says, man, that ain't, that, that is not a life, man. You know, it says, it's like you ain't got no time to do nothing, but you see, I'm a, I'm a busy man too. But you know what? I always make time for God always. You know, if there's something that I got to do for the church, they asked me for to do, you know, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it because I have a servant's heart. I have a giving's heart, you know, because I used to take from the people. Okay. I used to rob.
Okay. I used to treat women wrong. Okay. But, you know, it took me a while to get to that because like I said, nobody's perfect except Jesus. I used to use that excuse a lot. My wife used to tell me that. So I needed to stop using that excuse and just change my attitude. You know, I needed a lot of humbling. The Lord humbled. He's still humbling me right now. But you know, I'm, I can say I'm a better person than I was before. You know,
we all go as we're following Jesus. Uh, what is it? A sanctification process we're going to be going through until we're in glory. You know, but he, even now, like I've been saved 18 years and trust me, he's still
working on my heart, you know, like it's, it's a constant, it's, it's, it's he's forever going to work on it. It's like that. Uh, our pastor says it a lot, you know, it's just, you can read your Bible. 500 times, but you're always going to write, learn something new when you start reading it again, you know, I got, you know, I'm blessed now because I had a little fire in my garage. Okay. You know, it messed up my garage, but I got the opportunity to fix it before we got the insurance money.
Okay. But, you know, I got to make myself an office now, but I don't really consider it an office because now I got a desk. I got a big old TV and a surround sound, but it's not for movies because I don't even watch TV. Okay. I wake up really early in the morning, and of course... The first thing is God. Okay, I get up. I start doing Bible apps. I got three devotionals. I'm always doing daily a day Okay, like I said, I was praying and fasting for a lot of stuff and you know, God's moving.
Okay, so God's Continually I feed myself.
Okay, and he fills me But he's always revealing more stuff to me, you know, but I want that I want that because he's going to continue to put people in my path with different situations and I want to be ready for it, you know, because, you know, like I said here, you know, I read the the Ephesians, okay, the armor of God, because, you know, we're coming to Chicago, there's a lot, a lot, a lot of temptation, okay, you know, and there's a lot of, you know, Chicago is just, you know, we're praying
for this, I constantly pray for this, because my family lives here and this is where I'm from. You know, but we pray for a lot, not just Chicago, a lot of cities, you know, you know, my prayer list is getting bigger and bigger every day. But you know what? God always gives me time. He always reminds me I got to do it. You know what I mean? When the more you learn about the Lord, the more he's gonna give you the room for it. He's going to make a way for it.
Okay, he's gonna provide for you what you need. Okay, because you don't get you don't worry like, you know, I don't worry about bills All right, if I'm working part time, I don't worry about bill because you know what, you know, the Bible says a lazy man won't eat I'm not lazy. Okay I'm not lazy. I'm a very active man, you know, from morning to night, you know, I changed my living life, you know, I eat good. Of course, my wife is a wonderful cook.
Okay. But I found out she was feeding me healthy when I first got into the house, you know, but, you know, I had a hard time sleeping. I went to the doctor. He told me how to lay out on the red bulls. So I did, cause I can't sleep, you know, but
I've never had one, man, like monsters or red bulls.
They don't do it, bro. Take the coffee. But, uh, anyways, you know, I stopped and he said, you need to go to the gym. I was like, I'm already in the gym. You know, I'm always active. He goes, that doesn't count. Me and my wife go to the gym every day now, you know what I mean? So God's making me more healthy, you know? So of course our body, the Bible says our body's a temple, you know what I mean? You know, but Like I said, we're not perfect. We're gonna have us a burger.
We're gonna, you know what? We don't do it all the time. Me and my wife, you know, like I said, we work out, but we eat good now, okay? We eat, uh, healthy, because she cooks really good, you know, and she cooks healthy. She may make spaghetti, or she may make mole for me, but she makes it healthy. You know what I'm saying? So, you know, we are eating better. I am losing weight, even though I ain't got that much weight. I mean, it's...
You know, I lost 15 pounds, my wife, 11 pounds, you know, we're doing good and we're eating better. You know, our bodies are feeling better. You know, our children are younger than us and they're more tired. It's usually that way. Yeah. You know, they're more just really going on. You know, we're 50 years old and we're trying to wake them up. Come on, man. No, but you know what? Our, our, our ministry is constantly with our children, no matter how old they are.
Yeah. We're always speaking life into them, you know, cause We're the parents. You know, like I said, when our son passed away, you know, like I said, our children love them really much. They're our children. They really love them very much. Okay. Um, my son, uh, passed away. He left her, uh, insurance. Policy. We didn't know that until, uh, you know, a couple, like a week later after he passed away. So he blessed her with close to $200,000. Wow. And we were hurting really bad.
We were struggling for money. You see what I mean? Yeah. You know, it's in God's timing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like I said, um, I don't know if I mentioned it about my daughter. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Oh, you see, I, I don't like, uh, re restoring. Yeah. Yeah. I, I don't think you did. No.
Okay. You, you wanna share that? So this. Well, like I said, when I moved into Texas, I was still in contact with my kids, my, my daughter and my son. Okay. My adopted child, I never knew of, but I signed the papers for her. But, um, you know, I was in contact with my kids. I'll go to Chicago, come to Chicago and visit and stuff, you know? And then, uh, actually my mom used to make me come to, cause there's times I didn't want to, cause I just wanted to party.
She goes, no, you need to go see your kids. And there was a time that my son used to live with me for a while in Houston, you know, because, you know, the mother, she was living, she was still part of, she's still part of it to this day. Um, you know, she, my kids grew up with their grandma. Their grandma raised her just like me, you know, and then, um. I know you
had mentioned that they don't want like, uh, to, to even talk to you, right? No. Recently, and you mentioned about. You're praying and fasting, so you want to share what,
what happened like recently. My, my son ended up leaving again because, uh, you know, I got hard on the drugs again. I couldn't take care of him no more, but, um, you know, I came when I came two years ago, you know, my son seen me, but you know, he does drugs.
He's got a, he basically like me when I was young, you know, he's really hard headed, you know, Now he's not even working, but, um, my daughter, you know, for six years, you know, I, I, I used to tell her, you know, I'll call her, call her, but I always forget, you know, see the bad part about it. I was already following the Lord, you know, so I just said something, but I didn't follow up with it. So, like I said, their grandparents raised them.
Okay. Her grandmother and her grandma passed away and she really took it hard. Like, you know, like her mother. Okay. It was my mother and I wasn't there for her. So, you know, I tried calling and trying to get in touch. No, she doesn't want to talk to you. So about two years ago, I started praying. Okay, praying, praying for two years. Okay, they teach you in church when you pray for something God's not gonna move in your time. He's gonna move in his timing.
Okay, the Bible says to all right So I've been praying for two years over it, but I don't know something put in my heart that I need to start fasting Okay, so it wasn't just about my daughter. It was about a lot of stuff You know, I had a lot of stuff that I had to pray and fast for.
So You know, I started fasting for two weeks, and then, like, we already had made this plan to come to Chicago because, you know, it's been a while since I've been here, and then the purpose, uh, the purpose really was to come, you know, to try to fix a relationship with my kids, okay, so I didn't get in touch with none of them, but I was talking, I get in touch with my, my, know about my kids through their aunt, okay, because, um, she lived close to them, so I started writing my daughter, okay,
for about, I can say about, okay, three months I started writing her and I get no letters back. Okay. I send her money and stuff, you know, my grandson, I got a grandson that's eight years old there in Chicago, what we do. And then she just had my granddaughter was, uh, she's going to be two years old and I never met them. And then, you know, I made this trip so I can go back out there. And then the aunt told me that she's reading my letters. I was like, cool.
And then she told me that she was going to write me a letter. And I still was constantly, you know, writing, I'll write her once a week. You know, I'm like, I'm still waiting for your letters, still waiting for your letters, nothing. And then it happens the day before we were coming to, uh, to Chicago. She wrote me a big message on, uh, Messenger. She's like, I'm sorry for not writing you, you know what I mean?
She's like, I've been really busy, you know, I got, you know, You know, I got a lot on my table, you know. I got two kids, this and that, this and that. She's like, she basically told me what was going on and why she was mad at me.
You know, but she said when I come over, When I come to Chicago, she wanted to talk to me alone because she had a lot to get off her, her mind, you know, so I did, you know, and, uh, we talked, you know, of course she's like, you know, she was telling me, you know, grandma passed away and she was really close. I wasn't there for her. Her mother wasn't there for her.
Okay, so, you know, I'm grandma passed away She didn't have nobody, you know, and then she said basically telling me she had to go through a lot of stuff by herself you know, I wasn't there for her and So basically what she had to do she had to let it all out. Okay, she wasn't mad at me She told me I told her I'm sorry. She says you don't have to apologize. I just needed you to tell you all this Okay, and then of course I clear the air and get
a like a fresh
start I guess right? Yeah, so during all those letters I talked to her about God. I told my life story Okay, I live for God. I live for God. God this, God that, you know, cause he gets all the glory for who I am now.
Sounds like he's restoring things in your life now, like from, from all the... The hurt and the distance there, you know, I was going to ask you like, okay, so, so now you're doing all this ministry, um, man, it sounds like you got a joy. You find your calling. is there something like a word or something that you want to share with people that are listening?
Like something that God's, I know you say you've been praying, fasting, is there something that maybe he's placed on your heart that you want to share, you know, with
the people that are listening? Okay, for one thing, you know, there's a lot of broken hearted people out there, you know, they think there's no solution, okay, to their problems. You know, a lot of people know, like I said, they know of God, but they don't know God, you know, they don't know of a God, you know, it's. You know, God restores. Okay. Our God is a miracle worker. You see all the stuff I've been through, you know, shot at, beat up, ran over.
I got ran over a car five times, you know, no, no bones broken, but You know, the stuff that I've been through, you know, there's a reason why I'm still here because he had bigger plans for me, you know, and his plans were a warrior for God, you know, I mean, put me where I am right now and he's, you know, prepare me for bigger things like, um, you know, I'm going to start doing prison ministry worldwide pretty soon and in 20 countries, you know, I'm excited.
You see, like I said, you there is nothing God cannot defeat. Okay, and God cannot restore, you know, our God is a God of miracles. I've got, you know, he loves you no matter what, you know, we think, you know, the bad that we do that he's not going to accept. He's not going to forgive. He is. That's why he died on the cross. You know, we can do it to me. I'm not saying I'm the most baddest person in the world. But, you know, it is a story, you know, and a strong story.
And like I said, he's a miracle worker. He can do it to me. He can do it for anybody. I remember that's for sure because
I know what we're talking about before we started, man. There's a lot of people that are maybe struggling with that and they think, man, that's the way it's always going to be. You know, a lot of times it's like a generational too. You know, my dad was like that. My grandfather was like that. But I know you mentioned when you called out to God, it was just you by yourself, right? Yeah. You weren't in the church.
you know, want to share that with the people, man, a lot of times they think, man, I got to go to church. Man, they could be listening to this in their car or
wherever. Exactly. And you know, God's always going to put somebody in your path. Okay. Cause like I said, I pray every morning, use me and he does. And there's a lot of people I get in contact with that don't know of God. You know what I mean? I lead them to God. You know, if you're broken hearted, he's going to put somebody in your path, open your ears and I'm telling you, you don't have to suffer no more. Amen. Amen,
brother. Hey, um, you, you want to
close this out in a prayer, get ready to wrap up. Well, first of all, we're going to thank our, uh, Lord Jesus Christ for, um, dying on the cross for our sins and, uh, shedding his blood for our healing. We thank you for your grace and mercy you always put upon us. We just pray that your Holy Spirit speak to these people's hearts that are listening, that are listening to this, um, story that, um, there is a way out and God gives us a way out because he's a good God, um, a gracious God.
Um, he's a forgiving God and always forgive us no matter what. We thank you for all that you do, Lord, and continues doing in our lives. Father God, we give you all the great. All the, uh, all the grace, glory, and honor of Father God, in Jesus
name, amen. Amen, amen. Man, I just want to thank my guests for joining us, all the way from, uh, New Mexico. Thank you, brother, for being on here. Uh, Matthew 4, 16 reads, The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, and upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death, light has dawned. Alongside of my brother, my name is Omar Calvillo. We are Wrong to Strong.