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You can follow us on Instagram at Dateology Pod and you can follow me on TikTok at Dateology Coach and my character analysis. Enjoy the episode. She betrayed her own brand and she misled because she is essentially a business. She's a brand. She misled a lot. She misled a lot of people by not telling them how she lost the weight. Well, I would argue that all influencers mislead people. That's their whole draft.
Right, right, right. Because before before she had this Sadie surgery, wasn't she Hawking like supplements and. Yes. Various weight loss, either like weight loss solutions or like, I don't know what you'd call like Spanx like, you know, that doesn't make you lose weight, but it's like a slimming garment, right? I mean, she's so like you said it, you know, the signs were there all along that she was like thrilled to be in that
body. Right. And I was listening to a creator last name called named Francesca Ramsey, who I really, really love and. She felt like I like. Her, I love her and she was talking about branding and she said, you know, when one of the things she learned was when you're developing a brand, you have to come up with these sort of three. What are the three words you would use to describe your brand? Figure out what those are and then don't betray them. Stay authentic to them.
And she said that was that was the mistake she made because one of her one of like her brand was supposedly based on honesty, you know, being being honest and being real. And she essentially might most people say she didn't. It wasn't. Essentially she lied to her, following the people that helped her build this platform. How much of that do you think is her own doing versus people being weird about parasocial relationships on the Internet?
Because as you said, she could do what she wants with her body. She doesn't owe us anything, right? She, she doesn't owe us being this figurehead for fat women, right? And the fact that people are claiming that now she's being disingenuous and dishonest. Like why does she owe us honesty? Why do we feel she owed us a disclosure prior to the surgery? Listen, OK, OK, I'm thinking, I think. It comes down to the branding, right? It's the it's the paradox of the influencer, right?
Because to be a successful influencer you have to convey authenticity while being fake as fuck. Right. That's how you make money. Yes. And I, I can see people saying, I can understand where they come from and they say, well, she was selling a lot of products and she was pushing a sort of certain narrative that she knew was not true. And she was trying to make people think that she was losing this weight from some of these products, these supplements that
she was selling, etcetera. But then I think about Eva Longoria and how she is a spokesperson for L'Oreal hair color. You don't really think Eva Longoria uses box coloring, do you? Kristen, I do not. I do not right. So there are there are things where we we accept this this inconsistency or we accept this duplicity. Right. It's, I think I just coined this term. It's the paradox of the
influencer, right? And that's why it's been so effective at advertising, because we don't perceive it as advertising. But because they're quote UN quote real people. Right, point blank, period. This is advertising. You don't know them. Yeah, yeah, I, I'm torn on this one because I feel as though if you're going to sell a product, you have a responsibility to be transparent. That's that's my feeling.
If you're going to ask people to spend money on you and on things that you're selling based on this narrative, this fabricated narrative, to me, that's that's deceptive. Well, Crystal. I think we've established that you have a a different moral bar than most Internet people. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, we haven't even like address how funny it is that Remy Bader came clean about all this on a Kardashian podcast. Right. I mean, how on the nose can you be? Right.
I just, yeah. Like who is more responsible for women hating themselves than that family right now? Right. I know. And that was the other complaint too, was how she monetized this deception. Yep. But of course she did, because that's what influencers do. Right. So we either are going to embrace influencer culture or we're going or, or, or it needs to or we or we need to change our expectations and look at them the way we would look at an Eva Longoria where we know killing for. L'Oreal.
Right. Shilling L'Oreal. We know she's not using L'Oreal. We know it, but we don't care. We'd still buy it. And I can assure you what they're doing to color her hair. Ain't that stuff in the box, You know, for the commercial. We know that too. We know that too. So it's interesting to me how we can we can make excuses for that, but not for a situation like Remy Bader. I mean the only people I really feel I guess sorry for about this this whole roomy Bader
situation is younger girls. I know, but I dude, I know, I understand. But I think that there were a lot of people who looked at her and who accepted themselves more, right? They saw themselves, they saw representation and so. Why? I think so, too. And like I said in in my mind, you know, if you're if you're 15 or under, like, and you're disappointed and Remy Bader now, like, I get it. It's just, you know, the adult women. Yeah. For for. I know it really comes down to this.
Kristen here. Here's what it all you could distill this whole upheaval down to body positivity is all well and good, but nobody wants to be a trailblazer. Nobody wants to be fat alone, right? It's much. It's much easier to be body positive when you're not the only one. Well. What about Ashley Graham? What about Ashley Graham? I think she's very body positive and I think she loves her body. I haven't really seen or heard anything from her in several years, but I remember that to be
true. Yes, and I haven't seen anything where she's she's lost any weight. She's she's stayed as is. Now that doesn't mean she might not in the future, but I think she is one of those people that you like. I think young girls should follow her because I I I think she truly loves her body. There doesn't seem to be anything inherently dangerous
about her. I mean, I, I feel like it would be irresponsible though for us not to point out here that like she's a plus size model meaning that like compared to the average woman. Yes. She's still pretty small. But but she's also, you know, she's a model and there's that status, right? That, that there's a level of beauty in being a model, you know, if you're a model, that oh. Yeah, the face card never declines for Astrogram.
Right. So I, I, I'm, I understand why people are disappointed in Remy, and I understand why people are upset. I think she was deceptive. I, I, I just I, I, I think she's a bone. I think it's all related to to GOP ones. Don't you like the tide is turning here clear like very clearly, yes, like we, we tried by activity.
It kind of took off, but then as soon as it was an option not to be. Right people are like bye see ya. Most of us were like, well, love that for you, but I don't want to be fat. I agree. I agree. I think we have sort of is, I don't know if we is turned a corner is the right word, but we have turned this corner where. We're. We're going backwards.
We're going backwards for. Sure. Right, because like you said, we've been given this method that is quote UN quote, easy to do or just just a method. Right. Just an option, right? Just an option. As close to foolproof as we have. Right, right. And people are saying, yeah, I'm going to do that then. Right. Yeah, yeah. What we, we really have taken 10 steps back in terms of the the body positivity movement, I think. But again, like obviously we're both on it.
I know. We're both taking these steps. Right. But we're being transparent. About this so I like I'm I'm not mad at Romy Vader. I I just, I mean I get it like. I do get it. It just, it the whole thing really to me, like really just clarify. Like we, we just weren't entirely truthful about what we meant when we were talking about body positivity, right? Because what we really meant was love that for you, not for me. Yeah, I agree with that. I do. And I'm not.
I'm not mad at Remy Bader either because I don't like I don't invest in these influencers because I've I've been a public persona for so long. But I understand the women who are angry and and who are hurt or feel betrayed. I understand, especially when so many people would be in the comments and be like, girl, are you on Ozempic? Block girl, what are you doing to lose weight? Block. She's just blocking people. That's bullshit. That's bullshit.
If you don't want to answer these questions, you think people are just going to sit back and, and and not notice, and then you're not going to. If they ask a question you're not going to answer them honestly then then what do you have a platform for? That was kind of bananas. Like, if she wasn't ready to talk about it, she should have just taken a break from the Internet, you know what I mean? Like she should have just resurfaced as a thin person. Right. Like Kelly Osbourne.
Right. So I don't think she handled it in the best way, but I do hope that we can learn from this. And, and I think the lesson for me is I think transparency will always, transparency is always the way to go. And being authentic. I, I just, I don't think you can fail by being authentic. Am I crazy to me? This whole thing is just depressing because it's like authenticity. That road just leads us back to like, deep down, we all want to be thin.
We all just want to be thin, as thin as possible. We want to. Waste away. Yeah, but not just about that, but the authenticity of I want to love my body and I don't. Well, right, because you only get permission to do that when you look a certain way. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's a very. It's depressing. It's and, but here I am in it. Yes, Yep. I'm not fighting it. I'm not. I'm not being a trailblazer. Right, right. It's a very layered conversation, I think, and.
That's what the pod's for. That's. The pod's for all, right? Follow us on Instagram at datologypod. If you have any questions, dating or otherwise, send them to hello@datologycoach.com. Follow me on Instagram at the Kristen MTHECHRISTANM and make sure to follow me on YouTube and TikTok at didology coach and my character analysis. All right, my bog, which is thanks for listening. Value your time, Sarah. Any final words? Influencers are liars, OK?
All right, there we go. We're signing off Bye. Bye.