The Crisis in Ukraine (and also Ben Shapiro's Terrible Short Story)

ones who gave us this year, So thank you. A lot of people think we are the ones that gave us all this year, or specifically you are, Robert you are well are the term that everybody rips off now because of US NPR someone else probably yep yep NPR who we are in the process of suing. We have retain into the services of Johnny Cochrane, which took a lot of necromancy, I mean some real black magic ship.

We had to sacrifice. Well I don't want to. I don't want to get into the different things we had to sacrifice because the Federal I mean, we can we can credit stuff cut there, but say that, say we had a sacrifice and we can bleep it maybe like half a school bus worth of kids, like not that many really and they were like, you know, it was it wasn't a good school anyway, and it was also like attendance was low because of the pandemic. Yeah, nowhere good. Hi,

I'm Cody Johnston. What's everybody else's fucking name? God damn it? I Robert Johnston. Perfect, I'm Kathleen Roberston. All real names. Hey, So we've been doing this thing where we're making fun of Ben Shapira's terrible books, which have gone on for quite a while because I don't know about you, guys, but I hate doing my job. Also, I have a daily news podcast, and you guys have what you do at least one podcast a week, and then you have

the show. We've got the YouTube show, which is quite a lot of work as well, buried in the news constantly, and so it's just fun to laugh fun. It's terrible. I don't know if you noticed that's listening. They're very bad. Yeah, they're very very Making fun of them makes us happy. Uh. This show has definitely gone off of some rails and onto a completely different set of rails, and what we're

all fine with it. Some people have said that they still want some news, So this episode, we're gonna give you some news, and then we're gonna get back Ben Shapiro, so the real good news. We'll do both, um. But also if you want more news from us, my god, you have so many options, so many places about the news. It's been a minute, but we guessed on each other's shows. It's like there's very little responsible amount of content. Yeah, and and it's for you to consume, um. And it's

I I understand. It's strange you didn't sign up for Ben Shapiro book Club, Baby, but you didn't really sign for anything because it is just a podcast. You don't have to sign. You don't have to sign. That's the beauty of it. So we did. We did, We did sign. We have some contracts. Speaking of contractual obligations, pivot. When the Soviet Union fell in early ninety one or whatever, Uh, there was this new country that hadn't been a country

for a while called Ukraine. In Ukraine, not the Ukraine. No, not the Ukraine, Ukraine, it's a proper name. Um. Ukraine. In addition to being newly country, UM had a funkload of nukes, like a bunch of nukes, like more nukes than most countries with nukes have, just because that's where a bunch of them had been you know, when the Cold War kind of came to a very sudden end, and there were a lot of questions that people in Ukraine had, like, oh, boy, do we want to have

all these nukes? It seems like nuclear stuff doesn't always go great with Ukrainians, like, seems like we've had some problems related things in the past. In the US and NATO were like, hey, guys, you know, we don't think there's it's good for there to be more countries with nukes. Uh,

why don't you give those nukes to us? And Ukraine was like, well, we don't necessarily want nukes, but also everyone around us historically murders us every like twenty years or so, Like every twenty years, everyone around Ukraine murders all of the people there. That's like been going on for the last hundred years or so. Not quite that often,

but it happens a lot. Everyone murders all of the people in Ukraine pretty regularly, and so the people who were in Ukraine when the Soviet Union fell were like, well, maybe we want those nukes because it does kind of seem like when countries have nukes, they don't get murdered as often. At least by people outside of them, right, it seems like maybe there's some protection from the outside

world when you have a funkload of nukes. And NATO was like, hey, guy, like relax, you give us your nukes and we're NATO, like we just want we've got all these fucking ship Yeah, well we'll we'll well, we'll watch your back, like, well, we will guarantee your territorial integrity, like you've got nothing to worry about, just Hannis those nukes, and Ukraine was like, you know what, the responsible thing, the hopeful thing, the decent thing is as a member

of the international community, is for us to have there be one less nuclear power here you go, will trust you. And then the instance somebody threatened Ukraine's borders, NATO was like, oh, you guys wanted us to like do stuff now, So

now that happened, it's and it's a whole mess. Like the gist of of how the current crisis started as that, in like two fourteen, there was this president of Ukraine, Yanukovich, who tried to do the president becoming a dictator thing through using the police to brutally crack down on dissent and and all that kind of stuff, you know, things we all experienced versions of pretty recently. UM. And it didn't go great for him. There was a big protest.

It was a very politically complicated protest. UM. It was like, you know, a lot of messy ship going on. Politically, Ukraine has definitely a Nazi problem UM, which is a serious problem that the government has made some serious failures on. For Basically, after they kicked the president out, Russia invades, takes crimea props up this quote unquote separatist movements UM and takes a chunk of the eastern part of the country.

And ever since, for the last nearly a decade, there's been kind of a low intensity, although some would dispute the low um, but but low intensity at least compared to like the death toll of something like the Syrian Civil War war in eastern Ukraine. UM, and the battle lines have not moved a lot since like or so has not been a tremendous amount of movement. UM. And now we're in this situation where recently the Russian government has started massing I think something like a hundred and

thirty thousand troops on the Ukrainian border. Um. There's kind of debate as to how much Belarus, which is the Belarishan border is like fifty miles something like that from Kiev, the capital of Ukraine. UM, and they're very close with with Russia. UM. What happened in Kazakhstan, which which is in Russia's fear of influence, in which they sent a bunch of troops into along with some of their allies, like disrupted things and it's it's been kind of a

messy period. But most people who know anything about the area, including like most of the conflict journalists I know who have been there way more often than I have and who know more than I have, are fairly certain that

there's going to be some kind of invasion soon. There's a lot of debate as to whether or not they think Russia is going to try to like actually take Kiev like a whole let's eliminate Ukraine is an independent nation, and you know whatever it kind of vg government gets propped up or if it's their plans are kind of more limited. We want to like take some of these

these towns or suburbs around uh De Nettes. We want to take Constant and if Quebec, like there's a lot of of kind of everyone wondering the extinct, which what Russia's designs are. Most people are in agreement that there's probably going to be an invasion soon. I'm actually not as certain as most people. But that said, I want to be really clear. People who know a lot more than me are much more convinced that there's going to

be an invasion. I would have to be really soon, right, because from what I'm understanding, you have to move at a certain point otherwise they will get stuck in mud. Well, you know the elements of invasion, like a time always a factor with war, and there's a There's a few things going on kind of logistically. One of them is that it's expensive to keep a shipload of troops mobilized on the border of another country, right, and Russia is not made of money. Their economy is not doing great,

um it is. They very expensive. There's a lot of also, like so basically what's going on in the situation is going on right now, Russia's got all these troops massed on the border, and they're kind of like making a set of um they they wouldn't really frame them as demands, I don't think too to NATO. But it's it's like a set of demands basically to that NATO UM pull troops out of a bunch of area places like even

Poland like that are kind of near Russia. UM. And you know, there's some other things which is not going to happen. The US isn't gonna pull troops out of a number of the countries um, Georgia, UM and um. UM. Gosh, I'm spacing on one of the others. UM. But there's places they want the US and NATO to pull troops out of that is not going to happen. There's aid they want the West to stop delivering to Ukraine. I

don't think that's going to happen. There are some areas where there's more room for actual negotiations, including like the US has stated that they're willing to talk about removing offensive, particularly missile based weapons from a lot of areas near the Russian border. UM. Anyway, So there's there's a mix of things that like there's really no chance of movement on and things that like, yeah, they might they might

actually be able to come to an accord. UM. I am less convinced than some people that there's going to be an invasion UM. And and and that's really just kind of like I it's a really risky move for the Russian government. UM. Straight up, in a fight, Russia beats Ukraine. UM. They're just much bigger, they have a much better indigenous arms industry. UM, they have a longer logistical tail, they have a military that's a lot larger. But Ukraine is militarily not a pushover. And this would not be so.

Russia's spent most of our adult lives UM engaged in a number of low level conflicts, low level to them by their standards, certainly not to the people in the area, in places like Libya and Syria UM and then recently UM in Armenia. UH. And these these kind of conflicts have been primarily for them, in addition to kind of

some geopolitical goals, a way to test different new weapons systems. UM. So there's been a lot of specifically different kinds of like missiles, different kind of drone based systems, different kind of like weapons systems like a g t M s that they've been figuring out battle doctrine for and testing in the field UM, both to equip their own forces and to you know, sell to other militaries around the world, and so Russia's got experience, a lot of experience and

is very well equipped for fighting a specific kind of conflict that this won't be because Ukraine is is not a peer when it comes to certainly air power, but is a near peer force um, which means they have access to most of the same advanced kind of weapons systems in some cases maybe even some superior weapons systems.

They don't have the kind of air power that Rush should be able to bring to bear, but they do have anti air defenses, which is something that the Russian Air Force is not dealt with to the same extent that they will be in drain. We would be arming them from what we are are it. We would continue, but like there's a commitment of more things and more. To the point, the Ukrainian military has had nearly a decade. They were kind of a basket case as a force

when the war started. They've had a lot of fighting experience at this point, and it would be ugly. It would be so that that there's a lot of risk to Russia because it would be a fucking nightmare probably. I mean, there's always this possibility it happens and they roll right through. And you know, history has surprises for us.

But I think most people who know anything about war are expecting that if there is a full on, kind of unlimited engagement with the existence of the Ukrainian nation kind of at at stake, it's going to be really fucking nasty. Um. And there's a big question in my mind as to like, well, what's the benefit Is the possible benefit of of engaging in that kind of situation worth it to Putin because it's it's going to be

tremendously expensive. It's going to cost probably a lot in terms of order because Russia is already having, as we saw with Kazakhstan, problems with these you know, and and Belarus just went through this massive which is a major alley. There's in the massive series of protests and uprisings. So I just don't know. I don't think he's always wanted this.

This has always been Putin's big thing, the big and this is that there's that there is that this is not the first time there have been troops massed on the Ukrainian border. It's just a mess, and nobody really knows what's going to go down, um, But it's certainly an incredibly tense and potentially really really bad situation, because it's not impossible that a war between Russia and Ukraine that escalates to that extent could Poland surrounding nations and

could lead to something really bad. Um. And there's you know, to some extent to which it would be difficult for Russia to walk back because they did stuff like kind of uncapped their tactical nuclear weapons, which is like a big sign that you're you're preparing for aggression, and just all of this without getting any kind of concessions at all. There's a question my mind as to whether or not like Putin would be willing to like take the kind of hit to the national prestige that that would that

would endeavor. Um, I hope nothing happens, And that maybe why I'm kind of less convinced that something is going to happen, because I just I keep thinking about the people that I met over there, who you know, were exhausted of the war a year and a half in and after seven more years, I'm sure I just just done. Uh, And I don't want them to have to deal with

any of this. But anyway, that's that is probably a responsible overview of of yeah, happening in Ukraine right now, um, and what might happen in the near future, I hope. So it's certainly not qualified. It's certainly yeah, me neither um scary And I like your attitude and outlook of hoping nothing happens, because it would be a big deal obviously, um and potentially very bad for Russia. But it does make me very nervous and it um and that fucking would happen. We would enter World War three a in

the middle of a pandemic. Well, you know, I don't know. There's one possibility is a more limited war where some of the like Estonia and and uh, Georgia get involved on Ukraine's side, and there's like and and Belarusk gets involved and and and so it's more geographically limited than

World War Three. But it becomes this huge proxy struggle in the West, start flooding and weapons and like you start seeing maybe death tolls like the Iran Iraq or something where you've got but also hundreds of thousands dying. There's just so many far reaching implications even for that. Or we're talking refugee crisis, and I mean absolutely in every arena, or like we're talking economic sanctions or different stuff. Well that tends to affect ripple out word and affect

the world in general, and so there's a lot. Yeah, And like, for example, there's this messy, messy situation where like the German government is kind of supporting Ukraine but also is entirely dependent on Russian gas um to to an extent that is like massive and probably will go

down in history as a disastrous decision. We can talk about the ethics of like nuclear power forever, but Germany made a real clear decision to like back away from nuclear power, which made them completely fucking um uh dependent upon Russian oil and gas, which is having an impact on the way they're approaching this. Like I haven't open this, but I did just see something about the US is preparing um emergency plans for gas and power supplies. U.

The knock this will be if it happens, will be horrific. Um. Yeah, it will be rific for Russia too. Like that's the thing. Even if they win. Um, the odds that any win that anyone has in this will be like so so pyric as to be not really a win are pretty high. Um, it's an incredible gamble, And I think the gamble Putin is making I suspect his geographical ambitions are kind of

more limited than people are giving him credit for. And he's hoping very quick war take these things, get the prestige force everybody through fear to like back away and kind of let it happen. Um, you know, and and and he might get that that's the kind of thing. There's a canny way, I think, um to do that. I think any attempt to like actually eat the entire country, so to speak, through direct military force, um, would be uh tatanically ugly. But you know, it's it's really hard

to say what's going to happen. There's so many different kind of variables here, and there's there's really frustrating ship. Like I'm seeing people now on Twitter being like Joe Biden, you know what, an idiot starting a war with Russia in the winter, and it's like the war is a decade old, Joe didn't start it. Uh, It's it's like that's stupid. I'm sorry. Like, even if you think that we shouldn't be sending any aid to Ukraine, that certainly

stands you can take that's an idiotic take. Um, and it's deeply disrespectful to people, to the people who have been dying and suffering in Eastern Ukraine for like a decade. So so stop it with that kind of bullshit. It's fine if you think shipping weapons there won't make the situation better, certainly an arguable point, always an arguable point, um. But don't pretend that this is an example of US

aggression against Russia because that's asinine um. And there's also ship Like people there was bitching online about like the term for the weapons that we were sending Ukraine, that we called it lethal aid, as if that was like, oh, it's another like manufacturing can sent euphemism, which I just kind of disagree with entomologically, Like, I think lethal aid is fine. It's very direct. I think it's an honest way, like, yeah, it's that's meant to help them kill people, Like that's

not Yeah. I even think it's more direct than saying we're sending the weapons, because like, weapons is a broad category and weapons can include things like anti missile missiles, which are defensive. Lethal aid means like this is aid to help them kill people whatever. Yeah. At the same time, I mean, I guess they're trying to dress it out of is usually reserved, like you know, like the connotation from that word is like a positive sort of helpful, say I'm sending a lethal thing. But yeah, I do,

you know, I understand. But whatever, Um, it doesn't something I've never seen before, and it's an odd thing to pop up suddenly. It's been used before. It's just generally when we admit to doing stuff like this, it's on a more a very different it's in a very different situation than it is in Ukraine, and so it's not the kind it gets as much news coverage. Yeah, I take a break before we, yeah, slide into some bends,

but I am not looking forward. I mean, it's already happening, but to what you're talking about, just the different conversations and the framings of it that are so hard to unpack and totally unfair and lacking any context. And then the people on the right saying, well, Trump would have done this, or this wouldn't have happened, or you know, Trump, it's going to be a problem for us through the elections no matter, and that group. I mean, but everything is.

But activist groups stopped the war has been like doing a whole thing to like stop the war in Ukraine from starting. And again it's like it's it's happening. You can't and has been for seven or eight years, like stop it. Putin it's still there. It's perfectly and perfectly reasonable to talk about aspects of US policy have made

that have made this worse. I mean that one of the reasons I talked about Paul Manafort so fucking much, who is deeply tied into the to like the U. S. Foreign policy establishment, into the you know, the military industrial complex, but just pretending that like if we don't get involved, there won't be a war. No, there will be a war, like there's been Like it's not it's happening right now. Um yeah, anyway, all right, anyway, we're gonna talk about

Ben in a moment together everything. Yeah, now time for that good stuff with art, with art, Yeah you wanna Shall we get back to Ben Shapiro? Was that enough talking about the real world for you? Mother? I hope so it was plenty for me. Again, We've got other shows that you can tune into shows and the news is the bummer. Let's have some funner, Yeah, exactly. What's not a bummer is hearing Ben Shapiro try to write nineteen eighty four. Um with the notable handicap of having

never experienced or felt anything in his entire life. It's a problem. It's a real issue. It could it could, it could come to use, but sadly, here we are. UM. So yeah, you know it's the last one. Also, so we'll you know, we'll revisit that. We'll revisit the fucking news in the future. But um, we did. Yeah, you're if you're listening, you're definitely news out. Um. I'll take Katie's word for it. Does anybody remember the last thing? I do? But I'm sort of like wondering where where

does where? Does everybody think we left off? What was going on? Uh? He looked up at the star. He saw a magic start him up to the horrors of authority, right right, right right, and then he ran and that cube floated or Scott scoot the cube, which is a rip off of the prisoner, but a fine like that's the kind of thing feels to be honest, we're making fun of it, but that's the kind of thing that's

that's that's perfectly. They can even add some depth to a science fiction story when you when you can see like, ah, he must have been inspired by this, he's a fan of this, Like he's pulled in this, Like that's that's okay, that's that's fine. I would argue that there's a difference between like inspiration and just like lack of creativity, and it's like I have something because there's there's nothing about this.

Using tropes are interesting, but like changing not bad, not necessarily no, But in this case, I would argue that, yes, it is very bad. Yeah, that's probably, but I mean, it doesn't make me think wouldn't it be interesting to write a story about that that's like a post know um apocalyptic living in sort of like nineteen eighty four style dystopia. Becomes clear that the people who built the dystopia were directly ripping off nineteen eighty four and the

prisoner and stuff. That's what I not clear to the people in the world, but it's clear to the reader that like that could be neat You could do a fun story that way he's doing, but it could No, No, not at all. But like if you're looking times, I'll like like watching someone reading something being like distiction not exists in this world. Um, but to uh, yeah, to do something where like, yeah, it does and it's all the stuff that you've known, but not like maybe you've

got even like competing factions within the authoritarian government. One of them is nineteen eighty four. One of them is going kind of like weird Brazil style and like, yeah, you could do the world in there where you were writer. There's there's things you could do that could be fun here. But but no, this is literally just you needed a pod, um, but can't be that. You've got to make it a cube shaped pod. But give us a sentence. Okay, so I'm gonna I will read the last paragraph that we

read just to get us to get us back. Um. And that paragraph is one of his longer ones, at five sentences, I think. Um. Then he saw them in the reflection of the large mirrored glass panes of the Ministry of Food Provision. The cube shaped enforcement pods were rolling down the street after him, gaining rapidly in the lead pod. Yeah, it sounds like they kind of wheels in the lead pod, but it would be so it's actually kind of silly if they roll on wheels, if

they're just big cubes on wheel. Ye, yes, we're being pedantic. But it's a bad story and it's funny to us, so required, Uh, pedantry is required when reading these. In the lead pod, though, he could see the slack jawed face of a slightly bored enforcer Capital E, who leaned forward and pushed a button. Suddenly, the pod jumped as those spurred with the cattle prod bucked and leaped toward him. The distance shrank one block. His feet were giving way now half a block. Uh So, it's like a giddy

up kind of thing. But it's a cube cube that spurted. Fine, it's fine. The pod loudspeaker opened up, opened up. The pod loudspeaker opened up with that pulsating rhythm. He'd heard the rhythm once before. He'd only seen one enforcement action before. It had been a young girl ready for recruitment to the Ministry of Personal Needs. She had run just in front of his living space. They had turned on the pulse Capital p she'd fallen to her knees, sobbing hysterically.

By the time they loaded her into the enforcement pod, she was in full spasm. He never knew what happened to her, but he hadn't thought of her again until now. The pulse grew louder. The pod crept up on him, an animal in pursuit of its prey. He looked for an escape to the right or left, but each block was solid. No alleyways to prevent clandestine meetings and secret liaisons, a policy he had always thought fair and good. But the unforgiving, unbroken walls continue to end of this to

the end of the street. Sorry, I'm just like lost in his prose. But the unforgiving, unbroken walls continued to the end of the street. But behind him, the pulse crescendoed. He could feel the hair on his arms stand on end. His knees began to buckle. Soon he knew his legs would give out, his head fry from the pulse. Mm hmmm hm. And I'm gonna read this again soon. Comma this yeah, soon, Comma. He knew, Comma, his legs would

give out. Comma, his head fry from the pulse. His legs would give out, His head would fry from the pulse. Look out too many words there, This is minor, But he described that woman being instantly right, didn't she come spasm? And now he's been running from the pulse. This whole time. Yeah, she's fallen to her knees, sobbing hysterically. She's in full spasm. I'm just doing well, unclearer of I mean, like he's

been running from it for a minute. It's fine, but it's just very unclear how this works, how it affects people, why it's affecting him differently than it affected her. I bet he doesn't know a special boy. Yeah. The thing is though, so soon, he knew his legs would give out, his head fry from the pulse, but it didn't. As the pulse grew closer, he felt a strange sensation flow through his limbs, a second burst of energy. He was not like that girl, he suddenly realized. Oh, he's a

special al right. I was trying to give him a little bit of credit that, like, maybe he was just not explaining everything right away. He's special, Kay, he's a special boy. That's good. Yeah, okay, you know, but he's special. Uh. He was not like that girl. He suddenly realized a shocking realization. He had always been like everyone. He's a different words, so bad. I was not like that girl.

He realized a shocking realization, Like right, like, he's not like that girl said he realized shocking for he like, like, all right, he was not like the slack jawed enforcer. Then interesting. Uh the disdain and disrespect he has for the cops in this world. And yet uh, and yet he would never describe any cop these days as slack jawed because those cops are liberals. Exactly. I'll just want to point out that. I mean, I guess I've probably

pointed this out many times throughout this process. Um, it's the voice is exactly the same in every thing. He might tack on some colloquialism to suggest this is a tough guy, or I'm from the South, but you know I was running the hair fry everything. It could be him describing him fighting. He's just trying to, like very bluntly, get ideas that aren't very well thought out to you. As opposed to what he's not trying to do is there's no there's no voice, like I don't think he's

I don't think he's inspired by anyone. I think there's some like ideas, like clearly the vague ideas like someone described nineteen eighty four to Ben Shapiro, or he watched a movie and he was like, oh, I'll do that, but but I don't think he's he I do not believe he's inspired by any actual work of art in the way that like he's he's he's he's not doing the thing that like you do as a writer, where you like read someone else's writing and it influences the

way you write because you you you identify with it and find it powerful. Um. And maybe he's not. Like one of the stories that I've always found interesting is a hun Let's know, when Thompson was a young man, he was a huge fan of like f Scott Fitzgerald in Hmingway, and he would like take their whole books and he would retype their whole book's word for a word to like learn how the how they like, to really get like a feel for how they constructed sentences. Um,

and how like their their work flowed on a technical level. Um. And every writer does you know if not that exact thing to some version of that, right, Like your early work is going to largely be influenced by whatever writers you love, and you gradually develop a style. And Bin's style is is an absence of style. Because I don't think he actually, I mean, he's actually read any fiction, like not really, I think he's aware of fiction, but

he does not. I'm not. I don't know what influence I would I would say he has, because again, this isn't writing well right, it's um it's I don't even know what you would call it. Um, but it's not writing. There's that Uh it's for a while ago, there's that tweet someone was like, what are your top five favorite books? Or like, what are the five best books of all time? Uh? And he quote tweeted it with his answer, and it was literally the results you get if you search for

best books of all time. I'm not exaggerating. That's so funny. Oh that's so funny. Um, I believe Great Gatsby kill to Kill Mockingbird and uh like catching the Rye, I think, um, And it was literally just like the top five from

the search. And I think that that like speaks to it, like it's it's this sort of idea that like, and if you did the same thing with music, you could do also he does he thinks that like what like uh, jazz uh and the blues like ruined music and then rock and role made it even worse, and like it's just sort of like slow like degradation of of like the rules for music is this, which is the kind

of music he likes? Theory. I'm looking at the top five books when you google them, and it's really good that he didn't continue to six, because that would have meant he would have had to say he liked to Catch twenty two. He absolutely the anti Ben Japiro. And then right after that we've got Yeah, that's very a little more before we take another ad break. Yeah, yeah, we like we're getting close to a story break. Yeah, and uh, I just think it's it's two speaking to

what you were talking about. I think it's very funny that it's it is just like a lack of the inspiration from art, a lack of like really being spoken to um or connection to something and then having that blossom into something else. Right, that's uh, you feel the tank up and then it creates more. But um, Anyway, Yeah, I'm sure Ben it feels love for like his kids and stuff. I hope, I sincerely, truly, without being an asshole,

hope that that he is. But I don't know that he's ever experienced awehe I think you can't actually write even competent fiction if you don't know what all feels like. I think it's like a necessary thing because, like we talked about last week during the Star Day, you're not Yeah, you're not describing what it's like to look at the stars. Man, You're just like saying that they did that. Yeah, okay, read a little more. Okay, okay, So, uh he's not like other boys. Um, he was not like the slack. No,

that's just paraphrasing. Um, he's a special boy. The enforcers eyes widened and shocked as the pod approached. He was well within the range of the pulse. Now pulse is also capitalized. Yet nothing was happening. Nothing another to fry before then. Okay, interesting question. Uh nothing. Another enforcement pod opened up with the pulse full bore. Nothing. A smile creased his worn face. He slowed to a jog, then a walk, then finally he stopped dead and turned around,

facing his pursuers. As he did, the pods backed away, as though called away by some higher power. He turned again and ran towards the mountain. Mountain is capitalized. And then that's the end of the section. Oh it's so bad. This is the first we've heard of the mountain. But I can't wait to find out more about it. Maybe

it's like the Game of Thrones mountain. Yeah again, like if you're you're doing this thing where the society is so obsessed with everyone being equal and everything being exactly the same, a mountain is kind of like the ultimate visual symbol that like that that's not real, that like that can't can't be reality. So if it's always visible. Again, if you were trying to write something interesting, maybe you would have earlier introduced that, Like he tried to look

at it, but like his eyes automatically scanned. There's some sort of like deep mental programming hypnosis, like he like his head hurts, or there's some robots always watching or something, and there's like this warning beeper whenever someone's eyes straight towards the mountain, because you don't want people to look at the mount wouldn't want people to look you wouldn't want people at the stars. Yeah wait till Robert you write your book of short stories, because I think it

would be really good. They are just all erotic power Rangers fiction exactly really good. Still also inspired by but the parts of four that fuck, you know, like the parts that the parts that inspired that community episode that those are the parts I'm copy sex parts. We're gonna take a break for ads and be right that it's true. It sure will together. Everything's so dumb. Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah in the sky. Yes, yes, Katie. Have you guys watched I think you should leave. I've seen one episode

and then some choice sketches from it. So you gotta you gotta, you gotta get through all that. You gotta just sit down. It's like three hours for all of it. It's so it's the funniest thing in the world. I thoroughly enjoyed the one. Yeah, what what's the one you saw? Um? The first one? Oh yeah, yeah, I'm sure that's the one. Now you gotta see you gotta see Corn cop TV and you haven't seen Corn. That's the other thing, like I see like the memes. Um, it's it's it's very funny.

I now communicate with several people almost entirely through references to I think you should leave. I've never had a show to be like that. I'm so happy for you. It's very Um. That's the mark of good art. It's really Darmak and gelatted pretty hard. Um. Simpsons, I think is a good example of that. Um of just like, yeah, communicate with all the quotes. Okay, boys, back to the book, back to the book, back to the book. So I

just wanted to think about art for a second. I understand we all enjoyed something like a unique voice that like sticks with you and yeah, um god, all right, so he ran towards the fucking mountain, which is capitalized. Um, he didn't know how he knew about the mountain? Oh perfect, Okay. And also this is this is exactly the way you don't introduce something crucial like this. It's just like basic writing.

You would you would introduce it very early on, tease it, and then because that's what makes the story a story. You have like walking down the street and here even here snipped snippets of a conversation or something or yes, literally any mention of this. But the point is maybe he just like irrationally hates the mountain. Maybe everyone hates the mountain because it's right, it's risen above like the thing, maybe like one of the eight pointless day jobs, because

this is a point post scarcity society. But they have to make everyone work. Is everybody takes turns going to the mountain and cutting pieces of it away to try to take it down down. Things you could do, were you a storyteller. Alas, he didn't know how he knew about the mountain. The Ministry of Environments never talked about it. Nobody knew. Yeah, nobody knew the words mountain or valley. Wait, okay, okay,

he's trying to again. Like what I was explaining is like how you would if you were trying to make like right wing propaganda, how you would do it competently. He's just so bad at it. It's like, yeah, I'm so sorry everybody listening to this that we have to stop every two sentences. But it's impossible to not. Yeah, it's fascinatingly bad. The Ministry of Environment never talked about it. Nobody knew the words mountain or valley. He couldn't even

see the mountain capitalized. The bubble also capital Oh now we introduce that. So after this thing has been important for a while, we announced that you can't see the mountain. You can't see the mountain because of the bubble, which is apparently a thing. Okay, so how can you see the fucking stars whatever? Maybe they're drawn off like somebody gave him this note of like all the like what you were just saying, Robert, and he just tacked it

in like he didn't. He's like, oh, here, I'll give some information withoutgoing and like rethinking, like how go back a few pages, Yeah, go back, rework the story, you know. And it's this thing when you add when you're doing world building in a science fiction book, it's it's great if your world if you drop something that like makes

people ask further. Like, for example, in my novel I, I have like a couple dropped references that there's a fucking king in Albuquerque and it's a thing that people talk about in the subread of a lot, I get a lot of questions about it, and like, I think it's an effective thing in the story because it it makes the point like, oh, things I really changed. There's like some stuff going on and as part of the

world that's fascinating. I wonder what's going on there. But it doesn't take you out of the story because it's not like a mechanical thing about how the world functions, right, it's just like, oh, there's this thing going on in Albuquerque, that there's a king there that's weird, Like that makes

it feel deeper. It's like um in uh in Star Wars, Like there's a lot of of of good examples of like when they meet Han Solo and he's like um talks about the Kessel Run or whatever, where it's like, I don't need to know what the Kessel Run is. It is increased my enjoyment of the story because it's added depth. The opposite of that is introducing something that

makes you wonder on a very basic level how reality functions. Here, Like halfway through this fucking story, dropping that they live under a bubble that you've never talked about before or explained, and so suddenly I'm asking all these questions, why, how did the stars work? How are you all started to did they take the bubble down? How did you know there was a mountain here? If you can't see the mountain,

that takes me out of it. It's the difference between world building that you don't always have to explain everything, but you you need to know the things that you don't like. You need to know when your world building is going to make the world feel deeper and when your world building is going to make it make less sense exactly. Yeah, it's uh, it's it. It makes it feel convoluted and sloppy, and like does your does this sentence you're adding raise questions are distracting or does it

just make it richer? Does it make the world richer? Um? I don't need to know every detail unless it's confusing. Um. All I know about the Kessel run is that it's actually apparently it's impressive. It's an impressive thing he did. He did a thing, um uh in a short amount of time than it's possible or the distance I guess is the part sect of the question there. But like it's just like, oh, it's it tells me about the character. It doesn't tell me a very important thing about the

world and how it functions. Yeah, it's one of those things like in in in in the scene when we meet all the bounty hunters in in what the Second Star Wars. Notice integrations Yeah, yeah, notice integrations right, perfect line give you some gives this character who gets very few lines, this like really feeling of depth to him,

gives like there's a relationship between him. In Vader also build something about the world that like, yeah, these are the kind of dudes that the Empire would hire as opposed to Boba Fette saying, you know, I can stop anyone's heart from a thousand miles away with my mind and then never bringing it up again. And then suddenly you're like, well, why isn't he doing that now? Like what's going on with that? That doesn't make any sense?

How can you do that? Like? Yeah, and it speaks to like, okay, Vader very very very much wants to take this guy alive. That speaks to a lot like what happens later. It's all this stuff in this one line. It doesn't make you go wait what? Yeah? Yeah. As as a rule, you want people to get excited and to ask and to have like things that they're curious about you want. You want ideally people are interested about things that you don't fully explain in your world building,

because that means that the world has some depth. But you don't want people to go wait, wait what, Yeah, there's a different curiosity that infusion. I'm confused. It's bad. If I'm curious about what that means, then maybe I'll find out as I turned the pages, Um, I cares what happens next. Thank god there's more. So he couldn't even see the mountain. I didn't even finish the sentence

before we started talking about this. He couldn't even see the mountain thanks to the bubble, the protective climate change artificial environment that made all land even and flat, fruitful and evenly graded. Too many evens in their buddy. Nobody he knew had ever been outside the bubble. Okay, that's what the bubble does. Does when he reached the wall of the bubble, very easy to do, apparently, when he reached the wall like this is so quick. When he

reached the wall of the bubble, he stopped, puzzled. The plexiglass dome rose thousands of feet off the ground. It was dozens of feet thick, brightly polished, gleaming in the red sun, perfectly smooth, unblemished, unbreakable, terrible paragraph. He sat in the dust for hours, waiting. He didn't know what he was waiting for. He only knew that he had no other choice. It wasn't a protest against the ministries

or against his brethren. He just knew that after seeing the wild Star, he would never go back to the spigot. He would never go back to his living space. He would never go back to his blue clad women or his card playing acquaintances, terrible paragraph. He waited for the enforcers because none, none of it's just like really and like literally it is just a magic star made him think this, like I'm just yeah, man, and there's no

setup of like there was tension before. He felt empty, he wanted like he's asking for more from one of these comforts. You know, he was happy, he said many time, exactly like there's it means nothing that suddenly he's broken free. Also as Cody you mentioned, but just in general, everything happens so fast. There's no like he was chased by these things. There's no real explanation or exploration of what's happened, why he's different, why he's not being you know. And

then they're gone. And so he ran a supposedly far distance that was not far at all, just to a wall and he sat down and they're processing all this stuff. There's no actual drama here, and like it would be a great opportunity to like run through this space towards the edge of the bubble where we can get more information about the world, um, like literally finding out that there is a bubble and then he's there. Yeah, Um, it's just yeah, there's no tension um whatever. It's like

really boring you. That's all I can say about it, uh, and other stuff soon alright, So he waited for the enforcers to come get him. The red sun rose above him. He swept through his gray jumpsuit and stripped down. He felt the heat on his shoulders concentrated through the dome, like an ant under a magnifying glass. He had never seen an aunt. He had only heard of a magnifying glass. Wait, how does he know what did he hear about an aunt too? Did the word aunt just come into his mind?

Like I would say? It's bad because Ben is telling the story in the third person, so he's it's not a first person thing. So the guy isn't saying I feel like an ant under magnifying glass. The narrator is saying it's like an ant under a magnifying glass. But by the way, he doesn't know what an aunt is. So it's just a poor choice of words that the art is it the narrator saying it's like an ant

under a magnifying glass. Because then a raider hasn't interjected, and I'm going to guess does not interjected any other points in this story. Okay, um, yeah, it's just a poor choice, like to use that turn of phrase because they're like, oh, by the way, like he's never seen

an ant before. He'd heard of magnifying glasses though, which is like all right, introduced and start flipping around like that at this point, that's great, exists, Like you got rid of all the bugs with his bubble, all right. And then the dome opened and he was free. Okay, they're great. He really tried hard for this, he's actually and then the dome opened. Yeah, so he never magnifying glass stuff. New paragraph. And then the dome opened and

he was free. New paragraph. Stories work formatting issue. The doorway appeared, almost as if by magic. It's slid open slightly. The darkness beckoned beyond it. He stepped through new paragraph, even worse formatting error in the distance, silent and frightening, sat the mountain capitalized. It was barren, a waste land

spotted with sulfur and salt. Something inside him warned him, Something inside him warned him from the mountain, a deep spot in his consciousness, covered in a gauzy film of time. He boy lofty, calm down man, all right, mountain just like so out of place in this very like boring like and then the bubble did this, and he walked like but the guzzy, So that's what you're going to describe. That's when that's the choice. It's so so out of place. Anyway,

he walked towards the mountain. It stood surprisingly close to the bubble. It was a miracle. He thought that you could not see the mountain from inside semi colon outside the I'm sorry, all right, it was is a miracle. Comma, he thought, Comma that you could not see the mountain from inside semicolon outside the bubble. Comma, it was the only feature of the landscape. I guess that's what you have to do if you want to say that sentence.

That's appropriate functuation. Barren desert extended in every direction from the mountain. A light shone on the new paragraph. A light shone on the mountain, winking in the distance. New paragraph. The bubble shut behind him, new paragraph. He walked towards the mountain. Um, so that section is now over, and it ends, so like the last one ended. He turned again and ran towards the mountain, and this one ends.

He walked towards the mountain really bored. I feel like this is a good spot for us to wrap things up today. I think that's probably fair. We've got and I'm so sorry seven more pages of this ship. Uh, we're gonna have to change how he read through this. Um m hm. The last page is blank. So that's something that's a win, that's a real win. That's probably be the best written page of the book. Yeah, I'm gonna say not a formatting error of formatting triumph. That's

just been apologizing to all of us. Yeah, feeling they're fill in the blank. I'm sorry, buddy. Um so I guess Cliffhanger, what's the mountain? What's he going to find out? At the mountain's walking towards? Let us know in our reply after the bubble. I actually do want I I love it when people chime and work their thoughts on this. Oh it's great because the guys are funny. Yeah, baby, take a babe, God, um this was really it's fun the right word. No, but it is. I know what

it was. It was a time though we might say a time the gauzy film of time. It's been a you know what that is exactly what it is been. It has been a gauzy film of time. I couldn't have said it's going to be a haze that I won't remember that. Well, that's right, that's right. That is very very appropriate, which is why I look forward to your responses in the comments. Tune in next time to find out what the next Uh here's a fun game

for any listeners. And I don't know if there is one, but if there is, what do you think the next capitalized word is going to be? The like, the the object or the person or like whatever that's like, Well, I gotta capitalize this because it's sci fi. What do you think it's going to be, folks, Well, it's outside of it. Maybe things won't be. I was going to say, though, lake m hm um rock could be. It could be it could be an object, it could be a person, It could be an event. It could be Oh I

see it, all right, he sees it? What is it? I'm not telling you. Okay, that's it for us this week. We'll be back next week with maybe some news and book and we're having fun and keeping it real. Keep it real, y'all, Keep it real. Real. Can find us all from hashtag smarts everything, so everything I tried. Worst Year Ever is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.