Hi, it's our Ask Me Anything segment where we take on a work-related question that you have sent to us. Today's question was sent in by our listener Dan. Now, Dan thinks his colleague perceives him as a threat. Let me read Dan's question. I just joined a new company as a contractor. I possess some skill sets that are perceived as versatile and I have a postgraduate degree in a data related field. I think an incumbent employee sees me as a threat
to her job. She's definitely uncooperative when it comes to work. She will say she doesn't understand my questions and ask me to think through the issues on my own. How can I manage such a situation and turn it around?
Well, I think interestingly last week I had someone who asked me a similar question.
So did you ask him in person?
So I think when we are thinking about working in a workplace, especially when we are new, we often want to look for people who can be our friends and at least be cooperative and supportive in our work, but that doesn't always happen. In this particular case, there are multiple things that in my mind, right? One. Then it's not an employee, he's a contractor. I'm not sure what that means. What's the difference in the
work and seen as
less as an outsider. Maybe that's why the colleague feels a certain way towards him. Could be, could be, or maybe there could be other things that Dan did that the colleague didn't really like.
So rub the off the wrong way. In Dan's mind, it sounds like it could be an education thing because he did mention the postgraduate degree. I mean, it may May not be a reason for this colleague to feel that he's a threat. So
there are many reasons why someone would not be cooperative and I think our minds can stretch very far towards why what did we do wrong and you know, is there any way that we can salvage that relationship? One thing that I think Dan can try is to really think about how to season the working relationship with better like you know pepper, yeah, you want to marinate that meat a little bit more, yeah, yeah,
so you see your colleague as a piece of meat. But OK,
continue. Yeah, so maybe like find some common ground, find some common topics. Small talk, I think is really important. If today you're new and you are seen as a little bit of an outsider, seen as a bit as a threat, I think try to find some small talk to season that relationship, then could ask a little bit more about this colleague's work itself, not asking for the colleague for help, but maybe commenting about wow, you did a great job on this piece of work.
Would I come across as fake though, like, you know, like, wow, good job. So,
so that's why the seasoning needs to be done nicely so that
they can see that you're very authentic and you mean what you say. Yes,
correct. So you cannot come across as patronizing or you're trying to do something to get into the Kalis good books. I think be genuine about it, right? Like to say that, well, really, I'm really very impressed with this piece of work, wow, thank you for helping me on this part. I think these are small little things that you can do to set up the working relationship. So that's the first thing, right, seasoning it.
Then the second thing perhaps is to fine tune. So where there are specific instances where Dan and his colleague had a run in or they maybe they have some disagreements, it's important to have some clarity and some communication about it, right? For example, when the colleague says that you go and think about it by yourself, right? I'm not sure whether it's possible for them to explain a little bit more why this is a bit of a challenge to do.
And then also maybe to ask that colleague, could you maybe clarify a little bit for me like when you say go and think on your own, like, is there something that you think I should be doing on my own? or what's my part to play in this? And then also what I hope you can help me for this particular work piece. So ask for some clarity.
Yeah, and also I think it's OK to show a bit of vulnerability as well. If Dan is really clueless when your colleague says something like this, which Sounds quite passive aggressive, then can just go, oh, actually I really don't know and I kind of need help. Do you mind helping me?
Yes, I think it makes a lot of sense because Dan's question reveals a little bit about how maybe he's seen the track because maybe he has more education and perhaps the colleague is thinking, oh, you should know this one, you're already at a higher level of education than me. So maybe a parent a bit vulnerable allows a colleague to her gut as well. Yeah, so I do think that there is some merit to season the relationship and then after fine tune, I think the fine tuning is important
and the fine tuning process, try to find win-win. Lots of ways to clarify, but it's important for them to ask how she sees it and how he sees it as well, and to try to see how can we make this working relationship work for us both. Lastly, I think time is also important.
Unfortunately, yeah, you just need time to let the person get to know you better.
My own personal observations of many situations like this when newcomers join in and then they had a harder time to blend in. After a while, it somehow just works itself out. Maybe it's because someone else newer will come in. Yeah, and then after that, then then seen as a regular already.
I think that Dan can also ask this person for advice in terms of their institutional knowledge, because Dan is new, so Dan can always just say, actually I don't know how y'all would do this in this company and I'm still learning. Give me some background or some history so that I can do my job better. If this colleague does feel a bit insecure that Dan does have more. then this colleague will feel that actually I have something to bring to the table, that legacy knowledge. Yes,
it's part of the seasoning and fine tuning process.
So Dan, I hope that this chilly situation you have with your colleague will get better soon. And if like Dan, you have a work-related question, do write it to us. We are at CNA podcast at Mediacorp.com.sg. This podcast is also available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, me listen, YouTube, where a video version of this is at. The team behind the Work It podcast is Hoeing, Jeanini Johari, Joanne Chan, Saya Win, Allison Jenner, and Shahza Dalela. Video by Hanida Amin. I'm Gerald and
I'm Tiffany. Have a great work week ahead and be an ally to that colleague of yours. It'll make everyone's day better.